UPDATE: I've found out the name of the shoyru. It's Kentari. 8DThanks to sh0rtaznman on neopets for the information.
Chapter Two
(Kentari is the narrator for this chapter now.)
So I should begin at dinner, then? Very well...
Hoban: Yeah, let's see you laugh when I sail you into a storm!
Linae: Yo mama!
Hoban: Yo mama is my ho!
Linae: NIGGA!
Hoban: -walks off-
Cap'n: WTF was that all about?
Linae: He's just grumpy, as usual.
Kentari: One should not joke about such things.
Anshu: Relax, he's harmless.
We soon put the incident out of our minds and resumed eating...
Me: Ok, ok! What happened next? Gosh...
I ate with chopsticks!
Me: Good for you, and then...?
I was the first to finish eating, and quickly returned to my duties.
I made my usual inspection of the weapons room. Everything was in order. Then, as I was making my rounds...
Me: Youuu...tripped on a zeenana peel.
Who told you? O.O
Me: -shrug- I gots mah ways...
I saw Bonju sneak out of the weapons room!
Me: Gasp!
Really.
(Bonju walks out of the room, hiding something in his jacket. A very strange look is on his face.)
Bonju: -fart-
But before I had time to investigate...
"ALL HANDS ON DECK! WE'VE NOT A MOMENT TO LOSE!"
The wind blew fiercely. It even blew off the captain's gay polka-dotted hat. Within moments, the storm was upon us.
Me: How frightening!
Indeed. A couple of hours into the storm, I had trouble securing the forward topsail brace on the starboard side, which had begun to come loose. Hoban came to assist, but he seemed upset.
Kentari: What crawled up your ass and died?
Hoban: A mootix, okay? Linae won't stop yapping about how I'm a "bad omen," and that the storm was my fault! How ridiculous!
Kentari: Maybe she likes you...
Hoban: SCREW THAT BITCH! -runs off crying-
(The storm tosses the ship back and forth, making everyone very seasick.)
(The storm ends...)
Cap'n: Is everyone okay? Good. We need to get back on course. Where's Hoban?
Anshu: You asked a second question before we could answer the first...
Cap'n: -ignores him- Sooo...where's Hoban?
Kentari (vomiting over the side of the ship): I...-barf-...saw him during...-barf-...the storm. But not since...-hurls-... He's probably off...-baaaarf-...napping somewhere.
Cap'n: Mmm hmm...finished puking your guts out?
Kentari: Yes...no, wait... (he vomits all over the captain)
Cap'n: At ease, mate. At ease...
It was then Orrin informed us that he had seen someone fall off the ship. We searched high--
(Swordmaster Talek appears from the Lost Desert Plot Spoof with a doobie in his mouth.)
Talek: HAHAHAHAHA! YOU SAID 'HIGH'! 8D (sways, then passes out with the joint still stuck in his mouth)
Anyway... -ahem-...We searched high--
Talek: -twitches in his unconsciousness- Hee...hee hee...
Rrrr...WE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW. But we could find no trace of Hoban. I'm sorry, but that is all the information I have.
Me (sarcastically): Well...that was certainly most helpful.