Thanks for sticking with me! I've been in shock since Saturday and needed a bit of a breather! This is dedicated to Laced-With-Fire, thank you for reviewing loads, I love nice reviews!

Memories of a Killer

The Doctor aimed the sonic screwdriver at Adam's heart. "Give Rose back to me." Adam's eyes locked onto the Doctor's own. Adam tossed the pocket knife away, into the far reaches of the TARDIS. The Doctor was breathing heavily still and his hand shook at repressed fury. Adam's eyes darted down to the Doctor's shaking hand and back up to his face. A knowing glint sparked and he came closer to the Doctor, voice relaxed.

"Do it then." The Doctor didn't move, frozen to the spot. "Come on. It's what you want to do; I can see it in your eyes. You want to kill me."

The Doctor nodded and smiled. "Yes, I do. I want to rip you limb from limb. I want to destroy you for hurting her."

Adam laughed. "Thank God! That's the first real thing you've said to me all night. I believe you. You want to kill me and I understand why." He swung Rose's wilted form to the grated floor gently but stood in front of her. "It's because you wanted to protect her but you were too late. That guilt is what'll eat you up forever."

His hand stopped shaking momentarily. "I promised Jackie I'd keep her safe."

"Nothing lasts forever, you know it. Maybe too well, but you know it."

"You're not gonna stop me Adam."

He advanced further into the Doctor's space and the sonic screwdriver was now digging into Adam's chest. "Kill me then." The Doctor did nothing. He was frozen again. "Do it. You wanted revenge, well this is it. Take your best shot."


Tell me of all the things I've never seen.
And it's the strange days

And all those echoes in between.
It always makes me sad to be here.
It isn't what it seems.
I think of all the precious time I've wasted,
while you live your life in dreams.

The Doctor stared at Rose's body lying on the floor then back up to Adam. This was all a trick, the Doctor knew it. Adam knew it and was using it. "Come on, Doctor, make me scream! And bleed! And beg for mercy! Show me what you're made of!" He came even closer and whispered in the Doctor's ear, "because then you get to stay in your little make-believe world where revenge can cure guilt. But deep down, you know as well as I do that she'd never forgive you for killing an un-armed man. A man who surrendered."

The Doctor's eyebrows raised and his eyes widened. "It won't stop me from coming back for you one day."

"I wouldn't expect it to. In fact, I'd be surprised if it did." Adam stared at the confusion in the Doctor's face, "this is what you are. This is who you are. You kill un-armed and innocent people for the greater good. You're just like me."

The Doctor exploded, "I am nothing like you! I make sacrifices because I have to!"

"What then, am I a sacrifice for your campaign! What's killing me going to achieve other than revenge! Rose'd hate you for the rest of her life, however long that'd be."

"Maybe it's worth it to see you suffer."

"You kill me and then you'd lose her." He stepped away from the Doctor, over Rose. His arms splayed out in a mock surrender. "I'm not armed. Rose is safe. But you're still pointing that thing at me. If you kill me now, how does that make you better than me?"

How much more there is in me.
I'm in a blind rage for all the feelings that I need.
If I could find some hope tomorrow
then I'll hear you scream.
I can't believe the words you're saying

The truth means no more to me.

Damnit, Damnit, Damnit! Why am I listening to this! The Doctor raged at himself inside his own head. He's right, for one thing. I may not like it but it's still true. The Doctor lowered the sonic screwdriver carefully down to his side again and stared at Adam's relieved face. A thought suddenly struck him. "How did you know about Rose swallowing pills?"

Adam looked at him, startled, "What?"

"How did you find out? Rose wouldn't tell you something like that; she knows that you'd use it. But you knew; so how did you find out?"

Adam looked away, "maybe I've just got good instincts."

"And maybe I'm the Queen of Sheba; although I might be the King after that trip a few years ago. But the only one with good instincts around here is me and mine are saying that you're not telling the whole truth. So, out with it."

Adam shrugged, "you wouldn't believe me."

"Well no, but I can still find out the truth. Time Lords have this trick. I can see into your memories. I can find out the truth without having you talk to me."

Adam was incredulous and raised his voice loud enough to wake the dead, "You wanna walk around inside my head! No way!"

The Doctor smiled, "Fine then, I know you wanna tell me but I won't believe it and this is the only other way but if you're sure…" Adam gritted his teeth, knowing what the outcome would be.

Nothing ever lasts forever.
It's the same for you I'm sure.
All the things we did together,
they just hurt me more and more.

The Doctor placed his hands on Adam's temple and closed his eyes. He saw an image in his head; a piece of paper with an address written on in a messy black scrawl. It said Rose's name and an address he didn't know. He saw Adam getting out of an old battered car and walk up the street, glancing at the address on the paper. The street was dingy, with needles on the floor, broken glass and graffiti everywhere; the Doctor grimaced at the thought of Rose having to live somewhere this bad. Adam looked up at the last house on the road and opened the gate. He knocked on the badly painted front door a few times and waited and waited but no reply came. He walked round to the back of the dank property and peered through the kitchen window.

"Hello? Rose?" Adam called as he went to the French doors at the back of the house and tried pulling them open. They slid open with flakes of rust flying in his hair. Adam went through the kitchen and looked upstairs, calling for Rose again and again but not getting any response. Adam headed up the rickety bare wood stairs cautiously, still calling. Seeing a crack of light, Adam pushed open the door to the bathroom. What the Doctor saw there made his hearts stop in pure shock. Rose was lying unconscious on the bathroom floor with empty pill bottles all around her. The Doctor saw the bottle labels, powerful sedatives, anti depressants and aspirin. An aspirin overdose was painful, massive stomach pains for hours. A slow and excruciating death. Adam rushed over to Rose's form and felt her pulse. For the Doctor, everything went in slow motion, Adam frantically dialling the phone, ambulances and airbags and hospitals and stomach pumps. Doctors in Adam's face, asking if he knew her, asking who he was. Adam running away, scared from them.

The Doctor broke the connection frantically, panicked, staring at Adam who was looking over at Rose. Finally, and with a dry throat and shocked expression, The Doctor stuttered at Adam, "That…that's…that's how…you know? About Rose?" Adam just nodded, "You know because you…you saved her life."

Nothing ever lasts forever.
It's the same for you I'm sure.
Although like now they seem like never.
They'll meet another open door

A/N The twist here was inspired by Cara, so honourable mention goes to her! Thank you for unleashing my creative side upon the world...