Wolfheart's words echoed in Snowfrost's mind as she stormed away from the Treeclan border, back to her own clan. Every hair on her body stood on end with fury. Her claws were unsheathed, gathering dirt and debris with every pawstep. The blood in her ears roared, blocking out every sound except for her own thoughts. If smoke could bellow out of her ears, it would. Though anger directed most of her actions, it was a small pang of sadness tugging at her heart which directed her pawsteps. If it hadn't been for the heartache, Snowfrost may have attacked her ex-mate. But she could never bring herself to do that, no matter how much he'd betray her. Deep down she still loved him. And in her heart of hearts she knew that he still loved her too.
The closer that Snowfrost drew to home, the more her anger began to melt away into sadness. As she passed by The Dip, the lynx point molly found herself unable to move any farther. She stopped abruptly, legs trembling. Her head drooped, and all of her pent up feelings came spilling out. Snowfrost sobbed harshly, clear glimmering tears slipping down her cheeks, dampening her fur. Her already unsheathed claws dug into the earth she stood on, trying to keep her grounded, trying so hard to stop herself from falling over into a crying heap in the dust. Her body felt heavy, as if a weight was pressing on her back. It was as if the whole world had suddenly come crashing down on her. Perhaps it had. Now she knew she had truly lost the love of her life forever, and her career was now in danger because of a stupid mistake. Not only that, but soon she would have kits to take care of. Everything that Snowfrost had ever wanted was being taken away from her. Her destiny, her love, all gone. Over some unborn kits. Maybe Wolfheart was right, maybe she should get rid of the kits. It would be whats best for her after all. But those kits were the last reminder that she had of Wolfheart's love. How could she possibly give them up?
Calming down, Snowfrost decided that she would think about her circumstances more later. She forced herself to regain composure and move on, running the rest of the way back to camp.
Upon arrival she carefully slipped back into the medicine den, tiptoeing past Goldenpaw so as not to disturb her, and curled up in her own nest.Crying still, Snowfrost was stuck awake for much longer than she would have liked. Thoughts continued to fly through her mind like an angry flock of birds as she reflected on her situation, and what the future may hold. Fatigue finally took hold of her after a while, pulling her into a deep, restful slumber.
ooo
The clatter of unfamiliar voices filled Snowfrost's ears as she opened her eyes, arriving in a giant familiar clearing surrounded by bushes and birch trees which towered higher than her line of sight. She was only a 'paw now, named three-quarter moons ago. This was Snowpaw's first gatheringas a medicinecat apprentice, and excitement prickled across her pelt like a crackle of lighting. When Lightstar dismissed the patrol, she wasted no time weaving her way through the crowd. She wanted to meet every cats present, to introduce herself to all those in The Land's Star. 'My name is Snowpaw and I am going to go down in history!' Snowpaw became lost in her senses, unable to fully pay attention to where she was going. Something large and sturdy blocked her path as she walked, nearly knocking her over. Her attention immediately snapped back to reality. She let out a soft "oof" and she backed up to look up at what she'd hit, blinking as she got her senses right. Standing in front of her was a stocky grey and white tom. He was handsome, with long sleek fur and a large broad head. He was tall, not like a warrior, but he was big compared to her. The scent of sap and wood flooded her nostrils, giving away that the tom was from Treeclan. Pale green eyes locked onto Snowpaw, making the medicine cat apprentice feel small."Oh, I apologize," she meeped. "I did not realize anyone was in my path."The tom stared at her for a heartbeat before letting out a chuckle."Don't worry about it," he responded. "Just be more careful next time.""I...I will," she promised. Snowpaw licked her chest fur nervously, glancing up at the stranger as she did so. The tom took a step forward, giving her a sniff.Snowpaw stiffened."Is this your first gathering? I don't remember seeing you here before."Snowpaw gave a nod, straightening herself up. She forced herself to lift her chin in order to appear more confident. She was a proud apprentice and was ready to show it. "Yes, it is. I was just made apprentice not long ago. My name is Snowpaw, of Grassclan.""Snowpaw, huh? Nice to meet you. My name is Wolfpaw, and I'm from-""From Treeclan. I know. I can smell it on your fur." Snowpaw's pelt started to warm. Should she have blurted out the fact that she knew what clan he came from? It did show she was observant after all. But would he think it was weird?Wolfpaw blinked at her in surprise in response. He let out another chuckle, raising his tail in delight. Snowpaw's pelt grew hot at the gesture. This tom was so nice, much more charming and welcoming than she had expected. Were all cats from Treeclan this nice? Or was it Wolfpaw in particular? Snowpaw's heart raced as she thought about it, staring up at Wolfpaw without meaning to. She felt odd, being so in awe of this cat. Perhaps it was just her curiosity tempting her to learn more from the tom."You're a strange kit, aren't you?" Wolfpaw commented suddenly.Snowpaw stepped back in surprise. "I beg your pardon? I am not a kit! I am almost a fully grown medicine cat." She turned her head, raising her nose into the air with closed eyes. She was young, sure, but she was practically fully grown. She was far more intelligent and mature than the other apprentices in her clan. She certainly wanted Wolfpaw to think so."Ooh my mistake," Wolfpaw meowed cheekily. "So you're a medicine cat apprentice?"Snowpaw opened one eye to acknowledge him. She couldn't hold back the smile that began to twist her muzzle."I am. Softpetal says I am learning fast already. Perhaps I will receive my name earlier than most," she boasted proudly."Really? That's pretty neat. I'm a warrior apprentice myself. My mentor's Blazefang.""The deputy?" Snowpaw gasped, turning her head to face him again. Wolfpaw smirked."Yep. He says he's proud to have me as his apprentice. We both think I'm on the path to becoming a great hunting warrior some day. Though, I'm thinking about becoming a fighter too. I need to work on that a little harder, though."Snowpaw let out a small snort, brining her head back down to adress Wolfpaw on a more equal level."I honestly cannot understand the appeal of such things. It's all so...violent. I find more joy in healing wounds than creating them."Wolfpaw nodded along as he listened to Snowpaw speak. He turned his head towards Split Rock for a moment before giving her his attention again."Hey, would you like to come sit with me by Split Rock when the gathering begins? We can chat a while more until then as well, if you'd enjoy that."Snowpaw's eyes twinkled with excitement as she looked up at the taller cat, nodding her head with a smile."Yes...I'd like that very much, Wolfpaw."Once again, Wolfpaw smirked. He stood, sweeping his tail around Snowpaw to guide her in the direction he wanted to head. Snowpaw followed him happily, delighted with the chance to get to know him better. She wondered what this might lead to some day. A bubble of excitement floated into her chest as she thought, making her pawsteps feel light and airy. Wherever this may head, Snowpaw was eager to find out.
ooo
The next morning arrived too quickly for Snowfrost's liking. The light from the outside world shined in her eyes uncomfortably and unsettled her from her slumber. Stubbornly, Snowfrost picked up her wool nest and dragged it as far back into the den as possible before settling back into it. She tucked her nose under her tail and closed her eyes as she began to drift back off to her dream land. But just as she was about to fall asleep again, Goldenpaw came bounding into the den, full of energy. Snowfrost tried her best to ignore the apprentice, but the young she-cat seemed persistent in getting her mentor up. Goldenpaw prodded at her side gently, purring a bit. Snowfrost whipped her head up from her nest to glare at her, blue eyes showing annoyance.
"What is it that you want, Goldenpaw?" she growled lowly. Goldenpaw shifted on her paws, a guilty look spreading across her face.
"I know you were sleeping, but...you said today we have to go on a huge herb picking expedition before the frost comes, and that you wanted me to remind you. It's already mid-morning, sooo I thought this would be a good time to head out."
Snowfrost narrowed her eyes at the pale golden she-cat. "Get a Collector to go with you to fetch the herbs we need," she grumbled, resting her chin on her paws. Goldenpaw gave her mentor a concerned look which only annoyed the older she-cat more. She rolled over to face the den wall, her back towards her apprentice. "I need to rest. You can handle it without me, they're just plants."
Goldenpaw parted her jaws to speak, lifting a front leg to her chest before turning her head away, deciding to keep her thoughts to herself. She muttered a quiet "ok", turning tail and heading for the mouth of the den. She gave one more look back at her mentor before slipping out into the clearing.
Snowfrost sighed with relief, grateful for the peace. Goldenpaw was barely the right age to be named as a true medicine cat in any of the other clans, and was still a while away from being ready by Grassclan's standards. But Snowfrost barely had the patience for teaching an apprentice anymore. She knew that Goldenpaw was capable of handling things on her own, maybe she should give her her suffix and be done with it already. However this was a delicate decision that shouldn't be made irrationally or selfishly. Snowfrost made a mental note to think about it more later. For now, she felt like she could sleep for half a moon.
This occurred for several more days. Snowfrost felt constantly lethargic, barely leaving the den except to eat and use the dirtplace. She would make Goldenpaw handle any issues cats would have, or preform any menial tasks that needed to be done. At first the apprentice had become discouraged by this, but Snowfrost made her start to think of it as a final assessment before receiving her medicine cat's name. After that, Goldenpaw didn't seem so reluctant to handle things on her own.
Finally the day of the half-moon arrived. Goldenpaw was clearly eager to get moving on the long journey to the Moon Cavern. She busted into the medicine den at sunhigh while Snowfrost was busy bathing. She beamed at her mentor, kneading the ground.
"It's time to get going," she announced, the enthusiasm in her voice obvious. Snowfrost rolled her eyes playfully and slowly rose to her paws, stretching back on her haunches before following her apprentice out of the den. She contemplated grabbing a bite to eat before going, finding her appetite quickly becoming ravenous over the past few days. She shook her head, clearing it of the thought. Medicine cats cannot eat before a half-moon meeting, she reminded herself. Goldenpaw bounced as they walked, giggling with excitement the whole way there. But Snowfrost had finally made the decision on whether tonight would be the night Goldenpaw would be named. Even though she was taking up pretty much all the responsibilities of a medicine cat now, she was still just a little too young. And there wasn't anything special about her healing abilities that would warrant an early naming ceremony. Snowfrost knew her apprentice would be disappointed by the news, but she allowed Goldenpaw to enjoy her excitement while it could last.
When they were halfway to the Moon Cavern, the other medicine cats of the Land's Star caught up with them. Goldenpaw excitedly proclaimed to the other unnamed apprentices, Bluepaw and Swanpaw, that she was receiving her name tonight. A twinge of regret pulled at Snowfrost's stomach. Oh how disappointed you will be...
And disappointed she was. Goldenpaw sat and watched as Swanpaw was given her medicine cat's suffix in silence, glancing at her mentor with sad green eyes. Her ears lowered slightly when Snowfrost didn't step forward to announce that she was doing the same. It wasn't the right time for Goldenpaw to become a full medicine cat, Snowfrost reassured herself. This was the right thing. She still has much to learn.
After the ceremony, the medicine cats padded over to brush themselves against the low hanging branches of the Star Willow. They all moved to curl up beside the tree's trunk, seperated into their clan pairs, but still together. Most of the apprentices laid with their mentors, while Goldenpaw went to lay closer to the newly named Swanface. She turned her back to her mentor, settling down to share tongues with Starclan. Pangs of conscience swept over Snowfrost as she found herself painfully lonesome in her spot by the sacred willow. Every other cat had at least one companion to lay with. Curlear with Bluepaw, Applefang with Mothsong, Batear with Hawkfern, and Brownstone with Swanface and Goldenpaw. Who was Snowfrost supposed to be with now? No one. Perhaps this was a sign, a sign that she was better off alone. Regardless, as she slept, the guilt of what she'd done never left her, not even for a hearbeat.
For the first time in almost a moon, Snowfrost was given the chance to walk in dreams with Starclan again. Too excited to care about anything else now, she ran across the starry field to speak with her old mentor, Softpetal, who was standing only a couple fox lengths away. But she ran too fast, and instead of crashing into the Starclan cat as she thought she would, Snowfrost completely phased through her. She turned around to apologize to her old friend, but no words managed to escape into the open. Confused, Snowfrost tried to grab her old mentor's attention. She tried to meow, but her noise was deafened. She waved a paw in front of the older cat's face, but Softpetal hardly even blinked. She even tried swatting her with her tail, like she did when waking her up as an apprentice. But nothing worked. It was as if Snowfrost wasn't even there at all. But someone else was.
Goldenpaw appeared before Softpetal and began to sob, her noise echoing in the empty space of the star laden meadow. She stepped forward and buried her nose into the Starclan cat's chest, her cries muffled by soft, silver spotted fur. The old she-cat nuzzled her and comforted her as she wept. Snowfrost suddenly felt rage wash over her. Why wasn't Softpetal able to see her.
The unexpected sound of mewling below caught Snowfrost's attention, snapping her out of her rage. She glanced down at her paws to see four tiny stars-almost shaped like kittens- sitting in front of her. The starry shapes bounced and weaved around her legs for a moment before walking into her and disappearing. At the same instance, a warmth pooled inside of her belly. Snowfrost sat down, brushing her tail over the area. It didn't take long for to realize why she was unable to talk with her Starclan friends now.
"It's so unfair!" A voice yowled abruptly. Snowfrost looked up to stare at Goldenpaw who was still crying to Softpetal.
"I was supposed to become a medicine cat tonight! Snowfrost promised!" she blubbered. Softpetal nodded slowly in understanding.
"Do not fret, child. You will be named very soon. But you are already Grassclan's true medicine cat, even as a 'paw. You need to keep your chin up."
"What do you mean..?" Goldenpaw sniffled, looking at the spotted she cat with wonder. Softpetal rested her chin on the top of her head.
"You will know soon enough."
Just as the words had been spoken, the starry scenery around them began to fade away into a flash of white. All of the medicine cats woke up shortly after, sitting up to briefly speak to one another. As they exited the Moon Cavern, they meowed their drowsy goodbyes before going their seperate ways for another half moon, heading back to their home clans.