Journeying across the meadow, Snowfrost couldn't help but think about the dream. Softpetal's words still rang clear in her ears. You are already Grassclan's true medicine cat. She agreed with Goldenpaw's confusion, what was that supposed to mean? She knew the golden apprentice would make a good medicine cat one day, but she wasn't ready just yet. Or perhaps she was? Snowfrost knew she was unable to talk to Starclan now because of her kits. But had her ancestors already disowned her from the roll to the point where they were willing to recognize an apprentice as the new medicine cat? Maybe it was for the best. Though there wasn't anything special about her skills, Goldenpaw was still a good healer. She dedicated every heartbeat of her life to the job and to taking care of the clan. Snowfrost could never say the same about herself. But she knew that Grassclan would be in good paws one day when she was no longer with them. Which may come sooner than expected. For the past half moon, Snowfrost had been thinking about her situation and how she should handle it. After careful consideration she realized the only way that her kits would be safe would be to follow Wolfheart's advice. It was a painful choice to make, but the pain subsided slightly when she decided that wherever she would go, her kittens would stay with her. The only logical thing she could do was leave. It was clear that that must be Starclan's will as well.
Snowfrost gave it some time before she planned to leave the Land's Star. She wanted the clan to get use to their new medicine cat, and get use to not having her around. As she bided her time, Snowfrost forced herself to socialize with the clan's apprentices to pick up a few new hunting and fighting techniques. It could be important later, in case she would need them on her journey to Twolegplace. Wheatpaw, Oatpaw, and Barleypaw were all too eager to flaunt their knowledge. They were young, and easy to goad into showing off. It was the perfect way to learn the skills required, while also avoiding suspicion from her clanmates. Though, Snowfrost noticed some of the older apprentices weren't as easy to mingle with as their younger denmates. Gingerpaw seemed disinterested in showing off to anyone but his mentor, who happened to be Whitestar herself. While Wasppaw, Goldenpaw's brother, kept a distance from Snowfrost. He was probably just as bitter as his littermate was over Goldenpaw not gaining her name. The tom would purposely ignore the medicine cat in favor of giving his attention to a more "worthy" clanmate. No matter, I still learn what I need from the younger bunch.
By this point in time, the unborn lives inside of Snowfrost made their presence known. They'd wiggle roughly in protest whenever she'd overexert herself, or when she was hungry. She could feel them writher around whenever she was exhausted, as if willing her to sleep. She'd flinch every time they made a move, scared someone might notice her belly twitching like a half dead mouse and question her about it. If she could feel them moving, Snowfrost knew it wouldn't be long until cats began to notice how plump she was becoming. She was already beginning to get strange looks from the queens whenever they'd spot her outside by the fresh-kill pile, and comments from the apprentices that she smelled funny. She'd tried her best to make herself appear small, pressing herself close to the ground and hiding her belly behind her plumed tail. She tried to change her scent too, by rolling in lavander. It became clear to the lynx point molly that she could wait no longer. It was time to make the journey to her new home. Cautious, she made her way to the leader's den to alert Whitestar of her departure. With every pawstep she debated telling her clan leader the truth about why she was leaving, or creating a lie to protect her reputation. By the time she reached the mouth of the den she had made her choice.
"Whitestar?" She called, peering through the crack in Tall Stone. Inside the den she spotted the siamese she-cat laying in her nest. The clan leader beckoned the medicine cat inside with her tail, inviting her to sit.
"To what do I owe this visit, Snowfrost? Has Starclan spoken to you?" asked Whitestar calmly, wrapping her plumed tail around her paws neatly as she sat up.
"Yes they have, Whitestar," Snowfrost replied, lying through her teeth. "They say my connection to them is not as strong as it once was. That I have focused too much on my clanmates, rather than looking to the stars. Omens have been overlooked, and signs missed. They are displeased. So I have been requested to go on a spiritual journey, in order to reconnect with our ancestors. Though I will be gone for...an indefinite amount of time. But I trust that my apprentice will make a fine replacement as medicine cat in my absence." The two she-cats sat in silence for a few heartbeats. Whitestar stared at the lynx point she-cat trying to take in the information she had just given her. Her light blue eyes seemed to see right into Snowfrost's heart, and for a moment she was afraid that her leader didn't believe her.
"Very well. If that is Starclan's will, then so be it. I will have a patrol escort you to the border and see you off on your journey when you are ready to depart." Whitestar replied with a wave of a front paw.
Relief flooded through Snowfrost like water slipping through rock cracks. She stood up and bowed her head respectfully to the Grassclan leader before heading back to her own den. There, she made herself a package of traveling herbs, filled with the basics of burnet, chamomile, daisy leaf, and sorrel. She slathered some left over honey onto the bundle to make it easier to gulp down. She shivered as the herbs' bitter taste still managed to assault her taste buds. Her unborn kits seemed to writher too, making their mother force herself to keep the concoction down as they kicked at her flanks in protest. After another couple heartbeats struggling, they all relaxed. Snowfrost heaved a sigh and turned to press her nose to her side to reassure her unborn brood, before leaving the medicine den for the last time. When she stepped into the clearing, two she-cats approached her. The most easily recognisable for Snowfrost out of the pair was Jaybird, her sister. Next to her stood Ambereye, her mate.
"Whitestar asked us to walk you to the border," meowed the golden she-cat while Jaybird nodded in agreement. Snowfrost dipped her head to the two mollies gratefully.
"I'm ready."
Together the three she-cats made their way out of camp, down the hill, and across the meadow. The grass had begun to dull in color recently; wilted plants decorated the land, some still clinging to seed fluff and pods. A chilly breeze ruffled the she-cats' pelts, stirring up leaves and debris around their paws as they pressed onward. The seasons were preparing to change, and already it was growing ever colder. By the look of things, there would be an early Leafbare this year. Snowfrost found it difficult to keep up with her clanmates the further out they walked. Jaybird seemed to take notice and fell behind to keep the same pace as her sister.
"I know you're going through something," she whispered, keeping her eyes ahead. Snowfrost felt her blood run cold.
"Is that so?" she asked calmly, trying to keep her voice from trembling. Jaybird glanced over at the lynx point molly, giving her a knowing look.
"I know my sister. And I have experience. It's not too hard to figure out what's been going on," Jaybird simply stated. "I just wish you would talk to me more. I could help you."
Snowfrost huffed, glancing away. Deep down she was nervous; any help she could get would be a blessing. But the lynx point molly couldn't bring herself to admit it.
"There is no way you could. I have made this mistake, and I must face the consequences. The only ones who can help now are Starclan," she meowed, sounding indignant without meaning to. Jaybird moved closer, leaning her shoulder against her sister's sympathetically. The warmth from her body was so comforting. Snowfrost briefly reminisced about her kithood; how close they used to be. Everything changed when Snowfrost was made the medicine cat's apprentice. She had all but forgotten about her silver tabby littermate throughout her training, and yet Jaybird still cared for her as if they had been inseparable for seasons. Sadness twisted her heart and Snowfrost felt her kits quiver with empathy. The moment of thought was broken suddenly by Ambereye trying to make conversation.
"Hey if you see any rouge toms lookin to help a molly out, or any rouge queens on your way home, could you scoop up a kit or two for us? Jaybird and I want to raise another litter." Snowfrost twitched her whiskers in annoyance.
"I'll see what I can do," she responded flatly, trying to keep herself from growling. Ambereye was a good cat and a great warrior, but not one of the lynx point she-cat's favorite clanmates.
Snowfrost felt her kits trembling inside her as she stood on the border with her escorts. Calm down my little ones, we are going someplace where we will be safe. Don't be scared. She glanced back at Ambereye then turned to Jaybird. She tucked her head under the silver tabby she-cat's chin, nuzzling her.
"I'll miss you," Jaybird whispered. She purred sadly, licking Snowfrost's ears. "I will always be here for you, Snow. If you come back I'll do whatever I can to help. For now...just take care of yourself."
"I will." Snowfrost pulled back to stare at her sister, ice blue eyes meeting darker blue. She waved a last goodbye with her tail as she turned and began to pad off alone, away from the border and into unclaimed territory. But I'm not alone, she reminded herself with a soft smile.
"May the winds be on your side!" the mates caterwauled to Snowfrost right before she disappeared from sight.
ooo
Snowfrost wanted to run and get to Twolegplace before it grew dark, but with her belly so heavy with kits she could do no such thing. She padded the rest of the way across half grassy, half forested area. The long shadows casted by the trees as the sun began to set made Snowfrost feel uneasy. This place was completely unfamiliar to her, and though she knew Twolegplace wasn't too far, she knew she couldn't go on any longer today.
Instead, she decided to catch something to eat and then find shelter for the night. She kept walking, tasting the air for scents of prey. Nearby she caught two tempting smells, one of squirrel and one of rabbit. She knew there was no way she'd ever be able to catch a rabbit on her own, and the squirrel was closer anyways. The pregnant molly dropped into a crouch, slowly approaching the fuzzy grey-brown creature. In a flash she lunged forward in a hot pursuit of her target. She managed to pounce on the squirrel then grabbed it by the neck, snapping it between her teeth. Satisfied, she dragged her fresh-kill with her to a nearby tree. The tree's roots were slightly uplifted, creating a perfect little den underneath fit for one. She squeezed herself inside, dragging the squirrel in with her. She delicately tore at its fur with her teeth and claws, placing it around her belly to help keep herself and her unborn kits warm. With her prey all bare, she dug into its meaty flesh. Squirrel was a rare treat; this catch would have been one to be praised back home. But Snowfrost knew that Grassclan wasn't home anymore, Twolegplace was.