EDIT: IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER, I TITLED IT 'CHAPTER FIVE'. MY MISTAKE! IT WAS CHAPTER FOUR. THE ONE YOU ARE READING NOW IS CHAPTER FIVE.
Chapter...-drumroll-...SIX!
(Swordmaster Talek reappears from the LDP spoof)
Talek: o.O... Six?
Me: Yeah. Six.
Talek: ...
Me: What is it?
Talek: It's chapter five.
Me: Right, chapter five. What did I say?
Talek: Six.
Me: Really? Nah...
Talek: Yeah, really.
Me: Please, I'm not THAT stupid.
Talek: -cough-
Me: Are you sick?
Tormund: -throws a brick at me-
Chapter FIVE (for real)
Last but not least, Anshu is telling his side of the story. HOORAH.
Anshu: Here's what happened, as I recall it...
-silence-
Me: Hoban, not this again...
Hoban: I'm NOT repeating myself again.
Me: Please?
Hoban: No.
Me: For a cookie?
Hoban: No...
Me: How about some pocky?
Hoban: No.
Me: Cake, then?
Hoban: Hmmm...What kind of cake?
Me: Pineapple upside-down?
Hoban: Make it a carrot cake...
Me: DEAL!
Hoban: -clears throat- Yeah, let's see you laugh when I sail you into a storm! -shakes fist-
Linae: -pimp smacks him-
Hoban: WTF? Was that in the script?
Linae: What script? -crotch kick-
Hoban: O.O! -falls over in pain- There go my future kids!
Linae: -flips hair- Humph, you'd never get laid anyway. -prances off, giggling girlishly-
We then settled in and ate our dinner...
After finishing the meal, Linae pulled me aside. She had a medical issue she wanted to discuss, so we lingered in the cabin for a bit. You understand that, due to my doctor-patient confidentiality, I'm not at liberty to discuss our conversation...
Me: It's alright, I'm pretty sure I already know...
Linae: -fart-
Let's see... I then went for a brief walk on deck. I try to find time for a stroll after dinner each night; it helps me to keep from feeling drowsy after a hearty meal.
Me: -nods boredly- Uh huh...
Are you bored?
Me: Huh? Wha-no! Of COURSE not:D
Alright then...
Me: So, right before the storm started... is there anything you want to tell me about?
No, not that I can think of...
Linae: -fart- o.o
Me: An argument you got into with Hoban, perhaps?
Ah, yes! You're correct. We did have a bit of a disagreement.
Me: Would you mind explaining what happened?
Well, he said his hat was very stylish, but I had to disagree...
Hoban: Say it's better than Captain Tuan's! Say it!
Anshu: NEVER!
Hoban: SAY IT, OLD MAN!
Anshu: I'LL NEVER SAY YOUR HAT IS STYLISH!
Hoban: Yes you will!
Anshu: It's an ugly elf hat! There! I admit it!
Hoban: -shock- :O!
Anshu: -crosses arms-
Hoban: Oh, you're goin' DOWN, old man!
Anshu: Bring it on, you young punk!
Me (not really listening): -stares off into space blankly-
Am I boring you? Honestly? You haven't said anything in a while...
Me: Wha?
Am I boring you...
Me: You have a long beard...
Yes, I know...but getting back to the story--
Me: Can I tug on it?
-sigh- Maybe after I'm done--
Me: No, nooow... D:
Fine...
Me: YAY! -beard tug-
o.o...done?
Me: Hang on...-beard tug-...okay. I'm done. :)
-sigh- Good. Anyway, we were about to open cans o' whoop-ass, but then...
"ALL HANDS ON DECK! WE'VE NOT A MOMENT TO LOSE!"
Hoban: -glare- We'll settle this later, old-timer...
Anshu: Your mother!
Upon receiving instructions from the captain, we hurried to carry out our assignments. I was told to head below deck and fix a leak... An hour later, I--
Me: It took you an hour to fix the leak?
-shifty eyes- As I was saying... I heard yelling. Thinking there'd been an injury, I went up on deck, only to find Hoban arguing with someone. I couldn't make out who it was, I'm afraid.
Me: Did you see Hoban at any other time?
As a matter of fact, I saw him again at 5:00. He was having yet another argument, on the aft deck. I asked Bonju if he knew what the navigator was getting so worked up about, but he told me he had no idea.
Me: Alright, I think that about does it. Thanks for your time.
You're welcome.
Me: ...
Why are you still here?
Me: -grins-
-sigh- FINE! BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME.
Me: YES! -tugs on his beard and runs off-
End. o.o