FINAL CHAPTER

(And the award for shortest plot ever goes to...)

Me: -reading plot-

Swordmaster Talek: OH MAI GAWSH. THEY FOUND HOBAN! -fangirl scream-

Me: What. The. HELL! Why didn't he die? Can't TNT kill off just ONE CHARACTER ONCE? JUST ONCE?

Adam: No, 'cos we're just dicks like that. Plus we're too big of pansies to do anything violent.

Donna: -skips by in a pink tutu while throwing pretty flowers everywhere- LIKE, OHMIGOSH, YEAH! THERE SHOULD BE LOVE, NOT DEATH!

Tormund: -throws brick at her-

Chapter SIX

Hoban's the narrator now... -emo sigh-

It's time you learned what REALLY happened...

Hoban: -stupid pose- Yeah, let's see you laugh when I sail you into a storm!

Tormund: -throws brick-

Swordmaster Talek: He has...blue hair. Blue.

Hoban: Blue is the new black. Didn't you know?

Talek: No. Is that hereditary? o.o

Hoban: Yup.

Talek: YOU LIE.

Hoban: Nu-uh! D:

Me: D.D... Can we get back to the spoof?

Hoban: Am I getting paid for this?

Me: No.

Hoban: IT'S A DEAL THEN.

Rather than stay and put up with their insults, I went to get some work done.

(Talek interrupts to pet Hoban's hair) Talek: O.O -stroke-... -stroke-

Tormund: -hefts brick-

Talek: Meep! -hides-

After a while, I went up on deck to check the horizon. Anshu interrupted me, though, to ask about stopping at Krawk Island. I told him we couldn't, but he wouldn't listen.

Anshu: -puts fingers in ear- LA LA LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU. NYAH.

Hoban: ...-punches him- -runs-

He was getting pretty upset, but-

"ALL HANDS ON DECK! WE'VE NOT A MOMENT TO LOSE!"

By about one o'clock, the storm had really picked up. I was helping Captain Tuan sail us safely through. Linae then needed some help, so the captain sent me to her. Linae instantly started in with some nonsense about how I'd jinxed the ship. She even said the storm was my fault!

Linae: It was.

Hoban: WAS NOT!

Linae: Yes it was. -sticks tongue out-

Hoban: NO IT WAS NOT! -pouts-

She annoyed the hell out of me, but I just stuck to the work and tried to ignore her...

Linae: WET WILLIE. -licks finger and sticks it in Hoban's ear- Mwahahaha!

Hoban: GAAAH!

...it was no easy task.

After an hour, I was still upset. I found Kentari at the starboard railing, but he seemed too distracted to pay any attention to me, so I moved on.

Kentari: Are...are you touching my crotch in that panel?

Me: LMAO. It sure looks like it, doesn't it? (No, seriously, go look at it. Chapter six, last panel on the first page.)

Hoban: Uh... -inches away-

At four, I saw Anshu again. I felt like talking to someone about what Linae had said, but he was still bitter about our earlier disagreement.

Anshu: And your hat is NOT stylish!

Hoban: YES, IT, IS!

I decided to steer clear of the topic. When I ran into Linae an hour later, I still felt annoyed by what she'd said--

Me: Damn. Short temper much?

Hoban: I blame not being loved enough as a child. D':

I told her so, and that led to another huge argument.

Linae: NIGGA!

Hoban: HO!

Linae: MOFO!

Hoban: SKANK!

It felt good getting some of that off my chest, but I was still pretty mad.

Around six, I was walking past the cargo crates when I heard Bonju muttering something about how I hadn't finished the "glorious meal" he'd toiled hours to prepare.

"Are you kidding?" I shouted back. "That food was AWFUL! You're lucky I'm the only one who walked out!" Well, THAT made him lost it completely.

Bonju: BONJU MAD! BONJU SMASH!

Hoban: Oh, shit...

BONJU GET MAD AT HOBAN. BONJU THROW HOBAN OVERBOARD. HOBAN SCREAM LIKE LITTLE GIRL.

Hoban: Hey! I did not! D:

And why are YOU narrating? This chapter is supposed to be about ME.

-GROWL-

Hoban: Eep! -jumps overboard-

Hoban: I was stranded at sea for weeks; thankfully, one of the crates that also went over had plenty of food in it... things could have been MUCH worse!

Swordmaster Talek: Omg...does Hoban have a five o'clock shadow in that panel?

Me: HAHAHAHA! He does! Hoban, you look too young to grow a beard!

Hoban: How old did you think I am?

Me: I dunno. 18, 19, 21 maybe? 24 at the oldest.

Hoban: -darting eyes- Right, let's go with 21...

I'd just about lost hope, when I spotted the Gaze on the horizon! It turns out that the currents had brought me back to almost exactly the place where I'd fallen off.

Me: Why was the Gaze back in that place though? Shouldn't they have been looking for you somewhere else? o.o

Captain Tuan: Right, about that... -sneaks off-

Me: So Bonju, what do you have to say for yourself?

Bonju: If only you knew how proud I was of that dinner... I'd worked for hours getting everything just right, and at last, I'd created what I felt was perhaps my greatest work as a chef.

Orrin: -wipes away a tear- That was...beautiful!

Captain Tuan: Well, that's... nice, but it's still no excuse for shoving him overboard.

Bonju: I suppose you're right. Hoban, I'm really sorry about what happened. Whaddya say... no hard feelings?

Hoban: You're kidding, right?

Bonju: Er, no...

Hoban: I'll forgive you if you say my hat is stylish.

Bonju: ...NEVER! -runs away-

Captain Tuan: Rest assured, Hoban. Bonju's actions will not go unpunished.

Tormund: -hefts bricks- -grins maliciously-

Bonju: O.O -wets pants-

Captain Tuan: Now that our crew has been restored, it's time to make a return voyage home. To show how much I appreciate all your help, I've decided to invite you to join us as we return to out homeland of Shenkuu.

Me: Wow... THANKS!

Captain Tuan: Was that sarcasm?

Me: Yes.

Captain Tuan: Oh, and don't worry... since Bonju's going to spend the entire trip locked in our storeroom being bricked and stoned by Tormund--

Tormund: ...:D

Captain Tuan: --you need not fear being "accidentally" pushed overboard.

Me: I can't WAIT to reach Shenkuu! I bet it's incredible.

Captain: More sarcasm?

Me: Yup.

Linae: ...-fart-

THE END.

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