A/N: I admit it. The bunny for this chapter was just too tempting, and I gave in. :) Many thanks to Snapeswidow for helping Dem sound Demetrish. We're going to get back on track soon. Before you read, please do note that I do bring up a brief mention of substance abuse in terms of potions, which I will delve more into the next chapter. As always, thanks for your continued support and enjoy the long chapter.
Into the Fire
At hearing a soft noise beside him the next morning, Severus slowly roused himself from his groggy, head-pounding sleep. Fingers across his chest woke him fully with a start a moment later. There shouldn't have been any fingers touching him. He sat up with his eyes widening. Oh shit! He swallowed his gasping breath.
He could feel the cool air around his midsection and the satin bedsheets against his lower half. Aurora. He hadn't meant . . . no. No this wasn't how it was supposed to be this time. Slow. He was going to take it slow. He turned to his companion, falling backwards off the bed when he saw blue eyes instead of warm brown. That was most definitely not Aurora!
"Morning," Demetri Le Fay said with a nervous giggle, tugging the sheet tighter around herself as he fell off the side of her bed.
"What did you do?" He then glanced around the room, finding that only he and Demetri were in the room alone, and that they were naked. "What . . . no . . ." No, this could not be happening. He turned back to her, looking half-horrified and half-enraged. He then groaned loudly, grabbing his pounding head as it increased in its intensity. He had screwed up royally this time. There was no denying that.
"What did I do! Last time I checked it took two to—well, there could be more than two, but . . ." She stopped suddenly as the room spun and her stomach rolled. She leaned over and opened the drawer to the nightstand that she had originally tried to reach, finding it easier with him on the floor and pulling out two hangover potions. She drank one and held the other out to him.
He glanced at the offered bottle she held out, but made no intention of grabbing it. He didn't want to feel better. He wanted to suffer for his stupidity yet again. How could he do something so foolish, so stupid, so Potter-like? Hadn't he learned his lesson yet? Apparently not, it seemed.
"Seems you got your way, didn't you?" he stated coldly, settling on his usual tactics again. After all, if he pushed everyone away, he'd not feel so crappy. It had worked brilliantly over the years before. "You finally got to live out your fantasies. Well, congratulations, Le Fay." He slow-clapped.
"Yes, Severus, I'm fucking ecstatic," Demetri snarled. How dare he throw all the blame back on her! The stupid git! "You see, this was my plan all along. I knew there was no way you'd want me, so I got you shit-faced drunk, lured you here, and had my way with you!" When she saw his self-satisfied look, she threw the hangover potion he hadn't taken then, and it shattered against the wall. How dare he blame her solely for this! She hadn't wanted this! Maybe a small part of her, but she wasn't the horrible monster he was making her out to be right then. She almost shaking now from how livid she was with him. "Because who cares if I hurt my friends, right? After all, I'm a Le Fay, so it's only natural that I'm an evil bitch, right?"
"If the shoe fits," he snarled back, glaring at her. It was easy to hold onto his anger, to ignore the pain he felt. If he remained angry like this, he'd not feel the underlying wounds to his heart, the betrayal.
Bunching the sheet even tighter around herself, Demetri flew up off the bed and slapped him so hard that her hand had felt like she had broken it. "Screw you! You know what? I'm glad Aurora hasn't acted on her feelings for you!" Her eyes flashed angrily. "You don't deserve her, you son of a bitch!"
His own eyes flashed now, and his jaw clenched. It was taking everything in him not to say what he really wanted to say back to her right then. She had ruined everything. Everything he had spent so hard working on. As it was, though, he scoffed a moment later and shook his head as he redressed. He needed to get out of there. To find Aurora. Or on second thought, he wouldn't find her quite yet. At least not until he had a better handle on himself, lest he ruin things even more with her. However, he couldn't just not respond to Demetri's words, though.
"You're not worth a single word spoken from my lips, Le Fey. Not after this stunt of yours." He tugged up his trousers, fastening them. "I hope that this was worth it for you and wish you all the best in your pathetic, worthless life. Truly all the best," he spat, glaring at her. "Because once again, a Le Fay woman lived up to her legacy: a pathetic hag that will always be alone."
"I'd rather be alone than be with someone like you," Demetri yelled back. "You call me pathetic when you should be taking a long, hard look in the mirror. After all, I didn't fuck up my life so bad that I had to go back in time to fix it like you." She wanted to make him hurt as much as she did right then. "You couldn't stand the fact that you were so pathetic that you had to follow a madman to feel important. And you know what? I don't have blood on my hands or bodies on my conscience either. Which can't be said the same for you, can it, Severus?" She scoffed when he clenched his jaw even tighter. "You claim to have this darkness in you. Well, now, how do I know this wasn't your plan all along?" she threw back at him. "Wait till we are all drunk off our asses and use my fantasy of being with you against me. All so you can have Aurora all to yourself. I mean, let's face it. You know she'll never forgive me if she thinks this is my doing."
He laughed angrily. "Yes, because I definitely thought sleeping with you of all people would be a brilliant idea. How stupid are you? Do you honestly believe that she'd forgive me for this? That all would be perfect for us after this? If so, then you clearly don't know her at all. Or know anything about love for that matter."
"You're one to talk about knowing what love is," Demetri snapped. "I mean, let's be honest. Shall we? You don't love Aurora. You're obsessed with her. And from what I've gathered from your mother, she's not exactly the first woman you obsessed over and drove away. Is she?"
"Pathetic."
"Again, that is the pot calling the cauldron black."
He scoffed. "Enjoy your sad, lonely life. That is if you don't end up dead in the gutter first."
"Better to be dead in the gutter from drinking myself to death than at the hands of a misguided sycophant." At the sight of his eyeroll, she added, "Yeah, well, at least I can show off my tattoo without being ashamed of why I got it, Severus, unlike you!"
"You have an answer for everything, don't you?"
"Maybe I do or maybe I'm just talking to keep from hexing you, which I should have done the minute you opened your mouth and put the blame for all this solely on me."
"You have no idea who you are talking with. It's laughable that you think you could hex me."
"Oh, that's right. You're the Master of Death." She rolled her eyes. "I'm terrified."
Within a flash, he flicked his wrist, sending a wandless, nonverbal at hex at her. He wouldn't stand by and be attacked like that. And by her of all people!
Demetri blinked in surprise at his unexpected hex. Instinct had her cast a shield to block his hex, the spell making her stumble back as it collided with her shield. When she had managed to block his spell successfully, she wordlessly summoned her wand and sent a non-verbal stunner at the bastard in return. How dare he throw a hex at her!
Severus effortlessly waved her stunner away, though, as if it was nothing but a mere annoyance. "Is that all you have?" He scoffed. "Weak just like you."
She dropped her shield then and flicked her wand, sending a blinding hex at him before immediately sending a Bombarda with her non-wand hand. She'd show him who was weak!
He waved away her first hex and moved to send one of his spells at her. He'd end her like the annoying, pathetic twit she was! Only something wrapped itself around his feet, throwing him off balance as he took a step forward.
Demetri swore as her Bombarda hit the wall, missing him and sending wood and plaster flying around the room as a result. Her wand returned to him as he remained sprawled on his back on the floor, anticipating another hex from him. "Master of Death foiled by a bra of all things," she remarked snidely.
He clenched his jaw tightly. Unfortunately, she had been right, though. He had tripped on a stupid bra. He snatched ahold of it, tossing the offending lacy object at her. "Go put some clothes on."
She sidestepped the flying garment, though, and bent over him. "You don't get to tell me what to do in my own home." She gripped her wand tightly, itching to hex him good now that he wasn't hexing back. She wouldn't stoop that low, though.
He scoffed, pushing her away from him as he stood up again. "Unlike your fantasy, I won't be making your breakfast. Enjoy the rest of your damn day." He headed for the door. He needed to get out of there before he truly lost it on her.
"I'm sure you're smart enough to find the door on your own. Don't let it hit you on the way out," she stated coldly as she walked over to her dresser, pulling out random clothes before going into the bathroom and slamming the door behind her.
"Oh, I will," he yelled out to her.
"That made no sense, you moron," Demetri muttered as she angrily pulled on her clothes. Stupid git who thought so highly of himself. As if she wanted this to happen! Had wanted to jeopardize her friendship with them both? Wanted to ruin everything? Her eyes narrowed when she realized she hadn't heard the door slam. What the hell was he doing out there anyway?
She looked at her reflection in the mirror, hating what she saw.
SLAM!
"Fuck!" Demetri screamed before she stormed back into the now empty bedroom. Fuck it all to hell and back! Snatching the pillows and sheets from her bed, she brought all of it back into the bathroom and chucked them into the tub. A flick of her wand a moment later, and the objects burst into flames, incinerated beyond all belief. Sliding down the wall, the young witch watched the flames and cursed herself for fucking up her friendships with Aurora and Severus because of a damned crush.
The minute he felt the familiar wards around him, the young twenty-two-year-old balled up and tossed his outer robes as hard as he could against the wall in his bedroom at Ashmore Manor. He was angry, angrier than he had been in a very long time actually. Vaguely, he heard something crash and shatter not long after tossing his robes, but he had moved on to kicking off his heavy boots.
Yet again, he had screwed up royally. Something he was very good at obviously. The Fates likely were having a laugh up there in fact over his misfortune. They had to be. Every single person he had ever encountered had done so at some point or another after all. Severus the dunderhead. Severus the coward. Severus the screw-up.
Just once he'd like things not to get so screwed up, so twisted, so—
"FUCK!" he yelled, his boot sailing through the air after he kicked it. The pain centered him for a moment, but his anger quickly returned with a vengeance. Just once . . . that was all . . . just once.
"You call me pathetic when you should be taking a long, hard look in the mirror," Demetri's voice floated around the room as he recalled her earlier words.
His fist curled even tighter into a ball, his nails digging into his palm and drawing blood.
"You don't love Aurora. You're obsessed with her. And from what I've gathered from your mother, she's not exactly the first woman you obsessed over and drove away. Is she?"
Every bit of self-restraint he had vanished at his ghostly tormentor's words. His fist slammed hard against the nearby wall, the plaster easily breaking way and sending his hand through it. He hissed angrily at the pain that shot through his hand and up his arm in to his elbow.
What the hell did she know anyway? Not a damn thing clearly! Obsessed? Him? How ridiculous. He wasn't obsessed with Aurora. He cared for her. That was it. But, of course, Demetri, Miss Know-It-All herself, took his feelings and warped them, claiming it was all obsession and not love. He wouldn't put it past that witch that she was trying to sway him to her. Actually, she wasn't trying at all to sway him. No, it was quite clear that she was intentionally sabotaging his relationship with Aurora. Demetri, after all, was the one who had suggested they drink, not him. Not Aurora. Her! She had wanted this to happen. No matter how much she denied otherwise, he knew the truth. She was to blame, not him!
"What in the blazes is going on in here?" his father demanded as he burst into Severus's room several moments later. When Severus didn't answer, Tobias's blue eyes darted from him to the fist-shaped hole in the wall. "Christ, son. What'd the wall ever do to you?" Tobias then reached towards him. "Let's get that bandaged up, yeah?"
"I'm fine," Severus grumbled with a deep frown. He didn't need his father's sympathy. He didn't need anyone's sympathy. Sympathy didn't fix things.
"Bullshit! Ya ain't anywhere close to fine." Tobias motioned towards the wall to emphasize that.
The young wizard scoffed at his father before he pushed the nightstand over with another scream of sheer frustration. It didn't help, though, so he grabbed items and chucked them as hard as he could against the wall. The sound of glass shattering was cause for celebration for him. He just wanted all of it to burn, burn in hell. Burn in hell like him.
"Throwin' a tantrum like this, son, isn't gonna fix things! So, knock it the hell off!" his dad shouted at him, moving to grab his arm when Severus went to throw another object.
"Get off me!"
"Not until ya calm down! Christ, son, ya actin' like the world's fallin' apart."
"Well, maybe it fucking is, Dad!" Severus snarled back, shaking the man off him.
"What happened?"
"Does it matter? I screwed up. Again! Like always! Your son, the brilliant screw-up."
Not having any more of Severus's words, Tobias yanked his son into a brutal hug, his arms wrapping tightly around the angry young man and forcing Severus's arms to be pinned against his father's chest.
"Let me go! Let go! Let—"
"You ain't a screw up, Severus, so get that shit out of yer head this minute."
"You . . . you don't know," he choked out through his gasping breaths.
"Know what?"
Severus could start to feel himself tremble in his dad's embrace. The anger was quickly dissipating, being replaced with sadness, fear, and guilt. No. No he needed to hold onto his anger. To not feel anything but his rage. He had to . . .
"Nothin' ya could have done, Severus, isn't fixable."
"You don't know that." His father couldn't know how his luck ran. The man had only been around for a year in fact.
"Is this about your lady friend?"
"Aurora. Her name is Aurora, Dad!" He caught Tobias's instant slight dip of his head then and inhaled deeply. His anger was almost gone, and he could feel that his dad had lessened his hold on him somewhat. "I screwed up. Again. There's nothing more to say than that. I screwed up."
"How? What happened?"
"I . . ." The young man scoffed as his voice went out. "Never mind. You wouldn't understand."
"I wouldn't understand?" Tobias shook his head, releasing him and taking a step back. "All right. Fine. We can play that game. Tell me if I'm close, yeah?" His dad's blue eyes narrowed like a hawk's.
Play what game? He didn't understand what his dad was going on about. He had screwed up. That was the short of it. There was nothing more to say. He had screwed up, and there was no way his father who had likely never done anything as horrible as this could understand.
"Ya smell like ya took a bath in a still," Tobias declared. "Ya got what I guess is a bite mark to yer neck. Ya also got the whole 'The sky is falling, and I'm Chicken Little.' So, deducing all that together, ya got shit-faced last night at dinner and ended up in someone's bed. How'd I do?"
Severus stared at his father.
"Course, ya know, I wouldn't understand any of that crap, being a recovering alcoholic and all. So, what the hell do I know, yeah?"
He didn't like how his father was just passing it off as if it was nothing. It wasn't nothing. He had screwed up his chance with Aurora. She wouldn't forgive him. She'd do what everyone else did in his life and abandon him. This would be the last straw that put the nail in his coffin.
"It wasn't yer lass, I take it?" Tobias asked quietly.
Severus closed his eyes, turning away.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, if the lass is worth a damn thing like ya claim she is, she'll forgive ya. Might be wantin' to kill ya first, but eventually she'll forgive ya."
"You don't know that."
"Nor do you," his dad replied bluntly.
Frowning, the young man sighed heavily. His dad was right. He didn't know her enough to know how she'd react exactly. And it wasn't like they were together anyway. They had only shared a kiss or two. That was it. It was hardly a declaration of a relationship after all. Well, for him it was at least. But what did he know about relationships anyway? Nothing really. In fact, Demetri had been right. His last one had been nothing more than obsession, one-sided as that. And if he really thought on it, he knew that he was no better than a stalker really with Evans.
"I know ya don't want to hear this, son, but, well, shit happens. Ya best own up to it now before she finds out from someone else. I ain't sayin' it'll be a walk in the park, though, cause it won't, but it takes a certain kind of man to own up to that."
"Yeah, a bastard, git, greaseball, cocksucker, son of a bitch . . ." The list went on.
"Maybe, but ya know, bitchin' to me ain't gonna help ya with this problem."
"You don't know that." He glanced at his dad when he heard his dad's chuckles.
"Ah, shit, son. It's times like this where I just have to laugh. Not at ya, but . . ." His dad sighed a moment later. "Ya can keep breakin' shit till there ain't nothing left, but it ain't gonna help. Trust me. Because yer mind, genius level it is, is just gonna drive ya mad with all the possibilities—some of them farfetched, some not. So, my advice is, ya stop sulking like this teenage brat, and ya go talk to her. Talk, Severus. Not yell. Talk to her, and say 'I fucked up, and I'm sorry. But it ain't gonna happen again, cause I'm gonna get this drinkin' under control. Cause you deserve better, lass. And I'm gonna give ya the world.' Or, ya know, some such shit like that."
The young man stared at him for several moments.
"What? Did I say somethin' wrong, son?"
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?" Tobias seemed genuinely confused by Severus's question.
"How do you make that look so easy?"
"What? The romance crap?" Tobias shrugged. "It's a gift. And if ya weren't so wrapped up in yer head all the time, ya could do it too. I'm sure of it."
"You're wrong. I . . . I can't do that. I can't get anywhere close that. I try and it all comes out—I don't know—gibberish, I guess."
"It's cause yer stuck in yer head. Just, ya know, don't think. Do. Just not after drinkin', cause we Snape men are idiots when it comes to alcohol and women."
"Did you—"
"Oh, Christ no! Yer mum would have roasted my balls or at the very least hung them from a rafter or two. I never cheated on her. Not once. Didn't even cross my mind actually. I love her more than everything in the world."
Severus's head hung lower, as he felt worse.
"That doesn't mean, though, that I don't get what yer feelin', son. Cause I do. I can think of half-dozen things that I remember feelin' guilty for after a night of drinking, and the pit in my stomach when I'd have to tell yer mother that I screwed up again."
"She forgave you, though?"
"Sometimes yeah. Sometimes no. But it was always the times when I didn't own up to my mistakes, that upset her more than anything and would make her not forgive me."
"I care for Aurora, Dad."
"Yeah, I can see that," Tobias replied, motioning towards the semi-destroyed room. "If yer lass don't forgive ya, ya got yer mum and me and Harrison. All right?"
Severus closed his eyes.
"Just, well . . ."
He turned to his dad with a frown. "What?"
"Are ya sure ya shagged this other lass?"
"Am I sure I—of course I'm sure! We both were naked!"
"All right, but was there actual, you know . . .?" His dad made a crude gesture.
Severus stared at his father for several moments before he shook his head. "I don't remember it, the details or anything, if that's what you're asking. I just remember Aurora bringing us a shot of something and all of us drinking it. She was saying it was something that'd knock us on our arses, and she was right."
His dad's eyes narrowed sharply. "What color was it? The drink?"
"Um, reddish, I think. Why?"
His dad scratched his jaw for a moment before he shook his head. "I don't know of any red drinks. Green, blue, clear, amber, etc, I know." His dad then shrugged. "So, it could be that you just woke up naked with the lass, and nothing happened. It ain't unheard of after all. I once was so drunk that I ended up findin' myself on the floor of a pub's stockroom, not a bit of clothin' anywhere near me."
"But you were alone."
"Yeah, but if yer anything like me, son, ya only reach the point of being an idiot drunk that takes off his clothes, not one who gets randy and shagging anything in a skirt." Tobias shrugged. "And, well, I'd bet there's a spell to make sure if ya actually did anything."
"What?"
"Like—I don't know—Coitus Revelio or something."
Severus's mouth dropped before he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. He may not have been experienced when it came to sex, but he was fairly certain he was smart enough to recognize certain signs of a drunken one-night stand. After all, he was twenty-two-years-old.
"I'll be back."
"All right. Just remember, though, if she gets angry with ya, that doesn't necessarily mean she's writin' ya off. Just that she's hurt, so don't fly off the rails right away. Got it?"
Severus nodded slowly, feeling his heart start to race again. What if she didn't forgive him? He had cheated on her with her best friend of all people. Well, technically, they weren't together, but she loved him and he cared for her, so they may as well have been.
He didn't even know where Aurora would be, but he thought back to last night's conversation and recalled her talking about McGonagall. It was a place to start at least. He walked over to where he had kicked his boots and put them back on before holding a hand out and summoning his outer robes. At the sounds of the shards of glass tinkling to the floor, he grimaced.
"And when you get back after everything's good again, ya can clean up this pigsty of a room of yers," his dad remarked with a sly smirk. "We ain't running a hotel here after all."
"Yes, Dad," Severus replied before he Disapparated again.
Meanwhile, now standing in the Astronomy classroom, Demetri rearranged the telescopes for the hundredth time as she tried to figure out what the hell she was going to say to Aurora. There was no right way to say that she had slept with her best friend's soulmate.
After Severus had stormed out of her flat, Demetri had sat in the bathroom just staring at nothing as the night's events played over and over in her head. She shouldn't have kept up with the game she was playing to see how far she could push Severus, but it was funny at the time to get a reaction out of him. Her amusement just screwed up not only her friendship with the man, but also any chance he had with Aurora. She shouldn't have gotten the two of them as drunk as she had. It was stupid in hindsight. She had only kept giving him alcohol, so he'd loosen up around Aurora, not so Demetri could have her way with him as Severus claimed. His words kept creeping in to her mental chastisement even now. She couldn't help but start to believe what he had spat at her. She had ruined everything.
A brush against her leg startled her from her thoughts, and she dropped the telescope she had in her hand. The lens shattered as it hit the floor. "Goddamn it, Merlin!" she swore as her cat rubbed against her leg again. "Don't you have anything better to do than bother me right now?" The cat looked up at her and let out an innocent meow.
She sighed as she waved her wand to fix the broken lens and set the telescope back on a shelf before she picked up the cat. "You're lucky you're a cat and have no other worries in life besides eating and sleeping." The black cat nudged her chin as he purred, and she couldn't help but smile. "At least you're not mad at me for my stupidity."
She scratched behind Merlin's ear before she set him down on the desk. He immediately set off batting around a balled-up piece of parchment. She picked up a rolled-up scroll of parchment near him before the menace could crush it and put it in her pocket. She had come to the castle to write a letter resigning from her post, but she couldn't get up the courage to hand the letter to the Headmistress yet.
She had enjoyed this job. More than she had thought she would.
At an unexpected knock on the door, Demetri looked up. "It's open," she called out.
Slowly, the door opened and revealed Aurora who had stepped inside with a smile. She was wearing the same outfit as last night, just a bit more wrinkled. "I thought I saw light in here."
Demetri sighed heavily as her guilt returned with a vengeance. "I was rearranging some things."
Aurora nodded, her fingers tracing over one of the designs on a telescope. "I can understand that all things considered."
Demetri raised an eyebrow at her tone. "What do you mean?"
Snorting, Aurora looked at her. "Dem, come on. I acted like a jealous bitch last night. Severus is—that is—you're both adults. And I—well, I chose the mission over him."
"Sin, I'm not upset about you being late or even jealous last night." She couldn't be upset about that. Not with what had happened last night.
"Then what?"
"Have you spoken to Severus at all today?" Demetri asked as she straightened a pile of star charts on the desk, avoiding the other witch's gaze. She hated this.
"Oh, dear Circe, no!" Aurora laughed. "I pretty much bolted this morning. Actually, that's sort of why I came here. I sort of misplaced some things at your flat last night."
"What in the nine hells are you talking about?"
"You're going to make me say it, aren't you, Dem?"
"Yes, because I honestly have no idea what you're talking about."
"Fine. I left my bra behind when I left. It was dark and . . . well, yeah." She laughed again. "Not my proudest moment I admit, but I couldn't face him, knowing that arse would make some stupid remark and I'd punch him. Or worse."
Demetri snorted softly. "Well, I did punch him, but not for stupid remarks. Honestly, he really knows how to use your insecurities against you."
Aurora shrugged. "He's gone through hell his entire life. So, he's learned to always be on his defense and how to make the best offense end up destroying the defense." Her lips pursed briefly before she shrugged once more. "But it's over so no use crying over that spilled milk."
"That doesn't excuse him blaming me for what happened between the two of us and acting like I had it planned from the beginning," Demetri replied defensively.
"What?"
Demetri sighed. Once again, her mouth had gotten away from her. Closing her eyes, she thought for a moment on the best way to say it. There wasn't really a good way, though.
"We slept together last night, Severus and me," Demetri admitted quietly. "And this morning, he freaked out and said it was my fault." She sneaked a peek at her friend, but Aurora wasn't showing her emotions for once. "How I was just like Morgana and how I only did it to fulfill a warped fantasy." She tried to take a breath, and it caught in her throat. "How I don't deserve love and will die alone."
Aurora stared at her for a moment before she burst out laughing. "Dem, question for you?" she asked through loud laughs. "Did you happen to, I don't know, look at his neck or anything when you woke up? See a bite mark or something? I mean, as far as I know, you aren't a biter."
"Are you kidding me right now? I was too busy defending myself both verbally and from a few of his hexes to pay attention to his body, Aurora!"
How could she just stand there laughing like that? Was Aurora even listening to her? She had slept with the man Aurora loved! Yet there she was, acting like it wasn't a big deal. This was not the Aurora she knew. It wasn't anywhere close to her. In fact, the Aurora she knew would have hexed her out a window or worse.
"You didn't sleep with him, Dem," Aurora said, gently resting a hand on Demetri's arm. "Trust me. Now, he may have moved from the couch where we were after I left, but . . ."
Demetri narrowed her eyes at the other woman as she tried to process what Aurora had just said. She could vaguely remember three of them stumbling from the bar up the small flight of stairs to her flat, but the rest of last night after that was a blank. "You and Severus . . ."
"Yeah. Which is wrong considering."
Demetri's eyes flashed. Aurora was the one who had been with him? Not her? And she left both of them? She clenched her jaw. This entire time she had been so sure that she had ruined everything when she hadn't. And now, here Aurora was admitting that she had been the one to screw things up.
"No. What was wrong was you slinking off instead of facing him like a god-damned adult!" Demetri yelled, scaring Merlin who took off out the classroom door. "I spent all fucking morning trying to figure out how to tell you I fucked up and how sorry I was." She pulled the rolled-up parchment from her pocket and threw it on the desk. "I was ready to leave, to go back home."
Aurora glanced at the parchment briefly before she shook her head. "Dem, it's fine. Everything's good. There's no need to apologize. You didn't shag him. And if you did, who cares?" She patted Demetri's arm gently. "Minerva was saying that while you were here, short that it was, that you've done good work. Why would you leave now?"
Demetri shook her head, though. This entire conversation with Aurora was wrong, very wrong. Aurora had always worn her emotions on her sleeve. Yet the entire time she had been in this room she had barely shown anything but amusement. It was like everything was one big joke to her.
And leaving Severus after having drunken sex? That wasn't the Aurora she knew. She'd be embarrassed, regretful even, but she'd sure as hell as make sure he didn't wake up alone. She had always told Demetri during their time at university how she had hated that feeling afterwards. She wouldn't do that to him.
"What is wrong with you?"
"Nothing." Aurora forced a laugh, rolling her eyes. "Everything's fine."
Demetri slipped her wand in her hand, though. "No. You're not fine, Aurora." She had expected a reaction from her friend then, any kind of reaction, but Aurora only stood in front of her with no care in the world it seemed. As if it wasn't a big deal that Demetri had drawn her wand and pointed it at her.
"Oh, honestly, Dem. Everything's fine. Nothing's wrong."
"I don't believe you. You're acting strange. You were last night as well."
Aurora snorted. "You're seeing things. I'm not acting any differently. Everything's fine."
Demetri didn't believe the witch, but didn't want to hex her unprovoked either. She'd never hear the end of it from Severus. But something was clearly wrong with her. She just wasn't certain what it was. "No, it's not fine. Something is wrong with you."
"Why? Because I'm not all sunshine and rainbows about finally shagging Severus? I don't remember it, Dem, so—"
"None of us remember last night, Aurora."
"Exactly. Why make it weird then?"
"Make it weird? It's already passed weird! Severus thinks I'm some kind of man-stealing harlot because he can't remember shagging you. All he knows is he woke up in bed naked next to me."
"So?" Aurora shook her head. "You know the truth, Demetri. Who cares what he thinks? He's an arse after all."
"I care, Aurora." Demetri threw he hands up in the air. "We both said some pretty horrible things to each other this morning. So, forgive me, that I care that I lost a friend over something I didn't do, a friend who now believes the worst of me."
Aurora shrugged before she hopped up on Demetri's desk. "He'll get over it. Just like you will. And why do you even care? I mean, it's actually loads better for you not to. Easier that way not to care."
Demetri backed away from the desk, shaking her head. "I don't know what is wrong with you, Aurora, but I'm not going to stand here and listen to you make a joke out of this."
"Who's joking? I'm not. I'm only saying that you need to adopt a better attitude like I have. Otherwise, all you'll see is the bad stuff."
"Not caring if I hurt the ones I care for is a better attitude?" That was it. She was so done with this conversation. "Hanging around Morgana a bit too much, Aurora?" Demetri snidely replied.
"Hardly. It's just something I learned, Dem."
"Well, it's not something I wish to learn." Demetri shook her head. "I can't deal with you and whatever this is you've got going on. I now have to try and figure out how to tell Severus you were the one he slept with and try to salvage our friendship somehow." Demetri grabbed her bag and headed for the door.
"All right. Well, bye then."
Severus frowned when he reached the Headmistress's office. He could hear soft voices inside, recognizing by the tone of McGonagall's voice she didn't like what was being said. The voice then went silent. He waited a few more seconds before he knocked against the heavy oak door.
"Enter," McGonagall called out sharply from the other side.
He pushed open the door and stepped inside. His eyes narrowed briefly as he found that it was only the Headmistress in the room. The other person must have left through the Floo.
"Severus?" She immediately smiled pleasantly at him as he walked in while she closed one of the large windows in the office. "I wasn't aware you were here. Do you want anything? A cup of tea? A bit of scotch?" she asked with a soft laugh.
"No thank you."
She nodded, motioning to the empty chair across from her desk as she moved to sit down. "What can I do for you today?"
He clasped his hands tightly behind his back, as he remained standing. "Aurora—"
McGonagall's face fell instantly, and she let out a large sigh.
"I take it you've heard then," she declared, pinching her lips tightly together.
"Heard?" His eyes narrowed. "I'm afraid I don't follow, Headmistress."
"About her mother, Syra?" McGonagall replied with a sad shake of her head. "While I will freely admit that Syra and I never saw eye-to-eye on many things, I do regret hearing of her death. Such senselessness really. It was quite fortunate that her father was able to escape the attack, though."
His mouth dropped. Her mother had died?
"I've been trying to get her to see someone," McGonagall admitted, not paying much attention to him, "to deal with her trauma, but that girl is like her father, stubborn to the core."
He leaned forward, gripping the side of McGonagall's desk to keep from falling in shock.
"She keeps claiming that it hasn't affected her, but anyone with eyes can see it has. And Albus, oh that man, 'It'll help her move on, Minerva.' As if that man truly cared about anyone but himself. He used her grief to force her to do that stupid mission of his."
His knuckles whitened as he gripped her desk harder.
"She was already in a fragile state, and sending her on mission after mission like that, it was inhumane." McGonagall then glanced at him. "Severus? Are you all right?"
"What sort of missions?" he choked out, wondering if they were similar in nature to his that he used to do for the old man. If they were, then . . . He didn't even want to think about the damage that had done. He was still dealing with the damage from his time in Dumbledore's strings.
"I'm not certain on the particulars. He claimed at the time it was to help you. At least that was how she justified it to me when she declined the available Astronomy position." She sighed quietly. "When I heard she was with you, I thought it was over. That she'd finally take the time to heal. She always has been one to avoid that sort of thing. A bit like you, in fact," she said with a faint somber smile. "But it's clear it didn't have that effect."
If he had known that she was hurting . . .
"When did her mother die?"
"Over the summer. June, I believe. The cowards came out of nowhere, attacking in the middle of the night. Orin just barely managed to escape with his life. If it hadn't been for Declan, we'd have lost them both I'm afraid."
"Declan?"
Her eyes narrowed on him for a moment before she laughed quietly. "Ah, yes. I forget that you're not that close with her. Declan Fiori. He helped out at the manor with the horses. He and his family. He considers himself a big brother to her. He was just here a bit ago in fact, wanting to know if I had seen Aurora. He took his leave suddenly, though." She smiled faintly. "Likely after he smelled you and decided that he'd find her another way."
"Smelled me?"
"He's a vampire. Well, the whole clan over there was, except Aurora and Orin. Syra, I believe, was turned after she first started getting sick. I don't know for certain when it was. Orin didn't like to speak about her necessarily after it happened."
He nodded slowly. He had now learned more about Aurora and her family than he had in months. But he couldn't wrap his head around this attack. He'd have thought for sure the Prophet would have spoken about it at some point.
"Do you know where she is, Headmistress?" He caught her eyes. "I was hoping to speak with her about something."
"Well, she comes to visit her father sometimes at night I know, but when I spoke with her earlier, brief as it was, she said something about going to speak with Miss Le Fay."
It took every single bit of self-restraint to keep from reacting to her words. Aurora had gone to speak with Demetri? He was screwed, royally. That witch would turn everything around on him and say he was the one who had initiated, had wanted it when it couldn't be further from the truth. Demetri was a friend, and that was all she'd ever be to him. That was before her little stunt last night.
"I see." He dipped his head forward. "If you'll excuse me."
"Of course." She stood again. "Forgive me for asking this, Severus, but now that your family is safe, have you given any thought to returning? Hogwarts does miss you." She then met his eyes. "I myself miss your sarcasm somedays."
He blinked at her words and stared at her for a moment. "Um, not yet, Headmistress. It's still too new in my mind, but thank you for your kind words. I'll inform you the moment I make a decision."
She nodded at him. "I look forward to hearing from you then."
Without another word, he took his leave and headed towards the Astronomy office. He hoped that he wasn't too late.
As he strode through the seemingly empty halls of Hogwarts, he found his mind wandering back to the first time he had ever walked these halls. Evans had been by his side, and they were headed back to their respective common rooms after he had gotten into yet another duel with James Potter. He snorted as he thought back on it. He should have recognized then when she was fiercely defending Potter's actions that she didn't truly care for him any longer, that she had abandoned him. Aurora hadn't abandoned him, though. She had always been by his side. He just hadn't noticed her.
"Come on, Snape. Just once. That's it, and I'll leave you alone. I promise," a soft, familiar voice echoed around him in his mind. "You know you want to."
"Go away."
"Not until you say yes."
"Sinistra, I said no."
"No, technically you said that you wanted me to go away. It wasn't exactly a no. Just once. Please? I'll leave you alone afterwards."
His teenage self groaned loudly, a book slamming a moment later. "Fine. If only to get rid of you. After all, some of us do study in Slytherin."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Let me see. Reg has been going on for days about how you can do this."
"Regulus has a big mouth."
"Well, of course he does. He's a Black." Her soft, airy laughter fell around them. "Come on. Before Filch or someone comes."
He held his palm out to her and murmured a soft spell. From nothing, a small green bud started to form in the center of his palm before it grew and eventually bloomed into a daisy. Her eyes remained on the flower he had spelled. A moment later, the daisy started to change colors before it was consumed by fire and vanished.
"Now, will you stop pestering me?" his teenage self replied with a huff.
"That was beautiful. Thank you." Her teenage self smiled widely before she ran off.
When he opened the door to the Astronomy classroom a few minutes later, he had expected to find Aurora and Demetri with their wands trained on him, hexes on their tongues. What he found, though, was Aurora sitting atop of Demetri's desk swinging her legs back and forth. He glanced around the room in confusion. Demetri was nowhere to be found.
"You looking for your girlfriend?" Aurora asked amusedly.
"What?"
"Demetri. After all, the way I hear it, you found your way into her bed last night."
The color drained from his face. "Aurora, I'm so sorry," he started to say, taking a step to her.
She started laughing, though. "Why? We're not together. We've shared a few kisses. That's it. That's hardly a relationship."
"I know, but you—"
"I don't care what you do, Severus. You're an adult. You're free to shag whomever you want, even if that so happens to be my best friend after a night of drinking." She shrugged, still swinging her legs as if she didn't care about anything. Her eyes were cold, emotionless.
"You don't mean that."
"No. I do mean that, Severus. I don't give a damn what you do. I'm not your girlfriend."
He sighed softly. "I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I only met her once or twice, but . . ."
"It happens," she replied with another shrug. "No reason to dwell on it."
"There is, though. You need to grieve, to process everything. Pushing it away isn't going to—"
"You know what would help me, Severus?" she interrupted, forcing her smile as she slid from the desk and walked towards him.
"What? Say it, and I'll do it," he replied instinctively.
Her smile grew slightly before she stopped in front of him. "If everyone would stop treating me like a fragile doll, that'd be great. Because I'm not." Her fingers danced about his collar, as her eyes met his. "I'm not a doll, Severus. I'm not going shatter because you woke up naked next to Demetri this morning. Do you know why? Because I know you." Her fingers slowly slid under his shirt, resting atop of where his heart was. "I know how much of a gentleman you are, how good you are underneath all of this protective, scary garb you wear."
He trembled under her touch, his breathing shaky and erratic. He couldn't deny that she was affecting him very badly right then. When she leaned in, her lips beside his ear, he swallowed.
"You weren't with Dem last night. You may have found your way to her bed after I left, but you are too much of a gentleman to allow yourself to be with any woman in that sort of state." She then pulled back. "But I admit I did give it my best last night, but alas, we were foiled by Dem's damn cat."
"What?"
She smirked before she pulled back his collar and traced the mark on his neck. "Unless you thought this mark was from the cat?. I mean, the cat did hiss at us, but I think that was more because we about rolled atop of it."
"You and I . . ." He stared at her.
"Yes, Severus, You and I almost had drunken sex, but was foiled by a cat."
"I . . . how do you know this?" He couldn't remember a damn thing from last night but drinking that last shot of hers of the mystery drink.
"Unlike you and Dem, I have a bit of a tolerance to Bliss."
"Bliss?" He grabbed her upper arms, his eyes widening in horror. "Aurora, that's—"
"Oh here we go," she drawled, scoffing. "Lecture mode."
It all started to make sense. Her attitude, her behavior. Bliss was a very addictive potion that was outlawed long ago. He grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. When he saw the deep red tint to her eyes, he felt his stomach drop. She had to have been taking it for months to have this deep of a red tint.
"How could you do something so stupid, so reckless, so selfish? People have died taking this!"
"Only the addicts, and a potion a day is hardly—"
"A potion a day?" His mind reeled as he calculated all the damage she had done to herself with that level of usage. It was mind shattering.
"Well, sometimes two," she scoffed. "Depends on how much you people push."
"You're going to Pomfrey. Now!"
"No!" She tried to pull herself out of his grasp. "I'm fine, Severus!"
"Like hell you are," he snarled back at her. The amount she had been taking, it was a miracle she could function at all. "You have been dosing yourself with a highly addictive potion that is known for slowly killing its victims!"
She scoffed. "So, I guess now's not the time to tell you that I've been taking Dreamless Sleep every single night since June?" she said snottily.
"You've been . . ." His voice trailed off before he snatched ahold of her face again. "You may have no regard for your wellbeing anymore, but I do! And I will be damned if I allow you to continue on this path of self-destruction you've set yourself on. I don't know what happened that night, but damn it, Aurora, I will not lose you! Do you understand me? I will not lose the woman I love to Death! I will not bury you as he did! So, go ahead and hate me all you want, but I will not allow this any longer. Do you hear me? I will not lose you!"
"You don't love me," she scoffed. "You're just obsessed with me. Desperately clinging like a—"
His lips slammed against hers roughly. He needed her to shut up, and this was the only way he could think it'd work. He could taste the Bliss on her lips still, realizing that she had to have taken some this morning again. How could he have not noticed that she was in pain? That she needed help? He felt her try to fight against him, but he kept kissing her. He needed to get through to her, to the Aurora he knew that was buried deep underneath the Bliss-shell.
At the sound of violent crackling overhead, he knew that her magic was instinctively going to protect her if he continued. He didn't stop, though. He couldn't. He needed to reach her. She was there. He knew she was. He just had to find her again. As the crackling increased and he started to feel her raw magic start to surround him, he deepened his kiss with her, letting his mind wander to hers. She'd recognize him. Know he wasn't trying to hurt, but that he needed her to fight, to keep fighting.
He then heard glass shattering around them. He kept his eyes on hers. He could feel the room shake violently, hear the telescopes vibrate nearby. It was as if the room was so very close to exploding. Which he supposed in a way it was, thanks to her instinctive magic.
Her eyes had darkened instead of lightening as he had hoped. It was then that she shoved him hard and away from her. He stumbled back, having not expected such strength from her. He reached back, only to fall back when her magic finally exploded all around them. The last thing he saw was the tall stained-glass windows shattering, and her jumping towards him as the shards flew at him. He slammed back, his head connecting with the stone floor, as she fell atop of him, her body shielding him from the jagged shards.
The overwhelming scent of antiseptics caused him to groan internally many hours later. The Hospital Wing. Of course he'd be there. He drew in a few more testing breaths, taking stock to see if anything hurt. Finding that he wasn't in any sort of pain, he opened one eye and then the other.
Candles were lit, bathing the wing in a warm, flickering light. It was nighttime again, he noticed. He had gone a whole day without seeing his parents and Harrison. What did that say about his parenting skills or lack thereof? Off to his side, curtains were drawn around a nearby cot, and he found himself wondering if it was Aurora being hidden from him. By his estimate, she had to have taken the brunt of the broken glass. However, his questions vanished when he noticed a shadow off to his side. Aurora? He turned towards the shadow.
"I am officially banning the two of you from coming anywhere near my classroom, my rooms here, and my flat."
His eyes closed. Not Aurora then.
Demetri smiled faintly at him. "I don't make nearly enough to keep replacing my shit you two are so intent on destroying."
He sighed heavily. His words echoed in his head as he stared at her. He needed to make this right. She didn't deserve any of his anger. Not when he had been so wrong. "Demetri, I," his voice lowered, "apologize for what I said earlier. I... I was wrong."
"Yes, you were," she replied, crossing her arms as she leaned back in the chair she was sitting in. "You're also an asshole who needs to learn to think before you open your mouth. I mean, really, you have the uncanny ability to take one's insecurities and turn them into a weapon against them. Morgana would be jealous." She sighed. "But I accept your apology and offer one of my own."
He snorted when she finished, sounding more tired than he had ever been. "For which part? Your words the other day or tonight?"
"My words the other day. We both could've handled the situation better, but we didn't."
He nodded. "We could have."
"I honestly don't think that you are only obsessed with Aurora. You do actually love her."
He glanced back at her. "Thank you." It was good to hear that she had taken that back. He actually couldn't deny her words any more. Perhaps he had grown to love Aurora for all his denial. "And you're a very good friend, who deserves a man who is worth her time and love."
She smiled. "Tell the Fates that. They seem to only dangle the unattainable or already taken in front of me and enjoy watching me make a complete ass out of myself."
"The Fates are dunderheads."
"They are. They need to stop sticking their noses in our business." She snorted.
"Agreed." He then attempted to sit up, groaning and falling back when he failed.
"And where do you think you're going?"
"Nowhere, obviously," he replied miserably.
"Obviously," she replied before taking pity on him and grabbing another pillow and helping him to prop himself up. "I've been charged with babysitting the two of you and making sure you stay put. I was even given permission by the lovely healer to stick you to your bed since you are prone to sneaking out of here when her back is turned."
"Thanks." He then frowned as he thought on what she had said. "Aurora is here then?"
"No, she just brushed off the surge of magical energy the two of you created and skipped merrily down the stairs and out of the castle." She rolled her eyes. "Yes, she's here."
He briefly glared at her. "I was merely asking a question."
"Ask a stupid question, and you get an equally stupid answer."
"So I see."
"Care to share with the rest of the class what happened?" She glanced at the office door Pomfrey had disappeared through. "Everyone either doesn't know or they don't like to share."
"I don't know. I noticed that Aurora was acting unlike herself. I attempted to pull her back, but . . . it wasn't her, Demetri. We should have noticed. I should have noticed."
Demetri nodded. "I know. She seemed off the other day at the bar too, but I just thought it was stress from whatever it was Dumbledore had her doing." She shook her head. "I found out earlier her mother died in an attack on their family Manor."
He nodded. "In June. She's been dosing herself ever since to not feel."
"Dosing herself . . ." She glanced at the privacy screen that blocked off her view from the other witch. "With what?"
"Bliss and Dreamless. At least those two are the ones she admitted to me."
"Are you fucking serious?" Demetri glared at him before turning her gaze back to the curtain. "She knows damned well what Bliss can do, let alone mixing it with other potions. Hell, she ripped me a new one our first year of university for brewing it for my Potions final exam because I made a joke about taking it myself to see if I had brewed it right." She shook her head and closed her eyes to calm herself before speaking again. "You two are two of a kind. One hides their emotions behind vitriol and snark, pushing people away and keeping them at arm's length, and the other hides at the bottom of a potions bottle. It has to be a British thing "
He inhaled deeply. "Ouch."
"The truth hurts. "
"A version of it at least."
"Oh? And what would your version be? Because from where I'm sitting, my version is pretty spot on." She sighed. "You are not only hurting yourselves but those around you as well."
"I haven't done anything."
She raised a questioning eyebrow.
"I haven't!"
She sighed. "If you say so."
"I do say so."
"I'm not saying you've done anything to attribute to what she's going through. You do, however, like to lash out instead of let people in. That makes it hard for people to want to open up to you."
"But I'm honest about that," he argued. "It's not like that's new."
"It also makes it harder for people to want to seek you out for comfort or with their problems and concerns."
"Are you honestly blaming me for this?"
"No. I'm blaming both of us. I've had my head up my own ass to see something was wrong. Aurora is too goddamned stubborn to admit something was bothering her, and you are, well, you. In other words, I'm blaming us for letting her get so far gone before we noticed something was wrong."
He looked away guiltily. Demetri was right. They both had missed the signs. They had stood by as Aurora slowly poisoned herself. He couldn't deny that. It'd be a lie if he did. He had been so focused on his own problems that he had turned a blind eye to hers.
"I'm sorry," Demetri whispered, pulling him from his thoughts as she picked at the sleeve of her robes. "I've been sitting here for hours chastising myself about being a shit friend."
He turned back. "For what? You didn't blow up your tower."
"For not knowing her mother had died and for not being there for her."
"I learned from McGonagall earlier tonight. So I'm in the same boat as you."
Demetri smiled faintly. "Yeah, well, I learned it from a vampire that I ran into on the way down to Hogsmeade. He's a family friend of hers, I guess."
"Declan I think Minerva said," Severus stated with a frown.
Demetri nodded slowly, picking at her robes some more. The silence seemed to draw on forever before she finally spoke again. "What happened? On the tower between you and Aurora?"
"Her magic reacted to me," he started to say, "thinking I was a threat to her."
"Why would she think you were a threat?"
"I don't know. I was pushing her to confront something, and she wasn't ready to."
"Confront what? I mean, you two nearly killed each other, Severus. Not to mention, you caused a lot of damage to the Astronomy tower. So, confront what?"
"How reckless she was being. How selfish her taking Bliss was. That I love her even when she's being a complete idiot and trying to poison herself as a result. She didn't want to hear it."
"If you were being your normal charming self while confronting her, I can't say I blame her for not wanting to listen."
"Perfect. Thank you for your opinion," he drawled.
"You know what they say about opinions." She snorted when he glared at her. "Maybe now she'll listen and allow one or both of us to help her."
"Hardly. She's been taking it for months, Dem. She doesn't have a care in the world."
"Then she'll have to deal with me literally sitting on her if I have to in order to get her to listen."
He half-laughed tiredly.
"You look tired. I should let you get back to sleep."
He shook his head, though. "It's fine. I'm not going to get any sleep anyway."
"I can tell you some bedtime stories then," she teased. "There's one about a young witch who has to keep mentally telling herself students can't be used in potions, no matter how much they piss her off in class."
He chuckled. "I know that story well."
She smiled, nodding. "I can see why you are so testy all the time now. I swear if I get one more 'Why can't I just add the whole root? Why do I have to dice it', I'm gonna let the little shits find out the hard way. And Slughorn is no help."
"Horace? They brought him back?" He groaned, recalling the last time he had spoken to the man. "Watch him closely around the students. He's a collector. Always wanting to attach himself to the next star and doesn't care how he does it."
"He took over for your N.E.W.T level classes, and I'm teaching the first through third years." She shook her head. "Oh I know all about his collecting. The man will not leave me alone. He literally stands outside the bathroom if I duck in there to avid him. I've lent him Morgana's portrait so he'd leave me alone, which is keeping him away from me outside of meals."
"Good for you."
"How in the hell did you become a Master with him as a teacher for seven years anyway? He barely watches what the students are doing, and I am convinced someone in the NEWT class is brewing psychedelic potions. I've had to lock up a few of the ingredients that seem to be disappearing rather quickly."
"Self-taught if I'm honest."
She nodded. "That's usually the way it goes.
He nodded as well. His eyes found its way back to the closed curtain. "Her eyes, Dem. They were red. Tinted from that poison."
"How did we not see it? The tint means she's been taking it longer than we may realize. Maybe since June, but maybe even longer. We should have realized something was wrong."
"I agree, but we didn't."
"So how do we help her now, short of using an Unforgivable to get her to talk to us?"
"I don't know. I tried getting her to remember to feel, to be herself. And, well, you saw how well that ended."
"Yeah I saw. The house elves are a bit mad at the two of you, so heads up if your food is bland or your shirts are wrinkled." She glanced at the curtain. "How did I end up being friends with the two most stubborn people in all of Scotland?"
"Luck obviously."
She snorted. "Obviously."
He smiled.
"I can ask Declan if he has any ideas on how to help."
"You seem to have become quite close with him, haven't you?"
She snorted. "I had one conversation with the vampire," she stated, holding up a finger. "Granted there was flirting involved and a future date in the works, but still. Don't send out the wedding invitations just yet."
"Sounds as if you have, though."
"I have not." She smacked his leg in a sisterly manner. "Though, I wouldn't mind waking up next to him on a daily basis."
He raised a brow at her. "Next to a vampire?" He scoffed. "You'd be on Blood Replenishing the rest of your life."
"Your point?" she asked before laughing at his disgusted look. "It'd never happen, though. He refused my proposition earlier."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
She shrugged. "I'm used to it."
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "If it makes you feel any better, I told her I loved her, and the tower exploded." He glanced at Demetri. "Do you think that's a good or bad sign?"
She laughed. She couldn't help it. The way he said it, like a child questioning the existence of St. Nicholas, was so adorably sincere. "It sure as hell beats the whole 'fireworks and birds singing' trope we see in movies." He nodded in agreeance. "I know she loves you, Severus. I've known possibly longer than she has, so maybe it's a good sign."
"You weren't there, Demetri. She argued with me. Said the same thing you did. That I didn't love her. That it's all obsession. And maybe she's right. I don't know what love is. Not truly. The first girl I fell for left me the moment she found someone better, someone who wasn't me. My parents—cats and dogs got along better than them most days. Everyone in my life—no positive there."
"That was the Bliss talking Severus, not her. She was trying to push you away. She told me it's better to stop caring and getting hurt when I told her about our fight. That was not Aurora." She leaned forward in her chair. "You are such an idiot if you think you don't know what love is. I've seen you with Harrison, Severus. And if that wasn't proof enough, well, if you didn't love Aurora, you'd have left a long time ago and you wouldn't be so worried about her as you are now."
He rubbed his face. "What if the damage from the Bliss and the Dreamless doesn't repair?"
"Would you love her any less?"
"No."
"Then it will be something you'd have to work with." Both of them would have to work with.
"It's not fair."
"Since when is anything in life fair?"
"I thought my luck was changing after Harrison came into my life. My father wasn't the man I thought he was. My mother—she—everything was the way it should have been. You know?"
"I do."
"And then curve ball after curve ball."
"Life doesn't like when we get too comfortable."
"I want to be comfortable just once. Just once I don't want it all to go to hell on me."
"It's what we all want, honestly."
He scoffed, shaking his head.
"What? It's true."
"Most of the population hasn't gone through the crap we have."
"That just makes us special."
"If you say so."
"It's easier to think that than to think the Fates are using us as their personal playthings. Isn't it?"
"I doubt they even care."
"Could be.
"I just want it over."
She nodded. "Yeah. It's getting old real fast."
"Indeed."
"If we stop fighting with each other, we could help each other through this shit."
He snorted. "At least until you leave."
She tilted her head. "And why would I leave?"
"Because everyone does eventually."
"No, Severus. You're stuck with me. I'm not going back to America." She shrugged. "I've nothing to go back to if I'm honest."
"So, you're sticking it out with us misfit here?"
"I am."
"Good."
She smiled.
"You'd be missed otherwise."
"Oh, I'm sure." She laughed. "Now rest. Before Dragon lady gets after the both of us."
He nodded before he settled back against his pillow. His head turned towards the closed curtain.
"Severus?"
"Yes?"
"I'm glad nothing happened between us," Demetri said softly. She smiled faintly at him when he turned back to her. "I'd hate to lose you as a friend."
"Likewise." He then sighed heavily, turning back to the curtain again. "Remind me to give Merlin a large mouse with catnip when I get out of here."
"Why?"
He thought about answering her truthfully, but decided against it. She didn't need to know that her cat had interrupted Aurora and his almost-shagging session on her sofa.
"To smooth things over for all the trauma he's likely experienced lately."
Demetri laughed. "If you say so."
A/N: If you're interested in reading the oneshot about Demetri's run-in with Declan, ask Snapeswidow. We wrote it out, and she's going to be posting it (likely over on Ao3).