A/N: Yay for the long chapter! I feel like I'm finally starting to get back into my rhythm with this fic again. Can you tell? :) There's a little bit of everything in this chapter: father/son moments, romance, drama, suspense, mystery... lots of sexual tension... haha. Either way, I sincerely hope you enjoy. Thanks.
Moving On
An unusual cold snap in late April had blanketed Hogwarts for three weeks, causing the students and staff to remain bundled up and inside. It had seemed there would be no relief in sight much to everyone's dismay. That was until two days ago when it finally ended.
So while most of the castle was now enjoying the beautiful, warm spring day outside, the poor souls stuck in fifth-year Double Potions were inside shivering, huddled together around their cauldrons in an attempt to seek out more warmth. Severus had stoked the fire in his classroom at least five times already this morning before his students had shown up, but it was to no avail. The cold was stuck, trapped with them, as the warm air above hadn't made its way down to the dungeons yet . . . and likely wouldn't for at least a week or two.
"Books away," Severus announced sharply, turning to his class. His students glanced at one another in confusion but complied, slipping their books back inside their bags. He couldn't understand their confusion really. He rarely had them rely on their books during practical classes. In fact, he was one who operated under the idea that his students were to read ahead, so they weren't lost when he taught. Of course that was lost on the brats.
"Draught of Peace," he said in a semi-bored tone. "It'll relieve you of any anxiety or agitation you might have. So, seeing as how you're all hormonal brats in a constant state of anxiety, it, therefore, might be prudent if you know how to brew it successfully. If only to spare us adults from your drama." He then leaned back on his heels with his arms crossed, his eyes meeting each of theirs. "However, I must warn you. Dosing yourself with it constantly will make it lose its potency and render it eventually useless. So only take it in emergencies. Say, for your OWLs in a few weeks, hmm?" He then motioned to the directions he had written on the chalkboard. "You have the entire class to brew it. The one who does so successfully first will find him- or herself excused to leave for the rest of the period." He watched their eyes light up in glee at the thought of escaping the cold dungeons. He almost felt bad. "Which will be a miracle, I assure you, if even one of you dunderheads manages to do so without killing the rest of us first." Their happy faces fell a bit. "Well, what are you waiting for? Begin." He then glanced back at his directions, smirking inside. Only a student who had read the assigned material would be able to brew it, he knew, as he had intentionally left off a step.
As he made his way back to the dais where his desk was, Severus found his mind wandering for a bit. Two hours from then, he would be done with his classes for the day and be back with his son who was currently being watched by the house elves. He would take Harrison outside later to enjoy the warmth. In fact, he had planned a picnic for them. He snorted silently. Picnic and Severus were two things that no one would have ever imagined being in the same sentence. But he had changed, grown past the angry boy of his youth.
He sat down at his desk and dipped his quill into his inkpot. His eyes briefly glanced out at the class, taking note of the steam from their various cauldrons, before he returned to marking his sixth-years' essays. It would be at least forty minutes before one of them was close to where he had left off a step, so he had time.
Sure enough, forty-three minutes later, the classroom was rocked by the first flaming cauldron. With a lazy wave of his wand, Severus extinguished the small fire as he moved from his desk. He could see the boy's look of utter dismay and pointed towards the board.
"Did you follow the steps exactly, Mister Reynolds?"
"Yes, sir. I did."
"Obviously not," Severus replied bitingly. "Or else your potion wouldn't have caught on fire."
"But—"
"Read the assigned chapter on Draught of Peace again," he cut in. "Once you finish with that, you will silently sit there and write an essay on where you went wrong. And if you so much as speak to anyone or even think about it, Mister Reynolds, you will be scrubbing my first-years' cauldrons for the remainder of the term. Understood?"
"Yes, sir," the young man replied, his shoulders slumping.
Severus turned away from him. Two more cauldrons caught fire five minutes later. He assigned the same to those poor students as well. It wasn't long before nearly half of the class were busy reading instead of brewing and learning that he had tricked them.
He moved to walk in between the tables, glancing in the remaining three students' cauldrons as he did. One of them showed promise. The liquid was at least the right shade for the step the student was on. However, the young witch had just reached the fateful missing step from the directions. He watched her eyes narrow on the chalkboard in confusion before she glanced back to her cauldron.
The other two students' cauldrons both popped, drawing his attention from her. Severus waved away the explosions and leveled a look on the two boys, who groaned and set off to work on reading the essay. By now, he knew everyone knew that he had tricked them. All but her.
"Well, Miss Denza?" he said when she hadn't moved since the remaining cauldrons but hers had exploded. "Your potion isn't going to brew itself after all," he drawled.
"I know that, Professor," she said with a little laugh before she bit her lip and glanced back at the chalkboard. She was flicking her hair tie against her wrist nervously.
"Then why aren't you doing anything?"
"It's just, well, um . . ."
He crossed his arms and stared down at her, raising an eyebrow. "Yes, Miss Denza?"
"You're wrong, sir."
Her classmates gasped around her, staring at her as if they expected him to hex her right then and there. Her head hung in response.
"Excuse me?" he replied deathly quiet. Secretly, he was very proud of her right then.
"You're wrong, sir. Or rather your directions are." She snapped her hair tie against her wrist and drew in a breath before she forced herself to look back up at him. "You forgot to add the powdered moonstone on step fourteen, Professor. It's what gives it a bit of a gray color."
"So I did." He faintly smiled down at her. "Congratulations, Miss Denza. There's hope for you yet. Fifty points to Hufflepuff." He then motioned to her cauldron. "Finish your potion, and then enjoy the rest of your day."
She smiled widely up at him and happily set off to do as ordered. It took about ten more minutes before her potion was finished, a creamy white liquid, and she took her leave.
Fifteen minutes after that, he released the rest of the class, not wanting to subject them anymore to the brutal cold. He watched them leave, snorting when he saw Demetri weave through the wave of students leaving. He was wondering when she would visit today.
"You're missing a step, Severus. It has seventeen, not sixteen."
"Am I?" he replied, waving a hand lazily at the board to remove his writing. "How strange." He heard her laugh and smiled in return. "So, how is she today?"
"Eh, about as well as a porcupine losing its quills, I guess."
He glanced at her sharply. "That well, huh?" He shook his head. When he had seen Aurora last night, she had been all right, able to carry on a conversation at least. He wondered what had happened during her session with Pomfrey earlier.
"She's not saying much again, but she's not fully withdrawn either."
So it wasn't entirely a bad day for her. That was good to hear at least.
"I think the whole being confined to the Hospital Wing is driving her mad."
He snorted. "It'd drive anyone mad being stuck with Pomfrey that long."
"Yeah, anyway, do you want me to watch Harrison for you again?"
He glanced at her and smiled again, shaking his head. "No. Thank you, though, Demetri."
"No problem." She shrugged. "You should get out of here while you still can, though. It's really nice outside."
"So I've heard," he replied with a laugh. "You should take your own advice. Go see that vampire friend of yours again." He chuckled when she rolled her eyes.
"Sunlight, remember? I don't want him to be a crispy critter after all."
"Thankfully, I don't have that problem with any of my friends." He laughed when she lightly punched his shoulder. A moment later, he headed for the door and down the hall towards his rooms. He was thankful when Salazar opened his portrait without a word.
"Dada!" Harrison squealed the moment Severus set foot inside. The young boy launched himself at him, his arms outstretched. Severus caught him and smiled, shaking his head.
"What have I said about jumping off the sofa, brat?"
"Not to," Harrison replied sullenly, his head hanging.
"Yes, because I don't want you to crack your head open or worse. I love you too much for that." He kissed his son's forehead, sighing when he saw the sticky residue on his robes. He glanced at the wincing house elf who had enough sense to snap its fingers and disappear a moment later. "What have you been into, brat?"
"Not'ing."
"What have I said about lying?"
Harrison sighed heavily. "I's hungry, Dada."
Severus then saw the mess and sighed heavily. Harrison had been trying to eat pancakes. It hadn't gone well, as there were bits of pancakes everywhere. With a wave of his hand, he vanished the mess, thankful that he didn't have to clean that up the Muggle way.
"All right, brat. Let's get you cleaned up." Harrison rested his head against Severus's shoulder, and they made their way towards the bathroom.
"Athtime?"
"Yes, so we can go outside and play." And get dirty all over again. He set Harrison down beside him as he drew his son's bath, making sure the water wasn't too hot for the boy. A few minutes later, when he turned towards him, he found that Harrison had already stripped down to everything but his socks. "Socks too."
"But, Dada!"
"No. Socks off too." When he saw the socks fly a moment later, he shook his head. Why the boy always insisted on wearing his socks during bath time was beyond him. He gently helped him into the tub, raising a brow when Harrison immediately blew bubbles at him. Cheeky brat.
"Dada?"
"Yes?"
"Are you gonna see Muma 'ater?"
Severus paused in mid-scrub and glanced at his little boy. He wasn't stupid. He knew that Harrison was talking about Aurora. But to hear that question . . . and spoken from him. He didn't know how to respond, so he just watched his son for a few moments in stunned silence.
The boy was a packaged deal after all. So, if they truly were going to have a relationship down the line, she needed to accept Harrison just as much as she accepted him. Not that he thought she wouldn't. She was like Harrison in that regard, accepting all strays as if they were family. And yet as he thought back on it, he had kept Harrison away from her, choosing to visit her after he put Harrison down for the night in fact.
"I'll probably see Aurora tonight, yes," Severus finally said. "Why? Does that bother you?" Maybe that was why the boy had brought it up.
Harrison shook his head, though. "No." With wet hands, he gently grabbed Severus's face, leaving behind a few bubbles. "You love her, Dada, and you're sad when she's not here. And I don't want you sad, Dada."
Sad when Aurora wasn't there? Where on Earth did the boy get that from? His eyes narrowed on him before he gently pulled Harrison's hands off his face.
"I miss her, yes, but it doesn't make me sad, though, Harrison."
"Oh."
Indeed. Severus shook his head and sighed. "Where is all of this coming from, brat?" He watched his son's face scrunch up in confusion. "Why do you think I'm sad?"
"Cause you come back smilin' after. You think I'm sleepin' but I'm not. I wait until you're back and then I sleep," Harrison answered honestly.
"Why?"
Harrison's eyes darted to the floor.
"Why do you wait until I'm back and then sleep?" Severus asked, gently pushing his son's chin up so the boy would look at him again.
The little boy shrugged, chewing his bottom lip, though.
"Harrison, answer me. Why do you wait until I'm back to sleep?"
"Cause."
"Because why?"
Harrison sniffled, his eyes glancing away with tears in them.
"Child, look at me." Severus lowered his voice in what he hoped was a non-threatening manner.
"Cause I don't want to lose you, Dada," the sweet boy declared before he burst into tears.
Lose him? Why would Harrison lose him? He frowned, rubbing the boy's back gently. When it seemed as if that wasn't doing any good, he pulled the boy into his lap, closing his eyes when Harrison fiercely hugged him as if he thought Severus would be gone right then.
"Hush. I'm right here. Everything's fine," Severus murmured, rubbing the boy's back still and holding him close. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'm right here, Harrison. Right here with you."
"Promise?" the tear-filled boy cried, sniffling and rubbing his nose on his sleeve, much to Severus's disgust.
"Promise, brat. You're stuck with me." He brushed back Harrison's hair and offered the boy a soft smile. "I don't know if you know this about me, but I love for life. It's a bit overwhelming for some, I admit, but once I love you, I never stop. And I never leave."
Harrison sniffled again. "Good. Cause I love you too," he whispered. "And I don't want the green light to take you too from me, Dada!"
"Green light?" Severus's eyes narrowed before he brushed back the boy's hair again. His eyes met Harrison's, as he turned his wrist so his wand would slip into his hand. "Legilimens," he murmured, finding himself thrown into Harrison's young mind a moment later.
It took a bit as he was being extra cautious, but he soon found the memory of this green light that Harrison was talking about.
"Not Harry! Not Harry! Please—I'll do anything!"
"Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!" (page 239 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)
Severus withdrew the moment he heard the fateful Unforgivable hissed from his old puppet master's lips followed by the thud of a body. He inhaled sharply, his eyes closing as he forced his emotions back. Harrison was recalling Lily's death. He should have known.
Sighing heavily, he pressed another kiss against Harrison's forehead. What this little boy had gone through already in his young life . . .
"I'm sorry, Harrison. I'm so sorry," Severus whispered, rubbing the boy's back as he held him. It was no wonder the boy was terrified of his leaving. He was recalling his true parents' deaths. A thought then occurred to him, and he reopened his eyes, staring at the sniffling boy who looked utterly miserable. Severus's future self had wanted the boy to have a better life. So far, that had happened, but if he allowed the boy to continue to remember his parents' deaths, ultimately, it would negatively affect the boy's emotional wellbeing. "Harrison, do you trust me?" With no hesitation whatsoever, the little boy nodded. "I'm going to press my wand against your head for a second, all right? And all that light stuff, it'll go away. Okay?"
"Like forever?"
It was a valid question. Was it Severus's right to take that memory from the boy forever?
"No, son. Just until you're old enough, all right?" Harrison nodded slowly, chewing on his bottom lip again. Severus summoned a vial and then pressed his wand gently against the boy's temple. He closed his eyes and silently drew the memory from the boy's mind. He watched the silvery strands wrap around his wand as he collected it before he deposited it into the vial. "When you're old enough, I'll return this to you. I promise."
Harrison nodded before he nuzzled against Severus again. He would put Harrison's memory next to his own sets and keep it safe for the boy until then. When the boy was ready to know the truth.
"What do you say to you and me having a picnic outside today with Aurora?" If Pomfrey released her that was, which was asking for a miracle really. However, if it happened, it'd be good for all of them. Surely, even Pomfrey could see that.
"Icnic?"
"Yes, it's where you eat sandwiches and other things outside on a blanket." A rather simple explanation, he supposed, but one that he was sure Harrison understood. In fact, he knew that anytime the boy heard the word 'outside' that he was all for it. "All right then. Let's finish your bath, and get you dressed again."
Fifteen minutes later, Severus walked through the doors to the Hospital Wing holding Harrison in one arm and a picnic basket in another. His son was now dressed in a cute outfit Demetri had given them awhile back. He could tell his son was on his best behavior and smiled inwardly as a result of it. He really did have a truly great boy.
"I need to speak with Madam Pomfrey for a moment to get permission. Do you think you can be really quiet and sit here guarding the basket while I do this?" He watched Harrison nod, knowing that there was no way in hell the boy would be able to sit there and not move in that time. He set the basket down beside a chair. "I'll be right in there," he motioned to Pomfrey's office, "if you need me."
"Okay." Harrison hopped up into one of the chairs and swung his legs back and forth. He was curiously looking around the wing.
Severus shook his head, though, and knocked on the matron's office door before he stepped inside a moment later when he heard her soft 'Enter'. He caught her eye instantly when she looked up from a chart she had been reading.
"Professor Snape." She then glanced up at the clock. "You're early today."
He inclined his head to her. "I was wondering if it might be possible to ask if you could release Aurora for a few hours today," he said quietly. He noticed her instant disapproval and decided to use his son to get his request approved. "My son was hoping we could take her on a picnic."
"A picnic?" Pomfrey crossed her arms and scoffed. "Well, I suppose it's not the worst idea."
"Is that a yes then?" he replied.
"If she feels up to it, then, yes, you may. However, as I'm certain you're aware—"
"I'll watch her, Madam," he cut in, already knowing what she was going to say. "If she starts to become upset, I'll bring her back."
"Straight back, Severus," the matron firmly emphasized, pointing at him.
"Of course. I'll bring her straight back. You have my word."
"Two hours. That's all I'm allowing. If she's not back here—"
"She will be."
Pomfrey sighed loudly and then motioned for him to go, which he did. He quietly closed the door behind him and glanced at the chair, raising a brow at Harrison who had somehow managed to get himself dirty again.
"I thought I told you to sit there quietly and not move, brat?"
"I didn't."
"Then how did you get dirty again?"
Harrison shrugged. "I'm special?"
Severus snorted, rolling his eyes. "Obviously." He held his hand out while he gently picked up the basket again.
"Did she say yes?"
"She did."
Harrison broke into a brilliant smile.
Together, the two headed towards the private room in the back where Severus knew she was. He briefly considered asking Harrison to stay outside for a moment while he spoke with her, but, ultimately, he decided against this. She wasn't a danger. He slowly turned the doorknob and stepped inside with Harrison at his side a moment later.
With her knees pulled up to her chest, Aurora had her back to them as she looked out the window from her bed. Her curls were messy and needed a good brush through them. But love was blind, so Severus didn't even notice that.
"Morning, Aurora," Severus quietly said, trying to gain her attention. "I thought maybe you'd like to join us on a picnic today? I'm told it's rather warm outside." He gradually approached her.
She slowly turned to him. Her eyes narrowed briefly before she glanced at Harrison. A soft smile tugged at her lips.
"A picnic?"
"Before you start to think I've gone entirely mad, I've already run it past Pomfrey. She approved, but we only have two hours before she calls the Aurors and has me arrested for kidnapping." He watched her laugh tiredly, running a hand through her hair.
"I see."
"Do you feel up to it?"
Her eyes met his. "Up to escaping this place for a few hours with you? Always."
"Excellent. We'll let you get dressed then." She grabbed his arm when he moved to leave. He glanced back at her puzzled.
"Thank you."
He inclined his head with a faint smile. "Of course." He then took his leave with Harrison.
When she stepped out of the room a moment later, her long dark curls had been swept up into a neat up-do. She was no longer wearing the patient gown, but instead a simple sundress and a pair of sandals. She looked very relaxed again, like herself.
"Is this okay? I couldn't think—"
"It's perfect," he replied at once, noticing Harrison's giggles a moment later. He glanced down at the brat and caught his son's 'cat who swallowed the canary' look. "Shall we?" he asked, turning back to her with his arm out for her. She smiled shyly in response and nodded.
Harrison walked in front of them, rather skipped Severus decided after a moment.
"He seems happy today," she said quietly as they headed for the entrance hall.
"He does." He then glanced at her. "And how about you? How are you feeling?" She turned to him and rolled her eyes.
"I'm fine. Well, as fine as someone like me can be." She sighed softly, turning away. "Pomfrey thinks I finally finished breaking down all of the Bliss inside me. And I'm not feeling nothing anymore, so I guess that's good. I guess."
"Demetri thought you might be having a bit of a bad day today."
"Why? Because I told her to stop psychoanalyzing me? Well, forgive me for not wanting anyone else in my head. I'm only stuck with Poppy twenty-four/seven." Her voice had risen just a bit.
"I can understand why that would be frustrating."
"What are you doing, Severus?" she asked quietly, grabbing his arm to stop him. "Really? What is this? An elaborate ruse for you to get inside my head too? Because if that's what—"
"No. It's not. I thought the fresh air would do you some good. Honest."
She released him and sighed, starting to follow Harrison again who had gotten a little bit ahead of them now.
"You don't need to sit with me every night," she quietly said.
"If I'm suffocating you by being there every night, I'll—"
"It's not that."
"Then what?" he asked, falling in step with her. He kept his eyes trained on his son who had thankfully slowed down in his happy skipping. The boy was likely still out of earshot of their conversation. "Please. Tell me so I can change it."
"I . . . Severus, I don't . . . never mind."
"No. Please. Speak to me." It was his turn now to grab her arm gently to stop her. "Please?"
She turned to look at Harrison who was blissfully unaware that they had stopped again. "It's stupid, but—my feelings for you haven't changed."
"Nor have mine," he replied, holding her hands in his.
"You have a son, Severus. A little boy who loves you. Whose whole world revolves around his dad. He needs you, all of you."
"And you think I'm not giving him this?"
"How can you when I'm constantly pulling you away from him?"
"You may not be aware of this, but I have enough regard and care for the both of you," he replied with an amused look. "You can say I'm talented in that way. Able to care for more than just one person, I mean."
"That's not what I mean, and you know it."
He sighed quietly. She was right. He did. "Aurora, you are not pulling me away from Harrison. Loving you does not make it so I love him any less. I assure you that I have enough love in this black heart of mine for the both of you."
"You don't love me, though."
"No?" He waited until she looked back up at him. "Harrison told me just a little bit ago while he was taking a bath that I seem sad before our talks but always come back smiling. There's that. Then there's a few months back where I thought I had slept with Demetri and had been so distraught by that news because I knew it would be a betrayal to you. A betrayal, Aurora. Then before that we have our kisses, intoxicating to the point of madness. Before that, we have you not being at Hogwarts because you were off doing something for Dumbledore concerning me. I don't think I need to remind you that I felt lonely, rejected, angry that I wouldn't see you this year, that you were staying away."
"Severus—"
"I love you, Aurora. I couldn't say it before, but I can now. I know what I feel for you isn't obsession. I mean, I may get jealous when I see you speaking to another male, but I'm working on it. It's a weakness on my part, a flaw."
She opened her mouth, but he continued.
"I know you're healing from things that you cannot yet talk about, but I'm here right beside you. And I'm not leaving. I'm not going to let you go through this alone. You never allowed me to in all the years we've known one another, so I'll damned if I allow you to. It may have taken me awhile, but I do see you, Aurora." He lifted his hand up to cup her cheek. "I do." He watched her close her eyes and turn her head to press her cheek against his palm even more.
It was in these moments that he knew the Aurora he had briefly known was still there.
"We better hurry up, or Harrison is going to start eating grass," Severus quietly spoke, his eyes darting to see that his son was quite a few lengths in front of them now.
"Eating grass?" she laughed, reopening her eyes.
"He sometimes believes he's a cow or dog or something. I'm just glad it's not dirt."
She smiled warmly and linked her arm back with his.
The moment they stepped outside a few minutes later, Harrison turned back with a wide grin.
"Dada, it's warm!"
"That it is," he said with a chuckle as he and Aurora approached the giggling boy who was now spinning around in a circle in the sunlight.
"You'd think he never saw the sun by the way he's acting."
"It's likely the warmth that has him so happy."
"Oh?"
"The cold air is stuck down in the dungeons currently. No matter what I try to do, I can't get it to vanish fully. I've tried burning large fires in the fireplaces, but all the warmth escapes out the chimneys instead. And warming spells are only getting us so far."
"Have you informed Minerva?"
He nodded. "She stated that she would have the elves work on it, and they've tried. Short of draining the lake and allowing the sun to shine, we've tried everything."
"Maybe you should hold classes outside then."
"Yes, because that would go so well," he drawled.
"At least if they blow anything up, it's outside," she offered. "So you wouldn't need to repair the castle anymore."
"Or they could at least, you know, read the material before they enter my class."
She laughed softly. "You expect too much from them. They're hormonal adolescents who are honestly just thinking about who is good at snogging and who isn't."
"Now, who's the cynic?" he quipped.
"I learned from the best," she replied with a laugh, patting his arm.
Laying back in the grass, Severus stared up at sky forty minutes later. Aurora had seemed more like herself than she had in months. In fact, if he didn't have such a good memory, he might have forgotten the whole Bliss episode they were dealing with. He turned towards her when he heard her soft laughs beside him. Pushing himself up slightly onto his elbows, he followed her gaze. She was watching Harrison chase after yet another butterfly. She glanced at him a moment later.
"How are you parents settling in anyway?" she asked, resting a hand against him. "I heard they had decided to make Ashmore their permanent residence now."
He shrugged in response, not having expected that question from her. "I don't know. They seem happy about it. It gives them a clean start at least and makes sure Dad doesn't have any accidental magic incidents around Muggles."
"Is he still getting used to the whole magic thing?"
"Sort of. He's figuring out at least that magic can't solve everything."
"Yeah." Her voice trailed off as her eyes moved to stare off.
"So, did Demetri tell you that she's hopelessly in love with your vampire friend?" he suddenly asked with a forced chuckle. He needed to get her mind off her obvious troubling thoughts.
"What?" She turned to look at him with a confused smile.
"Declan. She met him awhile back and fell for him. They appear to be quite cozy with one another, I guess."
"Well, she'll get her heart broken with him. He unfortunately is happily married or bonded as he likes to call it. Not that he doesn't flirt with all of us ladies from a time or two."
He nodded, wondering briefly if Demetri was aware of that. "I didn't know that you had grown up around vampires."
"Oh, yes." She laughed again, turning back to him. "There was a clan that lived at the manor. They'd help out from time to time. My grandfather—or maybe it was my great-grandfather—I forget which had offered them a place to stay when the whole world was rounding vampires up. They had been kicked out or something from their original coven. I don't know the whole story. I just—I don't know—didn't think anything of it growing up."
"And they never once attacked you?"
"Attacked me?" she repeated softly. "Oh, Circe, no. They'd rather die than attack a human, let alone me. That wasn't to say they didn't have the occasional blood lust, but they stuck to animals when it came to feeding."
He nodded before he lowered his voice and leaned towards her. "When we were together a few months back, I couldn't help but notice a bite mark." He watched her bite her bottom lip and blush, turning away from him. "Is that where you got that particular . . . fetish from?"
"Probably. I mean, you grow up around vampires, it's bound to happen, right?"
He chuckled, brushing back a stray curl of hers that had fallen. "I suppose."
"Declan was my first kiss," she admitted quietly with a soft laugh.
He nodded, listening to her before he glanced at Harrison to check on the boy. "Harrison! Put that down now!" he shouted when he saw that boy had a handful of grass in his hand. When he was satisfied that his son wasn't going to eat it, he turned back, noticing Aurora's look. "I apologize for interrupting. Please . . . continue."
She smiled. "No it's fine. It doesn't matter."
"It does. I want to hear about it. To learn more about you. I just wish my son hadn't decided right then to eat grass."
She laughed. "All right, well, I was fourteen or fifteen at the time. We had been training—or rather me using him as target practice for a few hexes which was his idea mind you, not mine, and I just thought what the hell and kissed him. I mean, he is rather gorgeous, what with his whole god-like chiseled body thing he has going on." Her laughter increased as she likely recalled that memory. "He didn't know how to react to it. First and only time, I managed to stun him into silence. Mother was so angry when she learned the truth. I couldn't train with him after that."
"She was likely trying to keep you safe."
"Yeah. Probably." Aurora shrugged, her attention returning to Harrison. "He's such a sweet boy, Severus. So full of love and energy. You're very lucky to have him."
"I know."
"Aurora?" a voice suddenly spoke behind them.
Severus turned around and frowned when he saw Jeremy Ross, the current Defense against the Dark Arts professor, slowly approach them. It was rare that the man would interrupt like this or even be outside, but he supposed the man was just glad to see that Aurora was out of the hospital wing and laughing. She was beloved by the majority of the staff after all. Severus waited for her to reply, his frown deepening when she suddenly grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
"I thought that was you. So glad to see you're finally better." Jeremy then glanced to Severus, seemingly unaware that Aurora was now digging her nails into Severus's hand. "Of course with him around, I'd expect nothing less. Let's hope he's always around, hmm?" The man then bowed his head to them respectively. "You should go inside soon. I hear a storm's approaching. Hate for any of you to be caught up in it." Jeremy took his leave then, heading back to the castle.
Severus glanced up at the sky and frowned. It was still sunny with maybe a few clouds, but nothing like a storm rolling in. He then looked down at his hand.
"Aurora?" She was still clutching his hand tightly. "Is everything okay?"
"What?" She blinked and finally tore her gaze from the Defense professor's retreating back.
"Is everything okay?" he repeated softly.
"Yeah." She laughed awkwardly, pulling her hand back from his. "I just—I don't know—got a bad feeling when he was talking to us. Like—I don't know how to describe it—but evil."
"Jeremy Ross?" The man was a bit odd, Severus would admit, but no more than Filius somedays. In fact, the man seemed more scared of his own shadow than anything else. But the man was smart and talented when it came to defensive spells. At least he seemed competent, but he clearly wouldn't last long. Defense professors never did at Hogwarts after all. "If you'd like, I can watch him for you. Make sure he's not up to anything nefarious."
"Would you?" She then shook her head when he seemed surprised. "No. Actually, don't do that. It's probably just nerves or something. I'm sure he's fine. After all, Minerva is not Albus. She's usually a pretty good judge of character, and, you know, she actually cares about her students."
"Unlike Albus," he offered, seeing her nod.
"Right." She slowly pushed herself up off the ground, which he followed suit. "Maybe, though, we should go inside. Get me back to Poppy in plenty of time so more of these . . . dates can happen."
"Dates?" he repeated with a coy smile. "Do you consider this a date, Aurora?" he teased.
"Oh, well, I . . . um . . ."
He held up a hand, chuckling. "While it wasn't my original plan, I can see it as one, though. A third date, I believe," he stated with a mischievous grin. "And you know what occurs on third dates?" He was rewarded with her light, airy laughs.
"You're incorrigible."
"Yes, but you still love me anyway." He briefly looked towards Harrison, satisfied that the boy was not paying attention to them, and quickly leaned forward to steal a kiss from Aurora. He missed her lips, though, kissing her ear instead as she had sharply turned from him at the last moment.
"Severus!" she laughed, lightly slapping his arm again. "Stop. Your son is right there."
"I know, and he's not paying a bit of attention to us."
She rolled her eyes but turned her head to him. His lips brushed across hers, and the electricity from before returned with a fury. She was as intoxicating as a two-hundred-year-old bottle of elf-wine. His fingers ran through her hair, brushing back a few more curls before they all came tumbling down upon her shoulders. She laughed against his lips, her eyes alight.
"I love you," he murmured against her soft lips, his forehead then pressing against hers.
"So you keep saying," she replied, still laughing quietly.
He pulled back and caught her eyes. "And I'm going to keep saying it until you believe me. Until there is no doubt in your mind that you are the only woman I will ever love."
She snorted, clearly not believing him. "Yeah, well, this woman you love has some serious flaws that she's working through obviously. I'm not the perfect loving angel of a woman you think I am, Severus. I've lost quite a few feathers from my wings lately."
He nodded slowly. "No more than I have over the years," he replied. "Which just proves my point. We belong together."
She lightly bumped her shoulder against his. "My, aren't you laying it on rather thick today?"
"Well, it's my understanding that you've always wanted to be wooed like those ridiculous trashy romance novels of yours," he said with a shrug. "So, woo I shall do. In fact, I'm going to woo the hell out of you, Aurora."
She burst out laughing, covering her mouth as she giggled. "All right then. At least you have goals set for this."
He turned back, a hand snaking around her back. Harrison was still happily chasing butterflies without a care in the world. Sometimes Severus wondered about the boy. He truly did.
"Severus?" she said quietly beside him a few moments later.
"Yes?"
"We're not them. You do realize that, right? I mean, if you're doing all of this because—"
"I'm not." He moved to stand in front of her, so she'd see the truth in his words. "I'm not doing this because it's what happened in that timeline. I'm not. I'm doing this, wanting to share my life with yours, because it's how I feel. I know we're not like them anymore. Theirs and our paths diverged radically thanks to his interferences. He didn't see her, though, Aurora, until it was too late. So having that bit of information, I'm using it as a sort of a lesson I guess. I don't want to live my life so cautiously anymore that I miss the people worth caring for. That I miss the moments that matter. The people that matter." She nodded slowly. "He put everyone else before him. In his mind, he was beyond saving. That is he believed his life no longer mattered because of his mistakes. And from what I know about her, she was the one always trying to get him to see that thinking was horribly messed up. That he mattered and that there was more to life than just making up for his mistake. I've learned that." He pointed towards the happily dancing boy in front of them. "Harrison taught me that. That I was worth something, that I mattered. That I needed to forgive myself for what happened and move on. And I have. It's why I'm able to tell you over and over until you believe it that I love you, because I do. Because I am ready to move on fully and love again."
"Maybe it isn't just words for you anymore," she remarked softly.
"It's not."
"We should take this slow. You know, for Harrison? So he doesn't get too attached if something goes wrong and it doesn't work."
Severus snorted but inclined his head. His son was already referring to her as mum. The boy was already attached it was safe to say.
"If that's what you wish. Just let's not go too slow, all right?" he said quietly.
Her eyebrows kitted together. "Um, well, considering several months ago, you and I nearly shagged on Dem's couch, pretty sure we're not going that slow. Remember?"
"No. Not really." He shrugged. "I had one witch plying me with all the alcohol she could find and another who had given me Bliss, so I was rather intoxicated that night." He smiled at her when he saw her wince.
"Not my best night."
"No, but we're moving on, remember? We're going to let the past remain there, and look towards the future."
"Yes, but the present was undone."
"Was is the keyword there. We've corrected it. We're continuing to correct it. So there's hope. Isn't that what you always say?"
She shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. It sounds like me I guess."
He chuckled. His eyes returned to Harrison who was now rolling around in the grass. He couldn't be sure what the boy was doing honestly. But just like that, the boy shot up and headed after yet another butterfly.
"Severus?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
His head turned back to her. "For what?"
"For sitting with me every night. You didn't have to do that, especially not after what I did." She motioned to the Astronomy tower that had almost been restored entirely over the past few months.
He sighed quietly before he grabbed her hand, knitting his fingers together with hers. "Aurora, you weren't in your right state of mind. You were still avoiding the trauma of losing your mother and sister and nearly your father. I can understand why you'd want to escape reality for a little while. To not feel anything. I tried that as well a few times, not Bliss of course, but I can understand. You weren't ready to talk, to let anyone in. I should have been watching you better. We all should have."
"It's not your job to, Severus."
"You're my friend, and you were hurting, Aurora," he argued. "So, I should have. And now, if I might be so bold to say this, it's more important than ever that I make sure you're all right, that if something's bothering you that, we discuss it and fix it." When she looked at him puzzled, he added, "Unless I haven't been clear with you, which if so I apologize, but I'm wanting to make our relationship official. That is to say, I . . ." His throat closed up unexpectedly as his mouth had suddenly gone dry. He cleared his throat with an embarrassed laugh before he started again. "That is to say, I would very much like to . . ." Why was this so damn hard to spit out?
"Yes?" she urged, wearing a look that proved she knew very well what he was asking.
"Engage in a, um, romantic relationship with you."
Her hand covered her mouth again as she tried to hide her laughter.
He frowned in response. It wasn't that funny.
"I see," she said through soft laughs.
"However, if you continue with your foolishness, I'll rescind my offer." That sent her into a fit of hysteria. "It's not that funny!" he groused, noticing that Harrison had finally turned towards them.
"You make romance seem so . . . business-like, Severus. I can't help it." She shook her head, wiping a tear that had managed to form during her laughing fit. "I mean, when we actually have sex, are you going to be like 'Aurora, I wish to procreate with you."
He drew in a sharp breath, semi-insulted by her impression of him, before he took a step toward her. "If you must know, witch," he replied, his voice lowering into a husky whisper, "it'd be much more like, 'Take off your damn clothes now or I'll rip them off you, woman." When he saw her swallow and shudder, he blinked in surprise. Had he honestly just said that aloud?
"Oh."
He took a step back from her and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He was usually in much better control of his emotions, his actions. Though, lately, his control was fleeting most days. He would have to watch himself more closely.
"Aurora, I—" His words were cut off by a plump drop of something hitting him on the cheek. He frowned before he brought a hand up hesitantly. If it was bird crap again, he was going to find the offending owl and hex it. Well, not really on second thought. However, when he glanced at his fingers, he found a clear liquid.
"Severus?"
Another large drop then hit his arm. He glanced up at the sky. When had it become cloudy? When Harrison shrieked a moment later, his head whipped towards his son, half-expecting the boy to be injured or worse. However, the boy was running towards him, seemingly fine.
More raindrops then splashed down before the heavens finally opened up and blanketed the entire grounds in a sudden and heavy downpour. Severus heard the shrieks from the others who had been caught out in it but paid little attention to them. He quickly gathered up their belongings and Harrison before he and Aurora rushed across the grounds. Harrison's arms were wrapped tightly around his neck in a bone-crushing manner.
After a few minutes of sprinting, Severus kicked open the door to the castle and motioned for Aurora inside. He quickly followed in after her and was grateful that she headed down to the dungeons and not up the moving staircases to the hospital wing. He fell in step beside her, and together they headed towards Salazar's portrait that guarded his rooms.
"Good heavens!" Salazar exclaimed when they finally reached him. "What happened to you three? Peeves didn't decide to flood the castle again, did he?"
"Just open it already, will you?" Severus replied annoyed. Once again, he allowed Aurora to enter first and followed her. He winced when he saw the wet trail behind her. She was soaked to the bone. Then again, so was Harrison . . . and him for that matter. He sighed apologetically.
"Go. I'm fine, Severus," Aurora replied to his unspoken words.
Setting down the picnic basket, he nodded, pausing briefly to kiss her cheek which resulted in an eyeroll and smile from her. He then set off towards Harrison's rooms. The boy's grip had loosened somewhat, but the boy still had a firm grip on him. He continued rubbing Harrison's back gently.
"All right, brat. Let's get these—" As he moved to set the boy down, he noticed then that Harrison was fast asleep. He chuckled quietly and shook his head. "Magic it is then." He laid Harrison down on top of his bed, pulling out the covers. He then pulled out his wand, waving it over the sleeping boy. All of the water was sucked up into Severus's wand, leaving Harrison completely dry. Another wave of his wand, and the boy's outfit had been changed into his pajamas. In turn, the sweet boy rolled over, pulling his stuffed bear closer to him to snuggle. Sliding his wand back into his holster, he smiled down at his sweet, little boy and pulled up the covers to tuck him in. He gently ruffled his son's hair. "Goodnight, brat."
"Night, Dada," Harrison sleepily murmured.
Severus then took his leave, shutting the door behind him. The boy would likely sleep through the entire night for once.
"I apologize about that," the young twenty-two-year-old declared as he walked into his sitting room. He stopped when he saw her standing near the fireplace shivering. Her sundress was dangerously clinging to her, leaving nothing to his imagination unfortunately. He licked his lips. His mind was full of deliciously naughty ideas. "Um, feel free to use my shower to warm up. It's back there," he stated, motioning down the hall towards his bedroom. He truly hoped his voice wasn't betraying how much she was affecting him right then. "I'll have the elves bring you some clean clothes to change into."
"Or you could use your wand. You are a wizard after all, Severus," she replied with a laugh.
"No." When he noticed her instant confusion, he winced. That was very stupid of him. "I . . . misplaced it." Or rather didn't trust himself to use his wand on her right then.
"Oh. Well, I guess I could go back to the hospital wing then."
"You still have an hour, though." Or rather forty-five minutes according to his clock.
"Yes, but if we're going to do this again, I need to stay in Pomfrey's good graces. And you're likely tired too." She smiled sadly. "It's fine, Severus. I'll just go."
"I'm not," he argued. "I could be up for hours. All night in fact." Why had he just said that? Merlin, he was an idiot. He peeked a glance through his long hair to look at her.
She smiled faintly and nodded. "All right then. If you're sure. You said it was back there?"
He nodded, his voice having thoroughly left him now. He watched her leave, letting his head bang against the cold stone wall the moment she disappeared behind his bedroom door. This was like fourth-year Charms all over again. Only instead of Evans, it was Aurora he was making an arse out of himself for. But, dear Merlin, was she beautiful.
He sighed heavily when he heard the faint sounds of the shower running. He turned to deal with the basket when an image suddenly popped into his mind. He inhaled sharply and shook his head to get rid of it. Thinking about Aurora right then was not a good idea. He drew his wand and magically dried the soaked blanket. Once he was satisfied, he folded it up and headed towards his bedroom to put it away. He paused when he noticed his bathroom door was slightly open (when it shouldn't be) and that there was a figure standing there. He knew he should have excused himself again, but he couldn't.
"Hi."
"Hello," he said numbly, forcing his eyes to remain locked on hers. His mother would have hexed his backside if he even so much as moved his eyes to her chin in this matter. Respecting women was something Eileen had always tried to instill on him.
"I had a really nice time today."
"Me too." In fact, the day had been perfect. Except for the unexpected downpour that was.
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, likely trying to form the right words to speak, before she sighed, a hand running through her curls nervously. "Did you mean what you said earlier?"
Which part, he wondered. Ripping her clothes off? Loving her? Forgiving himself? Wondering why his son was so fascinated with eating grass of all things? He had said a lot of things unfortunately.
"About not taking this too slow?" she finished with a soft smile.
Oh. OH! He forced a smile to his lips and laughed awkwardly. No words were coming to his mind right then to form a coherent sentence, so he tried his best to delay. Only as he started speaking, the words, "Um, well, I mean, if you're, you know, agreeable . . ." tumbled out. He was as graceful as a newborn calf right then.
"Agreeable?" She laughed before she slowly sauntered towards him. "Severus, let's be honest. When it comes to you, I've been fantasizing about us for years."
He nodded dumbstruck. She was propositioning him for sex. That much was very clear to him. And he was being an idiot and not just denying her outright like he should have. She was still getting over the ill effects of long-term use of Bliss. There was no telling if this was even really her. It could have all been an elaborate ruse to get what she wanted, to brew it herself or to—
"Fuck." The word slipped past his mouth before he could stop it.
"Well, I was hoping for lovemaking or, you know, foreplay," she quietly remarked with a laugh, running a hand through her dark curls yet again.
He shook his head, trying to rid the hormonal thoughts from his mind as he approached her. "Is this truly what you want, Aurora? If it's not, I'll understand. You're still . . . that is . . ." He sighed heavily and drew in a deep breath before he started over. "I don't want this to be a regret, a mistake."
"It won't be," she replied, her hand reaching up to stroke his cheek. He closed his eyes in response to her soft, torturous touch. "Unless you don't—"
"Good god, woman!" he barked, his voice still light though. "Of course I want!" He heard her soft, amused laughs. "I also don't want to hurt you."
"Would it help to say it's not my first time having sex?"
He glanced at her and grimaced. "It would not." So, she was experienced. That answered one question of his. He shook his head, though. Too much talking was going on and not enough snogging. Too much talking and not enough snogging always ended badly. In fact, it was why he hadn't actually been with a woman. Oh, he snogged. He would freely admit that. He even occasionally dabbled in pleasuring women (as he had always believed that good sex needed to be prepared like any good potion), but to complete the actual deed—well, he had always gotten too wrapped up in his own head, and the moment would be over before it even began.
"Do you know why I was so disappointed when I first saw Harrison?" she suddenly asked, finally breaking the awkward silence between them.
He blinked at the sudden change and swallowed, the demons in his mind quieting briefly. Yet again, he had missed the moment. He would be patient, though, and allow his disappointment to vanish on its own again, as it always did after he once again managed to talk his way out of sex. There would be a better time. He was sure of it.
"I was jealous, Severus." She forced an awkward laugh. "Can you believe that? Jealous that someone—some other woman—had carried your child."
His eyes narrowed on her. She had been jealous? Harrison wasn't really his, though.
"I realized then that I needed to stay far away from you. That I couldn't accept Minerva's offer for the Astronomy post."
"Why?" That sounded so absurd. She stayed away because he had a child? Ridiculous!
"Because I couldn't get past that feeling. Past that anger and hurt that someone else had won your heart first." She laughed self-deprecatingly. "It's stupid now to think about it in hindsight. You're not some prize to be won after all. And you're a man." She smiled faintly at him. "With needs of course, so I had not right to feel jealous or anything that night. But I did." She shook her head slowly. "Anyway, long story short, that night I went out and drank my feelings away. Not with Bliss, mind you, but with a 1932 bottle of La Crescent elf-wine."
He stared at her, barely blinking and with his mouth hanging open just a bit. She drank a bottle of 1932 La Crescent? A bottle?! There had only been twenty bottles of it ever made. It was extremely rare and . . . He himself had only had the pleasure of drinking it once at one of Lucius and Narcissa's lavish dinner parties. Truth be told in fact, he had recently been saving all of his money for a bottle lately because it had been so good and had made such an impact on him. A 1932 bottle truly?
"I'm ruining the mood. I know. I'm sorry," she said, biting her lip nervously as she likely noticed his shocked look on his face. One moment they were seconds from snogging and more, and the next they were in knee-deep serious conversation.
"It's fine," he replied instantly. It was. Clearly, she needed to tell him this, to get him to understand something before they moved their relationship to the next level.
"Pomfrey keeps wanting me to tell her what happened that night. You know?" She trembled slightly so Severus instinctively drew her into his arms, holding her against him. "I can't. I mean, she'll lock me up even longer if I had told her that. That I had been drunk, trying to rid myself of all my anger and hurt over just seeing you with a baby. I'd surely get the lecture on rights and wrongs of love and all that nonsense of hers." She sighed, resting her head against his shoulder. "But that's what happened. I was trying to numb myself to it, try to forget it ever happened."
He nodded slowly, unsure of what else to say. Though, a part of him recognized that he didn't really need to say anything. He just needed to be there and listen to her. That was what she needed from him right then, and he'd happily comply.
"And then after the bottle was gone, the entire bottle, I went home to Mum and Dad at Windsor. Mother had just given birth to my little sister a few months earlier, and in my drunken state I thought that was the perfect time to go see her." She scoffed, shaking her head against him as she buried her head further into his shoulder seeking him out for protection and likely warmth. "She had gotten sick—Mother that is—during her pregnancy with my sister. Dad said that it was between losing her and Jezlyn, so they induced to give them both a chance. She was a few weeks early, my sister that is, but Dad said Jezlyn was healthy—all five fingers and toes." She trembled more against him, her breaths hitching more than a few times as she spoke. He didn't dare interrupt her now. "I was going to talk to Dad too. To work this whole thing out between you and me. He always has the exact right things to say to get me to pull my head out of my arse."
He closed his eyes as he continued to hold her protectively, desperately wanting to absorb all her pain to heal her. Her breathing hitched even more now, and her words were starting to come out as choked sobs. She needed to let it out. To finally reveal to someone what had happened that night. It wasn't lost on him that it was him she was telling and not Pomfrey.
"Mum was already . . . there was so much . . . I tried . . . I did, Severus." She pulled back from him slightly to hold his gaze. It was as if she needed him to understand this. "But her wounds . . . they . . . I even cut my wrist on a piece of glass, thinking she'd, you know, take a bite. But she didn't. She couldn't." She drew in a shaky breath, trying to recapture some form of control on her emotions again. "I heard my dad upstairs yelling. I tried to run up there. I . . ." Her voice broke, and she shook violently against him. So violently, in fact, that he briefly considered the possibility that she was experiencing a seizure. However, he knew that it wasn't. "They . . . they killed—they killed her—my sister. She was just . . . just a few months old, and they killed her, Severus. As if she was nothing."
He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back, unsure of what else to do to help her. He briefly considered drawing his wand and removing those memories from her, but decided against it. He knew that would have done more harm than good in the end.
"Dad was holding her. Rocking her back and forth. I tried to reach them when . . . I didn't notice him until I saw my dad scream. I wasn't quick enough. All those years of practicing. All those sessions. They were for nothing. I couldn't even fight off some pathetic little worm who didn't even know that he had the wrong damn manor for Circe's sake!"
His heart broke listening to her. She was still badly shaken from it.
"Declan came in sometime after. I don't know when. I honestly couldn't tell you. The next thing I knew I was waking up in St. Mungo's with Albus Dumbledore sitting beside my cot."
Severus inwardly tensed as his eyes narrowed into slits.
"He told me what had happened. That Dad and I were the only . . . about Jezlyn and Mum. That Declan had saved us. I wanted to see Dad naturally, but he said that Dad didn't want any visitors."
That bastard! He would break the man's nose the next time he saw him. How could he not let Aurora see her father after that? Didn't the old man have any sort of heart? Oh, whom was he kidding anyway? It was Albus Dumbledore he was talking about after all.
"He told me how there was evidence stating that you were in danger. That there was a group within the Ministry who wanted to harm you. He asked me if I would be willing to put my anger to good use. And I accepted. I . . . I couldn't say no. Not after . . . I couldn't."
The man would be unable to walk, let alone breathe after Severus was finished with him. Damn Dumbledore! Didn't the man see the harm he inflicted? How his meddling affected others? Of course he didn't. The man cared very little for others, regardless of his cheap ploys that were to help the so-called Greater Good, which Severus was beginning to suspect was only Dumbledore in his mind.
"It was little things at first. Run an errand here or there. Go to the Ministry to talk with Kingsley. Hang around the Aurors. Observe. But then he wanted more. I told him I couldn't keep doing it. That I couldn't keep pretending I was interested in becoming an Auror, to go night after night and see the worst of the worst get off scot-free while others of lesser nobility were locked away. Kingsley could see that it was affecting me greatly. He tried being a friend, but deep down I knew he wanted more." She didn't notice that he had tensed at her words. "We were on a raid when I came across Bliss. I knew about it from university of course, but . . . It was in a flat of some wizard who was selling artifacts of some kind. I forget now. At first it was just a taste, but then I thought why just a taste when I can feel nothing all the time? So I took more. Kingsley didn't have a clue. He told me, though, one day how much better I was at handling everything. I was good, you know? Good at hiding, at all the lying I was expected to say to keep my true mission a secret." She sighed, allowing the silence to fall around them again.
He thought on her admissions for a few moments, silently mulling them over in his mind. However, his mind couldn't move past her stating that she worked closely with Kingsley. He couldn't put his exact finger on it, but he didn't like the way that sounded one bit. Perhaps it was his jealousy coming out, but he needed to know. Not because it mattered really if something had happened, he supposed, but to know.
"Aurora?" he softly said, unable to hold his tongue any longer. He needed to know if only to put his demons to rest once and for all. He pulled back from her slightly. "I know I have no right to ask this, but did anything happen between the two of you, you and Kingsley I mean?" She stared up at him through tears, swallowing but finally shaking her head a few moments later.
"No. He kissed me once, but that was it. I think he got the hint when I slapped him for it."
He nodded before he waited for her to continue.
"That's why . . . why I want to do this now. Why I don't want to wait anymore, Severus."
His eyes narrowed. Because of Kingsley? He wasn't sure if he should be happy about that or not.
"Because I love you," she said softly, staring up at him. "Because I've always been in love with you. Even if you are a sarcastic grumpy hermit of a bastard who believes that the world is full of idiots whom you're damned to share an eternity in hell with," she teased, laughing quietly.
"Sarcastic grumpy hermit of a bastard?" he repeated before he too chuckled. "Excuse me, but I prefer bastard of the dungeons whose main goal in life is to see how many students he can reduce to tears, thank you." He smiled when she rolled her eyes. "And the answer is 210."
"Only that much?" she drawled. "You're slipping, Severus."
"I admit, I've been distracted lately," he replied with a shrug before he laughed. His hand went to her hair, brushing back a few of her curls and tucking it behind her ear. "I don't follow your logic, though. Because you love me, you believe then we should evolve our growing relationship?"
"I don't want to wait anymore. I don't want to be like them. To only be with you for a few months before it's taken away. Before you're taken away."
He nodded slowly. He could understand that, seeing as he himself had thought those same things since learning about his Future self and that timeline. "I understand, but to take this step . . ."
"You think it's too fast?" He could see the hurt in her eyes.
"I think that you've been through a lot, Aurora, and that while this may seem like a good idea at first . . . and something I very, very much would like . . ." He sighed heavily. "It would do more harm than good in the end, and you'd grow to regret this in the morning." He gently caressed her cheek and held her eyes. He felt her tears splash against his hand and continued. "I want this—I do—so please don't take my words to mean that I'm not attracted to you or any of those other ridiculous thoughts you witches get stuck in your head when a man declines such a proposition. It's not that, Aurora. I just . . . I don't want our first time together to become a mistake we both wish never happened the next morning."
"What makes you think I'd regret this?"
He stared down at her before he closed his eyes and sighed silently. "Because you're emotional, rightly so considering what you've been through lately, and you're still grieving, still processing. You're . . . if I thought for a moment this would heal those wounds . . ." He licked his lips, his eyes softening on her as he saw more hurt flash behind hers. He gently grabbed her hands and kissed her fingertips tenderly, holding her hands. "I'd shag you until I was raw and then some if I thought for a moment it'd heal those wounds. I would. But it won't. It might lessen it for a bit, but in the morning, it'd come back."
"You don't know that," she argued, her eyes pleading with his. "I'm not some foolish woman who throws herself at any man, Severus. I . . . Severus, I'm asking you," she stated, staring at him. "The man I love, not some random man I just met in a pub five minutes earlier. You!"
"I know you are, but—"
"I won't regret this in the morning. I won't! What do I have to do to prove that to you? Tell me, and I'll do it. I won't regret us sleeping together. I promise. I want this, Severus. I do."
"Aurora," he started to say.
"Please!" she interrupted, grabbing his arms as if it would make him see she was being honest.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. He couldn't risk what she was asking of him. There was too much at stake not to err on the side of caution as he was. After more time had passed and she continued to show improvement, then he'd consider it. But he wouldn't give in and disrespect her by taking advantage while she was in obvious pain and grief. He could wait. He could.
She released him then and shook her head. "Whatever," she scoffed before she walked back into his bathroom and shut the door behind her, likely to finish taking her shower.
His head fell back against the wall again, and he sighed heavily. Relationships were messy. He had always been the outsider, so he could usually pinpoint where the other person had gone wrong with their significant other. But right then, he didn't have a clue. He had done the right thing, hadn't he? He wasn't so certain anymore. In fact, he wasn't certain about anything anymore.
In a matter of hours, he had gone from being a boyfriend to . . . Had he friendzoned himself this time, he wondered. With Evans, she had been the one to put him in that corner as she happily moved on to James Potter instead and left him behind in the past. But with Aurora, he was constantly pulling himself back whenever they moved forward—all in order to protect her.
He paused and lifted his head up, staring at the closed door.
What were they now? She obviously was disappointed and hurt by his refusal. However, she hadn't stormed out of the room and headed back to the hospital wing, though. In fact, she had went back into his bathroom to finish taking her shower.
His head turned to the side, as he thought on this. With the minutes quickly passing by silently, his thoughts suddenly turned dark. He had allowed her to leave without stopping her. Wasn't he supposed to stop her? To fix this? Wasn't that what people in love did? He didn't want to lose her after all. He also didn't want to suffocate her either.
Raising a hand, he paused when he about connected with the closed door. What on Earth was he doing? She was taking a shower. That was it. Nothing bad was happening. Nothing Earth shattering at least. He had hurt her yes, but they were both adults. And it couldn't have been the first time a man had declined her request. Could it?
"Oh screw it!" he grumbled, finally throwing caution to the side. He raised his voice and yelled through the closed door (loud enough for her to hear but not loud enough that it'd wake Harrison), "I'm coming in, Aurora." He turned the knob and stepped inside, the humidity instantly suffocating him. Did she have to take such hot showers? It was as if he was in the Sahara Desert right then.
"Go away," she sniffled from the other side of the shower door. It was obvious that she had been crying more after she had left him, which made his chest hurt even more.
"No. Not until we discuss this like rational adults."
When the shower door opened unexpectedly, he winced and kept his eyes downcast to the floor where he found her soaked dress and sandals . . . and silky bra . . . a very familiar silky bra in fact, only this one was crème-colored and the other was black. It had been Aurora's bra he had tripped on that day in Demetri's flat, he realized.
"Excuse me? Like rational adults? Tell me, Severus. Do rational adults normally burst in and interrupt one another when the other is taking a shower? Because if so, then I'm clearly an irrational adult as I'd never interrupt you in the shower."
She had a point. He was acting rather foolish.
"Or what?" Her voice grew colder and hardened. "Did you think I was trying to hurt myself in here? Use your razor or something?"
"No. Never," he replied, his head jerking upwards and his eyes finding hers.
"Then why in the hell are you—"
"Are we still romantically involved with one another?" he burst out asking, grimacing when he caught her astonishment. Of all the things she thought he was going to say, that was clearly not one of them. He sighed and began speaking to dissipate the ugly silence. "I only ask because you left and—"
"I left to take a shower, Severus, which you suggested, remember?"
"Yes, but in the manner which you did, I—"
"You did what you believe is the right thing and told me no," she cut in again. "It's a stupid belief, mind you, but it shows how much of a good man you are to want to respect me like that. Why?"
So, she hadn't broken up with him? Oh. He rubbed the back of his neck and felt more foolish than he had ever felt. He was a certified dunderhead. No doubt about it.
"Severus, why do—" The rest of her question was cut off by a panicked yell as she slipped and fell backwards.
His hand instinctively flew up, and he felt his magic react to what was happening. A second later, she crashed against him as he had summoned her to him. His arms wrapped around her protectively while he braced himself to stay upright. When he was certain they were both safe, he sighed heavily and closed his eyes. That had been too close.
"Thanks," she murmured, gasping as she fought to get her breathing back under control.
He opened his mouth to speak, only to close it when he inhaled deeply and smelled his soap on her. He was quickly reminded of her lack of clothing then and noticed how wet he was. He licked his bottom lip again and tried to speak again.
"Severus?"
"Yes?"
She squirmed slightly against him, and he bit his cheek to keep from groaning. A wave of pleasure shot through him from just a little bit of movement by her.
"That's not your wand, is it?"
He glanced over her to the mirror before his eyes quickly darted away at seeing her backside. He could feel himself grow even more uncomfortable.
"No." His wand was still in its holster. He heard her soft laughs and glanced down at her. He was glad she was amused by his predicament. She had been the clumsy one who had nearly cracked her skull open in his shower after all.
"What if we come to a compromise then, Severus?" she asked softly, a gentle hand resting against his chest.
"A compromise?" He frowned briefly, thankful to have the much-needed distraction. "What sort of compromise?"
"Since you nixed my sex idea because once again you have to be Mister Prince Charming instead of your usual bastardly self," she said with a quiet laugh, "what if we cuddled instead?"
"Cuddled?" he repeated. It wasn't the worst idea he supposed. Hold her while sleeping or at least attempting to? Of course, he had a reputation to maintain so he couldn't just agree after all. "And what makes you believe I am capable of this, Sinistra?"
"Honestly? Not a damn thing, but I'm told you like a challenge and, well, learning new things," she teased back. "Though, I admit I'm not holding out any hope where this is concerned. Nothing about you screams Cuddle Master."
He snorted before he allowed his arms to lessen his hold on her and naturally move to her waist.
"Perhaps that's because I haven't found the right witch yet, as I keep falling for one who seems to be as graceful as a baby giraffe." He chuckled when she poked him lightly.
"Hey! Don't go blaming this on me, Snape! If you weren't doing a perfect impression of a creepy love-sick stalker, I wouldn't have fallen."
"Oh, yes, it's clearly all my fault," he drawled, relaxing even more in her embrace. "It's never the witch's fault ever. How could I so foolishly have forgotten that?" He smirked when he felt her laugh against him. The air was lightening up again, as was their mood. "A witch is never wrong, unless she is, which you are in this case."
"Am I?"
"Yes. You are." He lowered his voice slowly. "I'll have you know that I have my mastery in not only Potions but in cuddling and other specialties regarding the sensual arts." When she burst out laughing, he joined her and chuckled deeply. He so badly wanted to kiss her again, to taste her, but he resisted just barely.
"The sensual arts?"
"Indeed. They're a very dangerous discipline, full of—" His words vanished on his tongue when she stood up on her tip-toes and captured his lips with hers. He breathed in deeply, pulling her closer and in fact picking her up off the ground as he groaned inwardly. When he set her back down a moment later, panting heavily, he looked down at her. His mind was mush. The only thought he had now was how he badly wanted to be with her. To make her his fully and completely.
"You talk to much," Aurora murmured, her arms wrapping around his neck.
"So I've been told," he replied just as equally soft.
"We'll do it your way tonight and no sex. All right?" She smiled as she ran a finger down his jaw, leaving behind a hot trail of warmth where she touched. "And we'll wait and just cuddle until I have to return to Pomfrey and her cage again. We only have the rest of our lives, don't we? Surely, we can wait a bit longer . . ."
Merlin, he loved this woman.