Nonsense Advice appeared in Master Hand's office. All the Smashers stood in reverence. They had just gotten the half-minute man bonus on their first match.

"Nonsense Advice, I , Master Hand, bestowe upon you, by the authority of the Hands, membership to Super Smash Bros. Melee."

Donkey Kong stepped forward, towering over even Javi, who was a impressive six-feet tall.

"Of course you realize what this means."

Donkey Kong let out his signature roar.

"PAAAAARTYYYYY!"

Master Hand had organized a huge party, with streamers and a ginormous cake. (Note: I reserve the right to make up words.)

Master Hand must have done some research because Javi's favorite food was there in abundance: calamari.

"Now-a there's someone who appreciates good-a food-a!" said Mario.

Actually, everyone's favorite foods were there. Donkey Kong enjoyed heaping plates of golden bananas, and Kirby sucked in plates of Kawasaki's specials. There were piles of fruit for the Pokemon and Yoshi. And no matter how much they ate, more kept coming.

Even after everyone finished eating, Javi, Donkey Kong and Kirby kept on eating. And eating. And eating. Blanky and Mutsy groaned as they realized what was happening.

"What is it?" Samus asked.

"Javi's gotten into another eating contest! Last time, we got a restraining order from three Crab Houses…in three different states! In two hours!"

"Ugh." said Captain Falco, "I can't imagine eating that much. I've gotta fit into the spandex, ya know?"

"We'll have to wait it out."

"You don't get it," interrupted Samus. "Kirby does not like having his title as the Eating Champion of the Mansion challenged. Last time Yoshi tried, we found him tied up in a basement three months afterwards. Worst of all, it was the basement where we keep the Mister Saturns!"

"Meeeeeeeh!" squeaked Yoshi, which roughly translated to, "The Horror!". He then proceded to curl into a fetal position, rocking back and forth.

5 hours later…

"It's like a train wreck. You want to look away, but you just can't." commented Fox.

The display of gluttony had attracted the whole mansion. Mr. Game and Watch buzzed.

Blanky looked at him, and did the strangest thing. He falattened out on the floor, his eyes and mouth disappearing, then stood up on one edge. Now HE started beeping and buzzing much like Mr. Game and Watch. Mr Game and watch replied in a loud buzz, and Blanky and Mr. Game and Watch (MAN is that a long name.!) were in a heated reparteé that sounded like a twenty-one beeper salute. Eventually, Blanky returned to his normal state.

"YOU SPEAK MR. GAME AND WATCH!" Shouted Roy, who had been the most bothered by Mr. Game and Watch's constant buzzes and beeping. He had even developed a nervous tic in his right eye because of it.

"For your information, the language is 2D and anyone flat can undersatand it. It's my native tongue. It just sounds like beeping to you because you're on a completely different dimensional plane. Mr. Game and Watch here actually has a very large vocabulary."

"Oh." Roy seemed deflated.

"What did he say?"

Javi and Kirby's eating was so bizarre it had even attracted Master Hnad.

"Well, first we talked for a while about Javi's eating habits, then I told him my life's story, Mutsy's and Javi's, and he told me his.Then we just went into general chit-chat."

"What? You were only talking for about five minutes." Master Hand knew a lot about other dimensions, but this was new to him. It. Whatever.

"2D is a lot faster than any 3D language."

"Can I learn?" Roy really wanted to understand the non-stop computer noises.

"Get stuck in a paper press and we'll talk."