Standing There By You
Ch. 38- Confounding Conduct and Hilarious Hoaxes
Disclaimer: Nope, non lo possiede
A/N: Special thanks to dulcis for all her awesome suggestions and last minute betaing, I forever bow to her greatness. And I hope Jill breaks many legs.
"I'm bored."
James picked at his bed-curtain. "Sorry to hear that, Sirius."
"I mean, really bored."
James plucked a loose fuzzy from the thick material. "Oh," he said simply, observing the fluff from several different angles.
"Astoundingly bored."
James let the whisp of cotton fly down onto his bed. Still watching it, he replied, "Let's go work on the Animagus potion, then."
Sirius shook his head. "It's still brewing."
Frowning, James watched as his source of amusement floated to the floor. "Go take a trip to the kitchens."
Sirius sighed. "I'm not hungry."
James started, looking up abruptly in concern. "Are you sick?"
"No," Sirius kicked the side of his bed and rocked back and forth. "Just bored."
James threw his friend one more glance to make sure he wasn't afflicted with a strange disease. Satisfied he hadn't turned into a fluffy dish towel or anything of that abysmal sort, he turned back to the curtains in search for some other form of entertainment. "Do you want to play chess?"
Sirius frowned. "No."
"Pull a prank?"
"No."
James lifted a brow. "On Snivellus?"
"Sure!"
James groaned, feigning irritation as Sirius hopped around happily, dragging him out of bed. "All right, all right, I'm coming. What do you plan to do, anyway?"
Sirius paused for a moment, lingering between James and the doorway. A thought struck him, and holding up a finger to signal for him to hold on, Sirius darted into the closet.
James watched with curiosity as his friend clambered around in their small closet, and after several squeaks, chimes, and explosions, walked back into the room.
"Well come on, then," Sirius beckoned, arms full of a variety of pranking supplies. "Let's go."
Scratching his head in wonder, but not bothering to ask, James followed his very odd friend out the door.
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Grace held her hands out to balance her, placing one foot over the other as she walked along a collection of rocks beside the lake. "Julie, I'm telling you, Professor Fluents' hair is totally fake."
Julie watched uneasily as her friend wobbled a bit on an uneven stone.
"No!" she replied, giggling. "How do you know?"
"How could I not?" Grace admonished, hopping down onto solid ground. She turned to Julie and widened her eyes. "I swear it's different than last year. Maybe he was part of a horrid potion experiment gone wrong, or something."
As they neared the school's entrance, Julie shook her head. "I don't think so... He doesn't seem the type."
Grace sighed as they climbed the front steps. "Well, I suppose there's only one thing we can do."
"What?" Julie asked curiously, as she followed Grace back into Hogwarts. "What do you mean-"
"Well we've got to ask him ourselves," she replied simply, giving Julie a gentle shove down the hall. "There he is now," she raised her voice, "PROFESSOR FL-"
"No!" Julie shrieked, ducking out of Grace's grasp. The Potions professor heard the commotion however, and turned briskly around. Spotting the two young Gryffindors, he narrowed his eyes and paced towards them.
Julie retreated slightly, but Grace remained casual and calm. "Hello professor!" she greeted cheekily.
"What are you two doing out on the grounds this late?" he demanded.
Grace's smile stayed put. "What are you doing on the-"
"It's only seven o'clock," Julie pointed out hurriedly, doing her best to speak above her friend's big mouth.
Grace spoke up before the professor had the chance to reply. "Actually, we're glad you're here. You see, Julie doesn't believe that you have-"
"Have a dog!" Julie cut in, gulping at the professor's suspicious and livid face. She added meekly, "You just... just strike me as more of a cat person, is all."
He crossed his arms, turning his head to stare at each of the girls in intimidating silence. "Actually," he finally drawled, "my preference would be a guinea pig, if you must know."
Grace and Julie didn't quite know what to do with this information. "Well that's nice," Julie hesitantly replied. "I've heard they're uh, excellent companions."
Grace still stared at her professor with a contemplative air. "Oh!" she finally spoke, eyeing his silky brown locks and grinning resolutely. "They've got all that luxurious fur, no? All natural..."
Julie covered her mouth at this comment, trying very hard to conceal her giggles as a yawn. "We're tired," she managed to gasp, grabbing Grace's arm and yanking her away from their confused professor. "Goodnight!"
Their laughter echoed down the corridor as they hastily made their way back to their dormitories, and barely even noticed when Lily joined their side.
"What are you on about?" Lily asked, smiling at her friends' content and laughing faces.
"Where did you come from?" Grace asked, her chortles decreasing.
"Yeah," Julie nodded from the other side of Grace. "I thought you wanted to resign to bed early."
Lily shook their questions off. "I just-"
"Miss Evans," a voice boomed down the hallway. Grace and Julie swiveled around to see Dumbledore's towering figure heading their way. Lily, however, only increased her speed.
"Ah, Miss- Miss Evans, please," the Headmaster tried again, quickening his pace as well.
Lily heaved a groan of frustration and hastened her walk to a near jog. "You've already talked my ear off enough for one night, sir," she addressed him with a tone of impatience.
Grace and Julie hurried along to continue next to her, mouths gaping. "What's going on?" Grace questioned incredulously. She and Julie glanced at each other with matching expressions of shock; Lily had never talked back to a professor, let alone the Headmaster.
"Nothing," Lily shrugged them off. Turning to see Dumbledore had disappeared somewhere back into the shadows of Hogwarts, she slowed her pace back to normal and shook her head. "I just don't have time for that barmy old fool's blubbering nonsense."
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"You're not supposed to be down here."
Sirius looked down to see a scarlet haired boy, no older than 11, staring up at him with narrowed grey eyes. James was wandering on the other side of the hallway, in search of the common room entrance.
Sirius looked amused, but just on the edge of irritation. "Oh yeah, who says?"
"It's the Slytherin corridor," the boy replied, his voice surprisingly pompous for a child. "I'm a Slytherin, and you're not."
Sirius stared at him for awhile, before squatting down to match his height. "I wouldn't be to proud of that if I were you," he whispered, before standing up to prove his towering stature in comparison to the small boy.
The Slytherin first year scowled back at him. Rolling his eyes and shaking his shaggy black hair, Sirius turned away from him and moved back towards his friend.
James shrugged his greeting. "I don't know where the blasted thing is. We'll just have to wait for him to come out."
"Aren't you gone yet?" the pestering boy questioned, at Sirius's heels once more. "We don't want Gryffindors on our side of the school."
James smirked, viewing the far from pleasant boy for the first time. "Gryffindors can go wherever we please," James informed him. "It's you Slytherins that have to watch your step."
The young boy glowered. "I'm going to get a prefect-"
"No you won't," James shook his head.
The boy pressed on. "Yes I will, they're right inside.. Hey!"
James and Sirius shook with laughter at the entertaining site before them. "I'd like to see you go fetch a prefect now!" James hooted.
The young Slytherin gaped at his stock still feet, and then felt his arms to see if they had paralyzed as well. He found they hadn't, and that only his upper body was mobile. "Change me back!" the boy demanded. When the older boys only continued laughing, he admonished, "My feet are hardening, what-"
"Yes, very hard," Sirius nodded.
James grinned. "Like a rock!"
The moment he said this the boy's feet and lower legs turned a greyish sort of color, and began to crust around the edges. Moss fastened around his ankles and curtained his shoes. "Change it back!" the boy squealed. "I can't move my feet!"
"Sure you can move them," said Sirius, glancing down the hallway as if the scene was starting to bore him. "Go on, they're just a tad heavier."
The boy looked back at him angrily with a disbelieving glare, before resigning and testing his transformed feet. He found that he could move... If he hopped with all of his might and steadied himself wearily every other second. Finding no other option, the boy hopped in the opposite direction, tripping over the dangling moss every few feet.
"Annoying little bugger, wasn't he?" James commented, watching as the boy tripped down the corridor.
Sirius nodded in agreement. "He-"
"Hullabaloo!"
Sirius cut off, doubling over in pain as a large popping noise echoed across the hall and pain streaked across his abdomen. His hands felt the front of his robes and found bubbles forming in the skin around his naval. Looking up in horrified shock, he was met with a seething Severus Snape, wand pointed out in front of him.
Sirius let out a string of curses, ignoring the pain and reaching to grab his own wand as James did the same.
Before Severus had a chance to hex James as well, the feisty Gryffindor pounced in front of him and shouted a leg-locker curse, just as Sirius yelled Furnunculus.
Snape grew rigid, falling hard on the stone floor. Boils from Sirius's curse formed around his hairline and collarbone, his expression a mixed look of frustration and horror as they continued to grow and he still remained immobile.
"Hexing me when my back's turned, eh Snivelly?" Sirius said, still wincing at the continuous bubbles along his stomach. "Now do you really think that's such a good idea?"
"You hexed one of my housemates," Severus spit. "You-"
"Now what do you think we should do to him?" James asked, glancing thoughtfully over at Sirius. In doing so he realized his friend was still writhing in pain. "Oh, you okay mate?"
Sirius nodded grimly. "Yeah, just hurry up."
James turned back to the fixed form of Severus. Crossing his arms, he asked, "Are you fond of closets, Snivellus?"
"...So grab your respective goggles, and you may begin."
The fourth years hastened to grab a pair of the wide-rimmed protective glasses, hopping over haphazardly placed potted plants and ducking under fast growing vines.
It was the first muggy afternoon of the season, a sure sign spring was well on its way. The Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors had gathered reluctantly for this highly eventful class, the sticky air of the greenhouse thickening the air with humidity and an all around uncomfortable atmosphere.
Lily swatted loose strands of hair away from her neck, and fastened on her goggles. "Should be an easy day," she commented, glancing at the labeled plants in front of her.
"Yeah," Julie agreed. "Easy, but sticky."
Beside her Grace sighed, trying in vain to knot her hair up. "I wish I'd brought a scrunchie," she said woefully.
Julie shrugged slightly and curled her fingers around a fallen and dried vine. "Here, try this."
Grace took the plant gratefully and tied it around her hair. "Thanks!" she said cheerfully. Once the task was completed, she leaned over Lily and helped sort the plants. "Oh, I think you've got the Binoct and Salve mixed up," she informed her, and rotated the pots to the correct positions.
Lily shook her head, and switched the plants back to their original order. "No, I was right the first time."
Grace glanced backwards at Julie and they shared a look. Their friend had been acting rather strange as of late, everything seemed to set her off and her usual actions now proved unorthodox.
"Lily," Julie started wearily. "I'm pretty sure-"
"Okay, now we've got to fill the plants with this stuff," Lily continued loudly, either ignoring her friends' corrections or not listening to what they had to say. "Here," she said, lifting a lumpy bag marked in what seemed a foreign language. "You hold the pot and I'll pour."
Julie glanced over at Grace, who just shook her head and reached to hold the pot. Out of the corner eye, she saw her friend mouth, "Completely crackers."
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James rolled up the arms of his robe, effectively dirtying the black fabric with the crumbly substance they had filled their pots with. He craned his neck to look at Sirius. "So, you think he got out yet?"
Sirius shrugged, a grin playing across his lips. "Nah, he's not smart enough. Unless somebody found him."
Remus shook his head. "I don't even want to know."
Peter looked up. "I do," he said. "What happened?"
"Eh, nothing," Sirius said, standing up next to James and grabbing a large pot. "Just taught ol' Snivelly a lesson."
"Oh," Peter nodded, smiling along with them. "That's good."
"This is dumb," Sirius grumbled, setting down the bag halfway across his trip and letting out an impatient huff. "I mean, what's the point?"
"The point is," Remus grabbed the bag and carried it completely to the correct destination, "that it's our grade. You know, those things we receive every semester?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Big deal."
"Mister Black, Mister Potter, and Miss Evans," Professor Sprout's voice rang throughout the greenhouse. The three beckoned raised their heads in her direction, and saw her holding several sheets of parchments and sending off a young first year, that by the looks of it appeared to be serving as a messenger.
James and Sirius looked at one another, and then strode up to the head of the class as one. "From Dumbledore," Professor Sprout informed them, handing a leaf of parchment each it was addressed to. "Requests your presence in his office, I'd assume."
James's mouth dropped open as he and Sirius trod back to their stations. "He told," he exclaimed in a whisper, "Snivellus told!"
Sirius shook his head, scowling. "The no good prat."
"Oh he'll pay," James assured his friend, as they reached their group and scooped up their supplies. Twisting around, he knocked a neighboring station's plant over and the contents spilled all over the ground. "Let's go," James said, oblivious to the mess he had created. His friend nodded and the two headed out of the class.
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"Oh," Julie groaned, grimacing when her foot hit a grainy substance that littered the floor. She turned to Grace. "Was this our plant?"
Grace wiped away a smudge of dirt on top of her forehead and looked over. She sighed. "Yeah. Must've been one of those stupid boys."
Julie shook her head and squatted down beside the mess, grabbing a clean cloth in the process. Looking up, she spotted Lily returning from the teacher's front desk. "Hey Lily, can you hand me that brush?" she asked, pointing to a bristly cleaning supply.
"Sure." Lily grabbed the object and tossed it to her friend, before busying herself with the rest of the assignment.
Grace swept up some scattered clumps of dirt so they landed nearer to Julie. "Need help?" she asked, beginning to stoop down beside her.
Julie waved her off. "No, I'm almost done."
Grace nodded and straightened back up. "All right." She turned to Lily, who had placed on her goggles once more and continued potting the plants. "What did the note say? Aren't you supposed to be going down to Dumbledore's office?"
Lily shook the fast emptying bag, ridding of even the last bits of dirt. "Nah," she said, opening the next bag and replacing the pot with another. "It was nothing."
Grace frowned, and peeked over at Julie who had also looked up from her stooped position. She began tentatively, "Do you think we could maybe... see it?"
"Nope, sorry," Lily replied lightly, digging her fingers into the crumbly potted dirt. "I've already fed it to that plant."
As if on cue, the plant Lily had nodded towards let out a loud burp, followed by a content sigh as it nestled back into its pot. Grace turned to stare strangely at her friend, astonished and worried by her extremely peculiar behavior. She squinted her gaze into the girl's intense emerald one. "Are you sure you're Lily?"
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"Sir, I'm sure he didn't tell you the whole truth-"
"I swear we only hexed him in defense-"
"If he said anything about a closet, he's completely making it up-"
"He knew what was going to happen-"
"We lost the key, really-"
Dumbledore didn't have to say anything to cause their chattering to cease, but only stare with a particular dignified look and in a moment they were silent. He peered over them carefully, causing a disconcerting feeling that he could witness and read their thoughts with ease. He leaned forward in his chair. "Mister Snape has only informed me of the reasoning behind a first year's peculiar state. He's said nothing of a closet."
James and Sirius froze. "Er... right," Sirius finally spoke up. "Well like I said, if he did it would've been rubbish, so you see-"
"That's enough, Mister Black," the old Headmaster said wearily. He turned his gaze to meet James's, and then back towards Sirius. "Well if neither of you care to explain the truth, I'll have no choice but to cast you a month of detentions."
Sirius shrugged, and whispered, "So long as they're not with-"
"Professor Fluent has so kindly agreed to take care of this. You are to report to his office tomorrow, immediately after the dismissal of your last class."
James's mouth dropped open. "A month with him? There's no way-"
"Where there's a will, there's a way," Dumbledore proclaimed, his eyes gleaming cryptically. "Now if I were you two, I'd get some sleep. You have got a long month ahead of you."
A/N: The list of recommendations, by popular demand, can be found at the bottom. I only added the ones people have given me ending with chapter 36, because my head hurts and I can't copy and paste anything else. But I still really appreciate them nonetheless. Okie doke... I told you it took up a lot of space... so please don't yell at me : )
Dreamlessnights- Lol, well if she didn't bite them before, she bites them now ; ) Thanks for the review!
Secret Lily- ::Ahem:: I apologize in advance for this extremely lame joke. Yupyup, you're right, Remus is a very purple person. And Grace is also a very purple person. Let's just hope a Purple-People-Eater doesn't come along and snatch them up! One eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater...
EW4eva- James, James, oh James. Very thin in appearance, but very thick in mindset. What shall we do with him? I know what beta would do with him... wink wink. Thanks for the review!
Padfootz- I'm very happy you enjoyed it, thanks as always for the reassuring review!
MissBlueAngel- Hm... Sorry I didn't update tomorrow. But really, it is tomorrow. In some place, for some people, for some day... Thanks for the review!
JKRobssessed- Hehe, nice penname. Yeah, I went through this phase (okay it was like two weeks ago) where I updated just about every other day... but recently it's down to one a week, cause of school, tennis and all that junk. I'm glad you liked it though, thanks for the review!
FreckledIrishMaiden- Perplexing, nice word. Glad you liked James and Lily's 'confrontation in the common room' (I don't know why I quoted that, no one's ever said it before... It just looks more professional, no?) Thanks for the reviews!
Ninde Annare- Your inspirational words guide me through each chapter, thanks endlessly, and as always, much appreciated.
Molly- You know, I'm jealous of her too. Let's just omit her from the story, and add ourselves in! Oh wait... I've already done that. Hehe... (that's meek laughter) I'm happy you liked it so much, thanks for the awesome review!
Curiousknowitall- Ack, don't be mad at Sirius! It's just his nature... Just his friend harassing taunting and teasing nature. : ) Wow! You sure do know a lot of books. I've already finished my summer reading (yet to do the projects, though...) but thanks! Aw, that snitch is so cute, but it won't let me do the little wing part, drats. Thanks though!
Siriusismine- Buona fortuna con il teatro e Joey.
Imperishable Stars- Hello! Thanks for the recommendation, you make it sound great so I'll try to check it out. Hehe yeah... Lily and James are coming up soon, so hopefully it won't be anymore forgettable! Thanks as always for the fantastic review!
Gaby-Malfoy- You know, intriguing is just about the hardest word to spell. In fact, I just put it through spell check just to make sure.. hehe. Thanks for the great reviews, I'm glad you enjoyed it : )
Dance-flirt- Oh no! I hope you got the bug. Ah, I love that part! She throws him over her shoulder and badabam! Oh, the Gypsies were great, too. I'm glad you liked the 'purple' line... lol I'd have to admit, I knew that sometime or another my purple obsession would seep into the story. Thanks for the review!
Mistyrious- Oh my, you're much too flattering. : ) No, alas I am not that fantasy goddess, although I really wish I were... You were very enthusiastic in your last review, hehe. Thanks though, I really appreciate it!
Khasmin- I'm happy that you're enjoying this, thanks so much for the great reviews!
Libby Bird- Thanks mucho for the incredible reviews : ) Let's see, you're questions... Well Sirius, he just strikes me as a beater sort. Vents his anger a bit, you know how that goes. Actually, truth is my views have changed a lot since I first started this fic... there's loads that I'd change, and that just might be one of them. Hmm what else.. oh, do I use the wrong words? Could you be more specific, cause while I'm sure you're correct, I don't really know what you're referring to. Ooh glad you like the Latin spells : ) It's nice when somebody takes notice of little things like that.
Dulcis- Now, don't expect four review responses, you. Hehe you're so funny. Thanks for the multiple reviews, I think you very well got your point across. Hmm... over-descriptive, you think?
Ieyre- Aww it's not completely lame... ::sigh:: Fine, side with James. We (me and Lily) see how it is. Humph. Hehe.. just joshin. Thanks for the review!
Irgova- Yay, I'm glad you like! It's always wonderful to get new readers, thanks for the review!
Californiagurl- Eh, it's all right about the dwindling of Lily Enchanted, I understand lost muses. I'm glad you liked the realisticness, thanks mucho!
DobbyGrl- Cute penname. I'm glad you liked the beginning, let me know how you feel about the rest! Thanks for the review : ) Ooh you just reviewed again! Hehe, thanks bunches, I'm glad you like it so much!
Charmed4ever- Hehe I'll do my best to achieve that greenness. Oh, and I have a question. Why don't you just use author alert on stories, so you don't have to keep checking your log-in screen? That way it just e-mails you whenever a story you put under alert updates. Well, thanks as always!
Romulan Empress- Your review bugged me! Hehe... well not really, but it's irking me because I can't find the blasted line quoting 'fluffy precipitation'! I've skimmed it several times now, ::sigh::. You read Harry Potter? No... Lol, thanks for the review!
Sblomie- Oh, I'm always happy to hear I could make somebody laugh : ) Sorry about your hammering madre, but I understand about that. Thanks for taking the time to review anyway, it really made my day!
Misakichi1- Wow, you know what? Delusional is an excellent word to describe James! I updated as soon as I could, thanks so much for the fantastic review!
Warrior of Tortall- Keep writing? I shall. Thanks for the review!
Pline- NO! Capital N Capital O! Lily does not like dear old James, by any means. I've always figured her to start have feeling for him in their last year, too, because that's what JKR insinuates. Well now that we've got that cleared up... thanks for the review!
Sapphire039- Wow, I love you!! Okay... Now you probably find me extremely odd, but really, I do! I just clicked on your name to check out your bio, and aww you say stuff about my story! (Kinda) well you say good stuff about the 'two stories in your favorites' and I really appreciate that soo much. Hehe... I clicked on the favorite stories category, waiting in anticipation to see if it could possibly be me, and alas! It was! Thanks for making my day, tootles!
AnG3L1c diVa-chan- I'm glad you like it : ) Thanks for that excellent review, I'm happy you like Grace and Remus, and don't worry, Lily and James 'stuff' will start happening soon. Notice I said 'stuff' instead of 'fluff', because you see, 'fluff' would probably not involve Lily threatening to hex James whenever he asks her to Hogmeade : ) I don't mean to make you guys wait forever or anything, but JKR did say they started going out in seventh year. Well, actually Sirius said it, but JKR wrote it. Okie doke, thanks for the review!
Sallymander- Oh yay, I absolutely love when people say I make them laugh! It's so awesome, thanks for letting me know ; ) I'm happy you like it so much, thanks loads for the excellent review!
Luna Gypsy- Se levina? Hehe.. sorry, my beta and I tried learning Slovak, and the only thing we remember is that, and we don't even know if it's spelled right. It means 'are you lazy?' which I guess wouldn't make sense to write, since you already said you are, hehe. Well anyway, thanks for the review!
Jess- Lol, yes, poor Remus. His friends are rather embarrassing, aren't they? Thanks for the review and recommendations, I've heard that series is very good : )
Ah, the list.
Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) Goddess of Yesterday (Caroline B. Cooney)
The Named (Marianne Curley) Seer and the Sword Golden Compass/Subtle Knife/Amber Spyglass
Girl With a Pearl Earring The Other Bolyn Girl
The Scions of Shannara The Blue Sword
The Lost Years of Merlin This Lullaby (Sarah Dessen)
The DaVinci Code The Pendragon series (Hale)
Shadowmancer (GP Taylor) Eragon (Christopher Paolini)
Hard Love (Ellen Wittlinger) Stormbraker (Anthony Horawitz)
Ella Enchanted (Gail Carson Levigne) Crispin (Avi)
Anna Karenina Eragon (Christopher Paolini)
Among the Hidden (Margaret Peterson Hadix) Ender's Game (Orson Scott Card)
Artimis Fowl (Eion Colfer) Crestomanci Coronicles (Diana Wyne Jones)
The Hobbit (JRR Tolkien) A Series of Unfortunate Events (Lemony Snicket)
The Supernatralist (Eion Colfer)The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
The City of Ember (Depru) Midnight for Charlie Bone (Jenny Nimmo)
Stowaway Hangman's Curse (Frank Peretti)
Bold doesn't mean anything. Just seperates.