Lena's eyes were burning for so many reasons. She organized the next visit from her doctor the day after tomorrow, well it was already way past midnight, so maybe it was tomorrow.
After the doctor left she just let go and cried on her couch. After wiping her eyes once more her sight landed on the bar. Instantly she stood up and went to pour herself the biggest glass of scotch she ever had, but with the uncapped bottle in hand she stopped. If she drank every time something was wrong with Kara, after what she had learned, she'd probably become an alcoholic.
She sighed as she put the cap back on before lowering the bottle, glaring at it. She could use the juice to forget. This was a nightmare. But Kara needed her.
She ended up drinking an ice-cold glass of water before walking back into her best friend's room.
Overlgirl knew she was laying down, her body felt so heavy, aching. She remained like this for a while, eyes closed, not wanting to get up.
Her eyes flew open as she felt something touch her hand, her head turned and she felt a knot in her throat. It was most likely because she felt so tired that she wanted to cry. She couldn't remember the last time someone spent the night at her bedside to take care of her.
Actually, yes, she could. It was her mother, but it was so long ago. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, she immediately wiped it.
Lena was asleep in a very awkward position, sitting in a chair pulled up by the bed, her upper body seemed to have dropped, a part of it resting on the bed, her head close to Kara's hands. The human body was twisted, a hand laying close to Overgirl's. Did she spend the night there? Holding her hand?
A part of her brain told her she should just push the Luthor away, right off her bed. It felt like morbid curiosity as she watched her hand slowly spread wide, and when it wasn't enough moved so her pinky was brushing against the pale skin.
She looked up so see if the other woman was waking up. Nothing.
She went back to staring at their hands, carefully moving hers until it was on top of Lena's, holding it. She let out a breath she didn't realize she had been keeping in.
She felt like transfixed as she turned the limb until she could be palm against palm, she interlaced their fingers and closed her eyes.
This is what the other Kara would have done. She had to act it out. Right?
She immediately tried to pull back her hand as she felt it being squeezed. Lena just held on a little tighter.
Kara looked up in tired green eyes, with no idea what to say.
Lena straightened up a little and winced, she was so sore. She rubbed her neck. She didn't think her mind would quiet down enough to let her sleep again.
"Are you okay?" Asked Lena with a raspy voice.
"I…" Kara felt ashamed enough of the state she was in, saying it out loud wasn't something she could do. "I've been better" She tried to smile but it looked more like a wince.
Lena wasn't sure how to proceed, first thing, Kara needed to be taken care of "Are you hungry?" This got her a real smile. "I could eat"
"Do you feel okay to get up or do you want me to bring you breakfast?"
Overgirl wasn't one to stay in bed. Not that she had been allowed. She probably couldn't do it, even if she wanted to. She had been properly trained.
She clenched her jaws as she sat up. Instantly Lena was by her side, arm behind the blonde's back to help her sit up.
Kara grabbed the brunette's arm and froze. She wasn't supposed to be the amazing Overgirl, she was the annoying Supergirl, she couldn't just push away the Luthor woman. Her doppelganger seemed to like human contacts, people in her intimate space. She managed to not make a face at that thought.
She swallowed her pride, wondering what the other Kara would do? Most likely the opposite of what she felt like doing at the moment. "Thank you"
Lena responded with a bright big smile and Kara felt something. She clenched her jaws once more, feelings were weakness. That little spark she got because she obviously pleased Lena. That was wrong.
Lena was oblivious to that internal conflict. She was so tired and worried. "It's nothing. What are friends for?" She barely paused after her rhetorical question. "Your shirt is soaked again" Once she was sure Kara was stable in a standing position, she reached out on her side, the pile of clean shirts she had brought. Put one shirt down on Kara's lap and reached for the hem of the one she was wearing and stopped.
Like a deer caught in the headlights, she looked up into blue eyes, sheepish. "I…was… I mean…I got used to changing it during the night. Too used it would seem"
Before she could let go, Kara put her hands-on top of Lena's. "I can see that" She pointedly looked at the hamper next to the bed.
Overgirl felt in power again, she was back. She smiled as she slowly lifted her shirt, keeping Lena's hand trapped, making her move with her. This brought their faces closer as she lifter her arms. It was painful, but worth it.
Lena flushed, she could feel Kara's breath on her lips, she wetted them. They were looking into each other eyes, immobile, until they started to move closer and Overgirl smirked. Lena moved back immediately. Kara didn't smirk like that. She had a beautiful smile. This reminded her that something was off, was wrong.
She cleared her throat after looking down, then away.
Overgirl sighed as she grabbed the clean shirt and put it on. So obviously her doppelganger didn't have that kind of relationship with her friend, but Lena was attracted to her. She was thrilled…because that gave her leverage, of course.
She was attentively looking at the brunette as she grabbed the sweat pants she had shed before going to bed.
Lena's eyes barely widened, but they did, before she stood up. A little too fast, she groaned. "I'll go start making breakfast" She dashed out of the room, looking as dignified as she could.
It took a long time for Overgirl to get dressed and up. She was grateful to be alone for this humiliating moment. No workout had ever left her this sore, only…when she got through some of the experiences at first. When she was young and weak.
She managed to stand up straight. She wobbled but she could manage, it was time to try to walk. She strengthened her resolve as she put a foot in front of the over. She could do it. She was Overgirl, she could overcome anything.
The progress was slow, nonetheless she succeeded. She paused on the threshold, looking at the Luthor woman move around the kitchen, mumbling to herself. Kara regretted her lack of power even more, she wanted to know what she was saying.
She didn't recall how long she remained there, just looking at Lena until she was spotted. "Kara!"
Lena removed the pan from the fire before making her way to her friend. She wrapped her arm around her, helping her to move forward.
Overgirl didn't even tense this time, it was worse, she relaxed. She shouldn't…couldn't trust this woman. She was her enemy's friend, she kept on repeating herself.
Her attention was split between being careful with her environment and looking at the raven haired woman. Lena pulled her chair for her and didn't leave her side until she was sitting.
"With the night you had I thought getorade would be better than anything else" Lena pushed the bottle towards the blonde.
Kara frowned, there were pills there too.
Lena explained as she made her way back to their breakfast. "These are some meds the doctor prescribed last night. You can look at the bottle's labels to what these do. I think it would help if you took some"
Kara gave her a look.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to of course" Told her the Luthor woman as she turned her back on her.
Kara stared at the pills before grabbing the bottles to look at the labels. She was given all the information, and a choice. It felt weird to be without her powers, yet there she felt more powerful than she had in a while, free. She was getting more and more conflicted about all this. She looked up at Lena, she wasn't pressuring her in any way, just turning something in a pan.
Overgirl grabbed the pills, thought about it one last time before throwing them into her mouth and swallowing. She grabbed the bottle labeled Gatorade, not sure of what it was, opened the lid and smelled it. She moved her head to the side, she had gone this far…it was too late. She took big gulps.
Lena went back to her with a plate. "I hope you didn't lose your appetite too much" She set a pate down in front of Kara. Eggs, bacon, French toasts, fried tomatoes with some herbs.
Overgirl forgot everything for a second, the food smelled delicious.
Lena sat next to her with a coffee and French toasts of her own.
They ate in silence, Lena smiling as she was watching Kara clean up her plate. The doctor had said it would be a good sign if the blonde was hungry, but to be prepared in case she puked it later on. It would depend on how the woman's body was reacting to the withdrawal.
Once Kara let out a contented sigh and leaned back into her chair Lena knew she needed to bite the bullet. "We need to talk"
She was annoyed that she couldn't enjoy her post meal food appreciation, she had to sit up straight again. Overgirl was pretty sure it wasn't it, but a part of her was ready to jump off her seat if she had been made, so she waited.
"What do you remember from last night?" Lena started before Kara crossed her arms in front of her. "I mean, you were pretty out of it"
"It's a little fuzzy but I think I recall most of it"
"The doctor said you might be going through withdrawal…" She trailed off on purpose, giving her friend the opportunity to add something, while taking note that the blonde nearly winced at the word doctor.
Kara was torn, a part of her was in denial, she couldn't be going through withdrawal since she wasn't an addict, but the inch in her eyes was still there. She clenched her right hand thinking she could use her drop at that moment, they'd make her feel better.
She was left wondering if she had been given the eyedrops as a way to make her dependent, put her on some kind of leach, or if it was a side effect. She felt that familiar anger blossom in the pit of her stomach. Did they betray her and took her for a puppet? She was Overgirl! More than that she was one of the last true Kryptonian, with knowledge of what it actually meant. She was Kara Zor-El.
Lena watched different emotions cross her friend's face, she seemed to settle on anger, not something she was used to seeing on Kara. Something was so wrong.
"Listen, I know I shouldn't be aware of everything, the doctor was treating you and it is supposed to be private and confidential. You don't have to talk about it. No one is forcing you. However, know that I'm here for you, in any capacity. I want to help"
Kara looked away, this woman was caring, but a bitter little voice repeated that it wasn't for her, it was for the other one, her doppelganger.
She had been taught on her earth that only weak people showed compassion, yet here was a woman who exuded power giving her space, freedom and care. She clenched her jaw as she felt her anger surge again. At her fate, at her world, at this Supergirl who seemed she had it so easy…
She looked back up into green eyes, she felt tears and blinked a few times, willing them not to fall. She was still in control.
The best way to lie was to distort the truth. "I…I felt so angry for so long and…I found something that helped. I felt stronger, like I could conquer the world…and now…" Kara trailed off as she looked away thinking about how weak she had become. All these people had brought it on to her.
"Are you okay with me be being aware of your medical conditions? I'd like to get access to your medical files"
"That's fine" Allowed Overgirl.
"Good. The doctor thinks your heart might have…that you heart could have been damaged because of…your lifestyle"
Still looking away Kara's hand lifted up to the place in her chest where she could feel her heartbeat. "I know it is"
Lena felt like her body suddenly got so heavy, like she could just fall, good thing she was sitting. "You knew?!"
Overgirl finally looked back at Lena as she heard her change of tone, these feeling she was familiar with. A little bit of anger mixed with hurt and a touch of betrayal. Was it bad that it felt kind of good? "When you found me yesterday I was walking around after leaving the hospital. I had some tests done there"
It was Lena's turn to clench her jaw, at least it wasn't so long ago. "Do you mind giving me the name of the hospital? So I can tell Doctor Portero, he wanted to run so more tests but it might not be necessary"
"St Rose Hospital" Said Kara as she lowered her arms. At that moment Overgirl did something she hadn't in so long, she lowered her eyes, looked at the table. She felt bad for causing this woman pain. It felt so wrong. Everything felt so wrong, even her own skin.
Lena stood up on shaky legs, took the two steps to reach on friend and slowly put her hand on top of Kara's and squeezed. Kara didn't move, didn't look up. Lena's other hand pushed some blonde hair behind her ear so she could kiss her forehead. "It's going to be okay" After her whisper Lena walked away, phone in hand, looking as calm as she could while she just wanted to crawl into her bed and bawl for the rest of the day, probably longer.
Overgirl couldn't stop these two tears from falling once she was alone. She looked around and felt the urge to just move her arm and wipe everything off the table. She wanted to break something! She tensed and relaxed. She couldn't. She glanced at the door behind which the Luthor woman had disappeared and sighed.
It's not that she couldn't help it. She allowed herself to. It felt weird to actually be in a place where she felt she could let herself do it. And the little voice told her it probably made her look more like her doppelganger anyway.
She stood up, glanced at that door once more before moving, she'd clean the kitchen up.
It took longer than it should have. Lena had to wait for her sobs to subside so she could make that call. Once she hung up she had to pull herself together enough so she could step out not looking like the mess she felt she was.
She took one last deep breath while she was holding the door's handle before turning it and walking out. The place was very quiet, too quiet. She got worried as she made her way towards the kitchen. Kara couldn't have left? Could she?
She walked slower, a little scared of what she might discover. She was surprised to see the kitchen in order, everything in place, counters clean, but no Kara. She turned and found her sitting on her couch, right in the middle of it, wrangling her hands. "Kara?"
Blue eyes looked up at her. "What are you doing?"
"I wasn't sure what I could…what I was supposed to do next" Kara looked around the room as she finished.
"What do you want to do?" Asked Lena as she took a seat next to her friend.
"I'm not sure"
"The doctor said it could be a good thing to keep busy for a while to avoid being temped to…" Lena couldn't say it, part of her still had trouble thinking about her bubbly best friend using drugs.
"I…I don't know" Stated Overgirl with a defeated voice. She hated herself even more as she heard herself. Pathetic.
Tentatively Lena put her hand on Kara's tight to comfort her, as usual but couldn't help but feel like this wasn't the best move when she could feel muscle contracting. This was different. Neither woman moved, they just looked into each other eyes.
Lena couldn't believe this was happening. Kara looked down at her lips and she couldn't help but wet them since it felt suddenly dry. She wanted this to happen. Lena cared for Kara more than she'd like to admit. She had been convinced the blonde was oblivious, though if she was on drugs that could explain some things.
She had dreamed about it, the ways it could take place. From innocent moments to steamy episodes in her office. She felt some heat on her cheeks and gulped.
None of it matter. This was not the right time. She was not going to take advantage of her best friend. Lena looked away to put a stop to it. She gulped and started to slip her hand away, she need to remove it from Kara's muscular thigh.
Overgirl knew what this was, even if she had never been really familiar with the the life she had, but she was pretty sure this was sexual tension at one of its highest level. She felt weak and hurt, that was just her body. Her emotions were all over the place, but the moment she was touched if all disappeared. She didn't want it to stop as she felt the hand slowly move away she stopped it, putting her hand on top of it, bringing it back to its original position.
Lena looked back at her. She looked scared. "Kara, you're in no condition to…I don't want to take advantage of this situation. I really want to help"
The voice was back, whispering all kinds of things to Overgirl. This would help, sex could make her feel better, probably better than it ever did since she actually felt a connection, in addition to the strong physical attraction. It would be so easy to push. She couldn't, for the first time in so long she didn't want to cause any pain to this person. She felt protective.
Then again Lena thought she was somebody else. Kara felt sad and angry all over again. What was she supposed to do?!
She wanted physical contact that was sure." Could I get a hug?"
"Always" Lena managed to smile as she wrapped her arms around the blonde, bringing her closer. She felt Kara's breath grow instantly faster against her neck before she started to cry. Lena put more strength into it, holding on tight, a few silent tears fell.
They remained like this for a while, not sure exactly how long, until she tears stopped for Lena. She discreetly wiped her cheeks before slowly pulling back. Kara unwillingly letting go.
Lena saw the exhaustion into Kara's eyes. "Were you falling asleep?" Asked Lena as she wiped Kara's tears with her fingers.
Overgirl licked her lips before nodding. She had this knot stuck in her throat.
Lena stood up. "Come on. Off to bed"
"Can't we just go back to cuddling. I won't fall asleep this time" Kara had felt so safe.
"Your body need to rest as much as it can. If you are sleepy take a nap" Objected Lena.
"But I just woke up" Overgirl wouldn't admit she didn't want to go back to sleep since she kept on having nightmares.
"It's normal and it's not like you had anything to do. You're on vacation and you didn't even know what to do when I asked you"
"Fine. I'll nap if you do too. And don't tell me you're not tired"
"I have things to take care of" Argue the C.E.O, which was true.
Overgil understood this weakness, this feeling wouldn't go away, she'd have to learn to deal with it. Her body was weak, her mind was trailing off. She had emotions. This Luthor woman, Lena, felt like the epicenter of some of them. Except this time, she couldn't just kill the problem, because at that instant, she needed her.
Kara didn't want to hurt Lena but she wasn't apposed to some emotional manipulation. "I don't think I'll be able to rest properly. I was only falling asleep because I felt warm and safe. With you"
Lena felt like crying, not sure if it was a dream or a nightmare.
Kara grabbed Lena's hand, looking into her eyes she pulled. Lena complied, lowering herself on her couch. In silence they laid next to each other on the couch.
Lena in the middle, while Kara was between the human body and the back of the couch, wrapping herself around the raven-haired girl. She'd keep Lena right here with her. Kara lowered her head and closed her eyes.
It had been so long since Overgirl felt like this, warm, safe and comfy. She didn't want to rouse for her duties. She groaned as she put her pillow closer to her. It wasn't as usual, it was warmer and… it was not her pillow. Memories were coming back to her as she was waking up. Lena Luthor.
Kara cracked her eyes open, her face was still in the crook of Lena's neck. She could see her pulse beat under her pale skin, then her eyes lowered. "Oh shit!"
Overgirl raised her head and wiped her mouth, before wiping the other woman's shoulder. She had drooled on her. She blushed and mentally berated herself for not being able to keep her mask on.
"Did you Miss Danvers, just curse?" Lena chuckled against her and suddenly Kara felt better.
Overgirl guessed that if Lena was reacting like that it wasn't a common occurrence. She cleared her throat. "I'm not exactly a morning person" Her voice was still raspy.
Lena couldn't help herself as she brushed some hair away from Kara's face, her other hand not letting go of her phone. Once Overgirl saw the piece of technology she glared at it. "Are you working?"
"Yes. It's funny how things get done faster when it's actually the owner of the company telling them to do it"
"Did you even sleep?" Overgirl stored that information about Lena with the others.
"For a little while. I managed to reach my phone, and since then, I got things done without disturbing you"
Kara didn't speak and just watched her napping partner send a message. " There all done for now, you can stop glaring at my phone" Stated Lena after putting her cellphone down on the coffee table.
"Sorry" mumbled Kara as she looked away, and sorry she was, for getting caught, she was usually subtler than this. This was frustrating to be off her game.
Lena didn't comment. "Do you have any idea of what you'd like to do now? Do you want to watch a move? We wouldn't have to move"
There was the duality again. Part of Kara wanted to keep on feeling like a cat, being lazy on the couch while being cuddled. While part of Overgirl was disgusted by her lethargy, she was not supposed to allow herself that kind of break. She was supposed to be a force of nature, always on the move, always doing her duty.
"Kara?" Asked Lena after a minute passed without an answer.
"Could I take a shower?" It might help to put herself together.
"Of course! You don't even have to ask" Lena got up and Kara missed the body against her instantly. She felt cold, the warmth came back a little as Lena grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "You are right. It will make you feel better"
Lena walked slowly towards her bathroom, leading Kara, keeping their hand locked together.
The bathroom was white, like the rest of this place, Overgirl couldn't' help but think that even the bathroom was bigger than some of the rooms she had to live in. That was before her eyes landed on the bathtub.
"You have a shower and a bathtub" Said Kara out loud, and they were huge. The shower was so wide, four people might be able to shower at the same time, you could probably fit that many people in square shaped bathtub too.
"I know. This is could be seen as wasteful. I love soaking into a bath after a long day, and taking a quick shower without having to climb up the steps to get in a tub is a plus when you're not completely awake"
"Could I take a bath instead?" Kara kept looking at it.
"Of course, darling" Lena let go of the blonde's hand to plug the tub and started to run the water. "I'll let you set the temperature" On that Lena walked out, she need to get some towels.
It didn't take long but when she pushed the door open she didn't expect to come face to face with a naked Kara Danvers.
She slipped but didn't fall as strong arms caught her. They both froze.
Lena's mind was running, Kara was supposed to still be fully clothed, waiting for the tub to be filled or for Lena to come back with the towels she would need. Or clothes!
Overgirl didn't move, not sure of what her next move should be. Her bare legs against Lena's sweatpants. She could feel the back of Lena's hands on her skin, trapped between the towel she was holding and Kara's torso.
Lena's mind came to a sudden stop as it connected the dots, she could feel something poking the back of her hands. It all stopped when her brain screamed: nipples!
They were both breathing hard, looking into each other wide eyes. "Are you okay?" Asked Kara.
"Yes" Managed to say Lena, she didn't know her voice could go so high.
"Should I let go?" Asked Overgirl, as she glanced down at the raven-haired girl's lips.
Lena could only hmm as she nodded this time, not trusting herself completely. This was not happening!
Overgirl thought about it, making a move and kissing her. She knew this Luthor woman would cave, her pupils were so wide there was no doubt in her mind. However, she couldn't forget what Lena had expressed before, she couldn't go against a verbalized no. "Are you sure?"
Kara moved slightly forward but stopped as Lena's eyes got even wider. Kara couldn't help but think that she looked scared. She couldn't do it and pulled back slowly, making sure the other woman was steady enough on her feet.
Lena's fast breaths just stopped as she took in Kara naked form in front of her. Her eyes went down to her very hard nipples she could still feel on her skin. The blonde cleared her throat and Lena looked up, face burning, at a smiling Kara.
Lena looked away and immediately unfolded the towel she had brought, raising it between them so she couldn't see this glorious body, her brain wouldn't work properly otherwise.
"I am sorry. So sorry. I didn't think you'd be naked already"
"It's fine. We've established that nakedness is more a problem for you than it is for me. Should I be the one to feel sorry?"
"No! No. I mean…I don't want you to feel uncomfortable" Explained Lena.
"I don't. But obviously you do. Maybe I should just get in the bathtub" She wasn't putting her clothes back on, in had been painful enough to remove them, her body was aching.
"No! The front is bad enough!" Lena's exclamation had Kara frowning before looking down.
Lena started a verbal diarrhea. "Not that you look bad, no, quite the opposite. I mean you look beautiful, it's just that I'm used to the front…not used used…I mean, I've seen it before…Not that I ogled you like a pervert of something. I've been exposed to it before, but I've never seen your butt…back! I've never seen your naked back before and I want to but it makes me feel like an actual perv. I shouldn't have said that. Oh god!" Lena raised the towel higher so she couldn't even see Kara's face anymore.
"Lena. You are no pervert. I'm telling you, you can look" Assured Kara.
The youngest Luthor knew they had to talk about this if she was to help Kara. "Looking makes me want to…touch"
There was a short pause that Lena perceived as minutes long, fearing she had ruined everything. A hand appeared and lowered the towel slightly. Kara had gotten closer. They weren't a foot away from each other.
"You can touch too, if you want"
Lena felt like she was going to have a nosebleed, she felt like she was burning. She couldn't read Kara's expression. "I can't. You're recovering from…"
"I'll be recovering for a long time"
"Kara…"
"Lena…" Smiled Overgirl as she moved closer, she could feel the other woman's breath on her lips. Lena let out a sigh, close to one of relief as their lips touched. It was slow moves of lips on lips. Kara took the other woman's lower lip between her teeth, not biting down hard, when Lena opened her mouth, she moved in. Overgirl shivered as she felt like current went up her spine. Kissing never felt like this before. Kara retreated for a second, moving in for another one she froze as Lena spoke.
"I've been waiting for you to say something for so long"
Overgirl froze, feeling suddenly cold, she could actually feel her heart and it was painful. The mood was gone as she remembered that Lena didn't really want to have intercourse with her. She was thinking about her doppelganger. It was crazy, she barely knew the woman, yet she was jealous. She wanted to have her all to herself.
"I can't. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed. I…know I might seem different…but I'm not…under any influence right now. This is the real me. I want you to get to know me all over again before moving forward in our relationship" And Overgirl moved back, grabbing the towel as she did so.
Lena's finger let go, watching the woman she loved pull back. She could see walls coming up. "Kara…"
Overgirl interrupted her. "No. You were right. We should wait. Thinking about it, maybe I'm not ready either. I want to be sure you like me, for me"
Lena nodded. "I should leave you to it then" She turned and walked out.
As soon as she was out, she leaned against the door and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes, it was like Kara's naked form was imprinted into her eyelids, more. She licked her lips. She couldn't help but ironically think that she could use a cold shower.