23 She woke up in a cocoon of warmth…

She woke up in a cocoon of warmth. Sunlight warmed her face filling the back of her eyes with warm orange colours. It felt like bathing in molten gold. Slowly she started wondering where she was, the light so bright that she couldn't open her eyes. But the smell betrayed her location: the hospital. Slowly she remembered.

After a while, she tried to open her eyes for real. The brightness of the light was inescapable. Hurtful. But then, slowly, the world came back into focus. She was not alone.

He was sitting about a metre away, elbows resting on his knees, staring intently at her. She hadn't for a second noticed his presence. Only he could be as silent as that, masking his chakra completely.

She noticed his face being ashen white, dark circles underneath his eyes in sharp contrast with the redness of them. His hair looked like a haystack. He was wearing black shinobi clothing. He stared at her, silent as a statue, all that he felt carefully hidden behind his immaculate restraint.

His whispered: "How are you feeling?" was hidden behind impassiveness.

She frowned. "Fine."

He stood to sit on the bedside. She felt the mattress dip and slowly, ever so slowly he took her hand in his. She felt the familiar callousness, his hand warm and dry. His fingers wrapping around hers reverently.

She closed her eyes. The feeling made a complex array of emotions and memories well up in her consciousness. She remembered every detail of his hand. She remembered the first time she felt that callous on her skin when he pulled her underneath the water to kiss her a lifetime ago.

It overwhelmed her. It was too much to bear and she felt the first tear leave her eye, to be followed by more. It seemed without an end and she let it all go. All the anguish, the grief, anger and sadness.

Tobirama, face carefully emotionless, pulled her towards him, making her body fall into his. He pushed her head softly in the crook of his neck, wrapping his arms around her, holding her while she cried her guts out.

It took her a long time to recover, the tears started again and again. But he sat patiently, not speaking, just holding her. After a long while she sat up and stared at him. "Tobi…."

"Hnng….. "

"It is really you…" she said in wonderment. Smiling softly.

He did not smile. "Yes….. are you ok?" his voice rumbled through her body.

The question was there again but she didn't know how to answer it: "I don't know."

He wiped a strand of hair from her forehead and tucked behind her ear. "You scared me….." he started.. Falling silent for a moment. Then: "I thought I lost you a third time. … " he couldn't finish his sentence, the idea choking him.

Suddenly the door opened, revealing Tsunade in a white doctor's coat. "Well. You are a lucky girl, no thanks to your own stupidity." she bit.

Sakura cringed.

"Have you any idea how risky that was in your condition!"

"I am sorry Shishou. I was preoccupied with other things." she shot Tobirama an angry glare.

Tsunade hmpfed, glaring at her uncle as well.

"How is my …. belly?" she feared the answer, holding her breath. But Tsunade gave her a warm smile.

"I did a checkup an hour ago when you were still sleeping and you are fine. Apart from a chakra level at three quarter capacity, you seem to be in excellent health. You are dismissed from the hospital." She looked at Tobirama and gave him a curt nod leaving the room quietly.

An awkward silence lingered in the room. What do you say to a man that you mourned for weeks, that you tried to beat into a pulp and then make him discover that you are pregnant? What do you say to your husband who has been mourning your death for a lifetime. In kami's name, how was he coping with this situation! She stared at his facade and she knew how he was coping and it angered her.

Tobirama stood and said softly. "You were dressed and washed an hour ago. We can leave now if you want? I can use hiraishin?"

She nodded at him. Slowly folding the blanket downwards. She was wearing a black shinobi outfit. "Where will we go?"

He hesitated, looking unsure. "We could go to your apartment? Or we can go to the Senju compound, my old quarters are still there. Tsunade returned them to me…"

She looked up at him surprised, tears threatening to leak from her eyes again: "Really? Can we go home then?"

Then he truly smiled at her for the first time. Calling the Senju compound home seemed to evaporate the last shard of doubt about their love that existed inside his heart. Relief washing over him, he bent down, hooked his arm underneath her legs and supported her back. The movement and her weight in his arms felt incredibly familiar, threatening to bring him to tears. .

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

With hirashin, they transported on the engawa in one swift movement that made her temporarily sick. He held her until the nausea disappeared. The garden had changed. But the engawa with the big stepping stone was still where she remembered it. He sat her on the engawa carefully. When she felt capable, she slowly walked towards the shoji doors, touching the wood to open them. He followed her silently inside.

It was like stepping in a time machine. Nothing had changed. All his possessions were still in the same place. The fuuton on the same spot on the ground. She slowly walked towards the wall with his weapons. Fingering the cold metal wistfully. She stared at it and whispered to no one in particular: "Home…". She touched her belly and felt hearts fluttering and a deep satisfaction came over her.

"Sakura…"

It was the tone of his voice that made her turn around in alarm. He stood in the middle of the room in front of the fuuton. He had held back in the woods and in the hospital. And with one look at him, she realised how much effort that had cost him.

But now he could no longer contain the emotion inside of him. He made a strangled sound, face contorted in pain and grief. And then all emotion seemed to pour out of him in long heavy sobs. He fell to his knees on the fuuton, bending his head towards the ground. She sped towards him, kneeling as well and touching him hesitantly. The moment she touched him, his hands found her and he held her almost painfully, shaking and sobbing.

"Tobirama…." she whispered his name in the dark of the room and put his arms around his neck. His despair continued and he was unable to react to her in any way. She just held him in her arms, feeling the man she loved falling apart. Her heart was bleeding for him, he must have been so alone all these years. Her own mourning lasted two months. He on the other hand, had been forced to live out his life alone, to die alone. Then he was revived, against his will, only to meet her again while she had no memory of him yet. He was forced to see her being thrown into the past all over again, losing her for a second time.

So she held him and allowed her strong warrior to fall apart and hoped desperately there would be pieces left to pick up. She realised that now their roles were reversed. This was her state of mind when he first found her, and he nurtured her to sanity and health again. She had faith in him. He was too strong to be conquered by despair or this heartbreak.

After a while, she noticed the sobbing subsided and slowly he raised his head. His red eyes met her green ones and cupped her cheeks with his calloused hands. He searched her face anxiously, kissing her lips, caressing her, crying, whispering her name, holding her. A desperate whisper: "Sakura….. I missed you more than life itself….." Then he captured her lips and it was her turn to cry, kissing him back tasting his tears, sweet and salty at the same time. "I was scared. So scared that it was all a dream. I was scared that you would reject me when you were home, surrounded by all the things that mattered to you."

"Stupid Senju. How could you think that of me?"

"It has been so many years, so many years since I lost you. The memory of what we had was fading into an ideal past. I was not sure what was the truth any longer."

And then she finally understood everything and she silently forgave his mistake since the happiness of his presence was almost too much to bear. They slowly caressed each other's skin, savouring every curve and inhaling each other's scents. From time to time he started crying again, whispering her name in her ear, until there were no more tears.

His eyes were glinting in the moonlight that seeped into the room, he whispered against her skin: "I feel like I am dreaming…" She smiled at him: "I am really here my love…. I am so sorry that you had to live your life without me…." she pressed her forehead against his. "It was only two months for me. Two months of knowing you were gone out of my life. It felt like dying all this time …."

He looked at her: "Two months?" suddenly she saw a spark of her old Tobirama: "Spoiled brat!"

She grinned at him: "Well, nobody can be so melodramatic as you! A lifetime of sorrow even over the boundaries of death and all…" she hit him on his shoulder.

"And the Uchiha brat?"

Sakura looked at him. "You must have sensed me from the moment I was back.. Did you?"

"I was there, I witnessed every … interaction…."

She felt colour hitting her cheeks. "That must have hurt… I am sorry… but there was no strategy behind any of it, no feelings. I was just cold."

"I am sorry…. Sakura….I was scared. I have missed you for a lifetime. I thought that everything we had together was a dream. That our story was merely a distraction for you from your grief over losing your own world, for losing the Uchiha. I let fear control me."

He held her tight in his arms, breathing into her hair. He still sensed the other chakra signature, marvelling at the wondrous newness of that life inside of her. Instinctively he investigated it further. And then he felt his heart skip a beat.

"Twins?"

"Yes." she smiled brightly. "You better help me every step of the way Senju. I need someone to yell at and to hit when I deliver two children at the same time."

He laughed suddenly. A clear and happy sound, his head falling back into the cushions. He snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her into his chest: "Kami, onna, I have missed you!" and he kissed her roughly.

The tenderness made way to searing fiery passion. Their looks became dark and wanting. He growled when he took her sweating body, pressing into her with force until she moaned deliciously underneath him. He was amazed that he made it until she orgasmed, and seconds after her he came undone. Panting he held her. Listening to her gasps and after a while her breathing slowed down.

He just lay there, feeling her sleep and a deep satisfaction and peace crept over him. The last time he felt this, was the last day she was with him in his own time. The world after that seemed grey and cold. The only regret that he felt in that moment, was that Hashirama had not seen him recovering from her loss before he died.

Xxxxxxx

She woke up within the safety of warm, strong arms, a steady breath and heartbeat. She smiled and slowly turned around facing him. With her fingers she traced the red stripes on his face, his eyebrows, the small lines that were visible around his eyes and mouth.

Slowly he opened his eyes, smiling. He felt 10 years younger, while he stared at her mesmerised. He still couldn't believe it, that she really was here. And she was pregnant with his children. That was the most unbelievable thing of all. He never had children. The next generations of the village were the equivalent of having children when she was gone. He never cared for it because he could not have them with her. There were some women in the village who tried to win his heart, but his heart was broken and could only be mended by her.

He could not believe that it was possible. He would be a father. If only Hashirama could see him now! He would be choking on his most loud laughter smashing him on the shoulder, spoiling the brats to no end. He smiled at her, tracing the lines in her face in return.

"You look older. More like that stupid carved face in the rocks."

"I am older. I was older when you met me, but when you left I lasted for two decades. And then I got revived as well. So you are like a kid."

She frowned. "So only now I am truly married to the Nidaime! You cannot deny it now, no more: 'Kunoichi, I have not earned that title yet' shit." she stomped his arm.

His smile faltered a bit. "Sakura…. I am twenty years older now… are you not troubled by it?"

He looked adoringly shy voicing his insecurities and she couldn't help but smile: "Silly Senju. You know I like older men." He growled, pinching her ass, only satisfied when she shrieked, making his ears peep.

"But why and how are you here anyway? How is it possible? Will you disappear like me in time?" She felt fear choking her and she unconsciously gripped him tighter. He noticed her distress and smiled softly at her.

"I will not disappear. I was revived from the dead. Hagomoro made me into flesh and blood once more. So I am truly alive and will not disappear."

She sighed in his chest. And looked at him again whispering: "Tell me what happened?"

He told her everything that happened after she left the battlefield. Sakura listened with awe to the story of his ordeal and the endgame of Sasuke and Naruto. When he told her the reaction of Tsunade and his own explanation to why he was flesh and bone, she stomped him. "You baka. Why did you meddle with your own body! I cannot believe it! We discussed that endlessly and we agreed that there were some boundaries that you would not cross!"

He looked at her seriously. "Indeed. But then you disappeared. And I went quite mad for some time." He suddenly looked away, as if looking at her triggered the despair that he felt when she was gone from his life.

She slowly caressed the side of his face, trying to get him to face her. "Tobi, don't run from those memories…. It was you who told me that it is good to relive memories, because they will become less unbearable."

He slowly looked at her, eyes full of tears. And then he broke down for the second time, softly crying in her arms. She held him and tried to whisper comforting words into his ears. And when he calmed down he whispered in her ear: "I went mad when you were gone. I gave up on life. Hashirama found me almost gone, deep in the forest. He saved me against my will and nurtured me back to the land of living. If it wasn't for him, I would have died. I am so sorry, Sakura, I could not stay strong. I just could not live without you. I was so weak!"

She held him and cried as well: "You are not weak. You have to be strong to be able to love so deeply. And we are here now. That is all that matters. We are here now and two lives depend on us."