A/n: I'm back and I am free! Okay guys, sorry about the wait; I didn't mean it- honest- and (as already stated) I am NOT giving up on this fic! I've been way busy over these past two weeks, what with finals (NOT CHEMISTRY! AHH!) and final grades (NOT CHEMISTRY! AHH!), and getting home (not 14 hours in the car with my grandparents! AHH!). So, yeah, it's been a major blast, but the good news is I didn't flunk out of my first year at college! And I got pretty decent grades, so I'm happy!
Note: Remus fans probably won't like me after this chapter. That man suffers so much, and what do I do? Well, this chapter does reference the rest of the Mauraders, so maybe you'll like that part. Hey, at least I didn't kill him (although there are far worse things than death, as you'll soon see).
And without further ado:
CHAPTER 4:Gain and Loss
She hardly seemed to care as she threw her left arm around him and started to cry on his shoulder. He rubbed her back and felt a tear of happiness escape his eye. But he couldn't stop now. He had to know. So he kept a protective arm around her shoulder and steered her around the battlefield.
Harry stopped in his tracks at the body lying on the ground.
He might have been in shock; he wanted to see her, to knowshe was okay, but the thought of him going over there and finding her…well, he couldn't imagine it.
However, before he got the courage to do anything, she moved. The bushy brown haired girl sat up slowly and grasped her wand. Harry's breathing was becoming rampant as she stood up and turned to face him.
Hermione's eyes nearly bugged out when she saw Harry, and he gave her a small smile and a shrug.
"Oh, Harry!" Hermione practically yelled as she ran to him.
He embraced her and couldn't help but cry in relief. She was okay.
"Harry, is he- is Vol-?" she mumbled into his shoulder, unable to finish the sentence.
"Yeah, he's gone," he answered, still unable to actually believe it himself.
"Oh, thank you," she whimpered, trying to wipe off her eyes with her sleeve.
"Are you okay?" he asked her as she held her hand safely.
"I will be," she said. She stole a glance at the ring on her left hand. "After we find everyone else."
He nodded and put his arm around her shoulder.
"Let's go find them."
Hermione gasped and Harry turned to look at her, his stomach plummeting. Remus was kneeling above a bloody figure. His back was to both of them, but he was visibly shaking. He was holding the limp figure's hand. Remus Lupin was sobbing over a mangled, bloodied, and dead Tonks. Fenrir Greyback lay dead a few feet away, his face covered in blood. Whether it was his own or someone else's could never be determined. Harry had to look away and squeeze his eyes shut. He heard nothing from Hermione, but she was shaking harder than ever. Harry continued on, his arm still around Hermione. He had to know and so did she.
Tonks and Remus had landed side by side as they Apparated to Godric's Hollow. Remus had flinched upon impact as he had stared at the familiar street but shook it off when the Death Eaters began to advance.
Remus drew his wand and took two steps forward before an arm reached out and grabbed his left hand. He spun around to see Tonks, her eyes sparkling in that special way that he knew was reserved only for him.
"Be careful," she whispered as she smiled softly.
He also smiled at her, a rarity for him in these dark times. "You too, Nymph."
Her nose crinkled as she scrunched her face in mock disgust. "You know I hate that name."
He merely chuckled lightly and squeezed her hand in reply.
She squeezed back and then let go as they set off to fight.
Remus was starting off easily; most of those that came to battle him first were either novices or else just very stupid (he was willing to bet on both), and they fell without too much trouble on his part. After a few minutes, however, he could feel a cold shiver run down his spine. He turned to look behind him.
A huge fleet of Dementors were making their way down the street, pausing every now and then to attack unsuspecting Auror or Phoenix members. And, as they sailed ever closer, Remus kept feeling a nag at the back of his head, telling him how hopeless this mission was, how it was impossible for a teenager to be the savior of the Wizarding World….
The Dementors were slowly floating towards him. He, however, was preoccupied with a particularly persnickety Death Eater, so was unable to take notice, apart from the fact that the sense of doubt was continually pressing down upon him like a dark shadow. Others, however, were noticing as they sent a variety of Patronuses at them. Many of the dark specters cowered in front of the white, glistening beasts attacking them, which ranged from sparkling foxes to glittering bears to shining lions.
Remus finally finished off his enemy with a Restraining Hex and turned to face some of the Dementors that had managed to escape the onslaught of Patronuses. He hurriedly tried to summon a happy thought. However, as they advanced on him, it was becoming harder and harder to do so.
Finally, he was able to settle on a thought, one so simple Remus could hardly believe he overlooked it.
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" he roared, as a dazzling white wolf emerged from the tip of his wand and pounced on the oncoming enemy.
Remus smiled as he thought of the one thing that had made his life so happy for the past year.
However, a far-too-familiar scream shattered his thoughts and shook him to the core. Remus turned to search for the source, and what he saw made his blood stand cold.
In one of the side alleys by a big house, a large, rangy man with matted gray hair and whiskers was slowly advancing on Tonks, who was grasping her side as blood flowed freely from an injury no doubt caused by the man's claw-like fingers. They were so far away from the battle that no one could see the two squaring off apart from him, thus no one could help Tonks.
Remus could not help but stand as white hot anger coursed through his body. This was the man that had ruined his life. The man Remus once felt pity for as a child. The man that was now trying to destroy his future.
Fenrir Greyback smiled at Tonks, exposing pointed teeth stained red, most likely from the blood of a previous battle.
Remus took two steps toward the two before the heat of anger was doused with a cold wave of panic. In his fear for Tonks his Patronus had lost strength and ultimately lost its battle against the Dementors.
A pair of cold, clammy hands wrapped themselves around his neck from behind. He struggled with the Dementor, but the lack of oxygen and feeling of impending doom was slowly taking its toll, making him weaker.
From what he could see, Fenrir, who was previously circling Tonks, had pounced on top of her and was taking ferocious swipes at her face, arms- mostly anything within reach. For her part, Tonks was trying and failing to put up a defense. She flailed under the man's strong arms and desperately aimed spells at him, but missed him each time by inches.
If Remus didn't do something soon, Tonks would be killed.
A new spark flared inside Remus as he fought hard against his assailant. He kicked, punched, scratched, and everything else within his power to escape and, miraculously, his fist finally connected with something. He heard a soft raspy gasp and the pressure on his neck was slightly decreased. It was all he needed.
He turned quickly so he was facing the Dementor. Rather than retract, Remus sunk his fist into the hood and heard another harsh breath as the Dementor reluctantly released him to put its scabbed hand up underneath his hood.
Remus took the opportunity to whip out his wand and yell the Patronus Charm. Whether out of anger or relief of being free, the wolf burst out of his wand with a ferocity such that Remus had never seen. It growled deeply and snapped its jaws as it attacked the Dementor head on, causing it to retreat.
Remus left the Patronus to deal with his old foe as he turned and ran to meet his new one. Fenrir was in the same position as before, but was further along with his goal of tearing Tonks to shreds.
Tonks, as soon as she could see Remus –which must have been hard for her, seeing as how both of her eyes were incredibly puffy—merely smiled with relief –again, a hard feat, seeing as how much her face had swelled—and started to cry silently.
This caused Remus to run faster and completely forget his wand for once as he tackled Fenrir and dragged him down. They landed in a heap on the ground, twisting and flailing as both tried to get in a good enough position to hurt the other one.
Remus was finally able to jump up and land a good kick in Fenrir's face. He yelped and withdrew slightly, spitting out blood and a few teeth. Fenrir retaliated by rising quickly and striking Remus on his jaw. He felt something crack but ignored it as he backhanded him in the same place he had kicked him before.
Fenrir hissed in pain and pounced on him, using his claws to scratch Remus on the face and shoulder. Remus could feel something uncomfortable sticking into his wrist, and as he tried to move his hand he realized it was his wand. His arms were pinned to his side but he was able to slowly slide the wand into his hand and aim it at Fenrir's thigh. He muttered a Reducto, causing Fenrir to jump off of him and clutch his leg, which had a large indentation in it, as though a Bludger had pelted him at full force.
As Fenrir bared his teeth at him, exposing a few missing teeth, Remus chanced a glance at Tonks.
She was lying quite still on the ground, blood pouring from her wounds. She was watching the resulting battle through glazed eyes, and her normally violently shaded hair lay limply around her face, black as night.
Remus felt his breath catch in his throat. He turned back to the battle to finish off his opponent. He aimed his wand but it was knocked out of his hand by Fenrir's Disarming Hex. Remus stepped back slightly as Fenrir smirked cockily.
As Remus stared at Fenrir's wand, he couldn't help but think about how James must have felt when faced with Voldemort's wand. Did he feel as desperate and useless as Remus was feeling just now? That the fate of the ones he loved rested solely on his survival? And how did Sirius feel before he fell into the depths of the Veil? That falling would let everyone down? That he hadn't done enough? He couldn't even help it as he thought of Peter cowering before the Dark Lord. Had he felt as scared and helpless as Remus was feeling? That there was no other alternative other than what he was facing now?
What had happened to the four of them, he wondered silently as Fenrir muttered the Killing Curse. Why did life have to happen like this? Was it always this cruel? This painful?
The green light was slowly making its way toward Remus, and all he could think about was his past. As the whooshing sound of death met his ears, he reminisced about the times before all of the deaths, before the betrayal, when they were at school. The way James obsessed over Lily, no matter how often he denied his love for her. The way Sirius could do as he pleased without ever getting into trouble— well, not too much trouble— well, not life-endangering— well, nobody was ever killed. The way Peter was always there to pipe up a good idea, the way he could virtually disappear whenever things got sticky but always showed up in the end when there was real trouble. The way they were best friends, through thick and thin.
Before the fatal curse could touch Remus, however, something miraculous happened. A bright white something stood in front of him, taking the curse and blasting into a million glittering stars and twinkles. Remus blinked and realized that it was his Patronus.
Fenrir, too, was stunned, but for a different reason. The intense light had blinded him, for he was squinting as he tried to find out where to aim his wand.
Remus used this time to recover his wand and drew it on the unsuspecting Fenrir. He turned very briefly to stare at Tonks, who still had her glazed eyes locked on the battle. Something inside him stirred as all of their tender moments swept quickly through his mind, the memories strengthening his will to do what needed to be done.
"Avada Kedavra," he said clearly and concisely, as though he were teaching students at Hogwarts. The green light connected to Fenrir's chest, and he fell to the earth with a resonating thud, eyes still glossed over, first from the blinding light and now from the darkness of death.
Remus barely took time to stare disgustedly at the dead body before turning towards Tonks.
He ran to her and slid on his knees on the wet grass to land beside her. He cradled her head and rubbed her old tears away with his thumbs. She did not acknowledge his presence, but continued to stare hauntingly towards Fenrir's corpse.
He carefully moved the hair away from her bloated face and then reached a hand to grasp hers. It was as cold as ice.
He stiffened, and slowly, fearfully, pressed his thumb against her neck, searching for a pulse.
He couldn't find one.
"No," he murmured, tears starting to well up in his eyes. He lay her head back down to press his ear against her chest. There was no steady thumping of a heart, no constant beat as blood circulated through her body, nothing.
He sobbed softly but couldn't let go of her hand.
"No," he whispered painfully. His throat felt raw, as if he hadn't usedhis voicein years. "C'mon, Nymph, wake up, yell at me, you hate that name…."
He rubbed her hand with both of his, but it remained cold, and she remained still.
"I told you to be careful! Why didn't you listen?"
His voice cracked halfway through the question. He muffled a sob.
"Wake up! WAKE UP! TONKS!"
And he sat there and cried for hours, not caring who saw him. Nothing mattered anymore.
A/n: Okay, sorry about the rather depressing ending, but dude, you lose the love of your life and I'm pretty sure that's how you gotta feel. But don't you just love 'particularly persnickety Death Eater' line? I love alliteration!
Okay, next chapter's going to come way sooner than this one did (aka I won't wait 2 weeks for another post, if all goes according to plan). And it will involve the Bill/Fleur death (sad), Fighting!Ginny, and Harry/Hermione/Ginny reunion. Oh, yeah, and Luna makes a brief appearance in the next one! So stay tuned for another chapter, hopefully this weekend!
Special thanks to my newest reviewer, buffalo1fromSalem! Yeah, I had a Calc exam, although it wasn't too difficult for me. I did okay in that class.
So thanks for reading, and please review! It's always appreciated!
diesel writer