So, after multiple reviews and a few hours of thinking! I have come to the decision to rewrite the fic, however I want to keep as much as the old one as possible! So, the first few chapters, after they have been rewritten, will be replaced with the newer ones, however I will try to keep them funny and entertaining like the old ones! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rewrite, and once again thank you for reading this fic!
Text = Spells
"Text" = Speaking
'Text' = Thinking
{Text} = Parseltongue
Chapter 1: Own Path!
It was a dark, stormy day in the small town of Surrey, England, as litres of rain fell from the sky, flooding the dim, grim streets below. It was currently July 31st, 1991, a seemingly normal day for the many occupants of the small town, however everything is not always as it seems. For in a small, rundown building not to far from the town centre, a young boy was celebrating a very special day!
Inside the old, abandoned building, in a small, rundown back room, a tall, fuzzy, orange, and white animatronic fox could be seen sleeping atop a massive tower of crates, loud snores echoing throughout the cramped room. Suddenly, a small, black alarm clock started to beep, the time 12:30 flashing in red, pixelated text, causing the fox to sit up rapidly, wagging its tail in excitement! Lolbit woke up with a start, looking around the dark, dingy room excitedly! Today was the day, today was his birthday! "Yes!" He shouted, leaping down from the tower of crates he was sleeping on, only to crack the brittle tiles on the floor as he landed! "Crap. Baby!" Lolbit shouted, picking up the tile in embarrassment. "What you done this time Lolbit!" He received a shout back, as suddenly the door flung open, as a tall, colourful animatronic clown girl walked into the room, turning on the old, flickering lights as she entered the now mouldy looking room. This however, caused Lolbit to cover his eyes, hissing in pain! "Ahh! Bit of a warning before you do that!" He stated, blinking rapidly, as if trying to get something out of his eyes. The clown girl just giggled in amusement, before taking the tile out of Lolbit's hands, placing it on a worktable over to the left. "Don't worry about the floor. Michael said he would fix it at a later date." She stated calmly, only to receive a relieved nod from Lolbit in return. "Anyway, come on! We have a whole day of birthday activities planned for you!" Baby said, dragging him out the room without a second thought.
"Happy birthday Lolbit!" That's what Lolbit was greeted to when he arrived in the main party room of the old, rundown pizzeria. Around him, multiple different animatronics were seen, all in different shapes and sizes! To the left stood a huge robotic bear, one with a metal suit, blue eyes, thin eyebrows, wearing a top hat with a purple stripe, a black bowtie, and two black buttons on his chest, as well as a set of human-like teeth. His head appears to be squarish and less bulky than other animatronics of similar design. His most striking feature, however, was the purple and white colour scheme that adorned his entire body. This, along with the light-purple colour featured on his muzzle, stomach, shoulders, elbows, knees, insides of his ears, cheeks, eye-sockets, a stripe from his top hat, thighs, knuckles from his left hand, and the top areas from both feet, made up the animatronic Lolbit had come to know as Funtime Freddy! The closest thing he had to a brother! Walking over to the bear, the two embraced in a manly hug, patting each other on the back in the process. "Well hello there birthday boy! Your in a good mood today?" Freddy questioned, looking at the lively fox in surprise. "Well, what can I say? Today is an amazing day!" Lolbit said back, giving the bear a friendly grin. "He's hiding something!" Stated a strange, rabbit like hand puppet that sat on Freddy's right hand, giving Lolbit a look of suspicion. This was Bon-Bon, Freddy's best friend and all around creepy looking creature! What, with his main body being coloured a brilliant blue with turquoise on his stomach, paws, muzzle, and the insides of his ears. A red bowtie and a human looking set of teeth finishing off his design. Yeah, creepy! The lack of eyebrows didn't help either! "Sure, whatever you say! You overgrown rat!" Lolbit stated, rushing off to the other side of the room, trying to avoid a slap from the puppet!
Next up was a tall, skinny, pale human looking animatronic, one specifically named Ballora! Resembling an actual ballerina, she wears a blue leotard and a purple tutu decorated with golden orbs. She has pink, rosy cheeks with matching lipstick, blue hair, and blue nails. Her eyebrows are thin and coloured in light blue. She wears golden pearl-shaped earrings, and a pearl tiara atop her head, making her one of the most decorated animatronics in the entire establishment! She was also the closest thing Lolbit had to a mother. "Hello, Lolbit dear. Are you enjoying your birthday so far?" Ballora asked, looking at Lolbit with a friendly smile. Well, at least Lolbit thought she was looking at him, what with her eyes being closed and all. "Yeah, its great! The best birthday ever!" He stated, giving Ballora a hug in the process. "See, I told you I was good with planning parties!" Shouted Baby from across the room, giving her best 'I told you so!' look in the process. Lolbit just shook his head, before noticing a colourful pink and white stage, sitting over on the other side of the room. However, that was not what he was focused on! No, that would be the pink and white animatronic fox standing on said stage, completely unmoving! On its body, there is pink inside its ears, around its eyes, and at the tip of its tail. It has a red bow tie, much like Bon-Bon's, and long, sharp pink nails. This was Funtime Foxy! Lolbit's female counterpart, however with one major difference. She was not alive like the others! As Lolbit walked over, he sighed in annoyance, tapping the fox on the shoulder, receiving no reaction, like usual. 'I don't get it! What makes Foxy so different to everyone else!?' Lolbit questioned in his mind, as he walked away from the statue like robot, re-joining his family at the party.
As the hours continued, Lolbit and Co. continued to play games, chat, and all around have a good time! However, it was now approaching 5 am, and it was time for the cake! Now, he was not entirely sure why he was the only one who could actually taste the cake, but the others never complained about it, so he just chocked it up to being newer in design compared to the others.
"Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday Dear Lolbit! Happy Birthday to You!" The others cheered, as Lolbit stared at the massive, sparkling orange and white cake, one completely lit by glowing purple candles! 'They know me so well!' Lolbit stated in his mind, before Freddy spoke up!
"Make a wish birthday boy!" He said, as he placed the cake down so Lolbit could blow out the candles.
Lolbit thought hard for a few seconds, trying to come up with a good wish, eventually coming up with a great one in his opinion! 'I wish for a great adventure!' He thought to himself, before blowing out the candles, completely ignoring of the fact that he just produced air by blowing! I mean, they don't breathe! Just as the flickering candles died out, they heard the sound of a window breaking as suddenly, a large, brown barn owl flew face first into the cake, splattering it everywhere! All the animatronics could do was stare in shock, as Lolbit decided to make a quip about it.
"Freddy, you know we can't eat barn owls, right?" He joked, earning a laugh from the large bear in response. It was only then that they noticed the owl had a strange, formal looking letter attached to its leg!
"I'm no bird expert, but owls lay eggs right? Not letters?" Lolbit continued, making Freddy fall to the floor, dying of laughter! Baby, deciding she is bored of the stupidity, grabs the letter off the owl, noticing the address on the front, sending her into complete and utter shock!
"Umm, Baby? You good?" Lolbit questions, looking at his frozen friend in confusion, before grabbing the letter out her hands, reading the front.
To Lolbit Hadrian James Potter,
Crappy room in the back,
Circus Baby's Pizza World,
Circus Rd, Surrey, England.
"That's strange?" Lolbit states, looking at the letter in confusion. It was no secret that Lolbit had the soul of a dead child inside him, he was well aware of it and so where the others. It was just a surprise to see other people also knew! Deciding he is not going to get anywhere staring at it, he knows, he did it for about five minutes with nothing happening, Lolbit decides to rip it open, finding the strangest thing inside. "Who the hell writes on parchment!?" He questions, staring at the strange paper in shock, before deciding to read its contents! He was not disappointed.
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Headmaster: Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorcerer, Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confederate of Wizards)
Dear Mr Potter,
We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on 1st September. We await your owl by no later than 31st July.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
"Ok, what the fuck?" Lolbit questions, looking at the letter in disbelief! 'A magic school! Wizards and Witches! A guy with a really long ass name!? What is happening?' Lolbit questioned in his mind, only to remember the wish he made five minutes ago! "Wow! Wish magic works fast!" Lolbit said, earning confused looks from everyone else present. "I wished for a grand adventure! And now I have been invited to attend a school for Witches and Wizards! How cool is that!" Lolbit stated, earning many different reactions from all around the room. Ballora seemed sceptical, but seeing Lolbit's smile made her drop the issue, if only to support him. Baby and Freddy jumped up and down in excitement, earning a laugh from the orange fox, while Bon-Bon did not look pleased at all!
"So they accept you! But they don't accept me! What a preposterous idea!" The rabbit stated, giving its best effort at a British accent. Lolbit just shoved cake in his mouth, shutting him up! That is when Lolbit noticed the other piece of parchment the letter talked about, opening it up to read its contents!
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
UNIFORM:
First-year students will require:
Three sets of plain work robes (black)
One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear
One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)
One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)
Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.
COURSE BOOKS
All students should have a copy of each of the following:
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk
A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot
Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling
A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch
One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore
Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander
The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble
OTHER EQUIPMENT
1 wand
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)
1 set glass or crystal phials
1 telescope
1 set brass scales
Students may also bring, if they desire, an owl OR a cat OR a toad.
PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS
ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK
Yours sincerely,
Lucinda Thomsonicle-Pocus
Chief Attendant of Witchcraft Provisions
After reading the contents, Lolbit was definitely confused! The hell was he supposed to get half of this stuff! Deciding to reread the first letter to see if there were any clues, Lolbit suddenly realised something terrible! "They want the letter returned by the end of today!" Lolbit stated, dropping the letter on the floor, before rushing around trying to find some paper and a pen! Baby just shook her head, before grabbing the letter off the floor and reading it for herself. "So, they want you to send the letter back by owl huh. Freddy get the bird out of your mouth!" Baby demanded, as she watched Freddy try to eat the owl whole! He just sighed, before putting the now shaken owl down on the table.
Just then, Lolbit came rushing back into the room, holding a pen and paper, as he slapped it down on the table, beginning to write his answer back.
"Dear Mrs McGonagall,
Thank you for the letter and invitation to your prestigious school! I look forward to attending and cannot wait until September 1st! However, I just had one question? I am unsure of where to get my supplies I require for school and would appreciate the help in finding where I could get these supplies. Anyway, thank you once again!
Yours sincerely,
Lolbit Potter"
As he finished writing, Lolbit grabbed a spare envelope they had laying around and slid the letter inside, sealing it at the back. "So, what now?" He questioned, looking at the owl in confusion. Suddenly, before Lolbit could react, the owl took off, grabbing the letter out his hands as it left! "Huh, I guess all we can do now is wait." Lolbit stated, looking up into the morning sky, from the now broken window.
In all her years at Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall had seen some strange things. Mainly due to James Potter and his group of friends! But this letter, oh that took the cake, literally! As in the owl was covered in cake! Also, the contents were just strange. The letter in question, Harry Potters! So, here she was, minding her own business, reading through the replies from the many different muggleborns, when the strangest thing happened! An owl, more specifically a brown barn owl, came crashing through the window behind her, before landing headfirst on her desk, carrying a letter in its claws! So, she did what any sensible person would do, shove the owl off her desk, however not before taking the letter out of its claws. And that, is how she got to this moment! Mainly, the most concerning part of the letter was that no one had explained to him how to get his school supplies! Also, there was the fact that he had signed it Lolbit Potter, which she guessed was a nickname or something? In any case, she decided to take it upon herself to fix this issue, grabbing her hat from off her desk, before vanishing out the room!
At around 10.30am, Lolbit heard a pop emanate from outside the main entrance of the building, scaring the shit out of him! Now, under normal circumstances, he would have just let Baby and Freddy deal with it! However, it was past 6am, and they were powered down for the day, leaving Lolbit all alone. So, thinking fast, Lolbit tried something he had not done in a long time! Suddenly, there was a bright flash, as where once stood Lolbit, now stood a 11-year-old boy, with orange and purple unrulily hair, bright emerald, green eyes, pale white skin, and slightly purple cheeks! He was currently wearing a white and orange jacket and joggers, a purple top sitting underneath, with bright white and orange trainers. All in all, Lolbit thought he looked pretty good! Just then, he heard a knock at the door, as a stern feminine voice spoke out. "Mr Potter. Are you in there? Its me, Professor McGonagall from Hogwarts!" She shouted out, making Lolbit smile in excitement! Rushing over to the door, he rapidly unlocked it, opening the door wide, revealing a tall, pale, stern looking woman, who was wearing what looked like bathrobes! "Hi, can I help you?" Lolbit questioned, looking at the woman in question.
Of all the things McGonagall expected to see when she knocked on the door of this abandoned building, a small, colourful version of James Potter answering was at the bottom of that list! "Hi, can I help you?" The boy asked, looking at her directly. Regaining her composure, she reached forward to shake the boy's hand. "Hello, Mr potter correct?" She questioned, just to be sure. "Yep, that's me! Although most of the time I go by Lolbit now." Harry stated, getting a smile from McGonagall. 'He is so lively! Hopefully that's a good sign.' She thought to herself, before getting back on track. "So, Mr Potter. I read your letter and while I am glad to see you will be attending Hogwarts, I notice you had next to no information on the wizarding world. So, that is why I am here, to show you around the world you were born in." She said, trying to explain it as simply as possible, earning a nod from the boy in response. "Well, if I am going out somewhere, I will need to let my friends know quickly. I will be back in a second!" He stated, rushing off back into the building! McGonagall just shook her head. He was another James Potter all over again!
As Lolbit walked back inside the pizzeria, he walked over to Baby, tapping her on the shoulder, only for her to give a lazy response in return. "What's up Lolbit?" She questioned, not even opening her eyes. He just sighed, before continuing. "I'm going out to get my stuff for school. Be back later!" He stated, before rushing off out the door. Baby just moaned in response, before going back to sleep, 100% not giving a shit!
About 10 minutes later, Lolbit and McGonagall appeared on the sidewalk of a street, right next to a rusted sign that stated, 'Charing Cross Road' in big bold text! Now, Lolbit was used to teleporting. He does it most of the time back at the pizzeria, mainly because he is to lazy to walk! But, whatever that was, he never! NEVER! Wanted to do it again! McGonagall just stared at him, noticing his slightly nauseous looking face. "Apparition. Not the nicest thing to experience for the first time, but you get used to it." She stated, before leading Lolbit further down the street, coming to a stop just outside an old, rundown, dingy looking pub. Sighing, he followed McGonagall inside the building, a bell chiming as they walked through the front door. Lolbit could only stare on in amazement at the sight around him! Wizards! Just sitting out in the open! In a completely normal looking English pub! 'Its so stupid, its ingenious!' He thought to himself with a grin, as he and McGonagall manoeuvred their way through the crowds of people, exiting out the back door, into an alley way. One with a dead end?
Just then, he watched in amazement, as McGonagall pulled out a long, smooth stick, NOT THAT KIND, and proceeded to tap specific bricks on the wall in front of them. Suddenly, the wall started to shift in front of them, revealing a huge alley behind it, with tons of people walking to and from different shops, all getting on with their day like it was a normal thing to see shifting walls and people with pointy hats! 'Well, I guess for them it kinda is.' Lolbit thought to himself, as McGonagall suddenly interrupted his thought process. "Welcome, to Diagon Alley! This is one of the major shopping markets for Wizards and Witches to buy all the things they could possibly need for Hogwarts and everyday life." She explained, leading him down the alley, as he could only stare in amazement! So many different types of shops! From sweet shops, to joke shops, to ones for pets and so on! It was amazing! "So, Mr Potter. This is where I leave you. I would stay, but I have a lot of important business to take care of for the school year. Someone will come get you the morning of September 1st. They will take you to Platform 93/4." She said, giving him an apologetic look. "Its no problem Professor. I have my own way back home anyway and finding all the stuff I need for school should not be a problem. Well, except for I don't have any money on me." He said, looking embarrassed that he had forgotten something so important. "No problem Mr Potter. If you go down to the end of the Alley, you will find Gringotts bank." She said, as Lolbit nodded in thanks, before rushing off towards the bank.
As Lolbit walked up the huge, marble steps of the bank known as Gringotts, he looked around, taking in the beauty of the architecture! It was magnificent! With huge marble columns holding up the top of the band, marble covered walls reflecting shining sunlight back onto the cobblestone path below. All in all, it was a majestic looking building. That was when Lolbit noticed something strange. 'Goblins! Goblins are real!' He thought to himself, as he marched up closer to the doors. Completely unaware of how to act towards the armoured guards, Lolbit just bowed in respect, before walking off into the bank, completely missing the shocked faces of the Goblins outside.
Once inside the massive structure, Lolbit was once again taken aback by the sheer size of the place! 'This place makes the Pizzeria look tiny!' He thought to himself, before walking up to a teller desk without a que, quietly dinging the bell to signal his arrival. As the goblin looked up, he was expecting to see another suck up wizard, demanding for money. However, he was pleasantly surprised to see a young boy, with what had to be the most colourful outfit he had ever seen! 'This should be interesting.' The Goblin though to himself, before addressing the wizard. "How may Gringotts assist you today, young man?" "Hi, I was told I could withdraw some money from my account here. I'm sorry, I'm new to this." Lolbit stated nervously, making the goblin sigh in annoyance. "It's fine. Please hand your key over and we will have someone take you down to your vault." The goblin stated, only to see the boy give him a confused look. "You have your key right, Mr…" "Potter, my name is Harry Potter." Lolbit continued, still looking quite nervous. After hearing that name, the goblin suddenly excused himself, before rushing off into a back room, only to come charging out 5 minutes later! "The Potter account manager would like to see you Mr Potter." The goblin stated, showing Lolbit down a corridor, eventually coming to a stop outside a set of towering, golden doors. The Goblin, who Lolbit learned was named Griphook, knocked on the door, receiving a reply quickly. "ENTER!" Someone shouted, before the doors flung open, as Lolbit was led into the room, taking a comfy seat in front of a large desk. Looking up, Lolbit saw an older looking Goblin, looking at him with a determined look. "Mr Potter. We have much to discuss!"