Keri: Ah yes, another amazing RP between Techno Doofus and Keri12376! This one, however, is ZADR along w/ a NEW slash pairing: Skoodge/Iggins. As first seen here:
www. geocities. com/ animeninjanippon / slashie. html
This story is a continuation of that one, so we'll just include that part.
Disclaimers: We did not write the beginning! It's by animeninjaNIPPON! We do not own Invader Zim! It is belonging to The Vasquez!
Warnings: Xeno, M/M
Note: Keri is Skoodge and Dib and Techno is Iggins and Zim. Zim and Dib are 14 and Skoodge and Iggins are 13.
- - - -
It was a terrible day. The city was on fire, and helpless citizens screamed in agony as a boy in a black trench coat with an oversized head angrily chased a green-skinned boy wearing a black wig down the flaming streets. They passed an angry cop handcuffing a green-haired boy in a maroon T-shirt pinned to the side of a police car.
"What's your name, kid?" the cop snarled.
"Patrick Star," the boy mumbled, half-panicked.
"Your REAL name!" the cop growled, shoving the boy even harder against the car. The mystery child had no time to answer true or false, for right then a large meteor-like fireball slammed into the opposite end of the car, setting off the alarm. The cop screamed something about the apocalypse and ran far, far away. The green-haired boy took advantage of that scenario to slip out of the unlocked cuffs, but curiosity drew him to the flaming ball, which was actually...
"WOOOOOW! AN ALIEN! A REAL LIVE ALIEN!" The chubby green alien blinked his scarlet eyes as he stepped out of the wreckage with a dutiful air.
"Invader Skoodge here, ready to search and destroy this -" He turned to the side. "Who or what are you?"
"I'm Iggins!" the green-haired boy proudly announced. "I'm a human from the planet Earth! Well, sometimes I pretend I'm from Mars in this online RPG I've been into for about a month - do you know anything about role-playing? 'Cuz I -"
"I'm supposed to enslave you," Skoodge interrupted. "And, uh, I think I'm supposed to kill you if you don't comply to my race's demands, but the Tallest never gave me any weapons before they shot me out of the -"
"WHOA, I can't believe it!" Iggins continued. "A real - wait, you're going to kill me? Please, PLEASE don't kill me, Mr. Alien!" He fell to his knees and begged, sobbing crocodile tears.
"Uh, lemme see-" Skoodge looked to his left and right to see if he dropped anything. "Nope - nothing. I had nothing when I landed on Hobo 13, and I still have nothing. I don't even know how I got here." Iggins suddenly brightened and stood up.
"So, where are you from, Mr., uh...?"
"Skoodge."
"Skoodge?"
"I am part of the superior Irken race!"
"Never heard of it. Are they from Uranus?"
"Uh, no. I'm from Irk."
"Oh." They looked at each other in curious stupor for a moment before Iggins squealed,
"WOW! I'm ACTUALLY talking to an ALIEN! I'm actually talking to an alien in PERSON! I'm actually talking to SOMEONE in person..."
"And I'm talking to a - what did you say you were again?"
"A human - from Earth. You're on Earth now. Why are you here exactly? Are you here to interbreed with other life forms?"
"Why, do you want me to?" Skoodge gave a puzzled look. "If that's your planet's custom -"
"EWW, NO! That's SICK! That's WRONG! That's..." He gave a quick glance to both sides before continuing. "That's COOL! That same thing happened in this game I imported from Japan called Hoshi no Trooper, which is Japanese for Star Trooper, and..." He looked at Skoodge straight on. "I never thought I'd actually meet a REAL ALIEN!" Without warning, he gave a little hop and squeezed Skoodge in an unexpected (and unexplainable) embrace. "This is SO COOOOL!" He screamed with excitement. Not knowing what else to do, Skoodge screamed and hugged back. Their unified screaming echoed throughout the singed city, catching the attention of the deviant duo that abruptly ended their violent game of tag to stare at the unlikely couple.
"Oh, dear LORD!" they exclaimed simultaneously.
(Keri: And this is where me and Techno's story begins.)
Dib stood up from his fighting with Zim,
"Iggins? What the hell are you doing! WHY ARE YOU HUGGIN AN IRKEN!"
"Yes Skoodge WHY ARE YOU HUGGING DISGUSTING HEE-UU-MAN FLITH!" Skoodge let go of Iggins and saluted at Zim,
"Yes Sir, sorry Sir!" Iggins pouted a little, but immediately returned to his cheery nature looking at Dib,
"What are you talking about?"
"I mean that he's a horrible alien here to kill us all!" Iggins scratched his head,
"Oh...COOL!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN "COOL"!"
"I don't know it's like in my game!" he said pulling out his Game Slave "Plus aliens are awesome!" Dib began yelling in his face,
"No they're not, well, at least not Irkens! They're going to kill us all; you included!" Iggins blinked,
"You know you need help." Zim pondered at this turn of events, well the empire could always use more willing slaves since there have been many attempted slave riots...and Zim always wanted a personal slave, not including Skoodge, so this might be a good turn of events. Of course he was going to take Dib with him, but he would be unwilling at first, but he would break eventually. Zim smiled wickedly,
"You human game-monster! you wish to see the death of the humans, and work for me for eternity yes?" Iggins eyes widened,
"Well SURE!" Zim put his fingers together,
"Excellent!" Dib glared at Iggins,
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING! YOU TRAITOR!" Skoodge inwardly pouted,
"Sir...?" he said to Zim meekly. Zim waved Skoodge off,
"No worries soldier you're still in my service." Iggins looked at Dib weirdly before saying,
"You're nuts we're going to die anyway so I'd rather be a slave to a cool alien than dead." Skoodge coughed,
"That's not what I meant Sir. I was hoping to keep the human." Zim started laughing,
"Hahaha! Ah Skoodge, what do you know what to do with humans." Dib growled,
"Don't worry, there's a nice place in hell for you, traitor!"
(Keri: two convos at once, how confusing
Techno: yeah...but w/e )
"You'll be there eventually, Iggins. Be sure to send me a post card and tell me how the ninth level is, kay?" Skoodge backed down; he had no idea what to do with humans, it'd be best just to let Zim handle it. Zim then thought of something, once more. The dib was going to be hard enough to control, and he didn't have time to teach another human how to be a slave it would be best to let Skoodge do it, and if he messed up...then Zim would handle it, But first Zim wanted to break the Dib,
"Yes Skoodge you can have the human, but DON'T mess up!" Iggins looked confused,
"They have postcards in hell?" Dib felt a headache slowly forming in his left temple. He growled but before he could answer Skoodge squeeled,
"OHTHANKYOUSIRI'VEALWAYSWANTEDASLAVEOFMYOWN! YOUWON'TREGRETIT!" Zim waved his hand nonchalantly,
"Yes, yes I AM ZIM!" after that he turned to the Dib human, and before Dib could react he pulled out two collars and quickly latched one to Dib's neck, and tossed the other to Skoodge. Dib gasped, quickly pulling on his new 'necklace',
"OHMYGOD! TAKE THIS THING OFF NOW ZIM! I'M NOT YOUR PET DAMN IT!" Skoodge looked at the collar and placed it on Iggins. Iggins stood there smiling stupidly.
"Well of course you are Dib you didn't expect that after years of your meddling i would let you die with the rest of the pig-smellys?" Dib growled,
"I was kind of hoping so." Skoodge beamed, he had his own slave; he was so giddy. Zim chuckled,
"Well that's to bad now come on SLAVE!" Iggins was also giddy. It was his dream to be abducted by aliens since he was a kid. Dib pulled on his collar, trying to go the opposite way as Zim. Skoodge followed Zim back to his ship. Iggins being the loud curios being he was decided to ask endless series of questions,
"So where we going? Is it going to be fun or is it going to eat my brains? This is so exciting!" Skoodge smiled at his curiosity, then looked at Zim questioningly.
"Sir? Should we answer the human?" he mumbled. Zim looked at Skoodge,
"Don't ask me! he's your slave." Zim said not looking back.
"But Sir, I'm your slave. I wanna know how to be a good master, like you!" Zim sighed,
"Answer him just don't give him too much information or he'll think he's important when he's really lower than the soot on your boots!" Skoodge saluted at Zim and fell back so that he was walking only slightly ahead of Iggins; Dib was still fighting the leash,
"We're going to Irk, It'll be fun for me and Zim, and as long as Gir is kept under control, nothing will eat your brains." Iggins pondered silently for a while before asking,
"So what's Irk like?" Skoodge bit his lower 'lip'; would telling him be too much information? He just decided to be very vague,
"It's mostly metal. No plant-life like here."
"Plants are itchy!" Iggins stated as a matter-of-factly.
"Yes they are." Skoodge agreed.
"Let me go you horrible alien!" Dib said, squirming as the boarded Zim's Voot as a wave of meteors penetrated the blood red sky, only to come crashing down on the Earth's surface. Zim tossed Dib to the corner before setting himself on the console chair, and preparing the Voot to blast off of Earth once Skoodge and the other human were inside. Skoodge sat next to Zim, putting Iggins net to Dib. A small robot peeked his head out of a drawer on the side of the ship,
"Oooooh, souvenirs! I gots one too Master!" Gir pulled out Pig. Mini-Moose floated lazily out of the drawer and up to the ceiling. He bumped the roof with his legs before giving out a small squeak. Iggins decided to start a conversation while Zim left the Earth's ozone layer,
"Sooo Dib...I can't wait to go to Irk! How bout' you!" Dib glared at Iggins,
"I would rather have my eye ripped out by a horse's hoofs while having my legs hacked off by a wooden spoon."
"I wonder if they have shrinks on Irk because I think you REALLY need one, ya know?" Dib sighed angrily, huddling up into a ball. he closed his eyes and lay his head on his knees,
"Please, just leave me alone." he mumbled.
"Aww why are you sad?" Iggins asked curiously. Dib growled, "In case you haven't noticed, we're the last of our species, not only that but we've been kidnapped by two insane alien bastards, and who knows what they'll do to us! Not only that!" he said, "But even after I'm proven right, that I was right all along and aliens DO exists, I'm still crazy!" he banged his head on the side of the ship. "I. Hate. My. Life." he said in-between banging. he returned to his fetal position as soon as his head began to bleed a little, a nice sized bruise around the cut. Iggins looked sympathetic,
"Hey! Hey uh...Zim? I hope that's your name! Dib's bleeding he should get fixed" Zim looked behind his shoulder, and saw Dib bleeding. He growled,
"Human! Zim commands you to stop bleeding, and you" he said looking at Iggins "shut your noise-tube!" Dib made a small agitated noise,
"I've had worse injuries than this AND YOU KNOW IT ZIM! And besides, you can't just tell a human to stop being hurt."
"Doesn't matter," Skoodge said, "We're at the ship anyways." sure enough, they were about to dock in the large ship Zim had orbiting Earth. Zim glared, but said nothing. Iggins, meanwhile, was literally jumping up and down in excitement. Skoodge turned to him,
"Sit down or you'll hit your head." he couldn't help a small smile, but was quick to hide it. Iggins still crazy with anticipation stopped bouncing, but his feet were still shaking impatiently. Dib glared at him,
'Disgusting little traitor.' he thought angrily. Dib had always wanted to travel through space, but not like this. Iggins was completely oblivious to Dib's glaring as he talked to him,
"This is like a sci-fi movie only BETTER!"
"Yeah, what could be better than being a slave to an alien?" he said sarcastically. Iggins not noticing Dib's sarcasm nodded his head enthusiastically. Skoodge grabbed Iggins' leash as the windshield opened, allowing them to exit the ship. Zim got off of his seat, and grabbed his human's leash also yanking him to his feet. Dib grunted as he was pulled out of the Voot,
"So what are you planning on doing with us anyways?" Zim pondered,
"None of you concern." he said after a while.
"I do believe it's some of my concern considering what ever it is will be done to me." Zim shrugged his shoulders,
"You're my SLAVE human whatever I do, even if it has to do with you, it's still none of your concern." Dib pulled on his leash in hopes of it pulling Zim's arm out of his socket, no such luck though. Zim glared at the human,
"Stop fidgeting!" Iggins meanwhile was happily skipping a little behind Skoodge looking around the ship in awe. Skoodge tried to not laugh at the two, more than happy that he had such a willing slave,
"S-sir?" he asked. Zim stopped glaring at Dib to look up at Skoodge,
"Yes? What is it?"
"Permission to show my slave to his quarters and tell him his duties?" Zim nodded. Skoodge began leading Iggins to the lower levels right as Zim began whipping Dib with a PAK tentacle. Iggins winced slightly when he heard Dib's yell,
"Well i guess that's what he gets for not listening huh?" Skoodge nodded,
"Yup, he's just lucky Zim's not a guard or he'd also get electrocuted." Skoodge winced at some long forgotten memory.
"That's got to hurt." Iggins said shuddering "Will I get electrocuted?" Iggins asked a little scared. Skoodge smiled,
"Not as long as you're good." he stretched, "Every Irken wants a slave like you; one hundred percent willing to do anything I ask." Iggins smiled,
"Yep! I'd do anyyyything! Dib hates me for it I think...I don't know why though" Skoodge sighed,
"He had made it his life mission to protect the Earth from aliens like us, and he was hoping that if anyone found out that there really were aliens that they'd help him."
"Yeah...he never gets a break! But I'm sure him and Zim will be happy together!" Skoodge blushed,
"Wh-what do you mean? He's Zim's slave, of course he won't be happy!"
"Oh...if you ask me I think Dib likes Zim! He's just afraid of his emotions! Like in the TV!"
"Hmph, well then why was he putting up so much of a fight!"
"He's in denial."
"Well tough luck for Dib, Irkens are trained to suppress their emotions until they're entirely forgotten!"
"Really! Wow that stinks!"
"What do you mean? You can't go out on the battle field and become sad every time some one gets shot!"
"I know! But what about love?" Skoodge quirked an antenna. He stopped walking and looked at Iggins,
"What's 'love'?" he said tilting his head to the side. Iggins opened his mouth in shock,
"OH MY GOD YOU DON'T KNOW?" He blinked,
"Should I?"
"Well yeah! Mostly everyone does!"
"Human, I've been around the universe at least four times and I've never even heard of it." He began walking again, "It must be something only you humans have."
"Hm...maybe it is..." Iggins pondered walking behind Skoodge. After a couple of minutes they reached a door at the very back of the very bottom of the ship, "This is you and Dib's room." he opened the door. It was a poorly lit room, with only two small cots and a low table. There was a strange pink liquid dripping from the ceiling, leaving puddles on the ground. Iggins cringed, but refrained from saying not wanting to make Skoodge mad.
"You won't spend much time in here, so Zim hasn't even bothered to make it look nice. You'll mostly just be serving us breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and desert. Also, you'll be doing laundry and cleaning." Iggins nodded. good thing he was alone at home so much he learned how to do tasks like these while his parents were always working. After a moment of silence Skoodge turned to Iggins,
"What's it like? Is it nice?" Iggins looked curiously looked at Skoodge,
"What?"
"Love. Is it nice?"
"Oh...I don't know. I've never been in love, I just know from what they put on TV, which has lots of kissing and touching."
"Kissing?"
"Um...it's when 2 people put there lips together, and I don't know much beyond that."
"That's stupid." Iggins shrugged,
"People say it's supposed to feel good especially with the person you love. If you do it with someone you don't it doesn't feel the same."
"Have you ever kissed someone?"
"Uh...no."
"Hm. well, come along, I'll show you the kitchen and the wash room, the medical ward and the rest rooms." Skoodge began to walk back up the ship. Iggins nodded and followed Skoodge. Skoodge walked into the kitchen,
"You do know how to cook, right?" Gir was busy making something that involved mud, flour, flowers, vodka and a pare of pants. Iggins nodded looking around the kitchen,
"Yep." Skoodge nodded,
"Good." he looked at Gir, "Don't blow anything up or your Master will be mad." Gir saluted. Iggins looked curiously and excitedly at the robot. He had never seen a REAL robot before, and this was amazing.
"IMMA MAKIN' MUD PIES!" he yelled happily as the two departed. Iggins raised an eyebrow,
"Is he always like that?"
"Who? Gir? Yeah, he's kind of crazy." Skoodge chuckled, "Yup, Gir the malfunctioning SIR unit." Iggins grinned,
"Cool!" Skoodge smirked,
"Just wait 'til you see a REAL SIR unit in action! Man! The SIR-wars are AMAZING!" Iggins squealed in delight,
"Oh my God! REAL robot fights, that is so COOL!" his hands twitched. Suddenly out of no where Zim jumped in front of the two,
"Did someone call me!" he asked. Dib was barely standing behind Zim. His back was bloody and his cloths were torn. He fell to his knees as soon as they stopped walking. Iggins eyes widened in surprise, and somewhat fear as he saw Dib collapse, his clothes torn and bloody,
"D-dib?" Iggins asked quietly for once in his life. Zim looked over at the human who was with Skoodge then raised an 'eyebrow'.
"SKOODGE!" Zim yelled.
"Yes Sir!" Skoodge stood at attention, saluting.
"Why is your human...still not uh...hurt yet! not one day and you've already messed it up!" Zim said with his hands on his hips. one hand still holding the leash. Skoodge coward,
"I-I'm sorry Sir. But he ha-hasn't done anything wrong yet."
"Well how do you know he WON'T do anything! He could be playing with your mind!" Skoodge looked from Zim to Iggins. Dib gave a small cough, some blood landing dangerously close to Zim's boot.
"I-I'm sorry!" he said, quickly cleaning it up with a strip of his shirt that wasn't dirty. Once it was clean, he kissed Zim's shoe. Zim smirked,
"You see Skoodge, THIS is the kind of slave everyone wants! See to it that by the time I get back your human is like the Dib-slave." He tugged on Dibs leash and walked away. Skoodge sighed,
"No it's not, Zim." he mumbled once Zim was out of ear-shot. He hung his head in his hands, sitting at the table in the kitchen. Iggins hadn't move the whole time; he stood stock still his whole body trembling. Even though he couldn't see it he knew he had paled, and his eyes were wide as saucers. Skoodge's head slipped from his hands and hit the table.
"I MADE PIE!" Gir squealed, running in and setting a pie on the table.