Author's note: And here's one more. I'm trying to develop some more character bonds here but I'm not sure if it's working. Let me know.

Chapter 30

Seras had called Josh to make sure that it wasn't too late for her to come round, he assured her that she was most welcome and she had used one of the vehicles in the carpool to reach his flat. Timidly, she knocked on the door.

"Coming."

A moment later, the door opened and Josh filled the doorway. His hair was damp and tousled and she guessed that he had just finished showering.

"Hello." He said warmly, and cocked his head to one side and asked mischievously: "Do I have to invite you in or can you just come in?"

She gave him a withering look as she walked straight past him and into the flat.

"Well, that's one myth busted then."

Seras giggled at his joke and after entering, found herself in a small hallway. It was a typical London flat: sitting room, kitchen, bathroom and a short hallway leading to the bedrooms. It was clean and tidy, and personal items made it cosy. Josh ushered her along to the sitting room and waved his hand at the sofa.

"Make yourself comfortable, and I'll put the kettle on."

He popped into the kitchen before she could say anything and so she did as he had instructed. Taking off her shoes, she nestled into the corner of the large sofa and tucked her feet up under her. She could hear him clattering away and soon he was coming out with a tray with two steaming mugs of tea.

"I forgot to ask about milk and sugar, so I brought them along."

He placed the tray on a nearby table and then turned to look at her, blushing.

"Actually, I should have asked if you can even drink tea." He admitted.

She burst into the giggles that he was becoming so fond of and said:

"Yes, I can drink tea. Milk and two sugars please."

They made small talk as he poured milk and spooned in sugar and then he was soon ensconced in the other corner of the sofa, watching Seras as she sipped at the steaming mug. They had run out of small talk, and he wasn't sure how to start their conversation and decided the direct approach was the best.

"So I guess you're wondering what reasons I had to kill Tim that night."

Seras blinked at the sudden start of the conversation and said:

"Do you have a licence to carry a loaded question?"

He burst out laughing at that one and she soon joined him. After a moment the levity passed and the seriousness returned.

"I was wondering what promise you had made him," she admitted. "From your words I gathered that there had been some agreement between the two of you."

"It wasn't just the two of us. It started way back when we all first joined up with Hellsing."

"All? Meaning more than just you and Tim?"

Josh frowned, not sure where to start because he didn't know how much she knew about Hellsing.

"Have you heard of a 'legacy list'?"

"Not really."

"Hellsing makes a list of the children born to the people that work for the organisation. They do this because it's easier to recruit people who have heard of Hellsing through their parents or sometimes their grandparents."

"So it's a way of keeping it in the family as it were."

"Exactly that." He agreed. "My sister and I were on that list because of our father. Tim was recruited via his dad and there were three more that joined up the same way."

He sat silent for a moment, with a faraway look in his eyes and she figured that he was running memories through his mind. His silence made her uncomfortable and so she tried to get him talking again.

"So there were six of you in a group." Seras said. "Did you all serve in the army as well, before transferring?"

"Yes, although we didn't all work together, being different divisions and such. But we were all ready to transfer at the same time, so we went in as a group."

"But you and Jane went into munitions; did the others go into troops or other specialised fields?"

"The rest of the gang went into troops, but not before we had made a promise to each other."

Seras remained quiet, realising that he had come to the crux of the matter. This time she remained silent, waiting for him to gather up his thoughts. She sipped her tea as she waited and was nearly done when he started talking again.

"Because we were aware of Hellsing and what they did, we all knew the risks and the dangers that we were going up against. Our dad's had told us horror stories about being in the field surrounded by ghouls, some of them being former friends and the terror of being hunted by a vampire."

"Did they do that to discourage you from joining?"

"No, they just wanted us to know, so that when the time came to choose, we were in possession of all the facts – so that if we joined, we could never say we made a mistake."

Seras realised where the conversation was headed, but again, she let Josh take his time and tell her at his own pace.

"We promised each other that none of us would become ghouls. No matter what it took to stop it, we wouldn't let it happen. And if the very worst came to pass, then we would put them down – they wouldn't be left as a mindless shambling monster."

During the whole conversation, Josh had been looking at Seras, his emotions reflecting in his eyes, his soul laid bare to her. She was touched that he was being so honest.

"I'm going to guess that those red marked bullets were a sign of that promise?" she asked gently.

"They were special; they were made so that no matter what – they would take out the target. Different guns, different bullets but each on guaranteed a one shot kill. I'm sure you realise by now that Jane made those."

"It makes sense that she would."

"We swore on Church, Crown and Country that we wouldn't let the worst happen, even it meant one of us killing another."

He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair, turning his face up to look at the ceiling. She could see that he was trying to hold back tears and gave him a moment to compose himself as she went through the story he had just told her.

Seras thought back to his words that night: I swear to God, Queen and Country it will not be you, and all the meaning behind them finally fell into place. She admired their loyalty to each other, and the strength of character that it took to fulfil that promise, even if it meant killing your friend. She also now understood why Tim had seemed so relieved to hear that Josh was there, and why he had sent an apology to Jane.

Eventually he looked down at her again and gave a sad smile.

"If you don't mind me asking, how many of the group are left?"

He frowned and then spoke, using his fingers as counters.

"Mick was the first of us to go, but he died of illness. Peter had to kill Allan in an attack two years ago. Then Tim took out Peter in an explosion when his squad got trapped in a building collapse. And I took out Tim, as you saw."

"So there are just two left – yourself and Jane?"

"Yes."

"But Jane doesn't do combat – what'll happen if..." Seras trailed away as she realised what she was about to say.

"You mean if I get turned into a ghoul?"

She nodded, too embarrassed to speak.

"Trust me, my sister will hunt me down and keep that promise. She keeps my bullet and I keep hers."

She remembered that he had laid out two red marked cartridges that night on the rooftop, and now realised who the second one was for.

The memories of that night and the seriousness of everything he had told her and the weight of the promises that they had made came crashing down on her and without warning, Seras suddenly burst into tears.

Josh reacted without thought and shot across the sofa to wrap the weeping vampire in his arms. She clung to him and stuttered out:

"I'm sorry that you had to do that. I wish that I was as strong as my master so that I could have known that the little girl was there."

"It's not your fault." He tried to soothe her. "No one could have known she was there."

"My master would have." She sobbed. "I know that he knew she was there."

Josh held on and rubbed his hand on her back as she cried. He knew that she was feeling pain for him but she was also now facing up to her own emotional shocks of that evening. Eventually her crying tapered off and she leaned back from him, rubbing at her eyes with the backs of her hands.

"I'm sorry, that came out of nowhere." She sniffed.

Josh smiled at her and said:

"I imagine that it's been waiting a while to be let out. Why I don't I make us another cup of tea and you can tell me your side of that night."

"I told you this morning that I was fine." She prevaricated, trying to look him in the eye. But his look of scepticism made it impossible so eventually she just nodded in assent.

While he was in the kitchen, she used the bathroom to wash her face and press a cool flannel to her cheeks. She was back on the sofa when he returned with the second round. He waited patiently for her to start talking but she just couldn't find the right words and sat fiddling with her tea instead.

When Josh started speaking, she jumped slightly, and then looked at him.

"You said that you are fine Seras, but you're not. What's on your mind?"

Grateful for the opening, she tried to explain it to him, while trying to understand it herself.

"I've never seen my master like that."

"I don't think any of us there had."

"I knew he was strong, but I've never felt that power from him before. I know it's the control system that keeps it locked away, but I still just didn't have a concept of what he really was."

"And it frightened you, yes?"

She nodded, staring at her hands, ashamed that for a moment even she had been afraid of her own master.

"Seras, look at me." Josh said quietly but firmly.

She looked up at him, seeing warmth and compassion in eyes, coupled with understanding.

"I don't think anyone wasn't afraid in that moment. I'm not like you but even I could feel something from down where he was. Your master is most likely one of the most powerful things on the face of the earth and that should make you afraid."

"I wasn't just afraid." She admitted in a small voice. "I was excited too."

He laughed, surprising her.

"Of course you were. I imagine you were terrified, impressed and excited all at the same time."

"How did you know?" she wondered. "How is it that you know how that feels?"

"Because that's how I felt about my father." He said simply. "He could frighten me, inspire me and do things that made me so proud to be able to say that's my dad. Almost all children feel that way about their parents."

"I grew up without mine." She said quietly. "So I guess that's why I didn't think of it that way."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know." He apologised. "I hope I didn't open old wounds"

Seras stared at him in wonder, amazed that he managed to put his finger directly on the point and then explain it so that it made perfect sense to her.

"How did you get so wise?" she mused aloud. "It's like you can see straight into my heart."

He looked at her for a long moment and then said quietly.

"My mother was like that. She was always calm and endlessly kind. She could see how a person felt even if they couldn't, and she could help them understand how they were feeling. It seems that I take after her in that regard."

They sat leaning against each other and then Josh asked:

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened to your parents?"

Seras frowned and then gave him the bare bones of her past, unwilling to go into details. He could appreciate that and didn't press her.

After finishing her tale, she looked at him and said:

"Fair's fair – what about your parents?"

"Our mum died in an accident when we were eight and our dad passed away from cancer while we were in the army."

"It's a little strange to here you say 'we' when you're talking about yourself."

Joshua chuckled.

"It's because my sister and I have never been separated, not really. Sometimes we were apart for assignments but we always had each other to come back to."

Seras digested this snippet and then said slyly:

"If you take after your mum like you say, then I'm going to assume that Jane doesn't."

He laughed outright at that one, and kept laughing for so long that she jabbed him in the ribs to catch his attention.

"It wasn't that funny."

"Oh it was" He chortled. "The only thing that she got from our mum was her eyes and that hair. The rest of her is our father through and through."

He continued describing his family life, adding in funny stories here and there, as the conversation moved from topic to topic. She added her own life experiences and they say late into the night – endlessly talking.

Alucard prowled the grounds of the Hellsing manor, enjoying the night air. He had tested Integra's bargain and found that he could indeed release more of his power than usual. He gave a wry grin as he realised it felt very much like taking off a pair of shoes that were slightly too small. He took a moment to revel in his sheer power and then set to patrolling in earnest. His master had entrusted the manor to him – he was not about to let her down.

Meanwhile, at the factory:

Jane felt her hands begin to grow damp with exertion as she attempted to latch the slide onto the frame of the massive black handgun she had braced in her lap. This was her third attempt, and as before - the recoil spring was fighting her every step of the way. Aware that it was stupid to keep trying with slippery hands, she was about to let up on the pressure when the spring kicked back and the slide tore itself out of her grip and clattered to the floor.

"Bloody everlasting hell!" she shouted in frustration to the empty room.

She put the frame on the bench and stood up to retrieve the slide, which – true to its name, had slid nearly across the length of the workshop. Bending down she noticed blood welling up in her palm. She looked at her hand in surprise and realised that the metal had pulled out of her grip so fast that the rear sights had sliced in her hand without her even feeling it.

She picked up the slide and placed it on the table, intending to get the first aid box and bind her hand before trying one more time. But her temper got the better of her and she sat down, braced the frame against her leg with her left hand and told hold of the slide again. Without thought to her injury she placed the slide carefully in its tracks and once more, pushed it back as hard as she could, gritting her teeth with the effort.

Maybe frustration added to her strength, maybe it was her own blood that acted as a lubricant – either way this time she felt the distinct 'clack' as the slide went all the way back and then settled into place. She released the tension in her arms and sat for a while with her hands resting in her lap, the gun held loosely in fingers trembling with exhaustion.

Eventually the trembling stopped, and she stood up, bringing herself into a firing stance. Because of its sheer size and weight, her grip on the gun was clumsy and she needed to hold up the barrel with her left hand. But she managed to find a decent hold and then pulled the trigger in a dry fire.

The precise sound of a well tuned mechanism and the powerful kickback of the slide – even unloaded, was one of the most satisfying things she had ever experienced. She didn't notice the weight of her exhaustion, she didn't care about the blood running down her arm and dripping off her elbow and she couldn't remember what day it actually was. All she could see was the weapon that she had been drawing since she was a teenager, following her father around his workshop and pestering him with questions.

It was done.