Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom. Butch Hartman does. I would never dream of making money off his work, this is but one fanatic's homage. So please don't sic the rabid lawyer hordes upon me, there's not much for them to sue out of me.

Author's Note: Holy crap! A mid-week update! I don't know if maybe the story has simply gained so much momentum that I was simply able to bust out the new chapter in like, three days or what. Maybe because a lot of it is just the novelization of scenes from TUE... who knows? Anyway, with tomorrow my final day of Geology lab, we'll see if I manage to duplicate the momentum Jeremiad had over Spring Break. My muses willing, Anathema could be completed by the 28th! (I make no promises, but it is a possibility.)

As always, reviews are much appreciated, and thanks for sticking with the story for so long ) Only 3 chapters left, and then its on to Benediction!

Chapter 11 - Nostalgia

I remained silent, watching events play out below, and frankly not understanding what I was seeing. They were ten years dead due to my stupidity, my weakness. What were they doing here, looking like they could have just stepped out of my yearbook? Valerie mirrored my own confusion at the scene, the woman sputtering in shock.

"Sam-? Tucker-? I-i-it's not possible! This is a trick! You can't be alive!" She yelped, taking a step back from the teens.

More words were exchanged below, though from my vantage I only heard bits and pieces. Tucker saying something about the C.A.T... that happened ten years ago, he had already taken it! I could see Valerie muttering to herself, lost in confusion before I caught the shift in her stance, a snap back to that ruthless red-clad shadow that had been after me the past several months.

"And it was all YOUR FAULT!" The huntress screeched, her shout loud and clear above the whine of her cannon powering up.

My weakness sat there in a pink net, clearly vulnerable. I figured I ought to intervene; if anyone was going to deal with that specter, it would be me. And in her state, I didn't doubt that she would end up blasting Sam and Tucker as well. I wanted to decipher that particular mystery, and Valerie blasting them to pieces would have been just a tad counterproductive. I jumped down from my perch and launched a high-velocity green shockwave sending Valerie sailing several dozen feet and slamming into the shell of a building. Amusing, that was the first time I managed to actually hit her since we started our little game of tag months ago.

"Actually, that was me. And you-" I floated down, smirking at the terrified expression on the face of my weakness. "-eventually."

All three of them stared outright as I flew down. "Sam and Tucker!" I shot a weak green blast at them, binding the two teens and holding them immobile as I strode forward. It was nearly painful to look down at them, oblivious to what had to have happened to them. "It's been a while. Ten years to be accurate. So, to what do I owe this little blast from the past?"

The two stood frozen as I surveyed them with a slight grin, my gaze coming to a rest on a gear-shaped medallion hanging around Sam's neck. It glinted in the weak light, and I noticed the initials CW neatly sculpted on it. Where had I seen those initials before-? I thought back, and a flash of memory came back to me. "Unless you want to see everything and everyone you care about destroyed. And if you continue living your life this way, you will probably see it again."

"Clockwork?" I growled as the pieces all slammed into place. Clockwork. Master of Time. Duh, time travel! That infuriating spook had brought these memories forward in time, including my weakness from ten years ago? Was this what ha had meant when he said something about doing things 'the hard way'? Was he trying to change the past, thereby erasing my very existence and stopping me that way? "Meddling again-"

I was knocked off my feet and into a nearby building, a pink blast having been launched at my unguarded flank. It didn't hurt, but the impact was a bit uncomfortable. I waved the dust cloud away, briefly wondering who shot me. Valerie stood opposite me across the street, arm-mounted gun still steaming. I growled, how could I have been stupid enough to let my guard down while I was confused about the teenagers? A sidelong glance told me those three wouldn't be going anywhere, and I had allowed Valerie to live for far longer than she deserved.

I leapt at her, flying just inches off the ground. She tried some of her grenades, but I let the things pass right through, the explosions mere memory behind me. In the past several months, she would have used her gun to throw up a smokescreen to cover her retreat, and I half expected she would stick to that tried and true pattern. Instead, the woman stood her ground, a useless gesture as she took aim with that little arm-mounted gun and loosed a barrage of pink blasts.

I glowered at her, dodging left and right around the stream of bullets as I zeroed in on my target, my two flight paths practically mirror images. She tried to jump back as I landed right in front of her, grabbing hold of her arm and nearly crushing the bone in my grip. This was the closest we'd been to one another in four years, her aqua eyes wide with... what was that? Fear? Honest to goodness terror? I relished her expression for a long moment, having become so accustomed to her relentless loathing and ornery persistence over the years. Yes, fear. Terror at how weak and useless you are. Now you know how I felt ten years ago when I trusted you.

I jumped into the air, dragging her by the one arm and letting go at the peak of our combined momentum. She offer no resistance as her trajectory lined her up and I swung, landing a vicious overhead punch to her face that would be sure to raise a nasty welt, assuming it didn't crack her jaw outright. She spun from the impact and plummeted to the ground, where I saw she hit hard enough to bounce once before skidding to a stop. I watched her struggle to get upright, smiling with delight as I landed a few feet behind her.

Just like ten years ago, when I first confronted her in front of FentonWorks. Only now we were no longer children. I was powerful and independent, she was battered and broken. There would be no one to save her this time. Her father wouldn't come rushing to the rescue. Paulina wouldn't ambush me with that bazooka. She no longer had her goon squad to sic on me like a pack of useless attack dogs. No, this time things would go how I wanted, and her memory could be consigned to sweet oblivion.

"I suppose out of respect for our past I should let you live." I stated as I strolled almost casually up behind her. She had managed to get herself almost to a sitting position by the time I reached down and roughly grabbed the front of her jumpsuit, hissing at her terrified face. "But that's not how I work."

I lifted her up, staring briefly. I wanted to vaporize her, right there. It would have been so simple, so straightforward, so certain to finish her off and snuff out that life that existed for little reason other than to oppose me. Instead, I spun once and launched her into the air, knowing I had smashed her wristband. No jet sled rescues, she would be splattered across the side of a building, a suitably gory end to her pathetic life.

"Valerie!"

I shot a glance at the noise, at my weakness trying to intercept the woman. Whatever, I could find her again and make sure she was done for. I strode to where my two captives still floated in a cloud of green energy, right where I left them. These were certainly no pale mockeries, no ghostly phonies. These were a pair of flesh and blood humans, teenagers barely in high school.

"You know, if I had a ounce of humanity left in me, this would be a very touching little reunion." I remarked, looking them over as I contemplated what to do with them. They were supposed to be dead, never meant to see me like this, so strong and capable and no longer requiring their help to fight my battles. They exchanged worried looks, glancing first at me, then each other. I frowned at them. Was that fear? They were afraid of something? Of me? "But of course, I surrendered my human half a long time ago."

My ghost sense went off, I figured it was my weakness come to rescue the two teens. "Oh please."

I whirled, firing a green blast from one fist at him. He responded in kind, firing a blast from both hands. We knocked one another to the ground with nearly matching grunts, and I heard Sam and Tucker fall behind me as my little energy trap faded from existence. It shouldn't have, but that blast stung! How could my weakness, or me from ten years ago be able to inflict any damage on me? I was more powerful than he was, nigh-invincible compared to his pathetic strength!

"Tucker! Sam!" He shouted, a trace of panic in his voice as he sat back up. "Run!"

I heard their footsteps as the pair took off running down the street. What good would that do? The city as they knew it was gone, they were strangers in an alien landscape now. "Run?" I got back to my feet, smug with that knowledge. "Where are they going to go?"

I heard my weakness gasp as I turned toward FentonWorks, Sam and Tucker running past the old shell of the building. With a sharp intake of breath, I unleashed my Ghostly Wail; not directed at them, but at the old building. The structure was so badly damaged from my attack six months ago when I broke through the shield that a strong gust of wind would likely have been enough. Brick and mortar cracked and started to fall loose, and as my attack tapered off, the twisted wreckage of the ops center tore loose with an ominous shriek of torn metal.

I heard a horrified gasp behind me, and shot one hand out just in time to catch the black-clad blur by the leg as he tried to zip past. I tsk-tsked, both of us watching as the building crumpled over the screaming forms of Sam and Tucker. I frowned in thought while my weakness stared in abject horror. I knew that horror, I had experienced it first-hand at the Nasty Burger ten years ago. If this little slip of a ghost was in fact myself from the past, there was something still wrong with the situation. Why didn't I recall any of this? I'm certain I would have remembered ever time traveling.

I shot a weak charge of ectoplasm into the boy, watching him squirm and grunt through clenched teeth at the discomfort. After a long moment of the abuse, I saw the familiar white energy rings, replacing the ghostly child with the useless true form of my weakness. I could hardly stand it, I immediately flung him away, watching him cry out as he skidded to a halt amid the wreckage.

Something caught his attention, his stance as he started to get back up radiated intense relief. "They took off their time medallions! That returned them to their time period, just like Box Lunch and Skulktech. Tucker and Sam made it out alive!" He grabbed what appeared to be one of those gear-shaped medallions I had seen them all wearing. He was blissfully ignorant of my approach, his other hand going toward the medallion hanging around his neck. "Which means I can-"

"What?" I growled, grabbing his arm and hefting him with a startled yelp so we were face-to-face. "Go back with them? They're doomed anyway."

So that's what was going on. Clockwork sent my past self forward in time to shock the child, and hopefully prevent the chain of events that led to my existence. I'm sure that had I known the results of my actions on that stupid test, I would have been horrified by my future and forced to remain so weak. An idea was forming, I had to thwart Clockwork somehow; my very existence depended on it.

"And you're not going anywhere if you can't remove your time medallion." I sneered, my free hand glowing as I ripped the medallion away from him. Turning just that arm intangible, I plunged my hand into his chest, the boy's startled gasp quickly turning to a cry of pain as I released the medallion and withdraw my hand. It had to have hurt, he was decidedly unconscious. "In fact, you're not going anywhere at all."

I contemplated the situation as I charged some old electrical cabling with ectoplasmic energy, binding the boy with what was now a sturdy ecto-rope. I had to somehow insure that he would survive long enough to realize he was so weak and alone. Much as I desperately wanted to re-enact the destruction of my weakness ten years ago, doing so would erase my existence in the present, and I was by no means suicidal.

It seemed deceptively simple. I simply had to ensure that I got caught cheating on that stupid exam ten years ago. I had to make certain that everyone who was supposed to die in that explosion was there with no chance of avoiding it. But how? That was ten years ago, how was I to make certain things remained unaltered by this little time traveling jaunt Clockwork had arranged? My glance fell on the two discarded time medallions, one of which was sparking with some sort of energy. I grabbed it, beginning to piece together a plan. With these stupid trinkets, perhaps I could go back ten years myself, masquerade as my weakness, cheat on the test, and arrange for everyone to be at the Nasty Burger. Then I could toss the medallion, return to the future, fetch my weakness and remove his medallion, and let him return to find everyone dead.

Yes, that would work! Then events would play out as I remembered; revealing my secret to Valerie, running away to live with that idiot cheesehead in Wisconsin, the operation... it was perfect. And such a delightful irony that Clockwork's machinations would enable me to thwart his plan. With a dry chuckle, I grabbed my unconscious past self and tucked away the medallion, lifting into the air. I wanted him to see something before I left, to know how inevitable his future was. So long as they lived, he would be weak and useless. Free of those obligations, he would gain strength and shed that paralyzing weakness that was his humanity. He would learn to hate Valerie just as I had, and understand why this city had to burn.

While I was airborne, I looked to see where Valerie must have landed with the boy's help. To my annoyance, I found no trace of her. Perhaps she had managed to crawl into a hole and hide, though I couldn't envision her still having the strength to do so. I certainly hadn't held back when I hit her. Regardless, she was gone, and with my little unconscious bundle, I didn't particularly want to go and find her. My weakness might wake up, and I would rather he wake up already at the place I was taking him.

A short time later I touched down, frowning at the graveyard. Most of the place was in little better condition than the rest of the city, one monument excluded. Even knocked slightly askew, the marble statue stood taller than I did, the only damage to the marble had come from the natural passage of time, the weathering of wind and rain. Five faces frozen smiling in stone, never again to see the light of day. With a growl, I tossed my unconscious past self to the ground before the statue and wandered off. I didn't much like hanging around that place, that statue. Besides, the ruins of the Nasty Burger nearby were far more interesting, the way the metal was twisted, the way the cracks had spread the through the walls. It was art, really. The demise of society, represented by a crummy fast-food place with combustible sauce.

"Mom? Dad?" I heard him dazedly murmur, a trace of horror in his voice as he apparently come to his senses and laid eyes on the monument. "'Gone, but not forgotten?'"

I listened to him scrabble awkwardly to his feet, the task difficult with his arms bound the way they were. He must have been so terribly confused, seeing the ruins and that grave marker. With one explosion, confusion was bound to give way to sorrow, and then hate and then... freedom.

"And where's the Nasty Burger?" He murmured, voice trailing off when he laid eyes on the ruins.

"Strange how one massive fireball of highly combustible condiments can..." I paused as I walked past the toppled signpost, amused by my own bad joke. "... ruin your whole future."

He cringed at my approach, though I couldn't say whether from fear or perhaps disgust. "The time medallion-?" He squeaked out.

"Fused inside you. Nice, huh?" I asked conversationally as I finished closing the remaining distance. He stared at me with wide blue eyes as the implications sank in. "Intangible and unreachable whether you're ghost or human, which means you can't go back in time."

I turned to form a portal to the Ghost Zone. I figured that the dregs of my enemies there would be plenty to keep him too busy to find some way back. Tied up like he was, he would hardly be able to fight back. When I returned from the past, everything would be normal, and I could send him back in time to try and seek comfort from that witch. My past would remain the way it should be.

"It doesn't matter if I go back in time or not! I'll never turn into you!" He cried out, expression turning defiant. I knew that look all too well, that youthful defiance that had somehow carried me through countless battles in my weakness. Hah, mere defiance couldn't stave off fate! "NEVER!"

"Of course you will." I sneered, feeling those long-disused energy rings pass over me as I altered my form to resemble that of my weakness. He gasped in shock, it had to have been like looking into a mirror as I grabbed his bindings. "It's only a matter of time."

He yowled in panic as I threw him through the portal, the sound fading with distance. I glared at the swirling vortex, though I doubt he would hear me. "I need you out of my way and out of my hair while I make sure nothing happens to change my past." I pulled the time medallion from a pocket in my jeans. Ugh, that form was terribly uncomfortable, moreso than the last time I had used it ten years ago when Valerie blasted me through the portal.

"And luckily, this is all I need to make sure of that." I mused aloud, the medallion triggering a brilliant blue warp. In a flash I found myself standing in an alleyway next to the Nasty Burger, the sunlight nearly blinding compared to the murky ruin I had just been standing in. "And to get where and when I need to be."

I surveyed my surroundings, taken quite literally from memory. So this was that time, ten years ago? So calm, so peaceful... so useless. I had to bite back on the urge to simply vaporize it all. There was no one there who could stop me. Valerie and her old equipment? Hah! She didn't stand a chance with the best weapons ten years of development had to offer, there was nothing she could do with what paltry toys the cheesehead had given to her by this particular point in time. No organized ghost hunter force... the city could be vaporized long before any defense could be mustered.

But no, I had to refrain from doing so. The destruction would come eventually, but for the time being I had to ensure things went as I remembered them. I glanced at the gaping hole blasted in the side of the Nasty Burger. "The Nasty Burger, still standing." I chuckled, glancing at the tanks full of those highly combustible condiments. "For now."

"Danny!"

I whirled in surprise at the delighted chorus of voices, at that name I hadn't heard in years. Sam and Tucker had indeed 'made it out alive', they both looked thrilled to see me, clearly not knowing that the Danny they were thinking of was still stuck ten years in the future, helplessly stranded in the Ghost Zone.

Sam was the first one to come running, I recoiled slightly when she threw her arms around me in a giant hug. It felt strange, seeing that joyous look on the face of a girl I knew was going to die within the next day and a half. So carefree, unknowing the miserable fate that awaited her. She released her hold on me and stepped back slightly, and I relented to hold her hands. I had to mind my strength, lest I accidentally crush fingers and blow my cover. "You made it back!"

She jumped back slightly when Tucker came running and also gave me a friendly hug. He was similarly enthusiastic about the perceived return of my weakness. "Didja beat that evil, jerky push-packed alternative version of yourself?"

Wait, what? Push-packed, I could see. I had grown quite a bit since the accident, and I had certainly added some impressive muscle mass. Jerky... yes, I suppose some could construe my actions over the past ten years to be that of a jerk. But evil? No, the cheesehead was evil, always antagonizing me in the past, trying to guide and control my actions. Valerie was evil, standing against my goals, against my cause. I had my reasons. Payback and revenge, burning away those painful memories.

I forced a laugh to cover my irritation before it could slip and reveal my identity. Funny, I hadn't had to worry about a secret identity in over a decade. "Always with the quips!" Ugh, that voice, so puny and shrill compared to my real tone. "In my weaker moments, I sometimes miss your droll sense of humor."

"I'm sorry?" They both gave me odd looks as if perhaps I'd grown a second head. Come to think of it, something stranger than that, given the atrocious screw-ups I'd made in my earliest attempts at duplicating myself. I was on the brink of blowing my cover unless I did something, and fast.

"I'm just kidding! I beat my other self quite easily." I forced a big stupid grin onto my face. It wasn't a lie, either. I had beaten my 'other self' quite easily. They simply were interpreting my statement in the wrong context. "Had you going there for a second, didn't I?"

I nearly sighed with relief when they both relaxed, apparently buying it.

"Well, we should probably do what we can to stop the Nasty Burger from blowing up, huh?" Tucker asked, pointing at the battered building we were standing next to. Shoot, they knew it was supposed to explode? Valerie must have mentioned it back in the present day. I made a mental note to break every bone in her body, one by one when I got back to my proper time period.

"Already done!" I smoothly lied. Well, I had glanced at the temperature gauge on the tank. It wouldn't be blowing up until shortly after five in the evening tomorrow. After the test, after Mr. Lancer arranges to meet my parents there. Then everything would happen the way it was supposed to. They would die in the explosion, and I would be able to go back to my present day and share the good news with my past self before throwing him back in time ten years to wallow in that useless misery.

"Now, who's up for..." I frowned, wondering how I would pass the remaining several hours until the test. I would need to look over those test answers again. What'd we used to do together...? "Playing some video games and raging against the machine?"

They both apparently missed my moment of hesitation, or forgot about it in the wake of my forced cheerfulness. Wonderful, I would have to spend the better part of the day hanging around two dead people, resisting the urge to wipe this city of memory out of existence. Fine, I could handle that. After all, it was an act of self-preservation.

"We're in!"

I walked alongside them headed for the mall. It was very nearly surreal, seeing the streets of Amity Park as they were ten years ago, passing by people in the street and not blasting them into a fine vapor. People smiling, people happy, people without fear or respect for the power I commanded. Feh, they would learn soon enough. In about two weeks from tomorrow, if my memory served me correctly, I would return from Wisconsin, free of that crippling weakness.

I was sent sprawling face-first into the sidewalk by an unexpected blow from behind, skidding against the abrasive surface with a startled yelp. Again, my face! I growled, hearing my voice start to slip into my deeper natural tone as I heard that grating laughter behind me.

"Hey, Fentoilet! Outta the way!" A voice I hadn't heard in ten years, not since I whispered my identity and blew him away. Dash Baxter, that annoying moron.

I started to get to my feet, eyes clamped shut in a parody of a grimace. In reality, I knew if I opened my eyes at that moment, they would be an unmistakably burning red. Words cannot describe how badly I wanted to blast that jock, to burn that mocking sneer off his blocky face.

I was yanked off my feet before I got upright, an intense, crippling pain shooting through my lower torso as I was roughly lifted a foot off the ground by my boxers. I don't think I had to worry about my voice as I was tossed carelessly aside, tumbling once or twice on the concrete with a displeased yelp.

"Too slow, loser." Dash chuckled as he and several of his dumb jock friends walked by. I growled, fighting desperately against the natural urge to just blast the lot of them. I could, and nothing could stop me, but Sam and Tucker were right there watching. To lash out now would ruin my cover and jeopardize my plan. Clockwork's scheme could not be permitted to succeed.

Sam gave me a hand getting back to my feet, a sympathetic look on her face. I refused to let that wedgie (which I dare say hurt more than most of the attacks I had been hit with in the past few years) go unpunished. I glanced up and saw a windowsill flower planter hanging from a second-story window above the jocks. Not lethal, but it would have to suffice for the time being. I pointed one finger, checking to make sure no one but Sam and Tucker saw it, and let a miniscule green beam fly.

"Danny!" Sam admonished me when the planter broke loose and fell on top of Dash, likely giving the idiot a new concussion to add to his collection.

"C'mon Sam, you know Dash was asking for it." Tucker chuckled as we resumed strolling toward the mall.

"Relax, Sam!" I finally spoke, once I was certain my voice wasn't going to slip. "It's just a little harmless fun, right?"

For now.

"Yeah, relax Sam. I heard that the arcade just got Alley Battler Omega: Third Fight in!" Tucker crowed. Ah, to be so careless and only concerned with such trivial things. At least he and Sam would die without being worried about their C.A.T. scores, given how both exuded a breezy confidence in their abilities, or a mild disdain for the impact of the test on their future.

As we walked into the arcade, I surveyed the surroundings. Bright lights, lots of kids and teens, mindlessly attending their games. I overheard bits and pieces of conversations, gossip and pointless chatter. Some I recognized not for having been my classmates so many years ago, but for the fact they had joined Valerie's hunter outfit. From such humble roots would rise the force responsible for thwarting my revenge so often.

"Danny? You alright?" Sam's voice cut through my thoughts, a mildly concerned look on her face. "You've been pretty quiet since you got back from the future."

She was pretty sharp. I would have to remember to be extremely careful lest I make her suspicious. Not that she could have actually done anything about it, but I would rather she not know it was me. Let her go to her death thinking she spent her last hours with that weak child that was my past.

"Me? I'm fine." I forced another smile. "Just... um... thinking. About the future. The test is tomorrow after all!"

"You're still worrying about the C.A.T.?" Sam raised an eyebrow. "You haven't returned the test answers, have you?"

Why was she so worried about those answers? Had she somehow connected the C.A.T. and my cheating to the destroyed city she'd seen ten years in the future? "Sam, don't worry. I'll take care of it."

She frowned, but didn't continue to harp on me about it. I frowned as well. They were my friends, fated to die or not. I couldn't save them ten years ago in my weakness, but now... I shook my head at the thought. No, changing the past would wipe out my existence, and replace the future with some new unknown course of history. True, I could save them all, but they would just continue to be a burden, preventing me from reaching my true potential. Best to let history run its proper course rather than take a massive gamble on alterations to the timeline. Clockwork had already made plenty of those.

"Danny! C'mere, you gotta check this out!" Tucker ran over and grabbed my arm, dragging me to one of the arcade machines. "You and me, let's go!"

It had been years since I last laid my hands on a joystick, the digital violence of the fighting game a nearly comedic parody of what I had seen, the carnage I had caused. Needless to say, while I had been quite good at video games years ago, my 'skillz' had deteriorated considerably. What can I say? I had far different priorities for the past decade than keeping my gaming skills up. Even Tucker was mildly surprised at how soundly he trounced me in the game.

"Whoa, you feeling all right dude?" Tucker raised an eyebrow.

"Guys, come on!" I responded, almost naturally. "We just went time traveling today! You saw that future, I think I'm allowed to be off my game!"

Well, it was a suitable excuse for my apparent lack of gaming prowess. Sam and Tucker exchanged thoughtful glances for a moment. "Yeah, Danny's right. You hungry?"

Thankful for the excuse to switch to a different diversion, I nodded agreement, while Tucker enthusiastically voiced his support. The three of us left the arcade, heading for the food court. It almost felt natural to be hanging with the two teens. Almost. It could never be truly right, they had to die because of my weakness.

We stopped at a burger place in the food court before we laid claim to a table. Funny, I hadn't eaten in years, it seemed oddly fitting that my first meal in ten years was with two people who would be dead by that time tomorrow.

"So, you doing anything after the test?" Sam asked conversationally over a tofu-soy melt. Those things smell absolutely disgusting, for the record. I don't know how she could ever eat the things.

"Oh, I dunno." I replied. "I thought maybe we could all hang out. Y'know, celebrate the future and all that."

Sam frowned slightly in thought. She must have still been thinking about the stolen test answers. "As long as we aren't celebrating that future, Danny."

Tucker was oblivious to the irony. For all his technical knowledge, he could at times be a most astounding idiot. "Sounds good to me. You guys wanna catch a movie?"

"Hey, Danny!" A familiar voice called out from a nearby table. "You ready for the C.A.T.?"

I glanced in the direction of the voice, almost certain my eye color may have slipped ever so briefly. Sitting at that table was a very familiar form, though I hadn't seen her in the yellow and orange ensemble since... well, the day after the C.A.T.

"Valerie." I growled in a voice so low and forcibly quiet that my friends didn't hear it. I raised my voice, working hard to maintain the higher pitched voice of my weakness. "Hey, Valerie. It's been awhile."