Marissa had to admit that she thought things weren't working out between her and Ryan, but she thought they were trying to fix thing and trying to stick it out together. She thought they were going to make it this time. Obviously she couldn't have been more wrong.
She should have known there was something up when after a weekend of making phone call after phone call to him, only to have them all end up unanswered and unreturned, he showed up at school acting like the perfect boyfriend. He held open doors, he pulled out chairs, he complimented her, he held her hand, he actually talked to her; all things he hadn't really done in over a month. Hell, on the Friday before, they were more distant than ever, but on Monday, it was like Friday never happened. And she didn't call him on it. She didn't ask him once where he was or what happened that weekend, but looking back Marissa knew she should have. It was all too perfect. The way they fell back into place so easily after really having solved nothing in there relationship should have seemed particular to her, but it didn't. She was just so happy to have her Ryan back. But of course, the charade couldn't last forever.
"Sadie?" Marissa asked, confused, as she opened the front door to the trailer to reveal the short brunette standing on her front porch late one night.
"Hey Marissa," Sadie squeaked out nervously as she rung her hands out in front of her. "Can I.." she started before trailing off and motioning past Marissa to inside. Her brow furrowing in confusion, Marissa nodded and moved out of the way, letting Sadie come inside. The second Marissa had shut the door, Sadie whipped around to face her.
"I just wanted to come by and apologize," she started quickly, running a hand through her tangled locks as she took a deep breath, too wrapped up in her own guilt to realize that Marissa looked even more lost and confused as she stood there with her arms crossed over her chest. "I mean I cant even imagine how mad you are at me right now, and I don't blame you... I'm a horrible person. I should have just taken Volchok with me like I was planning, but Ryan offered and.. oh god, I'm so sorry. Just please don't blame Ryan.. I know you guys are probably fighting, and he won't answer my calls anymore, and I just.."
"Wait; wait a second," Marissa suddenly interjected, holding up a hand to stop the loud brunette mid-ramble. Sadie stopped, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself as Marissa stepped closer to her, trying to process all that she was just told. She had no idea. "What are you talking about?"
"Well the road trip me and Ryan took to Indio, when we stayed over night there..." Sadie explained plainly, not realizing until she had already said too much that Marissa had no idea of what happened in that hotel room between her and Ryan. Sadie's face flushed bright red, completely mad at herself for what she had just done.
Realization slowly dawned on Marissa, her jaw falling open while she slowly fell back into the nearest chair as she pieced together everything that Sadie had said, it all finally making sense. Her eyes grew wide and focused on the floor, not even able to look at the other girl in the room anymore. All she could do was picture the two of them together. Touching each other.. and kissing each other.. Marissa could feel the bile rise up in her throat. She had never felt more hurt and betrayed in her life, and by the one person she never thought would do that.
"It was a one time thing. I don't even know how it happened, but you shouldn't be mad at him; I started it. I came on to him," Sadie explained quietly as she started to move towards Marissa, only to have her whip her head in the complete opposite direction. Sadie's shoulders slumped as she continued, "He probably just didn't want to ruin your relationship over this; something that didn't mean anything. Because it didn't. It doesn't matter at all."
But it did matter.
All the familiar hurt she'd been struggling with for the past few days rose in her body, accompanied by the sick rise of the hot bile in her throat as she relived the memory again in her head. Trying to forget, she dug her nails deeper into the fabric of his shirt as she let herself be slammed into the glass doors of the pool house so hard they rattled. The bright midday sun shone down on them as his lips attacked the skin exposed by her low-cut shirt. What they were doing was risky and dangerous and downright hurtful. But that's what she needed to do right now. She needed to hurt him just as bad as he hurt her, no matter what it took.
Blindly, she reached behind her and turned the door handle, just as his lips found hers. Both of them stumbled inside, keeping their lips locked on each others as he kicked the door shut. Their hands roamed on each others bodies, heightening their desire for each other, or rather for Marissa, her desire for revenge. Pulling on the front of his shirt, she took him with her as she walked backwards until the back of her calves hit the bed, causing her legs to bend at the knees and for her to fall back on the blue, fluffy comforter.
A rush of memories so strong she almost cried out hit her as she hit his bed. His smell filled her nose; just as comforting as ever, as she thought back to all the nights they'd spent in here together. She closed her eyes tight, dumbly wishing for a second that the man crawling on top of her was Ryan. But it wasn't.
Her eyes snapped open to see Kevin Volchok's dark eyes squinting down at her, a sly smile on his face as he leaned in to kiss her again. She flinched. Suddenly a flash of guilt hit her as she whipped her head to the side, making it so Kevin's lips hit her cheek and then her neck instead of her quivering lips.
Her eyes rapidly started to dart around the room. There was the Journey poster she had gotten him for his seventeenth birthday hanging on his wall. And then his drafting desk sat in the corner, covered in scattered papers she knew contained drawings of different houses he was already designing. Shifting her head to the other side as Kevin's lips ran over the top of her breasts, she looked to the bedside table, expecting to see the picture of the two of them at the beach that had been sitting there since it was taken, but instead she only found an empty space.
Her brow furrowed in confusion and hurt as her eyes darted around to find the picture that was not there to be found until Kevin's lips found hers again. Closing her eyes tight, she kissed him back as her mind raced with thoughts. When had he taken down there picture? Was it because he was sick of me? Or over me? Was he only still with me because he felt guilty for cheating on me, not because he really wanted to be? Did he think of me and feel any guilt or remorse right before he slept with Sadie? At the last thought, Marissa's eyes snapped open. She knew how to answer that question. No. Because if he would have felt guilty before hand, he wouldn't have done it. The guilt was only an after thought. The guilt was why he had been so perfect all this week. He obviously didn't love her anymore, and she couldn't tell anymore if he ever had.
She ran one of her hands down her side until it reached her pocket. Immediately she dug inside, pulling out her dark pink razor phone. She flipped it open and started looking through the menu as she held it next to her side. Kevin sucked on her neck and ran his hand up her shirt, but she could hardly feel it. All she could feel was pain. She couldn't remember another time that she felt so heartbroken. Ryan was supposed to be the one. He was the only person in her life that had every truly been there for her. He was the only one who had ever really cared. And now it was all ruined. He cheated on her and he broke her heart and it was over. It would never be the same again. Now all she could do was get him back. Make him hurt just as much as she was hurting.
Finding the video program on her phone, she quickly brought her other hand up and pulled on Kevin's hair, bringing his head up so that his lips found hers just as she turned the program on. Flipping the phone around so its tiny little lens focused on the two of them and the room around them, she kissed Kevin as hard as she could, running her tongue into his mouth while his tongue wrestled against hers. As he pulled away slightly, she tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth, until he moved down to her breasts again, the camera catching enough to see that he was unbuttoning the front of her shirt. Turning towards her camera, she stared at it, biting the inside of her mouth to keep from smiling or crying, which one she wasn't sure, before softly speaking up, her voice full of hurt.
"We're even.. and we're over."
Immediately she shut off the recording video, saved it, and turned it into a message. Typing in speed dial number one, Ryan Atwood, she quickly hit send before she gave herself a chance to change her mind.
Ryan was going to get one hell of a surprise message today.