Disclaimer : All characters belongs to J. K. Rowlings. All were kidnapped in the dawn, and are not used to make money. They will be returned when I'm done.
See, don't own so don't sue, unless you're interested in my teddy bears collection...
Besides this work will contain people out of character since I am definitely not JK Rowlings, and some strange sentences since I'm French. Not to forget it's an AU... Still here?
So, on with the show...
Chapter 17 – Portkey, Dinner, Minister and Students' makeover, all in all an ordinary day at Hogwarts
Blaise and Harry were nearly dozing, not even bothering with Severus' rhetorical question of "Was I suddenly transfigured into a pillow?", their nearly sleepless night, early rising and worrying about James finally catching up with them.
The peace of their little familly bonding, though Severus would have been more than happy to qualify it as 'familly snoring', their peace then, was suddenly shattered. The first sign of agitation they noticed was a very loud 'bang' coming from the examination room. Soon followed by hissing loud enough to be heard through the door as well as muffled shrieks.
The door flew open and mediwizzards and witches alike streamed from the door, nearly climbing over each other in their attempt to get out of the room in as less time as possible. They were too shaken to pay attention to the three black haired people sitting against the wall, even as a few of them bumped into their huddled group.
The cause of such an agitation became soon apparent as it followed them into the corridor, pupils a vertical line, all claws extended, the hair of his tail standing on ends, making it seems twice its size, and hissing like a pressure coocker on the verge of exploding.
James Potter was pissed, very pissed and had absolutely no qualms letting everybody know. Even Severus, who had been witness to James' temper before was impressed and wincing. James snarled to the backs of the retreating medical crew, his tail switching back and forth with regularity, snapping in the air like a whip. "I am not a cute cat! I am not a cute anything!" he roared.
White faced, the group of fleeing people stopped at a safe distance once they realised that James was not going to pounce on them any more and hesitantly turned to face him. Ignoring their anguished whispers and his sons' snickering, James was currently walking into a circle, muttering occasionaly some words like "insane", "cat" and "cute", raking his hands through his hairs, or waving them wildly around.
Severus sighed before getting slowly to his feet. Some of the more courageous medi wizzards and witches began to make silent hand signals at Severus as they guessed his attention to confront James, who was giving an image of danger and agitation. Severus smirked as he noticed that they seemed torn between their want to protect him and their prudence to avoid attracting the ranting nekojin's attention on themselves.
Severus paid them absolutely no attention, concentrating instead on his fuming husband, ordering Harry and Blaise to stay put with a wave of his hand. He carefully studied his husband's smallest moves, his sharp eyes missing nothing, his brain analysing and cataloguing each turn. When he had found what he deemed to be a 'perfect moment', one when it would be safe to approach James, he pounced and envelopped James into his embrace.
James stiffened at first, struggling quite a bit and hissing anew, but soon relented as he caught a whiff of Severus' smell. He turned into his arms to face Severus and hugged him as hard as he was hugged. Smirking over James' shoulder to the astounded medical crew members, Severus scratched behind one of James' ear. The effect was immediate. In a few second's time James went from hissing to purring, from rigidly tense to boneless.
"What happened?" Severus whispered, his breath sending small shivers down James' slight frame.
"You know how I was already fed up with this whole joke before it even began, right?" he waited for Severus' nod before going on, "Then that witch said that she didn't understand why I had to submit to this, as I seemed to be so cute, and...I snapped." He confessed, hiding his blushing face into Severus' neck.
Severus began to rub his back and threw his best glare at the stunned and awed onlookers. "My husband submitted to your every whim, but now it's enough! You will let him in peace, or you might suddenly found yourselves part of your patients. That is the only warning you will receive. Have I made myself clear?"
He never raised his voice, but the Hall was so silent that even had he whispered, everybody would still have been able to hear him clearly.The crowd nodded, some of them gulping, one or two fainting.
"If you want more information, you will have to contact the Zabini lair. We're going." His tone softened as he adressed his clinging husband. "Let's get you dressed properly before going, I somehow doubt that walking around in your underwear is going to impress the minister favorably."
Harry shrugged "Well, maybe if we all did the same..."
Blaise clapped and jumped exitedly "We could start a fashion trend!"
Both were smiling from ear to ear, as if baiting explosive nekojins and volatile potions masters was an everyday harmless occurence.
"Can't we let them here?" Severus asked James, feigning an aggravated tone.
James chuckled "As much as it would please me to make those people suffer, I don't think they deserve our sons. Besides, all they did was obeying orders, and we don't need Saint Mungo's destroyed. There are still people who need medical care."
"Unfortunately, it means we'll have to take them back to Hogwards." Severus deadpanned.
"There" Madam Pomfrey cut in before Blaise and Harry could interviene, and handed James his clothes.
A few minutes later, Severus sighed. Loudly.
"James, love, you can't dress single handedly. You have to let go of me."
James shook his head in denial, tightening the already tight grip he had on his husband's wrist. He suddenly grinned at Severus. "Since you're in such a hurry, why don't you lend me one of your hands?" Severus rolled his eyes but seeing that James was still a little uneasy, he complied. After a few awkward moments, James was ready to leave.
"A reward for your help, kind Sir" he simpered, batting his eyelashes at Severus before kissing him deeply under his sons' cheering.
"Now I know where those two hell spawned brats got their cheek from." Severus muttered as soon as he could breathe. Said brats only sniggered, but a glint in their eyes warned him to be careful and watch out for incoming pranks.
Madam Pomfrey herself was barely refraining from laughing as she handed the Potter-Snape familly their portkey. The whole group disappeared, the last thing the medics heard was Severus' startled yelp, as his husband's hand "accidently" slipped from his waist to his arse.
They rematerialised into Hogwarts Headmaster's office, in which Albus Dumbledore twinkled at them in greeting, his hands never stopping in their petting of Fawkes.
"Well done, Severus, you kept your calm and didn't hex anybody, congratulations! Do you want a lemon drop?"
Everybody looked at him in desbelief, Severus pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Albus!" he seethed before slamming his hands down on the desk in front of his employer "No I do not want a lemon drop. All I want is some answers."
"Answers, Severus?"
"Yes. Why did you sent Lupin and Black to my quarters?"
"Didn't I told you?" Dumbledore frowned thoughtfully, "it was because I didn't want anybody to know that they were still alive, and Remus couldn't travel much... You don't remember? It must be all this work...Some holydays perhaps..."
Severus' hands clenched at his sides, as if he was restraining himself from physically harming the Headmaster. He was so tense he jumped slightly when James' hand landed on his shoulder. Nodding and covering it with his own, Severus took a few deep cleansing breathes.
Dumbledore adressed James next. "James, I can't even begin to find the words I'd like to use to express my pleasure at seing you alive again! And congratulations on your wedding! Though the adoption papers didn't please the minister at all."
James shrugged before settling himself against Severus' side.
Albus went on "I took the liberty of adding another room to your quarters, Severus, this way you will be able to house your sons during the week ends and the holydays, should you chose to stay here. But I must insist that both Blaise and Harry go back to ther dorms for the week nights."
His twinkle dimmed a bit when he found himself nailed by three Nekojins' glares. And Harry's and Blaise's share glance and grin did nothing to help his unease.
"Well, it's nearly lunch time! You should eat in your quarters with James, Severus and take the afternoon to rest. As I don't want the students any more distracted than they naturally are, I'll do an annoncement at dinner to inform anybody that James is not only back, but also married to you..."
"And pregnant" James swiftly inserted.
The assembled people had the rare pleasure of seeing the Headmaster with his mouth hanging open, completely stunned speechless by schock.
James frowned, and, acting as if he had been struck by a flash of inspiration fished something into his pant's pocket and presented Albus with Albus' own tin of lemon drops.
"You seem a tad flustered, Albus, would you care for a lemon drop?" he asked, blinking innocently.
"James..." groaned Severus. Blaise and Harry were delighted. Madam Pomfrey seized the opportunity to put her oar in.
"By the way, James, the exams clearly show that you should eat more vegetables. Severus, you will have to make sure he does."
James pouted and snaked his arms around Severus' waist, gripping him tightly. Albus finally shook his shock enough to take part in the conversation. "Congratulations one more time, boys! But what does it entails?"
Severus answered "It means that he will be grafted to my side, or at least, have the need to keep me in sight, if not physically touching, holding my hand or arm."
"Anything else?"
"Mood swings are extremely dangerous, as he has sharp claws. Though they are entertaining. But it would be wise to warn the students not to anger him if I am not near to calm him."
The Headmaster nodded and fidgeted for a while before he ventured to ask his next question. "Do you think that James could give the students a lecture on Nekojins?"
Severus glanced at his husband who was nuzzling his shoulder with his face, his eyes half closed.
"We'll see about that, but right now, would it be possible to get to lunch before James fell asleep on my shoulder?"
Albus beamed and benigly shooed them out of his office and towards their quarters. Harry and Blaise tagged along for a while, before hugging in turn each of them and running towards the Great Hall and lunch.
"Harry! Finally! How was poor Sirius? Is he treated alright? And where's Moony?" Ron, not even bothering to swallow before speaking fired at Harry as soon as he sat on the bench.
"Ron, you should begin by swallowing your food first, and then greeting Harry correctly." Hermione chastised Ron and turned excitedly towards Harry. "So, how was the ceremony?"
Harry sighed, already regretting his decision to come and eat with his friends, as well as the peace he had found with his new found familly.
He winced as he noticed the interested airs of the other Gryffindors who had leaned in to listen. He regretfully launched into a description of the ceremony, smiling a little as he retold Sirius' agitation before the ceremony. His male year mates cheered when he get to the point where the Aurors left, dragging a bound Pettigrew away. They all congratuled him on having his godfather back, and being able to prove his innocence. They all laughed at Harry's sketch of James' confrontation with Fudge.
Harry had only began to eat when his yearmates bombarded him with questions.
"Blimey, Harry, so it's true? Your dad's alive?"
"Yes, Seamus, very much alive."
"Did he really marry Professor Snape? Of his own free will?"
"I hope that it was not the Greasy Git that was forcing him away from you!"
"Is Snape really as snarky in private as he is with us?"
"Does he treat your father right?"
"Yes Neville, no Ron, no Dean, he'd better or my father would retaliate in kind, Ginny. Now, if you are all finished..."
"But he's a Nasty Slytherin Git extraordinaire!"
"And, Ron?"
"Your father was a Gryffindor!"
"Stop whining, and your point is?" Harry was nearly hissing, but Ron didn't or wouldn't, hear the warning.
"He's a Slytherin! He'll betray your father!"
Harry suddenly stood up and dragged Ron up by his robes. He spoke in a deadly calm tone "The only betrayer I heard of was Peter Pettigrew, and he was a Gryffindor, in case you don't remember or chose to forget. Now, I'm sorry if this doesn't fit into your perfect little world, but that's the way it is. Grow up, Ron! Now, if you don't mind..." He released Ron and strode towards the Great Hall's doors.
Ron's only comment was a strange strangled sound. Harry paused on his way out to accept the apples and bread Blaise had collected for him. He snarled to the Slytherins who were looking oddly at him. They snarled back, making him smile brightly. 'Let them mule on this!' he decided, exiting the premise with a cheerful wave, equally distributed between the astounded Gryffindors and Slytherins.
People were so occupied gogling at Harry that no-one noticed Blaise passing the doors. Harry ducked his head on the threshold, hiding a smirk. Draco Malfoy was the only one to notice this, and only because he had been looking. Sensing his throat constrict, and losing all his appetite in anticipation of what Harry and Blaise were now preparing, he decided he suddenly had somewhere else to be.
He decided to look for them, because he had discovered that keeping them in sight was the only way to get an inkling of an idea of what they were planning. He found the pair in the library, hunched over a thick book and whispering back and forth. They looked up at his entrance. They smirked at him, and for the first time in his life, Draco Malfoy felt unsure, and sweating. Especially when hold at wandpoint by two mischievous and smirking Nekojins, which was very bad, as he had discovered early in their association. Why, oh why hadn't he listened to this inner voice telling him not to find them?
He was so absorded in his self pity party that he didn't noticed that something was amiss until he heard both Nekojins' sniggering. He groaned as he noticed that he was in his unerwear. A few seconds later, his clothes found their way back on his body, to his great relief.
He sighed "What are you planning now?"
Twin fanged smiles were flashed at him.
"We're starting a new fashion trend!" issued in stereo from both black haired teens.
"Poor Hogwarts."
"Apple? Bread?"
Accepting the peace offering for what it was, Draco grabbed both from Harry's hands and sat near Blaise. They were all laughing at Harry's retelling of his conversation with his yearmates when the bell signaling the resumption of lessons tolled.
Draco had barely enough time to regain his breath before being dragged towards the stairs by two energetic Nekojins. All day long, several students suddenly found themselves in their underwear.
Harry was smiling when he climbed through the Fat Lady's opening to ditch his bag before dinner, remembering the students' surprised and embarassed faces as they felt their clothes disappearing. Till now, none of them had made the link between their derogatory comments on James, or for some like Ron, on Severus and their sudden draughty situation.
His bubble of cheer was suddenly popped wen he looked up and found Ron and all his male yearmates plus Hermione all waiting for him with grim faces. Harry gulped, the situation didn't look good for him... He froze in place, feeling torn between two urges.
One of them being to change into his cat form, seeing as it was easier this way to dodge curses, hexes and heavy object such as Hermione's books. His Slytherin side quickly vetoed it. There was, afterall, no need to broadcast the fact that he could turn into a cat at will. There surely would be a jalous student to rat to the ministry that he was an unregistered animagus, bringing him and his familly trouble. And it might prove an advantage when trying to escape.
His Gryffindor side wanted him to confront his friends, standing his ground to discover what they wanted. He needed to know where they stood before deciding if he had to retaliate, or if he still had Gryffindor friends. His Harry's side settled on a compromise : he dropped his bag and readied himself to bolt.
Hermione stepped up to him, and, approaching him like one would a jumpy rabbit, she took her hand and guided him to a chair in front of the fire.
"Harry" she began, kneeling in front of him, and keeping his hand in hers, "We are worried about you. You have been avoiding us since you returned from the Eastern holydays. You always seemed to disappear right after the lessons, and were nowhere to be found."
Seeing Harry opening his mouth to answer she hastened to reassure him. "We know now that you were with your father and professor Snape, trying to find a way to help Sirius. But you could have warned us before we got too worried. What we would like to know, is if you still consider us your friends."
For a few seconds, all Harry could do was gasping at her like a fish before nodding eagerly. "Of course, you're my friends, it's just that I have so much time to catch up with my father, and what with the ministry, we're sure they'll try to separate us..."
"We'll help you, don't worry."
Harry gave Hermione a small smile "Even if it means working with some Slytherins?"
"Which ones?"
"Zabini and Malfoy, as well as professor Snape. He's really different when he's with my father, you know. He doesn't oppose Sirius so much. They made their peace, and all thanks to my father!"
Ron shyly joined them. He cleared his throat. "Harry, I'd like to excuse myself for my behaviour at dinner. But Snape is so..."
"Snape?" Harry proposed.
"Well, yeah." He grinned sheepishly. "Are you angry? You're really scary when you're angry, you know..."
Harry shook his head negatively.
Ron sighed. "As long as you don't expect me to like professor Snape..."
Harry blinked innocently "Why would I want that? Though I feel obliged to warn you that my father is quite the jealous type, and trying to seduce his husband will not go well with him."
Ron grimaced in disgust "Oh, no! They have corrupted you already!" he moaned.
Everybody laughed, Seamus and Dean clapping Harry on the back before leaving the common room. Hermione hugged him before settling in front of the fire with a thick book while Ron ran to the sixth year's dormitory to dispose of his bag. Done, he collected Hermione and Harry. It was reconciled friends who trooped down the stairs to dinner. Harry smiled softly as he noticed the extra chair at the teachers' table.
Once sure that all the students were sat, the Headmaster clinged his fork on his goblet to obtain silence.
"Students, silence please. I have an annoncement to make." He waited a few minutes for the hubbub to died down before adding "As many of you have noticed, and commented upon, there is one more chair at the teachers' table. This chair is for Professor Snape's husband."
He waited for the conversations to hushed enough for him to be heard again "His husband is pregnant, so I'd like you to avoid doing magic near him. He is also a Nekojin, so mood swings are bound to be life threatening if he is angered enough without professor Snape around to calm him." His last words were drowned by the raising voices of the students tossing wild guesses around, trying to discover who could be saintly enough to marry the snarky professor.
The door situated behind the teachers' table opened and closed in the greatest indifference. Only Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco and Blaise noticed Severus holding James' chair out for him. A sudden scream from the Hufflepuff table brought everybody's attention to a white faced Hannah Abbott, who was pointing towards the Head Table. The students turned and gogled at James who was clinging to Severus' arm, his ears twitching. The whole hall erupted into noise.
The noise was suddenly silenced, as all that was getting out of the students' mouths were different shaped bubbles. They all turned to the Head table to see a smug James putting his wand away before massaging his ears. The students exchanged looks before returning their eyes to the head table. The Headmaster turned towards James and opened his mouth to ask James to lift his hex, but all that came out was a question mark.
James shook his head stubbornly and turned to Severus. His bubble was in form of a fish, and Severus gave him the fish plate. Dumbledore looked perplex for a while before snapping his fingers. He turned to James and "bubbled" him to pass him the pumpkin juice. He clapped and smiled when James complied.
His incantation took the form of a quill before words began to appear out of the air above the teachers' heads, explaining that all they had to do was speak and the bubbles would take the shape of what they desired.
He turned to James and bubbled another question mark.
James bubbled a clock.
Dumbledore shrugged, the writing indicating that the curse had no counter, and that it will wear off in time. The writing faded and Dumbledore bubbled a wizzard who was twindling his thumbs.
James nodded and bubbled a few agitated and noisy small Nekojins, explaining that it was an hex used by Nekojins to silenced too noisy children.
Every students found this amusing as soon as they get the hang of it, save for a few Slytherins. Harry made a note to himself to discuss with Blaise of what he had discovered about a few Slytherins who had lost their calm masks due to the shock. True, there was incredulity and loathing, but there was no surprise, more a confirmation of an already known fact, as well as some denial.
Severus and James broke the gossip record, previously owned by Harry's nomination as the fourth champion of the Triwizzard tournament. They were all the students spoke about for two whole weeks, much to James' embarassement.
Harry was swamped by students trying to get more informations on either James or the frigtening Potions master, wanting tips on how to act around them or trying to get him to intercede for help in potions or a fairer treatment. Even fed up with all this, Harry was happy that it was Blaise who had to deal with the Slytherins.
They were so occupied they nearly had no time to see each other outside of their lessons or the hours they spent with their fathers. Both were waiting impatiently for their first potion class, they couldn't wait to see how Severus Snape would manage to teach with one James Potter pinned on his back. Oh, they had heard rumours all right, but reality was so much better! And full of possible blackmail material...
They were waiting in the potions corridor, impatient to begin. They were discussing Harry's observations from the event which had been called 'the bubbles event' when a loud "maaa!" sounded soon followed by pounding feet.
They were engulfed into a tight hug. They sighed with relief when James began to purr, happy that he seemed to be in a good mood.
A slightly panting Severus stopped near them, and immediately found himself with an armful of loudly purring Nekojin. If Severus hadn't had his back to the wall, both of them would have ended sprawled on the floor.
The potions master rolled his eyes when he noticed his sons' puzzled glances. "Happy moods are tiring, especially when you are pushed out of bed at five by your husband because he got the idea to go and walk in the dew."
Once everybody had taken his or her seat, the lesson began. Severus faced his gogling students, James' arms around his chest, a happily purring Nekojin plastered against his back to peek over his shoulder.
"Get your cauldrons out!" he snapped, angered with the students' reaction, "You will make a skin colour changing potion. The ingredients are on the board, get to work! And no, James, you are not helping. Last time you did, your cauldron exploded and Blaise ended green and fluorescent for one month."
"Well, he was popular with the youngsters at night, and we always knew where he was when he tried to prank us..." James tried.
"No, James, I don't want the school to explode. Ouch!" he winced. James had resorted to scratching his husband to get his way, seeing as pleading hadn't work.
"Alright, but you're working with Blaise and Harry. Blaise will at least be able to stop your most idiotic pranks. I hope." Severus relented and found himself turned to face his grinning Nekojin who pecked him on the lips before positively skipping to his sons' workstation. Everything went well until...
"Dad! You can't eat that!"
"Why not?"
"Because it is not edible. And we need it for the potion. Here, have an apple instead." Blaise ended the argument by dropping an apple in his father's hand.
James pouted but nibbled on his apple. He suddenly sniffed the air a few time before hissing, displaying impressive fangs, his ears flat on his skull and facing backwards. He leapt over the workstation and ran to the door. He was so angry that he let his feline instincts supersede his human ones, and, instead of using the door handle, he clawed at the door. That was probably what saved the intruder's life, as it left Severus enough time to react and strode towards James to restrain him.
"Don't open the door if you value your life!" the Potions master warned whoever was on the other side.
"I will not allow you to threaten me like that..." Cornelius Fudge muffled tirade became clearer as he stupidly opened the door to face Severus.
All he got was a direct view on impressive fangs and extended claws as James nearly leaped out of his husband's restraining hold. He stepped back in fright, avoiding to be enucleated by a scant few millimeters. His beloved bowling hat did not share his luck and ended its life shredded into tiny confettis by James' claws. Without further ado Cornelius Fudge turned tail and ran to the Headmaster's office.
James spat one last time in the direction of the door before making himself comfortable into Severus' arms and promptly falling asleep.
He didn't even woke up when Blaise and Harry's cauldron blew up, thanks to his half eaten apple, which had fallen into it unoticed during James' leapt over the table.
"I knew it was a bad idea!" Severus mumbled, once the dust settled. All the students were now sporting green, red, blue and yellow spots on their skin. Apart from Blaise and Harry, who had hidded themselves into their cat forms at the first signs of an imminent explosion.
Severus, extended a green spotted hand, passed the whole length of his husband's multicolored tail through it. James purred but didn't woke up.
"The spots will disappear in a few hours." He explained his now dalmatian students, "Tidy the room up and the rest of the period is free. You'll just do a three rolls essay on the skin colour changing potion, and how something as simple as an apple could change it."
"You really are trouble, James Potter-Snape." He murmured fondly into his husband unruly hair before sweeping it back to kiss his forehead. He walked back, dragging James so that he could seat in his chair and installed a sleeping James comfortably on his lap.
"That was interesting." Commented Ron while poking at a green spot on his arm.
"They are cute together." Hermione smiled, tucking a strand of blue spotted hairs behind her ear.
"That they are." Agreed Seamus, blinking yellow ringed eyes. "It is kind of strange when everywhere you look the first thing you see is yellow..."
Dean snickered "You look like a yellow panda, or ratoon."
Seamus blew him a raspberry "And you look like you have a bad case of colored acne!"
The Gryffindors and Slytherins sixth year potions students were the new attraction till the spots disappear. The photos Colin Creevey took sold a good price.
Severus suspected James did it on purpose, to give the students something else to speak about, not that he would complain about that.