I'm back with another chapter! Yay! This chapter isn't as funny as the last one, but I hope it won't be too serious. Anyway, it's time to start the show!

Chapter 1-2

What's the Harm?

"Feeble humans," a voice said hauntingly in the darkness. Leon and Katrina were still out cold, each strapped to a medical chair. "Let us give you our power…" Footsteps were heard, followed by a startled sound. "Oh, my," the voice said. "I've seemed to have injected myself… Ah, well what's the harm in another parasite?"

"Um… Saddler…" A high and heavily accented voice said to the first. "There's a giant eyeball in your mouth."

"Oh… I guess that's the harm." A long pause with many anime sweatdrops ensued. "Salazar, get me another serine." The second voice obviously complied as the pair felt a small twinge of pain in their necks, followed by an odd lump getting shoved into it. The voice laughed as his faithful servants looked shockingly embarrassed to know him. "Soon, you will become unable to resist this...intoxicating power."

Leon's eyes snapped open. He looked around franticly. He was in another room than the one he got his ass kicked in. He tried standing, but he quickly realized that he was tied to the guy he had just rescued and his new 'partner', Katrina. "Hey. Hey. Wake up," Leon said to them, nudging them a bit as he did so.

"Was I dreaming?" Katrina said tiredly. Realizing that, no, she wasn't dreaming, she was still in her RE4 parody, she sighed and mumbled, "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore…" 'Let's see…' she thought as she tried to remember what happened next. She was shocked to find that even though she had beaten the game several times, she couldn't remember a thing. 'This is just perfect! I know I've beaten it… I remember being really happy afterwards… But I don't remember anything other than what just happened… This is really crappy. What's this guy's name? I know I know it but…'

Luis came to a few seconds later. "Ai yi yi…" he mumbled. "Crawl out of one hole, and into another…"

"You want to tell me what's going on here?" Leon said looking as best he could at Luis.

"Yeah!" Katrina said, back to her old loud self. "We want answers and we want them now!"

"Americanos, si?" he said to the two of them. "Now what brings a pair of blokes like you to this part

of the world?" As Leon started struggling with the ropes. Katrina let out a small cry of pain. "Easy, whoever you are," Luis said with a similar sound.

"My name's Leon," he said reaching into his back pocket to find the picture of Ashley. Before handing Luis the picture, Leon gestured to his current companion and said, "She's Katrina, by the way."

Somehow, Leon managed to show the picture to Luis. "What, are you supposed to be a cop or something?" Luis said with a snicker. "Nah, you don't look the type. And she definitely doesn't." Katrina just remained silent.

"Maybe…" Leon said. Katrina noticed that he was musing about something that she thought she knew, but just couldn't remember.

"Okay, Let me guess," Luis said looking up at the ceiling with something that looked very close to guilt. "She's the President's daughter?"

"That's too good for a guess," Leon observed, eyebrow raised. "Want to start explaining?"

"Psychic powers," Luis whispered mysteriously, immediately, he went back to the old Luis and with a small laugh said. "Nah, just kidding with you, amigos. I overheard one of the villagers talking something about

the President's daughter in the church."

"And who might you be?" Leon asked skeptically.

"Me llamo Luis Sera. I used to be a cop in Madrid. Now I'm just a good-for-nothing guy, who happens to be quite the ladies' man." Katrina scoffed quietly at his last comment.

"Why'd you quit?" She asked, having the strangest feeling of déjà vu.

"Policia..." Luis said scoffing. "You put your life on the line, no one really appreciates you enough for it. Being a hero isn't what it's cracked up to be anymore."

"Used to be cop myself," Leon said. "Only for a day though…"

"I thought I was bad," Luis said with a sarcastic grin.

" Somehow I managed to get myself involved with the incident in Raccoon City, on my first day in the force…"

"That is the incident with the viral outbreak right? I think I might have seen a sample of the virus in the lab at my department…"

The two men weren't paying attention to what was going on around them, and at just the perfect moment, Katrina looked up from the ground and shouted as loud and as panicked as she could muster, "AXE!"

The two men turned their heads at the source of Katrina's outburst, seeing a bloody villager with a very, very big axe. "Do something, cop!" Luis said, panicking.

"After you!" Leon said back to him.

"It doesn't matter who does something, just do it!" Katrina shouted. The villager raised his axe high above the trios heads and started to bring it down on both of them.

"Now!" Leon shouted to the other two and at his signal, Luis and Leon moved apart and Katrina (as best she could) dived out of the way so she wouldn't get sliced in half. Because that would be bad. That would be very bad because then this fic would just stop and so would all her others.

The villager pried his axe from the floor and advances on Leon. Leon

kicked him into the wall, breaking his neck upon falling on

the ground. Luis ran out of there as fast as he could. "You coward!" Katrina shouted after him. "How dare you leave a lady alone in a place like this! You're no lady's man! You're a fraud!"

Leon picked up his radio and called Hunnigan. "Hey babe," he said suavely. "It's Leon. Sorry I couldn't get in touch sooner but I was a bit tied up"

"You're okay, right?" she asked him, sounding sympathetic for once.

"I'm fine," Leon said shrugging.

"Damn."

"There was a male civilian held captive. According to him, Ashley's in a church somewhere."

"What happened to him?"

"He managed to escape…"

"Like the little pussy that he is!" Katrina shouted to the radio.

"Leon, who the hell is that?" Hunnigan said furrowing her bow in a way that Leon would describe as 'sexy'.

"That's Katrina. She's a writer," Leon said with a sigh. "She's a bit of a psycho, but she can defend herself well enough."

"What is she doing with you?"

"I broke her magic pen, or whatever, and now she's stuck here with me."

"Riiiiight… Just find Ashley. I think there's a way to the church from the village. Head back that way," Hunnigan said hanging up before Leon got a chance to hit on her anymore.

As the duo left the house, a man with a British accent said to them "Over here, stranger. Got something that might interest you." The pair found out that he was a Merchant, specializing in a small black market for weaponry in that area. Leon and Katrina decided that they should buy a rifle while they were here. Putting all of the funds they had collected along the way together, the rifle was now theirs. They thanked the man and walked through the large metal gate…

After fighting their way past a very large group of insane villagers, Katrina and Leon were relieve for a little bit of R and R… Even though it would only last about five minutes. "So…" Leon said putting some First Aid Spray on a nasty looking gash on his arm. "I wanted to say that I was sorry for breaking your magic pen…"

"It's no problem," Katrina said while rubbing a local herb over a pitchfork wound.

"I know, but… You wouldn't be here if I hadn't broke it."

"I don't really mind being here, it's kind of cool seeing the game from the inside… I just…" She sighed.

"What?"

"One of the laws of fanfiction state that you could immediately loose your license if your Uber Author Pen v3.79 (standard issue) gets lost, stolen, broken, burned, snapped in half, etc. So once I get back, I won't be allowed to write anymore…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that I would do all that."

"That's not what's really bothering me though… I could still write, I just wouldn't be able to show or tell anyone. The real issue is that one of my teachers at OFU told me that if you are doing a self-insert and your pen gets lost, or what-have-you, you'll be trapped forever in that fic… And not as an all-knowing author… It's already started happening to me… I can't remember what's supposed to happen next…"

Seeing Katrina's eyes tear up a little, Leon gave her a smile and helped her off the ground. "Don't worry," he said. "You'll get home somehow. I know you will. But for right now, we need to save Ashley."

"You're right…" Katrina instantly pepped up and with a wide grin she started walking away from Leon. "Let's go!"

Fighting the dynamite wielding villagers a second time was considerably easier and (for Katrina) considerably less frightening. She even managed to kill one of the villagers. Saps for Katrina!

"C'mon Leon!" Katrina said as she ran forward, thankful to not be underground. She should have watched her step, however, as she stepped directly into a bear trap. Screaming in pain, she looked at the rusty metal spikes clamping down on her leg. Leon ran up to her (careful to avoid the other two traps) and pried it off of her.

"You okay?" Leon said. Katrina looked paler than usual, as she looked at some blood stain her pants. "Can you walk? Let me help you up." Leon grabbed her by the arm and lifted her onto her feet, the instant he let go, she stumbled. "I'll carry you then."

"It's okay… I'm fine…" Katrina said, swallowing a painful gasp. "No need… I don't want to be dead weight…" Not accepting 'no' for an answer, Leon picked Katrina up in his arms and walked up to the large house in front of them. With a painful smile, Katrina mock-screamed, "I need an adult! I need an adult!"

"Don't worry. I've got some First Aid Spray. Once we get in this house, I'll use some of it for your leg." Leon said walking up the narrow staircase in the house. They reached a large stone door that seemed to be the only entrance to the house. "How the hell are we supposed to open it? It doesn't have any sort of handle…" Leon growled.

Katrina looked into the aqua colored orb in the middle of the door. There was a weird metal design in it. On either side of the orb there was the same symbol that she had seen on the flags in the valley and on the door into the church. She ran a hand over the blue crystal and found out that it moved. "Leon! I've got it!" She rolled the orb up a bit and then left. The door opened as soon as the metal design inside it matched the strange insect-esque symbol.

The duo walked into the house, into a bedroom with a portrait of an old guy in a purple robe and some other such bedroom furniture. In a partially opened suitcase, Leon and Katrina found the Insignia Key (which , coincidentally, matched the strange symbol that Katrina saw everywhere, and walked through the door…

I am done with chapter two/ Don't forget to please review.

What? I like to rhyme…

Peace out!