Sixty years later…
A little old lady hobbled over to her computer and wondered what it was that she had forgotten. 'I know it happened all those years ago…' she thought to herself as she logged onto her old fanfiction(dot)net account. "SHIT!" She screamed realizing that she had forgotten to update her Resident Evil 4 parody and even though Capcom had just finished making Resident Evil 9, she didn't care, and so, the little old lady sat down to write…
That's my excuse people: I turned into an old lady. Sorry it's been so long, though. I really meant to update this a while ago… Oy vey… But seriously though, here's the long over-due chapter that you've all been anticipating!
Chapter 2-1
Go Check the Medical Dictionary for 'Veins' and 'Black'
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Katrina bolted up, realizing that she was inside a cabin. It was dark outside for one of two reasons, it was night or it was raining. She was figuring that it was a mix of both. Leon soon followed suit and woke up and took a quick look around. Katrina opened her mouth as if to say something, but instead she started to scream in pain. Leon reached a hand out for her, than quickly retracted it as he began to feel the same pain. Black, inky veins began to appear on the duo's arms as they both screamed. "Leon! Go check the medical dictionary for 'Veins' and 'Black'!" Promptly, two woke up.
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Leon's communicator beeped and he involuntarily picked it up. "Leon. it's been 6 hours since our last transmission. I was starting to get worried," Hunnigan said as she looked at the agent with genuine concern.
"Don't you mean lonely?" Leon said, with a perverted smile and a wink.
"No, I don't." Hunnigan was still as relentless as ever.
"Anyway, me and Katrina started to feel dizzy. I guess we must have passed out."
"Passed out? Maybe it has some connection to what that village chief was saying…"
"I don't know. But we're okay now."
While Leon was talking to Hunnigan, Katrina had been looking around the cabin. The only thing of interest that she had found was a note:
'There is an important item hidden in the falls, if you are able to get it you might be able to get Ashley out of the church. But I'll warn you, the route to the church isn't a walk in the park by any means. They've developed what's called an "El Gigante" so God bless.
About what's been going on in your body, if I could help you, I would. But unfortunately it's beyond my power.'
It looked like it was written quickly, like the author had wanted to get out of there as soon as he could. 'An "El Gigante"? An "the giant"? Man, this guy sounds like a real idiot,' Katrina thought, flaunting her D- in Spanish 4. "Hey, Leon. Check this out." She said handing the note to Leon, who quickly read it. "Think it's legit?"
"Nope, but I'm going to trust it anyway; it's the only lead that we have right now," Leon said putting the note in one of his pockets.
"I'll give you that one. So, to the falls?"
"To the falls."
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There were few things that could have made Leon and Katrina's current situation worse. A giant bug-mutant/blade-thing popping out of a villager's head was one of those things. "Holy Hell!" Katrina screamed as the thing grew closer to the pair of them. Leon, cool as a cucumber, aimed his 'borrowed' shotgun at the monstrous head and pulled the trigger. The thing died instantly and Katrina laughed a little and said, "Well, I could have done that!"
"True, but you were too busy screaming again."
"Shut up, Mister Kennedy!" Katrina said, accenting her voice semi-familiarly on the last two words. 'Where have I heard that voice before…'
After a short and slightly uncomfortable silence, Leon started to laugh loudly. "Where the fuck did you get that voice from?"
Katrina started laughing once she realized how dumb she must have sounded. "I have no idea!" she said through her laughter. 'Or do I?'
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After repelling down a rope, shooting more villagers with mutant heads, jumping over a rushing river, and shooting even more villagers, Leon and Katrina were tired, wet, slightly pissed off and in a creepy cave with candles and a dead end. "Leon, look!" Katrina said pointing at the now-familiar symbol that she recognized as the cult's insignia. Leon grabbed the round object from the wall, causing it to move. "Oh, snap!"
Leon rolled his eyes, silencing a small chuckle as he called Hunnigan. "We've obtained an object that resembles the cult's insignia."
"And by 'obtained', I'm assuming you mean 'stolen'?" Hunnigan said raising an eyebrow.
"Basically."
"Wonderful. Head back to the church – you need to make sure that Ashley is safe."
"You've got it, hot-lips."
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"Leon! Katrina!" the Merchant shouted, waving a gloved hand at the pair.
"Oh, hi, Mercer…" Katrina said, breathing a sigh of relief that it wasn't some villagers about to kill them.
"You remembered my name!" the delighted girl said with a grin. Well, the grin was assumed because half of her face was covered in a light blue handkerchief.
"Of course we did…" 'It's a pretty unusual name…'
"Do you two need anything?" Mercer said, never taking the assumed grin off her face.
"Let's see…" Leon mumbled looking at the multitude of guns set behind her. "Katrina, what do you say to learning how to use a Tactical Machine Pistol?"
"A wha?"
"A TMP. It's a fully automatic select-fire 9 x 19 mm Parabellum caliber submachine gun manufactured by the Austrian company, Steyr Mannlicher."
"You lost me at 'a'."
"It's a gun that goes enh-enh-enh-enh-enh-enh-enh-enh!"
"Oh! I've gotcha! Yes, I would like one very much, please!" Katrina said, happy that she now knew that this TM whatever was a machine gun.
"Okay then, we'll spring for one of those, Mercer. And you know what, we'll take the stock for it too."
"Coming right up strangahs!"
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Leon and Katrina returned to the quarry area, where the two exits were promptly closed by a pair of villagers. The huge set of double doors, where the growly noises were coming from earlier, was now open and a group of several villagers was now dragging something (or, rather, trying to) out of the doors. The Ganados lost their grip and fall over. Then the monstrosity, known as El Gigante, came crashing through the doors and proceeded to kill every villager in the area. He tries to do the same to Leon and Katrina, but they luckily dodged the beast's attempt. "Any bright ideas?" Leon said, turning to Katrina for a brief second.
"Just one," she responded, quickly sprinting away from him and towards the large grey mass in front of them. It reached its huge hands down for the young girl, who dodged them by running between the monster's legs. She ran into one of the nearby shacks and grabbed as much TMP ammo as she could carry. "Leon! There are some herbs and things in these shacks! Grab as much as you can!" She shouted to him as she ran out of the little wooden building, which El Gigante quickly turned into a group of large splinters.
Leon listened to Katrina's advice and started collecting the valuable items inside of the shacks. Meanwhile, Katrina had started to get acquainted to her new weapon. She had already emptied one clip of bullets on the monster, and she was starting on her second one. Leon immerged from the last shack as a white wolf let out a resounding howl. "Hey!" Leon exclaimed happily. "It's that dog!"
"What dog?"
"I got it out of a bear trap earlier." The wolf jumped down from the ledge it was on and started barking to get El Gigante's attention. "Keep shooting it!" El Gigante roared in pain as it collapsed onto one knee. Leon ran forward, jumped on the thing's back and started slashing at a bug-like creature embedded in its back. El Gigante let out a miserable groan as it fell over, breathing its last breath.
Katrina let out a sigh. "That was fun."
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"Good doggies…" Katrina said uneasily as a pack of wolves advanced slowly toward the duo. "Bad doggies! Stay!"
One of them rushed at Katrina, murder in its blood-red eyes. With a well-aimed blast from his shotgun, Leon knocked the feral beast away. "Apparently, 'stay' doesn't work."
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After disposing of the wolves, 'our heroes' found themselves inside of the church. "Wow. Swanky," Katrina said with a low whistle.
The pair found a door on the church's second floor. Leon slowly opened it and saw Ashley Graham, the President's daughter, back away in fear. She quickly picked up a fairly small piece of wood and threw it at Leon at a surprising speed. Leon moved out of the way… Causing it to hit Katrina square in the face. "Ah! You mother-fucking bitch! Come here so I can kick your ass!"
Ashley yelped at the enraged girl's threat. "Get away!"
"Calm down, Kat! Everything's going to be just fine, Ashley. My name's Leon, I'm under the President's order to rescue you."
"What? My father?"
"No, moron! The other President!" Katrina said, rubbing her injured face.
Leon gave Katrina the 'Does Leon Kennedy have to smack a bitch' face and said to Ashley, "We have to get you out of here. Come with us." He quickly phoned Hunnigan and said to the bespeckled agent, "It's Leon. I've succeeded in extricating my subject."
"Good work, Leon," Hunnigan said thanking every god she could think of that he wasn't dead yet. "I'll send a chopper over right away."
"What's the extraction point?"
"There's another trail that you can take to get out of the village. The chopper will pick you up beyond there."
"Got it. We're on our way!" Leon said with a smile. "So, when we get back to the states, what do you say to diner?" Hunnigan rolled her eyes and got off the line.
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I know that chapter 2-1 actually ends after Saddler gets introduced, but I decided that that's going to be the start of chapter 2-2. So, yeah… And for all of you who are wondering, I actually can't say the phrase 'Mr. Kennedy' without accenting it. I must say I'm not bad at the accent, but our only male teacher this year happens to have the last name of 'Kennedy' so he probably thinks I'm mental or something. Some of the looks he gave me at the beginning of the year were simply priceless. As a matter of fact, let me turn it into a MasterCard commercial:
Resident Evil 4 – $50. Perfecting your 'Salazar Accent' – 3 months that should have been spent on summer reading. Physics books – $40. Seeing your physics teacher's face every time you call him 'Mr. Kennedy' – Priceless.
It's sort of sad, though. He's leaving after this year ends… I'll never get to use that accent at school again!
Peace Out!