Chapter Ten: Come Alive
Asking Ruby for help had been a fantastic idea. When Chrys saw the small mountain of toys they picked out, she was ecstatic. And seeing her play with Ruby was like a blast from the past. Weiss had such a hard time pulling them apart that Ruby had to stay for dinner or risk one of Chrys' rare tantrums. She seemed to be a little flustered being in such a large apartment for so long, but Ruby was a courteous guest that Weiss wouldn't mind having over more often.
After driving Ruby home and tucking Chrys into bed with a kiss, Weiss was left alone with her thoughts and that annoying voice in her head.
She showered and did her nightly routine on automatic, reliving every second of this afternoon. And by the time she was in bed with all the lights off, Weiss had to wonder: what the fuck was wrong with her? After giving Ruby a sad, self-serving speech about how they could never be more than friends, Weiss went and did everything to contradict that.
What are you doing, Weiss? She asked herself angrily.
Tossing and turning in bed, Weiss let out a long, frustrated groan. When was the last time she had any form of release? Weiss counted the days in her head and groaned even louder; the answer was weeks. Between her exhaustion and Chrys' nightmares, Weiss didn't have much time for herself. But maybe tonight could be different. Chrys was sound asleep, so maybe, just maybe, Weiss could take a little time for herself without any interruption.
Not wasting anymore time in case Chrys came barrelling into her room unannounced, Weiss slipped her hands down under the covers starting from her breasts. Biting her lip, Weiss made her way down to her thighs, sucking in a breath as the anticipation rose.
Take it slow, she reminded herself to temper her overeager hands.
Weiss closed her eyes and relaxed as she pulled her nightgown up and slipped a hand into her underwear. She imagined familiar hands ghosting over her body as soft lips kissed and nipped at her neck. A flash of gentle silver crossed her mind. But one minute became five, and five quickly became ten, and Weiss was no closer to release than she was from the start. Though one thing was made clear to her in that time: she wanted Ruby.
"Damn it," Weiss hissed in frustration.
Weiss ground her thighs together to try and alleviate the pressure, or spark her desire, whichever came first, but it was a futile effort; her fingers weren't enough for the job tonight, and the "secrets" she had hidden inside the locked bottom drawer were too risky to use.
"Damn it," Weiss cursed again, finally giving up completely after another wasted minute.
Sighing, Weiss lied awake in bed and pondered about what killed her drive. She didn't need a fantasy or any visual stimulation to get started. And on the rare occasion she did, Weiss had a decade's worth of memories to pull from. She didn't need anything else. So why did her mind choose the instance when Ruby held her close?
Weiss rested her forearm above her eyes. She knew the reason why.
"I wanted her to kiss me," Weiss whispered hesitantly, biting her lip as a curious, wayward tear slid down her cheek.
Sleep eventually claimed Weiss' consciousness. She dreamt of Ruby and her warm, gentle touch, the smell of roses that clung to skin, and the way she lit Weiss' heart on fire with a smile. And in that dream Ruby didn't rest her head on Weiss' shoulder, she bravely closed the gap and brought their lips together, kissing Weiss so soundly she couldn't hear her guilt ridden brain object.
The night came and went like a blink of the eye and morning played out as usual. Weiss woke before the sun rose, and she carried out her duties like normal despite the frustration she felt. But that feeling paled in comparison to the worry she felt when she noticed something was glaringly off about her little patch spring.
Chrys was unusually quiet all throughout breakfast, and she picked at her food instead of inhaling it like a hungry vacuum. Weiss waited until after she herself was finished eating to ask what was wrong, and the answer surprised her.
"I was just thinking," Chrys murmured, shuffling some of her vegetables around on her plate to make a frowny face.
Subtle, Weiss thought. "What are you thinking about, mon coeur?"
"Do you think Ruby's free on Halloween?"
"Possibly," Weiss answered, leaning closer to pat her daughter's head. "Why?"
"Could you ask her?"
"I don't see why not," Weiss replied. "But she's going to wonder why."
Chrys frowned. "Could… could you ask if she'd like to come trick-or-treating with us?"
"Chrys…"
"It's… our first Halloween without…" Chrys sniffled and furiously rubbed at her eyes. "I really like Ruby; she's funny."
"I like her too," Weiss replied, wiping away the tears Chrys missed. "Wait right here, mon coeur," Weiss said a she got up. "I'm going to get my scroll, and we're going to call Ruby right now."
"Really?!" Chrys exclaimed, her smile returning to her face in force.
Weiss kissed Chrys' head and left to retrieve her scroll. But another problem became apparent once she was alone in her room.
"Just call her," Weiss told herself when she had her scroll. It felt like an immense dead weight in her hand despite it being the latest and lightest model out on the market. "You had no problem calling her the other day," she continued, staring at Ruby's contact page with a deep frown, though the tiny picture of Ruby stuffing a giant slice of pizza into her mouth made that difficult to uphold. Weiss shook her head, she was making excuses. "Just ca—"
Weiss' thumb slipped. Whether it was the will of the gods, or an unfortunately timed muscle spasm, Weiss didn't care. She scrambled to press the scroll to her ear, mentally cursing all the while.
"Hey, Weiss! I was just thinking about you," Ruby said, sounding out of breath. A distant snort and laugh followed by someone else shouting "Hah, gaaaay!" in the background made Ruby snap. "Shut up, Yang! You're being a giant dodo! Sorry, Weiss, that was my big, dumb sister."
Weiss picked her jaw up from the floor and as calmly as she could said, "Bonjour, Ruby. I didn't catch you at a bad time did I?" She then calmly walked back to the dining room and calmly sat next to Chrys. Then she calmly petted the girl's head to give her anxious hands something to do. Calmly.
"No, not at all," Ruby replied, her heavy breathing making Weiss blush. "Like I said, I was just thinking about you."
"Oh?"
"Tell her I said thanks for the food!" Yang shouted. Ruby parroted her gratitude with a bit of sass and snark.
"You can tell her she's more than welcome," Weiss chuckled.
"She says—"
"Ruby, no need to shout," Weiss cut in, already feeling sorry for her ears.
"Right, sorry," Ruby chuckled. "So what's up?"
"Right, so," Weiss cleared her throat, "Chrys was wondering—"
"Mama!" Chrys hissed, her cheeks as red as apples.
"Do you want to ask her?" Weiss asked with an eyebrow raised. Chrys violently shook her head then glared at Weiss with puffed out cheeks. Rolling her eyes, Weiss reached over and squeezed Chrys' face, deflating her moment of rebellion. "Behave."
"I am behaving," Chrys pouted.
"Chrys sounds like she's in good spirits," Ruby said patiently.
"Yes, well, the reason is you actually," Weiss replied.
"Me? What did I do?"
She's just like a puppy, Weiss chuckled. She didn't need to see Ruby to know she was tilting her head curiously with an adorable pout to match. "She really enjoyed having you over last night."
"I had a lot of fun too," Ruby said. "And dinner was amazing. Don't tell Yang, but your mac and cheese is way better than hers."
"I heard that!" Yang shouted.
"Well it's true!" Ruby shouted back.
"Chryssie, are you sure you don't want to ask her yourself?" Weiss asked again during Yang and Ruby's shouting match. While the sisters argued over whose macaroni recipe was better, Weiss urged her daughter along with a hopeful smile. Chrys hesitantly nodded her head and held out her hand. "One second, Ruby, someone wants to ask you something."
"Take all the time you need."
Weiss gave her scroll to Chrys and patted her on the head. She gave her a thumbs up and a nod and watched with pride as Chrys bravely pressed the scroll to her ear.
"H-Hello, Ruby?" Chrys said nervously.
Weiss couldn't hear what Ruby was saying, but from the small smile on Chrys' face, she could tell that Ruby was being kind and patient.
"Um, I-I was wondering if you're free on Halloween?" A pause. "Because if you're free, um, would you… maybe…"
Chrys looked to Weiss for help, but all she got was a raised eyebrow and a gesture to keep her head held high. Not particularly helpful, but it gave Chrys the little boost of confidence she needed.
"You can do it, mon coeur," Weiss whispered encouragingly.
"Would you come trick-or-treating with me and my friends? I'll give you some of the candy, and, and, and… um, Mama said she'd be treating all of us to pizza, so—" Chrys gasped and squealed in excitement. "You'll really come?!" Another pause. "Really?! Yay! I can't wait, and no, none of us have any food allergies. Mhm, okay! I'll hand the scroll back to Mama. Bye, Ruby!"
Chrys returned the scroll to Weiss with a big, triumphant grin. Weiss nodded in approval. "So," she said into the receiver, "care to fill me in?"
"Gladly!" Ruby chuckled. "I had some plans with my friends, but I can reschedule that. And honestly? I'd love to go trick-or-treating, even if it is just chaperoning."
"Don't worry, Chrys will give you a cut of the profit for your time."
"I was also promised pizza."
"Yes, that too," Weiss smiled. "We'll be eating before hitting the streets though."
"Awesome!" Ruby cheered. "And, uh, can I still wear my costume? Me and Yang worked super hard on it and—"
"Say no more, Ruby," Weiss interrupted. "Your costume is more than welcome. I'll be wearing one too. It's one of our yearly…" Weiss sighed and whispered the last bit, "family customs."
"Oh."
"Chrys, finish your breakfast. I'm going to give Ruby more of the boring details in private."
"Tell her to wear a costume!" Chrys commanded.
"Already did," Weiss said as she got up. But before she left for her room, Weiss kissed Chrys on the head and whispered "I'm proud of you, mon coeur."
"Safe to talk again?" Ruby asked after a lengthy lull in the conversation.
Weiss closed her bedroom door behind her and leaned against it. "Yes, I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"For calling you while you were busy with your sister."
"No worries, I'd rather talk to you than work out."
Weiss blushed. "Oh… well, thank you."
"No problem," Ruby chuckled. "Anyway, about those boring details?"
Weiss spent the next few minutes explaining the plan she'd come up with the other parents coming. Ruby was receptive to the whole idea and offered some of her own that Weiss intended to relay to everyone else later this afternoon.
"Wait, so am I going to your place?" Ruby asked.
"I'll be picking you up at your home, or wherever you'd like, then we'll head straight to the restaurant," Weiss explained.
"Then after that we raid the rich!" Ruby exclaimed with an evil cackle. "Take all the candy and hoard it like dragons!"
"Chrys donates most of her candy to charity actually," Weiss said, putting a swift end to Ruby's dream of a candy mountain.
"What?"
"Hm?"
"You can't be serious, Weiss! What kind of nine-year-old gives candy away?!"
Weiss laughed behind a hand a said, "The kind who doesn't like candy."
"What?! Okay, now I know you're pulling my leg. She's a kid! Kids are supposed to gaga over candy and anything sweet enough to rot teeth!"
"Nine times out of ten, Chrys will choose a fruit or vegetable over her favourite candy," Weiss said. "She's been like this since forever."
"I still say it's weird and unnatural."
"Oh, no, I fully agree with you," Weiss chuckled. "Anyway, I should let you get back to your sister."
"Aw, okay."
"I'll talk to you later, Ruby."
"Yeah, see ya… and, um, thanks for inviting me," Ruby said quietly. "If me being there helps Chrys in any way, I'm glad to do it." Weiss didn't know what to say other than "thank you," but that was enough for Ruby. "No problem, Weiss. Text me later, kay?"
"I will."
When she ended the call, Weiss held the scroll to her chest and thumped her head against the door. What was she doing?
The problem didn't get any better as the day progressed. And when Weiss dropped Chrys off for her weekend lessons, she felt lost and aimless. And when Weiss was alone with her thoughts, she liked to drink. A glass or two of red wine made herself more tolerable, but anymore than that and Weiss could see how she became everything she didn't want to be.
"I need to call Neptune," Weiss murmured as she set her wine bottle back onto the rack. She quickly called him and thankfully he was home.
"Hey, baby girl," Neptune sounded like he'd just woken up. "What can I do for you this fine Saturday morning?"
"It's the afternoon," Weiss said, staring at the time on her microwave in disbelief. "Neptune, it's 2p.m."
"Well," he yawned, "unlike you," he yawned again, "I like to spend my weekends relaxing."
"With a cute boy you found at a club?"
Neptune chuckled, "Coffee shop."
"Oh," Weiss blushed, "is he still there? I didn't interrupt anything did I?"
"Only my beauty sleep." Neptune got out of bed and groaned as he stretched. "So what can I do for you, gorgeous?"
"Can…" Weiss bit her lip, eyeing the wine and her empty glass, "can you come up for a bit?"
"Let me put some pants on and I'll be right up," Neptune said. "Can I raid your fridge?"
"Of course."
Neptune didn't waste any time coming upstairs. And when he arrived, he threw his arms around Weiss and kissed her on the cheek before rushing off to her fridge and showing the food inside more love. He pulled out the leftover macaroni and cheese and popped it into the microwave.
"I am so hungry I could eat a sailor!" he said, watching his breakfast/lunch spin.
"I thought the expression was 'hungry enough to eat a whale'?"
"Would you rather eat whale or cock?" Neptune asked without batting an eye.
"Considering I've only choked on one and not the other," Weiss drawled, "I'd rather eat the whale."
"Honey, I've tried whale. Stick to dick." Then after a brief, thoughtful pause, he said, "Or pussy. Whatever floats your boat, honey; I won't judge."
Weiss rolled her eyes and picked up her glass of wine and, after some hesitation, the bottle too. She sat down at the table and patiently waited for Neptune to take the seat in front of her.
She wrung her hands together and bit her lip. "I didn't catch you at a bad time, did I?"
"No, honey, it's never a bad time when it comes to you."
"Neptune…"
The microwave dinged and Neptune excitedly popped the door open. He touched the bowl and winced from the heat, but his hunger easily overpowered his common sense.
"Ow! Hot, hot, hot, hot!" he yelped, nearly dropping the bowl twice on his way to the table.
"Sometimes, I think you're incredibly smart," Weiss said, taking a sip of her wine, "and then you do something like that."
"Fuck off, Ice Queen," Neptune growled as he sat down. "So," he grumbled, digging into his food, "what's the problem this time? Hawthorne didn't find your phone number again, did he?"
"No, no," Weiss said, "this has nothing to do with him…"
"Then is it about Ruby?" When Weiss didn't say anything, Neptune continued, "It is, isn't it?"
"Yes…"
"Well, start talking then," Neptune said, taking a bite of his macaroni to keep himself quite.
"I…" Weiss took another healthy sip; why was her mouth suddenly so dry? "I," Weiss paused again, then hesitantly murmured, "did something stupid."
Neptune blinked, his next bite hanging in the air. "Please tell me you used protection."
"I didn't sleep with her!" Weiss shouted with a furious blush.
"Oh," he frowned.
"Why do you sound so disappointed?"
"Because you're letting that perfectly good vagina of yours go to waste," he said nonchalantly. "You gotta hurry and snatch that girl up before Penny does. Time's ticking, honey, and you're getting older by the second."
Weiss gapped for a moment trying to find something smart or witty to say, but all she could come up with was a lame "fuck you."
"You know, if you took half the time you spent brooding over your obvious attraction to Ruby and channel it towards getting her to like you back," Neptune said, stealing Weiss' wine glass, "you'd have a sexy, young college student keeping your bed warm instead of spending your weekend complaining to me."
"I hate you so much," Weiss growled. "Why is it always about sex with you?"
"Honey," Neptune took a sip and hand the wine back to Weiss, "I lived with you and Coco for three years. I know what went on in that bedroom—and don't you dare blame that on Coco because I'm still surprised she had the energy to keep your horny ass satisfied after work."
"Ughh," Weiss groaned. "Look! This isn't about sex—"
"Then what is it about?"
"I…" Weiss looked away, "did something stupid."
"You've done a lot of stupid things, honey. Narrow it down for me."
Weiss downed the last of her glass and slammed it down on the table in frustration. "I told Ruby I was attracted to her."
"Okay, this sounds promising!" Neptune cheered, clapping his hands together with glee. "So are you two dating now, or are you finally going to take things slow?"
"Neither," Weiss said, pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "I told her we could never be more than friends."
"You… what?!" Neptune shrieked, slamming his hands down on the table so hard it shook. "Coco, your baby-mama is as dumb as a doornail! Please give me the strength to not wring her pretty little neck and snap it in half."
"Neptune, this is serious!"
"I know, which is why I'm going to lovingly say this: Weiss, why the fuck would you do that?!" Neptune shouted. "You clearly like her! Honestly, baby girl, the last time I saw you this excited to see someone was when you finally got your marriage in check."
"Because I shouldn't be feeling this way!"
"And why the hell not?!"
"Because my wife just died!"
"So?!"
"So?!" Weiss screamed, rising up from her chair. "Shouldn't I… shouldn't I… still be mourning? I shouldn't be…" Sinking back into her chair, Weiss cradled her head in her hands and sobbed. "How did my life become this?"
"Weiss…"
"I went from planning a second child to planning my wife's funeral." Weiss slammed her fist down. "This wasn't the plan! She was supposed to leave the force and open her stupid restaurant. We'd be a family, Chrys wouldn't have nightmares, and I wouldn't have to feel like I'm second-guessing every move I make."
"Honey…" Neptune got up and pushed the wine bottle away from Weiss before kneeling down beside her and taking her hand into his. He kissed her knuckles and pressed her palm to his cheek. Smiling, he said, "Life has never gone according to plan for you. This isn't new. And each time you got tossed a curveball, you caught it and threw it back."
"Sports references make absolutely no sense with you," Weiss said.
"You still get the point though," Neptune said, patting Weiss' hand. "Ruby's just another curveball you either gotta catch and throw back, or catch and keep. Because at the rate you're going, you're going to wind up getting hit in the face and knocked out."
"I can't," Weiss said stubbornly. She eyed the wine and gulped. She wanted another glass, or two, or three—maybe she should just drink it straight out of the bottle, throw out decorum and just wallow in misery. It's just Neptune here with her, he's seen her in worse conditions.
"Honey?"
Weiss blinked and tore her gaze away from the wine. "Do you want some coffee?"
"I'd love some."
While Weiss made the coffee, Neptune spent his time making small talk and eating macaroni. Weiss stayed quiet for the most part, simply enjoying his company, but when he started talking about the cute boy h had waiting for him in his apartment, Weiss had to ask, "How do you manage to move on so easily?"
Neptune licked his lips and quirked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Both you and Ciel left partners to follow me to Vale," Weiss said, leaning against the counter, "but neither of you seem particularly bothered by it. Ciel even seems thrilled to be single again."
"Ciel and her boyfriend have been on the rocks long before you gave her that pay raise," Neptune explained. "And I would hardly call what I had a 'relationship.' He was just a guy I called up to—"
"I don't need the details, Nep," Weiss groaned.
"Right, right," Neptune smirked, "you already know a thing or two about being friends with benefits."
"Nicole at least had the decency to buy me dinner," Weiss petulantly grumbled.
"Mmm, that woman was a five course meal all on her own," Neptune moaned. "Give me seconds and thirds, please."
Weiss shook her head and sighed. She'd never understand what went through that man's head. "She wasn't that great."
"Then why are you agonizing over her?" Neptune asked. He quickly took a bite of his now cold macaroni and swallowed. "Look, baby girl, this isn't a hard choice."
"What do you mean?" Weiss asked as she poured herself and Neptune a cup of coffee. She put two sugars and cream in his while she kept her coffee as bitter as Hawthorne.
Neptune graciously accepted his drink and blew the steam away. "What I mean? Baby girl, can I be frank with you?"
"Go ahead, Frank," Weiss snickered.
"Dad jokes don't suit you," Neptune said, pointing a finger at Weiss. "And I fucking swear, if I see you in Coco's stupid cargo shorts, consider our friendship over."
"Fine. I was only trying to lighten the mood," Weiss said.
"And that's the wine talking," Neptune argued. "Drink your coffee, gorgeous, you need to sober up if you want me to spill the tea."
Weiss rolled her eyes and made a show of herself drinking her coffee. She even resorted to slurping the hot beverage to prove her point which, in hindsight, was a bad idea because she burnt the tip of her tongue.
"Don't hate me okay?" Neptune said, reaching over to take Weiss' hand.
"I could never," Weiss smiled, giving his hand a squeeze.
"Honey," he said as sweetly as the word suggested, "you know I love you, and you know I love Coco, but I didn't love you two together." Weiss quirked an eyebrow. "You two fought like two cats in heat. And when you guys got your shit sorted, it was like watching to people play pretend. I know you loved her, and I know she loved you too, but come on, Weiss! I've never once seen you giggle at a thing Coco said—and that bitch was funny as hell!"
"Are you saying I do that with Ruby?" Weiss asked, taking her hand back and crossing her arms. "Because I—" Neptune quirked an eyebrow and frowned. "I don't!" she shouted defensively. "I don't, Neptune."
"You totally do," he said with a pointed glare. "You giggle like a school girl around her. Tee-hee-hee, oh Ruby, you're so funny!"
Weiss gasped in horror, "I do not sound like that!"
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
Neptune rolled his eyes. "Yes, you do. Me and Ciel could hear you two laughing in your office like a couple of old pals instead of strangers tiptoeing around their blatant attraction to each other."
"There is no 'tiptoeing,' " Weiss said with air quotes. "We acknowledged the attraction and decided to stay friends."
"'We'? I think you meant you."
"I…" Weiss bit her lip, "I already said it was me that said it—but she agreed too!"
"Because she likes you so much she'd set aside her feelings to make you happy," Neptune said. "Weiss, honey, what's this conversation about exactly? Do you want me to list you some reasons why you shouldn't give Ruby a chance? Because I can tell you right now, I've got nothing bad to say about that girl."
"I'm not…" Weiss rubbed a hand across her face and pinched the bridge of her nose. She could feel a migraine coming. "I'm asking how you managed to move on without any remorse."
Neptune got up and rounded the table in two swift steps. He wrapped his arms around Weiss' head and pressed her ear against his chest. His heartbeat was slow and steady, but it picked up when Weiss embraced him.
"Weiss, Coco would want you to move on," he said, stroking her hair. "All she wanted was to make you and Chrys happy, and I think she managed to pull that off brilliantly."
"Shouldn't I be grieving still?" Weiss asked. "She just died, Nep. It shouldn't be this easy to move on."
"Grieving and moving on go hand in hand, Weiss," Neptune replied. "You can give Ruby a chance and still mourn."
"But what about Chrys?"
"What about her?" Neptune chuckled. "She's a big girl, she'll grow to accept it. But maybe give her some time to adjust? Has she even met Ruby?"
"She has," Weiss smiled, "she loved her… I haven't seen her smile this much in ages. She actually invited Ruby to come join us on Halloween."
"This is a good sign then," Neptune said, brushing the hair out of Weiss' eyes. He knelt down on one knee and cupped her face, bringing her close enough to touch foreheads. "Give it a go, Weiss. Give yourself the chance to start over. Ruby's a good girl, she'll treat you right—just remember to use protection this time around."
"Neptune!"
"Whaaat?" he grinned. "I know Chrys wants a sibling, but give it at least a year before you give me another pregnancy scare."
"I said I was sorry," Weiss laughed. "And in my defence, I genuinely thought I was."
Neptune shrugged as he claimed the chair closest to Weiss. "All jokes aside, it's all up to you." He took his mug and swirled the liquid around before downing it all in one big swig. Setting the mug down, Neptune turned back to Weiss and smiled. "But please remember that you deserve to be happy, Weiss. Don't force yourself to feel guilty, or stop whatever's happening with Ruby just because you're worried it's too soon."
"I… like her, Neptune," Weiss said after a long shuddering breath. "I-I really, really like her…"
"And she really, really likes you too," he said, smiling.
"How do I take back what I said?" Weiss asked. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself; she missed Ruby's touch. "I think… she was trying to kiss me the other day."
"What?"
"Yesterday," Weiss clarified, "I went to her place to ask for a favour—not a sexual one, you nitwit—and we got to talking. Her sister, the chef who makes your salmon?"
"Yeah?"
"She lost her arm in a terrible accident…"
"Is she off your list then?"
"No, if anything this puts her on the top," Weiss said, leaning back into her chair. "I still need to meet her in person, but she's definitely the one I'm most excited to meet."
"I can get Ciel to schedule something if you'd like?" Neptune offered. "She's getting pretty close to Penny."
"Good for her, but no," Weiss said. "I'd like to meet Yang on my own terms… preferably with Ruby by my side."
"Oooh gurl," Neptune cheered, "you have got it baaad!"
"I do," Weiss smiled, "and I'm going to do something about it soon."
"Great! But go back a bit, you said she was trying to kiss you?"
"That's just it," Weiss said, exasperated, "she pulled me onto her lap—"
"Did you feel it?"
"Yes, but I politely ignored it, which you should as well," Weiss pointed out. "But she held me close; I could feel her breath on my lips…"
"Aaaand?" Neptune leaned in, his eyes wide with eager anticipation.
"We looked into each others eyes, and I swear she was going to do it, but she turned away in the last second and rested her head on my shoulder," Weiss said. "I was… so disappointed."
Neptune's face hit the table. "Ugh, that noble brat! She had you in her clutches!" Neptune suddenly looked up, his nose red from the impact, "Wait, why didn't you go for it?"
"Because I wanted to see what she'd do," Weiss said. "I've only been in one relationship, Neptune, and it wasn't even a relationship to begin with."
"It wasn't Coco's fault you didn't know you guys were dating."
"She had a much larger part in that than you give her credit for," Weiss stated angrily. "She never said we were dating until she broke up with me the day she moved away. I don't want to go through that sort of ambiguity again."
"But Ruby already said she liked you."
"And so did Nicole." Weiss tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but her mouth was so dry. She took a sip of her coffee and shuddered; cold and bitter. "I can't believe I'm actually considering this…"
"Dating? Yeah, me too," Neptune chuckled. "But I'm happy for you, baby girl. Really, I am."
"Speaking of dating," Weiss said, "don't you have a cute boy waiting for you in your apartment?"
Neptune gasped and shot out of his chair. "Shit, I totally forgot about him! I'm sorry, baby girl, I should probably cut this short before he gets bored and tries to steal my stereo."
"That's… and oddly specific item," Weiss said.
"Yeah, well, it's a nice stereo, okay?"
Weiss walked Neptune to the door and opened it for him. They hugged and kissed each other on the cheek, promising to contact one another at a later time. Neptune waved as he jogged down the hall to the elevator. And when he was gone, Weiss went back inside, took her cold coffee, and sat on the couch.
She stared at her wife's picture on the mantle and eyed the different types of chocolate Chrys left in front of it. The pile had gotten bigger since she last checked, and it would no doubt grow even larger after Halloween.
"I hope you don't expect me to eat this on your behalf," Weiss said to the smirking photograph.
Weiss was vaguely aware of the slow passage of time as she sipped her coffee. The apartment was quiet, save for the fridge's subtle murmuring and her neighbours muffled shouting downstairs. And if she strained her ears, Weiss could hear the city below.
"It's a lazy weekend," she whispered, closing her eyes as she settled into the couch and relaxed. Her heartbeat slowed and the world around her disappeared, transporting Weiss back to her Atlas home where she shared the couch with her wife. She didn't have to open her eyes to know her lover was reading quietly beside her. "Is the book good?"
"It's alright," Coco replied, though her words were garbled by the chocolate bar she had hanging from her lips. "There's a lot of unnecessary drama though, like, just hurry up and kiss you morons!"
"How long is it?"
"Couple hundred pages."
"Do you recommend it?"
"Nature's Wrath? No, it's awful… but two of the characters reminds me us."
"Always at each other's throats?"
"No," Coco said. "They're friends, but there's history there that blurs the lines. They're actually so close people suspect a secret affair."
"Nicole, we have a house and a child together—I filed our taxes last week."
"Yeah, and?"
Weiss chuckled to herself and reached out to touch her, but when she felt nothing but air where her wife's head should have, the spell was broken and Weiss was brought back to her cold, harsh reality.
"Nicole…"
She looked at her empty hand and slowly curled her fingers, begging for the memory to stay for just a bit longer. But just like the passage of wasted time, the memory slipped through Weiss' fingers, leaving her with nothing but regret and a million "should haves."
Weiss whimpered, feeling the first of many tears fall from her eyes. "I miss you," she cried, her heart breaking in two, "but I need to let you go."
The tears continued to fall without an end in sight. But even though her chest felt like it had been crushed under the weight of the world, Weiss had never felt lighter. The guilt couldn't shackle her down anymore. She was free.
"I need to let you go," she repeated firmly. "I'm done sleepwalking through life."
Weiss wiped her away her tears and crossed the living room with a single goal in mind. She snatched a mini chocolate bar from the mantle, ironically one of her wife's absolute favourites, and tore the wrapper without any of her usual care.
"À ta santé, Coco," she said before popping the horrendously sweet treat into her mouth.
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