Chapter Thirty: A Life Worth Fighting For
Tap, tap, tap.
Weiss furrowed her brows together trying desperately to ignore the waking world, but that incessant tap, tap, tapping and the small moist hand tugging at her hair made it nigh impossible. School had worn her out. Between the shameless staring and the mountains of schoolwork her elite Atlesian academy called "light," Weiss was at her wit's end. She just wanted a nap. Why wasn't she allowed to nap?
"No, no, Chryssie, let your mama sleep," whispered a low husky voice. A grumpy gurgle followed by more annoying tap, tap, tapping followed. "Chryssie," Coco tried again with a stern tone, "I know you want to play with her, but just let her sleep a little bit longer."
Chrys refused, however, and increased the force of her jabs.
"Chryssie…"
"It's fine, I'm up," Weiss sighed tiredly. She turned to lie on her back and found Chrys leaning above her with a drool coated hand in her mouth while the other pawed at Weiss' hair. "Hello, mon coeur," Weiss whispered as she pulled the hand out of Chrys' mouth and kissed her adorable little nose.
"Sorry, Blue, she wouldn't stop crying until I brought her to you," Coco apologized.
"Once again, it's fine," Weiss said, drying Chrys' hands on their blanket. "It was my fault for trying to take a nap on your birthdays anyway."
Chrys let out an ecstatic squeal and threw her tiny body at Weiss' face, hugging her tight. Weiss chuckled and pulled Chrys onto her chest.
"You're being extra clingy this afternoon," Weiss said as she held Chrys back and kissed her cheek.
Chrys playfully swatted Weiss with her hands and feet trying to get away from her ticklish kisses, but Weiss had a firm hold on her, and the only way she'd be able to escape was if Coco helped her. But Chrys' knight in shining armour betrayed her and added her own kisses to the assault.
"Happy birthday, mon coeur. I can't believe you're already one," Weiss laughed as Chrys slapped her nose, nearly poking her eye. Weiss crinkled her nose and held Chrys back a bit further, just far enough so her little hands couldn't reach. Unfortunately, that left Weiss' chest in the prime position to be kicked and Chrys did not disappoint.
"Ooof!" Coco winced, cradling her own chest in sympathy. "I felt that."
"Shut up, Nicole," Weiss hissed in pain.
Coco laughed the warning off as she took Chrys and held her up high before dropped her down and bringing her back up again. Chrys squealed with delight, waving her arms and legs like she was trying to swim through the air.
"Does Chryssie want to be a little birdy?" Coco asked in a singsong voice. "Who's a little birdy?" Chrys squealed in response. "That's right! You're a little birdy!"
"You're lucky she hasn't eaten yet," Weiss said, reaching up to ruffle Chrys' short light brown hair. It was still partially blonde, but it was getting darker by the day, and would soon enough match Coco's deep brown.
"Yeah, she's probably getting hungry though," Coco laughed. "Hey, Blue?"
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
"For what?" Weiss asked with a raised eyebrow.
"For having her…" Tears glistened in Coco's eyes, and her confident voice trembled with uncertainty, but the smile she wore as she looked up at Chrys spoke volumes of the love she felt. "I mean it. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love her. Just thinking what could've happened if I hadn't picked up your call that night…"
"I would have kept her regardless," Weiss said, bringing Chrys down to lie between her and Coco. "I think my father would have warmed to the idea eventually. But he was a fool for not using the pregnancy as a way to fix his image."
"Do you think people would actually fall for that?" Coco asked with concern.
Weiss thought about Coco's question seriously and said, "If he had shown me kindness… I would have been wrapped around his finger. I would have been his forever."
"Weiss…"
"But!" Weiss said, shifting her dour tone. "I much prefer this reality over that one. Who knows what kind of person I'd be if I let him get into my head like that."
"I think you'd still be the same defiant girl I know and love," Coco said as she kissed Weiss' temple and threw an arm around her shoulders."You probably would've done everything in your power to keep Chrys safe from him. Just you and her against the world. And I'd like to think we'd find each other again."
"I guess…"
"But I do gotta agree with you, I much prefer this reality too," Coco said in a thoughtful tone. "You've given me the single best birthday present ever, Blue. I can't ever thank you enough."
"This is enough." Weiss turned on her side to drape an arm over her family, but her hand met with nothing but cold bedding. "Huh?"
Weiss blinked in confusion and sat up. The room was different. It was larger with less clutter and a different coat of paint. Blinking, Weiss slowly pieced the puzzle together and realized she was no longer in the tiny two-bedroom apartment she shared with Coco and Chrys. Instead, Weiss was in the penthouse master bedroom. Alone.
"It was a dream," Weiss whispered, still trying to gain her bearings. She scanned the room again and saw no trace of her lover, leading Weiss to wonder where the pesky girl went. Ruby's side of the bed was made, though Weiss would have to redo it. "It was just a dream…"
Tears began to well up in Weiss' eyes, blurring her vision and warping her surroundings. She wanted to go back into that dream and tell the woman she married how much she loved her and how badly she wished she was still here. But wishing she could go back in time reopened a deep wound that was finally starting to heal. Every horrible mistake Weiss had made bombarded her like a torrential rain, each droplet biting into her skin like a bullet. The fights that turned into screaming matches, the things thrown and broken in anger, and all the times she'd wished they never met, Weiss wished she could take them all back.
Weiss pulled her legs up to her chest and silently wept. Her heart felt like it was being crushed, slowly and surely like someone holding single-handedly onto a crumbling edge for dear life. Weiss could feel their fingers digging in, each digit a sweet but painful memory.
What she wouldn't give to feel Coco's lips on her skin again or feel the warmth and safety her embrace gave. Weiss would give all her worldly possessions for just one second more with Coco.
"Chryssie, oh my god, where's the exhaust fan?!" Ruby yelled from the kitchen, her voice sounding scared and panicked.
"RUBY, HURRY! IT'S STARTING TO SMOKE!" Chrys screamed.
Weiss looked up and stared at her bedroom door. Beyond it was a new life with a new love.
Slowly, Weiss dried her tears and got out of bed. She stood on shaky legs, but as she inched closer to the door—to her new life—her strength returned. Her left shoulder ached something fierce, reminding Weiss of all the pain she suffered through to get here.
She wasn't perfect and neither was Coco. Those fights and arguments were never one-sided. And the hate was never met with pure unyielding love. They butted heads like a couple of animals too proud and stubborn to give up and did what they could to hurt each other as deeply as possible, but they loved each other more and more each day.
Weiss' hand touched the doorknob. Just turn it, she thought. Turn it and move forward. But Weiss hesitated and looked back at the bed longingly.
"I'M GETTING MAMA!" Chrys screamed.
"No! I can fix this. I can—oh my god!"
Weiss practically ripped the door open and marched down the hall.
"What the hell is going on here?!" she shouted above the chaos. Ruby and Chrys froze on the spot and quickly pointed to each other, neither willing to take the blame. "Ruby, what is going on?"
"Um…" Ruby gulped and showed her the burnt batter sticking to Weiss' non-stick frying pan. "We were, uh, trying to make pancakes."
"Briar, Heizell," Weiss said, turning to her better-behaved guests, "tell me what happened."
"Pancakes," Briar giggled. "Ruby said she had the best recipe ever."
Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Isn't Yang in the other suite?"
"Yeaaah, no?" Ruby winced. "I called her earlier, but, uh, I heard things I wish I didn't."
"What sort of things?" Weiss narrowed her eyes.
"Let's just say our sister's got reacquainted," Ruby shuddered. "They're also out having brunch with Amélia, Neptune, and Ciel."
"Wait, brunch?" Weiss blinked.
"Yeah, it's like 10 a.m., baby," Ruby chuckled. "And before you get angry at me for not waking you… it was Chrys' idea."
"What?! Hey!" Chrys shrieked. "We both agreed to let Mama sleep in!"
"See? Her idea. All her idea." Ruby nodded and crossed her arms. "I accept no blame for letting you sleep in."
"Mama, Ruby's being mean!"
Another heavy sigh escaped Weiss' lips. This was the life she chose.
"Since it's this late already, why don't we all get changed and go to a restaurant for brunch?" Weiss suggested, accepting defeat. "Does anyone have any suggestions?"
Chrys looked up at Ruby and said, "Burgers?"
"Burgers." Ruby looked over to Briar and Heizell. "Burgers?"
Both girls looked at each other and repeated the same question before parroting back an affirmative "Burgers!"
"What did I just walk into?" Weiss murmured to herself in confusion.
"The council has decided upon burgers, Your Majesty," Ruby said, triumphantly holding the burnt pan up like a sword.
"Ugh, Ruby, you are so weird," Weiss said.
"But am cute and fluffy!" Ruby grinned, setting her "sword" down to go over and hug Weiss. "Sorry for the mess, baby."
"It's fine," Weiss sighed, melting into the much needed embrace. "Just make sure you soak that pan and clean the rest of this mess up later."
"Yeah, yeah, no problem, but we get burgers first!" Ruby picked Weiss up without notice and shouted over her shoulder, "Quick! Get changed before she changes her mind!"
"Ruby, put me down!" Weiss screamed, throwing her arms around Ruby's neck. "I swear if you drop me, we're breaking up!"
Ruby rubbed her nose against Weiss' and giggled. "I've got you, baby."
"Uh huh, yeah, put me down!"
"Never!" Ruby shouted as she carried Weiss back into the bedroom.
It took a little finagling, but Ruby managed to close and lock the bedroom door without letting Weiss go. And once the door was locked, Ruby carried Weiss over to the bed and gently laid her down.
"Sorry about the screaming and the mess," Ruby said as she leaned down and kissed Weiss' forehead.
"It's fine," Weiss said, bringing her arms back around Ruby's neck. "Thank you for letting me sleep in."
"No problem," Ruby said. "Did you have a good dream?"
Weiss looked deep into Ruby's soft silver eyes and thought about the dream she had. "Yes," she answered truthfully. "Yes, I did."
"That's great to hear." Ruby leaned down again and stole a kiss which led to her stealing a few more. "I love you," Ruby whispered with a smile. "I soooooo cannot wait for this weekend to end."
"Why?" Weiss giggled.
"Well," Ruby said in a husky tone, "I've got some unfamily friendly ideas running through my head that you might be interested in, Mrs. Adel."
"What are you, my pool girl?" Weiss snorted.
"If you had a pool to clean, I'd do it," Ruby winked.
"The other suite has a pool."
"What?"
"Yeah, and a second floor."
"What?!"
Weiss blinked. "Have you never been in the other suite?"
"No! Why am I only hearing about this now?!" Ruby screamed. "So you're telling me that Yang's shacking it up with Winter in the cooler apartment?!"
"What's wrong about this one?" Weiss pouted. "It's cozy."
"Weiss, this apartment is bigger than Nora's house," Ruby grumbled. "I wouldn't call it tiny."
"I said 'cozy,' not 'tiny.' "
"Same thing!" Ruby pouted. She turned her back to Weiss and crossed her arms. "It's not fair! Yang gets to do all the fun stuff. I wanna do fun stuff!"
"My sister?"
"Minus that."
Weiss wrapped her arms around Ruby's shoulders and peppered her face with kisses. "Don't pout. I'll hire a professional cleaner and a priest to cleanse that place and then we can have some fun there ourselves. There's a jacuzzi."
"Jacuzzi?"
"Jacuzzi. And if you really want to get steamy with me, it also has a sauna," Weiss winked.
"If its got all this neat stuff in it, why do you never use that other suite?" Ruby asked, letting her shoulders relax.
"That's just for guests and keeping Chrys' hobbies from cluttering the apartment," Weiss said. "It's glorified storage. And this place… this place feels like home. Nicole and I picked the layout ourselves."
"All the stuff in it?"
"Mhm."
"And the bed?"
"Well, yes," Weiss paused. "But if you're asking whether she and I have slept on it, then you'll be relieved to know the answer is no."
"Oh, uh…" Ruby scratched her cheek. "Sorry, that must've been hella obvious."
"It's no worries," Weiss said, hugging Ruby even tighter to reassure her. "Even if she and I did, I would've replaced it long before you started sleeping over. Honestly, Ruby, even I'm not cruel enough to make you sleep in a bed I shared with my wife."
"Sorry…"
"Nothing to be sorry for, ma chérie."
"I still feel bad about it though," Ruby said with her brows furrowed together. "I need to work on this whole jealousy thing."
"Do what you must to feel comfortable, just remember that I love you both all the same," Weiss casually said as she got off the bed and strode to her closet. She rummaged through her half of the closet trying to find something casual for brunch, but her outfits were all too stuffy for a meal with her family and Chrys' friends. "I'm stealing your sweater," Weiss announced with Ruby's oversized red sweater in hand.
"Mm," Ruby said, still deep in thought.
"Darling, are you going out in what you slept in?" Weiss asked.
"No, I'll change…" Ruby muttered.
"Ruby…"
"Mama!" Chrys called from the other side of the door.
"Yes, mon coeur?"
"We're ready!"
"Just give us a couple more minutes!" Weiss shouted back.
"Okay!"
"Ruby, hurry up," Weiss said as she lifted her nightgown off her head and slipped on a bra. "Ugh, I think I'll have to go without makeup."
"You're beautiful with or without it," Ruby said, placing her hands on Weiss' shoulders. "I love you," she said, kissing Weiss' neck. "I promise to be better."
"Ruby, there's really nothing to apologize for," Weiss insisted. "What you're feeling, that jealousy you're so upset about, it's fine. I understand it. If our positions were switched, I'd be jealous of whoever had you first too."
"But you had a life with her," Ruby said, draping her arms around Weiss. "You guys were a family. If she was here, you'd still be with her."
"I… um…" Weiss shifted uncomfortably on her feet and turned to face Ruby. "I don't know what would happen to us if Nicole was still here… I don't want to think about that reality. I miss her, and I loved my life with her, but I love my life with you too."
"Say," Ruby said, resting her forehead against Weiss', "what would you do if I told you I was keeping a secret from you?"
"Depends on what it would be," Weiss answered.
"What if it was something I should have told you a long time ago but didn't?"
"Then it's not really much of a secret worth telling, is it?" Weiss chuckled before tilting her head and stealing a kiss. "And whatever it is, whether it's big or small, it's fine to tell me whenever you're ready. We all have our secrets, Ruby. I have many you're still unaware of. But given time, I'm sure you'll come to learn them, just as I'm sure I'll come to learn yours."
"Weiss…" Ruby murmured, her pretty silver eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
Sighing, Weiss cupped Ruby's cheeks and kissed her. "I'll be here when you're ready to speak. But for now, we need to hurry and get ready before those three little girls start throwing a riot in the living room."
"Right," Ruby nodded solemnly. "Chrys'll probably lead that protest, huh?"
"If she's anything like Nicole, then yes," Weiss chuckled.
"Hey, Weiss?"
"Yes, darling?"
"Do you think… no. No, nevermind. It's nothing." Ruby pulled away and yanked her shirt off to slip on a sports bra and the first shirt she got her hands on.
Weiss watched her girlfriend get dressed and followed suit, but the unspoken question kept bothering her until she had to ask.
Ruby shyly glanced at Weiss, looking small and afraid. "It's nothing, really."
"Ruby, if it was really nothing, you wouldn't be cowering in front of me like a church mouse," Weiss said, cocking her hip to the right. "Tell me."
"No, it's dumb."
"You're being dumb," Weiss shot back. "Just tell me already!"
"Ugh, fine!" Ruby shouted in frustration. "I was just…"
"Just what?"
"Y'know… wondering…"
"Still not trying anal, Ruby," Weiss said, matter-of-factly.
"What?! No!" Ruby screamed with a fresh hot blushed burning her cheeks. "Why would you—ugh, you know what? You're a butt, Weiss."
"Hurry up and tell me already!" Weiss huffed in annoyance.
"I don't wanna try," Ruby shifted her eyes to the door and whispered, "anal."
Weiss raised an eyebrow. "That look you're giving me isn't helping. If you wanna try, fine. I'm game. But you're the one taking it."
"Really? Wait, no!" Ruby shook her head and pulled at her hair, struggling to find the right words.
"It's not like I'm unfamiliar with it…" Weiss murmured in thought. "Just gotta work up to it slowly. You don't just stick it in and go—"
"Weiss!" Ruby screamed, her face beet red. "That's not what I was trying to ask you!"
"Then what is it, Ruby?"
"I…" Ruby shyly took Weiss' left hand and played with her wedding ring. "I was wondering if… if you ever thought about having more kids. But, um, with… me?"
"Ruby…"
"I know, I know, too soon to be thinking about that kind of stuff—we haven't even been together for a year! Ugh, forget what I said," Ruby rambled in a panic.
"Yes," Weiss said, touching Ruby's cheek to bring her focus back. "I have thought about it."
"Wha?" Ruby blinked, her mouth hanging agape.
"How could I not? We… we have a lot of sex, Ruby," Weiss blushed. "And I know the difficulties people with your condition have about children first hand. Winter's a terrible example. Nicole was too. But the moment she learned about Chrys, her whole attitude changed. She went from thinking it was a near impossibility and shrugging it off to begging me to keep her. And just like with Nicole, if it happens to us… we'll take things one step at a time."
"Weiss…" Ruby said with a mild look of surprise on her face.
"But that doesn't mean we start taking risks," Weiss interjected. "Truthfully, if I do get pregnant again, I'd like it to be planned. I don't want another 'happy little accident,' if you know what I mean."
Ruby snorted out a laugh and hugged Weiss tight. "I love you."
"Okay, okay, I get it, enough," Weiss chuckled, pushing Ruby and her needy lips away. "We have three hungry little girls waiting for us to feed them."
"Right. Yeah!" Ruby smiled.
"Any more dire questions that need to be asked?" Weiss asked.
"No, not at the moment."
"Alright then." Weiss held her left hand out to Ruby. "One step at a time, mon amour. We have a bright future ahead of us."
Ruby firmly grasped Weiss' hand and nodded. The cloud of uncertainty hanging above Ruby's head was gone and she returned to being the wonderful, bubbly girl Weiss loved.