Padawan Sydney Bristow: Thank you! I really appreciate your comments!
Prudence-Chan: I always wanted to write a viggie centering around the huge age gap between Han and Leia, and I thought I'd sneak that in. And Han will always be young at heart . . . just as big a scoundrel as he is now. Ha-ha!
Anna: Why, thank you! And thanks for the second review up top!
LimeLight: Well, hungover!Leia had to happen sometime in a story like this. When the premise is "Leia goes to college", drinking is probably a consideration. Lol. Thanks, LL.
SUP3R G1R: Oh, well, nineteen year olds are awesome, you know (wink, wink). As much as I want to move on (Just a few weeks!), nineteen was a good year for me. Thanks!
Trout: So - here. Am. Lit. paper's done and I'm avoiding studying for the final. What do I do? I post fanfic. My priorities amaze even me sometimes. Thanks for the help, regardless if you think it helped.
Summers2004: Thanks! I'm glad you think it's always worth the wait . . . hey, you love waiting and excellent stories combined together? Read and reread NQLL, like I do . . . sorry, LL, I'm publicizing your story. Oh, well. Thanks Summers2004 - I can always count on you to write nice things on your reviews!
SailorLeia: Welcome! Good to see you here! Grab a chair, take a seat . . . Thanks!
Mirax Myra Terrik: Oh, well, my roommate and I are friends with the RA, so we can't really hide all that well. It's awesome that you got away with it though!
Clare: Whadd'ya know? I write chapters to get out of studying for finals! Small world . . . welcome!
Youte: Okay, here you go!
MissE: I'm also not a real joiner. Good to see you distance yourself as well! Thanks for reading!
HanSolosGal: Yikes! Tanning my hide! I swear I'm going to strangle Sticks for sharing her evilness with you! Well, thanks for being everywhere - it's nice to see a familiar face!
So . . . yeah, I've been nonexistent for the past month, and I really do apologize. I know y'all are great readers and are incredibly patient, and I greatly appreciate it. Andnow I've got some time to write. Hallelujah.
Two things: One, keep in mind that this story is primarily a"Leia story" - those of you waiting for the extendedromance/sex scene won't get it . . . sorry, lol. It's also not an AU story, meaning Han and Leia don't become an officialthing until ESB.
Two: Congrats to Trout -good luck thisweek andcongrats onbig ceremony next weekend! (I don't know how much you want me to give away about you personally, dear. So . . . congratulations!)
"We are utterly surrounded, permeated, really, by the big issues of today." Professor Nusorreh-Duil enunciated. "You cannot pretend to let it slide off your back, ladies and gentlemen. The forces that be, militarily, politically, and socially, are demanding your attention. Are you giving it to them?"
Leia felt a hand on her right shoulder as the owner of the hand whispered, "Psst. Hey, you."
Leia stared ahead as she answered. "Yeah?"
"Hey, hey, yeh were at the EEE party las' weeken', weren't'cha?" Leia saw a tangled mass of blonde curls flip off of the speaker's shoulder to her right as she whispered. "Yeh're the one wit' the boyfrien'."
Leia rolled her eyes. "I have a boyfriend, yes."
The bouncing curls of death hurled closer to Leia. "No, no, yeh're the one wit' the boyfrien'. The one wit' the green eyes an' brown hair? The boyfrien'?"
Leia resolutely took notes and ignored the blonde, hoping that she'd take her comments about Han and try to focus on the matter at hand, when she was saved.
"Ms. Sinuj, could you please refrain from discussing inane relationships in my class? Even Ms. Stribur seems to be a bit nauseous from your haranguing."
How does he know our names in the second week of classes?
Nusorreh-Duil's eyes seemed to twinkle as mischievously as the old man could manage. "You seem shocked to be called by name, Ms. Stribur. I assure you, no pretense should be made about my memory. Ms. Sinuj has enjoyed my class three different semesters thus far. Isn't that so, Ms. Sinuj?"
Leia turned towards the blonde and watched the curls bounce up and down vigorously.
"And your name is burned onto my memory as the only student to teach more in the first class period than the professor." The twinkling resumed. "You're forever ingrained as the good student of my Contemporary Concerns class, Ms. Stribur. Enjoy."
There goes discretion. As Leia slouched into her seat, Nussoreh-Duil continued his lecture. "To begin the semester, I believe it would be prudent to attack the largest issues immediately. I'll spare you the simmering anticipation you must all be feeling: we'll be discussing the Imperial Civil War head-on."
Leia felt sick.
"I'd like to conduct a debate here on the last day before the weekend. Prepare both sides. You'll be asked to submit a paper on your opinion; it is due when the debate is held. Any questions?"
Like how I'm going do this without blowing everything? Leia closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe deeply. I can handle this. It's not a big deal. It's a college debate, that's all –
"So, is he jus' as cute wit'ou' the awesome hat on?"
But first, I have to stab the curly-headed monster behind me.
"Oh, hey, Rims, are you okay skipping a couple of classes so we can get a head start on my parent's house this weekend?"
Leia shook her head, turning toward Ivoen and away from her desk. "I would if I could. I have this debate thing I have to do that day."
"Debate thing?"
"We debate either the Rebellion or the Empire. He'll tell us on that day which one."
"So you research both sides?" Leia nodded. "Too bad it's not next week. You could interview my dad. He's always got an opinion about everything."
"And on that particular issue?" How hard am I going to have to work for my voice on the GansCorp board?
"Who knows? I've been tuning him and my mother out for ten years now." Ivoen chuckled. "Point is, he'd probably give you some information on both sides. He's pretty thorough."
"Great. I'll be sure to get the important information after my debate. You're a big help, Ivoen. Thanks."
"Oh, hey, IE sarcasm. That hurts, Rims. Right here."
Leia rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Ivoen, or I'll send some more over to kill you."
"Oh, hey, IE death threats. Those hurt, Rims . . . "
Leia turned around in her chair and logged onto the holonet, ignoring her roommate as she continued blabbing on to herself. How do I research an organization against whom I'm fighting? Leia paused. How do I research an organization with whom I'm involved?
It wasn't as if she had to research what to know.
It was what she had to not know.
Leia had had allegiance to the Rebel Alliance for nearly two and a half years: full, daily contact with the political and social uprising. Leia slept where the rebels slept, ate what the rebels ate, did what the rebels did. She could give statistics no one else knew, other than perhaps the blonde lieutenant in Supply and the rest of the High Council. Tactics, hidden Intel cells, specific biographies of the more prominent figures in the ranks: Leia could recite them, one by one, to anyone who cared to listen.
And, to be entirely honest, there was no shortage of people who would be willing to listen to such a recitation. Which was why Leia needed to know what she could say about the Alliance in the debate. What was generally known? Where did people think they were? To what Intel did average, everyday citizens have access? Did the outsider truly understand why the Alliance was fighting?
If they don't, I'll lose myself within the first ten minutes of the debate.
Leia exhaled, imagining her stress and nervousness exiting her body. Okay. Calm. Begin with the basics. She wrote in her datapad, beginning with the very foundation of knowledge at her behest.
The Galactic Empire was first recognized as the ultimate power in the galaxy in the year . . .
"Yneffot Snignet, Rebellion. Tiregrem Sollew, Rebellion."
Leia let her mind escape the classroom, past the permacrete doors and the mass of students behind her, into memories. Memories of home, of the base at Yavin Four, at the vague, misty recollection of Han's kiss . . .
"Rimmas Stribur, Empire."
Dammit all to hell.
The class sat together, pseudo-supporters of the Rebellion mingling and neighboring with semi-Imperials, all discreetly denying the abject horror of the public speaking they faced. Leia nodded to her colleagues, secretly seething, attempting to find a safe way to put in her two credits and exit the debate as quickly as she could. Keep your big mouth shut and we'll all be better for it.
"Please get into your two groups. Rebel sympathizers, please meet on the right, Imperials on the left. Choose your spokesperson to do opening comments and highlight what you most wish them to discuss."
Leia stood up and crossed to the left side of the room, assessing her fellow debate-mates as she crossed. The massive group congregating together seemed, for the large part, to be uninterested in the goings-on of the class. Formulating themselves into a general blob, they sat in plastisteel chairs and on the floor, some chatting comfortably with their friends, others obviously nursing hangovers, heads in hands and spiteful degradations on lips.
Stay out of leadership role. You'll dig your own grave here, Organa.
The other "Imperials" continued chatting or moaning quietly to themselves.
Don't do it.
She glanced over her shoulder toward the "Rebels". The other half of the class was congregated together, heads in towards each other, listening to a core group of students vehemently raise their voices, look sheepish, and lower their exclamations again before Leia's side could hear them. They're discussing how to attack us. They're going to beat us.
No.
There was so much wrong with this situation.
No.
Fine. "Hey!"
Heads turned her way.
"Hey. Uh, what are we going to say?"
One Bothan shook his head. "We? No. You? Yes. You're the favorite around here, Stribur. You get us our high marks."
"I refuse to be merely your ladder for higher grades!"
A human male on her right leered at her. "I don't know, Sweetheart. I could see you as my ladder any day."
She gave him the annoyed look usually reserved for Solo and turned away toward the center of the unmotivated blob, focusing on a Kuati. "Didn't you prepare anything?"
"Why?"
"To do well here today."
"Why?"
"To get a better grade in the class?"
"Why?"
She sighed in frustration. "Is anyone going to do this with me?"
Silence. She was pretty sure there were two people kissing in the back corner of the group, but, surprisingly, the silence pervaded.
"No one? Anyone? Come on!"
Silence. A slight tinker of liquid in a container as one dark-eyed, mussed-up haired guy hauled back a mouthful of whiskey.
You've got to be kidding me.
"Fine. I'll do this myself."
She confidently turned away from the group and ran through her datapad full of notes.
How the hell am I going to do this by myself?
"Let us move on to the discussion of plans for the future. Rimmas, would you care to begin?"
Would I care to hop over to the other podium? "Absolutely. The Empire is the rightful progression of political ideology in the galaxy. Once the Rebellion is abolished – " it's not going to happen " – the galaxy will again be brought peace and economic prosperity. The Empire's programs have sufficiently dealt with economic recession aids and the cost of war material. The war will not be paid out of citizen's pockets." No, they're called war reparations, and only the surviving moffs will pay. "Peace will reign again."
"The Empire is not a peaceful organization! The war will be suffered by the poor and needy, the orphans and the widows!"
"Whom you are making orphans and widows."
Adrian reluctantly closed her mouth and nodded assent to Leia. Sometimes I hate being good at this. I hate myself for being able to do this so well.
And for what? A grade?
The small part of her brain that actually seemed to embrace self-preservation chimed in. No, this isn't about a grade. This is about my life. She shuddered slightly. Should Vader hear about me . . .
No.
Better to excel at this small debate. We're almost done, aren't we?
"Your deliberate massacres have been focused largely on the non-human and economic poor of Rim worlds! Worlds that have no protection! They have no strong allies within the senate or guilds to help them! They are, in essence, the exact perfect victims of your horrid genocide!"
Yes, they are. "The Empire is based upon the strongly-held belief that in order for peace to reign, opposition must be eliminated. Look at history. When has democracy ever accomplished the freedom it espouses?" I feel sick. "When has a republic ever guaranteed the rights of those it serves?" Leia licked her lips and continued. "A powerful leader always provides prosperity on larger grounds. Bureaucracy is not to be tolerated and is a hindrance to any group of peoples." Don't listen to me! Don't listen to me! "Governments require quick decisions, not volatile machinations and politics that have little hope of ever reaching consensus!"
"But the massacres - !"
"The massacres occurred for reasons in which the Emperor found the necessary precautions to ensure the survival of the galaxy." Or the survival of his power. Either one. "The same Emperor that overthrew the tyranny that the Trade Federation and the Jedi –" Sorry, Luke "– held over us for so long." The Emperor that I'd also shoot on sight if I was given the opportunity. But I digress. "Emperor Palpatine has ensured the continued freedoms of the Empire."
"And Alderaan? What about it's continued freedom?"
Leia's mouth opened. And closed. She closed her eyes, passed a hand over her stomach and opened her eyes once again.
Freedom.
Where's my freedom?
Where's my life?
How does it feel to lose so much so young?
How does it feel to lose so much at any age?
How does it feel to cause the loss that consumes you?
"Tell me, Adrian, how do you deal with a traitor?"
Adrian, a brunette with closely-cropped hair, was thrown by Leia's carefully and softly-spoken question. "A – a traitor?"
"Yes." How did they deal with me? "Once captured, does it do any good to threaten a traitor with death? Or does that traitor need more demonstration of your power?"
"I – where are you going with this?"
To my personal hell. "How do you convince someone that you're right? Alderaan – " My home, my home, my beautiful, serene, helpless home " – was a political example. A traitor that keeps in line the – " my family, my lives, my home " – balance of power to ensure the continued freedoms of our lives here."
"But the destruction of an entire world – "
"How many soldiers were aboard the Death Star when it blew?" How many people deserved to die in that hellish prison? "The Alliance is in no way free from mass homicide."
Neither am I.
It was silent in the classroom, her last word, homicide, smeared against the walls in lasting memory.
The professor interposed himself between the two podiums and signaled a ceasefire."I think we are traveling into arenas that can be debated for hours without conclusion, ladies. Care to conclude?"
Just get me out of this room.
Get me out of this body.
Get me away from my memories. Please.
Mmm, not so happy or pretty, eh? Don't you just hate character development sometimes? Lol.
KR