Consumer Decision Making
By Jessie Everingham and Amanda Mirek
Open on a screen of a video game screen, Dirge of Cerberus. Back up to reveal Tifaplaying the game.
Tifa SB#1
私の神おお！ ビンセントはとてもあついです！ -fangirls-
Enter Reno
Reno SB#1
Uh…Not really. But you go ahead and think so.
Tifa continues playing the game, obsessively
Reno SB#1
-waves hand in front of Tifa's face until she turns to face him- Uh, Tifa…How long have you been playing this game?
Tifa SB#1
I have been playing for 100 hours! I fit it into a single weekend!
Reno SB#1
That is the mark of a true gamer considering there is only a total of -pause- 70 hours between the end of school on Friday and the beginning of school on Monday.
Tifa SB#1
-Oblivious to Reno's teasing- I know! -Turns back to video game- NO VINCENT! DON'T DIE!
Reno flops onto couch and grumbles about Vincent. Suddenly the PS2 explodes. Tifa stares at the blank television screen with a look of shock on her face. Reno stifles a laugh.
Tifa SB#2
NOOOOOOOO…
Reno SB#2
: -still suppressing laughter-I suppose it has taken his place…
Tifa SB#2
…OOOOOOOOOOO…
Reno SB#2
Shut up Tifa! It's just a gaming system.
Tifa SB#2
…OOOOOOOOO! -breathes in deep and "dies"-
Reno: -stares at Tifa briefly- I suppose we'll be needing to get you a new PlayStation.
Tifa SB#2
-sits up and smiles- Yay! This one was kind of…not good anyway!
Reno SB#2
Ya think?
A sign appears with "Consumer Decision Making…with Reno and Tifa Tifa and Reno Reno and Tifa"
Narrator
Welcome to our show! Great to see you again! How are the kids? This week on Empty Spot in Programming so We Play Random Documentaries Theater we show the how the consumer type of rabid fan girl…or Oy-tay-koo..
Reno and Tifa
IT'S OH-TA-KU!
Narrator
…Otaku. Let's observe…
Shot on Reno and Tifa in living room.
Reno SB#3
Well, Tifa. Do you have the warranty for the Playstation? -Tifa wrinkles nose in confusion- Uh…The paper that says they will refund the product if the product breaks for some random unknown reason.
Tifa's eyes widen as she reaches into her shirt and pulls out paper after paper after paper after paper.
Reno SB#3
Huh, Interesting. What all do you have in there?
Tifa SB#3
-still searching- Not it…not it…not it…not it…not it… -Finally she removes a wrinkled up piece of paper, the warranty. She unwrinkles it and smoothes it out on her lap. Warranty! She holds it up for Reno to inspect- Here!
Reno takes paper but still continues to stare at Tifa.
Tifa SB#3
Read the warrenty…-Reno ignores her-…warrenty...-Reno still ignores her-…RENO! EYES UP HERE!
Reno SB#3
-looks at paper in hands- Alright already…sheesh Tifa…You'd think if you wanted nobody to look…
Tifa SB#3
I have no pockets! It's convenient, not an invitation!
Reno SB#3
No wonder they are so big…
Tifa crawls over to busted PS2 and strokes it, moaning Vincent's name woefully.
Reno SB#3
-lowers paper- How old is this warrenty, Tif?
Tifa SB#3
I got it when Zack gave me the playstation!
Reno SB#4
-narrows eyes- Well, it's void. You need a completely new system.
Tifa SB#4
Ooooh…-pauses, smiles, squeals- We get to go to the mall!
Reno SB#4
What?
Tifa SB#4
私たちはモール街に行く必要があります！ 私は今新しいシステム...を入手する必要があります！ もしビンセントに会うことができなければ、私は死にます！ 彼は美しいです！
Reno SB#4
Why do I need to go? I don't have anything to do with…
Tifa SB#4
-Smiles innocently- Got your keys?
Reno SB#4
I have better things to do than go shopping with some girl!
Tifa SB#4
Like what? Look at girls!
Reno SB#4
Something like that…
Tifa SB#4
But I need help! Plus, I don't have a car! Yellow is soooooo fashionable!
Reno SB#4
How'd you know my car was yellow?
Tifa SB#4
-Hesitantly- Oh! Well, do you remember the time your car was missing for a few
days?
Reno SB#4
It was weeks…
Tifa SB#4
Yeah well…Ignore that! Back on topic! Look in here! -Throws magazine at Reno-
Reno SB#5
What about my ca…-magazine hits face- Why must I look in here?
Tifa SB#5
-seriously- Informative advertising.
Silence
Reno SB#5
Right…so…Why am I helping you?
Tifa SB#5
So once in your immoral life you can display some ethical behavior, -matter of
factly- from the economic standpoint!
Reno SB#5
That's not what it means!
Tifa SB#5
Then what does it mean you smarta…-stops. Comically long pause-...aaaaaaaaaleck!
Reno SB#5
-places finger in the air- Acting in accordance with moral and ethical convictions
about right and wrong.
Tifa gives blank stare
That means, You, Tifa, would need to have ethical behavior in concerns to the producer.
If they offer a product you want and it's out of your price range you can't send them
hate mail, like you fan girls are known to do…or threaten to attack him with mystical powers you don't have.
Tifa SB#5
But I do have mystical powers…
Reno SB#5
Whatever! It's all the same! It would be normal ethical behavior, not economical, to go with you to ensure you don't go fangirl…on the wrong people. We all know I like that sort of thing.
-straightens collar-
Tifa SB#5
-blank stare- ROAD TRIP! -Sprints to car and tries to open the locked door. Hangs on side of car and ends up falling on back into grass-
Reno sighs and unlocks car
Scene opens focused on a pair of shoes. Tifa's voice can be heard in the background
Tifa SB#6
Shoes…shoes…shoes…Oh my god! Shoes! Let's get some shoes…Let's get some sh…
Cut rapidly to Reno
Reno SB#6
Tifa! Wrong video!
Tifa SB#6
Oh! Well, let's go! -Runs off-
The camera is focused on an advertisement for the XBOX 360 and PS3
Tifa SB#7
-dreamily- I found the video game store…I must buy this one -points to gaming system- No! This one…-points to another- NO! This one!
Reno SB#7
Tifa! Stop being brainwashed by the competitive advertising. It's not that exciting!
Tifa SB#7
Not true, Reno. It's very exciting.
Reno SB#7
Tifa…-sighs- Do you have money for a new system?
Tifa reaches torwards bra again
Reno SB#7
-smiles and tilts head, interested- I meant, have you taken care of your previous responsibilities, but this works too.
Tifa SB#7
What responsibilities?
Reno SB#7
What is your disposable income? Further more, what is your discretionary income?
Tifa SB#7
What?
Reno SB#7
Did you pay your taxes and do you have food?
Tifa SB#7
Yes!
Reno SB#7
Then we're good…I suppose. Now…You don't do anything all day besides sit there and play video games, So I would suggest a more generic brand.
Tifa SB#7
Hey! Killing those random monsters get me a load of money! And, do they even have those video games?
Reno SB#7
"Those" video games? -shakes head- I'm not too sure…But they have those crappy McDonalds toys…close enough…
Tifa SB#7
-wrinkles nose- I am a gamer! I need a better system than a generic one…if they exist…which they don't.
Reno SB#7
Whose the smartaleck now?
Tifa SB#7
You're still mad at that? Three words…Get over it.
Reno SB#7
Fine Princess Money Money Money…-pause- Money! Then get yourself an expensive brand name…which cost money… a lot of money.
Tifa SB#7
Who cares? I have it…It's not a scarcity. That is so two chapters ago, Reno. Let us focus on the here and now… I have narrowed my choices down to the XBox 360 or the PS3.
Reno SB#7
Yeah…I noticed you drooling over the posters. Which do you like more?
Tifa SB#8
-gets serious look on face- Reno, do you think I have a consumerism attitude when it comes to buying products? Do I really need the most expensive system to be happy? Won't Nintendo serve me well too!
Reno SB#8
If you're an emo kid, non-conforming as can be. But seeing as your PS2 exploded I think it's ok to want a better one. So, don't worry.
Tifa SB#8
-cheery- Ok! Anyways, what is your opinion on the systems?
Reno SB#9
-looks over the features of each system- I vote the Xbox 360…It has great features like backwards compatible capabilities, it has internet access, you can play DVDs and CDs, it uses wireless controllers…Plus…it's a lot cheaper.
Tifa SB#9
-bites lip- Yeah, but it has a limited choice of gaming, it is only backwards compatible on stupid games nobody likes, and it's American made. In addition, the PS3 has the same features. But it's made in Japan!
Reno SB#9
The country it came from matters? That is sort of stupid…
Tifa SB#9
A German invented the video game, Americans killed the video game, and the Japanese brought it back. If I buy the PS3 I can play Japanese games, because it's region free! Which broadens it's already wide choice of games!
Reno SB#9
Xbox has the ability to show photos on the tv screen as long as you have a digital camera. And you can voice chat! And, as I have said…It's cheaper!
Tifa SB#10
Why would you use your television to look at pictures? And why wouldn't you just use your phone?
Reno SB#10
Because it's better!
Tifa SB#10
Sounds bait and switch to me! I don't have a Microsoft computer, so would these features still work for me?
Reno SB#10
The magazine doesn't say…
Tifa SB#10
Bait and switch! And if you looked at the PS3 page more you'd see it's only more expensive because it has cinema graphics! –drool-
Reno SB#10
That is so much money for one additional feature! Do you honestly think it's the rational choice?
Tifa SB#11
-scans walls of video games- -gets panicked look- The horror!
Reno SB#11
What?
Tifa SB#11
Xbox offers NO Final Fantasy games! How can I look at my Vincent? My choice is made!
Reno SB#11
Because of Vincent? A fake person? –both characters look at camera and smirk-
Tifa SB#11
Yep! So, let's get it and pay! –reaches into her bra to pull out her money-
Reno SB#11
-stupid smile- Whatever you say…