I don't own twilight. What I own is my character's behavior, personality, background, and the plot of my story.
Author's Note at the end
"I don't understand why you are so worried about him?" Jacob tells her while flipping the burgers on the grill.
"Because whenever Edward is up to something, it is never good."
"He isn't your problem anymore. Stop worrying about him," he tells her.
She looks down at the cucumbers she is cutting for the salad as she whispers, "I am not worried about him. I am worried of him."
Jacob lowers the heat of the grill as he turns to her and gives his back to the grill and asks, "Is he dangerous?" in a very serious tone.
Bella shrugs her shoulders and continues cutting the cucumber, not sure how to answer him. She wishes that she could give a definitive no. In her head, he is good; he is safe; he is great, but when it comes to him; his reality has never matched what's in her head.
"Bella don't shrug at me. I asked you a question. Is he dangerous?" Jacob asks her looking her in the eyes.
Bella grimaces as tears roll down her cheeks against her wishes. She sighs out loud as she swipes under her eyes and rubs her temples while looking at the cucumber she just stopped chopping with her elbows planted on the hardwood the table. She tries to look at them but her sight eventually gets too murky from the tears in her eyes.
Her shoulders shake as she tries to hold her tears. Jacob who has had his eyes on her sees that, turns off the grill, and rushes to her.
"I am so sorry for bringing it up," he tells her as he hugs her and rubs her back. For a long time he lets her cry and doesn't say a word. What will he say? Nothing. What do you tell someone who's entire existence sometimes feels swallowed whole by the action of another? What do you tell someone who's independence feels like an everyday struggle? Nothing. You will hold them and pretend to know that everything will be okay even if both parties know it won't. You keep the pretense that the other person built. Nothing is okay. Nothing will ever be okay. There is no universe in which anything of what happened was ever okay.
After some hiccups, she tells him, "no you are right. You should ask such a question. Truth is that I don't know. I don't know if he would harm others but he did harm me and I don't even know if I feel safe around him. Part of me thinks that since I know him I can anticipate his moves, and we won't be around each other in a way to allow him to. Another part of me can think of a hundred invisible scars that he can inflict on me with how things are. Also, I stayed with him for years so how valid is my judgment to begin with? And after all of this time has passed, do i even know him?"
Bella pats her cheeks dry and takes a deep breath to calm herself down. She can do this. She is here for a reason. She will finish her mission and then move on with her life, and Cece. She finishes cutting the last cucumber and starts the tomatoes when Jacob places a glass of water alongside a painkiller in front of her. He knows her well enough to know that she gets headaches after she cries and would need a painkiller.
"You will not go for those runs anymore. I forbid it," Jacob tells her as he turns the grill back on.
"Are you becoming territorial? I have to tell you that I don't like the smell of piss," Bella says jokingly after chucking the pills without water,a skill she can do on command.
Jacob visible shudders as he tells her, "Ew, what the heck Bella? Do I look like a dog to you?"
"Well, you are all bark but no bite," Bella tells him shrugging her shoulders and then giggling softly.
"Only with you and Cece my dear. Only with you and Cece," he pauses for a second as he focuses on a patty that needs flipping then tells her, " Seriously Bella I don't trust him alone with you. You can't go on those runs anymore."
"I can't Jacob. Edward will just find other ways to get to me. So I might get it over with, wait it out, and see what he is up to."
"You are speaking about his wants and I am speaking about your safety. Your safety trumps his wants. Believe it or not, I kind of love you and don't want to see you hurt," he tells her sounding forlorn.
Bella sets down the knife and gets up and hugs his side, "I love you too. It's not about his wants. When Edward doesn't get what he wants he turns reckless. A reckless Edward is far more dangerous than usual Edward."
After a minute Jacob pulls back and looks into her eyes; whatever he looks for he finds as he rolls his eyes and huffs in irritation and whines, "but I just don't like that."
"Tough luck big boy. You don't need to like it but you need to be okay with it. You can watch us in the car and tape me. If you hear anything you are not okay with, you can get involved. I give you permission to go all FBI agent on his ass, or mine."
"I don't mind that," he tells her wiggling his eyebrows as the hands on her back start descending.
"Down boy, Cece is in the other room."
He gently pushes her to the table as he tells her, "woman get back to the salad. The only thing women are good for, I tell you," by the end using a southern accent.
"Okay. I will. I won't even say a word. Hope that is all the silence you need to decide what to make for dinner." it is a well-known fact among everyone that knows Bella that she is a bad cook. How has she survived that long on her own is a mystery? He makes the motion of raising his hat for her which is something he does whenever she has a good clap back for him.
"But seriously why can't you be like listen, Edward you are an abusive piece of shit and I never want anything to do with you. Fuck off and don't let me see your face ever again."
"Because I will sound like a hypocrite. I work for his father-in-law," Bella replies not missing a beat.
"You are right," then he pauses for a couple of seconds before he asks her, "Do you think he will ever marry her?"
"In my head he does," Bella replies.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I like to imagine that they do then she gets sick of him, divorces him, and takes him to the cleaners. In reality, I don't think he will ever propose. Or maybe he will surprise me and do it. Who knows," she tells him shrugging her shoulder.
"Makes sense," Jacob tells her nodding his head.
"He didn't get access to his trust fund when they were together. He got access to it before. Do you think she would get any of that money?" Bella asks him out of the blue ten minutes later.
"I don't know, and I don't care," Jacob tells her his tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration.
"I think I will ask Seth. He would know," Bella nods her head happy with figuring out how to feed her interest.
"Who is Seth?"
"Edward's friend," Bella replies nonchalantly.
"Bella," Jacob reprimands her loudly.
"What?" she tells him looking up from the lettuce she is chopping.
"His friend? Are you insane?"
"He likes me. Plus, it's not like I am going to tell him why," Bella tells him defensively.
"He is not your problem anymore Bella," Jacob reminds her.
"It isn't even about him at this point. I will keep compulsively thinking about it in the office and not get anything done," Bella replies whining at the end.
"Fine. Do whatever you want. And for heaven's sake finish the salad already you have been on it for the last 40 minutes," Jacob mutters throwing his hand up in the air.
"Not my problem. You know that I am terrible in the kitchen yet demanded that I help."
"Not for long I will make a chef out of you."
Bella raises an eyebrow at him and points at the awkwardly chopped veggies in the ball as if to say, "you think this is the work of an adult who will become a chef."
"Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration. I make you a good cook. The best cook you could possibly be," he tells her standing tall and puffing his chest.
"I thought we already established with me that fixing someone doesn't work?" she asks him.
"Shut up Bob the Builder," he tells her and she sticks out her tongue as a reply.
That is what she loves about her friendship with Jacob. He respects her boundaries, and she never has to worry about him hurting her feelings or making her feel uncomfortable. Yet, their interactions never feel awkward and it never feels like there are any boundaries between them.
Hey lovely people,
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Tell me what you think, theories you have, or even characters you hate. All conductive criticism in welcome.
One of you pointed that it was confusing to read because they couldn't tell when it was a flashback and when it wasn't.
Should I just put above the flashback the word flashback and once done a back to reality or something or have them happen in a different font?
For me I choose to do it this way cause I think it is a more seamless experience than if I included. I think indicating a change in timing aside from the content itself takes away from the reading experience and can be jarring. That's why I choose to separate those with just a page break.
I will be updating next on Sunday.
Till then,
Stay Safe.