Disclaimer: This story includes excerpts of the movie Star Wars. The characters and idea of Star Wars is property of George Lucas. I'm borrowing the characters as respectfully as possible, simply to entertain myself and anyone willing to read this fanfiction.
AN; Yes, Obi-wan did have to deal with a lot last chapter, but it isn't over yet! Did you ever wonder why Obi-wan and Padme never really spoke in ten years after the battle for Naboo? Here is my interpretation, or spin to it. Ship and sadness ahead! Enjoy, and drop me areview if you can:)

Peace of Heart

Goodbye

Padme had finished her talk with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine and was anxious to get away. She had nothing against the Chancellor, but she really wanted to go and see how Obi-wan was doing. When they had found him he was holding his deceased master's body close to him, staring off into the distance. He had given the body up to be ritually burned, a custom on Naboo reserved for royalty. She had given the order for this to be done as a last sign of respect to the jedi master. But in the aftermath of the battle she got caught up in so many briefings and talks she was unable to go see Obi-wan and talk to him. Finally she had seen him when the Chancellor's ship had come, bearing Palpatine and the jedi council to Naboo. But he had seemed distant, detached, cold almost. She assumed it was his way to disguise and hide his grief in front of his masters.

At last she was able to excuse herself from Palpatine's presence. Swiftly she took off to her quarters, followed by her handmaidens. In her private chambers she quickly ordered Rabé to pull one of her most simple dresses out of the wardrobe and Sabé to undo her hair and make-up. She wanted to go to Obi-wan as Padme, not as Queen Amidala. Blessing her handmaidens for not asking questions she cleaned her face, put on a light touch of perfume and changed her clothes.

Taking only Sabé along she headed to Obi-wan quarters. Halfway down the hall she stopped. Of course he wouldn't be in there, she thought, the council was talking to him at the moment. Groaning she let her shoulders slump. He wouldn't be available till late afternoon, and by then she needed to attend more functions, as well as dinner with Palpatine. Sabé's hand on her shoulder made her jump.

"He's in one of the private conference rooms, milady, talking to master Yoda."

She grabbed her handmaiden's hand and squeezed it, smiling at her.

"What would I do without you?"

Sabé smiled back at her. "Play your own decoy?"

Padme's smile grew wider. "Now that is reverse psychology."

Sabé pushed her shoulder forward, nudging Padme in the right direction. They walked down the corridors to the room where Obi-wan was conversing with Yoda. A few feet from the door Sabé stopped and positioned herself behind one of the columns decorating the hallway. She nodded at Padme, indicating she could go on without her. Padme nodded back, thanking her for the privacy she was giving them. Just outside the door Padme halted, hearing the voices of Yoda and Obi-wan. She knew it was a private discussion about jedi matters but her emotional side reasoned that this particular jedi mattered to her and she as queen was allowed to hear these things. She could admit her reasoning was flawed, but curiosity got the better of her.

"…on you, the level of jedi knight, the council does."

'They made Obi-wan a real jedi knight? How wonderful for him!'

"But agree on your taking this boy as your padawan learner I do not."

'Are they talking about Ani?' Padme knew Qui-gon wanted to train the boy. And she knew all Anakin wanted was to be a jedi.

"Qui-gon believed in him."

There was a pause. Padme stayed rooted to the spot, far enough from the door to appear waiting patiently for one of the people inside, but close enough to hear most of the words of their discussion.

"The Chosen One, the boy may be. Never the less, grave danger I fear in his training."

"Master Yoda, I gave Qui-gon my word. I will train Anakin."

When has he done that, she wondered. Suddenly she could imagine Qui-gon asking Obi-wan with his dying breath to train Anakin. She dearly hoped it had not happened like that. It would place an incredible heavy burden on Obi-wan's shoulders.

"Without the approval of the council if I must."

Obi-wan's words floated back to her, in a way confirming that Qui-gon had left the responsibility of Anakin's training squarely on Obi-wan. She could hear the fierce loyalty to his master in his voice. She prayed master Yoda would not turn away from Obi-wan and deny his request.

"Qui-gon's defiance, I sense in you. Need that you do not."

She listened intently, waiting for the diminutive master's response.

"Agree with you the council does."

Padme exhaled silently, relieved to hear his answer.

"Your apprentice, Skywalker, will be."

The room was silent for a moment. Then she heard the small tap of Yoda's walking stick on the floor, and realized he was heading towards the door. She was about to step back when Obi-wan called out.

"Master Yoda?"

The clicking sound stopped, and she guessed Yoda had stopped in his tracks.

"A question you have, Knight Kenobi?"

"Yes, master. I wondered… Is it possible that the Force can channel warmth through a person?"

Her heart skipped a beat. Slowly she took a step closer to the door.

"Explain, to me."

She heard a faint rustling of clothes, and she imagined Obi-wan shifting his position a little.

"When we were on our way from Tatooine to Coruscant I sensed…one of the queen's handmaidens was emotionally distressed. I used the Force to soothe her. When I touched her skin she instantly warmed up where I was touching her, I could feel it. I didn't think much of it at the time, but it happened again sometime later. This time her hand touched me, and both she and I felt a warm sensation permeate our bodies."

She held her breath to be as quiet as possible. 'He had felt that too!'

"Mmm, unusual that is."

Padme's heart was beating wildly against her ribcage. She couldn't believe that he had felt it too. Suddenly it made perfect sense why he had reacted the way he did in the galley the second time they had sat there.

"Perhaps a message, the Force was giving you. But know this for certain, I do not. Meditate on this, Obi-wan. Keep me informed of this you will."

"Yes, master."

When she heard the clicking on the floor again she backed away from the door and took two steps towards Sabé. Only now did she notice that her handmaiden was conversing with one of the palace guards. He face was grim, and she was holding a small datapad. Before Padme had the chance to ask her what was going on Master Yoda opened the door and walked out. Turning on her heels she made a courteous bow to him.

"Master Yoda, it is good to see you."

His ear perked up. "Queen Amidala. An honor to see you, it is."

With an acknowledging nod she let him pass by her. Right after he walked by Sabé approached her and pressed the datapad into her hands.

"Milady, you need to read this."

The urgent tone in her voice made her worry, but right now there was something else she intended to do first.

"I will read it later, Sabé."

"Of course, milady, but do not leave it too long. It needs your full attention."

With a small frown she held the datapad in her left hand and walked back to the room Obi-wan was in. She found him sitting in one of the chairs at a small table. He had pulled it away from the table, and was looking out the large windows into the evening sky. Quietly she closed the door behind her. When she turned back he was looking at her. The setting sun cast a golden glow over his form. He was sitting partially turned to the window, and the light caused his hair to shine. His face was half in shadows, but she could clearly see his eyes. And as the times before they fascinated her.

Realizing he was expecting her to explain why she was here she cleared her throat.

"Knight Kenobi, it's good to see you."

Unconsciously she addressed him as a jedi knight, not thinking how his recent promotion wasn't public knowledge yet. He minutely lifted his eyebrow and a half smile formed on his lips.

"Have you been listening aside the door, milady?"

Padme felt a flush creep up her neck and cheeks, effectively answering Obi-wan's question. His chuckle didn't help abate her embarrassment either.

"I should have known, curiosity is one of your more adventurous sides…"

She hung her head, but couldn't help but smile in return.

"I needed to know how you were doing, Knight Kenobi."

"Obi-wan"

She raised her head at his answer. He was still sporting a sexy half smile, a small light in his eyes she could see but not identify.

"My name hasn't changed with the title."

Padme bit her lip lightly. She was feeling a little giddy right now. There he was, being the newly minted jedi knight he was, and still he granted her the right to call him by his first name.

"How have you been, Obi-wan?" Her voice was soft, afraid that if she spoke louder he would not answer and leave her.

He sighed. "I'm holding up. A lot has happened, and more will come."

She nodded. She knew exactly what he meant.

"If you need some privacy to work I'll be more the happy to leave, milady."

'What? No! You cannot leave, I came to see you, and see if you're alright, and I'm not done yet! Why would you say this?' Then she noticed he was discretely pointing at the datapad in her hand. She had forgotten about it, but Sabé's words suddenly echoed through her mind. She held up her hand to him.

"No, please, stay. It will only be a moment."

Obi-wan nodded and settled himself in the chair. Padme knew he had enough on his mind and probably relished the opportunity to quietly sit somewhere to think and relax. Satisfied he wasn't about to leave she looked at the datapad. It was a report over the camps the Neimoidians had organized in their absence. She knew many had been transported to the camps, but she had been spared the death toll up till now. Truthfully she didn't want to know, but her position demanded her to deal with such horrible facts. The information on the datapad only told her of four specific deaths caused by the explosion of a proximity mine on the outskirts of one of the camps. A family that had been escorted to the camp had accidentally strayed from the path, and triggered the mine. When she read the names of her uncle, aunt and two nieces her heart froze. Her mind went numb, refusing to accept that a big part of her family had died. Her fingers began to tremble slightly, only barely holding on to the datapad.

"Milady?"

Upon hearing Obi-wan's voice she turned to him. The trembling had spread from her fingers to her whole hand. She could feel the tears gathering in her eyes, but the numbness of her mind prevented them from falling. She didn't want to accept the fact that they were dead yet.

"Padme?"

The datapad fell from her hand and clattered to the ground. Obi-wan was up in a flash. He stopped just short of her and reached out his hand. He didn't touch her but held his hand close to her shoulder, not touching her without permission.

"Padme, what's wrong?"

Not thinking or saying a word she raised her own hand and laid it over his collarbone. Softly she pushed him back. With a slight frown he stepped back. But she kept pushing him. Slowly they stepped until the back of his knees hit the chair he had been sitting in. Padme changed the direction she was pushing in and pressed Obi-wan down. Complying Obi-wan sat down, a confused and expectant look in his eyes.

His eyes went wide when she sat down on his lap. She pulled up her feet and placed them on the side of the chair next to the thighs. She curved her right hand protectively around her waist and with her left she grabbed a fistful of his robes. When she laid her head on his shoulder, pressing her nose into his neck, she could feel the warmth she had been seeking. It flowed through her, thawing out her heart and mind. And with it came the tears. But she didn't hold back anymore. She had been emotionally and physically stressed by their battle and all the things that had happened afterwards. She had been running on her reserves, ready to collapse any moment. The news her uncle and his family had died was the straw that broke her back, and she came crashing down. Through her tears and sobs she blessed Obi-wan for being here. He was almost the only one with who she could be the girl behind the queen. She broke down completely when she felt him drape his outer cloak over them, concealing her within a cocoon of his being. His cheek rested on top of her head. His right hand held his cloak tightly wrapped around them, shutting out the outside world. His left hand slid over her right hand and his strong fingers closed around her arm.

They sat like that for an eternity it seemed. Her tears had eventually run dry, but she couldn't bring herself to move. She was completely drained of her energy and all she wanted to do was lay there in his arms and forget. Forget about everything. All the deaths, her responsibility, the future. She wasn't up for it. She felt too young, too inexperienced, too foolish. If she could give it all up and live in ignorance she would have. Her rational mind told her she couldn't do that, but it couldn't drown out the voice of her emotional side that was wailing loudly. It made her feel weak and useless.

"Padme"

His voice was low and full of concern. It reminded of the tone of voice he had used on her that day in the galley. A small shiver ran down her spine.

"Padme, are alright?"

She knew he would mistake the shiver for a sign of discomfort, not one of delight. But she couldn't find her voice to tell him she was alright. Or to tell him his voice was shooting shivers of pleasure down her spine. Oh no, she really couldn't do that.

"Padme, what was on the datapad?"

His question elicited another couple of sobs and tears from her, and she felt him tightening his hold on her. Strengthened by his support she cleared her throat softly. In a hushed voice she barely recognized as her own she told him about her uncle Bowen, aunt Solia and her two young nieces, Caré en Yane. She told him about their demise caused by the mine, about the last time she had seen them and of all the times she had been to their house. Not once did he interrupt her, or made any move to rearrange himself in the chair. He held her tightly and gave no indication of letting go. It comforted her in such a profound way she found herself wishing he would never let go of her. After she was done she fell silent again, just wanting to sit there and forget.

Now her mind had quieted down and her emotion had some semblance of control again she turned her thoughts to Obi-wan. Being so close to him she could feel his own grief. It was a strange feeling. She could almost see the hole in his heart, lying with her cheek on his chest. And without asking she knew he was thinking about Qui-gon. With some trouble she let go of his robes with her left hand. She then reached up and laid her palm on the side of his neck. Softly she stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"Tell me…," she whispered.

His chest heaved as he took a deep breath. Then slowly he started telling her about Qui-gon. How they had met, the adventures they had together. His voice did not falter, but every now and then Padme wiped away a tear with her thumb. She couldn't see his face, but didn't need to. She knew his eyes would hold a forlorn look, the same her eyes had undoubtedly had hold just moments ago.

When he reached the part of their duel with the Sith his voice trailed off. Her imagination painted her a gruesome picture of the dark monster impaling Obi-wan's noble master on its crimson burning lightsaber. She shuddered and pulled herself closer, pressing her nose and forehead tighter into his neck. After a brief silence he continued, telling her how it had ended. Her heart leapt with pride as he told her how he had managed to defeat the Sith. It sounded so unbelievable and amazing to her.

As he told her of Qui-gon's last request she internally sighed. How she had hoped it hadn't happened as she had feared. On the one hand she could understand Qui-gon's motivation to ask it of Obi-wan. Anakin had been denied training by the jedi council, he had told her so on the way from Coruscant to Naboo. It pleased her that Qui-gon had looked out for the boy and wanted him to have a future. But on the other hand his training would be a heavy burden for Obi-wan. Perhaps too much for his age.

"And you're going to train him?"

"I will not break my word to Qui-gon."

His words had a hard edge to them, one that told her he was already feeling the weight of his coming burden. She, reluctantly, pulled away from him to look him in the eye. His eyes were still slightly moist, but exuded a grim determination. She let her left hand slide down his jaw line.

"I know."

At her soft words he softened again. She knew he hadn't meant to be harsh to her, he was handling as much grief, sadness and responsibility as she was. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again he looked at her, his eyes filled with affection, sadness and a little guilt.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she whispered.

Their faces were just a few inches apart. Little by little she trailed her left index finger up his cheek until it was almost touching the right corner of his lips. For a second she switched her gaze from his eyes to his lips. When her finger moved a little further she looked him in the eye again, nervous about his reaction. His face was relaxed and showed no real reaction to her little excursion, but his eyes… This time no gray was visible, just waves of cerulean and sapphire mixing with a midnight blue. His eyes seemed deep wells, letting her see into his very soul. She didn't believe in many clichés, but he held the most expressive eyes she had ever seen, and was sure she could see his soul.

She was about to move her finger an inch further and hope for a reaction when she heard the door open behind her, and someone clear their throat. She snapped her head around and saw Sabé standing with her back to them. Embarrassment rose in her and set her cheeks aflame. But her embarrassment was tinged with satisfaction when Obi-wan's arm did not let go of hers under his cloak. She blinked a few times to clear her head.

"Yes, Sabé?"

She was relieved her voice sounded normal and strong.

"Milady, you are expected to dine with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine in half an hour. Your other appointments have been rescheduled."

'Half an hour? When I went looking for Obi-wan I had at least three hours left before going to that dinner. I now have half an hour left!'

"Thank you, Sabé. I will join you outside in a moment."

"Yes, milady."

Padme could hear amusement in her handmaiden's voice, but before she could call her on it Sabé had already left the room and shut the door behind her. She turned back to Obi-wan, curious again.

"Do you have a timepiece?"

He nodded slightly. "Yes, it's on my belt. Right side, second pocket."

Without hesitation she dropped her left hand and patted his belt in search of the second pocket. She brushed her fingers over his lightsaber. For a split second she pondered if she should make the age-old joke concerning the other 'lightsaber', but quickly decided against it. Her rational mind screamed at her not to, since she was already sitting in his lap and had been exploring his lips before Sabé had entered. No need to throw explosives into the fire, she thought. Finally she found the pocket, and the small timepiece inside. It told her that indeed three hours had passed. She chalked it up as another incredible thing happening to her in the last couple of days. She put it back into his pocket and faced him again.

"I have to go."

'Damn, he's wearing that sexy half smile again.'

"I know."

'Damn, that voice again!'

She gulped. "Then perhaps you could…" She trailed off at the end, halfheartedly gesturing at his robe and her place on his lap.

His grin grew at her predicament and he made no sign of moving. Narrowing her eyes a little she huffed and pulled gently on his padawan braid. His eyes twinkling he finally took pity on her. Releasing his hold he threw open his cloak, and moved his arm off hers. Gingerly she placed her feet back unto the ground and lifted herself up. She took a moment to straighten out her dress. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Obi-wan hadn't moved an inch, and was still sporting a saucy grin. It sent butterflies to her stomach.

"When will I see you again?"

This cleared the smile off his face, much to her disappointment.

"At the funeral I suppose."

She had no idea what to say or do. The mantles of their roles were suddenly back on their shoulders, and it broke them apart. She reached out and took his right hand into her own. Giving it a light squeeze she nodded. Her heart felt a bit lighter when he squeezed back. Knowing there was nothing she could do further now she let go of his hand and moved to the door. She opened it and was about to step through when she stopped in her track. An intense feeling of reaching out to him again, seeing him again, even touching him again overwhelmed her. She saw Sabé giving her a curious look from the hall. Closing her eyes for a moment she suppressed the feeling, knowing there was no time for it now. With renewed determination she stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her.

- ∞ -

'By the Force…'

Obi-wan let his head fall back against the chair with a small thud. Breathing deeply he tried to regain control of his swirling emotions and raging hormones. It had taken quite some selfcontrol not to let his body respond to hers. 'A beautiful young woman on your lap will do that to you, Kenobi.' He sighed. 'And especially that one…'

The warmth he had felt when she nuzzled his neck had been familiar, and greatly comforting. He wondered if master Yoda was right in telling him the Force was giving him a message. Master Yoda wasn't wrong often, especially concerning the Force. But what would the message be? With a heavy sigh he closed his eyes. As if his life wasn't complicated enough…

- ∞ -

"Alright, Anakin. You go to the landing pad and wait for me in the Chancellor's ship. I have one more thing to do."

"Okay"

The boy sounded a little down to Obi-wan. Remembering how Qui-gon had always managed to lift his spirits when he had been depressed about something he tried to improve the boy's mood.

"Save me a seat, will you?"

This elicited a small smile from Anakin. Good, Obi-wan thought.

"Yes, master."

The door closed and he was gone. But his words still resounded through Obi-wan's mind. Master. Yes, he was someone's master now. He turned to finish the pack containing Qui-gon's belongings. Shaking his head he still couldn't believe it. It would take time to get used to it, he reckoned. When he heard the door open behind him he thought Anakin had returned.

"I thought I told you to save me a seat o—"

He found himself looking at the person he had been avoiding a little before his departure. Not that he wanted too, but he felt it was necessary in order for him to leave. If she made another move like she had done the other day he would not have the willpower to leave. He gulped.

"Padme"

She was dressed like one of her handmaidens, in the flame colored dress he had seen her in a few times before. But this time she had left the cowl of her dress off her head, and her rich dark chestnut hair fell over her shoulders and back. Her expression was guarded, but he could clearly sense the disappointment, longing and sadness in her. Her voice sounded even, in an effort to appear royal and unaffected.

"Going without saying goodbye, Knight Kenobi?"

His heart broke seeing her like this. He cursed both their roles for forcing them into this separation. He felt his own heart tugging at him to stay here, forget about the jedi and live his life with this beautiful petite woman. But his head told him he couldn't.

"I'm sorry, milady."

He could see a flicker of pain pass behind Padme's eyes, but it quickly disappeared.

"Very well. I wish you a pleasant journey, Knight Kenobi."

She turned and moved to open the door. But Obi-wan quickly stepped forward and caught her right wrist in his left hand. Turning her around he ignored the look of surprise and indignation on her face and pulled her close to him. He wrapped his right arm around her waist and placed his left hand on the back of neck. For a split second she tensed, resisting the embrace. But quickly her hands rose up and linked together behind his neck. Her head pressed into his shoulder. Softly he caressed her hair with his left hand.

"I'm so sorry, Padme…"

She remained silent, but he could feel she was battling against her tears. He pulled slightly away from her. Her eyes were indeed moist and she looked very sad. He laid his forehead against hers.

"Please don't cry."

"I don't want you to leave, Obi-wan."

"I know…"

"What if I'd resign as queen and go with you to Coruscant?"

Her voice sounded desperate. He minutely shook his head.

"Then I would still be a jedi, and you would be miserable. You need to stay here on Naboo, it is your home."

"But without you…I don't want to be queen anymore."

In an instant it was clear to Obi-wan what he needed to do, even though it would break his heart forever. He could not leave her like this, and she needed to stay here and serve her people. Although she was strong and wise, emotionally she was still a child. He barely considered himself a full adult, and he had matured beyond his years by all the things he had seen in his life as a jedi. Drawing on the Force for strength he pulled his right arm off her waist. With a single tear in his eye he placed his palm on her cheek.

"You will remain queen."

For a moment she just stared at him, her expression blank. When she answered him her voice was even and flat.

"I will remain queen."

His voice came out a little hoarse, broken with the emotions he was feeling.

"You will forget about me."

When she repeated his second Force suggestion her words completely shattered his heart, but he knew it had to be done.

"I will forget about you."

Obi-wan closed his eyes in defeat and gently pushed her away. He turned and grabbed his pack. Then without a word he walked past Padme. Standing in the door opening he glanced over his shoulder.

"Goodbye, Padme…"

Quickly he stepped out while his resolve was still there. The door closed behind him, separating him from the incredible young woman on the other side. Walking down the corridors he tried to release all his emotions into the Force like he had learned from a very young age. The Force flowed through him and took away his immediate pain and sadness. But a small ache in his heart remained, an ache the Force refused to purge from him. Fairly certain the masters wouldn't pick up on it he entered the Chancellor's ship. He took the seat next to Anakin, thanking him for saving it for him. The boy's happy smile made him smile outwardly, but inside he was torn to shreds. He closed his eyes when he felt the ship liftoff and fly away from Naboo.

'Goodbye, Padme…goodbye.'

- ∞ -