Disclaimer: This story includes excerpts of the movie Star Wars. The characters and idea of Star Wars is property of George Lucas. I'm borrowing the characters as respectfully as possible, simply to entertain myself and anyone willing to read this fanfiction.
AN; Well everybody, I'm back! I had a lovely vacation in France. Great weather, nice beaches, cold ocean water! I however did suprise myself by writing a whopping five chapters on a pad I brought along. I even had to buy a new one! Unfortunately two chapters are for Stargate, but the rest is all Peace of Heart! I just have the oh so exciting job of typing into the computer. Joy. Sorry about the cliffhanger, but I really hadn't done something like that before and this piece became too large for 1 chapter. I expect the next chapter to appear somewhere after wednesday, because I have to study for an exam Soil Chemistry on that day. Wish me luck! And or course, let me know what you think! X, Mu-san

Peace of Heart

A late night conversation

Padme angrily pushed the pad to open her bedroom doors and stormed into the living room. She immediately noticed Obi-wan's brown cloak lying on the back of the couch, but its owner was not present. Quickly she scanned the room and came to the fuming conclusion he wasn't here at all. Her anger went up a notch.

'How dare he not be here when I need him.'

A sudden noise behind her made her spin around. The kitchen, he was in the kitchen! She immediately rushed to the other room. When she entered the kitchen she saw him standing in front of the stove, his arms loosely folded over his chest. A kettle was on the heating plate and a teacup on the counter, along with a small canister holding the tea. Apparently he's making tea for himself, she thought. A flash of heat passed through her as she remembered their previous encounters over tea. Her breathing became a little heavier.

'How dare he drink tea without me!'

At this point Padme didn't care about reason or rational thinking. She was being fuelled by strong emotions over her suppressed memories and the man standing right there, looking like nothing had happened between them in the past ten years.

'Well, nothing díd happen between us in the past ten years, and it's all his fault!'

She was still standing in the door opening gathering steam when Obi-wan looked up. His face showed surprise, judging by the way his eyebrows lifted.

"Milady"

This flipped a switch inside her and she practically flew to him. Obi-wan let his arms slide down his sides.

"Why are you out of bed so late—"

A sharp sound stopped him from finishing his sentence. It was the sound of Padme's hand coming into contact with the side of his face. She had raised her right hand as high as she could and with every ounce of strength had flung the palm of her hand at his cheek. Now her hand dangled in front of her left hip while Obi-wan's cheek bore an angry red imprint of her hand.

For a few moments they stood in silence. Obi-wan was looking down at the floor, completely stunned. Padme was simply glaring at him, breathing heavily and holding back the urge to slap him again. The Obi-wan turned his head and looked at her. The surprise, shock and faint traces of guilt in his eyes weren't lessening her anger but increasing it. Padme took one step closer and banged a balled fist on his chest, letting it rest there. In a raised voice she started yelling at him.

"How dare you… How dare you!"

Obi-wan's eyes still held a great deal of surprise, but she could see the traces of guilt intensify as his mind was no doubt catching on. But she didn't let go of her anger. There were things she needed to say and he was going to hear them.

"You had no right to take away my memories from me. They were mine, ánd yours, and there was no reason to pretend like they didn't exist. You left me, and you did it all for the wrong reasons. You needed to talk to me, not wave your hand in front of my face like I was some simpleton you could fool, before running away from the situation!"

She hit his chest with her other hand, but this time flat with the palm of her hand and with a little less force.

"I know it was a difficult time for both of us, but that's just it! We could have faced it together! If you had any respect for our connection you would have allowed me to speak, not rob me of any chance to do so."

His eyes now spoke only of guilt and pain, and resist as she wanted the knot in her insides was slowly coming undone. She continued to beat her hands against his chest during her rant, but each time their impact and speed decreased.

"We could have talked, come to some sort of agreement—"

Slowly her anger was dissipating, leaving behind a great feeling of sadness, loneliness and longing.

"—some way that could have worked. But you took it away from me…you went away. You left me…"

By now her voice had been reduced to a broken whisper, choking on her words. Her hands stopped beating his chest and chose to grab hold of his robes. It instantly sparked another memory and her eyes filled up with tears. Since she had woken from her dream her initial shock had been replaced by an emotional anger. But now her words had exploded with the pent up strain she felt herself flowing down a wild river of emotions. Softly her body started shaking. She left his gaze and let her head hang between them. Her last words came out shakily, betraying her confused and conflicting emotions.

"You left me…"

And after that her anger was completely gone. She wanted to tear away from him and lock herself in her room to cry her eyes out. But her hands wouldn't dislodge themselves from his robe and her feet were made of granite.

"You left me…," she repeated, in nothing more then an almost inaudible whisper.

When his arms circled around her shoulders she felt all her reservations fade away. She lessened her hold on his robes and laid her head down on his shoulder, pressing her nose into his neck like she had done so many years ago. The tears began streaming down her face and her body started shaking more heavily with sobs, but she never noticed. All she could feel was the strength of his body and arms, along with the comforting warmth blanketing her entire being. Her heart was softly telling her this was the greatest place of comfort and love she would ever find. After the tears had stopped she would compose herself again and let her rational side take over, hushing these feelings and burying them deep, but for now she would feel, know and accept nothing else.

Obi-wan's hands were rubbing up and down her back and slowly her sobs were subsiding. A subtle pressure forced her backwards and placed her into one of the chairs. When she felt him pull away she tightened her hold on his robes again. But quickly she realized he was only grabbing another chair to sit next to her and she released him, her cheeks blushing with embarrassment. She never intended to appear to be…needy. Luckily Obi-wan said nothing about it.

He sat down next to her, their hands close but not touching. Padme looked up at him but he was staring at the kettle on the stove. Most likely thinking about what to say, she thought. Her quick analytical mind had already thought about their goodbye ten years ago on Naboo and had provided her with the reasons she and Obi-an had to part. But her emotional side was still unwilling to listen to reason. She needed to hear from him why he had done what he had done. And so she decided to start things off.

"Obi-wan…tell me why."

His head snapped back to her and his blues eyes looked straight at her. Guilt clearly shone in them, along with and emotional turmoil that caused her heart to flutter.

"Padme, there was nothing else I could have done. We both knew our positions would not allow us the freedom to see each other. And we were both young, too young. You didn't mean what you said, it was born out of an emotional desperation."

Although she knew he was right about them being young and her feeling desperation at that time his words made her bristle.

"Maybe, but that still gave you no right to use the Force to suppress my memories."

He turned away his head. "I wanted to spare you the pain."

His confession made her freeze for a second. It was a level of compassion she rarely saw and it warmed her heart. However she felt it had been misplaced. She placed her hands over his.

"But you should have trusted me to be able to deal with it. You can't take away someone else's pain and expect everything to be alright."

She saw him close his eyes and smile sadly. "I screwed up, didn't I?"

Padme squeezed his hands, revelling in their warmth. It surprised her a little she was already giving him her forgiveness, but she couldn't refuse him. She smiled. "Yes, yes you did."

He looked back at her and her smile brought on a smile of his own. Obi-wan stood up and pulled his hands away from hers. A little confused she watched him go. But when he retrieved another teacup from a cupboard her smile grew wider. He fixed them both tea and sat back down on the same chair next to her. While sipping the hot liquid they softly talked about their lives. How things went after they had said goodbye, what they had done in the past ten years.

They never spoke of Obi-wan's feelings about their goodbye, but Padme knew there would be another time for that. Right now she was glad to have Obi-wan, the friend, back in her life. A tiny whisper in the back of her mind told her there was time enough for something more later. For a fleeting moment she didn't understand what the voice was telling her. But the she remembered how Obi-wan had wanted to spare her the pain of their separation. A pain hé did feel. Her heart gave another flutter and copied the whisper from the back of her mind.

- ∞ -

Quickly walking back to their quarters Anakin was still silently fuming over his bad luck. It had taken him ages to prepare and process their notes on the border dispute on Antion. Why did Obi-wan always have to be so elaborate and lengthy with his reports! And master Gasian had asked far too many question to his liking. It had felt like an endless list! Finally the jedi master had been satisfied and he and his padawan set off to Antion.

Entering their quarters Anakin quickly gathered his things and headed out the door. Hastily he walked back to the speeder. He needed to see Padme. Of course she would not be up at this hour, he knew that. But she didn't need to be. He just wanted to watch her. In the hangar he located their speeder and jumped in. Revving the engine he tore off.

- ∞ -

So, jedi master Kenobi, any romantic adventures to talk about in these past ten years?"

She had tried to ask the question that had been burning in her heart for a while now, and she attempted to sound as airy and carefree as she possibly could. A small pang of guilt stabbed her as she remembered the few romantic encounters she had in the past years. Obi-wan half snorted in response.

"I'm sorry, Padme, no romantic escapades for this jedi. Sorry, no juicy gossip there."

Although he smiled she could hear a faint undercurrent of frustration and longing. Or she was imagining it to fill her own desires. Quickly shaking that notion she pressed on.

"So no beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet?"

'I'd be very surprised if that never happened. Because the years have been kind to you, jedi knight…'

He shook his head. "Nope, and besides, there is only one real commitment in my life I can have."

Fantasy overtook Padme's mind for a split second, showing her dreams and desired she had entertained a long time ago about a certain dashing padawan. Fighting the crimson blush about to grace her cheeks she responded.

"Oh?" 'Oh, real articulate, Padme.'

"Yes. The jedi Order."

For a second she sat there, absorbing the information. A part of her was kicking and screaming, exclaiming just how unfair that was. But the larger part, her curiosity, won the right to speak.

"Obi-wan, that's not really love you're talking about, is it?"

He looked at her with a somewhat confused look, and again she had to fight a blush from rising.

"Love? Padme, a jedi isn't allowed to love. It's too dangerous."

'Okay, that won't do.'

"What do you mean?"

"Well, love can lead to possession, even obsession. They in their turn can lead to jealousy and anger, which lead to the Darkside. And that is a place no jedi must ever go."

Her complete shock about not being allowed to love was momentarily set aside when he mentioned the Force. Since meeting him and Qui-gon she had always been intrigued by the Force, but unable to learn much about it as a non Force sensitive.

"Tell me about the Force. I had heard Qui-gon speak of it a few times, but is still remains a little unclear to me."

Obi-wan looked indecisive for a split second before smiling benignly. "Alright, what do you want to know?"

Padme grinned as widely as she could and extended her arms to either side, like a fisherman indicating the size of the gooberfish he had caught. "Everything!" she said in her most childlike and enthusiastic voice.

And it garnered her the treat she had been looking for. Obi-wan threw back his head and laughed heartily. His laugh reverberated through her body, bringing waves of joy to her. Coming back to her Obi-wan settled back into his chair, still smiling.

"You don't ask much, do you?"

She quickly shook her head.

'No, not much, just—'

The thought stopped right there, halted in its tracks by her conscious mind.

"Well, let me see. The Force…The Force is the power that holds this universe together. It's the reason everything looks the way it does, and is the way it should be. People often refer to the Force as fate, and in a way they're right."

"Like you can see what happens before it does."

He nodded. "Exactly. Because of the higher concentrations of midi-chlorians in our bodies the jedi are able to hear and feel the Force around them. If trained properly, we can hear it's will and act accordingly. Or foresee certain events and change or prevent them."

She could vividly remember Obi-wan and Qui-gon deflecting laserbolts all around her and a little shudder went through her. The jedi really did have some control over who lives or dies.

"So you can save lives."

"Yes, that is one of our mandates, to protect life."

This puzzled Padme a little. "But if you are there to protect life, how can you do so without love? Doesn't it require love to do so?"

"Mmm, yes and no."

Padme raised her eyebrows in a questioning look.

"It requires selfless love for a jedi to want to protect life. Compassion. Out of it comes our sense of duty."

Obi-wan paused. But Padme quickly urged him on. Now they were back on the subject of love she needed to know everything. She wouldn't examine her reason for it just yet, but she really wanted to know.

"The problem with love is that it isn't selfless. The temptations of the Darkside are too great."

She wasn't so sure about that, but decided not to comment on that at the moment.

"But what is the Darkside? And what makes it so dangerous?"

Obi-wan threw her a quick incredulous look. "Remember the Sith on Naboo?"

'Oh, right. Stupid.'

"Imagine a jedi with all his powers. When that jedi gives in to the Darkside of the Force he or she will use all those powers to their personal gain, to hurt other beings or even kill for pleasure. The soul of a jedi will become tainted and the jedi will forever be changed."

Obi-wan shifted in his chair and looked her directly in the eyes.

"The Darkside lures a jedi with promises of power, wealth and a life of no responsibilities. But once a jedi joins the Darkside he will forever be its prisoner."

It sounded dark, she admitted, but still a little vague to her. A person could change his ways, show remorse and turn back to the light couldn't he? She voiced her question to Obi-wan. For a long time he sat in contemplation, occasionally glancing at her. Finally he came out of it with a small sigh.

"It's difficult to understand for some non Force sensitive to understand the severity of it."

He frowned, as if questioning himself.

"Perhaps…"

"What?" She couldn't keep the eagerness out of her voice.

He shifted in his chair again, placing his knees on either side of hers. Taking her hands inside his he looked her deep in the deep. She felt like he was looking into her soul again.

"Do you trust me?"

- ∞ -