Disclaimer: This story includes excerpts of the movie Star Wars. The characters and idea of Star Wars is property of George Lucas. I'm borrowing the characters as respectfully as possible, simply to entertain myself and anyone willing to read this fanfiction.
AN; part two, here it is! Get ready for Obidala, big time! Ready? Get set? Go!

Peace of Heart

Revelations part 2

Obi-wan gave her a strange look. "O...kaay. So where can we sit?"

Without much thought she lead him to her bedroom. There was a nice fire in the small hearth and a couch that could easily sit two people. And it would ensure their privacy. It certainly seemed a lot better than the sitting room to her at the moment. There was no way she would sit there, in the same spot as hours ago, with Obi-wan. It just…wasn't right. She opened her door and ushered Obi-wan in. With a quick glance out into the hallway she closed the door and walked to the couch. She sat down and looked at her companion. He was poking the fire, creating higher flames and a pleasant heat reached her face. Again his display of manners, even if it was just attending to the fire, endeared her. She couldn't imagine Anakin tending to the fire to make the situation more pleasant.

Obi-wan sat down on the couch next to her but kept a decent distance. Again his courtesy impressed her, but she would not agree with it this time. She reached out with her left hand and placed it on top of his left hand. She could feel his hand was a little cold, but immediately the familiar and expected warmth started growing. She felt the knots of stress in her stomach starting to unravel at its comfort. Obi-wan placed his right hand over their joined hands.

"Mmm, your hand is warm. I can tell you, if you have the choice don't go to Kamino, unless you bring your swimsuit."

She smiled. "And why is that?"

Obi-wan shook his head. "All water and rain. I got soaked just walking from the landing platform to the door. And sitting in a cold spacecraft isn't all that nice and comfy either. My robes are made to withstand bad weather, but I was actually feeling a little cold when I got here."

He probably wasn't going to tell her about his progress on finding the bountyhunter, she realized. But at the moment she didn't care about that. She rubbed his hand with hers. "Better now?"

He smiled at her. "I will be, this fire is burning nicely and you are certainly not cold."

She smiled and felt that the situation was comfortable enough to execute her plan. A small voice in the back of her mind told her this was the second time she initiated close intimate physical contact with him, not counting the hugs. Internally smiling she told it to shut up. She lifted his left hand with hers, brought it over her head and draped it over her shoulders. She turned her body towards him and nestled her head on his shoulder, her forehead resting against his neck.

Almost directly after she had placed his arm over her shoulders he softly squeezed her left upper arm and held her to him. She closed her eyes and felt their combined warmth increase rapidly until she was more then comfortably warm. It was almost like she was floating on a soft bed, covered by a blanket of heat. She closed her eyes and sighed contently.

They sat silently like that for at least half an hour. She didn't feel sleepy at all, even though the hour was late. It gave her the time to think about everything that had happened this night. The peace Obi-wan brought allowed her to think about Anakin without wanting to crawl into bed and stay under the covers for at least a week. After some thinking she decided not to tell Obi-wan what had happened, but he could answer her a few questions that she was holding.

"Obi-wan?"

"Mmm"

He sounded a little sleepy, but she knew he was listening to her with undivided attention. She wasn't sure how, but she was. Just the kind of man Obi-wan is, she reflected.

"Remember the night we talked?"

"Mmm, how can I forget."

She pinched him with her index and middle finger in his side. "You can't."

His frame lightly shook with a small chuckle and she noted how he didn't even flinch when she had pinched him. Probably saw it coming through the Force, she thought. Darn.

"The…connection you made between us…"

"Yes?"

"What did you do exactly?"

He was silent for a moment before he responded. "I made a Force connection between our minds, like a bridge, so you could feel what the Force is to me."

"So you shared your vision with me?"

She couldn't see Obi-wan's frown but knew it was there. "Yes, and no. You felt the Force in the way I do, at least I think you did, I'm not completely sure. But you didn't share my vision as I don't see the Force. You briefly shared my feelings…or rather my being…this is hard to explain…you shared—"

"Your soul?" she whispered, almost afraid the level of her voice would break the memory.

He hesitated for a second. "Well, if you want to express yourself a little dramatically, yes, but I would say you saw and shared…me. I can't really think of another wording for it. It was just…me."

Padme nodded against his shoulder. Dramatics-sramatics, your soul it was then, she silently concluded. It was more of a confirmation then a surprise to her, but it didn't diminish her feelings about it. On the contrary, they were now more valuable than ever.

"Do the jedi ever have romantic love?"

The instant she said it she wanted to take it back. It was not what she had wanted to say, it just blurted out. Not that it wasn't a question she had been asking herself for a while now, but the timing simply was awful. With baited breath she awaited his reaction.

"Why?" he finally asked after a long silence.

She shrugged as casually as she could. "Just wondering where all the little jedi's come from."

His laugh started as a small rumble in his chest but eventually turned into a full-scale earthquake. It echoed through the room and Padme could swear the fire burned a little brighter. She released her breath, relieved he believed her excuse and that it hadn't turned into an awkward moment.

"Yes, the jedi do know romantic love. But the younglings aren't the result of jedi parentage. The midichlorians can be infused into a child by the Force during the pregnancy, it doesn't need the parents to be established jedi."

"But it has happened? That a jedi has a family?"

"Yes, it has happened in the past. The Jedi Code forbids romantic involvement with another person because of the risks, as I explained last time. But there have been jedi that have taken a wife or husband. They were expelled from the Order and were not allowed to use the Force again."

"Do you think the punishment was appropriate?" she asked, hoping her voice would sound even and casual.

"Yes, it's too difficult to have both."

"But would it be worth it?"

She knew the full extent and implication of her question. She was basically asking Obi-wan if he could choose love over the Force. It was a dangerous question, but she couldn't help but ask it. She truly wanted to know. Obi-wan again was silent for a moment. When he answered his voice sounded distant, like his thoughts were parsecs away.

"I don't know…"

Padme wasn't sure what his answer could mean and she closed her eyes in an attempt to analyze his words. The fact he hadn't spoken out immediately declaring love to be a forbidden emotion was a good thing. But then again he hadn't really confirmed anything either…

"Padme?"

"Mmm"

"Are you asleep?"

"No, I'm awake."

"Then why are your eyes closed and you haven't said anything for the last half hour?"

'Half hour? What is he talking about, I just said something a minute ago! And why is it so dark in here?'

"We just had a conversation…why is it so dark in here? Is the fire still going?"

She felt Obi-wan's chest vibrate a little with his chuckle. "We ended our conversation half an hour ago when you stopped asking me question. Yes, the fire is still going. And as to why it's so dark, that's probably because you still have your eyes closed."

Padme needed a moment before she could process all the information. "Oh"

"Why don't we retire for the night."

"Nnnnnnn, I don't feel like sleeping yet."

"Really? Then you can open your eyes?"

She tried to open her eyes for what seemed like ages. Eventually she gave up. "Too hard…"

Obi-wan didn't respond. His shoulder disappeared from her shoulders and she fell back against the couch. Then she felt his strong arms slide under her back and knees. On a reflex she wrapped her arms around his neck. She could feel Obi-wan's beard brush against her forehead. It was both a familiar and reassuring feeling. For a few moments she felt weightless, cradled in his arms. Then he lowered her unto what felt suspiciously like a mattress and covered her with what clearly felt like a thick blanket. She sighed and squirmed a little, her arms still around his neck and her eyes still closed.

"Mmm"

His warm hands pried off her fingers and laid her arms next to her body.

"Goodnight, Padme."

"Goodnight," she murmured.

Although she was lingering in between awake and asleep she could feel the gentle pressure of Obi-wan's lips on her forehead. It was the tickle of his beard, the softness of his lips and the instant warmth that gave him away. Then she heard him walk away and the door softly closed behind him. Now she was alone she willed her mind to think things through before she fell asleep.

It was now absolutely clear to her that she would deny Anakin in his romantic interest in her. She did not return the sentiment and she would not be the reason why he would be expelled from the jedi order. She would also tell him that his feelings were dangerous and that he should talk with Obi-wan about them. Somehow she had the feeling Anakin was hiding a few things from his master, especially this. If things could turn out as grave as Obi-wan say they could, immediate steps should be taken to ensure Anakin stays on the right path. She would talk to him after Obi-wan leaves.

After her decision about Anakin two things kept bothering her. One was Obi-wan's half answer at the end of their conversation, the other was their contact. When she had asked him if love was worth giving up being a jedi he had sounded so deep in thought that his answer didn't add up. If you don't know something then you can say that without hesitation, she knew Obi-wan would do so in her presence. But he hadn't. His answer had felt like he was hiding his real answer, giving her an unclear one that could mean anything and nothing at the same time. She was unsure how to feel about this.

Then there was their contact. She had wondered about their contact for a long time now, ever since she had gotten her memories back. It had stung a little when Anakin mentioned that only the weak-minded could be influenced by Force suggestion, but she had to admit that she had been young and emotionally weak at the time. She comforted herself with the fact that she was a lot stronger now. But she wondered about the warmth that always appeared when Obi-wan would touch her. She could remember overhearing Obi-wan and Yoda now, and knew Obi-wan felt it too. He had even said so tonight. What did he say again? Ah yes, he had gotten cold from the rain on Kamino and the cold atmosphere in his ship. But he said it was going to be better when she had placed her hand on top of his. His hand did feel cold to her, but…quickly…after…

She opened her eyes and sat up straight. His hands had been cold. But they had warmed immediately when she had touched them. And the cold hadn't bothered her at all. Not like times when Anakin had touched her skin. His hands had been freezing and caused her to shiver instantly. But the thing that gave her the mental shock was the idea that Anakin's hand might not have been cold at all. He had never complained about being cold and he always wore his warm jedi tunic. In fact, when she really thought about it, it hadn't really been Anakin's body temperature that had disturbed her. It was his touch. His touch caused shivers and gooseflesh, but not in the good sense. Her sexual frustrations had welcomed his attention, but her entire being had rejected him the moment he had touched her skin.

That led her to another big revelation. Obi-wan's touch had no such effect on her. In fact, did she not welcome his touch? She could remember her emotional state when the two jedi had chased after the bountyhunter on Coruscant. It was his touch she had needed then, the comfort he brought her. She felt so safe in his arms. So safe and…

She clapped her hand over her mouth even though she hadn't uttered a word. Oh my goodness. She felt safe and…loved. When she was with Obi-wan she felt loved, unafraid to show whom she really was without having to worry about appearances, fears or weaknesses. Padme felt like crying and hysterically laughing at the same time. For she knew she would only let her guard down so completely with the people she loved. So that left her with only one explanation why everything about Obi-wan felt so good to her. She loved him.

Immediately she realized why Obi-wan's half answer had been bothering her so much. She wanted him to say yes. To acknowledge that he thought love was one of the greatest things in the world and worth the sacrifice. That he himself had found someone to make the sacrifice for, that is was she…

She let herself fall back into her bed, grabbed her pillow and pressed it into her face. Then she groaned as loudly as she could. She threw the pillow next to her and stared at the ceiling.

'Why must everything be so difficult? Why can't I just for once stumble upon the easy road, the easy way? Nooooo, Padme must long for that which she cannot get. Way to go girl, could you possible set your sights any higher?'

She snorted. At least she could now understand what Anakin was rambling on about. She indeed wanted to be with Obi-wan and he had already starred in her dreams a few times. It would have been funny if it wasn't so depressing. She now had a good solid argument to deny Anakin with. She was in love with his master…

- ∞ -

Obi-wan lay on the soft bed, his eyes fixed on an invisible spot on the ceiling. He was surprised that his thoughts were rather calm after the interesting and stirring conversation he had with Padme. The only thing that bothered him about their conversation was the fact that he hadn't given her an honest answer. He told her he didn't know if giving up the Jedi Order for love was worth it. But he did. And he had for a long time now.

He rolled over to his side and stared at the dying fire in the hearth of this room. Qui-gon had been an unusual master and jedi, one who thought that love was an integral part of life and he living Force. That was probably the only reason Qui-gon had accepted him back after his little stunt on Melida/Dann. Obi-wan closed his eyes for a moment. Melida/Dann. A planet engulfed with civil war and he a padawan throwing away his commitment to the Jedi Order all because of his conviction to help the Young movement in its quest to end the war. That, and his love for one of its members. Janishe, the girl with the long black hair and piercing green eyes…

He had been ostracized by the Order. With a grim smile he remembered how things had failed between him and Janishe, and how he had come back to Qui-gon on his knees, begging his forgiveness. In a cold voice his master had told him that his actions were inexcusable, and if Obi-wan had done this for reasons other than love he would not have accepted him back. For months things had been strained between him and Qui-gon. Finally one evening, after his doing his extra duties, Obi-wan had sat down on the couch next to his master. Qui-gon had looked sternly at him for a long time, before asking him one question.

"Is love worth giving up being a jedi?"

Obi-wan had immediately responded that it wasn't. He had thought so when he had left his title as padawan behind on Melida/Dann, but his fear of again being denied his life as a jedi had been great and it forced him to follow and obey the Code in its totality. To his surprise a brief look of disappointment flashed across Qui-gon's face, before he spoke again.

"Then you will devote your life to the jedi."

Qui-gon had looked away and said nothing for the rest of the evening. Obi-wan had taken his words to heart and had followed the Code ever since. But something had struck him tonight. For years he hadn't thought of that brief conversation he had with Qui-gon so many years ago, but Padme's question had brought it back. Is love worth giving up being a jedi? In a moment of clarity he knew that Qui-gon would have said yes, that true love was worth it. And the scary thing was that Obi-wan was starting to agree with him. His love for Janishe had been good but not true enough. It was a mixture of their love and the war that fuelled his decision then.

But now… He sighed. Now he was starting to agree with Qui-gon again because of Padme. He had closed off their connection so long ago because he didn't know how to handle it. It scared him how easy the young Queen had entered his heart and had shattered all his defences. He had turned his back on her, part for Anakin's sake and part for his own, and had tried to forget her. But the Force had different ideas. Now she had entered his life again after ten years the process had started all over again, only faster this time. The night they shared talking had brought him back to exactly the same position he had been in when they said goodbye on Naboo. And again he had no idea what to do.

He almost laughed out loud. He thought he would be far more anxious and nervous and panicky when he realized again he was in love with Padme Amidala, but instead he found himself lying comfortable on a soft bed smiling at his own predicament. He silently chastised himself.

'Oh, Kenobi, look at the mess you've managed to drag yourself into.'

The only reason why he was so calm about it all was the fact that he hadn't received any indication from the Force that this was wrong. Come to think of it, he could only think of the warmth their physical contact always brought on. Clearly it was no matter of body heat, for his hands had been freezing when he had arrived here tonight. No, it had been the Force, he was sure of it. Even though she was not Force sensitive he was sure of it. And if that was true, then how could he not see this as a positive sign?

With a small groan he rolled unto his back again and he focused on his breathing. Quickly he entered a light phase of meditation and soon sleep found him. He would think about it all again tomorrow.

- ∞ -