A/N: okay so MAJOR fluffy scene in this chapter…sorry if Craig and Ellie seem a lot out of character…its hard trying to get them to like one another…and admit it since I haven't seen it like..In degrassi...neway I hope it's not too bad and please no flaming reviews…Oh yea, and this is a LONG chapter..just so you're warned...its not boring tho...at least i don't think it is.

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. Read the credits at the end of the show, that's who owns it…lol

Marco and Jimmy sat in the waiting room of the hospital, the only thing they could do was hope and pray.

"Boys." Said Dr. Rebba.

"Dr is she gonna be okay, what's goin' on?"

"Shh shh calm down. She'll most likely be fine. Only time can tell." Marco sat back down and buried his head in his hands.

"Why would she do this to us!"

Jimmy looked at Marco wanting to block this whole predicament out. "The doctor said she'll be fine. I don't know Marco, we aren't Ellie."

"The doctor said most likely that's not a for sure yes." He said.

"GOD!" Marco screamed as he kicked over a table.

"I'm going in there." Jimmy said as he pushed himself through the door.

Joey and Angie were laughing and playing monopoly in the living room.

"No no no it's my turn!" Angie screamed.

"Auntie Caitlin! Tell him!"

Knock knock knock

"I'll get it." But before Caitlin could even get up to answer it Craig walked in shaking and crying.

"Oh my god sweetie what happened?" Caitlin said as she was the first to embrace him.

"I-I need to go to the hospital but I-""whoa whoa whoa, calm down what's wrong Craig? What are you doing home?" Joey asked confused and curious.

He walked up to Craig and hugged him also trying to calm him down.

"I got to…I can't" Craig muttered as he ran out to the garage.

A few hours later he had stopped crying and just sat in the garage looking through things trying to put the visit to the hospital off and trying to get Ellie off of his mind.

Why was she in the hospital? It had to be bad, because the tears just came.

He wouldn't have cried if he knew in his heart that something bad wasn't wrong.

"Knock knock…can I come in?" Manny stood at the entrance of the door smiling from ear to ear.

"I called your dad to see what was going on with you because you hadn't called me or answered your cell and he told me you were home." She squealed as she ran up to him for a kiss.

He pushed her off.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"It's Ellie."

Manny raised an eyebrow. "So that's why your back, to see that psycho. Gee, I thought you were here for me." She scoffed.

"She is not a psycho! Don't you ever call her that!" he screamed as he threw the pictures he had in his hand across the garage.

"She's the only thing that matters to you, why do you care about her so much? She's nothing she's not hot like me, she doesn't care about you like me so what's wrong!" Manny asked. Still downgrading Ellie, trying to get under Craig's skin.

"ELLIE IS LYING IN A HOSPITAL BED RIGHT NOW MANNY! And all you do is knock her down? You know what…whatever it was we had. It's over. My friends will always come first Manny, and Ellie happens to be one of them. My best friend, actually." He said trying to put on an act.

"Oh best friend? You want to get in her pants, that's all she is…she'd be a nice one nighter!" Manny screamed as she started crying, pushing, and hitting Craig.

He grabbed her arms.

"I'm sorry but I can't deal with this anymore. I can't deal with you anymore." He confessed as he let her go and walked out of the garage.

He stood outside the hospital doors hesitating to walk in; he didn't want to know what had happened he didn't want to hear the horrible story.

He knew it was horrible he could feel it.

He let out a deep breath as he pushed open the entrance doors.

The first person he saw was Marco.

"Marco!" he screamed as he ran down the hall toward him.

"Craig." Marco said as he gave him a quick hug.

Craig sighed; it was so hard for him to speak, so hard for him to breath.

"What…what happened Marco?" He finally asked as barley a whisper.

In his mind he was screaming and he thought he might have been doing the same thing orally.

"She….she mixed drugs with alcohol a whole bottle of presemalvoz, a sleeping pill, and straight vodka. Her dads in critical condition and her mom's drinking again Craig."

The room went black and Craig felt like he was about to die his whole body ached and he felt nauseated and weak.

He couldn't be mad or sad or confused.

He only felt pain and nothing more.

"I-I need to sit." He said quickly.

Marco guided him to a seat as he closed his eyes for a moment.

Then reality set in…

"GOD!" He screamed. As he opened his eyes and tears piled up.

"How could she do this to me?" He screamed asking no one but himself.

"It's my entire fault, if I hadn't left she'd be able to come to me, she'd be able to stay with me until things settled down at home."

"Yeah..." Marco smiled a very weak smile. "She told me she missed you."

Craig looked at Marco sort of shocked.

"She-She told you...I mean said that to you?" He asked sort of curious. "Yea" Marco replied.

"God!" He screamed once more as he banged the back of his head against the wall about 1, 0000 times.

"Why Ellie…" He said out loud as he sobbed.

"Why did you do this to me?"

Craig was the first to go see her when the doctors Ok'd people visiting her.

He grabbed her hand and rubbed it gently.

"Why didn't you call me? Or tell me that day we talked?" He asked.

Of course, Ellie didn't respond but he kept talking to her as if she could hear everything he said.

"Manny and I, we never really were anything. So I ended the start of it. We just- it wasn't right. She wanted me to put her before you and I refused. God, Ellie…." He mumbled.

He pulled the chair closer to her bed and ran his fingers through her strawberry blonde hair.

"When you get out of here, I'm gonna help you practice the drums, I need you with me. Hopefully the guys will come with me. I gotta go. I'll be seeing you." He whispered as he kissed her forehead.

With that, he left the hospital.

Three weeks later

Craig decided to stay in Toronto for a while; at least until he knew Ellie was okay.

He sat at home most days, thinking of how he was gonna tell Ellie he cared about her.

Or if maybe he should throw some type of party in her honor. "No Ellie won't like that it's not a birthday party; she just got out of the hospital. How stupid are you Manning?" He told himself.

He sat in his garage going through old photo albums and reading old notes.

Most from Ellie and Marco. A couple from Jimmy and tons from Ashley before she left for London.

"Cleaning house I see." Craig turned around; Ellie was standing in the doorway looking better than ever.

"Hey! Umm why didn't anyone tell me you were out of the hospital?" He asked trying to keep his cool.

She walked toward him and sat down on the matted old chair next to him. "I wanted to surprise you." She smiled Craig was pissed; he wondered why she was so calm about the whole suicide thing.

She had just spent 3 and a half weeks in intensive care and everything was peachy?

"Ellie- stop." He said a bit irritated.

"Stop what?" she asked sort of confused.

"Stop pretending like nothing happened ok; you just got out of the hospital! You-you almost died and you're so happy!" He started pacing back and fourth around the garage almost ready to rip his hair out.

"It's fine Craig. I'm fine."

"Ellie you're far from fine! You mixed pills with alcohol!"

"WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM ME CRAIG!" She asked as tears formed on the rims of her eyes.

"I-I tried okay. I lost everything, I lost Sean and I-"

"Sean is a lost cause Ellie, he left you again, just like I told you he would, why can't you just move on?" Craig shouted trying to prove a point.

Ellie had broke, and Craig had broken her.

Tears finally broke free and creped down her cheeks onto her fine pink lips.

"I have nothing to move on to! Who cares about me? Who cares if I live who cares if I die? I don't!" Craig got in Ellie's face.

"I do Ellie, ok me! I care about you more than you'll ever know." He admitted as he shook his head in a disappointed manner.

He turned so his back was facing Ellie, he couldn't even look at her.

"Then why did you choose Manny?" Ellie asked her voice choking up.

"I didn't. But I might as well have." Craig said in a light tone.

"I'm an idiot I guess."

"Yeah, well that doesn't help Craig, god! I cared about you so much that I let you go, I-I tried to put up with Manny for you because I knew you cared about her as much as it hurt me I was only your friend. I wanted you to do what you've always wanted to do as much as it hurt me to say goodbye I did, because I had to." Craig turned around quickly grabbing Ellie by the shoulders.

"I wanted you to come with me." He said as he looked into her beautiful green eyes.

Ellie turned away.

"No Ellie look me in the eyes."

"I can't." she whispered as she started to cry once more.

Craig gently lifted her chin and forced her to look at him.

"I care about you." He said gently.

Ellie's bottom lip quivered.

"I can't." she muttered softly but loud enough for Craig to hear her.

"Why not?" He asked sadly.

"Because, I'll just get hurt again."

"No…" Craig said as he placed his hands on her cheeks and out lined her lips with his thumbs.

"I would never hurt you." He said sweet enough to make Ellie weak in the knees, as sweet as it was she still couldn't believe it.

"That's what Sean said, twice...and he left me alone both times. I-I figured I'd help you get where you wanted to go before it came unexpectedly and hurt me more than it could've if I convinced you."

"El, I'm not Sean." Ellie's eyes wandered to the floor once again.

Craig's hands felt so amazing, his thumbs caressing her lips and gently drying the tears that sat on them, the warmth of his palms.

"Ellie, look at me." He said once again as he tilted her chin up.

"I'm not Sean." He smiled.

"I know. But some things aren't meant to happen they just do, and I'm not taking the chance of trusting someone and falling in love and getting hurt all over again."

Ellie kissed Craig's thumb that was placed on her lips, she removed his hands and left the garage.