Thank you so much to all the lovely reviewers. I try to respond to all reviews, so I apologize if any have slipped through the cracks. I asked for double reviews after last chapter and you came through! So now this means I know I must post a minimum of 5000-word chapters, yes?

To the Guests: JessL- thanks for reviewing after each chapter you liked and NPC – I am too 😉.

An admission: I didn't expect it to take quite so long to get to Hermione's next mission, so I apologize for that, but I like where we've gotten in the meantime, so let's not get too upset. This fic may be longer than I anticipated. Don't know how long that will end up, but basically, the story hasn't even gotten started yet.

As for the content of this chapter: I do not hold to Judaism or Catholicism, I merely thought this would be an interesting tie-in to the background of the characters. Also, Jane Eyre is one of my favorites and I see some similarities in the main characters in that story to the ones here.

Please review and let me know what you think!

Chapter 11

Happy Christmas, Hermione!

Hermione lay in bed that night in a fugue-like state. Somehow, she had made her way up to Gryffindor tower and quietly into the girls' dormitory without a sound, but now she found herself feverish and giddy. She was far too mature to squeal with delight and sigh 'he likes me back' over and over again, but she was hard pressed to stop herself from doing it internally. Besides, she was a woman now, not a girl, so her thoughts were more along the vein of 'he wants me too'.

She lay puzzling over his words as well, knowing she had to make sense of what Severus was asking for in order to get what she wanted. Truly, she wanted his sexual touch, but she would content herself with girlish fantasies of romance like holding hands and chaste kisses if need be. She was sure that even minimal contact with Severus Snape would quench some of this thirst. He had only caressed her hair and neck and that had left her weak-kneed and close to orgasm.

Determined not to immediately touch herself in wanton lust, she tried to make sense of his words.

"…I need more. I require explanation…"

"…your intentions behind them…"

"…When you are able to answer my questions- all of my questions, without hesitation… come to me…Hermione."

Well…Dragon Shite.

She couldn't answer all of his questions now, could she? He wasn't supposed to know about the Time-Turning to the future. She couldn't tell him about his near death in the Shrieking Shack… who could hear about that and still knowingly walk into it?

Hermione sighed, lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. She was too much of a know-it-all to leave this be, and her unfulfilled lust was quickly dissipating.

There was something to do with the mission, though, she thought, frowning to herself. He was sure to ask first if I'd gotten my other assignment, if I'd gone back in time yet.

Wait!

It was clicking into place now. Yes, this is why he needed explanation, why he needed to know her intentions. He must have mistakenly thought someone had put her up to the seduction to get information out of him for some damn Order mission. Severus had been assuming she had been given some operation to undermine him or had taken it upon herself to do so.

Hermione groaned and put her hand over her face. This is why he was so quick to disbelieve her desire! Of course, this man who had been a bloody spy for so long couldn't trust that she actually wanted him. Perhaps he'd been seduced in the past and tricked before, who knows?

Hermione bit her lip and tried to keep herself from jumping out of bed in nervous excitement. It was too early in the morning to pace the room in thoughtful strategy.

So, he wants assurances I've been given no other dangerous missions, that's fine!

No… he also wants you to be completely honest about what you have done and what you do already know.

God, the man doesn't ask for much, does he? 'I like you and maybe we should kiss, but let's begin with a background check and a perusal through your darkest personal secrets. Just to be safe, let's exchange intelligence to ensure we are both fully apprised of all possible scenarios in the coming war.'

Damn, I can even imagine him saying some of that.

Hermione had strangely moved far past being frightened of the forbidden nature of a relationship with Severus Snape. His being so much older had never really bothered her for her own sake, though she did occasionally worry about keeping up with his intellect and the maturity that age surely brought. His being her professor did worry her a lot more, simply because she was always horrified at the possibility of being expelled; however, the fact that she had seen the future and been told she would not be back next year for the sake of the war did mollify these fears somewhat. It was only a matter of not being caught for the remainder of this school year, which was already half over.

Examining the situation further, Hermione trusted Severus to protect their relationship if need be, and to protect her reputation should it come to it. Just this realization made her heart speed up and clench tightly in a delicious type of pain.

I trust Severus. I trust him.

Hermione tried not to ponder too much on why Severus would be willing to risk himself either as a teacher or a spy by getting involved with her. She had already done so numerous times over the last two months as a way to keep her feelings in check. Now that her affection was allowed to flourish, why dampen it with doubts or hinderances?

When dawn broke quietly across the horizon and creeped in through the windows, Hermione had made her decision about next steps.

First, she would meet with Professor Dumbledore and get him to agree to the second mission she was supposed to be coercing him into. What with classes, fighting with Ron, students being possessed, and falling in love with her Defense Professor, she hadn't had time to blackmail the headmaster into an Order mission her future-self had told her about.

Second, well… today the Hogwarts Express left to bring students home for the Winter Holidays. As much as she wanted to stay over break and seduce her professor, she really should go home to see her parents.

After finally falling asleep for an hour or two, Hermione dressed for the day and made sure a small bag was packed with what she needed for home. Crookshanks could not be convinced to follow her into his carrier. He made it quite clear that with the spacious grounds and easy access to the kitchens, he would be pampered far more at Hogwarts than at her home. She ended up shrugging and relenting, figuring him being a half-kneazle made him able to take care of himself more than a regular cat would. Her familiar taken care of, she dressed in comfortable jeans and a jumper under her robes and made her way down to the Gryffindor Common Room.

Harry and Ron were in the Common Room, up unusually early for them. Harry had told her a few days ago that he would be going to the Burrow for Christmas with the Weasleys. Hermione waited, rather graciously she thought, for an apology from Ron or at least some sign of reconciliation.

Ron hadn't truly spoken to her in almost a month and a half. The incident with the birds after the Quidditch match had left him petulant and with some long scratches on his hands and arms. He had not forgotten this quickly and had himself taken every opportunity to flaunt his closeness with Lavender in front of her. Hermione had still not forgotten Ron's mean imitations of her, jumping out of his seat and waving his hand frantically when Professor Flitwick had his back turned in Charms class.

Harry gave her a quick hug and wished her an early 'Happy Christmas', but Ron merely scowled, apparently still upset about the lack of invite to the party the night before and her choice of escort.

Hermione returned Ron's scowl with narrowed eyes, a quirk of her eyebrow, and a haughty smirk of her own. It was reminiscent, in her head, of how Severus would have gloated in the situation. She was determined to ignore him later on the Express home.

After stopping at the library to check out a few books over the break, Hermione grabbed a banana and a piece of toast for a quick bite to eat. She snuck up to the Headmaster's office, hoping to speak to him about the mission before leaving for break. As she walked quickly towards the statue of the gargoyle, she became distracted by the idea of sending Severus Snape a Christmas present and just what would be… appropriate.

She was startled out of her thoughts when she collided with a taller figure.

"Oh, so sorry, I wasn't watching where…" She trailed off when she saw who it was.

"It's fine." Draco Malfoy bit back stiffly. This of all things, surprised Hermione. It was a mild response from Malfoy if she ever heard one.

"You going to see the Headmaster, Granger?" He nodded towards the direction she had been heading. "He's not there, I've just checked." He sounded like he was deliberately trying to keep his tone light, but there was an air of slyness to it. "You have business with him?"

Hermione flushed, remembering Harry's suspicions. "Of course," she replied smoothly. "I'm a shoo-in for Head Girl next year, don't you know? I meet with him frequently."

There, she thought. That should give me an excuse if Malfoy goes sniffing around and sees me meeting with Dumbledore about any Order business.

Malfoy sneered characteristically and gave her a jerked nod before sweeping away. She recognized the motion as one Severus used regularly, and she wondered if it was a Slytherin thing.

Hermione's time at home was well spent. She shopped in Muggle stores and at Diagon Alley for presents for her friends, and even got a perfectly platonic-sounding (in case anyone asked) present for Professor Snape, suggestion of her Dad. Her dad had been excited to recommend science fiction books for Severus (only knowing him as "a friend"), but as she wasn't quite sure what he had already read or not, she settled on a nicely bound, first-edition copy of Edgar Rice Burrough's Princess of Mars. The presents were sent on early via rent-an-owl in Diagon Alley so she wouldn't have to worry about owl correspondence later. She had spotted a strategy book for Ron that even included strategic ways to interact with others in daily life (hint hint, apologise!) but she decided not to send him a present just yet; he'd think he was forgiven without having to make amends, which she didn't want to reinforce. She purchased the book, just in case, but opted to keep it with her until friendship was restored.

Once the Christmas shopping was taken care of, Hermione enjoyed quiet evenings at home with her parents. Over the week before Christmas, her mum taught her some Italian phrases she had learned, as she had been studying the language to help with her genealogy research. Hermione found the language very beautiful, and she ended up studying a bit further on her own. With her knowledge of Latin both from the primary school she attended and spellcasting at Hogwarts, Italian pronunciation came easily to her.

Hermione also read the books she had gotten from the library and made an extension charm on a small, purple beaded bag she found in her closet. The beaded bag easily fit all the items she had brought from Hogwarts and was much easier to carry, so she transferred them over. Thankfully, the lack of the trace on her magic should ensure the extension charm would remain undetectable by the Ministry. She was glad that she was 17 and no longer had to worry about the restriction of not doing magic outside of school, though she suspected she might have been 17 a few months earlier than expected due to the Time-Turner usage. At any rate, she was able to practice much of her charms work, and she even discovered how to make a freezing charm permanent, which she attempted on a box in her room she could use like a cooler.

Once Christmas Eve came and the holiday supper had been eaten, Hermione and her parents settled down in front of a crackling fire as snow fell softly outside in feather-like flakes. The Grangers were avid readers, and they each had a book in front of them. John was reading something by Aristotle, the family having an affinity for Greek philosophers as well as Greek names; Helen was continuing with her Italian lessons, seemingly having forgotten about her genealogy search and attempting to become as Italian as her ancestors; Hermione was reading a quantum science book she had stumbled upon that had some theoretical conjectures about what time travel could be like and its potential ramifications. Why not? She figured.

The evening was quite cozy and relaxed in an all-too-perfect way, so it was bound to be interrupted.

Hermione started as she heard a scraping knock at the door. Furrowing her brow, she got up to answer the door only to find a bird perched on the porch rail.

She flushed with delight as she recognized the black eagle, and gently stroked its head before taking the package from its claws. It took off immediately, and she turned to go back in and shut the door when she heard a piercing cry that made her look back up.

It appeared the eagle had nearly collided with another bird, heading towards her house as the eagle flew away. The black eagle let out a cry and snapped at the other with its beak as the other seamlessly changed direction mid-flight to dodge the attack. The moment passed quickly, and the black eagle was gone. Hermione waited on her porch for the other bird to land.

This bird was as large as an owl, with its outer feathers a stark white and some brown spotting in the underwings. It was no wonder the eagle nearly flew into it in the falling snow, for the white bird must have blended in seamlessly to the sky.

Again, not an owl? Hermione thought, wondering at the new creatures that were delivering items to her. She had seen owls act exclusively as the magical delivery animals for years and now there were two birds of prey delivering to her, and seemingly rare ones at that. She had already researched Severus' black eagle and knew it to be native to Southeast Asia, not Britain.

Cautiously, she reached out and took the other package from the white bird. Just as quickly as the eagle had, the white hunter flew away into the snowy night sky.

Hermione came in and shut the door, shivering now after having been on the step too long. She was beyond excited to open the first package, which she knew was from Severus, but thought better of it. Her parents were right there, after all, and she should avoid awkward questions. She placed both presents under the Christmas tree and grabbed a throw blanket to snuggle under.

Not half an hour had gone by before the Grangers were interrupted again. Hermione answered the door again, figuring for another late delivery from a friend. She was shocked to find a person standing on the doorstep at all, let alone who it was.

"Oh! P-professor…"

Snape stood there, still ominous in his trademark black robes despite his hair and shoulders quickly being covered with soft snowflakes.

He raised an eyebrow. "May I-"

"Oh, oh of course Professor. I'm sorry. Do come in." She opened the door to let him in, her parents having risen to greet her guest. "Mum, Dad, this is Professor Snape. He's the Potions- well, Defense… um..."

"I currently teach magical defensive combat," he explained smoothly, and without irritation, as Hermione closed the door behind him. "However, I have spent the previous years teaching a magical science that is akin to chemistry."

Her parents nodded politely and smiled, giving their names. Her mother was too polite to ask what he could possibly be doing here on Christmas Eve so far into the evening and she left to make him a cup of tea.

Severus looked anxious, Hermione thought. His hands were twitching at his sides and, while his face held his usual stern expression, his eyes were wide and pupils somewhat dilated. Mr. Granger tried to awkwardly engage in pleasantries, asking Severus about the holidays while Hermione flushed and tried not to openly wring her hands. When Mrs. Granger returned with the tea, however, Severus gave up all pretense and must have steeled himself for the backlash of whatever he was withholding.

"Mr. and Mrs. Granger, I apologize for the intrusion…especially tonight…but it cannot be helped. I regret the matter is quite urgent and must be addressed immediately." Helen and John Granger shared confused, but alerted, looks as Hermione bit her lip and allowed herself now to openly wring her hands.

He turned to Hermione. "Miss Granger," he said quietly. "Have you seen a gyrfalcon this evening?"

"I- yes, I think so. White bird with the brown spots?"

He nodded. "Did it deliver anything?"

She gestured towards the Christmas tree and the presents under it, her brow furrowed in worried confusion. Severus turned to the Christmas tree, pulling out his wand and muttering a few words quietly.

The package from the white falcon had been wrapped in brown paper and red string. Severus levitated the package, turning his head back to her. She nodded, indicating that was indeed the one the gyrfalcon had brought.

"Stand back against the far wall, all of you." He commanded. The three Grangers quickly complied, cowed by his firm tone.

With further mutterings, the package begin to spin slowly in mid-air, the string slowly unwrapping. After the string had fallen to the floor, the bits of brown paper were next. What remained was a scroll tied closed with a ribbon.

Hermione frowned in puzzlement, wondering what could possibly be written on it.

Severus scowled. Another wave of his wand and the scroll begin to glow a yellowish-green.

"It is as I suspected. Do you have a back garden?" Severus was pointed towards the kitchen, where a door led out to the yard. Slowly, he levitated the scroll in front of him as he walked that way, opening the door to the outside by magic so as not to come too near to the floating item. As he exited, Hermione's parents looked at her with dual expressions of horror and confusion.

"Hermione, what is going on?" Her father asked pointedly.

Before she could do more than gape further in frightened uncertainty, a loud bang erupted from the yard. The trio jumped at the noise, already shaky, and Hermione got out her wand and strode over to the kitchen. She was met by Severus entering through the outer door and ushering her back into the sitting room with her parents, the scroll apparently disposed of.

"I will take that tea now, Mrs. Granger," he said. "If I may?"

Helen nodded numbly and motioned for Severus to sit in the armchair across from the sofa, while the three Grangers gathered together on the couch. Her parents appeared stunned, while Hermione's face was grim.

"From your surprise, I can presume that Miss Granger has not… thoroughly apprised you of the events of the previous six months." Severus said quietly, picking up the cup and saucer. "I can stay to finish the tea, during which she can catch you up, but after that we must be going."

"I'm sorry, we?" Hermione's mum no longer wished to adopt the politely affable manner. "It's Christmas Eve! Why should Hermione be going anywhere right now? What was in that parcel?"

Severus looked pointedly at Hermione and merely brought the tea to his lips. I took care of the emergency, he seemed to say. Your turn.

Hermione turned to her parents sitting beside her on the couch.

She took her mum's hand and exhaled slowly before beginning. "Mum, Dad… you told me to let you know when the... when the tide began to turn."

"Hermione," her mother whispered, wide-eyed. "What have you not been saying?"

Out with it, don't mince words, she thought.

"The time has already passed. It will… It will be open war soon, within the year I think. I… I didn't want to worry you, but I knew you wouldn't be happy with my decision. I'm a witch, and I'm part of this world. I'm not going to run and hide away, I'm going to fight for my right to be here." She had explained some of the discrimination of the wizarding world to her parents, who had been proud of their champion of the underdog. She may have downplayed the dangers involved in actually being a Muggle-born, however. It wasn't simply the sneers at her high marks, it was also a desire to have her killed off.

Helen's face crumbled, understanding Hermione's decision. There was no use now in bringing up her youth to protest her decision-making ability, as they had always treated her as so adult. Hermione had grown up far too quickly with the attention given to an only child, one of the reasons she was precocious and knowledgeable beyond her years.

Helen buried her head in her husband's shoulder. John Granger did not look as surprised at Hermione's admission, and he may have suspected this discussion was coming eventually. He rubbed his wife's back soothingly, but did not take his gaze away from the scene. He had a hardened expression, expecting further blows of revelation.

Hermione exhaled deeply again, now turning back to Severus. "The package was… It was a portkey, wasn't it?" Severus inclined his head politely and continued to sip at the tea.

"Someone… was trying to take me somewhere." She told her parents. "A scroll was a good choice; I probably would have been curious enough to try to read it. If I had opened the scroll, the portkey would have been activated when I touched it long enough. I would have been transported somewhere else."

"Kidnapped." Her father barked out.

"Yes," she said. "Professor Snape saved me from that."

"But why you?" Helen cried, turning out of John's embrace. "Surely there are plenty of others who weren't born into that world! You can't be the only potential kidnapping target!"

"Harry is the biggest target there is right now," she said, no longer fumbling over her words. "I'm a known figure, actually…I showed you those ridiculous articles in the paper in fourth year. Due to Rita Skeeter's insinuations, my connection to Harry Potter is known…" She sighed. "It's not altogether unexpected."

This was an explanation they could understand quickly. She had never told them the true nature of her hospitalization at the end of Fifth Year, nor anything about the Department of Mysteries. Hermione had blamed the injury on her own inquisitiveness, mentioning an advanced spell she had researched on her own which had gotten out of hand. After some scolding and promises to be more careful with her research, the incident had been forgotten; she had never revealed her scar.

Hermione had kept her parents in the dark about the dangers over the years, hoping to spare them the worry, but she wasn't sure that had been the correct choice.

"How did you know?" Mr. Granger bit out, holding his wife who was clutching him again and glaring daggers at Severus. "You knew Hermione was in danger. What I want to know is how."

Rather than meet this thinly-veiled accusation with his own ire, Severus kept his calm manner. He lowered his teacup and saucer, placing them on a side table adjacent to the chair. "Yes, Miss Granger." He said quietly, his dark eyes locking on to Hermione's hazel ones. "How indeed."

Fuck.

No! Breathe, don't panic. There has to be a solution. We can't be caught out already! Bloody hell at least can't I have snogged or shagged him properly first?

Why was he sending me a present?

"I… I received your extra credit assignment tonight- that I requested-" she added hurriedly, lest her parents cotton on to Severus being as severe an instructor as he indeed was, "and…your familiar…"

Severus nodded, taking over from there. "Yes, my familiar encountered the gyrfalcon which delivered the portkey to you. Familiars have a way of communicating with their witch or wizard, as I am sure you know, and he related to me that he had seen the gyrfalcon."

"I'm still not following." Said John Granger coldly. Hermione's analytical side did probably come from him. "Your bird saw another bird. Even if your bird could tell you what it saw…you knew from that alone that our daughter was in danger of being kidnapped?"

Severus nodded politely but met Mr. Granger's heated inquiry with the familiar stern gaze that frightened many a student to silence. "Yes. You have hit upon an issue with my arrival at all. I happen to know the owner of the bird in question, but… this warning may not be traced back to me."

Bloody fucking hell. Don't tell me he's fucking blown his cover!

Hermione allowed herself to put her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. If it were only her and Severus, she probably would have lost composure and screamed at him for being such a dumb fucking idiot and putting himself in danger like that.

He can't be here right now warning me! Whose damn bird is it? Voldemort himself?

"Miss Granger," he said calmly, startling Hermione out of her thoughts. "Any suggestions?" She lifted her head up to look at him incredulously.

Severus sat back in the chair and folded his right leg over his left to wait for her answer in such a casual manner that it was almost laughable.

He's come here on Christmas Eve, destroyed a portkey in the back yard, potentially blown his cover to save me and now he's letting me dictate the next move? She couldn't decide if it was the most attractive thing he'd ever done or the most frightening.

"Well," Hermione said calmly, trying to keep her heart from pounding too loudly in front of her parents. "If I discovered the portkey myself, I would destroy it and probably alert someone."

"Owl? Floo Network?" Severus asked. Hermione paused and slowly shook her head no. That was quite an oversight, wasn't it. How was she supposed to get word to anyone in an emergency? "…Patronus?" Severus said the word with some imbued meaning that she didn't catch.

"I- I can try."

Yet even Hermione Granger, swot extraordinaire, was having trouble with that spell tonight. She hadn't tried the Patronus in quite a while, ever since last year's D.A. meetings, so she could just be out of practice. She flushed with embarrassment at Severus seeing her make such a failing. The Patronus had already been somewhat of a difficult spell for her, as much of casting felt like a complex equation (incantation plus wand waving pattern equals results) and the Patronus required a layer of not only intent but the correct emotion. The emotion part was harder to account for formulaically, so conjuring the Patronus had always been somewhat difficult for her.s Hermione preferred things nice, tidy, and clearly delineated. This was one reason whatever was happening between her and Severus was driving her mad.

At seeing her inability to conjure a Patronus to relay a message, Severus rose to his feet and begin to slowly walk around the room, pacing in thought.

Hermione took the opportunity to turn to her parents and explain some semblance of what was going on. "Professor Snape is a spy, so he can use the information he has learned to protect others, but it can't be known that he was the one to do it without compromising his position. He could easily get word to someone, yes, but I need to be the one to do it so that it appears that I've done it all without his help."

After hearing this, John Granger was now quite on board with the whole situation. He had always been a James Bond fan, after all, and who doesn't love a good spy story?

"You don't need to get word to anyone if you leave." Severus said quietly and the Grangers turned to look. "You can leave and do it yourself. I can follow. Disillusioned, of course."

"Where? Where would I go?" He simply looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Umm… ok, where would I go… Well, the Burrow's out. I might normally go there, but imagining the circumstances are what they are, then… well, I wouldn't opt for that route."

"No," he agreed, "this is not information which everyone from the Order is privy to. The Burrow is not an option."

"I suppose… I suppose I'd go back to Hogwarts. I think I'd take the Knight Bus."

"And how would you explain your arrival on Christmas Eve, or perhaps Christmas Day, in the middle of the night? How would you get someone to come to the gates of Hogwarts to let you in if you cannot conjure a Patronus?"

"Please," Helen Granger chimed in. "I don't understand why it has to be immediately. At least wait until after Christmas…"

"No, Mum." Hermione said gently, but firmly. "They might come back to see if it worked. I have to leave." She looked up at Severus questioningly. "My parents…"

"Either must vacate or allow me to place wards on the property that last until the term resumes." Hermione frowned and narrowed her eyes at this, and he continued. "Presumably, the perpetrator knows you will be back at Hogwarts for the start of term and will not make another attempt here after that point. Your parents should be safe if they remain within the wards until the start of term."

Hermione nodded in understanding, her curls frizzing out in fear and anxiety and no longer soft and bouncy. She explained the meaning of this to her parents and they agreed they would rather hole up in the house until the start of term rather than leave immediately. Her father helpfully added that they had plenty of portions left over from the meals leading up to the holidays, so they should be fine without any trips to the shops.

Hermione nodded, her parents' safety assured. "But…the rest of it?" She looked up at Severus. "Going to Hogwarts now-"

"I think I have figured out the rest, Miss Granger." Severus said briskly. "Please… gather your things and say your goodbyes. We have delayed long enough as it is." He said this matter-of-factly, as it was not up for discussion, but the whole conversation had seemed very delicately tempered on his part.

Severus was good at making himself part of the scenery and blending into the background. He ensconced himself in some cozy corner of the warm Granger sitting room while Hermione went to grab her beaded bag from upstairs. After returning from her room, she added her presents under the tree to the bag quickly before turning to her parents and tearfully hugging them goodbye. Hermione's mother cried openly and asked her to wear her sapphire necklace as much as possible to help think of them and to write often. Her father gave her a tight hug and mumbled something about baby girl growing up too fast. She wished them a Happy Christmas and apologized for not staying.

Then, quickly and quietly, Severus escorted her outside and apparated her away.

They arrived in another sitting room, this far dirtier and colder than the last. She saw Severus remove his outer travelling cloak and then unbutton his frock coat as well to hang it on the coat hook. She blushed and turned away, already thinking impure thoughts to see him down to his white button-up shirt and trousers.

Severus gestured her upstairs and led her to a bedroom. The room was spacious, with a large bed, a fireplace…

Hermione gasped and turned to him, recognizing the room. "You've brought me to your home."

He stiffened and nodded, not looking at her as he began to ready the room. He lit the fire with his wand and sent a cleaning spell throughout the room, ridding it of accumulated dust. "It seemed the most logical conclusion. As stands, you discovered the portkey and destroyed it, placing wards on your home and remaining inside until your sudden appearance at Hogwarts, which will be done via Floo. No one else knows your parents' home is not connected to the Floo Network, I presume? You could have contacted someone from the Order this way as well."

"Then why am I here…sir?" She said quietly. "Not at Hogwarts?"

"Your sudden appearance on Christmas would cause more questions. I can house you here until the new year, when you can return to Hogwarts, claiming an eagerness to get back to study if you wish. The… the person who sent the portkey will merely think you travelled back early via Floo if they are watching the house."

"I see." She said gently, not wanting to provoke him. "And that person is…?"

"I can't tell you, Granger."

"Why is that? Surely the Headmaster-"

"I will visit Albus shortly to apprise him of the events, but he will probably agree with the course of action."

"I don't understand. I know what I said to my parents, but it doesn't actually make sense to me." Hermione said, puzzled. "The only thing that's happened lately is Katie Bell, but…" she trailed off, noticing Severus' nostrils had flared. She understood his reaction immediately.

"This is related." It wasn't a question. "You know what's been happening and this is related. Oh God."

Hermione felt her knees grow weak and she fell backwards, her legs colliding with the large bed and she propped herself up on it, scooting back to sit on the edge.

"Katie was trying to deliver that necklace to someone in the castle. If I had touched the portkey, they could have gotten me and Imperiused me into bringing something to the castle…either during or after break."

Her eyes grew wide then and she looked up at Severus, shocked. "Unless I was the target of the necklace to begin with?" She whispered.

"No!" He barked sharply, glaring at her. "No, of course not," he corrected, lowering his volume. He sighed exasperatedly. "I suspect that you were to be used as a courier in the same manner as Miss Bell."

"Why haven't you been stopping it?" She cried. "Whoever this is doesn't care about who they hurt along the way! Can't you bring this information to Dumbledore?"

Severus met her eyes. "I have."

"And he's going along with it all? For the long game, is it?" She found herself exhausted and furious all at once. "Are we all to be sacrificial lambs for the Order?" She yelled up at him, shaking. Whether in fear or anger she wasn't sure.

"I would never sacrifice you." He growled. "Has tonight not shown you this? I risked everything in coming to you tonight. Everything."

"Yet you don't trust me!" She leapt up and placed herself directly before him to confront him. "I have to tell you every detail about what I've done for the Order or what my intentions are… or… Gods! Anything you bloody want to know, but you can't be bothered to tell me who just endangered me and my family on Christmas! You can trust me!"

Severus grabbed her arms at the elbows and held her at a maddening distance from him. Close enough to smell him, to want him, but far enough to keep from pressing up against him. He seemed so raw and accessible in his casual state of dress, it hurt more not to touch him.

"I cannot." He hissed in a low tone. "Not…yet."

"Why?" She cried. "I swear to you there is no ulterior motive for me. I'm on no fact-finding mission about you- not by anyone else! Anything I want to know is because I want to know it! I ask these things because I want to help. I want to know what you're going through. I want… I want to know…" She faltered, realizing she had changed what they were talking about.

I want to know you.

I want to know everything about you.

I want to know you completely.

I want you.

She realized belatedly that this had been exactly the knowledge he had been trying to get from her. They each wanted a full disclosure of the other person, their personality, their own secrets and goals. They were at an impasse now, as neither was willing to budge and offer up themself completely first. Hermione had information she refused to give Severus yet, and it appears he had the same reluctance. Not only the information, but even the reasons behind keeping it hidden was undisclosable for the foreseeable future. The two were butting up against each other in a battle of wills: who can most loyally keep the secrets of war, while still ingratiating themself to the other? Hermione was finding herself hard pressed not to just relent and allow herself to be thoroughly interrogated, whatever that would entail.

A low rumble echoed from his chest and he gripped her more tightly to keep her at arms length. His eyes drifted above her head to the far wall behind her. He held himself still for a few moments before speaking. "Witch," he said in a stilted voice, "what are you asking of me?"

She gazed up at him pleadingly, eyes wide.

"You know what I want, Severus." She said quietly.

This was the first time she had said his name aloud to him, projected fantasies notwithstanding. He lowered his face to meet her eyes again.

"Please, Severus." Hermione whispered, looking up at him.

He said nothing, but merely began backing her up slowly towards the bed. Her breath hitched in anticipation as she felt him relax his grip and gently lower her backwards onto the bed.

He lowered his head, bringing his face close to hers, his black hair curtaining her face and hiding them both together.

"I am putting you to bed," he said.

She looked up at him and smiled coyly.

"A bed which is for sleeping." He smirked and chuckled in a low tone.

As he pulled away from her to straighten up, she acted. She jumped up on the bed on her knees and pressed forward against his chest. Startled, he grabbed her with both arms to keep his balance and to keep her from falling forward off the edge of the mattress.

Hermione took her chance and lifted her face to his, pressing her lips against his closed ones. His arms still encircled her, her breasts pressed against his chest. She felt his chest easily against hers through his white shirt, though she bemoaned her own fuzzy Christmas jumper and wished she had removed it earlier.

It was wonderful sensation to press her lips firmly against his. It was only a chaste kiss on the lips, however, and she began to pull away all too soon after not feeling a reaction from him. Just as her lips left his, she looked up into his eyes to see them gazing down at her. Dark, powerful waves crashing against the rocks. She felt his chest contracting deeply with his breathing, as if he were trying to still himself.

"Severus," she breathed.

And with that, he was lost.

He let out a low growl and crashed his mouth back to hers, kissing her fervently. Hermione quickly became lost in the feeling of his lips moving against hers, in a dancelike movement. First quickly, urging a response from her, then slowly, forcing her to push back and speed up the sensuous pushes. He alternated his focus onto each of her lips, sucking and nibbling each, and tasting of red wine and chocolate.

His arms had pulled her to him completely so there was no air between them. Her hands had come up his chest, his firm neck, and settled behind his head, pressing him down into her lips. His hair was soft, rustling through her fingers as she moved them across his scalp, hearing him moan through her lips at the contact. She felt completely drowned in the sensation of him holding her and kissing her.

Severus began to draw away and she whimpered into his departing mouth. Every noise she made further undid his resolve to retreat. Her eyes fluttered open, and she peered up at him through her eyelashes as he returned to her again, her whimper causing a low melodic groan to release from his throat.

He pushed her backward gently onto the bed, climbing atop her as he lay her down on her back. They did not cease kissing and she arched eagerly up into him as he pressed her down, her fingers continuing to dangle and knit themselves in the raven strands that fell around her face.

Her breasts rubbed against his chest, peaking her nipples and sending jolts of pleasure across her body. His hands moved from an innocent position behind her back to a far more precarious one, gripping her hips tightly through her jeans. He fell flush against her as they kissed, speeding up the dance between their lips as they panted and moaned in short breaths.

Hermione felt his hips rock against hers, deliciously pressing his hardness up against the gap between her thighs as she moaned into his mouth. His hands kept their place on her hips, only helping her grind up against his trousers in delectable friction. Every inch of her body tingled and burned simultaneously in heightened anticipation. Severus ground himself up and down, up and down, moving his hips in circles to rub the fabric of his trousers to her jeans, both of them sighing, groaning, and moaning through their kisses.

Hermione reveled in the sensation of his hands holding her to him, while she wriggled back in frantic desire. Up and down, up and down. His pelvis rocked against her, his hard trouser-hidden cock against her similarly hidden, wet lower lips. She knew this feeling well, but coming closer and closer to climax by another's hands was by far more wonderful than any paltry thing she'd ever done to herself before.

She felt she could have wept in lust. Cried out for the missing sensation that was growing closer but still felt so far away. They'd removed no clothing and she was covered in sweat and overheated, but she couldn't bear to move from the current pose. The warmth between her legs grew hotter and wetter and she pressed further up into Severus, never close enough. They ground against each other moaning.

"Oh…" kiss. "Yesss…" suck. "Please…" bite. "Severus!"

Severus groaned and pulled his mouth away from hers, lowering it to her neck. His hands continued to grip her hips tightly but he stilled their movement from helping his hips grind.

"Fuck, Hermione." He hissed into her neck in his low voice, making her whimper in pained pleasure. "I am parched and starving yet you tempt me with a veritable banquet."

Hermione tried to move his hands as she felt him exhale deeply. A hand could grip a breast, pinch a nipple through her sweater, grab her arse and thrust her upward- please, anything, anything.

Severus whispered something she missed in her lust-filled haze and he moved up slowly, her hands falling out of his hair and above her head and framing her face. He knelt above her on the bed and her eyes widened in appreciation at his dark eyes, kiss-puckered lips, and ruffled hair and clothing. He smiled down at her, a genuine smile it seemed, if somewhat heated.

"The sticking charm will wear off after fifteen minutes. Get some sleep." She huffed in wide-eyed surprise and frustrated exasperation, but said nothing else, merely admiring his body as he raised himself up from the bed.

She heard him mutter something else that sounded like "torturer" as he made his way out of the room and closed the door.

The next morning, Christmas Day, Hermione woke late. Yawning and stretching, she padded around the room. Snow had blanketed the houses overnight, making even the dreary streets of the mill town appear as voluntarily participants in the Yuletide cheer. Hermione had fallen asleep in her clothes the night before, so she grabbed her beaded bag and slipped into the hallway, looking for a shower.

Once freshly showered and sweet smelling enough not to be embarrassed, she headed down the stairs. Severus was nowhere to be found, which she found especially strange on Christmas morning, but she decided not to despair and explore a bit. After perusing the kitchen and noting it empty of any real food and finding out that the stairway to the upstairs could be hidden behind a sliding bookshelf, Severus made his appearance through the front door. He entered dressed in muggle clothing, though still his typical black colour, and carrying a number of bags.

Hermione hurried over to help him. One bag was filled with breakfast treats (rolls, scones, and pastries) and another two held some produce items and other grocery essentials for cooking.

"Jewish bakery," he pointed to the first bag, "and Asian market." He gestured to the others. "Both open on Christmas."

She smiled at him and helped put the groceries away in the kitchen before they both began digging into the baked goods. Severus made tea on the stove to go along with them, and the warm liquid helped warm Hermione in the chilly kitchen. They sat at a small table to eat and it felt both casual and intimate.

"I apologize for my tardiness, but I had a few places to be beforehand and then I had to get the food. I trust you slept well?" Severus looked at her appraisingly, raising an eyebrow.

Hermione flushed and nodded, noticing his upturned lips.

Tease, she thought. I could have slept a lot better if we'd finished what we started.

"What other errands did you run?" She asked, trying to change the subject.

"Before the shops, I went to inform Albus of the events of last night. As anticipated, he approves of the plan and suggests you return a few days before the start of term so that your absence on the train is explained by the early arrival." He paused to eat a bite of blueberry scone and sip his tea, before continuing. "And before that I…" he hesitated, as if debating whether to say more, before shrugging and relenting. "Before that I went to church. It is Christmas, after all." He ate another bite of scone as Hermione looked at him in bewilderment.

"I didn't take you for particularly religious."

"I am not particularly, but I am… exploring options." She continued to look at him in puzzled disbelief and he scowled and grumbled at her. "Well, what is it? You think I've taken leave of my senses? You do celebrate Christmas yourself with family, do you not?"

"Yes, well… it's more a cultural thing with my family, I think, as we've never really discussed theism as being important. I just thought… well, I thought magic precluded any religious belief, especially Christianity."

Severus snorted. "The magical community is a community like any other. I have no idea of the statistical break up of religious believers versus non-believers and how it compares to muggle communities, but there are, and have always been, witches and wizards of all faiths. After all, haven't you noticed the hospital is named St. Mungo, after the patron saint of the founding healer? There are probably more practitioners of Wicca and Paganism in the wizarding world than there are in the muggle world, but that is because those faiths have been far more open about their magical history. The other world religions certainly do have magical histories, but they are not widely known outside of the wizarding world."

"That's fascinating! Why have I never heard anything about it before?" She was gobstruck at the wealth of knowledge she had omitted.

"I suspect it is something overlooked in muggleborn integration, as I was taught these things from a young age. It is only in recent generations that there have been so many muggleborns coming into our world, especially as purebloods were worried about maintaining their heritage and lobbied fiercely against muggleborn inclusion. It means that muggleborns were included reluctantly to begin with and there was not a lot of formal planning behind teaching cultural neophytes about the wizarding world. You notice that there is a Muggle Studies class to catch up students who know little about the muggle world, but you have no similar magical history or culture class to help fill in gaps in your own knowledge."

Hermione nodded, frowning. "Yes, it's part of the reason I've insisted on reading so much. Well, obviously I enjoy it as well, but I've always felt two or three steps behind everyone else and working to catch up. I've always felt I needed to prove I belonged here."

Severus nodded seriously. "Ask your peers if you wish. The ones raised in the wizarding world may know some theomagical traditions. That of sponsoring or Godparenting is prevalent, for one."

"Wait… so the fact that Sirius Black is- was- Harry's Godfather…?"

"What, you think it was just a title? I believe they did the baptism in a good old Church of England parish, but I'm not sure whether it was a muggle or magical churchgoing community. If muggle, the theomagical part of the ceremony can always be private."

Hermione couldn't believe she had missed so much of magical history. Religious history hadn't really been covered in History of Magic, only religion from the muggle and anti-magic perspective. This might have been to avoid deference to any one faith.

What did this all say about Severus, though?

"Is that…" Hermione hesitated, wondering how much she was allowed to pry. "Is that how you knew about the bakery? Are you Jewish?"

Severus stiffened visibly, pursing his lips. He was quiet for a moment before answering. "Religiously, no. It is in my blood, however, so it depends how you define it." He looked down into his tea. "My father was a Jew." He sneered and muttered in a self-deprecating way, "I thought the nose made it obvious."

She ignored the quip about his nose. She loved it; she would convince him of its beauty later. "Oh, so you learned this kind of thing from-"

"Absolutely not. My father was a muggle who abhorred magic. He didn't much care for Judaism either. My mother was more devout than he was, and it wasn't even her faith to begin with." Severus looked up from the teacup and sighed. "My parents had many problems, and they were not a happy couple. They were extremely ill-matched for multiple reasons, one of them being religion. Her mother's family were Italian Catholics for generations, many graduates from l'Accademia."

"L'Accademia?" Hermione recognized the Italian word from her mother's studies. Academy, she knew, but she wanted Severus to speak more Italian words in that low, melodious tone.

He nodded. "L'Accademia degli Stragoni e Fattuchiere; the Italian wizarding school. The whole side of the family was Italian and all practitioners of Benedicaria, a theomagical Catholicism. Her mother, my grandmother, married an Englishman, but at least he was a Catholic wizard, so the family grudgingly accepted. My mother married a muggle Jew who wasn't even religiously practicing, and she was subsequently disowned. It wasn't only the magical differences, but the religious differences that caused her family to cast her out."

Hermione listened, mouth wide. "That's terrible! They disowned her for who she married?"

"They had a point." Severus said grimly. "They went about it the wrong way, perhaps, but they were right that my parents were not a good match."

"Where are they now?"

"Dead and gone." She looked castigated for asking and he waved her off. "Think nothing of it. It was hard to mourn, truthfully. My father was a belligerent drunk and my mother was too quick to self-flagellate, taking his beatings as a punishment for marrying outside the faith. She converted for him, but that did nothing to gain his favour and only to add to her own guilt. She did teach me some about both religions, however, so that is to her credit."

"You had a reaction though, when I asked if you were Jewish." Hermione said quietly, fearing a less than open-minded answer from him.

"I… I have not been asked in a long time… and I was disgusted with what my past response would have been."

He rose then, retrieving a bottle from one of the lower kitchen cabinets. "I apologize, but the conversation seemed to call for it, and it is Christmas."

He poured himself a full teacup of the bottle labeled Barsanuphius Wall's Bourbon Whiskey. He gestured to her, offering it and she shook her head, continuing to sip her tea.

Severus drank a little from the cup before continuing. "In my youth, I was a bit of an anti-Semite. I transferred my hatred for my father and his failings onto hatred for the things he was- muggle and Jewish, among them. I also was quite the teetotaler for a while due to his alcoholism, which probably did me some good when I could have imbibed too much." He smirked a little as he took a sip of his alcohol-filled cup, proving his disavowment for his past beliefs as he drank.

Hermione realized there was much more to Severus and to his past than she could even begin to guess at. Every interaction and conversation peeled back more layers to the man, even some uncomfortable bits she wasn't sure she could fully accept, though she was still more than willing to try and desperate to know more.

This must be a peace offering, of sorts. She thought.

He wasn't telling her the name of her potential kidnapper, something she desperately had wanted to know the night before, but he was telling her about himself. That had to mean something.

"Is that what drew you to Vol-" He glared. "I mean, You-Know-Who? I hadn't heard him spouting anti-Semitic beliefs as well, but I wouldn't be surprised." One homicidal prejudice goes hand in hand with another, she thought.

Severus snorted and took another swig. "Not as such. He promised power, he certainly was anti-Muggle in his policies, but anti-Semitism never came up as far as I am aware. He was ever the opportunist and remains so. In the first war, there were both Jews among his ranks and Jews who fought against him. There was even one reformed Death Eater such as myself, still living in hiding now I believe. She could have rejoined two summers ago as a spy alongside me, but she was stymied by her husband's desertion and later death."

At Hermione's puzzled look, he said, "Madame Karkaroff."

Hermione gaped at him. "Karkaroff was married?"

"His wife didn't come with him from Durmstrang for the Triwizard Tournament. It was she who ran the school in his absence, as I understand. She was probably the sole reason he lasted a year on the run from the Dark Lord."

Severus shook his head, black hair slashing the air around him. "How did we get on this topic? See, there are benefits from abstaining from drink."

"Umm.. I think… Church?"

"Yes, that's right. Church." Severus finished the last of his bourbon whiskey. "I attended church this morning for Christmas Day service. As dissatisfied as I have been thus far with Christianity, I still find myself called to it. My mother had the same problem. She loved Judaism in her own way, but kept feeling called back to the faith of her youth."

He got a wistful look in his eyes. "It was like love for her, you see," he said quietly. "The one loved is not always the one most preferred. Sometimes we are drawn to those most unsuitable for us."

"And…and faith is the same way?"

He nodded. "Just so."

"But why Christianity? I mean…it's so… I haven't known Christianity to be openminded. Rather prejudicial, in fact." She flushed. She caught the irony herself after saying it, because that sounded a rather less than openminded and somewhat prejudicial statement against an entire religion and its adherents.

Severus didn't contradict her, however, and shrugged. "I have not been satisfied thus far, I admit. Yet I keep coming back. There are many theomagical practices I have not examined yet."

"Why do you keep coming back? What are you drawn to?" Hermione asked eagerly, desperately wanting to know and absorb all this man was passionate about.

"Redemption." He said firmly, meeting her eyes. "The idea that forgiveness of sins is possible, no matter how great. That there is a God who can forgive a man such as me… even if I fail to earn the right to it."

Her heart cracked at this. Severus must have mourned and despaired at his own evil deeds often enough and long enough to keep searching for a dogma that would absolve him.

Hermione reached her hand out across the table and took his. "You are not such a bad man, Severus."

"No, Hermione?" He said in his low tone, as he returned her gentle gaze with his steely-eyed one. "You know not what I have done, nor what I continue to do. Nor yet what I have already promised to fulfill."

A heavy silence fell between the two at his words, and the ease of the conversation that had preceded was gone.

Severus rose, taking the plates and teacups off the table and placing them in the sink. Hermione sat watching as he rinsed the dishes the muggle way, setting them to dry in the drying rack. When he turned back to her, he had his cold, unreadable façade in place. Perhaps he had decided he had revealed too much and was done for the day.

"Come," he said. "It is Christmas. I have none of the trappings, but I can make a fire to sit by and we can read."

Hermione smiled up at him. That was Christmas to her.

When they had settled in chairs before the fire in the upstairs bedroom (for the downstairs was dirty and unappealing), Severus remarked on the present she had sent him. He hadn't read it before, he said as he smirked. It wasn't really his preference in the genre of science fiction, as it was less technology-oriented than most novels he read. However, he admitted wryly, it was the first in a series of well-written adventure stories by a classic author, so he was glad to try it.

Hermione grinned back at him before gasping that she should open his present to her. She quickly retrieved it from her beaded bag.

"Another first addition," he murmured, as she opened the paper. "I apologize for my lack of originality. I know you have read it before."

She opened up the paper to find a beautiful, hardback book with gold and silver filigree on the cover and spine. Hermione felt the hum of magic on it and realized the tome was spelled to prevent wear, tear, and damage from age, so it would keep in pristine condition.

"If you wish to be rid of the markings, they may be spelled off."

She finally turned her attention to the title. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.

Hermione looked at Severus, beaming up at him. "I have read it, it's one of my absolute favorites! I don't have such a magnificent copy yet. Thank you so much!" She glowed with pleasure. Severus merely swallowed thickly and inclined his head politely.

They sat by the fire, a cordial distance apart, each reading the new book from the other. After a few minutes of comfortable quiet, Hermione became curious about the "markings" Severus had mentioned. She flipped through the pages of the novel, coming to one of her favourite scenes in which Mr. Rochester and Jane declare their feelings for one another.

Hermione read Rochester's words to Jane:

"I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you-especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapped; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly."

Hermione sighed deeply, restraining herself from clutching the book to her chest in a romantic stupor. She looked back at the page, remembering why she had stopped here. The paragraph had been underlined in spiky black ink and there was writing on the margin of the page.

The cord has snapped; she is gone. I bleed and shall never be whole.

Hermione paused and glanced up at Severus, wondering if he had seen where her eyes had landed.

His eyes had not left his book, but his face held a dark expression, and his hands clenched the cover in a vice-like grip.