Disclaimers: Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon own it all. I'm just doing this for fun, and hopefully entertainment
Reviews: Welcomed and appreciated
It's strange how one can accept the most bizarre circumstances as everyday life. Sarcasm becomes affection, threats become caring, fucking becomes love…well, maybe not love. It becomes…sex. Yes, fucking becomes sex. And sex, sex became her salvation. It's strange, Buffy thought again, how everyday her life, her existence had become.
Hugging her knees to her naked chest, she looked over at the sleeping, motionless form of her…lover? No, her keeper, certainly. Her master, on more than one occasion. Her mate, almost every night. But lover? There was no love between them. Desire, passion, obsession. But no love. No depth of emotion, no softness, no sweet nothings. When he was on top of her, thrusting, thrashing, pulling another orgasm out of her, she would open her eyes, and for a moment, an infinitesimal moment, she could imagine it was her Angel, her lover. And that moment would last until her eyes focused and she looked into his. Her jailor. Her mate. She could almost believe this was something she could want. She could almost believe that it wasn't slowly killing her, pushing down her instincts, ignoring her true personality, her true self. She shrugged, this was her life.
Reaching out her hand, Buffy ran it along the taut, cool stomach of the vampire. Without opening his eyes, he pulled her on top of him.
"So what's going through that mind of yours?" Angelus could feel all the emotions pass through her, but she was still a mystery. In all this time he still couldn't completely read her and it annoyed the hell out of him.
She shrugged, "Nothing really, it's just all so weird you know? The way things turn out. I never thought I'd be sharing your bed. Thought I'd be dead by your hands, maybe. But not having multiple orgasms. Just weird, is all." She moved over his body and straddled him, smiling at his immediate response as she rose to encase him in her heat.
Angelus moaned, hating once again his involuntary reaction to her. "You think you know me so well little girl, but you don't." He flipped her over on her back and pushed back into her. "I could hate you for making me want you as I do. But I think I'll just fuck you instead." She arched into him, keening with pleasure. Angelus growled deep within his chest. "That's my girl."
She smiled again, "Whatever you say." Buffy moaned as she felt her body tighten.
Buffy finished braiding Willow's hair and smiled at her work. "There finished." She turned to Cordelia. "What do you think?"
The dark haired girl shrugged. "Nice. For milking cows. Willow, honestly, don't you ever want to look even a little sexy?" She put down the year old issue of Cosmo magazine she had been reading.
"Oz is totally happy with who I am and so am I." She said defiantly.
Cordelia turned to the slayer. "Buffy, help me out here."
The young blond shrugged. "Willow's fine Cordelia. And she's happy."
Cordelia eyed the other girl, noting her tight leather skirt, low cut tank top and strappy wedges. "And what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Are you happy being Angelus'…girlfriend." Cordy slyly asked.
Buffy lifted her brow to the girl's question. "Don't you mean Angelus' whore?"
Cordelia smiled slightly. "If the label fits…"
"Shut up Cordelia!" Willow snapped. "Do you think this is what she wants? She's doing this for us. All of us. And if you say it's what she deserves or it's what she owes us I will so turn you into a rat!"
"Sorrrieee! A little sensitive aren't we?" She turned back to Buffy. "But I mean, look at you. You're sex personified. Are you happy with this look?"
Buffy took a deep breath. "It's how he wants me to look. I wear what he wants me to wear. I smell like he wants me to smell. I walk like he wants me to walk. I do whatever he wants me to do Cordelia." Her eyes narrowed. "Does that answer your question?"
"Yeah, but do you mind all that much? I mean Buffy, look at him. He's hot! Okay, so soulless, evil demon and all, I know that. But when push comes to shove, when he pushes and shoves, do you mind all that much?"
"Cordelia!" Willow shrieked.
Buffy looked between the two girls, her two friends, and started to laugh. "My god Cordy, even the end of the world can't change you."
"Yeah, and isn't Giles grateful for that little fact. Now, give." Cordelia plopped down on the bed and waited.
Buffy scrunched her eyes and sat next to Cordelia. "I don't know. At first I thought I'd get the punishment I righteously deserved, but…I don't love him, could never love him, his not my Angel, I know this. But when we…you know…" She trailed off.
"Screw?" Cordelia supplied.
"Yeah, screw. I forget everything else. I lose myself in it, in him. And if I look at his face, not into his eyes, but at his face I can almost let myself believe it's him and I don't hate myself as much for feeling the pleasure, the mind boggling pleasure he gives me." A tear escaped to run down her cheek.
"Oh Buffy." Willow put her arms around her best friend and turned to glare at Cordelia. "Are you satisfied?"
Cordelia bit her lip. "I'm sorry Buffy, I…I don't know what I was looking for." Cordelia laid her hand on the slayer's shoulder.
Buffy shook her head and gave a soft snort. "Come on you guys, no big, really. I'm doing okay." She turned to Cordelia and gave her a sly smile. "And the sex is totally hot."