Disclaimer: This story includes excerpts of the movie Star Wars. The characters and idea of Star Wars is property of George Lucas. I'm borrowing the characters as respectfully as possible, simply to entertain myself and anyone willing to read this fanfiction.
AN; My dear readers! I would like to thank you all for having the patience to wait for my story. As I have assured you before, I will finish this story. But in due time! And I have no idea what that is! Truly frustrating for us both. Now without further ado I present you, the crucial talk between Padme and Obi-wan after Geonosis! I tell you, I think it's a good one, especially for us romance lovers. But that's me. Please, let me know what you all think! I know there are people with this story on their favorites list that I haven't heard from before. So please, speak up and be heard! Mu-san

Peace of Heart

Release

"Obi-wan, … tell me what happened…"

For a long moment he looked at her, his face set in the same questioning look he had before she asked him her question. For a second she took his silence as incomprehension, that he didn't know what she was talking about. But the swirling green amidst the blue in his eyes convinced her he most definitely knew what she was talking about. So she kept quiet, letting him mull things over before answering her. If he was going to answer her.

"What do you mean?"

She almost sighed and rolled her eyes at the same time at his reply, knowing that his tactic might have worked if only he hadn't paused for so long. She caught herself just in time and kept looking at him with a straight face. He was trying to stall, this much could be expected. But if she wanted answers she needed to push him. And so she would.

"Tell me what happened in that hangar…," she softly said.

Again she was presented with the slightly impassive face, but this time it didn't fool her at all. For his eyes were a seething mass of emotions, so jumbled that she couldn't begin to unravel them. They were clearly indicating that he was greatly troubled by their fight with Dooku but was bottling it all up inside. When his pause stretched on again she was tempted to say something, ask him more specifically about it, but again refrained herself. Trust was an important thing between them. She trusted him explicitly and knew he trusted her as well. And at this moment, she needed to trust him to come forward and tell her. She could have done that without asking but her heart told her to intervene. It may be trust that prompted her to let him answer in his own time but it was love that made her ask in the first place. She loved him, and couldn't let him carry this additional burden on his already taxed shoulders.

She saw his mouth open for a split second, before closing again and pursing his lips in slight frustration. It was clear he was having a hard time deciding whether he should tell her, as she had imagined. She remained quiet, letting him do it in his own time and manner. But the moment his eyes minutely turned away from hers she felt a surge of importance running through her, immediately prompting her to take action, regardless of her previous statement. Softly squeezing his hand she called out to him, a last plead for him to open up to her.

"Obi-wan…"

His eyes instantly locked onto hers again and this time she could practically see his defences fall. When he started speaking his voice was soft and a bit strained, like too much emotions and memories trying to come out at the same time.

"We…we went on after you…you…—"

"Fell…," she gently added, providing him with the word he didn't want to say.

Obi-wan nodded and continued. "We flew on and got to the hangar. Anakin and I got out, but Dooku's droids shot down the aircraft. The clones did not survive…"

He blinked twice before he went on. "Dooku was in the hangar, just about to leave the planet. We entered the hangar, our lightsabers drawn. It was…almost like I was back…in Theed palace…looking that black and red demon in the eyes. He was the same. Dooku didn't draw his saber, he just looked at us, as if amused."

This time his eyes glazed over a little, indicating he was looking into his memory. This time she didn't need to interrupt, everything was assuring her he was going to continue. Her mind was registering his every word, filing it away and making sense of it, trying to build an accurate picture of the event. And her heart was watching Obi-wan closely, almost scanning his heart and emotions, to see how this affected him.

"Anakin, he advanced slowly on Dooku, telling him how he would pay for all the jedi's lives he had destroyed. If should have seen it then, I should have…"

Obi-wan sighed and his voice took on a strange sound, his words somewhat hushed.

"He charged straight at him. I cried out for him, but he kept on going. And Dooku…he just…threw him aside, like a rag doll. The Force lightning burning his clothes, even his flesh…"

Something inside Padme stirred. Strangely enough it wasn't the sympathy for Anakin she knew she had for him after hearing such a thing. No, it was a scent. A slightly sweet scent that had awoken her, lying on her back on that sand dune. The scent she knew would accompany lightning on a hot day. She was pulled from that surprising thought by Obi-wan's voice.

"He tried to bring me down in the same way, but I was prepared. Master Yoda had taught Qui-gon and me how to resist Force lightning. Never learned to how to absorb it with my bare hands though…"

His voice trailed off a little at then end, raising all sorts of curious questions in her mind. Bare hands? Absorb lightning? What in blazes is he talking about?

"Then we started duelling. He was fast, accurate, good…" His mouth and eyes set in a grin line with his next words. "He taunted me, said I disappointed him and asked if I could do no better. Hmm, made him stagger on his feet a little for that one…"

A rush of pride went through her, her mind conjuring up images of Obi-wan knocking down Dooku a few pegs. Oh yes, that would do nicely.

"But the Darkside was clouding everything. It was trying to blur my senses, obscure my sight. I relied on the Force as much as I could, but…I failed. In a saber lock with him I was too focused on getting the upper hand that I failed to see his ploy. Dooku got passed me and cut my arm, he was too fast… The pain confused me for a split second, and he attacked my leg instantly. Fortunately I hadn't lowered my blade completely and he only managed to cut the flesh instead of taking off my entire leg."

Unless her eyes betrayed her she was certain they both felt quite relieved that wasn't the case.

"Dooku would have killed me if Anakin hadn't saved me."

This time his voice sounded stronger and with a sense of pride. "He held off Dooku and fought him. Even with two blades at once!"

Quickly her mind constructed the possibilities and she came up with the one that she thought had to be the correct one. "You handed it to him?"

His lips moved a fraction of an inch and came close to a smile. "Threw it actually."

She softly smiled in return, but the moment passed and her memory brought forth the image of them both lying on the floor of the hangar. Wounded, and defeated. Her smile faded and she gently squeezed his hand again.

"What happened then?"

His eyes immediately clouded over again and his smile vanished. "Dooku was too good. Anakin did all he could, but couldn't hold out. Dooku…cut off his lower arm and threw him across the room, right next to me." He paused for a second. "I think he was unconscious the moment he hit the floor. His eyes were closed and his skin so white…"

This time she squeezed his hand in sympathy for his apprentice. Though at the time she had not noticed it, on the ride to the medical ship she had definitely seen Anakin's injuries. And her skin still crawled at the mere thought of it.

"If it wasn't for master Yoda we would not have survived."

Her interest piqued again at the mention of the old jedi's name. If there was one thing she was dying to know, it was Yoda's involvement. She knew he was regarded as the leader of the jedi and one of the most powerful of this time. But the thing that had been nagging at the back of her mind was the fact that Dooku had escaped. Escaped while Yoda had been there. So why was it that the most powerful jedi could not prevent Dooku from escaping? What happened after Anakin went down? Another question slipped past her lips.

"Did master Yoda fight with count Dooku?"

Obi-wan's eye held more of a dark blue around the edges, telling her that his emotions were greatly troubling him over something. She tried to pinpoint the emotion that stirred the strongest, but it eluded her.

"Yes. Master Yoda fought off Dooku. All of the jedi know master Yoda, but have not seen him in an actual duel. I have now." He paused for a second. "He saved us both."

And with this last remark he averted his eyes and closed them. Padme had only barely digested his words when he turned away from her but all sort of alarms and warnings went off in her head. Obi-wan would not turn away until everything was said and done. But this could not be all! Both her heart and mind were telling her something vital was missing, the cause of Obi-wan's unwillingness to tell her about their encounter with Dooku. She almost opened her mouth to protest and ask him for more, but his closed eyes and set face made her decide otherwise. He had closed himself off from her. And it hurt her. Her reasonable side told her he needed time to work it out on his own, or at least get some space to try. But her heart ached for him and wanted nothing more than to heal him. For him to turn that down was hurtful.

Quickly shaking off those feelings of hurt pride she focused on everything Obi-wan had told her. There was no sense in feeling hurt! She scolded herself inwardly for such an emotional flawed reasoning. It was selfish of her to think he would immediately confide his most inner secrets to her just because they…well, whatever they had established between them. He was far more upset than she had right to be, and here she was thinking like a stupid little girl with no consideration!

She took a deep breath and realized that the next part of the conversation would have to come from her. But she highly doubted if he would answer more questions. 'No, the easy part is over, Padme. Time to really think and solve this.' She needed to understand what upset Obi-wan so, and she only had his somewhat cryptic and incomplete words to figure it out. The urge to hit him and yell at him rose up for a nanosecond before she pushed those aside as well. No, this needed a sharp mind, piercing through the uncertainty and hit the target dead centre.

Alright, she thought, I can do this. For him. Closing her eyes herself she mentally started making an inventory of what could have caused her love's distress. Slowly she went through the duel as he had described it to her, and analysed every moment of it for anything that Obi-wan would carry with him still. The destruction of the aircraft cost the lives of a few clones which Obi-wan would regret, but knew to be the harsh and true part of battle. Anakin's foolish charge…yes, that still bothered him. But in what way? She knew he wasn't disappointed in Anakin because he had spoken with pride later on. So it wasn't that Anakin let him down. She pushed it aside for the next thing her mind provided for her, Dooku's taunts. But she immediately discarded that as a possible burden. Obi-wan's mind was one of the strongest she knew and would not let an evil man's words influence him so. Slowly and meticulously she went through everything he had told her, but in the end merely reached the conclusion he had done nothing wrong and should not feel so troubled. She still didn't understand everything about Yoda's part in it all, but couldn't figure out how his presence could trouble Obi-wan.

Internally huffing in frustration she noticed she was still holding Obi-wan's lightsaber. For a second time she lifted the weapon and examined it. She was unfamiliar with its design and workings but knew quite well what it was capable of. But try as she might, it remained a deadly weapon to her. And she was never fond of weapons. Oh, they were necessary tools at times, but if it were up to her those times would almost never occur. With a small smile she realized that her disdain for weapons did not alter her perception of the jedi knight lying before her. Obi-wan was not a mindless bloodthirsty brute, using its weapon to bring death. No, he was a warrior she could approve of, one who stood for peace and justice in the galaxy. With a small smile she thought that he probably held this weapon in a totally different regard than she did. 'To him it's part of his life, and didn't the jedi create their own lightsabers? He will have constructed it himself then.' She could imagine him in his younger years, sitting behind a desk with parts all neatly organized, his brow curved in a cute frown as he made his very own lightsaber, the best one out there.

And with that her mind froze. Her eyes unfocused and stared out in the distance. The best lightsaber ever. That was it. To him it's his own creation, a thing of beauty and function. But to her it was a weapon, tied to violence and aggression instead of peace. And that was exactly the mistake she just made. She looked at everything through her own eyes instead of his. She reasoned with her own set of principles instead of his. She loudly cursed herself internally for overlooking such an important step. Of course she didn't see what troubled him, because she thought he had done nothing wrong!

Gripping the lightsaber tightly her mind raced back to her earlier analysis to rethink everything but from Obi-wan's point of view. And slowly, piece by piece things started to make sense and clicked into place. He would have felt remorse for the clone trooper on that transport. He would have felt responsible for Anakin's thoughtless rush, thinking he could have prevented it somehow. Didn't he say something like that? 'I should have seen it, I should have.. Those were his exact words. Oh dear Force, he actually thinks he should have prevented Anakin from charging Dooku!' A little anger flared on his behalf. He should never feel responsible for such things, they're not his fault! How in blazes could he have predicted how Anakin would react!

Immediately her mind began picking up other words in his explanation, pinpointing moments that signalled his mental burdens. 'I relied on the Force as much as I could, but…I failed. He thinks he failed because Dooku defeated him. But he did everything he could! How could he not see that?' And it was then she reminded herself of the fact that Obi-wan, like herself, never felt it was enough. There was always something he could have done better, or more. And he would always feel guilty when he couldn't do exactly that.

The word resonated inside her mind. Guilty. The word spread like wildfire through her memories and suddenly filled every gap she had about this situation. He felt guilty about losing to Dooku, he felt guilty about Anakin getting hurt by Dooku.

'Then how could he—' But her memory already filled in her unfinished question with a particular image from the hangar. A large powercoil, broken and lying next to the fallen jedi. Master Yoda standing over them, checking if they were alright. The powercoil must have been cut during the duels, she reasoned, no possible explanation for it otherwise. And it looked like it had fallen right next to Obi-wan and Anakin. Yet the base of the coil was some feet to the left, and the coil didn't face towards it. So… 'So that would mean the coil was moved aside. And if it was moved aside, it must have fallen down more to the left.' Her eyes went wide with her little spatial discovery. 'Right on top of Anakin and Obi-wan…'

'Who in the name of the Force could have moved such an enormous weight?' She almost laughed out loud when again her memory answered her own question. Master Yoda. Regarded as the most powerful jedi of these times. He would have moved the coil, preventing it from crushing Obi-wan and Anakin. But wouldn't he then have to turn away from his duel with Dooku? And again the situation explained itself. 'Obi-wan said it himself. Yoda fought with Dooku, and he saved them. But saved them from the coil that would have crushed them. And Dooku didn't go after Yoda when he did that. So all that is left is…Dooku fled while Yoda saved Anakin and Obi-wan.'

And yet again the word guilty popped up. Obi-wan felt guilty about Dooku's escape because Master Yoda had to break off his duel to save them, she realized. So that is why he made a strange face when I mentioned Yoda's name when I was sitting by him in the hangar, why he refuses to speak of the end of the duel. He's ashamed of himself! He wrecks himself with guilt because Yoda had to let Dooku go!

Her heart immediately started aching for the man in front of her. She wanted to hold him, cry for him and yell at him at the same time for being so stubborn, noble, self-sacrificing and stupid! Not to mention too damn good for this twisted universe! Her rational side tried to gain control of things again and think of a way to talk to Obi-wan and get him to release his guilt. Guilt he should not carry around at all! She was tempted for a second to go and get Yoda into this, but instinctively knew Obi-wan would retreat further into his shell, ashamed that the great master had to come and rescue him. No, it was up to her to do something about it at the moment. Besides, if not her, then who? Anakin? She internally snorted at that. As if, she thought. Anakin talking to Obi-wan about emotions and handling them. That'll be the day.

'Think Padme, think! You need to let him know he's not at fault here, that he should not feel guilty.'

But as another minutes passed she was still searching for words that would help her. It just wouldn't come. She felt the entire reasonable world slipping through her fingers, and try as she might she could not prevent everything from going dark. A shivers ran down her spine as her body grew a little cold. Her insides tightened and she felt like every bit of control and strength she had was rapidly failing. It was simply too much. A cold rational voice in the back of her mind told her this was the inevitable breakdown after the battle, the aftershock of the adrenaline rush she received in that arena. But her mind wasn't listening anymore, her suppressed emotions were taking over. She had been through a lot herself, almost lost the man she admitted she loved, and was forced to watch as the universe prepared itself for civil war. Swallowing hard as the burning of tears started to assault her eyes she clung to Obi-wan's cloak. It was all too much. She felt like she was drowning and no lifebuoy was present. Nothing to save her. Nothing but Obi-wan. She needed him.

With quickly moistening eyes she looked down at Obi-wan and squeezed his hand more firmly than the times before. He opened his eyes again and looked at her. Faintly she realized her emotions were clearly showing because Obi-wan immediately started hoisting his body up from the bed, a very concerned look in his eyes.

"Padme, what's wrong!"

She tried to speak but now words would come. Her mouth opened but a sob came out. It only reminded how much the situation was spinning out of control and she teared up even more. Obi-wan managed to sit up and reached out with his uninjured right arm and placed his palm on her right upper arm.

"Padme please, say something…"

It was his look of pure concern and love that finally made her break down. "Obi-wan…" His name came out as a whisper, conveying every bit of despair and emotional distress she was feeling. He gently but decidedly guided her out o her chair and to his chest, where she immediately buried her face into his shoulder. He pulled her over to the other side of the bed on his right side and let them fall back unto the bed, holding her close. Their warmth flared instantly and it unleashed her tears. She began crying like she had not done since she the night Obi-wan Force suggestion wore off. Everything seeped out of her, releasing all the stress and bad feelings. She barely registered Obi-wan was softly stroking her hair while she was pulled close against him. For what felt like hours she cried her eyes out, clinging to Obi-wan with all the strength she had left.

Eventually their warmth began pouring into her and instead of starting the tears it stopped them, calming her down. Slowly it filled her with a warm sensation of peace and love, making her feel better than she had in a while. Her whole body was relaxed and at ease. Even the wounds on her back were not protesting so much anymore. She pressed her nose into his neck and closed her eyes, absorbing more of the security Obi-wan's embrace invoked in her. After a long time she reluctantly drew back a little and looked at Obi-wan. He had just opened his eyes and was looking back at her. His eyes were a gentle mix of grey and blue, almost exactly the same that had calmed her so in the arena in the moment before the clone army had showed up. But this time there was more to it. The blue seemed even more intense. She was almost sure it was love, pure and simple, but was suddenly afraid to assume this. They might have admitted to each other, but her certainty of that moment was wavering. His words shook her from her thoughts.

"Better now?"

She smiled a little weary at him and mentally scolded herself for falling to pieces when she should have been there for him! "Yes, thank you," she replied in a soft voice, "I'm sorry Obi-wan. Here I was supposed to help you but instead I turn into a bawling, emotionally driven little girl. I'm sorry."

He smiled softly back at her and her heart fluttered. It was a smile not out of sympathy, or amusement, but true and deep affection!

"Please don't feel sorry about that." He paused for a second before running his right hand over the side of her head and hair once. "Because I'm not," he added in a soft voice.

This time the shiver that went down her spine was one of pure delight. "Obi-wan…" But before her brain caught up with her mouth a few more words came tumbling out. "It's not your fault…"

Instantly she knew he was going to react badly to this. And so he did. His brow furrowed slightly and she could see in his eyes that his previous reluctance had come back. He closed his eyes and laid his head back down. "Padme, please…don't…"

But she couldn't. Not this time. She had given him more space and time than she would have wanted in the first place and this time he was not going to get away with it. For heaven's sake, you're one of the strongest people I know, deal with it, she mentally screamed before taking action. She lifted her body up and swung one of her legs to his left side. Careful not to disturb his wound on his thigh she skirted up his body until she was straddling his lower torso. With her hands she cupped his face and held it tightly. He was going to hear her and not shut her out. Not now!

"Obi-wan, listen to me."

He opened his eyes after a moment, his look a little unsure and drawn back. It only served to drive her determination further.

"It's not your fault," she said, carefully punctuating every word.

His frown deepened but his eyes turned a darker blue, one that was a sign to her his feelings of guilt were rising to the surface instead of staying buried deep in his mind.

"You could not have prevented Anakin from doing what he did, because he is his own person. You could not make Dooku fight fair because he's evil!"

Could have been a trick of the light but she could have sworn she saw a brief smile flit over his face when she said the bit about Dooku. Again bolstered she pushed on, pouring as much of her conviction, affection and concern into her words and eyes.

"You could not convince Yoda to not save you because it was his own decision. For once Obi-wan…let what you did be enough. You did all you could. It's not your fault…"

Lowering her head she brought their lips together, hovering just two inches above his mouth. The intensity between them seemed to double and she slightly tensed in anticipation. The warmth they always experienced was present but seemed to be waiting for something, adding to the feeling of tension. She held his gaze and saw him change as her words finally took hold of him. To seal the deal she whispered her last words again, her breath passing over his lips.

"It's not your fault…"

And with that all reservation and deny in his eyes vanished. Instinctively she knew he was still feeling bad about the outcome of everything, but did not blame himself anymore. Her inside relaxed again as the joy of achieving her goal flowed through her.

In retrospect that moment was their undoing. Well not really their undoing, more like a last admittance. In retrospect it was inevitable it would happen, and the moment was strangely perfect for it.

The moment she relaxed their warmth shot up through her pelvis and legs to her torso, flushing her skin slightly. In a daze her back relaxed as well and let her drop down to Obi-wan. Their chests touched exactly at the same moment as their lips finally met, as if pulled together by magnetism. The warmth now truly exploded inside her as she felt his right hand come up the side of her left thigh to hold her waist and his left just above her right knee, his lips moulding soft against hers. She lessened her hold on his face and slid her hands up into his hair, parting her finger to feel the strands flow through them. Her eyes fluttered closed and her body took over completely.

Technically it wasn't their first kiss, but the goodbye kiss she gave him on Naboo was nothing compared to this! Her mind was in complete overload with the sensation of his lips moving against hers. She took a few short breaths through her nose in the need to keep going but was going truly breathless when, in an unspoken but mutually agreed upon move, their tongues came out and slid sensually over each other. A deep moan from her very core escaped her and her mind simply shut down, unable to make sense of the overwhelming bliss that set her body on fire.

After just a few moments they parted. She was breathing heavily to catch her breath while he looked as relaxed as ever, only slightly out of breath. 'Damn jedi training…although that would mean quite the stamina too…' Getting a grip on the rattling iron cages in her mind she buried her nose into his neck again, afraid that if she kept looking him in the eyes she would never stop kissing him. And as wonderful as that felt—no scratch that, as absolutely fantastic mind shattering overwhelming great that felt, it scared her a little too. With this one kiss they managed to surpass any relationship she had ever had in her life. And considering she was no longer a virgin, that was saying something! Still slightly out of breath she rested against his neck. With a small wicked streak she placed a soft kiss on his skin, just below the point she could see his pulse beating. And with no small amount of satisfaction she felt him shiver. 'Good, not the only one affected then.' Her reasonable side reminded of the passion Obi-wan had poured into their kiss, but her insecure side couldn't take that as an affirmative yet. The only way she could be totally sure was…

Padme lifted her head and looked Obi-wan straight into his eyes. She was surprised to find them alight with love and contentment instead of lust, even though their kiss had been anything but chaste. A moment they looked at each other, both unsure what to do. She tried to gather the courage to ask him if he loved her. For that was the only way to know for sure if everything that had passed between them was true. But she found herself hesitant to ask. It was her insecure side that held her back, scared to let go and face something new and frightening in its intensity. How could they confess their undying love for each other in the face of civil war, with the positions they both held in life?

A soft tendril of warmth coiled around her heart and her mind went strangely quiet. Every lingering doubt and though slowly faded, leaving her only with the certainty that she knew she loved him. And surprisingly without much thought or hesitation the words left her.

"I love you."

His face did not contort into disgust, denial or an amused smile. It stayed passive and calm. But his eyes turned a mixture of blue she had never seen before, one she instantly added to her memory and was sure would never forget for as long as she would live. His hands gently squeezed her thigh and waist.

"And I love you."

No complete elation, or surprise, or shock flooded her system. Only their warmth peacefully flowing through her, filling her completely, suffusing her with the most incredible feeling of calm. She loved him, he loved her. They both admitted it, and both knew it. Closing her eyes she settled back on his chest, nuzzling his neck. Everything else could wait. His right arm came around her lower back and hugged her tightly to him. Within minutes she fell asleep.

- ∞ -