Disclaimer: This story includes excerpts of the movie Star Wars. The characters and idea of Star Wars is property of George Lucas. I'm borrowing the characters as respectfully as possible, simply to entertain myself and anyone willing to read this fanfiction.
AN; I will issue a warning to all Obidala fans, pretty much all of you. Part two might be a sudden prick of a thorn when part one was such a lovely rose. But I believe things in life can go wrong, whether by your hand of someone else's. And people make mistakes, Padme and Obi-wan included. Now just forget this dreary statement for the first part, but remember it when you've read 'Intimacy' completely. Then by all means, curse me into oblivion, but do so when you truly believe the things I write to be incorrect, bad, and misconstrued. I root just as fervently for Obidala, and my mind is already thinking ahead trying to find a happy end for them. In one way or another. Now, hopefully not put off, read, and as always let me know what you think. Mu-san

Peace of Heart

Intimacy part 2

She had led him down a couple of streets from the club, and they had entered a small apartment building. Anakin had barely closed the door behind him when Jazela pressed herself up against him again. Her hands slid up his chest and behind his neck, one hand playing with the short hair at the back of his scalp. He put his normal hand on her waist, and with his mechanical one leaned against the wall behind her.

Jazela pulled him down, to the point where their lips almost brushed. It drove the fire inside higher and higher, but still he tried to hold back. She didn't seem to have such concerns.

"Anakin, from the moment I saw you I was impressed by you…your body, your eyes…"

His metal digits clawed into the badly constructed wall, leaving behind small grooves.

"Anakin, please…"

The small part of him hanging on to the true image of Padme tried to object once more.

"Ani, please…I'm yours…"

These last whispered words did it. All thought fled him to escape the fire raging inside of him. In a quick movement he claimed her lips and pushed her against the wall. In his memory he recalled kissing Padme on Naboo, and he could swear this was just as intoxicating and delicious. She tasted just like he remembered her, and by the Force, he would taste all of her this time. The power of his kiss overwhelmed her at first, but quickly she started returning the same fervor. Her hands started roaming over his neck and chest, making his body scream for more. She was the one to force away first. In a haze Anakin looked at her and she looked more beautiful than ever. Lips full, eyes hazy and sensual, lust in their depths.

"Come"

She pulled on his hand just like she had in the club. And this time he more than willingly followed. Up two stairs, and down the hall. She opened a door to the left and they stepped in a dark apartment. Jazela let go off his hand long enough to turn on a single light, before taking his hand again and leading him in further. He dimly noted it was a small apartment with little furniture. And it became quite clear where she was leading him. In the corner was a broad double bed, with dark red covers that faintly shimmered in the light of the single lamp.

They halted right next to it, and insecurity flared unwanted in him. As if sensing it, or just seeing it on his face, she put her index finger on his lips.

"Shhhh, don't worry, just let me love you…"

Jazela trailed her finger down his chin, before dropping her hands to his waist. All Anakin could do was stand by and watch in anticipation and restrained fire as she slowly unbuckled his belt, and worked his jedi tunic off. The fire inside of him almost burst out when she undid his pants, but she stopped there. She trailed her hands over his abdomen and chest, leaving goose bumps in their wake, and squeezed his pectoral muscles softly.

"Take off your boots and pants," she whispered in a very seductive voice.

She took three steps back and watched as he quickly pulled off his boots. Anakin threw his pants off in a near violent move, eager to move forward. But she wasn't done yet. With her index finger she indicated the bed.

"Sit"

Part of him screamed for control of the situation, of her, but he reigned it in. She would come to him, he knew it. He watched her as she moved her hands over her body in a similar way as she had done dancing. Fastenings came undone, and her clothes came off. The dim light cast a glow over her fair skin, the other side of her now naked body still in shadows. This partial revealment made her mysterious, a mystery only for him to solve. In a slow and seductive pace she walked over to him. With her hands on his shoulders she pushed him back a little, making him shuffle back unto the bed. Then she placed her knees on the bed next to his thighs and sat in his lap. The flames inside raged and demanded satisfaction. In an unspoken understanding she kissed him hard before whispering against his lips.

"Take me"

After that it all happened in a heated daze for him. He kissed her where he could and wanted, touched and groped when he wanted. It barely reached his mind that she steered his actions and led him in the act, but right now he couldn't care less. She was his to take, and he took her. He let the sensations flow through him and fuel his desire even more. A sheen of sweat covered them both, their movements growing frantic and feral. In the searing heat of his mind all reservations fall away and she was his. His Padme.

With a strangled cry torn from his lips he shuddered as his climax swept over him, giving the fire the satisfaction it so desired. His muscles tensed with pleasure, his hands holding her tightly. He returned from his peak, still struggling to take it all in and hold on to the feeling of it all. In that precise moment of time, for a split second, his physical senses dulled and his Force sense surged. But it was not utter bliss the Force showed him. Instead it was like a light had been turned on and for the first time he could see Jazela properly. And the women beneath him suddenly reeked of the Darkside of the Force. She had been in contact with it, and a small part of it resided in her. He could suddenly see it as clear as day. She had been playing him for a fool, luring him here, pretending to be Padme. The Darkside flared dimly in her as she looked back at him. With a quick push he pulled away from her, standing naked next to the bed. Her face showed shock.

"Anakin? What is the matter?"

He pointed his hand at her in accusation. "You! You know the Darkside! Tell me how!"

More shock registered on her face, bordering now on panic. "Anakin, please come back to bed. It's all right—"

"You lie! Tell me, who are you!"

Jazela shuffled back on the bed slowly, her hand reaching behind her. "Anakin, I'm your Padme, I—"

"No! You're not Padme!"

With a burst of fire in his heart Anakin flung out his hand and his lightsaber flew into his awaiting palm. Jazela screamed, turned her body over and grabbed frantically at something on the other end of the bed. In a flash Anakin lept forward and swiped his lightsaber across her bare back. The sharp smell of scorched flesh and cloth reached his nostrils as the blade cut through flesh, bone and bedcover. A second scream died in her throat, her back arching in pain before flopping down, muscles spent and limp. Her hair lay in disarray on the bed covering her face from him, but he knew it would show him some rictus of pain. Her death thickened the very air around him, tinging it with a sickly feel of corruption and beguilement.

For a full minute he stood over her, his insides a jumble of emotions, confusion and anger. Her body lay deadly still, an angry red and black line over her lower back, the flesh blistered and knotted by the heat of his weapon. When he managed to still some of the emotions inside he powered down his lightsaber and knelt on the bed next to her. He reached out with his left mechanical hand and retrieved the item she had been trying to get to. It was a compact comm device. Confusion stirred inside of him as he sat there for ten long minutes, looking at the device. She had the Darkside in her, he had sensed it. But why would she then reach for a comm device? It made little sense, and suddenly his head didn't feel so clear anymore.

Then the comm device chirped. He almost dropped it in shock. For a moment he stared at it, unsure what to do. Something told him this call could very well explain everything to him, so he answered the call, letting the other end speak first. Fortunately he didn't have to wait long, for almost immediately a deep, cultured voice spoke.

"Jazela, report."

The cold feelings of confusion and uncertainty burned hot under the blaze of his anger surfacing again. He recognized this voice, knew whom it belonged to. And it instantly confirmed all he had sensed.

"Dooku," he said, his anger seeping into the timbre of his voice.

There was a small pause, before the elder jedi spoke. "Skywalker" In his voice there was surprise. "Well, this is surprising…"

Any lingering feeling of doubt was immolated by the blazing hatred he felt at the appearance of the former jedi.

"I didn't think you would ever sink so low to be able to find my precious Jazela. Tell me, young Skywalker, was she pleasing to you?"

"You disgusting old man, I should have known your taint was over her."

The sneer of the older man was evident in his voice. "And how close did you have to get to see it? No, foolish boy, I don't think you were ever able to see her for what she truly was."

Anakin jumped off the bed, his hand shaking minutely. "I see your intentions clearly now. She pretended to be someone she's not. She paid for that mistake, and so will you. I swear, the next time we meet Dooku I will kill you."

The count's voice now turned to malice instead of scorn. "And I will enjoy cutting off more than your hand. Next time we meet, young Skywalker, I will not be so lenient again."

Silence followed his words, the connection broken off by Dooku. The moment having come to an end Anakin flung the comm link with all his might across the apartment. He stood for a few moments to catch his breath and calm the storm inside. When it did he sat down on the bed, his back to the lifeless body of Jazela. He placed his lightsaber on top of the bed and collected his clothes. After pulling everything back on he stood up, putting his lightsaber back onto his belt.

He turned his head and took a look back at Jazela. Pity and anger boiled through him in equal measures. It was clear he couldn't leave her like this, but the fact that their 'mission' wasn't an official one meant nobody would know of this. He pulled his own comm device from his belt. There was only one way this could be dealt with without attracting attention it did not need. His thumb activated his comm, and a sleepy voice on the other end answered him.

"Yes?"

Anakin paused for a split second, before steeling his resolve. "I need to speak to the chancellor."

- ∞ -

He ignored the sounds of the comm system for a while, creating the illusion he was sleeping rather than sitting here in the dark waiting for news. These days the anger slowly boiling in his veins kept him up, careful to make sure his plans were succeeding. Sleep was a luxury he would indulge in again when the Republic had fallen and a new empire was established. An empire under his rule.

After the tenth ring he finally answered the call, making his voice a little sluggish to perfect the illusion of sleep.

"What is it?"

"Chancellor, my apologies for the hour. But jedi Skywalker called, and you said we should notify you immediately if he would."

Palpatine smiles maliciously in the dark. He had hoped for it to be soon, but the boy had outdone every expectation it seemed.

"Tell him to meet me here, I shall see him in half an hour."

"Yes, sir."

He disconnected the link and immediately a dark chuckle rose in his throat. The Darkside of the Force flowed through him, bringing the ashen taste of death with it. Oh my boy, he thought, how you continue to serve me well. You bring yourself closer and closer to my side, and in the end you will beg me to accept you. His grating, cruel laugh resounded in the dark.

- ∞ -

After the wine they had a small glass of Nubian cognac, followed by a sweet confection he didn't know and a cup of tea. At this point he was so full it felt like he could survive on nothing for the coming three days. It made for a wonderful feeling.

Padme placed her cup in her laps and looked down at it. Which didn't concern him until she didn't speak for a minute and started fidgeting with it slightly.

"Padme?"

She didn't look up and he could see she was biting her lips a little. So she had something to discuss, but didn't know how to broach. Well, easily found out, he thought.

"Just tell me."

When she looked at him shocked and surprised he smiled. It wasn't often she was out of control, and this time it looked…cute. He kept smiling to show her it wasn't something to be afraid to tell him. To make sure she knew he placed his hand on top of hers, stilling her fidgeting with the cup. She smiled a bit embarrassedly about it, and spoke up.

"I'm sorry. I just…want to, no, need to tell you some things about myself that you should know."

"If it's about which side of the bed you have to have, fine, I don't have any preference."

The look in her eyes told him this was no time for joking remarks. He squeezed her hands gently. "I'm sorry, please, go on."

She looked down at their joined hands for a second, before looking back up again. "I've been in love twice before."

It suddenly clicked in his mind why she was so unsure how to discuss this. And he suddenly felt unsure himself to tell her about his previous experiences.

"Obi-wan? Do you want to hear this, or should we leave it another time?"

"No, no, it's all right. We should talk about this at some point, and now is good. Just…surprised me a little, that's all."

Padme nodded. "That I can understand."

"So, twice you say. Who were they?"

"Well, when I was young it was Paulo. He's the first boy I kissed."

"Boy?"

"We were eleven."

"Ah, right." Obi-wan paused for a second before giving her an inquisitive look. "So how far are we supposed to take this? I mean, I kissed a padawan when I was 18 months old, but I don't think it's all that relevant."

She chuckled softly. "Well no, not that far. Unless you really loved her that is!" she giggled.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'll have you know that then padawan Haldiri was one of the most trusted people in my life at 18 months," he said with a smile of his own.

"Fine, you'll get your turn next then. Now just let me get this off my chest first." With his nod she continued. "So, Paulo. We kissed and fell in love. Young puppy love, didn't last too long. He went to be an artist and I started on my political track, we lost track ever since."

Ever so briefly his mind recollected the plates they had used for dinner and the lovely Nubian image on them. He let it pass and urged her on.

"Well, of course during my time as queen there wasn't any room for romantic love, the schedule simply didn't allow it. Although you can imagine my surprise when you tumbled into my life, especially in a time where I had been expecting only to find misery and pain."

"I believe I jumped down and did not tumble at all."

She half-heartedly swiped his arm. "Jumped, tumbled, entered, stormed in, swooped in, call it whatever you want. Fact is you did when I wasn't expecting anything so good. But after the war finished…"

He hung his head a little at that. Although they had talked about it since, his leaving her behind like that was still bit of a sore point to both of them. She chose to leave it and go on now though.

"After you left, it took me a while to adjust to my life again. Personal life that is, again my life as queen took precedence over everything. After I served my terms I drifted into the beginnings of service of Senator almost immediately, and somehow I had the feeling I was busy filling my life with work so I didn't have to think about a personal life, let alone have one. Mind you, the Nubian Senator at the time was a harsh teacher, and he made me work very hard to prove I could take his position."

Her eyes unfocused and he knew she was exploring her memory on that time.

"But then I found love again. His name was Gabel, aide to one of a Nubian province representative. Like you he had beautiful blue eyes. I had met him in the library one night, we were both working late. He asked me what I was doing, I asked him what he was doing, and before we knew it we sat and talked at that library table until the sun came up."

He smiled. The guy sounded good for her, especially after such a long time of having no personal life in sacrifice to her duty.

"We saw each other off and on for the better part of a year. He… I loved him enough to invite him to stay at night. He was my first."

There wasn't anything he could think of to say to this, so he settled for a gently squeeze of her hands again. She seemed relieved by it though, by the look in her eyes.

"For two months we shared something that I will always hold dear. For two months I was happy to have love, and do my work as well." She sighed. "But again, it was work that prevailed in the end. Not mine this time, but his. He was offered a job off planet, and he couldn't refuse it. He was Nubian born, but ever since he could remember he wanted to see what was beyond the stars. See where life could take him. I could see it was his life's wish, so I let him go. It was good while it lasted, but we both knew it wasn't…it."

She looked away and out the dark windows behind the couch. "I loved him, and it wasn't easy to let him go, but after a while it stopped hurting. Of course, I buried myself in my work, but he became a memory. One that I still carry with me." Padme turned her gaze back to him. "But have us meet now and I will see him as someone from the past, with no role in the present."

Obi-wan nodded his understanding unsmilingly. And understand he did, truly. He knew exactly what it was to love in the moment, and have the world change around you, the love including. And apparently his look of understanding had made Padme curious.

"How about you, Obi-wan? I believe I asked you once before if there were beautiful women dropping themselves at your feet." Her tone was a little teasing.

His smiled returned a bit. "And the answer is still no. Anakin had some female attention on one planet or two, but not me. No my tale goes back a little further than that. It was in my own padawan days that I fell in love."

By the way her eyes widened it wasn't what she expected. He could understand her confusion, seeing as he never gave away anything that would tell of this. But she kept quiet and at a small nod from her he continued.

"Qui-gon had chosen me as his padawan, and we were off to a flying start it seemed. Our bond was unusually strong for a recent bonding, and we understood each other almost instinctively. However when we were sent to aid in the dispute on the planet Melida our bond was sorely tested. The dispute had grown quickly, and under our very eyes it grew to a civil war. Because of my age Qui-gon had asked me to see what the younger generation on the planet thought of the dispute and I went to investigate it. What I found were several groups of youths, readying for war. And I found her."

He felt her hand twitch in his, but ignored it as he believed she didn't want him to know of her thoughts.

"Her name was Janishe. Her eyes were green," he said with a smile, remembering how she had begun her description, "with a stare that could melt durasteel. She was so passionate about the cause that I fell in love with her right then and there, and decided to stand by her and the Young movement. I was so swept up by it that I even defied Qui-gon and quit my position as padawan."

By her gasp he could tell she was very much aware of how grave the matter had been.

"I was ostracized by the jedi Order. At the time I thought I would find my destiny on Melida, now dubbed Melida/Dann because of the two factions, in the struggle and with Janishe." He smiled a little wryly. "Of course, the Force decided differently. Because of my jedi training I soon became somewhat of an envy to members of the Young movement. It created tension and soon the accusations started to fly about my foreign role in their affairs. Things went south between Janishe and me, both still young and the conditions just played on every insecurity and difference we had, until it tore us apart. I fled the planet, leaving behind the rebellious padawan. I crawled back to Qui-gon and the Order on my knees, begging to take me back. It was master Yoda who accepted me back, but it took months for the others to as well. It was Qui-gon who was last to let me in once more. He asked me if true love was worth leaving the jedi Order. Eager to prove myself again I answered negatively. And his reply was that I then would devote my life to the jedi and not think of it again."

He gave her a small pause in order to absorb all the information.

"Remember when you asked me if love would be worth giving it up?"

She nodded, still a bit overwhelmed by it all.

"At that time I wouldn't even think of love anymore. But the moment I met you I found it impossible not to think of it. And now…"

"And now?" she whispered.

"Now I must do something I always hated doing, and say Qui-gon was right. He always believed the rules of the Order to be guidelines, ones that are subjected to the Force. If the Force tells you differently, you do differently, and no rule should ever interfere with that. And for him, that included love. But only of the truest form, one given by the Force." He squeezed her hands. "That is why it took so long for me to recognize what we had between us, why I left you on Naboo after the war. I did not believe it could be true, but once again life seems bent on proving me otherwise."

Padme smiled a little wanly at his words. He frowned slightly as he scrutinized her appearance. She seemed…ill at ease, confused. He was aware of how this conversation hadn't gone the way she probably had planned, if at all planned. And the positive feeling from their dinner and following talk about his conversation with Yoda had vanished. He started to feel bad about telling her so much, for dropping so much on her shoulders.

'Honesty is a virtue, Kenobi, but too much of it can definitely sour any mood.'

He wanted to give her comfort in a way, but most likely she needed time to absorb his tale and work out her feelings on the matter. She didn't have the emotional training like he did, and any feeling of awkwardness he had released into the Force, it seemingly willing to accept it. Time, he decided, is what she needs. And time he would give her.

"I'm sorry Padme, I know this is a lot to accept. I just felt that your honestly deserved mine. I didn't mean to ruin his evening, not when I had such a wonderful time with you."

Padme shook her head a little dazed, still unable to form any words. He disentangled his hands from hers and stood up.

"Perhaps I should go."

This shook her out of her daze almost instantly and she looked up at him with a shocked expression. "Leave, why?"

Obi-wan kept his eyes on her, speaking as clearly as he could. "I didn't mean to drop such a load on you, and I can see it upset you. You need time to adjust to it and I will give you this. Just call me when you want to talk again."

He walked over to the table to collect his cloak when her voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Obi-wan Kenobi, stop right there!"

The anger in her voice made him turn. She definitely shook off her daze, he idly thought as she stood up, and he could almost literally see her hackles were raised. With a few quick steps she was in his face and with her index finger poked him in the chest.

"Now what did I tell you about leaving before we could talk things out! Yes, this isn't what I expected, and yes it threw me for a loop, but I'll be damned if I have to sit here alone and talk to thin air about it. And you shouldn't be saying sorry! You didn't start this line of conversation, I did, so it is my fault. I wanted to tell you about love in my life, how and when, to make sure you understand what I went through. And just because I didn't expect you to have a story of your own, although I didn't really buy your answer on that night on Naboo, doesn't mean we need to part to get through this."

She was a little out of breath, eyes still gleaming with the fire of her statement. To him she looked incredible, but he wasn't if this was the time to say it. So he decided to ask what did constitute her idea of the right way. He kept his voice soft, not wanting to inflame her again.

"Then what?"

Padme let out a shaky sigh, her fire dissipating. And once more she looked unsure, a little fragile.

"I don't know. I… I just wanted to tell you everything, say to you how my love for you is different than anything I have ever felt before." She sighed again and hung her head a little. "Didn't go so well, did it?"

With a wry internal smile he could now see why she had started this, and why she had been unsure how to say it. Force knows he was still getting used to it all himself, and expressing it was as hard for him as it was for her. Maybe even harder, his responsibility and loyalty to the jedi Order commanding him to abandon this feeble human emotion, that he was straying from his duty.

The only things that kept him true to this was the Force. And with that he realized she didn't have such a guide and lifeline, to say it was the right thing to do. It's perhaps even harder for her than for me, he thought. From what he could gather from her story was that she hadn't experienced much love, but had loved fiercely and lost it too. This makes you guard your heart more carefully, the hurt clinging to you longer than it should. Her duty, one she passionately lived up to, was also the source of her personal insecurities. And now she was trying to lay it all bare to him, to overcome such hurt and let love in again.

'Force, I should have accepted her words with more care, not just waltz over them with my story. She asked me to tell it, but it's far more difficult for her to hear it without the Force telling her this is right!'

Obi-wan placed his hands on her upper arms and she lifted her head slightly to look at him through her eyelashes. He adopted the most serious look he had to ensure she got ever word he was about to say, and would never forget it.

"Padme, listen to me. You didn't do anything wrong. Force, you are braver than me by bringing this up! You have the courage to deal with the past and move on, placing your heart in my care." He moved his hands up her shoulders and neck to cup both her cheeks. "And now I will do the same for you. For the longest time I believed that love was a dangerous thing, something that could ruin everything by its instability. A jedi shall not know attachment. Janishe had been an attachment, one that cost me dearly. And in my vow to never waver again in my duty I failed to recognize what I found in you."

Her eyes started glistening again, but he ploughed on, now needing to get it all out and said.

"The Force knew, but stubborn as I am I ignored it. You are not an attachment to me, Padme, and I could never see you as one. You are someone who filled me with laughter, joy, lust, peace and warmth. But most of all a love that is incorruptible, pure like nothing I have ever experienced, and it scared me. Again, the Force had to correct me, and it did. And now I know my feelings for you are right and good."

He stroked his thumb over her cheek to wipe away a small tear, sliding its way over her skin.

"I love you with all my heart, Padme, knowing it is not because I know you love me, but because I want to with every fibre of my being. I have never felt like this, but I'll be damned if I shy away from it any more."

This made the waterworks open and he pressed her to his chest, her face into his shoulder. He could feel her shudders and the fierce grip she took on his tunic with her hands. Wrapping his arms around her he let her release all she needed to, keeping them up and standing strong. The shudders stopped after a while and she looked up at him. Her eyes were a little red from crying, her make-up smudged a little and her mouth pulled tight by emotions. Instantly he wanted to care for her, make her feel at ease again and have her smile. But he knew sometimes tears were better than laughter. And he also knew everything was wanted to say but failed to find the words for.

"Obi-wan…" she said, her voice hoarse and nothing more than a murmur.

"I know."

The smile that formed on her lips was far from joyous and brought with it more tears, but he could see she understood him. He leaned down a little and kissed her forehead. Her watery smile grew a fraction and her hands relaxed a little. When she looked at him again the bleary look in her eyes was replaced with a clear one, showing him she found her peace again.

"Stay?"

Her voice still was hushed, a little hoarse still from her crying. But it conveyed a recovered strength that he couldn't and didn't want to deny. And there was nowhere he would now rather be but by her side.

"Yes"

With a soft nod she started pulling him in the direction of her bedroom. Memories about their night after the assassination attempt drifted back to him, and he marvelled at how things had changed and remained unchanged at the same time. The world around them had changed drastically, and they had too, but he would still vow to protect her forever. Almost in slow motion they took off some clothing, stripping to their underwear. Without a word spoken they slid into the bed and held each other. And like so many times before their connection gave them the warmth that soothed them. Within moments they fell asleep, weary and spent, but utterly at peace.

- ∞ -