Episode 6: This Ugly and Beautiful Country / Bearers of the Sword (continued)

The stage now shifts to Basilan.

Conversation between male (believed to be H. Fujita) and female (believed to be A. Kamigishi) on 292143H August 2005

A: Hello, Hiroyuki.
H: Hello, Ma'am.
A: Are you calling me "Ma'am"? I'm not a teacher!
H: Whoopsies. Sorry, Akari. (pause) Now we'll talk about our escape plan.
A: OK, OK.
H: OK; the enemy may be larger in numbers, but we'll trounce them all.
A: So will we still lead by more than one M., overall?
H: What 1 million are we talking about? But anyway, more or less, we have the advantage. 'Cause I have a brilliant plan.
A: It cannot be less than one M.?
H: I said screw the 1 M.! But we'll try. But as of the other day, 982.
A: What's that 982?
H: The HP of the wall barricading our cell. I simply guessed it.
A: So all we have to do is to destroy the wall and we'll all escape to our freedom?
H: Yup, but we need to be extra careful. It's our first and last chance to do this. Tell this message to all our friends.
A: Ah... OK, OK.
H: See ya.
A: OK. OK.

(end of conversation)

Shiho, who has brainstormed the "Hello Garci"-styled conversation, says convincingly to the rest of the group, "With this 'Real Mother of All Tapes', we'll fool those Abu Sayyaf bastards into believing that this came from Samuel Ong. And Hiroyuki, don't show any signs of protest, OK?"

Hiroyuki answers, "Yeah, yeah. I just used my voice anyway for your lousy tape."

Shiho's vein suddenly pops. "You really haven't changed, Mr. Worst Guy Ever!"

A voice from afar breaks out. "What's that noise down there?"

"Oh no. We musn't blow our cover," Masashi says. "Everyone, all play dead. I'll handle this." Afterwards, he brings out a pair of glasses with a plastic-nose-and-moustache attachment. The rest play dead.

Some seconds later, an Abu Sayyaf member approaches the cell. Masashi says to him, "Sir, my friends died from starvation, and I'm the only survivor left. And because I age quickly, my eyesight became poor and I grew a moustache."

"Oh, really. Because of our recent bouts with the Philippine military, we ran out of rations, so we can't feed you all. We may even cancel your beheading and release you."

"Thank you, sir. And, by the way, would you please listen to this tape?"

"He he he. Sure. This might contain some military secrets. How generous of you."

While greedily holding the tape, the ASG member leaves the cell. And the whole gang ends the pretension.

"N-Nice work, Masashi-chan," Akari commends.

"It was nothing," Masashi reacts. "I learned a lot from the James Bond School of Espionage."

"Is there a school such as that?" Tomoko asks.

"Ah, don't ask such a trivial question," Ayaka butts in. "All we have to do is to move our butts out of this stinking cell!"

"Now you're thinking," Hiroyuki reacts. "Everyone, let's bust out that wall and be free!"

Afterwards, Hiroyuki and co. start to slice and dice the wall of their cell with all their might. Their attacks deal only 1 damage each because of the wall's high physical defense, but after 982 physical attacks, the wall crumbles.

"Whew! We are now free," Akari sighs a breath of relief as the group huddles out of the cell.

"Not so fast, infidels!"

"Who's that party-pooper?" Shiho exclaims.

A man in a kaffiyeh shows up. He is none other than Khadaffy Janjalani, the current leader of the Abu Sayyaf. With him are several ASG members, all heavily armed.

"My plan of beheading you all has been scrapped due to circumstances beyond our reach. But a much more honorable method will guarantee your deaths! In the name of Allah the Merciful, I will sacrifice myself to summon my fallen fellow martyrs! Abu Sabaya and Ghalib Andang, let me offer you 'blood' darker than wine and hotter than burning lava!"

Immediately, he brings out a belt full of explosives, a tin of gasoline, and a lighter. He then lights up the explosives and pours out the gasoline. In a flash, a huge explosion occurs, instantly killing Janjalani and his cohorts.

After fifteen seconds, Kotone trembles. The rest rush towards her.

"Gosh darn it! What's happening to you, Kotone?" Lemmy exclaims.

"Malevolent... spirits... too... powerful..." Kotone blurts out.

Two distinct evil laughs can be heard in the air.

"No shark can eat me!"

"No amputated leg can stop me!"

"Abu Sabaya and Ghalib Andang, alias Commander Robot?" Hiroyuki shouts.

The two spirits say in unison, "Certainly. Even though our physical selves are gone, we are still on our jihad!"

Akari replies, "This is not the jihad that true Muslims are fighting for! You're just after the money to sow more terror!"

"Japanese infidels," Abu Sabaya responds. "Since your government fully supports our mortal enemies, America and Israel, I consider all Japanese people infidels!"

"And because of our similar ideals, we have teamed up with Melficio Victorialuna in exchange for our resurrection," Commander Robot says.

"What a very dirty conspiracy!" Aoi exclaims.

"Praise Allah!" the two spirits declaim. "Your heads will be a great offer to our master!"

Battle 8, commence!
Allies: Anyone from Hiroyuki, Akari, Shiho, Masashi, Serika, Ayaka, Aoi, Kotone, Lemmy, Rio, Tomoko, Serio
Enemies: Abu Sabaya's Spirit (HP: 40,000) and Commander Robot's Spirit (HP: 49,999)
The heroes dish out every attack that they can lash at the enemies. Naturally, the enemies fight back with AK-47's, RPG's, mortars, landmines, and every other types of firearms and explosives that they can get their hands on.
After ten turns...
Abu Sabaya's Spirit and Commander Robot's Spirit: No one can challenge the power of jihad! The death of all infidels is near! Praise Allah to the stars!
And the two team up to perform their deadliest move, entitled "Jaish-e-Muhammad." That move inflicts 50 hits and approximately 10,000 damage to each opponent. As a result, Hiroyuki and co. are instantly KOed.
Battle 8 ended.

"No... ugh..." Hiroyuki languishes in pain.

"We have carried our undertakings in defense of our religion and in response of the order of our God and Prophet. May God's peace and blessing be upon us and our brothers in arms," the two declare.

Afterwards, they both point their Kalashnikovs at the severely-injured party, ready for a string of mercy shots.

Meanwhile...

"No! Mr. Hiroyuki! Ms. Akari! They're in the brink of danger!" Multi screams as she feels the sinister air emanating on the waters surrounding Basilan as the boat that contains her, Hero, and Sandara approaches the island.

Hero shouts at the boat driver, "Hey! Can't this thing go any faster! Our friends' lives depend on us!"

"S-Sorry, sir; this is the maximum speed that this boat can offer," the driver shakingly says.

"We need a miracle! Oh, great spirits, please guide us in our greatest hour of need!" Sandara meditates.

After Sandara finishes her chant, a flash of light suddenly envelopes the boat.

In just a matter of seconds, the boat unexpectedly shows up on the shores of Basilan, roughly a few meters away from where Hiroyuki and co. and the Abu Sayyaf spirits stand.

Multi gasps, then explains to Hero and Sandara, "Look! There they are! And I'm sensing great danger here!"

"What!" Abu Sabaya is startled as he prepares to fire the trigger.

"More infidels to deal with!" Commander Robot reacts.

"The reviled group, Abu Sayyaf. One of the radical Islamic groups that use terror and fear to achieve an Islamic cause," Hero declaims.

"We have learned that you're in cahoots with Melficio Victorialuna because of the shared belief that all Japanese need to be exterminated," Sandara follows.

"Correct. Once we achieve this goal, he promised us that he will revive us in the flesh as well as installing us as Muslim sub-leaders of his transition revolutionary junta," Commander Robot explains.

"This. Is. Ugly!" the three shout in reaction.

"Once again, death to all infidels! Allahu akbar! (God is great!)" the two triumphantly raise their voices while pointing their Kalashnikovs at the trio.

Battle 9, commence!
Allies: Hero, Sandara, Multi
Enemies: Abu Sabaya's Spirit and Commander Robot's Spirit (Their HP's will be carried over from the last fight.)
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to cast Disabling Slash on Abu Sabaya. He deals 1695 damage to him. But Abu Sabaya is not paralyzed!
Abu Sabaya gets a turn. He chooses to attack Hero. Hero takes 780 damage.
Commander Robot uses his crutch to whack Multi. Multi takes 390 damage.
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to attack Abu Sabaya. He deals 5558 damage to him. A critical hit!
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to cast No Dong on Abu Sabaya. She deals 2699 damage to him.
Multi gets a turn. She chooses to cast Fatal Sweeper on all enemies. She deals 1081 damage each to them.
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to cast Disabling Slash on Abu Sabaya. He deals 1525 damage to him. Abu Sabaya is now paralyzed.
Abu Sabaya gets a turn. He chooses to attack Sandara. Sandara takes 700 damage.
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to cast Aja! on herself. Sandara's status points are up by 15.
Multi gets a turn. She chooses to cast Levitation on herself. Multi is now capable of dodging earth-elemental attacks directed at her.
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to cast Take Cover! on Multi. Any attack directed to Multi will be redirected to him only once.
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to cast Aja! on Hero. Hero's status points are up by 15.
Commander Robot casts Pulverize (an earth-elemental spell) on Multi. Multi takes no damage. Damage redirection to Hero therefore does not apply.
Multi gets a turn. She chooses to attack Abu Sabaya. She deals 2418 damage to him.
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to cast Backdraft on Abu Sabaya. He deals 2004 damage to him, but suffers 264 recoil damage.
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to use Pito-Pito Herbal Tea on all allies. All allies' HP's are restored to full.
Abu Sabaya gets a turn. He chooses to cast Revenge of the Sharks on Multi. But because of Hero's action, that attack is redirected to Hero. Hero takes 5 hits and 614 damage in total.
Commander Robot gets a turn. He chooses to cast Dirty Bomb on all allies. Hero and Sandara are now afflicted with Poison and Blind, while Multi is now afflicted with Paralysis.
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to cast First Aid on himself. He recovers 600 HP. All of his status effects are nullified.
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to use Alaxan Gel on Multi. Multi's paralysis effect is nullified.
Multi gets a turn. She chooses to cast Buga-Buga Spears on Abu Sabaya. She deals 5434 damage to him.
Abu Sabaya gets a turn. He chooses to attack Multi. Multi takes 148 damage.
Multi gets a turn. She chooses to attack Abu Sabaya. She deals 2640 damage to him.
Commander Robot gets a turn. He chooses to cast Bin Laden's Message on all enemies. The two enemies' attack power, physical defense, magic power, and magical defense are increased by 50.
Multi gets a turn. She chooses to attack Abu Sabaya. She deals 1077 damage to him.
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to cast No Dong on Abu Sabaya. She deals 9770 damage to him, KOing him.
Abu Sabaya: This is not the end of jihad! Allah will set His judgment on you! (explodes)
Commander Robot: The power of jihad will never fail! Get ready to be sent into the depths of hell!
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to attack Commander Robot. He deals 835 damage to him.
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to attack Commander Robot. She deals 240 and 410 damage to him.
Commander Robot gets a turn. He chooses to attack Sandara. Sandara takes 280 damage.
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to cast No Dong on Commander Robot. She deals 1530 damage to him.
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to attack Commander Robot. He deals 1070 damage to him.
Multi gets a turn. She chooses to attack Commander Robot. She deals 1059 damage to him.
Commander Robot gets a turn. He chooses to cast Distracting Fake Bomb on all allies. But nothing happened!
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to attack Commander Robot. He deals 955 damage to him.
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to cast No Dong on Commander Robot. She deals 765 damage to him.
Commander Robot gets a turn. He chooses to attack Multi. Multi takes 325 damage.
Multi gets a turn. She chooses to attack Commander Robot. She deals 1059 damage to him.
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to attack Commander Robot. She deals 265 and 265 damage to him.
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to attack Commander Robot. He deals 2103 damage to him. A critical hit!
Commander Robot gets a turn. He chooses to attack Hero. Hero takes 265 damage.
Hero gets a turn. He chooses to attack Commander Robot. He deals 2000 damage to him. A critical hit!
Sandara gets a turn. She chooses to cast No Dong on Commander Robot. She deals 2165 damage to him.
Multi gets a turn. She chooses to attack Commander Robot. She deals 1095 damage to him, KOing him.
Not quite.
Commander Robot: If you think you infidels have your victory, you are wrong! WE will channel the power of worldwide jihad to ensure the complete annihilation of all enemies of Islam!
Commander Robot gets a turn. He casts Paradise Fruit in order to revive Abu Sabaya. Abu Sabaya is now revived with full HP.
Commander Robot gets another turn. He teams up with Abu Sabaya in order to cast Bearers of the Sword on all allies. Hero, Sandara, and Multi's HP's are now all at 1; therefore the party is now in critical condition.
Hero: Why... this...?
Sandara: Are... our efforts... in vain...?
Multi: I'm... a... robot... I... fight for peace...
Abu Sabaya and Commander Robot: The victory banquet of martyrs is near! Praise Allah!
Silence reigns for 10 seconds, and then...
Male voice: Hey, Abu Sayyaf fiends, do you think that a REAL Muslim will become a martyr with this brand of hatred-filled bloodshed? How foolish! You'd better cut some slack, will ya?
Female voice: Hiroyuki Fujita, Akari Kamigishi, friends, we may be physically absent, but we'll be spiritually present. And as for Hero Angeles and Sandara Park, fellow stars, we've been watching your every move. You both really have what it takes to be saviors of our degenerating yet beloved country.
Hiroyuki: Hey... it's that guy... with a mace... that I saw... at the airport...
Akari: Thank God... I sense... that you'll... give us hope...
Commander Robot: More interferers equal more infidels!
Abu Sabaya: Destroy them all! Destroy! Destroy!
Male voice: Better eat this, uglies! (Unleashes a "spiritual cage" that robs Abu Sabaya and Commander Robot of all movement and action.)
Male voice: (Faces Hiroyuki and co.) And before we forget, we'll introduce ourselves. The name's John Pratts.
Female voice: And I'm Heart Evangelista.
John: We have both been bestowed with powers as the King and Queen of Hearts. Just don't ask us how we were named as such or where we got our powers from.
Heart: Just joking. Now we're getting serious.
John and Heart then release a white circle that affects Hiroyuki and co., as well as Hero, Sandara, and Multi. (From this point on, they will all be called as "the unified force".)
The result: full HP and MP restoration to the unified force.
But wait; there's more.
Each member of the unified force learns a new ability called a "Special Move". Special Moves are like Limit Breaks; they unleash tremendous damage when used. For Hiroyuki, Akari, Hero, and Sandara, they receive the ability to transform into more powerful versions of themselves. For the rest of the unified force, they receive powerful multi-hit attacks suited to their personalities.
Hiroyuki and Hero: Now it's game over for fake jihad!
Akari and Sandara: Once we take you persona non grata out...
Multi and the rest of the unified force: ...THE HEALING PROCESS OF THIS UGLY AND BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY WILL BEGIN!
Unleashing all of their Special Moves at the same time, the members of the unified force give Abu Sabaya and Commander Robot more than just a lethal beating.
Abu Sabaya and Commander Robot: Allahu ak--- Gwaaahhhhh!
With that, not even a physical or spiritual trace of the two can be seen again.
Battle 9 won!

"Well done, everyone!" Heart appreciates the unified force.

"You've really got the stuff of heroes, all right. All partially thanks to us," John echoes.

"John, Heart, we thought that you've totally kicked the bucket at the airport," Hiroyuki cuts in.

"No, not really. Some unknown apparition forced us to keep alive despite the cessation of life," Heart explains.

"What's important is that we're all glad that Multi came back in one piece as that guy promised," Akari interrupts.

"Not just one piece. A piece full of revolutionary weapons guaranteed to silence war-mongers," Multi follows.

"And speaking of war-mongers," Hero explains, "there's this guy who wants war in order to justify his crooked rule over a country that's already loaded with problems."

Sandara punctuates, "His name is Melficio Victorialuna. He is the head of the Commission on Higher Education. I'm sensing right now that he is in his office located on a building somewhere along Epifanio de los Santos Avenue, the place wherein a great bloody civil war between the administration and the opposition took place."

"WHAAAAATTT! Many people lost their lives all because of us! Man, I'm starting to hate him more than ever!" Shiho exclaims.

"But we're in Basilan," Masashi worries, "A straightforward one-way ticket to Manila is impossible."

John assures, "Don't sweat it. We'll transport you directly to EDSA with no hidden taxes."

Heart finally says, "Everyone, are you ready to make a difference?"

The unified force jubilantly says a big freaking YES.

And in just a blink of an eye, they are all transported to the place of the final battle to come. The greatest battle to come. The Philippines' greatest battle.