Title: Turn Back Time (1?)

Author: Cheryl A

Rating: Teen

Genre: Angst/Romance (A/U)

Feedback: I love it and love to hear what other's think of my story.

Special Thanks to my beta Elizabeth who has helped me so much with this story!

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'If I could turn back time
If I could find a way I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay'

Josh groaned as his radio alarm went off indicating that it was time for him to start another dull, monotonous day waking up alone in his D.C apartment. Not wanting to exert the energy to shut off the increasingly loud sound of the alarm, he simply pulled his aging comforter over his head in an attempt to mute it. As he hid under his covers he thought to himself how it was much too early in the morning for anybody to be playing Cher and perhaps if he just hid under the covers long enough then hopefully the song would soon be over. Thankfully he was right.

"Good Morning D.C, it's Friday the 13th and you know what that means! Stay away from black cats and don't walk under ladders, weird things happen today so be prepared. That last song goes out to Donna, requested by a man who loves her dearly but admits he has screwed up things royally and wanted to request this song to express how sorry he was for hurting you in the past and hopes that you will take him back. Donna if you are listening, some free advice from another guy, please just forgive the poor sap us guys never realize what they have until it's too late." The Radio D.J announced on the radio before cutting to commercial.

'At least I'm not the only one who screwed up with a Donna' Josh thought to himself as he finally got the energy to shut off his alarm in an effort to be spared from further discussions of the Donnas of the world. He tries to shake off any lingering thoughts about his Donna and forget about how he threw away his one real chance at happiness.

Starting off the day wallowing in self-pity was not the best way to start off the morning, but lately it had become the norm. Begrudgingly he drags himself out of his bed and into his shower.

As he is getting dressed he turns on the TV to C-Span and is reminded of another reason he was not looking forward to this day. The reporter is detailing the outline of a health care reform bill that this Administration wants to pass and discusses how White House Staff will be meeting with members of the House Leadership this afternoon in hopes of making progress in getting this bill out of committee and onto the floor for a vote.

Josh knows how important this is to Leo and the President. He thought to himself if he can't get the House Majority leader to agree to rally support to sign off on this bill then he might as well just pack his things and move back home with his mother. Perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad thing, he knew his performance lately had been well below par and he didn't want to continue to bring the administration down and perhaps Donna would be happier.

He moves into his kitchen and starts his coffeemaker and pulls down the box of Corn Flakes from the top of his refrigerator. He promised his mom he would eat them for breakfast each morning; she kept nagging him about his eating habits the last time they spoke and made it very clear to him that she believed breakfast was the most important meal of the day. He goes into the fridge to grab the milk, but finds that the carton is empty. Refusing to eat the cereal dry, he puts the contents back in the box and makes a mental note to go grocery shopping after work.

At least he can have his coffee, he remembered as he poured the coffee into the only clean mug he had left. The coffeemaker had been a Christmas gift from Donna two years ago. Josh smiled as he remembered how she teased him that she chose that particular model because it was idiot-proof and all he had to do was push the button and he'd get his coffee, no bellowing required.

He shifted his focus back to the TV and started to get frustrated as he continued to listen to the reporter criticizing the bill and doubting that it would ever make it past committee despite efforts from the White House. He felt a hot presence making its way down his chest, at first he thought it was just his temper flaring but soon realized it was something else.

"Just great!" Josh shouted even though nobody was around to hear him. Apparently the mug was cracked, presumably from the last time he was listening to the morning news and slammed the fragile, porcelain mug on the counter angry over the latest statements from Mary Marsh. But this meant his coffee had now spilt all over his favorite blue shirt that he had just picked up from the dry cleaners yesterday. He regrettably goes back to his closet to see if he has anything else to wear to one of the most important meetings of his life that doesn't look like he pulled it straight from the bottom of his hamper.

In the end between the traffic, and his delays at home he finally arrives to the White House almost an hour later than he originally planned. He grumbled to himself that it really must be Friday the 13th since he has gotten nothing but bad luck today.

"DONNA!" Josh bellowed as he walked straight into his office and slammed his backpack on his desk.

"Yes, Josh," Donna said as she waited outside his doorway, she knew not to cross the line into his office unless she was asked to.

He motioned for her to come in, as he hurried to prepare for his meeting.

"Did you pull those 10 year estimate figures like I asked you yesterday, this meeting is really important and I can't afford any screw-ups!"

"Of course I did, it's my job isn't it? I know this meeting is important, in fact Leo is looking for you, he stopped by just a few minutes ago to say he wants to meet with you before you see Congressman Jackson." Donna replied coldly, as she tried to hide the fact that she had been late to the office this morning as well and at the present time she didn't know where she had placed the briefing notes and estimates she prepared for him yesterday.

"Can I have the notes for my meeting then?" Josh asked impatiently.

Trying to stall, "I have to cross check a few more figures, go meet with Leo and I'll have them for you when you get out. After all you don't want to bring inaccurate figures to your meeting with Leo, now do you?" Donna said confidently trying to buy herself some time to locate the document on her increasingly disorganized desk.

"Fine" Josh conceded. "I need to leave in 10 minutes, so have them ready the minute I finish with Leo."

Donna shot Josh an annoyed look, sat back at her desk pretending to be researching figures as he left and to meet with Leo. As soon as he was out of sight she began to tear apart her desk, frantically looking for the briefing memos she had prepared. She reprimanded herself for letting her desk get this disorganized, but things had changed so much these past couple months that she found she hasn't had the time to focus on her job as much as she has had in the past.

After all in three short weeks, she was to be married. It had been a lighting fast courtship; after all they had only started dating just six months ago, right after the re-election. He surprisingly popped the big question on Valentines Day namely because he didn't know how long he was going to be in D.C so he wanted to make the most of their time. Normally she wouldn't jump into that serious of relationship with someone so soon, but recent events had left her wanting to have somebody in her life that loved her, respected her and treated her the way she deserved to be treated.

Evidence of her impending wedding was everywhere, and it was a significant contributor to the mess that cluttered her desk. She didn't realize how much planning was involved in a wedding, especially when you only have 3 months to plan the wedding of your dreams. With the hours that Josh expected her to keep there was no way she could plan it all on her personal time, so it was inevitable that she had to work out some of her wedding details at work covertly.

So somewhere under the bridal magazines, how-to-books, and catering and floral arrangement proposals lay the missing briefing memos she had worked so hard on yesterday. She remembered that she even stuck the information in a red folder for safe keeping. She was growing increasingly frustrated as she lifted up the stacks of papers on her desk and opened her drawers as she knew it had to be here somewhere and if she just kept looking it had to turn up.

Meanwhile, Josh made his way over to Leo's office. As he walked down the halls, he questioned to himself if his heart was truly in this job anymore. It's a question he's been asking to himself since the moment Donna arrived at the White House one morning with a 3 Karat diamond ring attached to her left hand, given to her by a man that wasn't him.

He hated how strained their relationship was, it wasn't like they hated each other, but it was miles from how it was before he managed to screw everything up. But he couldn't think about that anymore, he can't have regrets or question "what-ifs" he needed to focus on the matter at hand, which was this reform bill as he opened the door to Leo's office, shut the door behind him and sat down.

"I don't think I need to tell you how important this meeting is." Leo said.

"No, sir you don't. I promise I'll get this bill passed."

"Good Josh, the President and I are counting on you. Also, I've noticed you haven't been yourself recently. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah everything is just fine, just some personal issues I'm dealing with, but don't worry it won't affect my work. I'm 100 dedicated to seeing this bill all the way through." Josh said in his most confident voice to try to reassure Leo that everything was ok as he didn't have time or the desire for one of his father-son type conversations right now.

"Alright, well get it together and don't let us down." Leo said as he got back to work.

"I won't" Josh said as he got up and hurried back to desk as he was running out of time to get to his meeting and hoped that Donna finished finalizing his briefing notes and the relevant figures.

"Did you finish it?" Josh asks impatiently as he slams his backpack down on Donna's desk and startles her.

As luck would have it, at that moment a red folder comes to light just underneath her magazine of the 50 most popular wedding dresses of the 20th century that she hopes Josh didn't see.

"Is this the second time you doubt me today? It's all right here in this red folder Josh," Irritated by his lack of trust in her, Donna stuck the folder in his backpack and shoved it towards him.

"Also can you confirm the location of my meeting? I know they have that bug problem over at some of the offices in the Capital so they moved the Congressmen to another location. I know its over in OMB but I don't remember in what office."

Donna pulled out Josh's calendar but she couldn't tell if she wrote 3807 or 13807 as the 1 could have just have been a stray mark on the page, sometimes it was hard to tell with her distinctive penmanship. She took a chance and judging by her other numbers, she was pretty sure it was 3807 and the 1 in front was just an erroneous scribble.

"I think it's 3807." Donna replied quickly.

"You think or know Donna. I don't have time for any mistakes or rookie errors." Josh demanded as his impatience grew.

"It's 3807, no doubt. Now will you please leave, before you are late and blame me for it?" Donna said as she slammed the calendar back down on her desk which in turn knocked over a pile of papers to floor which unbeknownst to Donna also revealed the true location to the red folder containing the briefing memos she worked so hard on.

Not wanting to fight with Donna anymore and not wanting to be late for the meeting, he left. Donna picked up the papers on the floor and threw them back on the desk, once again covering the very important red folder. She felt a headache coming on as she asked herself why she puts up with this type of treatment. But not wanting to stress about Josh any further, she set to work on her wedding plans, a much happier event. With Josh out of the office she could at least finalize a few details. She briefly looked around her desk for the wedding planning folder that contained all the estimates and quotes she had already received. Not wanting to mess her desk up any further, she figured she just must have left the folder at home but she could just call the places again and get the information she needed.

She stated her calls with her gown designer to see if her designer could schedule her fitting to ensure the dress she picked out fit. As she was placed on hold, she stared into Josh's empty office. She found her thoughts drifted back to Josh as opposed to her fiancée. She hated how things were between them and she hated how he treated her now. But no matter how bad things were between them and how distant they were with one another, she just couldn't leave him. She rationalized to herself that having him partially in her life in any form was better than not having him in her life at all. He had been the most important man in her life for the past five years, how could she just let go? But the more she thought about it, the angrier she got, because after all it was entirely his fault things were like this. This should be a happy time in her life. She reminded herself that in just a few short weeks, she was going to become Mrs. Jack Reese and she will never have to worry about being hurt by Josh Lyman ever again.