Chapter fifteen: Blood of dreams
Harry looked around, he was in a large cold room that was lit by a fire on the other side of the room, though it was big it gave off very little light and warmth. Harry rubbed his hands together and blew at on them. Puffs of white steam appeared where his hot breath met the chilly air, and fogged up his glasses.
Harry pulled his glasses off and began to wipe them on his t-shirt. He heard a cry of pain coming from the inky blackness to his right. Harry jammed his glasses back onto his face and squinted his eyes at the dark trying to see more.
He could barely make out a dim outline of a door. Harry jumped as a blood-chilling scream came from behind the door and resonated off the dark stone walls. Harry shivered from more than just the cold.
Harry's mind told him to run, to leave, but his traitorous feet moved toward the door. Harry's heart pounded against his chest as if it were trying to escape a horrible fate that was sure to befall the boy in which it resided.
As Harry moved closer to the door the temperature seemed to plummet. His numb fingers circled around the strangely warm doorknob. He pushed the door open and was face-to-face with a disturbing sight.
Lying on a marble slab in the middle of the average-sized room was a mostly naked Draco. The blonde was tied to the marble by leather strips and he wore a very small black loincloth.
Draco was gasping for breath as if he just couldn't seem to fill his lungs. Sweat glistened off of his body and Harry could see the heat radiating off of his body in wispy white steam that twisted and danced into the fridge air of the dungeon.
"Ready for more?" A strangely familiar voice that was so frosty that it made the rest of the room feel like a day at the beach, spoke from the shadows. Draco's silver eyes flashed and he set his jaw in defiance.
"Always," He grinded out through his teeth and tightened his already clenched hands so hard that fat drops of red blood seeped out through his fingers and dropped to the grey ground. The drop shattered as if made from glass when it contacted the hard ground.
After the initial force of the fall eased the smaller drops of blood quickly huddled back together to form a rather large puddle of thick red substance. The entire floor was covered in the stuff. The hot blood caused the cold air around it to almost turn in to a solid of white smoke.
Harry turned his gaze from the blood to Draco. He heard the icy voice give a sadistic chuckle.
"So be it," The voice hissed and a snowy white hand holding a wand, appeared from the shadows and aimed it at Draco. Draco narrowed his eyes and stared at the wand. The voice muttered a spell that Harry couldn't hear and a jet of deep purple light shot toward the blonde.
Draco didn't move a muscle as the purple light came closer. Just as it was about to hit him the boy quickly jerked to the right causing the light to hit one of his leather restraints. Draco didn't waste any time; as soon as his right hand was free he undid his left and set to work on his feet.
The voice howled in anger and tried to aim spells at the boy who was quickly dodging them.
"You no longer amuse me." The voice snarled aiming his wand at Draco's chest, while the boy was trying to undo the restraint on his right ankle. "Avada Kedavra,"
Harry watched in horror as a brilliant green light sped toward the blonde. His jaw was frozen shut and his feet would not move. He couldn't help or even call out a warning to the other boy. Harry felt tears spring to his eyes but they to seem to be frozen as none of them fell.
Harry was sure he was going to be forced to witness Draco's death. But at the last minute the blonde wretched his leg free and tumbled out of the spell's path. The spell struck the door causing it to explode sending debris flying in every direction.
Draco lunged forward and grabbed the wand out of the pale hand and snapped it over his knee. The voice growled in rage.
"Fine, I'll kill you by hand," It declared, a sliver knife lunged out of the shadows. Draco was caught off guard by the physical attack and wasn't fast enough to avoid it. The knife plunged into his chest, right through his heart.
The blonde clutched at the wound and stumbled back, banging into the marble slab on his way. The bump sent Draco reeling and he fell to the floor at Harry's feet. He looked up into Harry's face, his silver eyes slowly dimming.
"Save me," He croaked out. Harry's jaw became unstuck.
"I can't. Oh Merlin, you're dying." Harry cried falling to his knees and putting Draco's head in his lap.
"You can still save me. Sometimes you can bring the dead back to life." Draco whispered coughing a little.
"No, no you can't. The dead stay dead, Draco. The dead stay dead." The tears in Harry's eyes now made salty tracks down his face and fell into Draco's silky hair as Harry buried his face into it.
"Harry, you can save me. You have to" Draco replied smiling softly. "You're my hero."
"No Draco, I'm nobody's hero. Please, oh please." Harry tried desperately to get the other boy to understand that Harry couldn't save him. "We have to get you to St. Mungo's or to Pomfrey."
"No," Draco said so soft that Harry had to lean forward to hear him. Draco's breathing was becoming labored and he began to cough. Harry tried to lift the other boy's head to make breathing easier. After what seemed like an eternity the coughing fit subsided. Blood trickled out of the side of his mouth from the coughing fit and internal bleeding.
"No, Draco. You can't give up. You'll be alright, you will. You'll see." Harry said trying to reassure himself as well as the blonde, as he thumbed away the blood.
"No," Draco said again. "You're my only hope, Harry." Draco took a deep breath that seemed suspiciously like his last and closed his eyes.
"No, Draco, no wake up." Harry cried. "Draco! Wake up dammit!" His voice growing louder with hysteria as he smacked Draco's cheeks trying to wake him.
"No, no, no, you can't die. You can't! Not now, not like this." Harry wailed as he buried his face into Draco's hair once again. "Oh Merlin, I love you Draco. Please come back."
Harry pulled the boy to him and sobbed into Draco's chest chanting 'no, no I love you, please no'.
"He's not coming back." The cold voice broke through Harry's grief. "He's dead." Harry's head snapped up and his emerald eyes searched the shadows for a hint of Draco's killer.
"Show yourself!" Harry commanded glaring at the shadows.
"Ah, temper, temper," The voice laughed mirthlessly. "You catch more Hufflepuffs with butterbeer than dragon's blood, y'know."
"Just come out, you coward," Harry growled. The voice chuckled.
"Ah, I'm crushed. I thought the Boy-Who-Lived could do better than that." The familiar voice mocked. "I do believe I've heard you call your dear friend, Weasley worse during that awful row of yours in fourth year."
"Who the bloody hell are you!" Harry questioned again his rage was rising. He was tiring of these games, and fast.
"Why, Harry" The voice drawled and Harry could tell it was nearing. He saw a shape coming closer to him. It stepped out of the dark fully and Harry gasped. "Surely you recognize the love of your life?"
Standing before Harry was…Draco? But it didn't look like Draco. For starters, it had no eyes. empty sockets took the place of where Draco enthralling silver eyes were. Like two black holes that lead into a great abyss. The shade's skin was so pale that Harry could see the blue veins that ran along the back of its claw-like hand and on its neck. The rest of his body was covered by a long-sleeved black shirt and long black trousers. Its face was nearly translucent and Harry could make out every vein. Its lips were grey and its hair which hung just above its shoulder's like Draco's did was pure white.
Harry just gaped at the being before him. He didn't know what to say.
"Now, Harry, staring is rude." Its lips twisted into a smirk.
"Wh-what are you?" Harry choked out.
"I'm Draco, of course." The shade announced. Harry shook his head. He wanted to yell at the creature, tell it that it wasn't Draco, that it killed Draco, but Harry couldn't speak, he couldn't move. He felt dizzy and sick.
"You couldn't do it Harry. You couldn't save him." The shade softly watching Harry through its empty sockets as if amused, Harry's head was swimming. He struggled to get up, to take Draco and get away from the room and its inhabitant. But his legs wouldn't support him.
The Shade neared him and kneeled down before him.
"No" Harry choked out.
"Yes," The shade said nodding his head and he put a hand on Harry's shoulder. Liquid fire spread from the hand on his shoulder down to the rest of his body. Harry's body jerked and withered as pain racked trough it. All his senses were filled with the sheer intensity of the cold, burning pain.
Harry tried to scream but nothing came out. He had no release from the horrible pain that burned through his body.
"You failed him" It said in a cruel yet oddly sympathetic voice. Harry shook his head as he sobbed silently. "You were his only hope."
Harry lurched forward panting, his skin felt like thousands of needles were pricking him and his heart was racing so fast Harry was sure he was having a heart attack. He looked wildly around him for the Shade. What met his eyes was Draco's bedroom.
It was just a dream Harry told himself taking deep breaths. He had had the same dream for the past week, ever since his first night in Malfoy Manor, after his discovery of the dungeons and the horrible vision. The dream started the same every night. He was in the dungeon and he would hear screaming. Each night he would progress a bit further into the dream and towards the screaming and the door. Than he would wake up feeling shaking.
Last night, he had made it into the room and heard the voice before he woke up. But what he had just witnessed left him feeling sick. He couldn't stop sweat, panting and shivering. It all just felt so real and was so strange. He had to assure himself that it was a dream.
Harry flung back the covers. Laying there in a deep, peaceful sleep with the early morning light that filtered in through the window making him look like an angel, was Draco. Harry starred at him and couldn't help it. He began to laugh softly.
His chuckles of relief quickly turned to sobs. Harry buried his head in his hands and sobbed quietly.
"Harry?" Draco called groggily. Harry looked up and quickly swiped the tears from his face.
"Yeah, Draco?' He asked trying not to let on that he had a runny nose from crying.
"You alright?" The blonde asked flipping onto his back but keeping his eyes closed his voice heavy with sleep. Harry looked at the boy for a moment taking in his pale skin. He put his hand on Draco's chest and felt it rise and fall as he breathed and he could feel his heart beat under his palm.
Harry smiled and pulled his hand away.
"Yeah, I'm alright." He said and lay back down.
"Hmm, one touch of my flawless skin and you're cured of nightmares? I know my body is a gift to mankind but that's simply ridiculous." Draco chuckled softly. Harry's smile widened.
"Yes, maybe you should market it." Harry answered back. Draco made a sound like he was thinking of it.
"Nah, I quite like keeping my skin on my body. Besides it's a pleasure only very few are privy to. "Draco yawned and opening his eyes.
"Only a few? Not from what I heard." Harry replied.
"And what have you heard? Are you suggesting I'm a slut?' Draco asked in mock indignity.
"Who's suggesting?" Harry grinned and laughed when he got a face full of pillow.
"Bugger off, Potter." Draco said getting up, realizing that he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep now, and stretched, his short white t-shirt lifting up giving Harry a view of Draco's belly button and a bit beyond.
"You'd like that wouldn't you? But I wont be another notch on you bed post." Harry said sitting up not taking his eyes off of the other boy's creamy white skin. That's when he saw it. A yellow…something. Harry leaned closer trying to see what it was.
"What are you doing?" Draco asked a bit alarmed at the sight of Harry on all fours stalking toward him like a lion after his prey. He didn't dare move a muscle. He didn't even lower his arms. Harry crept closer never taking his eyes off of Draco's navel.
He came to a stop in front of Draco. Sitting back on his haunches he laid his calloused hands flat against Draco's smooth chest. Draco inhaled sharply and Harry pushed Draco's shirt up futhur and then over his head.
Draco closed his eyes at the feeling of Harry's hands on him but they snapped open and he gasped in shock as Harry hands went to the waistband of his green boxers.
"H-Harry," He stuttered but Harry ignored him. He began to fold the top of the waist band down. With each fold more and more of Draco's skin was reveled but Harry's eyes were trained on the yellow thing on the front of the boy's right hip.
Draco's boxers were dangerously low by the time Harry had it uncovered fully. It was a…flower? Harry looked at the tattoo in confusion. He ran a finger over it tenderly. Draco couldn't resist a shudder at the intimate touch.
"You have a tattoo…of a flower…" Harry said as he traced the yellow flower's petals with his finger.
"It's…uh, a Daffodil." Draco gasped. Harry looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "My m-mother's name is N-Narcissa. It's from a Greek m-myth about a guy named Narcissus who was s-so vain that the gods turned him into a Narcissa, o-or a d-daffodil." Draco explained as Harry continued to run his fingers over his tattooed skin.
"Where did you get a tattoo? I didn't know they were a wizard's thing." Harry asked.
"Th-there n-not." Draco shivered as Harry leaned closer to inspect the flower. "A-after my mother was thrown out of all the w-wizarding bars, she w-went t-to muggle b-bars. I p-put a tracking spell on h-er so I could f-f-find her. I w-would go to the bar and s-s-sometimes I would w-wait for her to come out or I would g-go in and bring her out." Draco said stuttering horribly as Harry's breath ghosted over his hip and tattoo.
"Next t-to on of these places was a t-tattoo parlor. I went in to look a-around while I waited, t-the guy in there e-explained tattoos and I decided to get one." Harry seemed oblivious to the sensations he was causing in the blonde's body. At Harry's eye level it was wonder he didn't notice his effect on the other boy.
"How did you pay for it?' Harry asked.
"Know thine enemy." Draco took a deep breath trying to calm himself. "Father made sure that he knew as much about the muggle world as he could. He hired a muggle to tutor us, made me take muggle studies in fifth year as well. That includes knowing about their money and such."
"So you got a Daffodil…for your mum?' Harry looked up at Draco. A dirty image popped into his head and he shoved it aside.
"Yes," Draco said. Harry nodded and turned his gaze back to it. With one final inspection with his fingertips Harry backed up and Draco let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.
"Why haven't I heard of this?' He asked the blonde as he sat cross-legged on the bed. Draco unfolded his boxers and covered up the tattoo again.
"I put a glamour on it." He said not looking up.
"A glamour, what's that?" Harry asked curiously.
"It's a sort of wandless magic. A witch or wizard says a spell and focuses really hard how they want to look. It takes a lot of concentration and power at the beginning but it gets easier with use to where a wizard can do it without much thought." Draco informed him.
"Like a metamorphous. Like Tonks. "Harry said. Draco looked up.
"Yes, my cousin was born with it naturally, however." Draco nodded.
"Why do you hide it?" Harry asked.
"Because,' he sighed "It's a personal thing and I don't think that every slut in Hogwarts deserves a peek at it. And those who manage to catch a glimpse I obliviate them."
"Isn't that illegal?" Harry asked.
"Not if you use it for a recent memory that is no longer than five minutes." Draco answered as if he had the law memorized, which he did but Harry didn't need to know that.
"Oh," Harry said and then turned thoughtful. "Are you going to obliviate me now?" He asked innocently.
"No," Draco whispered running a hand through his hair.
"Why?" Harry asked looking up.
Draco turned a light pink.
"CauseItrustyou," he mumbled.
"Um, didn't catch that." Harry said and Draco's blush deepened.
"Because, I trust you," he said taking a deep breath. Harry beamed at him.
"Aw, Draco," he squeal and Draco flinched at the high-pitch.
"Shut-up," he grumbled grabbing his towel and a pair of fresh clothes from his wardrobe and walked into the bathroom. Harry laughed as the blonde shut the door.
He had no idea why but he felt so giddy and lighter than he had in a long time. Whistling, Harry walked over to his trunk to get out a pair of clothes for the day. He flipped open the lid and began to rummage through it.
He tossed shirts, socks and jeans out as he made his way to the bottom, where his clean clothes were at. Harry picked out a pair of dark blue jeans and a light blue shirt. Taking the clothes out of his trunk, Harry placed them on Draco's bed and looked at the mess he created.
"Oops," He laughed. He pulled out his wand, very glad that he was now of age, and pointed it at the piles of clothing. "Accio clothes,"
Harry had to dive out of the way as the large piles suddenly took flight and came hurling towards him. The clothes stopped above the trunk and then simply dropped. Harry rubbed his hands together as if dusting them off and turned away from the overflowing trunk.
Something caught his eye near the foot of Draco's bed. Harry bent down and picked up the scroll. It was the letter from Hermione that he had gotten a few days ago. He pulled off the string and sat on Draco's bed to read it.
Dear Harry,
Why do I have the feeling that this is about Malfoy? Nevermind, don't answer that. he has his right to privacy. In answer to your question about the 'girl' and her 'friend' it sounds a lot like Self-injury (SI) to me, more specifically, cutting.
Cutting is when a person cuts themselves. Some use knives, daggers, blades. Others use anything they can get, soda bottle caps, fingernails, even quills or any other sharp object they can get their hands onto. It's a common thing and people do it for a multitude of reasons. Many cutters come from a background of abuse as a child.
Harry, it's important that you know that these people (or person) are not crazy and they are not suicidal. Some of these people believe they will be dead within a few years. Others suffer from a variety of disorder and for many it's a self-preservation technique.
For many, cutting is calming. It provides a feeling of control that they rarely experience otherwise. It can help a person who is experiencing severe emotional pain, cope. Most cutters are intelligent, sensitive and creative people. Who might be hyper-aware of the world around them and the pain in it. They may feel like the only one who can feel the entire world's pain while everyone else is oblivious to it.
The reasons you have probably haven't been aware f cutting before is because, most keep it very secret. Cutters feel alone and fear how they would be treated by their loved ones. People don't understand. If you haven't done it, it's hard to say you get it.
I only know the facts. The emotional aspect to it is a mystery to me. It takes a lot of strength for a cutter to come out and it takes a lot of support to help them.
It is said that many cutters learn to help themselves. They find other means to express themselves. Means like art, music, poetry or other written work. Dance or physical exercise also helps. It releases endorphins which kill pain. These endorphins are also released during physical pain. It is said that this result might be something cutters are looking for, along with those who enjoy being tattooed and pierced.
I personally believe that some people use cutting not only as a coping method for intense emotional pain which they are otherwise unable to express but also as a means to forget. Pain causes the mind to focus. If your mind is focused on a cut on you leg it's not thinking about other, more painful things.
Harry, if this does have something to do with Malfoy, do be careful. Cutting is a very serious thing.
I know that if this were a year ago I would never believe something like this about Draco Malfoy, but he has been so different. You should try to help him. To help a cutter you must first help them come to terms with what it is that triggers it and then help them find a healthier way to cope.
He's hurting, Harry, and I know that you, of all people, could help him with that hurt. You know what happens when that pain is bottled up for too long. Once again, if this were a year ago…but your different as well, I would never have thought you would do what you did, and I would never have thought that you and Malfoy would become so close, become friends. But you have and we all must look out for each other.
Take care of him, Harry.
By the way, Hedwig is here and I was scared to death when she arrived with no letter or anything. Also Ron and I will meet you at the Leaky Cauldron and I can't wait to see you!
Love always,
Hermione
Harry looked up from the letter dazed. Draco… a cutter? It was all too much to even process. How could the boy who just moments ago was laughing and joking with him…hurt himself?
Harry didn't understand and a part of him wasn't sure he wanted to. All he knew was he had to get out of that room and away from the Slytherin.
Harry pulled on his clothes and shoved Hermione's letter in his pocket and rushed out the door.
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(A/n: I know the dream was rather sudden but I figured that rather than have three filler chapters to help it progress I would just do it in it's entirety and explain what's happened over the week.
I used this website for the more…factual parts. It's a good reference. I also used some of my own personal thoughts on the emotional parts. As I said before, I have a history with cutting.
http/ )