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Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
Midtown, Manhattan, New York City, New York
Tony panted heavily against Steve's bare chest as he recovered from their amorous activities. He hummed as Steve ran his fingers through his hair, enjoying the aftermath of what they had just done. His eyes were shut, and he just listened to the sounds of Steve breathing. Tony had to admit, he was feeling a bit worn out after going at it for most of the evening with a Super Soldier. He honestly felt like he was going to fall asleep at any second. However, before he could, he unconsciously found himself asking Steve, "are you afraid?"
"What?" Steve's voice was not nearly as bleary or tired as Tony's, a testament to their vastly different endurance levels.
"Are you afraid?" Tony asked again.
"I don't understand," Steve said. "What do you mean? Am I afraid of what?"
"I don't know…" Tony mumbled to himself. He could feel Steve smoothing over his hair.
"Just get some rest, Tony," he said. "You can ask me about it in the morning."
"Okay…" Without another word, Tony was enveloped by the darkness of sleep.
Thursday, February 9th, 2012
"What were you trying to ask me last night?" That question had preempted any sort of morning greeting as he woke up and caused Tony to furrow his brow.
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Last night?" The words came out of Steve's mouth as a question as his expression turned to one of disbelief. "You kept trying to ask me if I was afraid of something, but it wasn't quite making any sense." Tony shook his head in confusion.
"I don't remember that," he said. "Maybe it was just a dream."
"No, it wasn't," Steve said. "I know it wasn't."
"How so?" Since Tony had nuzzled his head into the juncture between Steve's shoulder and neck, it was impossible to miss the sound of Steve swallowing hard.
"I just know it wasn't a dream." Tony had to pull back from the admittedly comfortable position he had worked himself into to look up at Steve, gazing directly into his eyes. The imploring look he gave him spoke volumes.
"Steve," he said. "Do you really think you're going to fool me like that?" Steve sighed.
"I've been awake all night." Unsurprised by the admission, Tony leaned in to wrap his arms around Steve and pressed his forehead to chest.
"Babe," he practically groaned. "I realize the massive hypocrisy in me saying this, but you need to get some sleep."
"I know, I know," Steve said. "I tried to sleep but I just couldn't stop…"
"What?" Tony prompted when Steve's hesitance to finish that sentence became clear.
"Thinking about you." Although his heart did soften a bit at the thought, Tony could not overlook the fact that that Steve's thoughts that night were more troubled than romantic or kinky.
Slowly, he pealed himself away from Steve and stood up, collecting blankets from the ground, and throwing them over his lover's nude form.
"What are you doing?" Steve asked as he tried to prop himself up on his elbows.
"Tucking you in," Tony explained. "Now lie back down. You'll be more comfortable that way."
Steve reluctantly complied and allowed Tony to throw a sheet, the comforter, and that fuzzy blue blanket over him. Tony did not bother to try to tuck the blankets into the mattress, figuring that just having the warm blankets on top of him would be comfortable enough for Steve. Once they were all spread out, Tony climbed back on top Steve, again resting his head on his chest.
"There," he said. "Now you have to sleep."
"Are you going to lay on top of me until I do?" Amusement colored Steve's voice, causing the corners of Tony's lips to rise upwards.
"Yup," he said. "I'm not going anywhere until your eyes are shut and I hear you snoring."
"I don't snore." Tony snorted at the denial.
"You know what I mean," he said. "Get some sleep. I'm not going to move until you do."
Steve chuckled as he freed his arms to wrap around Tony's shoulders. He smiled and leaned into the touch. He could feel Steve relax underneath him and Tony shut his eyes, thinking maybe he could sneak in another hour or so of sleep.
Wow, I have not thought that in a long time. Tony took a moment to relish in it. Although it did not mean his fear of falling asleep was cured, but it did feel nice to want to fall asleep for once. After a while, he could feel himself starting to drift off…
Then JARVIS' voice came through the speakers.
"Sir, it is now six-thirty in the morning," the AI said. "If you want to arrive to work on time, I suggest getting out of bed now." Tony groaned.
"Why do you have to ruin my fun, J?"
"I don't believe I am ruining anything," JARVIS said. "I was merely advising you as to what might be in your best interest."
"Sleep is in my best interest," Tony tried to argue.
"You got seven and a half hours of sleep last night," JARVIS reported. "Although that is thirty minutes shorter than the standard doctor's recommendation, it is still an adequate amount for you to function off of."
"So, you're saying that if I was the one who stayed up all night, you'd actually let me sleep in?" Tony asked.
"Given that it is in the new health and safety protocols that yourself and Miss Potts put in place that I am to ensure that you have slept a minimum of six-hours for every twenty-four you've been awake, I would have to say so." Tony groaned again.
"Why didn't I foresee this?" he wondered aloud. "I'm supposed to be the futurist for God's sake." Steve chuckled as he rubbed Tony's shoulders.
"That doesn't make you clairvoyant, dear." Tony gave a begrudging hum.
"I know I know," he muttered in response. Slowly, he dragged his head up to look Steve in the eyes. "I just wish we had more time together." Steve gave him a warm smile.
"We'll have plenty of time together once you're done with work," Steve assured. "But right now, you need to get ready, so get on up." Steve lightly patted Tony's side, receiving another annoyed groan in response.
"I hate my job," he said.
"No, you don't," Steve said.
"When it takes me away from you?" Tony questioned. "Yeah, I do." Steve gave him a sympathetic look.
"Do you want me to do something to make this easier on you?" Steve asked. "Make you breakfast, perhaps?" Out of everything he could have said, that got Tony sitting up faster than anything else could.
"No, no," he rushed to assure. "That's fine. I can do it myself. You need to get some rest."
"It's okay," Steve tried to argue. "I can make you breakfast, then go back to bed." Tony shook his head, adjusting his position to better straddle Steve over the covers.
"Or you can just skip the extraneous effort and just fall asleep right now." Steve let out a deep sigh.
"Tony," he started to say, but Tony gently placed three fingers on his lips, effectively cutting him off.
"No," he said. "Don't do that. You do not get to worry about me and take care of me without me doing the same for you. That's not fair."
"It's not like I'm going to run myself into the ground," he argued. Tony smiled softly.
"You're right," he said. "And you won't be if you just relax and go to sleep." Steve still appeared to be a bit unwilling, so Tony leaned in a little more. "What can I do to make this easier for you?" Steve gave Tony's question a moment of genuine contemplation. The corners of his lips began to rise.
"How about a goodnight kiss?" The cheekiness of his smile betrayed the thoughtfulness of his voice. Tony laughed.
"I don't know," he said. "You drive a hard bargain there, sweetheart."
"It's a kiss or I'm getting out of bed," Steve threatened.
"Alright, alright," Tony joyfully agreed.
He scooched forward so he could reach Steve's mouth better. As he leaned in, Tony watched as Steve shut his eyes and started to relax. As much as it delighted him to see Steve so ready and willing to give himself over to him, he could not go in for the kill just yet. Instead, his lips hovered tantalizingly close to Steve's allowing his hot breath to fan over both of their faces as he asked, "you promise to go right to sleep after this?"
One of Steve's eyes opened to look at Tony, but quickly snapped back shut.
"I promise," he said.
"And you promise not to worry about me excessively during the day?" Steve frowned and this time properly opened his eyes.
"I'm always going to worry about you, Tony," he said.
"I know," he said. "But don't do it to the point where you're not considering yourself, okay?" Steve gave a seemingly reluctant nod.
"Okay," he agreed. "I promise." Tony grinned, but the expression did not stay on his face for long as he crashed his mouth into Steve's.
The first kiss was chaste, but then they went for a second, and a third, and after that Tony lost count. The kisses were so heated and passionate that they seemingly melded into one another. Steve's hands roamed all over Tony's body, squeezing and grabbing onto whatever they could. Tony let out a distinct moan of pleasure. All thoughts of anything other than Steve left his mind. A layer of sweat began to form on his increasingly heated body. The friction was intense. He could already feel himself getting…
He pushed back from Steve, hard, more to stop himself than out of any fear or insecurity. As much as he wanted to screw Steve senseless right then and there but having sex right now would only further delay his arrival to work. Panting fiercely, Tony felt Steve place a hand on his arm. He met his eyes immediately.
"You okay?" Steve asked.
"Yeah," Tony assured between breaths. "Yeah."
"Did I do something wrong?" Tony shook his head.
"No," he said. "You were awesome, I just…" He swallowed hard and took a few more deep breaths. "I need to get to work." Steve nodded understandingly.
"Okay," he said before his eyes drifted southward. "Are you going to need any help with that, though?" He gestured to Tony's exposed privates, clearly erect. Tony waved it off.
"I'll take a cold shower," he said. "I'll be fine." Steve raised an eyebrow.
"You sure?" he asked. "Because I can give you a blowie or a hand job faster than the time it would take for you to shower." Tony snorted.
"While I appreciate the confidence in your abilities," he said. "You promised me you'd go right to sleep after that kiss."
"That wasn't one kiss," Steve pointed out.
"Uh-uh, you're not getting anymore, mister," Tony said. "Shut your eyes, go to sleep."
"Why do I feel like this is less fun the other way around?" Steve asked.
"Because you know better than to try to bribe me with sex." Steve shrugged, conceding that he had a point. Tony moved off Steve but stopped himself as he was perched on the edge of the bed, taking Steve's hand in his. "Maybe I'll be able to get out early so we can go right back to having fun," he said. "But in the meantime, please try to get some sleep, dear, okay?"
Steve agreed, and Tony pressed his lips to the back of his hand before standing up and heading for the bathroom. As he moved, he started to realize that it would take more than a cold shower to get this erection to go down.
Yeah, I should've taken Steve up on that offer for a hand job.
Steve laid across the living room couch, an arm draped over his face; trying desperately to fall asleep. He got only an hour at most after Tony tucked him in that morning. He wished he could say that he did not know why he felt that way or what triggered it, but that would be a straight up lie. He was concerned for Tony, which obviously was not unusual, but what truly sparked it was the question Tony asked him as he drifted off to sleep.
"Are you afraid?" They were just three simple words, and yet they were causing Steve so much anguish.
Am I afraid of what? Losing Tony? Because that is a definite yes. Besides, I know that is not what he was asking. Tony was just as afraid of losing Steve as Steve was afraid of losing Tony. He felt confident in that fact. So no, Tony would not ask that. There was, however, a total litany of things that Tony would ask Steve if he was afraid of, though.
"Are you afraid to have sex with me?"
"Are you afraid of loving me?"
"Are you afraid to have a real relationship with me?"
The answer to all of those was a resounding yes. Steve was afraid of all those things. Albeit, for different reasons than Tony might think, but he was afraid nonetheless and for that Steve felt completely ashamed.
Yes, Steve was afraid to have sex with Tony. Part of that was because he was afraid, he had hurt him. He had only a handful of sexual experiences with both men and women prior to being administered the Super Soldier Serum, and even fewer afterwards. He had only had sex with women since then, so in his opinion that only added to his record of inexperience. None of that helped, especially when his sexual history was dwarfed in comparison to Tony's. He was probably expecting a lot more than Steve could give him, especially when Steve was not sure whether he'd be able to control his strength.
That brought him to the next question. Was he afraid to love Tony? No, absolutely not. Was he afraid telling Tony that he loved him? Yes, most certainly. Although, yeah, technically what Tony needed to hear right now was that he was loved and supported, Steve still was not sure now was the right time to tell him. Tony was already rather emotionally distraught, and Steve did not want to add the emotional weight of something so powerful to all of that. It might do more harm than good. Though, the temptation was there – every time he merely looked at Tony, he wanted to say "I love you" – Steve was able to fight it back and not say anything. Tony was in a very precarious place and he did not need any more emotional stressors. Instead, he tried to get the message across in every little thing he did; every kiss, every touch, every little bit of contact was given fully with the implication of
"I love you" behind it. However, he worried that Tony was not catching on to what he meant, especially given that they still were not officially public with their relationship. Which brought him to the last question.
Are you afraid to have a real relationship with me?
That one gave him the most guilt because it was the clearest of all to answer. Yes, he was afraid to be in a real relationship with Tony, because to Steve, a real relationship entailed being out in the public with the person that you were in love with. It meant being able to go on actual dates and being affectionate with the person without the fear of criticism or worse. All his life, Steve knew he would never be able to have that with a man. If you wanted to date, get married, have children, the only acceptable way to do that was with a woman. Otherwise, you were out of luck (and likely to be run out of town by an angry mob wielding pitchforks and torches.) Now, though… Well, while the idea still had its detractors, it was still much more of an acceptable option than it was years ago. However, Steve still felt hesitant. It was not because he did not love Tony – he did – but because he had lived for years being told that wanting that with a man was wrong; that openly dating a man was wrong. It scared him, and now on top of that he was starting to worry that Tony was afraid he did not love him because he would not openly date him, which was untrue. He was simply scared.
Yes, Steve was aware of the irony of Captain America being scared. He did not need anyone to point it out or rub it in. What he needed was a magic boost in confidence that would make him not care about those things and just let himself be happy with Tony. However, reality did not work like that.
Speaking of reality, Steve realized that he should probably snap back to it. He spent enough time mulling over his own anxieties. He needed to figure out what was going on with dinner so that way he could ensure that both he and Tony ate before they went off to bed.
Pulling his arm off his eyes, Steve looked around to find that it was much later than he thought it was. While earlier if he looked out the window, he could still see golden rays of sunshine glinting of the sides of the surrounding buildings, now all he could see was the violet-black glow that the sky took on, denoting nighttime in New York City. Also, someone had turned the living room lights on, and turning his head to the side gave him a clear indication as to who.
Crap.
Just as Steve turned his head, Tony's eyelids started to flutter open. It was clear that he had been kneeling by his side and resting his head on the sofa cushion while Steve slept. The warm smile that Tony gave him made his heart speed up a bit.
"Good morning, sweetheart," Tony said in a honeyed tone that made Steve try to stifle his groan as best he could.
"More like, 'good night,'" he remarked. "What time is it?"
"7:30, 7:45," Tony guessed. That meant that Steve had slept for almost four hours. He cursed internally.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to fall asleep at all." Tony shrugged.
"It's fine," he said. "You probably needed it." Steve nodded in agreement to that before pulling himself up to sit on the couch.
"Have you eaten?" Tony nodded.
"Natasha made Chicken Spinnocoli," he said. "I saved you a plate. It's in the microwave." Steve frowned.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Chicken and penne pasta with a cheese and vegetable topping," Tony explained. "It's not spicy at all. I think you'll like it." Steve wasn't so sure about that, especially since Tony hadn't elaborated on the term "Spinnocoli," but he figured he could at least give it a shot. If he didn't like it, he didn't like it. No big deal.
Wow, when did that become "no big deal?" Although he did let the shock of the realization wash over him, Steve did not dwell on it. There were times and places to feel guilty and this was not one of them; not when his emotions were already so turbulent.
Steve slowly got up and headed to the kitchen with Tony following closely behind. As promised, he found the food in the microwave. He took a quick peak at the meal before starting it up. It looked good enough and he could find no problem with any of the vegetables, so he shut the door and hit the "reheat" button. He then turned back around to look at Tony, who he was surprised to find was sporting a little bit of a pout, causing Steve to frown.
"What's wrong, honey?" Rather dramatically, Tony's pout deepened.
"I don't get a 'welcome home' kiss?" Steve let out a snort of laughter before taking Tony's face in his hands.
"I'm sorry," he said. "How inconsiderate of me." Tony's pout quickly perked upwards into a flirtatious smirk.
"Well, you have plenty of time to make up for it," he pointed out.
"Indeed, I do," Steve said before surging forward and bringing their mouths together. Tony was immediately pliant and responsive, opening his mouth and allowing Steve full access. The kiss was not long – the timer on the microwave went off, causing them to have to abruptly break apart – but it was plenty heated, leaving the two of them gasping for air for a moment or two afterwards.
"God damn," Tony muttered, briefly touching his fingers to his lips. "I needed that." It was then Steve's turn to give a flirty smirk.
"Happy to oblige," he said. "Any place, any time."
"Careful," Tony warned. "I might just take you up on that."
"I hope you do," Steve murmured to himself more than to Tony. He felt a quick thrill at the idea of the two of them kissing in public, but the nervous fear that came along with the thought caused him to push it away. Instead, he got his food out of the microwave and moved to sit at the kitchen table. "How was your day?" he asked Tony.
"Eh," Tony groaned as he took the seat next to Steve. "Long, arduous, tiring, boring; all would be pretty apt descriptions for today."
"What happened." Tony sighed.
"The company buried me with paperwork," he explained. "It happens sometimes. A bunch of things end up coming in all at once needing my signature, and Conroy and I must scramble to get it all signed in a timely fashion. It sucks normally, but today it took so long that I wasn't able to get any real work done on top of that." Steve put a hand on Tony's shoulder.
"That does suck," he said. "I'm sorry to hear about that." Tony shrugged.
"It can't be helped sometimes," he said. "It's the nature of the beast."
Steve nodded in agreement as he stabbed a forkful of chicken and pasta. Once he got to eating the food, he found that he liked it. The flavors were not too strong, and the cheesy sauce was already leaving him wanting more. He looked back up at Tony, a slight smile on his face.
"This is good," he said. "I'll have to ask Natasha how she made this later."
"Good, good," Tony nodded, reflecting Steve's smile.
"So, you had dinner downstairs with everyone else?" Steve asked.
"Yeah," Tony confirmed. "Well, JARVIS said that you were asleep, and I didn't want to disturb you…"
"That would've been fine," Steve tried to say, but he couldn't get around the end of Tony's sentence."
"…Especially since prior to that you only got one hour of sleep today." Shocked, Steve put his fork down. Tony, for his part, was completely unapologetic. "Yeah, I can do that, too."
"How did you know that?" Tony shrugged like it was nothing.
"JARVIS told me," he explained. "He said you woke back up shortly after I left this morning and that you didn't go back to sleep again until around four. I figured it was probably best to let you catch up on that sleep." Steve sighed.
"I'm sorry." Tony shook his head.
"It's not a problem," he said. "I just want to know that you're alright. You are alright, right?"
"Right," Steve said without really thinking about it. When Tony did not look quite assured, he amended it. "Well, I have been having trouble relaxing, but it's not that serious."
"Are you having nightmares?" The hopeful note in Tony's voice caused Steve's heart to lurch uneasily.
"No," he said. "Not really." Tony frowned, the deeper disappointment apparent.
"Then what's wrong?" Steve hesitated to answer. He did not want to upset Tony, and he had a feeling that if he tried to talk about what was bothering him, that's all that would happen. He tried to come up with a way to phrase it that would minimize the potential emotional reaction, but he could not figure it out before Tony tried asking again. "Why don't we try this; when did you start feeling like this?"
"Two nights ago," he said somewhat guiltily. Tony's face remained stoic.
"Two nights ago," he repeated. "When I told you that I told Pepper and Happy that I wanted to get help." Steve could only nod and give a weak "yeah," as a response. Tony gave a deeper frown.
"Steve, you know I need to do something, right?"
"I know," he said. "I'm sorry. I just…"
"Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing?" The question gave Steve pause. He felt as though Tony had just asked the unanswerable.
"I don't know," he finally admitted. "I don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore – at least in terms of this…"
"But do you think this is going to help me?" Steve could see the fear in Tony's eyes. He knew Tony was just as scared as he was, and the last thing he wanted to do was led him astray, especially knowing what the consequences that were on the table.
"I think it sounds better than the alternative," he said.
"That still doesn't make it the right thing to do," Tony pointed out. "The right thing for me. Please, Steve, just tell me what you really think."
At that point, Steve knew he would not be able to beat around the bush anymore. He looked Tony right in the eye as he said, "I'm just scared, okay?" Steve looked away from Tony. A few moments passed before he heard him give any type of reaction.
"What?" Steve let out a frustrated huff of air.
"Last night, you asked me if I was afraid," he said. "Well, I am afraid. I'm afraid for you, I'm afraid for me, I'm afraid for our relationship…"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Tony said, cutting him off. "Is this… Are you breaking up with me?"
"No," Steve was quick to assure. "No, never. You are all I want. I'd never give that up."
"Then why are you talking like that?" Tony asked. "Because that's scaring me." Looking down, Steve took his hand.
"I'm afraid because we can never have a real relationship," he said.
"What do you mean?" Tony asked. "I thought this was a real relationship?"
"Not the kind I know," Steve said. "And certainly not the kind you want."
"Yeah?" Tony questioned. "And what kind is that?"
"The kind where you go out on dates," Steve said. "And hold your lover in public. The kind where no one is going to make you feel ashamed for who you are and what you're doing."
The kind you can have with a woman. Steve knew better than to say that caveat out loud. He did not need to make it explicit when his previous words held the implication so tightly. Still, he was no less shocked when Tony gave his hand a squeeze.
"Steve, we can have that kind of relationship," he said. "You know that, right?"
"So, you say," Steve said. "But yet my brain can't help but think otherwise."
"Well, your brain is wrong," Tony said. "I know you have a lot of internalized homophobia, but please trust me when I say it's a lot safer now than it was even just ten years ago. I've been out of the closet for almost seventeen years and the worst that's happened was the public humiliation I faced when it first happened. That's it. Granted, I did have the privilege of not having to worry about losing my job or my lifestyle, but still…"
"I know that," Steve said. "I know everyone already knows about you and realistically, this wouldn't put you in any danger, but I can't…" Steve had to take a deep breath. He couldn't figure out where his thoughts were going. He just knew he needed to make one thing clear to Tony. "You know I… Care about you, right?" He didn't risk using the "L" word for fear of a bad reaction. Hesitantly, Tony nodded.
"Yes," he said, a slight quiver of fear in his voice.
"And you know this doesn't affect the way I feel about you? It's just my own stupid fears." Tony frowned.
"It still doesn't sound like this conversation's going anywhere good." Again, Steve sighed.
"I want to be with you, Tony," Steve said. "What I'm asking is if you still want to be with me despite all of these fears?"
"Of course," Tony instantly responded. "I don't… Why would you think that?"
"Because I was scared of what you were asking me last night," Steve said. "I thought you wanted more out of this." At that, Tony began to look a teensy bit guilty.
"Alright," Tony said. "I'll admit that there have been a few times where I've kind of been frustrated with the pace our relationship is taking, but you need to know that I don't want anything more than what you're willing to give me."
"What if what I'm willing to give you isn't enough?" Steve asked.
"It'll always be enough," Tony assured. Steve agreed before looking down at their joined hands. He ran his thumb over the back of Tony's, carefully contemplating his words.
"I just want you to know that I still want you, even if these hang ups hold me back forever."
"I still want you, too," Tony said. "But these hang ups aren't going to hold you back forever."
"It feels like it," Steve said. "It feels like that fear will never go away, no matter how much I try."
Tony was silent for a moment, prompting Steve to look up at him. He had the same look in his eyes that he had whenever he was trying to fix something or figure out how to solve a problem. Normally, it was beautiful. Right now, it was concerning.
"What?"
"Nothing," Tony said. "I was just thinking." Steve raised an eyebrow to try to prompt him further, but Tony did not elaborate; he just reaffirmed his grip on Steve's hand. "Look, I don't know what to tell you. All I can say is 'hold on, it gets better,' which is about the worst advice you can give to someone in any situation, but… I am trying to understand, okay? I know that doesn't make any of this better, but I am trying." Steve nodded.
"I know," he said. "I know you're trying, and I shouldn't be putting this on you right now…"
"Steve, you can come to me with anything, anytime," Tony said. "Even if I am stressed and going through my own emotional crisis, I'll still listen. He covered Steve's hand with both of his. "Capuche?" Steve nodded.
"Yeah," he said. "Thank you." Tony smiled warmly.
"Anytime, my dear." He patted Steve's back as he said, "Now, you better get to eating before you have to reheat that again."
"Is that even safe?" Tony shrugged.
"I don't know," he said. "Never really thought about it; just went ahead and did it." Not wanting to have to find out for himself, Steve picked up the fork and took another bite. It was still just as good if a little cold.
"So, is there anything I missed out on at dinner with everyone else?" he asked as he began to scoop up another forkful of pasta.
"Other than Clint trying to pawn some of the vegetables off on the dog? No." Steve snorted in amusement.
"I doubt Natasha liked that," he remarked.
"Oh, she was shooting him death-glares the entire rest of the meal," Tony said with laughter clear in his voice. It made the corners of Steve's lips rise upwards even though he was chewing his food.
"I'll bet," he said after swallowing.
"I should let you know, though, that Rhodey's coming tomorrow," Tony said.
"Really? Cool." Steve had met Colonel Rhodes a few times; the two of them having been introduced at Tony's Christmas Party two years prior. Steve found Rhodes to be nice and easy-going. He could see through his banter with Tony how the two of them came to be friends. He could also see how protective he was of Tony. Their dynamic reminded him of himself and Bucky back in the day…
A sharp pang ran through Steve's heart. Grief was not as easy to push back as guilt. He used Tony's words to ground himself in the present.
"Yeah," he said. "I texted him earlier and we talked about all the stuff that happened in the last few days and he asked if I wanted him to be there on Saturday – you know, for moral support. I said yes, so he's coming over and he's going to stay the night."
"Okay," Steve said gratefully. The more people Tony had supporting him, the better. "What time is he coming?"
"He said around noon." Steve nodded. That gave them plenty of time to get the guest room ready.
"That sounds good," he said. "I'll make sure everything's set up beforehand."
"Good, good," Tony said. "I'm glad. Although, that means we're not going to be alone up here for a few days."
"A damn shame," Steve agreed. "That means we better make the most of the time we do have." A devilish smirk crossed Tony's face. "What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking we should talk about sex." Steve raised an eyebrow.
"I thought we just got through talking about sex," he pointed out.
"I mean really talk about sex," Tony said. "Safe sex, likes and dislikes, consent… You know, just so we're on the same page."
Steve could not argue with that. He ate another forkful of pasta before saying, "alright, I'm all ears."
Remember kids, ambiguity is an author's best friend.
Originally uploaded to FFN on 10/22/22.