Title: If I Could Turn Back Time (9/13)

Author: Cheryl A

Rating: Teen

Genre: Angst/Romance (A/U)

Notes: The story is set right after the re-election in the fourth season, then goes off from canon there.

Feedback: Want it, need it.. crave it! I appreciate all the feedback I got the last chapter. Please keep it up, it really motivates me and makes me glad that people are actually reading what I write! 

No copyright infringement intended. The characters belong to NBC, the song belongs to Cher

Thanks again to my beta Elizabeth, she is the best!

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Josh groaned as he rubbed his eyes, still swollen from the tears he cried all night. For a brief moment he thought that maybe the past twenty-four hours had all been a dream, a terrible nightmare and when he got up just maybe Donna would still be around to greet him when he got to his office. But as he looked down at what he was holding in his hands, Donna's tattered brown teddy Mr. Rogers, he knew the world he feared was a reality and that the woman he loved was gone.

The previous night's events seemed to all blur together. He remembered the fight he had with Donna and the terrible things they said to each other. He remembered moping in his office angry at himself for the way he had been treating Donna and allowing their relationship to fall in such disarray because of his insecurities and fears. He remembered promising himself that he would find a way to fix matters with Donna and apologize for his behavior and the hurt he caused. But that was before he got the call that changed his life, before he knew he was going to be robbed of any chance to fix his mistakes. A new wave of guilt washed over him as these events kept replaying and replaying in his head, he held the teddy bear tighter and closed his eyes as he fought the urge to slam his hand through the nearest window to try to end his pain.

The tension broke as Josh's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of music emerging from his alarm clock.

'If I could turn back time…If I could find a way…'

Josh rolled to the other side of the bed and placed his pillow over his head not wanting to exert the energy to shut of his radio alarm, which continued to grow progressively louder.

'I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay.'

Since it was a Saturday, why his alarm was going off in the first place was a mystery to Josh as he only sets it to go off on weekdays. But Josh had bigger things to worry about than his malfunctioning alarm clock, like how he was going to live his life without Donna being a part of it.

"I don't know why I did the things I did…. I don't know why I said the things I said"

The guilt continued to eat at him. How could he let Donna die without her knowing how he really felt about her and how much he valued her both personally and professionally?

'I didn't mean to hurt you… I didn't wanna see you go… I know I made you cry… but baby..'

She had given him a chance to explain himself and to take back the awful words he had said to her. But he was a coward and he let his stubborn ego win, so he let her walk out of his office and unknowingly out of his life completely.

As the chorus of the song repeated, he realized that he had awoken to the same song yesterday and how it was odd that it was being repeated again today at roughly the same time. He listened carefully to the words and related to them in way he had never done before, sharing the wish that if only it was possible to turn back time.

'My world was shattered, I was torn apart.
Like some took a knife and drove it deep into my heart.
You walked out that door, I swore that I didn't care
but I lost everything darling then and there'

Josh turned to face his alarm clock as he continued to listen intently, still holding Donna's teddy close. He could see how some people could find comfort in music, even if it was Cher singing, her words provided him some relief and made him feel that somebody understood how he felt inside.

'To strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong
I know that I was blind and ooh…

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way'

The song faded as the chorus continued to repeat itself, Josh was grateful for the momentarily respite it provided him from his grief as he resigned himself to spending the rest of the day sulking in bed.

"Good Morning D.C., it's Friday the 13th and you know what that means! Stay away from black cats and don't walk under ladders, weird things happen today so be prepared."

Josh rubbed his ears, not quite believing what he just heard. Did he just say it was Friday the 13th, didn't he just hear this speech yesterday? How is this even possible? He lied in bed confused, as the D.J continued his morning talk.

"That last song goes out to Josh, from an anonymous admirer who says it's never too late to fix your mistakes. Sometimes miracles do happen and we get a second chance with the ones we love. Josh if you are listening, I hope you savor your second chance buddy as those don't come around too often." The radio D.J announced before cutting to commercial.

Josh jumped out of bed, ran his fingers through his hair and slapped himself on the cheeks to try to wake up. This has to be a dream, this can't be real, as there is no way that the worst day of his life is repeating itself. He ran to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face as he waited for his cable box to turn on to C-SPAN so that he could hear the morning news.

"In other news this Friday morning, President Bartlett's advisors will be meeting with House Majority leaders to try to reach a compromise on the President's hefty Health Care reform bill, which has yet to leave committee but is due to be brought onto the floor for a vote sometime in the next few days."

'This can't be happening' Josh thought as he turned off the TV and sat back down on his bed in shock. He picked up Mr. Rogers and questions started to race through his mind. Was it really possible that his wish had come true and time had rolled back twenty four hours? Was it possible that if he got dressed and went into the office he would find Donna at her desk, just like every other morning? Was it possible he had just been given a chance to change fate?

Even though it was early, he had to know for sure that what was happening around him was real. He needed to know that his mind was not just playing tricks on him as he reached over to his phone to call Donna's cell. As the phone continued to ring, he held his breath as he hoped deep down he would be greeted by her sweet voice on the end.

"Hello.." Donna murmured in the phone.

Josh felt his heart race at the sound of her voice, it wasn't exactly sweet sounding but it was her voice none the less, meaning she was still alive. A grin spread across his face and for the first time in a long while he felt renewed and full of hope.

"Josh… are you there?"

Josh froze; he realized he didn't know what to say or how to begin. He had so much he needed to tell her but at the moment he found himself completely tongue-tied.

"Yeah Donna..Umm..umm.. I was just calling to say Good Morning." He finally blurted out realizing a simple greeting was the best way to start.

On the other end Donna rolled her eyes, it was far too early in the morning to play one of Josh's many mind games with her and she definitely was not in the mood as she realized she had missed her alarm and overslept.

"Good Morning to you too Josh, now what do you need. I already told you I prepared those estimates for the health care bill for your meeting with Congressman Jackson this morning and they are safely sitting on my desk."

'Her notes!' Josh thought to himself, he had to get to work so that he could make sure she gives him the correct notes to avoid the fiasco of yesterday.

"Umm.. thanks… I was just calling to tell you I have a surprise for you when you get in."

Donna took a deep breath, lately a surprise from Josh was never a good thing. There was a time that she used to revel in his surprises, whether it be a trip to the salon, a nice lunch or dinner or the unexpected bouquet of flowers at her desk. But now his surprises just meant one thing, more work to do and she was not looking forward to that as she had plans this evening with Jack that she refused to cancel.

"Sound great… I'll see you when I get in" Donna said trying her best to sound positive.

"Alright… well drive safely." Josh quickly said before he even realized the words were escaping his mouth.

Donna hung up the phone as Josh danced around his room with Mr. Rogers.

"Donna was right about you Mr. Rogers! Everything did turn out alright in the morning! I have another chance! I can tell her how I feel! I can save her!" Josh grinned as he continued to dance around his room and thank the bear as if he had made the miracle happen.

He then realized he had so much to do, he had to make up for all of his mistakes. He was given this second chance and he was not going to screw it up. He was going to live up to his promise to do everything he could to fix things with Donna and save her from her tragic fate.

He called the florist and ordered the largest arrangement of pink tulips and roses possible, Donna's favorite flowers. He wanted it on her desk to surprise her when she got in, no questions asked.

He pulled out his blue shirt from his closet still in the bag from the cleaners and showed no signs of the coffee stains he created yesterday. He then hopped in the shower and got dressed.

He poured a bowl of cereal to quickly eat, but as he opened the fridge he remembered that he was out of milk. Knowing that he was also out of clean coffee mugs, he skipped his morning coffee not wanting to take any chances that it would spill on him.

Josh grabbed his backpack and hastily locked his apartment. He quickly turned the corner to get to his car when he ran smack dab into one of his teenage neighbor's who had been holding a cup of coffee he had brought from one of the street vendors.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Lyman." The teenager apologized sincerely, he knew Josh was a powerful man in politics and had always been intimidated by him.

Josh looked down at his blue shirt which was now covered in coffee, in a similar pattern to how it looked after his coffee accident yesterday.

The teenager panicked as he struggled to continue to apologize for ruining Josh's shirt. "It was an accident sir, I promise. I always try my best to watch where I am going and to be careful. But you know, sometimes you just can't control things in life and stuff happens that you can't help. Like my coffee spilling on you, I didn't mean for it to happen. Please don't send the F.B.I to my house or something like that, I'm really sorry again."

Josh looked at the young kid and tried his best to muster up a smile, "Don't worry about it kid."

Josh quickly turned around and headed back to his apartment to change out of his stained shirt.

'This is not happening! History will not repeat itself' He thought to himself as he slammed the door and unbuttoned his freshly stained shirt in a panic. He hastily changed into the only other clean shirt he had in his closet, the same shirt that he had to been forced to wear when the coffee spilt on his blue shirt yesterday.

He hurried out of his apartment once again, not wanting to be late to set his plans for the day in motion. He refused to acknowledge that he couldn't stop the tragic events from yesterday from repeating themselves. He swore to himself that he would not allow fate to take the woman he loved away from him again. No matter what happens, by the end of the night Donna was going to know exactly how he truly feels about her and she would understand just how much he loves her.

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A/N : Credit to Cher for the song, "If I could turn back time"

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