He held his breath as the yellow light of the flickering lamps passed by- rolling it over his tongue, imagining he could taste it become stale in his throat. The trees lining the park fence seemed to be burning, red and yellow leaves aflame in the cold fall night. His chest started to prickle, the trapped air seemingly trying to escape through his pores.
It was a habit he'd begun since I he'd /I disappeared. It had been unconscious, which had to be a sign of something- Shindou wasn't sure what. He'd never given it a second thought. If he started to wonder things would seem more real.
After Touya stood him up, he'd caught up with Waya just as he was heading towards the elevator. He'd pulled the surprised pro out of the crowd and towards the stairwell, and they'd spent the rest of the night playing speed go at Waya's apartment. It had been fun- if he ignored the confused stares his friend threw at him when he thought Shindou wasn't looking.
The lights danced to his right, giving flame to a firefly that flickered twice before it disappeared into the gloom. The bushes prickled under the glow- leaves on end like a cat ready to pounce. He closed his eyes as he passed the park entrance, stopping himself from seeing the weathered sign to what had once been his favorite place to think- something he rarely did.
The air burned in his lungs, his heart beating in his temple. He quickened his pace, struggling to make it past the last fence.
His sneakers caught a crack in the sidewalk, causing him to fumble sideways into the black metal fence before he opened them again. Holding himself up on the top bar, he let out his breath, inhaling sharply as he watched the firefly flicker once more, lighting the bark of a tree before all became dark.
A chill swept through his lungs, ice gripping at his pulse. Words danced in his head, begging to become thoughts. He broke into a run, keeping the sight- and memories- at bay.
He made it to the corner, inspecting his sneakers for scuffs- cursing at the black marks from the blacktop that marked the entryway. His limbs were thrumming from the run- more winded than he'd ever been from such a quick exercise. Yet another thing that'd changed.
He turned the corner onto his street, the familiar homes calming his nerves.
It had been hard passing the park the first time after Sai disappeared. The trees held so many memories…
He remembered walking home with his uncle from getting ice cream. It had been a new parlor, and though neither of them liked it as well as their own, it had been nice to go somewhere new. He remembered turning the corner and his grandfather putting his fingers across his lips, pushing the air back in his lungs. He'd panicked, grabbing at his arm, trying to pull it away so he could breathe, only to be lifted under his arms and carried down the block. Finally, he was let to breathe.
Catching his breath, he'd turned to his uncle- furious. He'd merely shaken his head.
"You were being rude, brat. You have to hold your breath when you pass a cemetery. It's not polite to breathe in front of people who can't."
He'd grumbled under his breath- being careful not to let his uncle hear. His great uncle had been American- a superstitious one, apparently. He was always saying the strangest things. His mother had never let his uncle take him out after that, appalled at how he'd manhandled her son.
They'd never gone back to that parlor.
He stopped.
He'd never found Sai's grave.
He pulled his phone from his pocket, dialing the too-familiar number one last time. It rang twice, before the voice mail answered. I Odd. He must have turned it off when I was calling. /I
Deciding to try Touya again tomorrow, Shindou made his way up the familiar steps.