Not a single word was uttered by the driver as he made his way to our destination, which allowed my paranoid imagination to roam about, theorizing what could possibly be going on. No matter what scenarios I could come up with, none of them could account for the way Natsu had spoken to me on the phone. Whatever scenes my brain concocted were nothing compared to the reality presented to me when the car stopped in front of my work.
Police and security surrounded my car, which was still parked where I left it Friday night. Some were taking photos of the damage while others looked to be trying to pull fingerprints.
All I could do was stand there in shock as several people walked towards me. My eyes burned with emotions trying to overwhelm me, but I dug my nails into my palms and refused to allow myself that moment of weakness.
I am aware of voices as they speak to me, but my mind is processing the state of my car. Windows, lights, and mirrors are all shattered. The tires have been slashed. Dents and cuts cover the body, likely all caused by the sizable axe embedded into the hood. Both front doors are open, as is the trunk, and the words "Cheating Whore" are carved into the paint on the front passenger side. As I stood there, the last piece of the puzzle was placed, and I quietly let one word slip as my mind screamed at me.
"Fuck."
Everyone around me stopped and looked at me. They had been trying – unsuccessfully – to get any sort of response to their questions; I'm pretty certain that's not what they were expecting me to say. Finally able to move, I started walking towards my ruined car in order to confirm my suspicions.
"Lucy, wait!" Natsu's words registered in my head, but I ignored him and stayed my course.
My entire being is so on-edge that my fight-or-flight mode kicked into overdrive when I felt a hand grasp my left arm. I didn't even realize my instinct had chosen the 'fight' option until I was staring into Natsu's dark eyes, his right hand still on my arm as his left gripped the fist I had aimed at his face. He didn't even look surprised by my actions, only concerned for my well-being.
"Lucy, talk to me." Natsu's voice was soothing, and calmed me enough that I stopped struggling to get away from him shortly after I'd begun.
"I need to see," was all I could manage to say. My eyes found their way back to my car. I can't see inside; there are too many people blocking the view.
"What do you need to see?"
With great effort, I pulled my gaze from the destroyed vehicle. I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply as I did so; it's difficult, but I focus on the man standing in front of me. His hands released their firm grip, and I can feel them trailing warmth up and down my arms as he attempts to soothe and relax me. It's working. After a few more moments, I opened my eyes again.
"I need to see if my glove box was opened or tampered with."
"It was opened," Natsu stated, not stopping his movements for even a moment. "All of the paperwork was still there, from what I could see."
The ground shifts uncomfortably under my feet, and I feel myself stumble. One of Natsu's arms is around me in an instant, keeping me upright.
"Just...just paperwork?" I inquire shakily, but don't wait for his reply. "Natsu, I keep my gun in there."
"Shit…" His voice was low and calm, but no longer soothing. I could practically feel the storm raging within him. "Lucy, do you know who did this?"
Guilt overwhelmed me and I was no longer able to hold his gaze. Of course I know who did this; the fucking asshole just can't - no, he won't - leave me alone. I gave a barely perceptible nod, my head hanging in shame. This is my fault. Again. And much like last time, someone else was being dragged into the convoluted mess that is my life.
"Lucy, look at me," Natsu commanded.
Still looking at the ground, I bit my lower lip and shook my head. One of his hands left its place on my arm and move close to my face; I flinch out of reflex. The fingers he placed under my chin were surprisingly gentle when he tilted my head up. My eyes remained downcast a little longer before I looked up to meet his again.
"It was that bastard who hurt you." Fire burned behind his eyes in sharp contrast to the icy tone of his voice.
There was no doubt in his words; he did not require any verbal confirmation from me. The fear I know showed in my eyes and the tears spilling down my cheeks were answer enough.
"You okay to talk to the police?" I shook my head again. Natsu sighed, then guided me back to the officers who had attempted to question me not long before.
"My employee is not emotionally capable of answering your questions at this time," Natsu informed them, keeping a protective arm around my shoulders. He sounds so professional, like he's done this exact thing many times before. "If you have a card, I will schedule an appointment for her to come to the station tomorrow or Tuesday."
"That will be fine," one of them said, pulling a card from his wallet and handing it to Natsu. He looked at me when he continued, "get some rest, we'll talk soon."
A heavy silence settled between us as I allowed myself to be led inside. Natsu looked pissed; I can't blame him, though. I'd be furious if I were in his position and one of my employees led a dangerous man to my business and left a huge fucking mess to clean up. We're approaching the doors to his office when I find the courage to speak.
"I'm so sorry," a painful sob tried to escape, but I managed to swallow it and continue. "I don't know how he found out I work here, and it was never my intention to drag my personal problems to work. And I understand you're angry with me – I am, too – but I'll put in my notice tomorrow morning, and after that I will no longer be a burden to you or your company. I'm sorry, Natsu."
"Are you serious?" Natsu pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know for a fact you're not stupid, but you sound like a complete idiot right now."
Well, that made me feel better.
"There is no need for you to leave." He pulled a pair of snifters and a decanter of honey-brown liquid from his desk as he spoke. "Actually, you'll be safer if you stay."
"But you won't be," I mutter in reply, taking the glass he offered as we sit on the plush couch.
"I'm not angry with you, Lucy. I'm angry that someone had the balls to trespass – twice – in order to hurt and intimidate you. Neither of those things are your fault, so please stop apologizing for things you had no control over."
"You seemed pretty angry with me on the phone."
"And I'm sorry about that, but I just needed to make sure you were safe. I save that tone for when I want to make sure stubborn people will follow orders instead of arguing," he said while giving me a knowing look. "Would you happen to know anyone in this room who might, perhaps, be a bit stubborn?"
"Possibly you."
He chuckled at my comment, and I took my first sip from my glass. It burns as it travels down my throat, but not just the normal alcohol burn. Apparently Natsu likes his liquor as spicy as his food. I'm surprised, once again, that he's not trying to push for information or even an explanation of why this is happening, just sitting there, patiently reassuring me until I am ready or willing to talk.
Yet another difference between him and everyone else. I love my friends, but they push and push and force me into talking when I don't want to or when I'm not ready. At the slightest hint something is wrong, the pushing starts all over again. It's exhausting. Because of -or in spite of - this, I feel like talking for once. Not that I really think Natsu can do anything to help, but I did drag this to his doorstep and I can see from the look in his eyes that the desire to know is more than just curiosity.
Fuck, I hope I don't regret this decision.
"I don't usually share this with people I don't know well," I began, "or at all, really. I'm making you the exception to this; I feel as though I owe you that much."
"You don't need to tell me anything, and before you do...I want to apologize for not stepping in and stopping that piece of shit from hurting you. I should have come back the second he got too close to you. Hell, I shouldn't have left you outside alone like that in the first place."
"But if you had come back out, or if you had stayed...if you had done anything other than what I asked of you, we would not be friends right now. I would have been polite to you yesterday, and told you to fuck off at the end of the night. I would not be the slightest bit comfortable with you, and I sure as hell wouldn't be up for having a drink and a chat." I took another sip of the bourbon and it both warmed me up and calmed me down. Natsu seems to take my honesty well, which is good. "Guess I'll start from the beginning. You may want to get comfortable; this is a bit of a story."
Both of us slipped off our shoes. Natsu typed something on his phone before signaling me to begin.
"Well, for starters, my last name isn't Ashley. It's Heartfilia. I used a fake name in order to hide. I knew it wouldn't last forever, but it did give me a short respite." I took a breath and continued. "Cana and I were roommates for our first two years of college. Just after classes started our second year, her boyfriend's frat house was throwing a party. I was not interested in going, but she managed to persuade me. That's the night I met the man who has turned my life into a living hell: Bora Upland.
"He seemed nice. We talked a bit, danced a bit, he'd get me drinks. He tried to kiss me after we'd both had a few, but I told him I wasn't interested in anything while I was in college. Bora was upset at this, but said he understood and we continued to drink and dance and talk throughout the night. I found out he lied when I was thoroughly drunk and he grabbed me and kissed me. I slapped him and told him to get away from me and stay there if he couldn't respect my wishes; he was pretty angry and stormed out of the party after that.
"After the party, I would see him everywhere. I know it sounds paranoid, but it wasn't just at school, or here and there because I knew what he looked like. I saw him nearly every time I left the dorm, and it didn't matter where I went. I saw him on my way to classes, when I went to the mall, tiny obscure cafes and book shops I'd been going to for months. Everywhere. I eventually had to quit my job because I usually worked evenings, and I was scared to walk home alone. I even saw him when I was home during winter holiday that year.
"Turns out, he told his father that he'd met the woman he was destined to marry - seriously, those were his words. Since we're both from prominent families, his father contacted mine to arrange Bora and I to be wed. I, obviously, was not pleased about that little tidbit of information."
My narration was interrupted by a fit of coughing coming from Natsu. He was doing his best to breathe properly, and his face had turned a dark shade of red from lack of oxygen.
"Wait," he coughed again, "just a sec. Your last name is Heartfilia."
"Yeah, I thought we'd already established that?"
"You're the Heartfilia heiress? Not that I mind, but what the hell are you doing working IT at my company instead of running your own?"
"Technically, yes, I am the Heartfilia heiress. And I work here because this is what I chose to do with my life. I'm not just some fucking broodmare to be sold off so my family could expand their stupid business, and I've never been interested in running my father's company. This was not the first time something like this happened, which just pissed me off that much more. And that's exactly what I told him when I found out that Bora's father had contacted him."
Natsu poured more bourbon for each of us before he spoke again. Good move on his part because it allowed me to calm down a little.
"So, what happened the first time?"
"I told my father I wasn't interested, but he didn't care, and since I was seventeen at the time, he was planning on forcing the issue. He wanted me to marry the son of one of his business associates, though he wouldn't say which one until both of us had been informed of the impending nuptials. I mean, what the hell seventeen-year-old wants to get married to some guy she doesn't know?" I laugh bitterly and take another drink from my glass. "Though I guess we'd met once, since we danced at a party one time. I'd probably be married right now, except the guy didn't want to get married either. If I ever find out his name, I'm going to figure out a way to thank him properly."
"For breaking the engagement?"
"And for how he did it."
Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair. We're getting off topic, and as much as I'd like to stay off, I would rather get this over with.
"I'll tell you about it another time."
"And I'll hold you to that," he smirks.
"You're such a pain in the ass."
"Only by request," he replied smugly.
"Oh my god, Natsu!"
"Yeah, that's usually the reaction I get, too."
"You are such a pervert," I groaned, grabbing one of the throw pillows and hitting him in the head. As completely idiotic he's being right now, I know he's doing it to make me laugh. It's working, and I appreciate him for his efforts. The mood stays light for a short time, but it couldn't last.
"Shall I continue?" He nods, and I pick up where I left off. "After ranting at my dad for trying – again – to sell me off like livestock, he explained that he was not going to agree to anything until after speaking with me. He said he would turn down the offer if I was not interested.
"When I returned to school, half the people I knew were congratulating me on my engagement."
"Your father accepted against your wishes?"
"No, that's the thing, when I told him about the party and Bora seemingly stalking me, he was rather sickened. He immediately walked us to his office to call and decline. He insisted I be present for the call, so that I would know without a doubt that it was placed."
"Then why..." Natsu began.
"Because Bora's daddy never said 'no' to him, so he was used to getting whatever he asked for or demanded. And he decided to ask for me. He took the rejection as me playing hard-to-get. After I dispelled the rumors, I spoke to him directly for the first time in months. I told him again that I was not romantically interested in him, and that even if I were, that I didn't plan on dating or getting married until after I was done with college."
"You didn't date at all in college?" Natsu interrupted.
"No, I didn't. Do you want me to continue?"
"Yeah... Sorry."
"So, at that point, it was early second semester, second year. Another month came and went when I realized my mistake; I had implied that I eventually wanted to get married. Even with the multiple rejections, he took that as an invitation to continue stalking me, though he would insist he was proving his love and devotion to me. Around Valentine's day, he started sending me gifts; every single one had a card professing his undying love." I couldn't help rolling my eyes as I said this.
"Flowers, balloons, and chocolates were delivered every day – sometimes to my room, and sometimes to me while I was in class – for nearly three weeks. Everything was thrown out immediately. Then the gifts became more extravagant. Designer clothes, shoes, jewelry, lingerie...he even tried sending me a car – twice – with the same result each time. I hired a service to come by daily for over a month to pick up whatever was delivered and return it to either his house or his father's house.
"He just refused to believe that I wanted to be left alone, and that I specifically wanted nothing to do with him."
I closed my eyes and let my head fall to the back of the couch. Sharing all of this with Natsu has brought up so many memories that I thought I was emotionally over, but I had only pushed them far away. My throat constricted as everything I had repressed came flooding back. Pulling in a shuddering breath, I pushed it all away again.
"It all stopped seven weeks before finals. No more gifts, no more stalking, I didn't even see him anywhere on campus. Thinking he had given up, I was finally able to relax and get back to life as usual. Admittedly, it was mostly classes and studying, but I did find myself able to leave the dorm unaccompanied again. I even managed to make a new friend, Mary; we had several classes together, so she became my study buddy for the rest of the semester.
"End of term arrived, and I thought Bora had finally decided to leave me alone. Oh, how wrong I was. I stepped out of the door after my last final and there he fucking was. Wearing a tux, down on one knee, with a small band playing behind him, holding a bouquet of red roses and the most hideously ostentatious ring I have ever seen.
"I was a little embarrassed, but mostly I was pissed off. I yelled in front of everyone that I would never date him, never marry him and to stay the hell away from me. Mary had witnessed the whole thing, having been right behind me when I stepped out. As we walked back to the dorms, she was able to talk me into going to an end of year bash to blow off some steam." I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on top of them as I continued my story.
"She said she'd be my designated driver so I could unwind with a few drinks and not have to worry about how to get back to the dorms; she kept me company while I drank and danced. I had a few more than I should have, but I wasn't worried, because I had someone with me; my wonderful friend helped me to the restroom when I needed to vomit, got me a glass of water, and told me she would make sure I made it home safe. I passed out in her car shortly after we left the party."
"But you didn't make it home, did you?"
"No. Not to my home, anyway."
Natsu looked like he had another question but was unsure how to ask. He didn't need to ask; it was so plain on his face.
"Mary was Bora's cousin. She lived in my dorm and she would report to him every time she heard my schedule or saw where I was going. That's how he knew all my favorite places to go, and that's why he was able to so successfully stalk me. When I turned him down that morning, she talked me into going to the party with the intent of drugging me and delivering me to him."
"How long?"
"Three months," I whispered, looking down as I swirled the small bit of liquid left in my glass. I'm too ashamed of what happened. So many mistakes I made, and so many things I should have done differently. Above all else, I had no desire to see pity in Natsu's eyes.
"I know you cannot marry without consent from both parties, so why...?" His words faltered. I'm sure he suspects the answer, but I do not intend to leave any room for doubt.
"In his twisted mind, he reasoned that I would have to marry him if he got me pregnant."
The sound of glass shattering forced my head up to look at Natsu. Remnants of the snifter that had been in his left hand now littered the back of the couch, and light gleamed off several shards embedded in his flesh. It doesn't look like he's even aware of what's happened.
"Na-Natsu?"
"Yeah?" He's not looking at me, his gaze far off and full of fire.
"Let me help you with this," I said softly as I stood from my position and carefully took hold of his left wrist, urging him off the couch with me. "Come on."
"What?" He looked up at me, then at my hand around his wrist, and finally noticed the blood and glass. "Oh. Well, shit."
I grabbed a first aid kit off the wall of his office as I led him into his private restroom. Not one word – or even a single sound – passed his lips as I pulled the broken glass from his palm and fingers. He didn't even flinch as I flushed and cleaned the wounds as best as I was able and bandaged his hand. The only thing he did was watch intently as I worked.
"Is there more?" He finally broke the silence while I finished wrapping the gauze.
"No," I replied, placing a piece of medical tape over the end to hold the gauze and smoothing my fingers gently over my handywork. "I think I got all the glass out, though you might want to have someone check it if you feel like anything is still in any of the cuts."
"That's not what I meant, Lucy. You seemed like you had more to say, but I distracted you. Again." He paused and glanced at his hand, turning it to check my work. "Thank you for the fix up. Let me know if you ever want to transfer to the medical unit."
"I was punished," I told him as I cleaned up the small mess I had made; curious about his comment, but ignoring it for now. "Whenever I tried to run away, or was disobedient, or when the pregnancy tests came back negative."
He followed me back into his office, not saying a word. This was so different from how all of my other friends handled this information. Each of them telling me what I need to do, pushing for action and pulling information from my like it was a fucking interrogation. Natsu seemed content to allow me whatever time I need to take in telling my tale, which is rather refreshing. As we clean the glass off the couch, the silence gets to be a little too much.
"You're not going to ask what they did? Honestly, I expected more questions out of you."
"I have many questions, but you've been through enough already. It's not right to dig for information when you're obviously vulnerable and emotionally raw. Plus, appeasing my curiosity is not part of your job description. If there is something you want me to know, you'll tell me, and it doesn't have to be right now."
"Thank you. I think I might be talked out for now, but I do have one more thing I want to share with you."
What the fuck are you doing, Lucy? My mind screams at me.
I don't really know, but I'm doing it anyway. I answer myself.
There was no mental argument to reach a compromise this time. For some reason, I trust Natsu completely. Something inside me told me he needed to know the extent of what had been done, and words cannot truly describe it. My hands reach for the hem of my shirt so I can remove it. Before even an inch of skin is showing, Natsu's hands are holding mine in place.
"What are you doing, Lucy?"
"Trusting you."
"I don't understand," he says. His head is cocked to the left, causing his pink hair to partially fall into his face.
"Talking takes too long, and I just can't right now, so I'm going to show you instead."
I pull one of my hands free and place it on his chest, gently pushing him back to his previous position on the couch. After taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I pulled my shirt off.
Natsu let out a soft gasp at the sight. The proof of my punishments was a constant reminder of what I had endured. Scars of different shapes, sizes, and textures littered my abdomen and back, though Natsu could only see the front for now. My face burned as he sat up and leaned closer. His eyes traced every scar as if he were committing them to memory, but never strayed to anything else.
His gaze lingered near my right hip and I knew he was counting the tally marks. There were nineteen in total – one for each negative, so I would know how many times I had disappointed Bora.
When I'm certain he's seen all of the marks on the front, I slide my hair over my right shoulder and turn to show my back. Though I know it is worse, I no longer remember what it looks like. I haven't been able to bear the sight of my back in several years.
My brain chooses this moment to remind me of the slow weeks Bora spent carving his name across my lower back, always spending time on his 'art' after he had raped me so that I would be too weak, tired, and worn out to fight back. I remember Mary asking once why he didn't just brand me with a hot iron...because the pain could be drawn out so much more this way. He laughed after saying that.
Tears burned my eyes then slipped down my cheeks as the ghosts of my past returned all at once, and all I could feel was darkness.
Thank you to everyone who added my story to your favorite/follow lists (and the few that did the same for me). Extra special thanks and love to my reviewers: Copperreign12, rao hyuga 18, samurai of sunflowers, LadyNerdyNerf, jessifer89, and RequiemMage.
I'm probably going to post twice each week, since I already have the chapters completed. Once I post chapter 10, updates will be slower, since I haven't written new material for this story in nearly a year. I will try to keep them regular, though. Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. There's some drama coming soon, and a moment I know some of you are looking forward to.
TTFN, Lovelies!