"Come on, Lu, it's not that bad," Levy insisted as she straightened her white mask. "Maybe you'll find your prince charming in the sea of men waiting for you downstairs."
"I doubt there is a single charming guy in the crowd," I told her as I checked my appearance one more time. At least I was allowed to choose my own dress - a dark blue, floor-length gown encrusted with tiny crystals that sparkled like the stars when the light hit just right. "But I know it'll be less of a meat market with you here to rescue me."
We both laughed a bit, the mood already lighter. Once my mask was secured, Levy and I linked elbows and made our way down to the ballroom.
Father went above and beyond for what was just supposed to be a small party. He even hired a quartet to play classical pieces instead of hiring a DJ so I could at least enjoy dancing to modern music. My small saving grace in this was that I was able to talk him out of announcing my arrival to my party; I had no desire to be swarmed by suitors as soon as I left the safety of my bedroom. Since I don't know many of the people who were invited, and insisted that there be at least a semi-equal number of girls at the party, it is not likely someone will know who I am unless they already know me...hopefully.
Unfortunately, father had other ideas, stealing me away from Levy early on and introducing me to damn-near every old friend and business associate he invited, as well as their sons.
By the end of the first hour I've been appraised by a few too many people and have yet to make it to the refreshment table even though I haven't eaten since breakfast. It did not take even that long for me to realize that Levy's optimistic comment while getting ready was far too much to hope for; there's not one single guy here that would be interested in me for more than my body or my family's money. All I want to do is grab a plate of food and a drink and hide out in my room until this disaster is over, but that's not really an option, since my jerk father would just send up a maid to fetch me back into the depths of formal hell anyway.
I don't even have a chance to sneak out of the stuffy room for some air before I'm pulled onto the dance floor to waltz by some jackass that didn't even bother to ask. Knowing my father would rage at me for being impolite to one of his guests, I allowed the rude gesture to go unchallenged and tolerated it as much as I was able. Things were fine at first, but I grew more uncomfortable as his right hand slid down my back the longer the dance continued. I was pulled closer than I wanted to be to him and tried to pull away, with him following each of my steps with ease as his hand slid to just above my ass.
"You look stunning in that dress," he commented so only I could hear. The rules of etiquette require I thank him for the compliment, and I would have done so if he hadn't made a follow-up statement. "I would love to see what you look like out of it."
With the song coming to an end, I accidentally slipped a little, landing the sharp heel of my stiletto directly onto his toes. Oops.
My release was immediate, and I gave a slight curtsey before making my way towards the tables of food. Another song started up and I was once again pulled into a dance I wanted no part of, with yet another partner who decided to be a little more familiar with me than was appropriate for a complete stranger. This continued to happen over and over again without a break for more songs than I cared to count.
With my patience running thin and another handsy suitor trying to discreetly feel me up, an unlikely savior placed his hand on my dance partner's shoulder, stopping the almost-assault.
"May I cut in?"
I did not recognize the mask he wore from the throngs of men I'd been introduced to tonight; it was unique, fashioned to look like a red dragon. With the look in his eyes, I could almost believe him capable of breathing fire.
The man I was dancing with winced slightly as he removed his hands from me, though he seemed reluctant to do so, and stomped away without a word. The dragon held his left hand out for me to take, and within moments he was leading me a little clumsily through the steps.
"Thank you," I said, my gratitude genuine. "Though it's not really common practice for the dragon to rescue the damsel, is it?"
"I guess it depends on the dragon," his light chuckle comforted me. "You didn't exactly look like a willing participant, and I get the feeling he would have become intimately familiar with the heel of your shoe if his hand moved any lower."
"So it was him you were rescuing from me?" I couldn't hide my amusement.
"Mostly." His hand squeezed mine lightly, and I noticed we were moving towards the edge of the dancefloor closest to the hallway. "And you kinda look like you want to be here as much as I do, so I thought we could use this as cover for a quick escape?"
He's giving me a choice in the matter? It surprises me more than a little; I'm so often dragged around with no fucks given to what it is I want. But I have a choice this time, and it makes my smile so wide my face might just burst.
"Sounds like an adventure."
We reach the door as the song comes to a close, the chaos of other couples leaving the floor hiding our exit from the stuffy room. His left hand is still grasping my right as I lead him closer to the kitchen, lured by the delicious smells coming from within.
"I don't think we're allowed in there," my dragon states as we close in on where the staff is still working.
"They won't mind us sneaking through to the back gardens," I assure him, only to receive a questioning glance.
"Are you friends with the Heartfilias?" He's stopped our momentum to ask, but I give a light tug to keep going.
"Something like that," I shrug as I peek into the kitchen before taking a step inside.
The clack of my shoes is loud enough to alert the kitchen staff of our presence and we both freeze just inside the doorway.
"You're not supposed to be in here during the party," Spetto, our housekeeper, chastised me.
"Please, Spetto, I can't breathe in there and there's no way to reach the refreshments without being dragged into dancing. My friend and I just wanted to grab a snack and get some air."
I awaited her answer with bated breath as she eyed my companion.
"Alright then, but don't spend too much time." She quickly set each of us up with a plate of food and bottled water before ushering us out of the back kitchen door.
"So," I began once we found a suitably quiet resting place, "why don't you want to be here?"
"It just seems stupid for someone to sell off their child for financial gain. We're living in modern times, and people should be able to choose who they want to marry instead of being forced into it by their parents."
"I agree. Then, why did you come if you don't believe in this kinda charade?" I don't know why I thought eating would be a good idea; even though I'm hungry, this whole damn party has killed my appetite and I end up taking sips of my water and ignoring the food.
"My dad got the invitation, and told me I should 'represent our family,' and 'keep good ties with the Heartfilias,'" he used air quotes when he mockingly stated those lines. "I don't really know what that means, since I've never actually met any of them. Either way, I hope the heiress doesn't settle for any of the creeps in there. I mean, I saw how they were treating you, and I doubt they'd be any different towards her."
That last comment caused me to snort. This guy must be more than a little dense not to realize who he is talking to. I can't find it in myself to correct him. It's nice to be an unknown for once, and I feel like he'll be more honest this way.
"If she has a choice in the matter, she won't settle," I told him matter-of-factly. "I know her pretty well, and she isn't even interested in dating right now, let alone marriage. I don't know what the hell her dad was thinking - turning her birthday party into this shit-show - but it's not what she wanted."
Neither of us spoke for a while as my words sank in. And just what possessed me to unload all that on a complete stranger? Maybe that's the point - he doesn't know me, and it's not like I'm going to see him again after my party anyway. Further musings are splintered at the sound of his voice.
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"I'm just wondering if...if you're interested in dating?" He runs a hand through his dark hair, for once during this conversation avoiding looking directly at me. "Like, going on a date...with me?"
Never in my life have I heard someone so nervous to ask me out. My automatic response has always been a firm 'no,' since too many stupid boys only want to get into my pants or my wallet, but with this one I hesitated. He doesn't know who I am so it can't be for money, and he hasn't even attempted to touch me inappropriately. Maybe...maybe he just wants to get to know me? The more I think about our limited interactions this evening, the more I like the idea.
"I think tha-"
"Lu!"
Gods damn it, Levy! Of all the times to interrupt…
"Lu," she called again as she got closer, Gajeel trailing after her like a shadow. "Your absence has been noticed…"
"Damn. Alright, I'm coming," I tell her as I stand up, then turn to my dragon. "I'm sorry, I have to go back in. Thank you for the dance. I hope we get a chance to do it again sometime."
Levy and I start back towards the house and my personal hell. As we get further away, I can hear Gajeel talking to my mystery dragon.
"Oi, Salamander, what the hell happened to your hair?"
I did not hear his reply.
Much to my dismay, I did not see him again after returning to the ballroom, and my night continued to be filled with jerks who didn't understand simple things like hand placement, and appropriate comments.
"Two weeks later, I was called into my father's office and given the 'good news,'" I told Natsu. He's been suspiciously quiet during my retelling, but his fingers have continued drawing nonsense shapes on the tops of my feet. "He told me that he had arranged my engagement to the son of one of his associates. We were supposed to meet the following day, and he was making preparations for our engagement party to take place in another month or so - shortly after the start of my senior year in high school."
I paused, remembering my fury at finding out; my harsh words to my father, and my rash decisions in the aftermath. While I could have handled things a little better, seventeen-year-old me didn't really think it through.
"After I was done screaming, I locked myself in my room. I packed a bag, grabbed what cash I had, and ran away. I ended up renting a hotel room for a few days. Levy is the one who convinced me to go back home once I'd calmed down. The staff was practically buzzing with stories of 'the handsome young man who stood up to my father' and a letter of apology left in my room from the mystery man himself. When he heard I ran away he flew off the handle, ranting at my father for lying by saying I was for the engagement, and his own father for agreeing to it in the first place."
"Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you hadn't run away?"
"I guess I do sometimes, but I can't change the past, so I try not to dwell on it."
"Would you really thank him for breaking the engagement? Maybe, if he hadn't...if you'd given him a chance...maybe things wouldn't have happened the way they did. You wouldn't have gone through so much pain; wouldn't have had to spend so many years alone if he had just waited to speak to you in person instead of writing a letter."
I finally sat up, pulling my feet off Natsu's lap to curl underneath me. I didn't like the venomous tone he used when speaking of my not-quite-fiance.
"Natsu, it's not his fault. Besides, if things didn't happen the way they did, I probably wouldn't even know you. Honestly, while I will always wonder what could have been if I'd thought things through, I already know you're one of my closest friends, and the thought of never meeting you makes me a little sad."
Natsu got up without a word and walked towards his bedroom. His face was a mix of upset and guilty, though I cannot fathom why the guilt would be there at all. When he reentered the room he handed me a box, then sat in his previous position.
"Open it," he stated before I could ask.
Inside the box was red tissue paper, which I gently pulled back to reveal a familiar dragon mask. I looked up at Natsu, my mind racing with questions, but one thing stood out above all others.
"I...I don't understand. It couldn't have been you?" The words sound unsure, even to my own ears. I studied the roots of his pink hair, looking for any signs of the color I remember from that night.
He must have realized why, and answered my unspoken question without prompting.
"I didn't like to be conspicuous; this color is pretty noticeable, so I dyed it brown off and on for years - until just before I turned twenty."
I never said anything about hair color. I feel a lump in my throat as I begin to understand what Natsu was trying to say. My breathing hitches for a moment and I feel hot dampness trickle down my face.
"You knew who I was days ago. Why...why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't think it would make a difference." He moves slightly - almost reaching for me - then balls his hands into fists at his sides instead. "You just walked away from me that night, and I thought you were going to turn me down. Then finding out you ran away from home instead of seeing me again... I just... I didn't think you would want to know."
I don't know how to feel about any of this, but I can feel the pain burning deep into my chest. It hurts that he didn't tell me the truth on Sunday. It hurts that I ran away - all those years ago - from the one man at that party who saw me. It hurts to think of how different things would be now if I had stayed.
"Then why tell me now? If you thought it wouldn't make a difference or that I didn't want to know, then why would you tell me?"
"You deserve the truth. All of it." This time he did reach for me, holding his hand out towards me with the palm up. Giving me a choice like he had so many times before. "It stung when you left without giving me an answer. Then I found out who you were and I figured you already had. I didn't want you to feel pressured just because I found you interesting...find you interesting."
A fresh round of tears spilled from my eyes; even with blurred vision, I can see the guilt on his face. It's plain as day that he's blaming himself for all I've been through. My shaking hand finds his.
"I meant what I said before. None of this is your fault. You know that, right?"
The slight quirk of his lips lets me know that he got the message, but I'm sure both of us wish things had turned out differently the night of my party. Neither of us could have predicted the series of events that would unfold in the years after our first meeting. Even though the pain is fresh, it is also strangely soothing knowing that, after eight years, I finally have a chance to thank my almost-fiance for standing up for me - more than once.
"Don't you still owe me another dance?" I ask once I've stopped crying.
"Technically, you already got two out of me on Saturday." His voice is still heavier than usual, but better than it was.
"Those don't count, since I thought I was dancing with my new friend instead of…" Shit, fuck, and damn it!
"Instead of…" Natsu prompted after it became clear I had no intention of continuing the sentence.
"Things didn't exactly turn out how I'd wanted them to when I was seventeen, but I did get one thing I wanted," I paused, steeling myself for the idiotic words about to come out of my mouth, but finding myself helpless to stop them. "I always hoped that I would find you again. And now I have, but things are so different, but they're also kinda just the same."
With a gentle tug on my hand, I am led back into Natsu's arms. His grip on me is not tight, but it is warm and comforting, and it's quickly become my safe space. Fear creeps into the back of my mind, leaving me wondering if this revelation will change things between us or not. And the uncertainty of not knowing if change is scarier, or the thought that I've missed whatever chance I once had.
"I wanted to find you again, too," he whispered against my hair after a few minutes of just sitting there holding each other.
My heart is racing, and this is beginning to feel like some crap straight out of one of the romance novels I used to read. In those books, it always seems to go one of two ways: either something is going to happen to cause us to fly apart and vehemently deny anything was going on, or I'll look up into his eyes and he'll lean down to kiss me. For the fucking life of me, I have no clue which one I wanted more. I know seventeen-year-old me was hoping for a kiss, and present me may not mind too much.
Something struck me at that moment: I'd never been kissed. Not in any way that counted. I hadn't been interested in boys before that fateful night, and even after there was only one who sparked my interest. That piece of crap - well, I don't count anything done to me while drugged or against my will. And the few dates I went on before I resigned myself to a life of solitude, I never even let the guys hold my hand; any attempt to touch me was met with disdain. So why am I suddenly so intent on knowing what Natsu's lips would feel like against mine?
Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I lift my gaze up to meet his with a mix of fear and hope. Natsu's right hand pushes my hair back from my face, his thumb lingering to caress my cheek, but he makes no further move. I search his eyes for any hint of what he's expecting, or maybe hoping for.
My teeth pull at my lower lip as I contemplate the pros and cons of just leaning in and kissing him, but I'm frozen in the fear of everything falling apart as soon as I move. The decision is taken from me by Natsu standing from the couch. He doesn't go far, merely picking up a remote before the room is filled with soft music and his hand is once again held out for me to take or not.
"You didn't dance this well at my party," I comment when we begin to move to the music. Natsu's steps are smooth and sure; so different from the clumsy teenager that led me across the ballroom.
Our positioning is different, too. There is no room full of people watching every step; no one to critique proper hand position or how far apart we're dancing. My left hand rests on his shoulder where it belongs, but his right hand rests lightly on my waist; his left hand holds my right in place over his heart. The unsteady rhythm of his pulse matches mine and makes me feel less self conscious about the caffeine-fueled butterflies throwing a rave in my stomach.
"I took lessons - just in case I found my wayward princess again." His smile seemed confident, but I could see a hint of worry resting in his eyes. "Wanted to make sure I could impress you with my skills if I ever got a second chance."
"You impressed me pretty well the first time around...just not with your dancing prowess."
"Your words wound me. I think that may be more painful than a stiletto to the instep."
"I can't really give you a second chance, Natsu." His face fell slightly at my words, and I could feel him pull away. "How can I give you a second chance when I never really gave you a first?"
It takes a moment for my words to register fully.
"Hell, I never even gave you an answer when you asked me out. I know I'm not exactly the same girl you danced with at the masquerade, but is it too late to accept the invitation?" I can't keep the hope-laced nerves out of my voice. Of course it's too late! He told you days ago that he doesn't date employees, Lucy...what the fuck are you thinking?
Natsu's hand is cupping my cheek again, tilting my face up to look at him - I hadn't even realized I'd looked away. I lean closer to him, feeling him nearly as close as when he caught me on the stairs last night; I want to be closer, but his grip keeps me in place.
"Are you sure that's what you want?"
"Yes." There is so much I wanted to say to him, but none of it seems half as important as his lips brushing mine as light as a feather.
He pulls away far enough to gauge my reaction, and I suppose it was the one he was hoping for because he smiles before leaning in to kiss me again.
It's way past my bedtime, and I'm currently in great shock, since it took just over four days for me to write damn-near 4k words of this chapter (a new record for me when it comes to new content). I'm hoping it doesn't disappoint.
Soooo... Thank you to all who decided to fave/follow; it means a lot to me that so many people are enjoying my writing. And and extra special thanks to my reviewers: Niomei, Copperreign12, LadyNerdyNerf, Kisa7221, and RequiemMage.
TTFN, Lovelies!