Disclaimer: Characters belong to Shonda Rhimes and Grey's anatomy. I keep borrowing them just to have fun writing stories. I hope you enjoy this one too

Chapter 8: "Someone without memories is someone lost"

The next day, Arizona was visited by Dr. N'Guyen the psychologist whom Amelia had sent to explain to her in even more complicated terms what she already knew. He told her that her brain had set up a protective system to avoid painful memories, but that had not helped the blonde much.
With her knowledge, the biggest trauma she had had to face was her brother death, but precisely, she remembered it perfectly. Dr N'Guyen reiterated that it was better to let the brain break the defense mechanisms without rushing it, and proposed several options. Let time do its work, or start a therapy that was expected to be long and whose result was absolutely uncertain, recognizing that hypnosis could help more efficiently, while alerting to the risk of emotional shock that the sudden emergence of memories could cause. Needless to say, the shrink's visit was more disturbing than useful.

While Dr N'Guyen was talking to her, Arizona had silently rejected therapy outright. She didn't know why, but didn't like this idea, and it seemed to her anyway that the Latin woman who had not yet visited her today, was the one who could help her. She felt the strange need to refer to Calliope.

In the late morning Alex comes into his former mentor's bedroom

- Good morning, Dr Robbins... you... Are you okay?

- Yes, fine Dr. Karev ... Uh, Alex, right?

- Yes… It's I, who found you inanimate in your home Dr. Robbins

- Okay. I guess I should thank you, so... The blonde was scrupulously watching the man in front of her, who was apparently installed in a somewhat forced role... I don't mean to be derogatory... but your face makes me think you're no longer an intern... and... since you're in pediatrics... The blonde grinned… And since the mirror taught me painfully that I was myself, closer to 37 than to 27… I assume we're working together and you're not calling me Dr Robbins every two minutes...

- Uh...yeah...

- So, stop acting like this and behave with me like you always do!

- You don't always like my behavior, believe me! Exclaims Alex between two laughs, delighted to be able to find a true relationship with his friend.

- I would have bet!… Arizona was naturally kidding around with Alex... But I think I could live with this... So... We work together? Alex hesitated to answer, Amelia's advice still very present in his mind ... Oh please Alex don't do that... I'm sure you're not the reason of my emotional blockage. The blonde laughed ... I'm a lesbian...and totally gay I remember that perfectly!. Unless you're some psychopath I saw smothering one of our patients with his pillow, you can't be my breakup point.

- We've been working together for almost ten years, and you've taught me almost everything I know about pediatrics, and a few other things, too...

- Oh, you must be a rock star, then ... Declares the blonde sending a smug wink to her colleague

- A great rock star... A little less than a decade ago you told me that I would be the future of this hospital and you made sure that I became that...

- Okay. That's good. I'm a good teacher, so... The blonde was thinking... I guess we've been friends since you entered uninvited in my home to save my life?

- Yeah, we are ...and even more, since every month you write me a big check to run YOUR pediatric department. Teases Alex who preferred irony to sentimental outpourings

- What? Why would I write you a check?

- Because you couldn't handle peds and fetal surgery ward at the same time and... Alex wandered off, maybe he had already gone too far. He paused, thinking it was useless to remind his mentor that this was the only way she had found to try and save her marriage and that she had not succeeded to do it.

- Maternal -Fetal surgery? ... Why the hell would I be in fetal surgery? I love peds ...

- You... you said it make advanced your career, and you needed something new... And you trusted no one but me to...

Something seemed to bother Arizona who was apparently not listening to Alex anymore.

- Calliope didn't tell me anything about this...

A silence settles between the two surgeons, the blonde seemed concerned. Alex scrapes his throat.

- Speaking of Callie, how's it going?... I mean ... It seems you haven't forgotten how to walk with a prosthesis. I... I saw you two get out of the hospital yesterday and ... And it's a good thing you don't have to go through all this again... You know, the adaptation to the prosthesis, the cane and then the phantom was really hard the first time... Alex was moving from one foot to the other nervously... You've been a patient quite... Uh... difficult ... So ... Uh...I mean... that's good...for David the prosthetist too; you gave him a hard time... The pediatric sneered trying to conceal his awkwardness, while Arizona her eyes widening with an amused astonishment felt that she should to have a lot of affection for the man... And it's great for you too... and...

- Alex, is there anything you want to tell me in particular?

- No... no, I'm just wondering how it's going with Torres?

- That's great, actually she's ...You know, she's one of those people who makes you feel, like you're capable of anything, she just takes for granted that you're great so you feel great... With eyebrows raised, Alex watched the blonde expound on her ex-wife, it was certainly not the first thing that would come to his mind regarding Callie Torres ... I mean, she has this reassuring way of caring for her patient like if he is alone in the world, and that makes him important and confident and... so... uh... To answer your question, things are going very well with Dr Torres. Ah! And it's also great because she wears a perfume that I love ... Alex listened to the blonde, fearing that he would have confirmation of what he feared... And you know I recognized it right away! Alex's stunned face, makes the blonde burst out laughing… Not Dr Torres!.Her perfume! I don't know, I felt really good, like something familiar but important too and this flagrance was created after 2007... That's after losing memories. See, this is the beginning of something. It's amazing, right?

- Yeah, great. Just Arizona, Torres is just passing by here... Arizona frowns... I mean, she is at New York ...Uh…Forget that…Sorry …Uh …Never mind... Be careful

The pediatrician gets out of the room, leaving Arizona puzzled about her colleague's warnings. She was thinking that she should ask Calliope about it, when a brunette with a slight accent shows up in the room.

- Hi, Arizona

- Hi… uh... Excuse me, are you? ...

- Carina.

- Okay. So, hi Carina... Delighted to have the visit of a beautiful woman, the blond smiled, this little accent had also something sexy that she loved.

- You... Do you remember me at all?

- Actually, I don't remember anyone here except Doctor Webber. A ten-year hole, so if you're part of those ten years of my life, I'm sorry, but you're in the hole with everything else.

- That is the case...

- All right, so...Looking at the brunette's outfit, Arizona was squinting her eyes, she sharpened her mind at the guessing games these last days... I see you're an obstetrician and as I ... I just found out that strangely I became a maternal-fetal surgeon I guess we are sometimes called to work together.

- Yeah, it happens ... But not only... The flirty air that the Italian took left no doubt about her innuendo.

- Oh... you mean the two of us are...?

- I mean, the two of us were ... Confirms the Italian...And we were pretty fine. I mean, at least I thought we were, until you decided...

- Dr Deluca, may I see you for a minute.

Interrupting the obstetrician, Amelia passes the head in the doorway urging the Italian woman to go into the corridor; leaving Arizona dubitative.

- Dr Deluca, I'd be surprised if you were not aware that Dr Robbins suffers from retrograde amnesia, because then you'd be the only one in this hospital. The cause being one hundred percent emotional, since the medical imaging doesn't reveal any problems, you should know that these patients need to be treated with the utmost caution. By no means, you can walk into her room, and throw your life on her, just because it's good for you or you want her back...

- Hey ... I ... I don't do this because it makes me feel good... I mean, I was with Arizona and I don't see why, what Dr Torres would tell her, would be more appropriate than what I would tell her myself.

- Dr. Torres has been designated to be the one to look after Dr. Robbins, and...

- And I don't think that's the best choice. Interrupts the angry obstetrician by raising her voice a bit ... What about Arizona when Dr. Torres will decide to go back to her life in New York?

Arizona had followed from afar the rather lively conversation between the neurologist and the obstetrician, Carina's words accentuating her confusion. Why did the Italian woman seem to think that Dr Torres was not good for her? It seemed insane, for what she had experienced so far; Calliope was adorable and during these few days to say the least destabilizing for her, the Latin had proven to be a rather solid anchor to which she could cling.

Arizona didn't understand Carina's reaction, which she clearly had a history with.

Reassured however that this mystery has been resolved, the blonde smiles. She was seeing someone, but again Callie didn't say anything about it either, and she really didn't see how she could go forward, if Callie wouldn't say anything to her about anything.

Annoyed by all the secrecy around her, she looks at her watch. It was 3 p.m., and the orthopedic surgeon had not yet come to see her today.

Whether it was because of everything she had heard about Dr. Torres or because she was disoriented, Arizona felt the strange need to be reassured by this woman whom she had barely known for a few days. It was incredible how Calliope had become so fast, indispensable to her. This feeling troubled her as well. She had always been prudent in all her relationships, she used to protect herself and never felt dependent on someone. Maybe it was the legitimate need to have answers for some of her questions, due to Callie's reluctance to give them to her?

Disturbed by all these concerns, the blonde decides to go after April Kepner. Callie had told her that they were friends; and she thought, the redhead could enlighten her.

When she enters the cafeteria the blonde approaches April sitting alone and playing with her phone which, according to Arizona, seemed to be what people in this hospital preferred to do.

- Hi, may I sit with you...

- Uh... Hi... Uh... Yeah...Of course. The hesitant and awkward onomatopoeias of the redhead trigger a laugh of the blonde

- Okay, April... I know...

- Ah?... You know what?

- Calliope told me that you're one of my best friends... and I know that, Dr Shepherd who is not very friendly with me anyway... The blonde takes a peek around, making sure no one hears her. I think she is kind of cranky... Arizona rolls her eyes... But according to Callie, she's also my friend, so, I was saying that Dr Shepherd seems to want to keep the last ten years of my life more secret than the Pentagon files, but, you must be realistic if no one helps me I'll never be able to find my past.

- Arizona, I understand but I have read the publications of ...

- Koperman. I know what Koperman says. But I need some details to hold on to, April. If you're really my friend like Calliope says; then you have to help me. I need you. Can you put yourself in my shoes for a second? This Italian woman shows up in my room and apparently there's something going on between her and me and I don't know how far the «thing» goes! I don't remember anything! And then she says that Dr. Torres shouldn't be the person who should be taking care of my case, and you know, I'm confused… I mean, there's no one sweeter than Calliope, she is so caring, I think it's unfair to say that about her.

The speed with which the blonde had expressed herself since she had sat down at her table, made April think that Arizona was soon going to get a little crazy. The blonde must have referred every three seconds to her ex-wife, and hearing in Arizona's mouth that Calliope was adorable nearly suffocate her.

Not that the redhead didn't like the orthopedist, but throughout her residency when she was in a bad mood, Dr Torres's favorite pastime was to lash out at April, so she would certainly have found another qualifier to describe her. Moreover, she had been the privileged witness of the state of Arizona when the couple tore apart, and she had not found Callie always so sweet as her friend seemed to find her right now.

- Okay, Arizona calm down... I get it... So, the Italian's name is Carina Deluca...

- Uh...That's not a scoop April!... Cries out the upset blonde... It's written on her white coat.

- Yeah ... I suppose I have the right to tell you that you have been seeing her quite regularly for some time...

- Okay... Months? Years? Weeks?... I need details!...

- Months...

- Is she my girlfriend?

- I... I won't call her like that.

- But me April, how do I call her?! Arizona really showed signs of exasperation at the redhead's unwillingness.

- Um... A sexy bomb... You say and I quote you that her skill level regarding sex is curative, that it erases the pain and fixes everything. In your opinion, she is kind of "sex medicine"

- Oh... Grimaces Arizona, her cheeks turning red. She wasn't particularly prudish, but she should be very close to the traumatic surgeon to share this kind of intimacy. At least, she seemed to be the right person to stalk with questions... Pain?... So, I'll have things to fix?... Pain to erase? Arizona's tone and face suddenly became severe.

- Uh... You... Uh...You know…Uh...Looking down, the redhead stuttered… Eliza! Shouts April like if she had just discovered the « Earth! » after long months of solitary sailing... You... You were having an affair with a woman who left without leaving an address. She ghosted you. Probably you wanted to forget about Eliza.

The redhead was, however, convinced that Elisa had never been the real pain of the fetal surgeon, and that there was no risk that she would be the famous breaking point. The Arizona's former mistress taking the plane without turning back, had only revived the wound that the blonde had buried deeply inside since Callie's departure, and which she had never spoken about again.

- Well, I'm not the kind to be offended about that, am I? I mean, it's not very nice to leave without saying good-bye, but I must have overcome it, have I?

- Very quickly. You forgot about her with Carina in no time.

- Okay, that's what I always do. But what I don't understand is why didn't Callie tell me about it? I mean, I was surprised as soon as I woke up, not having a girlfriend by my bedside. I even thought you were and I had forgotten about you. I think that Calliope should have told me that I was dating someone, right?

- I... I don't know... I mean... Arizona looked at the red-haired woman's embarrassment again... Callie was...Callie was in New York lately... And...

- What's the matter with all of you, about Callie and New York...? I know Callie has a girlfriend in New York...

- And… You're okay? You... I mean ... Do you take it well?

- Why I would not take it well, April? ... The dreamy blonde adds... Although I'm not sure she's really happy... And that's too bad because this woman is made for happiness. You can't have such a beautiful smile and not be made for happiness.

The redhead's pager beeps just in time. April wasn't sure she could face her friend's blissful smile any longer, without being able to warn her, that most of her pains and things to fix were related to this same Callie Torres who today triggered smiles on the blonde's lips, as soon as she mentioned her.

After being abandoned by April Kepner, Arizona decides to clear her head by practicing walking with her prosthesis.

She was walking around the hospital, meeting people she didn't know and who greeted her or even waved to her from afar, and in her turn, she was sending back a small wave from her hand. She really felt at home in this hospital.

She had long trained herself to go up and down the stairs which seemed to her the most difficult part with the prosthesis especially with a left arm still in a sling, when without thinking about it, her steps had led her to the orthopedic service. Unconsciously she was looking for Dr. Torres who occupied much of her mind and visibly the mind of everyone she met today. The orthopedist was nowhere in the ward, and apparently had no office either. Hearing the voice of a man calling her, the blonde turns around, it was the only face of the hospital she remembered.

- Hi, Arizona.

- Good afternoon, Chief ...

- Uh… Arizona, I'm not the chief anymore... Giggles Richard... Well, I was when you started here, and I guess that's what you remember. But we're friends now. You haven't called me chief in years, you call me Richard.

- Oh... I ... I'm a friend to you too. Stammers Arizona, amazed to have so many friends here, and especially the Chief.

- If you consider that going with you in lesbian bars is a proof of friendship... Then I think it's safe to say that I'm your friend

- Excuse me! Astonished the blonde opens wide eyes where we read stupor

- The trivia games in the lesbian bars got us a lot closer, and now you don't even cry when I talk to you... The oldest surgeon who spent a lot of time playing with Arizona's difficulty with hierarchy was laughing.... But I have to admit, you still can't keep a secret, if I look at you like that. Richard gives a stern look on the blonde reminding her of the problem with the authority she had since her earliest childhood.

- Oh, I'm sure about that. Although she didn't quite figure out why she went to lesbian bars with the chief, she have no doubt about the sincere feelings she must have for this man who put her immediately at ease.

- So, what are you doing on this floor?

- I'm... I'm looking for Callio... Dr Torres

- Oh... okay... I...I haven't seen her. And... uh, about that, how's it going with Dr. Torres?

- Oh my God, what's wrong with Dr Torres? ... I'm asking you Chief... Uh... Dr Webber... Richard ... Stutters the blonde. Everyone I meet today seems to be worried about Dr Torres, me and New York!

- Arizona ... Just

- I know ... Dr. Torres has a girlfriend in New York. And I really don't see why, it sounds like a big deal to everyone here. Oh! Here she is anyway...

At the sight of the Latin woman walking toward them with a disgruntled air on the face; Richard Webber slips away.

Callie had just met Meredith and Alex, who had given her the speech that seemed to be their leitmotiv at the moment, concerning Arizona's fragility and the thread on which she walked; what had greatly pissed off the Latin. She felt like everyone in this hospital had an idea about Arizona and wanted to protect her from the evil Callie, who seemed so harmful and dangerous, even though they had called on her to help the blonde.

- Hey Dr. Torres, you have the face of "don't come near me or I'll bite you". Jokes Arizona as she came toward the brunette... Tell me who upset you; I'll give him a piece of my mind. You know I can fight. The blonde sends a wink to the Latina whose anger fades as soon as she hears her ex-wife's cheerful voice... I'm a military girl and my name is Arizona, so I learned how to fight.

The Latin chuckles. This brawl story was a myth that her ex-wife had always loved to tell, and it always amused Callie, because she never knew anyone sweeter and less violent than Arizona.

- I know... Says Callie… You're a great fighter... It's just... Nothing ... It's nothing... So, this prosthesis how is working?

- It has no more secrets for me. Unlike people here, by the way! ... No matter, I went up and down the stairs; I don't know how many times... I... I think you'll be proud of me when we go back to physiotherapy room...

- You don't need me for that anymore. You're doing very well. And as soon as your shoulder will be no longer immobilized, your balance will be even better...

- Oh... yeah, of course. You... You ... you have to go back to New York. Whispers the blonde hiding her disappointment.

- No! Who?... Why do you think that? I just wanted to say that we had better things to do. Listen, what would you say if we got out of here tonight...? We could go to places you've been to before and...

- Wow! Like a date? Suddenly lightened,Arizona bursts out laughing... That's why you are so...uh ...smartly dressed!

- Like a work appointment... Corrects Callie by blushing.

Of course, the Latin woman had prepared herself a little, not in order to be really attractive but to look good though. Anyway, her ex-wife didn't seem very sensitive to her charm, the blonde turned everything into a mockery and seemed to think of nothing but laughing and having fun, which, even if she found it weird, was often a good escape for the brunette...

- I... I thought I 'd take you to places that might remind you of memories.

- But how should I dress, I have nothing to wear... And... you are so ... We will look like the" Lady and the tramp". Of course, you'll be "the lady." ... Taking the mimic with her wrinkled nose, that had always made the Latina crack, the blonde moans like a miserable child... And I'll be the tramp ...

Callie shows the suitcase she was holding in her hand.

- I took a detour through your closet...

Arizona's face lights up with a big smile. Each Callie's adorable act made the warnings she had heard, even more strange and unwarranted.

Eager to get out of the hospital, the blonde rejects these thoughts, and goes to her room with the brunette to prepare for the evening.

As she waited in the bedroom while handling a telephone, Callie smiling heard Arizona in the bathroom, getting excited about each of the clothes. Or perhaps it was the heel prosthesis she had brought back that received those shouts of joy.
In any case a lot of yay! and awesome! came from the bathroom and Callie felt that she was suddenly thrown into this past which she had waited desperately to see come back.

- Calliope, what should I wear? More like pants or a dress… Asks for the blonde

- I brought both so you can choose, Arizona…

- Yeah, but what do you think?

- Personally, I love your black dress, the red is …Uh ... Callie was suddenly caught up by the memories of the red dress. She loved this one. The red dress was the one Arizona wore when she wanted to seduce her... You look gorgeous with the red, but it may be too light for the season... You must feel comfortable... So just in case... I brought the pants.

- You don't help much here, Calliope. Chuckles the blonde... You think I'll be able to walk with the prosthesis with heels?...

When she came out of the bathroom, Arizona was wearing the black dress. She had already worn it when they were together. It was the little black dress that Arizona had bought specially for a date that they had planned long time ago and which had to be cancelled at the last minute because of the impromptu guard of Sofia Zola and Bailey.

A shadow passes through the black eyes. Callie was trying to provoke flashes in her ex-wife's mind, but right now, she was the own victim of these flashes.

That was over three years ago; the night when they had flipped a coin to find out which one would carry the little brother or sister they wanted to give to Sofia.
Callie drives out that thought, focusing on the blonde who smiled in front of her. The dress still suited Arizona perfectly. She had styled her hair in a cleverly disordered bun that cleared her neck, some strands falling on her face. Callie couldn't help but undress her ex-wife with her eyes. She was even more beautiful than in the most beautiful of her memories.

- Is that alright like this?... The blonde turns over and presents her back to the Latin woman. Swallowing the ball that had formed in her throat, Callie motionless smiled shyly at this question... Uh Calliope... Can you zip me up, please?

The Latina closes her eyelids by deeply inhaling, she pulls up the zipper of the dress, trying to ignore the memories that this gesture made hundreds of times, in both directions , brought to the surface.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts