A/N: So here is Chapter 38 at last! After that last cliffhanger, I apologize for the long wait. But work and school were just making it impossible for me to get any writing done. Speaking of school, I have final exams coming up, which means that I probably won't get the chance to post another chapter until July, as I will be spending the next couple of weeks studying. But, as always, I will write whenever I get the chance.
Enjoy!
Severus knew that he needed to be careful.
The mind, especially a child's mind, was a very fragile thing, after all. It wouldn't take much to damage it.
And so when the man slipped easily into the young boy's head, he made sure to proceed with caution.
What almost instantly became apparent to the potions master was the fact that the young Gryffindor had clearly not cleared his mind prior to his uttering of the incantation. Countless memories were flashing past him as he slowly moved through Potter's mind, and he found that he was being met with very little resistance.
For the most part, the man ignored the memories. He had told the child that he was not interested in snooping through his thoughts, and he had meant it. His purpose here was to help the boy protect his mind. He had no real desire to intrude on his privacy.
Of course, it would be impossible to avoid seeing everything.
And so Severus watched as Potter clambered into the first year boats and caught his very first glimpse of Hogwarts castle.
And then the boy was sitting in the library, a stack of books in front of him, and an enthusiastic Colin Creevey at his side.
A moment later, the Gryffindor was throwing an invisibility cloak about his shoulders, having just received the blasted thing in an unsigned package for Christmas.
Next, the child was standing in the owlery, too afraid to touch the sick snowy white owl before him, as the tears gathered in those emerald eyes…
Severus quickly pressed on. "Concentrate, Potter!" he commanded through the boy's thoughts. "Resist me!"
The potions master felt a weak push against him, then. But it was nowhere near strong enough to have any sort of effect on him.
And then suddenly, Severus saw it. The wall in the very back of the child's mind where it was clear that all the boy's energy was being directed. He felt a wave of desperation attempt to push him back away from that wall. Whatever was behind it was clearly something that Potter did not wish for him to see.
It wouldn't take much, Severus knew. One little push and that feeble little wall would come tumbling down. It would be all too easy.
He felt another desperate push against him, then.
And with a sigh, he carefully withdrew from the boy's mind.
Harry stumbled forward, nearly toppling right into the professor, who quickly caught him by the arm and steadied him on his feet.
It took a moment for the boy to realize that he was breathing heavily, and feeling exhausted from the effort he had been putting into protecting those most secret of memories. As far as he could tell, he had been successful. He didn't think that the potions master had caught any glimpse of the Dursleys.
"Drink this," Snape stated sternly, suddenly shoving a potion under Harry's nose.
He obeyed without protest, and was relieved to feel some of the strength returning almost instantly to his limbs.
"That was an absolutely abysmal effort, Mr. Potter," the man criticized a moment later, as he glared down at the child before him. "What part of "clear your mind" did you not understand?"
"I'm sorry," Harry answered, ducking his head in shame.
Snape sighed in frustration. "Don't be sorry, Potter," he practically growled. "Learn from your mistakes so that you can do better next time. Now, tell me. What were you doing wrong?"
Harry frowned, still looking at the floor. And despite knowing that his professor wasn't going to like it, he shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what to say.
Another sigh sounded above him, and then a moment later, Harry found himself looking into the dark eyes of the potions master as the man's fingers gently gripped his chin and forced him to look upwards.
"Then allow me to tell you what I observed," Snape stated clearly, waiting for the boy's small nod before releasing his chin.
"You are putting far too much energy into protecting the memories you do not wish me to see. It is preventing you from clearing your mind properly."
Harry's frown deepened. "But sir, it worked, didn't it? You weren't able to see those memories, right?"
"No, Mr. Potter, it did not work," Snape quickly responded.
A sudden look of fear crossed Harry's face at this news, and the potions master rolled his eyes before continuing to speak. "I did not see your memories, Potter. But believe me, had I wanted to view them, your poorly constructed wall would not have kept me out."
The relief was all too evident on the young boy's face. And then a moment later, he gazed quizzically up at the professor.
"Why didn't you, sir?" he finally asked quietly.
"Why didn't I what?" the man demanded. "Break through your wall?"
Harry just nodded in response.
"Because, as I have already told you Mr. Potter, my purpose is to teach you how to protect your mind, not rifle through a child's trivial secrets."
It was silent for a moment. And then Harry whispered a barely audible "Thank you."
But Snape quickly waved it away. "You must learn to clear your mind, Potter. Only then will you be able to find success."
"But I don't know how," the boy finally confessed. "I've tried, sir. But I just can't stop thinking."
The potions master just stared at him for a moment then with that inscrutable gaze, and Harry found himself desperately wishing that he knew what the man could possibly be thinking. He was actually surprised that his professor had not yet started to insult him for what the man surely must think was incompetence.
"Tell me, Mr. Potter," Snape finally spoke, after several long moments of consideration. "When do you feel the most at ease?"
"Sir?" Harry said in response, not understanding the question.
"What relaxes you, Mr. Potter? What activity do you find calms you down, relieves stress?"
"Oh," Harry said, a crease furrowing his brow as he thought about that for a moment.
"Well?" the man asked impatiently, crossing his arms across his chest as he waited.
"Well, I suppose… I mean I really like to—"
"Spit it out, Potter."
"I like helping you brew potions, sir," Harry answered quickly, his face turning red as he quickly looked away.
Snape's eyebrows shot up, and it was another several seconds before he found his voice to respond. "Once again, Mr. Potter, you manage to surprise me. I was almost positive you were going to spew some nonsense about flying around the quidditch pitch performing death-defying stunts."
A small smile found its way onto Harry's face then as he met the man's eyes once more. "Well, I do enjoy that too, sir."
The potions master just shook his head as he pointed his wand at the cabinet at the back of the room. The wooden door sprang open, and several bottles of different ingredients began flying off the shelves and towards the counter where Harry usually helped Snape prepare his potions.
"I think we will settle for brewing a potion this evening, Mr. Potter. I believe you have now mastered the recipe for Pepperup Potion?"
"Yes, sir," Harry responded.
The potions master nodded his approval. "Perfect."
"Now," Snape stated, when everything had been set up, and a fresh cauldron sat before him, ready for a new potion to be brewed. "As you help me this evening, Mr. Potter, I want you to focus all of your attention on the brewing process. Think only about the ingredients you are cutting. What they look like. What they smell like. Immerse yourself completely in the process. And try your best to think of nothing else. Do you understand?"
Harry nodded, somewhat nervously. "Yes, sir."
"Then let us begin."
Harry listened to the cauldron bubbling softly off to the side as he continued to peel the ginger root in front of him. The mixture of aromas from all the different ingredients that were spread out over the counter filled both his nose and his mind, so that there was no room for anything else. He felt completely calm. Completely relaxed.
"Make sure to take deep breaths, Mr. Potter," the low baritone voice of the potions master directed. "Focus on breathing evenly. In and out. In and out."
Harry listened and followed the man's instructions. And after several long minutes of continuing in this fashion, he finally let out a sigh of satisfaction.
So this is what it felt like to have a clear mind.
"I believe we may have had a breakthrough, Mr. Potter," Snape stated sometime later, when the potion had been completed, and the counter cleared off.
Harry noted the satisfaction in the man's tone, and smiled. "Really?"
Snape resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but nodded. "Yes, I should say so. You will still need to practice hard to be able to clear your mind at a moment's notice, but I believe we have found a suitable technique that will work for you."
Harry nodded in agreement. "I just need to imagine that I'm brewing a potion."
"Precisely. And your homework this evening will be to practice that technique before going to bed. You need to remember what it felt like to brew that potion. The sounds, the scents. Everything. Let the experience fill your mind and nothing else. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir!" Harry answered, still smiling.
"We still have a long way to go," Snape warned then, causing the boy's smile to slip somewhat. "I want you to spend the remainder of this week working on clearing your mind. And next week, we will have a second Occlumency session, where I will expect there to be a major improvement from today. Are we clear?"
"Yes, sir," Harry said again, this time with a more serious expression on his face.
"Then you may go," Snape said in dismissal, as he began walking across the room to take a seat behind his desk.
Harry started to turn towards the exit then, before another thought occurred to him.
"Professor?"
"Yes, Mr. Potter?"
"I still plan to help you brew potions tomorrow and Thursday. But with the big Quidditch match this weekend, I think Oliver wants to do an evening practice on Friday, which means I won't be able to come that day and—"
"That will be fine, Mr. Potter," Snape interrupted the boy, before he started to ramble.
Harry nodded, once again turning to leave. But then—
"You'll be at the Quidditch match, won't you, sir?"
The man looked up from the parchment he had just begun to read to stare at the young Gryffindor.
"Why do you ask?" the potions master finally responded.
Suddenly embarrassed, Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Well, you're the head of Slytherin, and since Slytherin's going to be playing, I just thought that maybe you would want to be there…"
"I see," Snape answered, an unfathomable expression suddenly crossing his face. "Well, unfortunately, Mr. Potter, I must oversee a detention this Saturday, which means I will be unable to attend the game. I will simply have to hear all about Slytherin's victory later that evening."
Harry made a face as Snape smirked at him. "Sorry, professor. But there's no way Malfoy's catching the snitch before me, even if he does have a better broom. I could outfly him with one arm tied behind my back!"
"Is that so?" the man asked in clear disbelief. "My, my, but that will be quite the show. It really is a shame I will have to miss it."
"You could always reschedule the detention," Harry pointed out, sounding almost hopeful to Snape's ears.
"Unfortunately, not," the man countered. "You see, the little miscreants in question happen to be Gryffindors, and I scheduled this detention specifically so that they would be forced to miss the match."
Harry made another face at what he considered to be a particularly cruel punishment. "Yes, but now you have to miss the match, too," he finally thought to respond.
"An enormous sacrifice, to be sure," the potions master said sarcastically. "But, as I have already stated, I will simply have to hear all about it later."
Harry nodded, suppressing a sigh. "Alright. Goodnight, professor."
"Goodnight, Mr. Potter."
And in the next moment, the boy was gone.
But Severus Snape still found himself staring at the spot in the room that the child had only just been occupying, as a single thought suddenly took over his mind.
What was that all about?
A/N: So what did you think? I know that most of you were hoping for the big Dursley reveal this chapter, but believe me, it's coming! I've had this planned out for quite some time now, and so I promise I'm not just stringing you all along! I definitely have a plan, and hopefully, when it does happen, you will all be properly satisfied.
Anyway, as always, Thanks for reading! :)
-Ailee17
June 17, 2017