Chapter Two: The Journey to Hogwarts
AFTER
Harry pushed his trolley around the bustling station, Hedwig hooting and ruffling her feathers indignantly as she sat in her cage. He reached out a finger, stroking her chest as he murmured soothingly to her.
"I'm sorry, Hedwig," He said quietly. "I'll let you out when I can find it." Hedwig watched him sadly, as if understanding more than a normal bird would, and Harry huffed out a breath, scratching at his left arm absent-mindedly as he looked up at the '9' sign. He frowned. "9 and ¾?" He gave Hedwig a dubious look, and Hedwig seemed to mirror his incredulity. He nodded, feeling vindicated. "Wizards are weird." He was feeling even more confident in his decision to not be one now.
"You shouldn't say that so loudly," A brash, bossy voice interrupted his thoughts, and he stiffened, spinning around to face the person who just spoke. His eyebrows rose at the sight of a bushy haired, buck teethed girl standing in front of him, pushing a trolley of her own and wearing a scarf with what he recognized as the Hogwarts emblem embroidered on it. "Muggles aren't supposed to know about the Wizarding World."
"You're being loud," He pointed out quickly, and he could admit to himself, slightly spitefully. The girl did not seem to appreciate his comment, sniffing haughtily and flicking her hair behind her shoulder. He didn't bother commenting on her mood, aware that she was going to speak her mind anyways, so he didn't need to ask why she was all upset. He knew why, he had said it.
"I was not loud," She defended, and he shrugged, not really caring either way, turning to look up at the sign instead, his face scrunched up in confusion. He felt her eyes on him. "Do you not know where the platform is?" He gave her a half-lidded stare, and she flicked her hair again. "It's in our textbook, you know. Hogwarts: A History. Haven't you read it?" She raised her eyebrows, and Harry continued to stare at her, unimpressed. She shifted, clearing her throat before nodding towards the wall between platform 9 and 10. "We have to run through the wall."
"Are you having me on?" He asked skeptically, and the girl sighed exasperatedly.
"No, I'm not! I'm not stupid. I'm telling the truth, it was in the textbook," She argued, and Harry shrugged again. She must have noticed that he really didn't care because she calmed herself down and continued. "It's to avoid detection from the muggles."
"Yeah, right." Harry rolled his eyes, shaking his head and the girl shrugged this time. He sighed, flexing his fingers around the trolley handle.
She tilted her head. "What's your name?" She asked, and he had to force himself to look at her. He hesitated, but she must have seen the indecision on his face, because she continued. "My name's Hermione. What about you?" Harry paused, unsure of what to say. After Hagrid told him of his significance in the Wizarding World, he wasn't too inclined to give out his name willy-nilly.
He figured his first name was fine. "Harry."
Hermione didn't look like she recognized him, smiling softly. "Nice to meet you, Harry." They shook and she tilted her head. "Are you a muggleborn?"
He shook his head. "Muggle raised. You?"
She nodded. "Yep, my parents are dentists." She grinned, showing her teeth, and Harry nodded. Her teeth were rather remarkably white and clean. "They were quite shocked when I showed the first sign of being a witch. Like Matilda, but my folks were nicer, of course."
Harry stiffened, his hands clammy and his throat closing slightly. "Same," He choked out, and Hermione gave him a bewildered look, but he schooled his features quickly. "They were quite shocked." He fought down the shivers, but she didn't notice, nodding.
"Yeah, it's definitely hard to explain if you didn't know about magic beforehand," She said, using the m-word easily, like it was normal and didn't make them freaks. Harry trembled slightly. The darkness pushed against his ribs, but he took a deep, calming breath as he clutched his wand in his pocket, grounding him. He didn't want to hurt her, even if she was a freak. Harry didn't care about whether other people were freaks. He just didn't want to be one. He couldn't be one, his aunt and uncle wouldn't allow it.
"What's Matilda?" He asked instead, and Hermione's eyes widened.
"You don't know what Matilda is?" She asked, sounding so scandalized that Harry could almost believe he was truly missing out on something amazing. She turned and pulled a book out of her backpack, shoving it into his hands. "It's by Roald Dahl, and it's amazing! She's super cool, I think you'd like it."
Harry took the book gingerly, flipping through it quickly. "You're giving it to me?" He couldn't help the awe from creeping into his voice. Hermione grinned.
"You can borrow it. We're going to the same school, anyways. You can give it back to me when you've finished it," She corrected, and he nodded quickly, the tears stinging his eyes. He'd never been giving anything, even to just to borrow it. "Where's your family?"
He stiffened immediately. "Work. My Uncle dropped me off, but he couldn't stay."
Hermione frowned. "He couldn't stay? Even to say goodbye? He won't see you until Christmas," She said, as if it was appalling that his family didn't care about him. Harry didn't find it that hard to believe.
He shrugged. "Summer. I won't be going home for the hols."
Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head at this point. "By choice?" She looked like she was about to cry, and Harry narrowed his eyes, confused.
"Yes," He said slowly, unsure why she was finding this so baffling. "Where're your parents at?"
Hermione seemed to regain some composure, gesturing stiffly towards the general store across the station. "I forgot a toothbrush, so mum's gone to get me one, and dad's probably still looking for parking."
Harry tilted his head, unsure about how to react to something so unfamiliar to him. Parental figures? Not something he really knew. "Cool," He said instead, and Hermione, still seeming a little shell-shocked, only nodded.
"Yeah," She said weakly, and was about to say something else when a voice called her name. She glanced behind them and Harry turned to look at the two adults making their way over to them. He stiffened, inching away almost instinctively. Hermione caught his movement, and a look of confusion crossed her face. "Are you coming through?" Harry shook his head, and she nodded, looking over at her parents again, but by the time they had made it to them, Harry was long gone.
Harry sat on the train, staring out the window resolutely, trying to quell the flurry of nerves twisting his stomach. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, counting back from ten. He had only managed to get to four when the compartment door slid open, and Harry's eyes were on them instantly. The red-haired boy that had entered froze immediately at his gaze, and blushed.
"Hi, sorry," He said quietly, turning and gesturing behind him. "The other compartments were full." Harry narrowed his eyes, noting the boy's fidgeting and his trembling hands, before nodding. The redhead smiled gratefully and sat down across from him. "What's your name?" He asked, and Harry only watched him silently. After he didn't answer for over ten seconds, the boy cleared his throat and continued. "Well, my name is Ron. Ron Weasley. I'm going into First Year. Are you new as well?" Harry nodded and Ron grinned. "Really? What House are you hoping for?" Harry's confusion must have been obvious because Ron's eyes widened. "Oh, are you muggleborn?"
Harry paused, unsure. "Raised by muggles," He said, his voice raspy, and Ron's eyes widened some more at the sound of Harry's voice, but he didn't comment, nodding instead.
"Cool," He said nonchalantly, and Harry felt a flutter of gratitude at that. Not that Harry would have answered any more questions if Ron had asked. "Well, there're four Houses. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. You get Sorted into one of them based on what you're like." Ron puffed out his chest, and Harry raised an eyebrow, amused. "Gryffindor is for the brave. All my family has been Sorted there, and I'm going to go there as well." Harry tilted his head.
"You already know where you're going? Then what's the point of Sorting?" He asked, and Ron looked down, a little sheepish. Harry waited to hear what he would say.
"Well, I don't know for sure," He finally said, blushing. "But I probably will be." Ron was starting to look upset, but Harry continued to push.
"And if you aren't?" He asked quietly, and Ron stiffened, but didn't seem to get angry, shrugging.
"I don't think my parents will be mad. As long as I'm not in Slytherin." He made a face, and Harry scrunched up his eyebrows.
"What's wrong with Slytherin?" He asked, and Ron scowled darkly.
"Only dark wizards are Sorted into there. All of them end up supporting He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," He spat venomously, and Harry raised an eyebrow doubtfully. Ron didn't seem to notice his look, continuing. "They're evil." Harry shook his head in exasperation, looking out the window.
"Evil? Unless you know all of them, how do you know?" He asked with a disinterested tone of voice. He didn't look over at the other boy, but he could hear Ron spluttering in disbelief.
"They just are!" Ron insisted, and Harry glanced over at him, shaking his head again.
"All of them, though? Are all Gryffindors brave?" He asked, and Ron opened his mouth to argue, but Harry continued as he turned to look out the window. "Just because it looks like someone is only one thing, doesn't always mean they are. We're all more than what it looks like on the surface." Ron must have picked up on something in Harry's voice, because he was silent, and Harry could feel the boy's eyes on him.
"I guess you're right," He said slowly, and Harry turned to face him. Ron studied him as well. "Will you tell me your name now?"
Harry raised an eyebrow, unsure, but he soon found himself nodding. He liked Ron. "Sure. My name's Harry." Unlike Hermione, Ron did react to his first name, but after a look from Harry, he reigned in his awe.
"Harry? Like, Harry Potter?" Ron's voice only trembled slightly, and Harry sighed, nodding. "Wow, that's…" Ron didn't seem like he could find the words to explain how awesome it was, and Harry sighed again.
"Not as cool as you think it is," Harry muttered, and Ron's eyes bugged out, shaking his head.
"Not as cool? Harry, you're famous!" Ron sounded almost reverent, and Harry was afraid he was going to genuflect or something. He cut Ron off quickly.
"Yeah, for my parents dying," He said dryly. "Kind of dark, if you think about it." Ron did not look like he had thought about it, his eyes going wide in shock.
But the redhead regained composure rather quickly, and Harry raised an eyebrow, impressed. "Right. That would suck. I'm sorry," Ron said, slightly awkward, but genuine, and Harry smiled.
"Thanks." He hesitated, before continuing the conversation. "What about the other Houses?"
Ron, jumping at the chance to change the subject, quickly explained. "Ravenclaw is for the smart ones, and Hufflepuff is for the loyal, hardworking ones. Where do you think you'll go?"
Harry paused, considering. He could hardly wrap his mind around it. Hagrid had said that magic was normal, that Harry was magical, and that was normal, but Harry was almost certain that he wasn't normal, not even by Wizarding World standards. Maybe his aunt and uncle were right about that. He was definitely a freak.
"I don't know," He finally said to the other boy. "I-well, I don't really know where I would fit in."
Ron watched him carefully. "Well, you-you could always come to Gryffindor with me," He said hesitantly, watching for Harry's reaction. Harry, on his part, managed to keep his expression from giving too much away.
"That would be nice," He said breathily, but the worry was still there. "What if I don't, though? What if I end up in Slytherin? Would you hate me too?"
Ron was silent for a few seconds, before he shook his head slowly. "No, no I won't hate you." Ron looked up then, shrugging his shoulders, and Harry stiffened, waiting for the 'but' to come. Everyone always had a 'but' when it came to him. "We wouldn't be able to see each other as much, but I wouldn't hate you."
Harry was shocked. "Really?"
Ron paused, watching him carefully, before he nodded slowly. "Of course. We can be friends even. If you would like."
Harry's heart fluttered. No one had ever asked him that before. "Sure. I would like that."
Suddenly, the door opened again, and a girl came in. "Have you seen a toad? Neville lost it, and we're looking for it." She looked at them then, and her eyes widened. "Oh. Hi. Nice seeing you again." Harry waved and, used to him not saying much, she turned to Ron. "What's your name?"
"Ron Weasley," He greeted, before nodding towards her. "And you?"
"Hermione Granger." She reached out a hand and they shook before she looked between the two of them again. "So? Have you seen a toad around?" Ron and Harry exchanged looks, before Harry shook his head. "Oh. Um, well, let me know if you do."
"Wait," Ron said, before Hermione could leave and she paused, turning towards him, eyebrow raised. "You could always go to the Prefect compartment and ask if they can Summon him for you."
Hermione leaned back on her heels, an impressed expression on her face, before she nodded. "Yeah, sure. That's a good idea. Thanks," She said, before leaving this time and closing the door.
"That was weird," Ron said bluntly, once she was out of earshot. Harry shrugged his shoulders. He had seen weirder. "Anyways, we should probably change into our robes."
Harry, slightly confused, only nodded, deciding to just copy Ron and figure it out as he went. He grinned. He was starting to get a hang of this freak thing, even if it was only temporary.
He stood amongst the other anxious, fidgety First Years with his eyes closed, focusing on keeping the darkness contained, which had started thrashing wildly inside of him in response to his anxiety and the taste of all the magic pulsing around them that even his wand couldn't counteract. A few other students tried speaking to him, but he simply stared silently back at them until they got the message and left him alone. He was not in the mood to chat, not when he had to focus.
A professor came out from the Great Hall. "Welcome, First Years, to Hogwarts!" She said, and the crowd got louder, cheering. Harry gritted his teeth, the darkness stabbing him painfully in the side, but luckily, it calmed down with a few deep breaths and counting back from ten. "My name is Professor McGonagall, and I will be explaining the Sorting process that you all will be going through in a few short minutes."
"I heard you were coming this year. You must be Harry Potter," A blonde-haired boy with ice grey eyes greeted him coolly, interrupting Professor McGonagall and breaking his concentration. Harry bit back a scowl, annoyed.
"Hi," He said, forcing himself to be polite even when the darkness continued stabbing him painfully in the side. The blonde grinned.
"Draco Malfoy," He said, holding out a hand, and Harry took it carefully, shaking it once before letting go. Draco looked back at the two other boys standing behind him. "That's Vincent Crabbe, and that's Gregory Goyle." Harry inclined his head in greeting towards them. Before they could say anything else, Ron and Hermione made their way over as Professor McGonagall was wrapping up her short speech.
"Hey, Harry! We lost you after leaving the train. Where'd you go?" Ron began, but cut off with wide eyes when he saw Draco standing there. Draco seemed to notice him as well, a sneer on his face.
"Huh, red hair, hand-me-down clothes. Must be a Weasley," Draco sneered, before turning to face Hermione, a contemptuous eyebrow raised as he looked her over as well. "And you. So obviously a Mudblood, you practically reek of incompetence. I'm surprised they even let your kind come here still." Harry didn't really understand what 'mudblood' meant, but by the chauvinistic way Draco said all of that and the rage on Ron's face, Harry figured it was bad, and that did not sit well with him. "Stick with me, Potter. I'll show you who the right crowd is." Draco held out a hand towards him again, but this time, Harry only stared at it with indifference.
"And you think that's you?" He asked calmly. Draco's eyes widened in shock, before they narrowed again in fury. But Harry was used to fury, and this boy was his size. Not even a challenge if it became an issue of self-defence. He could barely muster up an expression of fear.
"What? Do you even know who I am?" Draco asked, looking like a peacock with the way he was puffing his chest out, all arrogant and self-righteous. Harry's dislike grew even deeper.
"No," He said, brushing the boy off. "And I don't care to, not when you treat my friends like that." With that, Harry turned away from the snooty boy, turning to his friends instead. Hermione looked just as confused as he was about the word that Draco had used, but by the way he had used it, and the other stuff he said, Harry figured it was a slur of some sort. Hermione obviously came to that conclusion as well, what with the despondent and fearful look on her face. Harry reached out, patting Hermione gently on the shoulder.
"Hey, just ignore that prat. Most don't care that you're muggleborn. He shouldn't even be using the m-word, it's not allowed here," Ron said, squeezing her hand gently. She smiled gratefully at them. "He's just a bigoted prick." They laughed, and Ron turned to him again. "Also, Harry, that was wicked! You totally showed him." Ron's eyes were wide in awe, and Harry smiled.
"Thank you," He said, and Ron laughed, before thumping Harry on the back. He stiffened immediately, closing his eyes as the darkness nearly lashed out, mere inches from the surface by the time he had managed to stop its explosion. After a few more deep breaths, he had managed to get it back under control, but this time, it did not go unnoticed by either of his companions.
"Harry?" Hermione asked quietly. "Are you okay?"
Harry's eyes finally opened. "Please don't touch me," He whispered, and he saw Ron and Hermione exchange looks. "I don't like being touched."
Ron looked confused. "You have a cousin; doesn't he do stuff like that?" He sounded suspicious, and Harry felt the panic rise. He shook his head.
"That's not how my family shows affection," Harry said, slightly breathless. He took a step back from them. "I need to go."
He didn't bother waiting for a reply, turning on his heel and disappearing out a side door, which opened out into a hallway that led outside. Harry hurried out towards the courtyard, almost single-minded, and felt his heart rate calm down when the cool wind hit his hot, clammy skin. He sighed, sitting down on a bench, clutching his wand in both hands now, and counted down from ten, restarting every time he hit zero until he could feel the darkness settle in the bottom of his stomach.
"Mr. Potter. You think you're so much better than everyone else that you can just leave and go where you're not supposed to?" A sneering, cruel voice interrupted his meditation, and the darkness woke with a roar, slamming against his spine. He winced, hunching over, before turning towards the intruder.
"No sir," He said meekly. He knew what this type of person was like, he lived with one. Bullies, that was what they were, and the best way to deal with them was to comply. It could get ugly if one didn't. "Sorry sir. It was getting hot in there." The man sneered derisively, crossing his arms as he stared loathingly at Harry. That shocked the boy. He didn't even know this man, and he hated Harry already? What gives?
"Do not take me as a fool, boy!" The man didn't seem to be giving Harry the benefit of the doubt, as if on principle, and Harry knew he was dealing with a different kind of bully. This bully had authority, and he knew it. He knew it, and he used it, which made him all the more dangerous. "What makes you think that you deserve a break, Potter? You're probably not the only one who's hot, but you don't see anyone else out here, do you?"
"No sir," Harry said, the resentment bubbling, an old friend. He gave it a grudging wave before shoving it back down with the darkness. It would not do well to invite that feeling in lest the darkness sneak in at the same time. "I'm sorry sir, I'll head in right now." He stood up, before hesitating. The man was directly blocking the route back towards the room, but Harry doubted that professors were allowed to physically harm them, so he continued. Of course, with a good amount of distance, just in case. Harry wanted to prepare for any outcome. "Sorry sir." He repeated as he passed, but didn't look up, aware of the man's eyes piercing holes into his head.
He caught up with his friends, and Hermione glanced at him worriedly. Ron wasn't watching him as obviously as she was, but Harry could see the quick glances Ron was sending him.
"Where were you? Are you okay?" Hermione whispered, but Harry waved her off.
"Don't worry about it. Let's just pay attention to the Sorting," He said, and Hermione nodded, taking his advice. He, however, did not, turning his attention inward as he tried to calm the darkness down after the stressful encounter with the dark-haired man. It didn't help that the magic in the Great Hall was almost suffocating, and he closed his eyes, counting down from ten yet again, brining his wand up to his lips.
The Sorting must have started, because the next time he paid attention was when Hermione was called up to the stool. Harry smiled, excited to hear what the hat would call out.
"Gryffindor!" It shouted after almost four minutes. Harry clapped along with everyone else, sending Hermione a reassuring smile when she met his eyes. Harry ignored the others, refocusing on his breathing, until Professor McGonagall spoke the dreaded name.
"Harry Potter," She said, and he made his way up the steps, aware of all the eyes on him, everyone silent for once. He sat down on the stool, staring out at the sea of people until it suddenly went dark, covered by the hat.
"You're going to have to let me in."
"Who the hell are you?" Harry asked suspiciously. He heard a shocked gasp and scolding words from the professor, but he ignored them, focusing on the voice. He swore he heard – or felt? – the voice chuckle.
"I'm the hat, weren't you listening? I'm talking to you in your mind," It said, and Harry did notice, once it told him, that the voice wasn't coming in through his ears. Instead, it was like the voice was being planted directly into his brain, bypassing his ears completely. "You can talk to me in your mind if you bring your barriers down."
"Barriers?" He whispered, and the hat nodded. Or he figured it nodded. It felt like it moved on his head slightly, in what Harry figured was a nod. "I don't know how to bring them down."
"Hmm. Interesting. Very interesting," The hat murmured.
Harry was getting kind of fed up with how interesting all this was. "What do you mean?" He all but growled, and the hat chuckled again.
"You seem to have natural Occlumency barriers. Well, they may be Occlumency barriers. They feel similar, but…different. You just need to let them down, so I can read your mind." Harry felt his anxiety spike, and a cold wind swept through the room, dropping the temperature down a few degrees. "Calm yourself, child. I need to in order to Sort you."
Harry was still unconvinced. "I don't think so."
"Are you arguing with me now?" The hat almost sounded amused, but Harry remained silent, not keen on bantering with a piece of fabric. Even if it was magical and seemed sentient, it was still magic.
"If I let you in, are you going to tell anyone what you see?" Harry asked stubbornly.
"I am sworn on an oath of secrecy," The hat reassured him. Harry felt a surge of relief, and he closed his eyes, reeling in the darkness, and clearing his mind. "Thank you, child." He felt it probe his mind, like an itch behind his eyes, and he had to fight the urge to push the hat out. "Oh. Oh dear. What have they done to you? The Headmaster, oh Merlin, he'll be-well, he'll be furious. What they've done-absolutely awful. They'll all be furious. The entire Wizarding World, even. There'd be a riot." Harry did not like the sound of that, and just about shoved the hat out of his mind, but it quickly continued. "Not mad at you, of course. No, not at you." Harry was still rather skeptical. Why should he trust a magic hat? "Oh dear, how have we let it come to this? I'm sorry, child, for what they've done to you."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Harry said to the hat, through his thoughts. The hat seemed to wilt on his head. Harry shook his head, confused.
"I know," The hat murmured, but seemed to regain composure because Harry felt it sit up on his head. "Anyways, where shall I Sort you? Gryffindor? Maybe, but there are too many brash characters in there right now for that to be any help to you. You need a push, but-no, they push too much. Your control is good, but this would be too much. I see that you've made friends with Ronald Weasley, but…hmm, no, still too-no, wouldn't understand, not yet. Not much of your peers will, not at this age. And when they do-oh, it would definitely change them. The actions they would take to avenge you, would certainly change them. But they would accept you." The hat paused, and Harry didn't even bother trying to make sense of the hat's rambling, but the mention of Ron did calm him slightly. "Ravenclaw? You're certainly intelligent, but you don't go out of your way to seek knowledge, and don't value knowledge for knowledge's sake. The competitive nature in that House may also be detrimental to you. Hufflepuff may work. They're loyal, and supportive. Understanding too. But too understanding, sometimes, too eager to see the good in the world. Knowing what was done to you-no, that would break them, fracture them, and may result in their loyalty breaking when they grow to fear you."
"Fear me?" Harry asked incredulously. Fear him? Why would they fear him, when everything about them, Hogwarts, and the Wizarding World, absolutely terrified him?
The hat tutted. "That is not something you need to be concerned with right now. Another day." The hat didn't explain anything more, continuing on. "Slytherin might be okay. The Head of House, well, he's a right piece of work, but, hmm, he'd understand. Given time, yes, he would understand. He'd understand, and, well, much like the Headmaster-" The hat broke off quickly, but only for a few seconds before continuing. "Yes, the Head of House would be a force to be reckoned with. And your peers, hmm, well, they would too. But the anti-muggleborn sentiment will likely not sit well with you. No, it would not sit well with you, especially with your friendships with Hermione and Ronald. But, unlike Hufflepuff, they are able to see the truth about the world. Hard to choose. You are a hard case, Mr. Potter, if only…" The hat sighed, and Harry knew it'd be pinching the bridge of its nose if it was able to. The hat chuckled. "You are certainly right, dear boy." Harry stiffened. "Oh, I'm sorry, child, I should have known." The hat sighed deeply.
"What about Ron? He's my friend," Harry interrupted the hat. His only friend, and Harry wasn't too keen on losing him, even though he was planning on getting rid of it anyways.
"I will ignore your other comment, but you won't lose your friend. Your conversation on the train did change him. And he was honest, when he said he wouldn't cut you off if you were Sorted into Slytherin."
Harry bit his lip, thinking. "A lot of them don't like muggleborns, like Hermione, because of Voldemort, right? And they don't like the Weasleys?"
"Yes. Most don't like the Weasleys because they're considered blood-traitors for choosing muggles and muggleborns over pure-blooded aristocracy."
"Ron is my friend. And I like Hermione. She's nice, even if she's kind of bossy." He winced, but his words were genuine. He liked his two new friends.
The hat chuckled. "Yes, I know you do. But are you prepared to defend them against the rest of your House, if you were to be Sorted into Slytherin?"
Harry straightened in the stool. "I don't agree with Voldemort, or what he's done. And maybe I don't agree with my parents' choices, but t-they're my parents, I care for them, and I agree with why they fought against him," He said, more confident in himself and his own thoughts than he had ever remembered being.
That was one of the things he disagreed with his aunt and uncle about. Sure, it was kind of stupid to fight against a powerful dark wizard with a baby on the way, but he didn't think that made why they were fighting foolish. His aunt and uncle just thought his parents, and him, by extension, were stupid, full-stop. But Harry could see why they fought against evil. People were getting hurt, and he didn't like when he got hurt, so he didn't want others to. Even if they were freaks.
"I do not understand how you don't see, not when you feel all that as well." The hat sounded resigned but exasperated all at the same time. "But it is clear what makes you different from many of the Slytherins. You may not think that magic and magic-users are normal, or that you are, but you do not want them hurt. That is special, Harry, and you need to hold on to that. You will realize, in time, and that will be even better." Harry frowned, unsure about what he would realize. "I know you're unsure, and you will learn, in time, but I might as well start the ball rolling now." The hat seemed to take a deep breath, and Harry just knew that it was preparing to say something big. "You are not a freak, Harry, and neither are the people here. Muggles aren't freaks either. They just…are. Muggles are non-magical, and wizards and witches are magical, and that is just how it is. Nothing more, nothing less. Not 'freak' or 'normal', just human. And that should be enough, shouldn't it?"
Harry pondered it over, because he knew the hat told him all this so he could think about it, but he was still unsure. He was a freak. That he was certain of, and magic was freaky, and strange, and decidedly not normal. But he couldn't deny that they were humans, and the hat was right. That should be enough, shouldn't it? Yes, it should be. It could be. He wanted it to be, he was sure of that. He cared for Hedwig, and she wasn't human. He could care for other humans, even if they were wizards and witches.
The hat was proud, Harry could tell, and he nodded. "I would fight for them." He hesitated. "But-" He bit his lip. "You really don't think Gryffindor is a good idea?"
"No. Not the way you are right now. If they hadn't-if you'd been-" The hat took a deep breath. Well, as much as a hat could. "No, there's no use in thinking like that. You, as you are right now, wouldn't thrive in Gryffindor, not in the way that the world needs you to."
"Why?" Harry asked slowly, but he felt it, in his gut, the answer, even before the hat said it.
"You already know why." The hat sounded unbelievably solemn. "The darkness." Harry knew he was a freak, even for the wizards. He was the freakiest of the freaks and the Dursleys were right. Magic was nothing to be proud of. "Oh Harry." He didn't quite appreciate the hat's tone. "I know you don't. I'm so sorry, Harry. Just remember, I'm here to talk if you need it." Harry wasn't sure he would, but he nodded anyways. "Well then, nothing more to it. It's been six minutes already. You are definitely a hatstall." Harry did not know what that meant, but he didn't really care. "Let's go with-" The hat switched over to speaking aloud- "Slytherin!"
Harry removed the hat, placing it back down on the stool and ignored the silent, shocked looks of everyone in the Great Hall. The darkness calmed considerably with the silence, though, so Harry couldn't find it himself to care too much about how stunned everyone was. If it kept them quiet, well, he'd go with it.
He stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do next, and Professor McGonagall pointed towards the far-right table. There was a green flag with a large snake embroidered on it hanging above the table, and Harry straightened, breathing deeply before making his way over. The crowd seemed to have recovered and were clapping quietly.
He looked back briefly, wondering who the Head of House, who the hat said was a piece of work, was. He couldn't really decide, unable to judge someone like that from just their appearance, and instead turned towards the rest of the First Years. He glanced at Ron, who gave him a sad, but kind, smile, and Harry realized that the hat was right again. He waved at Ron, before glancing over at Gryffindor table, where Hermione was sitting, and she sent him a small smile. He waved at her quickly, before finally continuing towards the Slytherin table.
They were all staring at him, and Harry kept his eyes downward as he sat down. He remained silent, turning around to face the rest of the Sorting, but the boy who he had sat down beside interrupted his thoughts.
"Theodore Nott, but I go by Teddy," He said, his hand held out towards Harry, and Harry raised an eyebrow, studying the boy in front of him carefully. The boy had wavy brown hair, a pale, thin face, long nose and sharp cheekbones. Theodore let Harry stare, sitting there silently, his eyebrow raised, and mouth quirked up slightly into a smile. Harry, deciding that the boy looked friendly enough, nodded, taking his offered hand.
"Harry," He said, and the boy's mouth widened into a confusing smile. Harry didn't know what it was, but something about that smile set his teeth on edge.
"I know." Theodore chuckled, and Harry couldn't figure out if he were laughing at him or with him. "Everyone knows." Harry bit back a sigh.
"Right. Of course," He said tiredly, turning around again, but his eyes soon landed on the blonde-haired boy from before. Draco was glaring at him openly, and Harry only shrugged, unable to find it in himself to care about the petty hatred on the boy's face.
Soon enough, Ron was on the stool, and, like he had predicted on the train, he was Sorted into Gryffindor. Harry grinned, clapping along with the Gryffindor table.
"You're a Slytherin now, Potter," Draco snapped, but Harry ignored him, continuing to clap for his friend. "You shouldn't be cheering for blood-traitors anymore! You belong to this House."
"I don't belong to anyone," He said, finally turning to face Draco, who was watching him with wide, scandalized eyes. "I can do what I want, you don't make my decisions for me." Harry shrugged nonchalantly, before turning back to face the front.
Draco was spluttering indignantly behind him, but Harry ignored him, focusing on the darkness instead, counting down from ten repeatedly in his head. He felt someone nudge him in the side and he stiffened, moving away immediately, clamping down hard on the darkness as it slammed into ribs and squeezed the air out of his lungs, like popping balloons. He struggled to regain his breath, hunched over his knees.
"Woah, are you okay? Sorry, I didn't think you'd react that way," Theodore said, and Harry nodded quickly, trying to reassure the other boy even as he gasped for breath. "Harry?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Harry finally managed to choke out. "Sorry. J-just, please don't touch me." Theodore nodded, his eyes wide with worry, and now Harry had managed to catch the attention of even more students. Older students as well, to his shock and dismay. He did not like unwanted attention. He smiled at the still worried boy. "Really, I'm okay. I just don't like when people touch me."
Theodore still looked doubtful, but he nodded. "Alright. I'm sorry."
Harry nodded. "That's okay. You didn't mean to." His voice sounded more confident than he felt. He clutched his wand and felt the darkness calm down, bit by bit, and he sighed in relief.
Once the last child was Sorted, the Headmaster took to the stand again, and made some weird speech that Harry mostly tuned out, before welcoming them to start the feast.
And damn, was it a sight to behold. Harry's eyes were wide as the dishes in front of them filled with food out of thin air. He had never seen that much food before in his life, and he wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do, his stomach clenching painfully. He watched his peers, trying to figure out what was expected from him by seeing what they did, much like what he did on the train with Ron. It looked like they just served themselves, and Harry frowned. They were allowed to just take the food, just like that? He narrowed his eyes, turning to study the professors sitting up at the high table suspiciously. What was the catch? There had to be one, no one gave out free food. Not to freaks like him, at least.
When he looked over, he saw that he wasn't the only one not focusing on their food. The dark-haired man from before was staring at Harry with a baleful expression as he cut his food meticulously, his aura exuding malice. Harry's gaze darted away, not too keen on making eye-contact with the menacing man and turned to look at the Headmaster instead. The hat had said the Headmaster would be angry. At what, Harry was not sure, but the man was almost the complete opposite of the dark-haired man, and Harry found it hard to believe that the hat would ever compare the two to each other. The Headmaster was practically the complete antithesis to the dark-haired man.
Theodore looked up from his plate, chewing thoughtfully as he watched Harry. Harry raised an eyebrow, not really enjoying being stared at, but Theodore continued, and Harry frowned. "Aren't you going to eat?" He finally asked and Harry stiffened.
"Yeah…" He said hesitantly, before reaching out and picking up a bun, some carrots, and a chicken leg, placing it on his plate. Just the sight of all the food around him made his stomach roil in protest. He hadn't had a full, proper meal since, well, since he was a baby living with his parents. He turned back to Theodore. "Hey, who's that over there?" Harry inclined his head towards the dark-haired man and Theodore looked over.
"Oh, him? That's our Head of House. Professor Snape," He said, sounding slightly nervous, and Harry winced in understanding. The bully he had met before would be his Head of House? The hat was 100%, completely right. The Slytherin Head of House was certainly a piece of work. Harry scowled, before turning back to his food, breaking a small piece off his bun, chewing it slowly as he thought it over.
"What about Professor McGonagall?" He asked, and Theodore frowned, looking confused.
"What about her?" He asked, glancing over at the high table again. Harry looked over at said woman as well, before turning back to Theodore.
"What does she do?"
Theodore frowned. "Weren't you listening? She told us in her speech, before we got Sorted," He said slowly, incredulous, and Harry shrugged. He had not been listening to her, and he told Theodore as much. In fact, he hardly ever listened to any of his teachers. Theodore did not look impressed, giving him a reprimanding frown that reminded Harry of Hermione, and Harry rolled his eyes. "You should be listening, Harry. It's important to listen to what the professors say. They're going to help teach us how to use our magic."
Harry only shrugged again, the darkness stirring at the use of the m-word. He shoved it down, scolding it gently. It would not do well for the darkness to react so angrily every time they heard the word, not when they were in a magical school, and he willed the darkness to understand that. It did so grudgingly.
"Sure," He agreed, waving Theodore off. "But what does she do?"
Theodore sighed, but answered him anyways. "She's the Head of House for Gryffindor, and she teaches transfiguration." Harry made a face, unsure what the last word meant, but nodded anyways. Theodore was still watching him, before he sighed, turning back to his food. Harry did as well, taking a small bite of chicken, and finishing his bun. He ate four or five carrots, but he couldn't finish his chicken leg. It was too dense and oily, and he could feel his stomach clenching in protest.
He made a face, pushing his plate away and filling his cup up with some water instead. Water was something that his aunt and uncle restricted as well when he was being punished, only allowing him one glass every two days, and having just finished a punishment, he was quite parched. He drank slowly, though, not wanting to risk vomiting so soon after his professors had graciously provided him with food. They'd certainly be angry at him for being so ungrateful and he didn't want to be bad. Once finished, he stood up, picking up his plate and glass and moving towards the door.
"Hey, where are you going?" An older student asked, a badge with the letter 'P' pinned to her robes. Harry startled, not sure what he was doing wrong, and he clutched his wand tightly as the darkness almost forced the food back up his throat.
"Um, I'm finished," Harry said slowly, holding out his plate to show the older student. She looked down at his plate, frowning, before looking back up at Harry. Harry swallowed, continuing haltingly. "I'll go wash them now. Where would you like me to bring them?"
She shook her head. "Don't worry about that, Potter." She pointed back to his spot. "You just put the plate back down on the table, and it will disappear."
Harry shifted. "Disappear?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Like how the food appeared on our plates from the kitchen, the plates will disappear and go back to the kitchens," She explained slowly, and Harry frowned, skeptical. But he figured she had some sort of authority by the way she was speaking, so he sighed and obeyed, going back his seat. He placed the dishes exactly where they had been before and waited expectantly. And right in front of his eyes, they disappeared. He gasped in shock, his heart hammering in his chest, wand held tightly in his hand.
Theodore was watching him again. "Are you not going to eat anymore?" He asked Harry, and Harry shook his head stiffly, still too shocked at seeing such a blatant display of magic to speak. Theodore frowned, opening his mouth to comment, but Harry stood up again. "Hey, where're you going?"
Harry paused, frowning. He met the other boy's eyes and winced at the concern on Theodore's face. "Bed?" He offered quietly, and the other boy frowned.
"Bed? Curfew's not until 9 o'clock. It's only 6:00," Theodore said, and Harry shifted, his anxiety growing. How was he supposed to explain this to a freak? They wouldn't understand. No one would, that was what his aunt and uncle said, no one would understand why all these rules were in place. He didn't deserve to hang out with people, he didn't belong. He deserved to be alone.
"What, does Potter go to bed early like a little baby?" Draco's sharp, shrill voice interrupted, and Harry's anxiety went away almost immediately. He gritted his teeth, shoving the growing resentment away roughly, dragging the darkness down with it. He didn't push the anger away, though.
"Fuck off, Malfoy," He snapped, his hands clenching tightly into fists, and his wand sent red sparks into the air. Draco watched them with wide eyes, and Harry could feel the eyes of the other students on him as well.
The older student whipped her head around. "Hey! Language! And no magic allowed in the Great Hall!" She reprimanded, but Harry didn't care, heading towards the door, the darkness raging inside of him, making him ache all over. But it didn't try to escape to hurt anyone, so Harry figured it had listened to him before, if only a little bit. He just wished it would stop trying to hurt him too.
"Harry!" Theodore called out but Harry was already pushing the door open and heading back down the corridor towards the courtyard. Before he walked out, however, he paused. Professor Snape found him there before, and if he went looking for Harry, he would likely go back to the courtyard first. Harry didn't want to be predictable, so he spun on his heel and went in a different direction.
The hallway ended with a door, and Harry flung it open, walking down the grounds towards a tall tower. He stopped, looking up at it, before ascending, not caring much about what he'd find at the top. Up and up, and up, he went, until he made it into a room with wide, open windows, filled with owls. Harry smiled, recognizing his beautiful snowy owl perched at the back of the room and he made his way over to her.
"Hey, Hedwig," He murmured, reaching out a hand to stroke her chest gently. She trilled, ruffling her feathers before nuzzling her head into his cheek. He giggled. "How are you liking it here? Must be fun to fly around out there." He nodded towards the dark forest in the distance, and Hedwig bobbed her head. He smiled, taking a deep breath. The darkness had settled back down in the pit of his stomach, and the resentment was lying there with it, keeping it calm. He patted Hedwig on the head. "I hope you enjoy it while you can, Hedwig, before I make it all go away." Hedwig looked at him with large, sad eyes, and he sighed, kissing her gently on the head. "I'm sorry, Hedwig. Maybe you can visit Hagrid sometimes. He lives here, so you'll get to go into the forest." Hedwig didn't seem very happy about that idea, ruffling her feathers angrily. Harry grinned. "Alright, alright, settle. You can stay with me." Hedwig chirped, before pecking Harry gently on the hand. Harry laughed, petting the bird slowly.
"Mr. Potter," The familiar cold, angry voice broke Harry out of his reverie, and he winced, turning to face his Head of House, his jaw clenched as he stopped the darkness from lashing out.
"Sorry, sir," Harry said quietly, but that only seemed to make his professor angrier.
"You are incapable of learning from your mistakes," Professor Snape snarled, and Harry winced. The Dursleys would agree to that statement. "Fame certainly has gotten to your head, thinking you're so much better than every other student. What made you think that you could leave before you were excused?" Harry didn't know whether that was a rhetorical question or not, so he remained silent. "I'm waiting, Mr. Potter. What made you think that you were more important than the others in the Great Hall?"
"I don't, sir," Harry said, his hands trembling with indignation. Did this man get off making every student feel like shit, or was Harry just a special case? He gritted his teeth. "I just needed a break."
"A break?" Professor Snape's voice practically oozed with sarcasm, and Harry shifted his gaze. Professor Snape met his eyes with condescending anticipation, and Harry watched in surprise when the man's spiteful expression slowly turned to one of shock, then confusion, before finally settling on loathing. "Let me make one thing very clear, Mr. Potter. You may have been spoiled and doted on at home with your family, but in my House, you will not get the same treatment. Understood?"
Harry was confused. Spoiled? Doted? He wasn't sure what that meant, but if not getting the same treatment meant that he wouldn't get starved, locked up, or hit, he would take it. Harry nodded quickly, and Professor Snape seemed shocked again, before he composed himself.
"Yes sir," Harry said obediently. "Thank you, sir." He hurried past the man and made his way back to the Great Hall, sliding back into his seat beside Theodore.
The other boy glanced over at him. "Escape didn't work out?" He asked teasingly, and Harry shook his head, laughing along with the boy even when inside he was roiling with disappointment. If he couldn't get out, how was he ever going to get rid of it?
Harry let Theodore prattle on beside him while he focused on examining everyone else in the room. Professor Snape had gotten back to the Great Hall pretty soon after Harry had, and now he was watching the man as he spoke with Professor McGonagall. They kept looking at him when they thought he wasn't watching, so Harry knew they were talking about him. He frowned, not too happy about it.
"Hello." Another boy stepped into his line of sight, and Harry looked up at the newcomer. He was smiling down at Harry, his brown eyes warm but mischievous, almost, like he knew something Harry did not. Harry nearly huffed, not a fan of feeling like he was always missing something when he was around the Slytherins.
But Harry reigned in his annoyance and gave the boy a friendly smile. "Hello," He greeted shortly.
The boy didn't seem too perturbed by his abysmal manners, holding out a hand instead. "My name's Blaise Zabini." Harry didn't know why these people insisted on using their full names. Maybe it was a weird wizard custom. Either way, Harry already decided he would not partake. He shook the boy's hand.
"Harry," He said, cognizant that Blaise already knew that, but introduced himself by habit. Blaise didn't comment, smiling instead.
"Nice to meet you, Harry," He said, and Harry nodded, glancing quickly at Theodore. Blaise looked over as well, and his calculating grin was replaced with a warm smile, one people usually reserved for those they were friendly with, so Harry assumed Theodore and Blaise already knew each other. "Hi, Teddy." Theodore waved, and Harry smiled a little, surprised that he was right. He wasn't usually right.
"You guys already know each other?" He asked, wanting to dig deeper, and Theodore nodded.
"Yeah, our families run in the same circles. We've all kind of grown up with each other," He said awkwardly, and Harry didn't blame him. His parents probably fought the parents of most of the students sitting here in Slytherin. That thought boggled his mind if he was being honest. How many of these people he was now Housed with had parents that sided with the man that killed his parents and tried to kill him? It was a rather distressing thought, and the darkness inside him let out a low roar. He gritted his teeth, pressing his wand into his thigh from where it sat in his robe pocket.
"Cool," He said instead, trying to sound calmer than he felt inside. He thought he had succeeded until he saw Blaise and Theodore exchange hesitant looks. He raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?" He didn't expect a real answer, and he didn't get one. Blaise shook his head.
"Don't worry about it," He tried to reassure him, and Harry only shrugged. Blaise didn't have to say it out loud for all three of them to know the truth.
"Did you all grow up together?" Harry gestured towards the other First Years, and Blaise nodded.
"Yeah, me and Teddy, Draco, Greg, Vince, Tracey, Pansy, Millie, even Daphne." Blaise jutted his chin towards a blonde-haired girl sitting farther down the table. Harry nodded along, though he was a bit nervous. He could assume why they grew up together, but he didn't know what would happen if he ended up becoming friends with some of them. But that was a worry for another day.
Before Harry could ask another question, the Headmaster had dismissed them back to their common rooms, and two older students stood up in front of the First Years. One was the girl that had reprimanded Harry for cursing, and the other was a boy he did not recognize.
"Hello," The boy said. "My name is Elijah Lestrange-" He gestured towards the girl- "And this is Gemma Farley. We're your Prefects and will be overseeing your adjustment to Hogwarts."
Harry stopped listening at that point, glancing over at the Gryffindor First Years, who seemed to be getting the same talk that they were currently getting. Ron met his eyes and grinned, waving. Harry couldn't help his relieved smile and waved back at his friend.
"Potter!" Gemma snapped, and Harry startled, his head whipping around to face the older girl. The darkness sent shockwaves through his legs, rattling his knees, and Harry almost fell to the ground. But he managed to control it well enough that he remained standing. "Have you been listening to us at all?" Harry nodded automatically. "Yeah? Can you repeat what I had just said?" Harry, aware that he couldn't, tilted his head.
"You already know I can't. Might as well do to me whatever you wanted to before you even asked that question," Harry said easily. He knew how this went. They would ask a question, already knowing how they were going to respond no matter what answer Harry gave, and then they would either hurt, demean, or shout at him. Harry didn't want to play that game, and he knew the older girl couldn't harm him for it.
Gemma seemed shocked, but she nodded. "Detention then, Potter. Report to Professor Snape's office tomorrow at 7pm," The Prefect said brusquely. Harry nodded, almost regretting his cheek. Professor Snape scared him almost more than his uncle did. At least he was used to the hatred from his uncle. He didn't know his Head of House, and the darkness grew antsy every time he was around the man.
"Sure." Harry shrugged, turning back to look at Gryffindor table, but they had already gone, so Harry was left to follow the rest of his House down to their dormitory.
Theodore sidled up beside him. "Detention your first night, that's rough, mate," He said, and Harry only shrugged. No point in being upset about it now. What was done was done. Theodore frowned. "Why didn't you just listen to them while they were talking?"
Harry paused, not too sure himself. "I guess I didn't want to," He admitted honestly, and Theodore remained silent, seeming unsure of what to say to that.
"By they way, the password is 'Belladonna'," Theodore said offhandedly, and Harry nodded. At this point, they had lagged quite far behind the rest of the group, and Theodore gasped. "C'mon, Harry, we gotta hurry, or else all the good beds will be taken!" Theodore, not noticing what exactly he was doing, quickly went to grab Harry's hand, but stopped inches away from touching him when Harry gasped. "Oh. I'm sorry, Harry. I forgot."
Harry could only nod, still frozen in place from the fear that had caused the darkness to bang against his ribs. He took a deep breath, concentrating on controlling the darkness and pushing away the fear. Theodore was watching him worriedly and opened his mouth like he wanted to ask him a question. Harry beat him to it.
"The good beds?" He asked breathily. "What do you mean?" Theodore stared at him, a stunned expression on his face, before he sighed exasperatedly.
"Of course. Of course, you didn't listen," He muttered, which Harry ignored, waiting patiently for him to answer his question. Theodore sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We're sharing a room with the other boys. Me, you, Blaise, Draco-" Harry made a face- "Greg, and Vince." Harry bit his lip, pondering this new information. He got a room here, and a bed? But he didn't even remember being that good, and he definitely did not get rid of it, so he surely did not deserve to have a room or a bed. Unless this was all just one big trick and Professor Snape was watching and waiting from the shadows to see if he would fall for it so he could to punish Harry.
"A room? With a bed?" He asked, feeling his anxiety grow. Theodore gave him a strange look.
"Yes. Where else would we sleep?" Theodore asked, bemused, and Harry felt like could cry. This was all going so wrong. Theodore must have picked up on Harry's dismay, because he winced in agreement. "I know." Harry felt his mood lighten at the thought that someone understood his sorrow. "It sucks, sharing a room. Definitely different from having a room to yourself at home."
Harry frowned, realizing that Theodore didn't actually understand anything. His aunt and uncle made it very clear that to be good, he had to sleep in his cupboard without complaint, even if the bed was just a foam yoga mat on the ground. He didn't get a room, because he was a freak and he didn't deserve it, and if he complained, well, only freaks complained. He didn't want to be a freak, but he couldn't explain all this to Theodore. His friend did not understand, not to the extent that Harry did.
So, Harry only nodded, resigned to whatever punishment he would receive for falling for this trick. "I guess it would be fine." He still felt the sadness gripping his heart, so he took in one deep breath and tried to put on a carefree smile. "Just wish I didn't have to share with Draco."
Theodore laughed. "Don't worry. You'll see that he really isn't all that bad."
Harry was doubtful but decided to take Theodore's word for it.
They managed to catch up to the others before they had entered the common room, but Harry froze just before he could step through the doorway. Theodore glanced back at him.
"Harry? Are you coming through?" He asked quietly, and Harry nodded stiffly, but he still made no sign of moving. "Harry? Are you alright?"
Breathing deeply to calm down the darkness, Harry nodded. "Yes. I'm fine," He said, turning to look at his friend, who was watching him with a concerned frown on his face. He didn't bother trying to reassure Theodore any further and stepped through the door.
And his eyes widened in shock. The room had high ceilings, dark brick walls, and the furniture was naturally, all dark green. There was a massive window on one side of the room that opened up to the lake, and Harry found his feet leading him towards it, eyes focused on the giant squid as it swam past the glass.
Theodore stepped up beside him. "Pretty cool, huh?" He asked, and Harry could only nod.
"Hey! Potter, Nott! Over here!" Elijah called, and Harry sighed, rolling his eyes, before making his way back over to the group. Elijah was glaring at Harry, and he had to fight the urge to stick his tongue out. "Professor Snape will be here to welcome you soon. We expect you all to be on your best behaviour." Harry's eyes flitted back over to the window, growing bored of the rant he was so used to hearing. No matter who said it, they all sounded the same. Harry didn't need a Prefect to tell him he was bad too. "Potter! Pay attention!" Harry's head snapped back around to look at Elijah, and this time, he didn't need a wand to calm the darkness down. The prefect was hardly even threatening at this point.
"Yes sir," He said noncommittedly, and he heard the Prefect sigh in exasperation.
Before Harry could be yelled at anymore, the door swung open, and a hush fell across the room. Harry raised an eyebrow, turning to look at the Head of House as he came to stand in front of the group. Professor Snape didn't say anything right away, staring down at them with cold, calculating eyes. Harry found himself growing bored again, but before he could turn his attention back to the giant squid, the man spoke.
"Slytherins are cunning, ambitious and driven. They are rational, intelligent, and sensible. They know when it's the proper time to speak, and when it's the proper time to act. Unlike Gryffindor, when they do act, it is thought through and planned. Slytherin's are powerful and loyal to their House and their equals." He paused to look at each of them in turn. Harry didn't bother meeting the man's eyes. "There are only five rules specific to this House. Rule number one, you will be in your dorms by curfew. 9pm for First Years, 10pm for second, third, and fourth Years, 11pm for fifth and sixth years, and midnight for seventh years. Rule number two, House meetings will occur every week, on Friday. No one is permitted to skip. Rule number three, the common room is a public area, therefore, there will be no roughhousing, dueling, fighting, or disturbing the peace. Rule number four, if you get a detention with another professor, you will also be serving one with me." He crossed his arms, his glare turning severe. Well, more than it already was. "And rule number five, we take care of our own. That means we do not intentionally harm another of our House." Professor Snape's gaze levelled on a number of students in the common room, First Years and older, before his eyes flitted over to Harry. Harry shifted uncomfortably, but the professor didn't verbally single him out, continuing instead. "It also means that no matter what sort of disagreements you have with each other; they do not leave this common room. We will remain united as a House and that will make us stronger, as individuals and as a group." Professor Snape ended his speech with a flourish as he placed his hands behind his back. "You should all be proud to be Sorted into this esteemed House. Congratulations, and welcome."
With that, he dismissed them, and the 1st Years immediately started chatting amongst themselves, going off to explore the common room. Harry was about to go back to the window when a cold hand gripped his shoulder.
"Potter, come with me to my office," His Head of House snarled. Before the darkness could lash out again, the man had removed his hand, and was making his way to the door. Harry panted as he tried to regain control of the seething darkness inside of him, his head pounding from the force that it had slammed into his skull. Professor Snape turned to glare at him. "Now, Mr. Potter!"
Harry didn't need to be told twice. "Sorry, sir," He murmured as he raced to catch up to the professor, who only watched on with contempt. Harry gritted his teeth, his hands trembling with the effort it took to push the resentment and darkness back down. But he did it, and Professor Snape did not seem to notice a thing.
The professor harumphed, and Harry followed him out. They walked silently through the hall until the man opened a door to reveal a classroom. He then opened another door and they entered what looked like an office. It had a dark wooden desk, a comfy looking settee across from it with a fireplace adjacent, and a bookshelf filling the opposite wall. Professor Snape sat down behind the desk, before looking up at Harry, his eyes burning. Harry hesitated, unsure, the urge to flee almost overwhelming. Professor Snape hissed angrily, pointing at the chair in front of his desk, and Harry hastily sat down, not keen on inciting the professor's wrath. The man watched him carefully over steepled fingers, and Harry fidgeted, chewing his lip nervously.
"Harry Potter. Our newest celebrity. Think you can just flounce around, breaking rules without punishment," The man drawled, and Harry gritted his teeth. So, that was how it was going to be. He was a piece of work. "First, you strut around like you own the place, second, you curse out a fellow housemate and use magic in the Great Hall, and third, you don't bother giving people the proper respect." Harry clenched his jaw, but remained silent, willing the darkness to settle. "I see that you have a detention with me tomorrow, so I will simply extend it until curfew. Understood?" Harry nodded. He heard the professor sigh. "Potter, I expect you to look at me when I'm talking to you." There was an undercurrent that scared Harry, and he jerked his head up, eyes wide.
"Yes sir, sorry sir," He said, and Professor Snape remained silent, watching him carefully. Harry waited on bated breath for a punishment, but none came, and he let out a small sigh in relief.
"Why did you swear at Draco earlier?" Professor Snape asked instead, and Harry froze, surprised that he was asking. He didn't know if he wanted to answer though and remained silent. "Mr. Potter. I asked a question; I expect an answer." The cold undercurrent was back, and Harry shivered but complied.
"He called me a baby. And he said I couldn't be friends with Hermione, and Ron because I belonged to Slytherin House now." Harry's gaze darted up and saw Professor Snape watching him oddly with a raised eyebrow.
"But you do." The man sat back, crossing his arms, and there was a challenging glint to his eyes that made the anger bubble up inside Harry.
"No, I don't! I don't belong," He said definitively, and Professor Snape only raised an eyebrow. Harry grumbled angrily, crossing his arms, and staring down at his feet.
"What do you mean, Mr. Potter?" Professor Snape didn't sound as scary anymore, but Harry did not feel like answering. "Where do you belong then?" Harry tightened his jaw, refusing to answer. "Fine, Mr. Potter. Come back for detention the day after tomorrow as well. Unless you want to answer the question. Then you don't have to come back." Harry shook his head, still refusing to answer. Professor Snape looked at Harry, his eyes piercing, and Harry met the man's gaze challengingly. The same irritated look that came over the man's face before in the tower, was back and Harry didn't know why, but it made him feel a little smug. The professor only sighed frustratedly. "You're dismissed, Mr. Potter. I will see you for the next two days. Be here at 7pm, sharp."
Harry was out the door before he could say anything else.
"What did he say?" Theodore asked, at his side almost immediately after he came back to the common room. Harry only shrugged. "Wait, are you not going to tell me?" Harry sighed.
"I got another detention," He said, and Theodore frowned.
"What? He gave you another? That's not very nice," Theodore said indignantly, but Harry only shrugged. Didn't bother him. Detention was hardly a punishment, in his opinion. Theodore didn't seem to agree, continuing to grumble in outrage. "That is totally not fair."
"I don't really care," Harry said, waving a hand, and Theodore's eyes widened. His friend seemed to care, and Harry scrunched up his eyebrows, confused. "What?"
"How do you not care? He's completely abusing his power!" Theodore was wholly offended on behalf of Harry, and Harry felt his heart flutter with warmth. His friend really cared about him that much?
"I guess," He said slowly. "He's not too bad, though." Theodore only shook his head in disbelief. Harry studied him carefully. "Why are you so upset at him?"
Theodore looked up at him then, his eyes holding a sadness that Harry found shocking, before shaking his head. "Don't worry about it, Harry." Theodore nodded towards the stairs. "Want to go choose our beds?" Harry, though still nervous about the prospect of having to sleep in an actual room with a bed, nodded hesitantly. Theodore grinned. "Okay! Race you up there!" He took of running and Harry laughed, racing up the stairs behind him. Theodore beat him up, naturally. Harry was still kind of weak from his last punishment, and he was out of breath by the time they made it up to the room. Theodore left his side and ran over to one of the two remaining unclaimed beds, beside Draco's, and the boy whooped, jumping onto the bed. Theodore practically sank into the plush bed, and Harry's eyes widened, before he looked around the rest of the room.
The rest of the boys had already claimed their beds and were unpacking. Blaise looked over when they entered and grinned, waving, and Harry waved back, smiling. Vincent and Gregory inclined their head slightly, and Harry nodded back at them. They weren't his favourite people, too similar to his cousin, but he could tolerate them. He would have to, what with the fact that he was sharing a room with them now.
Draco didn't say anything, starting at them scornfully with an eyebrow raised. "Out of breath just from running up the stairs, Potter? What, are you a weakling or something?" Draco sneered, but Harry ignored him, as per usual, in favour of looking around the room he was to sleep in, eyes wide.
He made his way to the last four-poster bed available, between Theodore's bed and Blaise's. Harry's bed, like the others, had thick curtains hanging down it and was a dark redwood that gleamed in the light. Each bed had a trunk at the end of it and a small bedside table, and Harry reached out with a trembling hand to touch the thick green blankets. Harry was aware that Draco was still talking, but he continued to tune him out, too entranced by the feel of the fabric on his fingertips to pay attention. He had never felt anything so soft and warm. He doubted that this blanket would have trouble keeping him warm during the cold winter months. All he had at home was his ratty baby blanket he had arrived in, and it did nothing to keep the cold away. He didn't have a pillow at home, either, but here, he got two pillows, both of which looked unbelievably soft.
He sat down, his hands still trembling, and the anxiety slowing began creeping up again. He was being so bad right now, so bad. His aunt and uncle would be furious with him. Why did he get these nice things, when he still hadn't gotten rid of it? When he was still a strange little freak? He had to get out of here. He got to his feet immediately, his breathing getting rapid, and made a beeline for the exit.
"Harry!" He heard Theodore call after him, but Harry didn't look back, taking the stairs two at a time as he ran. But the common room wasn't empty. The older students were still up, chatting amongst themselves and playing games, and now they were all staring as he stood there panicking and anxious.
"Potter?" Elijah asked him quietly, approaching slowly, reaching out a hand, but Harry flinched away from him, the darkness pushing against his skin and almost escaping in response to his growing fear. "Potter." Elijah reached out again, but Harry pushed his hand away and spun on his heels, flinging the common room door open and escaping into the corridor. He had to get out of here.
Harry didn't know where he was going, but he ran, as far as he could away from the freaks that kept trying to make him one of them. By the time he had slowed down, he was out on the grounds, and he felt the darkness settle down in response to the cool wind brushing against his skin. He sighed deeply, before walking further away from the school and out onto the grounds.
But he soon paused, tilting his head, when he saw a small hut in front of him, light glowing warmly from inside. He approached slowly and smiled when he heard the familiar voice singing inside. He reached up, knocking on the door, and he heard the giant go quiet, before heading to the door and opening it.
"Hi Hagrid!" Harry said, the rest of his anxiety creeping away at the sight of the familiar man, and contentedness started replacing the fear from moments before.
"Harry!" Hagrid said jovially and ushered Harry inside. "Come in, come in! Whatta surprise to see yeh here!" Harry followed Hagrid over to the kitchen table and sat down. The man took the kettle off the fire and poured the boy a cup of tea. "What're ya doin' out here so late?" Harry took the offered cup and sipped it slowly, savouring the taste. "Harry?"
He looked up at the giant, tilting his head. "Yes?" He asked, placing the cup down before looking around the room, eyes wide as he took in all the strange decorations Hagrid had up. His eyes soon landed on the big, grey dog lying down near the fire, and he grinned. He turned back to Hagrid as he pointed to the animal. "Can I pet him?"
Hagrid was staring at him strangely, but he nodded. "Yeah, sure. His name's Fang," Hagrid said, his voice sounding a little breathless. Harry narrowed his eyes, confused, but quickly shrugged it off, getting up from his chair and kneeling down beside Fang. He petted the dog gently, who stretched in response and opened his eyes. The dog gave Harry a toothy grin before licking the boy on the face. Harry laughed in surprise.
"Fang!" He giggled, pushing the dog's head away. Fang's tail started wagging even harder in response and he practically climbed into Harry's lap. Harry laughed, pulling Fang into a big hug.
"Harry," Hagrid said gently as he approached. Harry tried to tune him out, preferring to instead focus on the wriggling dog that was currently trying to crush him in kisses, but the size of the man made him hard to ignore. "Harry. What're yeh doin' ou' of yer common room? Why'd yeh come down here?"
Harry finally turned his focus back on Hagrid as he frowned. "I don't like it inside. It's too…suffocating." He kept his eyes on the dog, not wanting to see the giant man's expression, worried that he'd be angry, and Harry would get locked up again, or hit. Based on the size of the man, Harry figured that Hagrid could do some considerable damage if he wanted to.
"I understand tha', Harry," Hagrid said gently, sounding as calm as ever, and Harry looked up at him, startled. He wasn't angry? "But yeh shouldn'ta leave the castle. Isn't always safe to be outside at night." Harry frowned. He felt really safe here, with Fang, and the kind giant. But Hagrid continued. "An' the rules say yeh need to be inside yer common room after dinner. Especially as a Firs' Year." Harry didn't quite like those rules, and he turned back around to bury his face in Fang's neck in refusal. "Harry, I can take yeh back, or Professor Snape can come an' pick you up to take yeh back."
That Harry did not want. He stood up then, sighing reluctantly, and he nodded. "I'll go back with you," He said quietly, and Hagrid smiled, nodding. He stood up as well, and held out a hand for Harry to take, but Harry ignored it, walking ahead instead. "Hagrid?" The man didn't seem offended that Harry wouldn't take his hand, smiling just as jovially as he always had.
"Yes, Harry?" Hagrid glanced over at him. Harry didn't say anything at first, trying to collect his thoughts.
"Do you find it suffocating in there, too?" He finally whispered, and Hagrid didn't answer right away. Harry glanced up at him, and Hagrid seemed deep in thought.
"Yes, sometimes. I like bein' close to the forest, to nature. Sometimes it's too cold in there," Hagrid said, and Harry nodded, even though he had different reasons why it felt suffocating to him than the giant did. But he could empathize with Hagrid. There was something calming about being outdoors.
As they made their way back towards the castle, Hagrid continued chatting and Harry nodded along whenever the conversation warranted it, but he didn't say much. By the time they had made it back into the castle, Harry was barely nodding at all and once they were in the dungeons, he had almost completely retreated. Hagrid paused, most likely noticing the change, and went to open his mouth, but Harry beat him to it.
"Can I come and visit you? If I feel overwhelmed again?" He asked the giant desperately and Hagrid seemed to freeze in shock.
But he soon broke out of it and nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, o' course. During the day. Try an' stay inside the castle at night, though, Harry," He said, and Harry nodded, grudgingly excepting those conditions. They had now made it back to the Slytherin common room, and Hagrid smiled. Harry started to worry, the giant's expression looked like he was going to try and hug Harry, but Hagrid made no move to, and Harry relaxed.
"Good night, Hagrid," He said, and Hagrid waved as Harry stepped through the door. Elijah was on him almost instantly. Harry ducked his head.
"Potter! You can't go running off like that!" The Prefect said sternly, and Harry nodded his head robotically. "I won't give you another detention because you already have two with Professor Snape, but you will be talking about this with him, understood?" Harry nodded again. "Good. Off to bed." The darkness stirred at the mention of 'bed', but Harry had no trouble shoving it back down into its place.
"Yes, sir. Good night," He said quietly, and made his way back up the steps to the dormitory. Ignoring the questions from the other boys, he grabbed his pajamas before heading into the bathroom.
No one followed him in, and Harry was grateful for the privacy so he could quickly shower. His body still bore the injuries from the poker his uncle had used, and he didn't want anyone to see. Once his shower was done, he took a moment to examine the wounds in the mirror, and he winced at the sight of them. The many cuts on his back were deep and vicious, and had swelled up since the incident, turning red and puffy. One even looked infected, and Harry poked at it gently. He had to bite back a hiss of pain when his finger made contact, and he sighed, glancing over the rest of his body. He could count his ribs, due to his week in the cupboard before the train, and he shook his head tiredly, before putting his pajamas on.
"Harry?" Theodore asked quietly when Harry came back and crawled into his bed. "Harry." But Harry didn't respond, giving a slight shake of his head before drawing his curtains closed.
Hopefully, sleep would come quickly.
Thanks for reading! Please R&R :)