Disclaimer: Characters belong to Shonda Rhimes and Grey's anatomy.

A/N Sometimes it's hard to keep the pace with the translation.I had to choose between responding to comments or finishing translating to be able to update today. So I thought everyone would agree with the second option. But you have to know that I always read them, I still adore them, and I thank you for that

Chapter 14: "Memories are generally, never free of suffering."

As the two women had decided, they had spent the following days organizing family moments mainly for their little girl, taking great care not to admit that they loved that too.

Even though every night after putting Sofia in bed, Callie went back to Meredith's, she loved spending most of her time with her daughter and ex-wife.
With the laughter of Sofia and Calliope spread throughout the house, Arizona, had come to sense that she was home.

That's all that was missing in this house and her life.

One afternoon, secretly hoping that she would be able to divert for a while her daughter's obsession with "Frozen"; Arizona wanted to take Sofia to the movies to see "Beauty and the Beast."
She had insisted that Callie go with them, explaining that it would be foolish for her to deprive herself of cinema sessions with Sofia to leave them to her, and that none of them should henceforth be excluded from moments of pleasure with their daughter who in a blink of an eye would turn into a teenager who would certainly prefer to share such moments with her friends.

While she queued up to take the tickets, Callie had seen them both coming, with an ear to ears smile and sparks in their eyes, cluttered with a huge bucket of popcorn and three giant cotton candy.
The brunette had burst out laughing in front of the cheerful faces of the two people she loved the most in the world and the candy orgy they were planning.
The earth could have made an eternal pause on this perfect moment, as it had been ten years ago when Arizona dragged her to the movies to see «Ratatouille».

However, the Latin woman remained worried. Arizona had been out of a coma for about three weeks and her memory had made little progress, at least as far as her private life was concerned.
In addition, she was pressed by Penny's questions, who asked her regularly when she intended to return to New York.
All these mixed feelings made her confused, and anxious, which for the brunette always provoked signs of impatience that of course her ex-wife guessed.

Today Callie had just parked in front of a lovely home. The almost desperate look she had thrown at her, had clearly told Arizona, that it was an important place in their history, and that it would be in good taste if it evoked her something. In any case it seemed obvious for her that this place did not only bring back joyful memories in her ex-wife's mind, given the face the brunette was making at this precise moment.

- I'm sorry, Calliope... I... Nothing comes... It's like a black hole... I'm starting to wonder if...

- Holy crap that's really crazy! ... You remember every procedure of maternal fetal surgery... You'll soon remember Herman, who has been such a pain with you for months, and not that house you loved!... Arizona looked down at her feet... Seriously, Arizona? You…Do you remember Herman? The Latina was stunned.

- I got some flashes of her in the OR. The sheepish blonde , raises her sorry eyes on the brunette... And also, I see Alex being very protective, 'cause I looked pretty depressed and I let myself be treated like shit by Nicole and I... I don't understand how this could happen... I feel like when I don't get it, the film stops...

- Okay, okay. So, the professional part is back... That's good... It's a good first step. Right? Despite the tone that was intended to be positive and enthusiastic, Callie seemed genuinely affected... Let's go, this place seems unoccupied. Let's see over the fence if there's still the tree house... You loved that tree house so much... I think we bought the house because of the tree house.

Sofia was sitting in the back, in her car seat, losing no word of her mothers' conversation

- I also want to see the house! Is that the house where there was a murder?

- What? Arizona jumps and turns back to question her daughter.

- Who told you that, Sofia? Requests Callie, embarrassed

- Penny... One day I heard her tell you that mommy made you do anything she even made you buy a house that you hated because it was a murder house.

Two pairs of blue eyes and black eyes urged Callie to explain this detail of the story.
The Latina once again blamed herself for being too big- mouthed. It was true that trapped in an endless anger she had spent a great deal of time complaining and often blaming unfairly Arizona, particularly for all the faults in their marriage, but also for everything else that was bad in her life.

- There was no murder, it was a rust stain on the carpet of the bedroom. But I guess ... Uh...you know... The fact that we rushed to buy it, made me feel a little... Uh... That was a complicated period, Arizona... I... Well…Uh… Either way, you loved it. This house brought back your magic smile. The brunette was baffled by Sofia's confession.

- Well, let's see this beautiful house that makes people smile or kill them! Says Arizona, laughing.

Blinking at Callie to let her know that this wasn't important, the blonde grabs her daughter and tickles her. She did not intend to give any more importance to Penny's comments and the problems she seemed to have with her. She would have just liked to figure out why it was complicated, since her smile came back, and why her ex-wife was so troubled. Apparently in this house, things had become more complicated for Calliope than for her, and this thought was not really clarifying for her anything about their history.

The blonde loved the tree house, the swing and the pool in the garden. It seemed like a place where they could have been happy, and Arizona thought that Sofia could have been very happy here with her two moms. But she didn't feel anything else.

As Sofia held each of them by the hand, the two women taking care not to look at each other joined the car in silence. Arizona was disappointed and visibly Callie was as well.

The blonde saw that the more days went by, the more discouraged her ex-wife was. She didn't even dare tell her that some flashes came back to her regularly, because in those flashes, there was never anything of their life together, neither Sofia, nor Callie.

She had had a flash of her and Mark with a young man with incredibly beautiful eyes, whom she hadn't recall right away. Curiously, they were playing scissors- paper-stone somewhere in the hospital. Sometime later she remembered that this young man was Jackson Avery, but she didn't relate this image to the time of her life when it occurred.
She had also had flashes of Eliza, and moreover had not fully understood, why she believed to fall in love with this arrogant and cold woman who nearly jeopardized her friendship with Richard.
Some pretty hot memories with Carina also surfaced. But she didn't know what to do with all those little bits of existence that were popped up in her head in an anarchic way, giving her life the image of a patchwork of a cruel inconsistency.
Furthermore, the two most important people in her current world, and especially her daughter, she still didn't remember them, and that was killing her.

Faced with all the treasures of imagination that Callie displayed to help her; Arizona felt so guilty about this situation, that she had not yet confessed to her ex-wife everything that had come back to her in memory.

- I'm sorry, Calliope... I wish I could remember, too, but...

- No... It doesn't matter... I guess it will come later. It's good that you remember Alex and your job.

The blonde could see that her ex-wife was making enormous efforts to keep a smile on her face, but she had another reading of this resigned posture.
She was aware that Callie was obsessed with the idea of discovering the famous «breaking point» and that the Latin woman feared that it would simply be their common life. For her part, she had no proof of it, but she felt deeply that Callie was wrong. She loved so much everything she was going through at this very moment that it seemed absolutely impossible to her that Sofia and all the moments she guessed from her life with Callie could be the shock that blocked her memory.

- Mommy, I lost my memory too. Says Sofia breaking the silence that had settled, as she got back into the car

- Excuse me?

- I don't remember the apartment where I live in when I was a baby and I don't remember my dad either, or the house with the tree house, the swing and the pool... I'm like you, Mommy, I have a... Uh... retograde ometional mesia.

The two women break into laughter. Their little girl had frowned before pronouncing the name of the pathology more or less perfectly. The child had the knack to play down all the loaded situations.

- That's the true! Sofia was very upset that her moms didn't take her seriously.... I don't remember you and mama when we lived here and you made cranberry pies for mama and me, and then you know, you tasted it making that face... Under the blonde's amused eyes, Sofia imitated Arizona by taking a disgusted look like her Latin mother had told her... And then you shrugged your shoulders like that...and you ended up saying «Pfff ...she's not as good as my mother's». But mama always told you it wasn't true and it was even better than grandma's. The little girl comes closer her mother to whisper in her ear. It was a lie. Your cranberry pie is truly gross, Mom! But it was a little lie to make you feel good, mama says that these little lies are allowed when they are made out of love...

- I'm all for that. Says Arizona, listening to her daughter with emotion.

Through all the details that were revealed to her over the days, the blonde felt that she had been loved more than she even thought possible. She turned a troubled face towards her ex-wife who watched at her smiling.

- Completely your intellectual property. The brunette giggled trying to lighten up the moment

- I give you copyright, because I really like that you think like that, too. Whispers the blonde, before turning to her daughter... but about my disgusting pie; now, miss, I do not agree at all. Let's go to a pie contest and see who wins...

While making sure that Sofia was properly fastened in her car seat, Arizona tickles her little belly triggering bursts of laughter from the child.
When she reached the seat on the passenger side, she saw in her ex-wife's eyes this sad shadow that has shaken her even more since, she knew that she was responsible for it. Feeling the blonde's insistent gaze on her, the Latina starts the vehicle taking care to keep her eyes on the road.

- Calliope, You... You're not fine... Says Arizona in a low voice, so that her daughter doesn't hear... And I can see how this whole situation is hurting you ... And I want everything but that... and if you want...

- I'll drop you off at the park close to home and then, you know, there's the ice cream truck right next and you guys can make your way home on foot. It's... it's not too far... I have to go to the hospital. Interrupts the brunette.

- To the hospital?

- Bailey asked me to take care of a diabetic who is about to undergo a double amputation... I... I'll just take this case... I wasn't sure, but since I'm here... And then... He says he can travel to New York if he has to, so... Um...It's been a long time since I've dealt with a case like this. It'll do me good to do something other than put casts on broken bones. Plus, it's nice that Bailey trusts me again. You know, I... I felt her rather cold since I left Seattle for New York...

- Yeah, good for you... Says Arizona, aware that the Latina was trying to avoid the discussion she had tried to broach... Uh... Callie, if you want to go back to New York, I could handle Sofia. I'll call my mom and... I mean... you don't have to...

- Let's not get into that now.

Showing Sofia with a nod of the head, the Latina cuts the blonde dryly. She didn't want to hear the rest, she knew too well that Arizona could do without her, she did it so well that she even erased her from her life. But going back to New York didn't even seem possible. The brunette had convinced herself that she didn't want to get away from her daughter and that she had made a commitment to her former colleagues to help Arizona, but even though they were great reasons, deep down, she knew full well that those few days with Arizona didn't make her want to leave either. Arriving near the park, she gets out of the car to open the back door and kiss her daughter.

- Sofia, be wise with Mom ...

- Don't you come to eat ice cream with us?... Oh, that's right, you don't really like ice cream you prefer pizza...

Callie giggles and looks at them tenderly as the child grabbing Arizona's hand and wandered away while hopping. From afar, she guessed her daughter's voice, chatting and making Arizona laugh. It was really the image of the happiness she had dreamed of since the day she met the blonde, she would gladly have added one or two other chatty toddlers around them.

As they were about to become invisible to the brunette, Arizona slowed down and turned around as if she knew Callie had stood there watching them. She waves at her, sending an imaginary kiss, and then disappears with Sofia.
Callie's lips stretched out, drawing a smile on her face. She sighed. This version of Arizona supporting her in every hard time, had missed her so much.
While restarting the car, the Latina ponders. Was it really only because of the leg, or is it also after Arizona came back from Africa and found out that she slept with Mark, that some things deteriorated between them?
Even if she had care for her during the whole pregnancy, even if she had to recognize that the blonde had fought like a tigress to regain her place in this threesome, and claim the place of a full-fledged parent in the same way as the biological parents; Arizona had silenced her difficulties and fears, and Callie had hastened to ignore them. She had only begun to talk about it in couples therapy, but as usual, Callie had not let her say a word about it.

The Latin woman could not bear to be criticized for anything, so she stood up and ended the session prematurely. The brunette grimaces, her voice echoing in the car as she made her way to the hospital,

- Damn it! I kept blaming her for not saying what she thought, but the minute she tried to do it, I didn't let her...

Many memories came back to the brunette's mind... «I need to process; I'm processing right now». But the next second, not allowing her the opportunity to take the bomb she had thrown at her as a small revenge, she asked her straight away. "You are in or out." Another scene came to her mind. "Callie, I need to talk …And I need you, to do that." "I know you put on the red dress and everything" ...Once again, she had left an office, a waiting room or a room, slamming the door, leaving the woman she loved more than anything, speechless.

- No wonder she wants to forget the whole story. Said Callie out loud, shaking her head with sadness

She had no idea how she got there, the fact is, that when she came out of her thoughts, the brunette was sitting in her car in the hospital parking lot.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sofia had obviously preferred to start the afternoon with strawberry ice cream before going to play. The little girl had been going up and down the slide for a while, systematically calling her mother to look at her, before slipping.

Sitting on a bench, between two waves at Sofia, Arizona was thinking of Callie.
That friend thing wasn't working out very well. She guessed that they had experienced some tough times and even if her memory was lacking, it seemed obvious that many of them had had to be extremely painful.
But you don't suffer from what you don't remember. Memories bind people together, so they hurt those who remember.

Callie had described her in detail all that had been happy, and had given her a fairly succinct summary of the things that had gone wrong. So, she got the best part, she was lucky enough not to remember all those little things that leave scars. But she could see every day more that this was not the case of the Latin woman who fought against demons that she kept for herself and probably suffered from the wounds that were opening again. Arizona felt helpless and sad by this thought. She would have liked to know how to protect her, as the brunette did for her.

- Mommy!

Arizona raises her head toward Sofia, who called her for what seemed to be the hundredth time in the afternoon. Her breath stops and her stomach tightens. Her daughter said hello from the top of the climbing wall.
Initially petrified, the pediatrician keeps a smile fixed on her lips, then approaches calmly to avoid provoking any sudden gesture of the child, urging her daughter to be cautious in a calm voice.

- Sofia, you must get off now. You put a foot on...

- Hang on mom! Take a picture for...

- Sof!... Her mouth had remained open but no more sound had come out of it

Everything else had unfolded like a fast-paced movie. The paramedics had been called by a mother who had witnessed the scene, and an ambulance had driven them to the Grey-Sloan-Memorial.
Entering the emergency department her hand squeezing that of the child, Arizona was walking next to the stretcher on which Sofia was lying.

- Page Dr Torres and Alex Karev and Dr Bailey and also call Richard Webber... Yells the blonde, when an intern approaches her

- What's going on, it's a VIP... Snickers the young doctor, with an unbearable flippancy.

- That's my daughter! Call them immediately! 911! The young man complies in trembling. He had never imagined that Dr. Robbins, always so gracious, calm and smiling, could raise her voice at this decibel level.

Alerted by the screams, April, who was in charge of the emergency services, runs into her friend.

- Arizona, what's the matter with you? Calm down

- It's Sofia... she... she fell and... and she threw up. Her head needs to be scanned

The redhead turns to Sofia, who was quite conscious, and less frightened by her fall than by the unusual screams of her mother.

- What's your name? Asks April to the little girl

Not knowing if it was a joke or not, Sofia stares skeptically at the redhead. Taking a smug look, she winces.

- Hello! It's me. Don't you recognize me? I'm Sofia Robbins Sloan Torres. You're really weird, April. Do you have any retograde ometional mesia, too?

Continuing the usual examination April bursts into laughter.

- No, I'm just making sure you don't suffer from it

- This would be best done with a scanner. Interrupted Arizona, irritated by what she considered a waste of time... She needs a CT scan, April!

- Oh, but I totally have a retograde ometional mesia. Persevered the child, proud to show that she also knew some notions of medicine. I also can't remember, the house where I lived with mommy and mama, and also when mom made the pie and... The little girl is interrupted by April as she was going to tell her favorite story of the moment.

- Yeah, I think you're doing very well

- No!... You must do a CT, April!... Screams Arizona... I'm a pediatric surgeon and...

- And here and now, you are not. The trauma surgeon replies calmly

While Arizona was apparently ready to jump to the redhead's throat; Callie, Alex and Bailey were running in at the same time.

- What the hell is going on? Requests Bailey, while Callie seeing Sofia on the gurney came to her daughter to assess her condition.
The little girl curls up in her arms.

- Mama, you know, April's not very polite, she interrupted me when I was going to tell her about the pie story and then Mommy, she's weird, she yells after everyone... You... you think she's gonna yell at me, too?

On her side answering her colleagues, April tried to minimize the situation.

- It's nothing ... Arizona panicked and... Sofia is all right, but Arizona was freaking out

- I ... I'm not freaking out at all! She's... She's fragile. Ignoring the redhead, Arizona speaks to her pediatric colleague. Alex, she threw up you must be looking for a traumatic brain injury. Get a CT, Alex.

Callie had joined the group of doctors

- Arizona, calm down, she looks fine... Didn't she just eat a giant ice cream? She was speaking in a gentle voice to her ex-wife who was taking a deep breath, trying to put herself together.

- Yes ... but she eats it all the time and then...

- And then she got scared and threw up. Arizona, that's all. You need to calm down, honey.

- Stop telling me to calm down. Sobs the blonde. Calliope, please, I want her to get a CT scan! With resignation, Callie nodded

- Alex, please do it ...

- Yeah... I guess that won't bankrupt your insurance, and Sofia and her mom will be reassured. All right, let's go Miss Sofia...

Leaving the mothers in the waiting room, Alex takes Sofia, rolling the stretcher through the corridors like they were in a Formula 1 race, the kid laughed and screamed... Faster, Doctor Alex... Faster.

Under the dazed gaze of April and Bayle; taking a deep breath, the blonde snuggles up against her ex-wife who gently passes a hand on her back, warmly wrapping her arm around her shoulders.

Exchanging without a word a worried look with the redhead, Miranda walked away raising her eyes to heaven.

- She was on the toboggan... I ...I didn't take my eyes off her, Calliope... I ... Or maybe just a minute and when I looked up, she was at the top of the climbing wall and she was holding with only one hand to say hi.

- Arizona it's okay. She's fine... You know how kids are, one minute they're in one place and the next minute they're elsewhere. Don't worry, the CT scan will come back clear. We'll keep an eye on her tonight and I'll stay with you if you want. Arizona? Do you hear me?

The blonde had her eyes in the void, shaking her head, she seemed to be talking to herself.

- She needs to be more careful. She's already been here, twice. Turning to Callie, she asks... Had she been scanned when Penny stitched her up? Oh shit, I panicked, maybe she didn't need a CT scan. You know, when she fell, I was frozen, like when she had coded in the operating room when Spark was operating on her ductus arteriosus.
It was exactly the same, I thought she was... Looking at the brunette with the teary eyes, Arizona shook her head. Frankly for a supposedly renowned surgeon I'm pretty ineffective.

- Because here, you're first and foremost a mother... Callie smiled at this truth. See, you are always afraid of... Hold on... Uh... Arizona, I never told you that Penny stitched up Sofia's forehead and we never talked about Spark's surgery either ...

- In the ambulance... the blonde was staring at her feet again... I got flashes and I remembered Sofia, you know, when I started her heart with my fingers, I remembered everything...

- That's great! Callie exclaims. I was sure of that. The breaking point was Sofia... I told Meredith; you were always upset when you brought up Sofia's birth.

Relieved, Callie suddenly feels a weight of one ton that she didn't know she was carrying, rising from her chest. Rejoicing that Arizona had recovered her memory, even though she was aware that all the problems were not solved, the Latina thought that she had not been so in sync with the blonde for years, and now that the basics would be clear, their relationship could only get better. Feeling the blonde's hand resting on her thigh, the brunette looks to Arizona, being very hopeful

- I recall everything. Sofia, Mark, Lexie and even Cristina and Derreck and as well as the plane crash, the wood and the pain of my leg. I even remember Penny, but... but, Calliope, you're never in the picture. I'm so sorry Calliope, I…I still don't remember you...

A shadow passes over the face of the Latin, this revelation having the effect of an anvil that had just been dropped on her head.

Thanks for reading. I admit I'm a little sadistic with Callie here