I can't breathe, reading those words over and over again. My first instinct is to find and destroy the bug, but the small, rational part of my brain recognized that to be a horrible idea. It's too late for that to do any real good anyway - the damage has been done - so instead, I considered my options.
Another text alert disrupted my train of thought before I could even get the damned thing started.
He's sending a small team to pick you up today. Natsu cannot be there when he arrives!
Shit! How in the everloving fuck am I supposed to convince Natsu to leave? There's no way in hell he will do so willingly, especially if I tell him what's going on. I don't want to lie to him, but I can't tell him the truth. Fuck my fucking life! How did this shit get so damned complicated so quickly?
Okay, rational… Ghost sharing this information meant two things to me. First, he wants me to allow myself to be taken, which admittedly scares the shit out of me. And second, he has a plan. Hopefully. A third text gives me a timeframe until the shit hits the fan.
He didn't spell it out, but there was no need for him to: any team Jose will send likely has orders to kill Natsu as soon as they see him, and they will probably do the same to anyone else who gets in their way or tries to stop them. That means the Zodiacs also need to go, as well as Laxus and Gray. It doesn't take long for me to come up with a plan that no one will like - myself included. Once I made up my mind, I started writing a letter to Natsu, who happened to knock on the office door when I was nearly done writing.
"Hey," he said, leaning against the doorframe. "It's okay to take a break, you know."
"I will in a little while." I looked up and gave him a smile. "I just have a few things I want to take care of first."
"Alright." Natsu smiled back as he sauntered to my side, planting a kiss on top of my head. "Try not to work too hard, though. I know the past few days have been a lot, and things are probably going to get more stressful soon."
"I promise, only a little more today," I told him, taking a moment to bask in his closeness, since I know it may be the last chance I get to do so.
Natsu left the office after letting me know he'd be back in a bit to make sure I actually take a break this time. My throat constricted as I finished the letter, a single tear sliding down my cheek to splash onto the page and blurring some of the words, but not to the point they are unreadable. I quickly folded it and stuffed it into an envelope, writing just his name on the outside before grabbing another sheet of paper to pen a second letter. With the second letter sealed, I summoned Capricorn to the office.
"Would you please make sure this letter is sent with the rest of what will be leaving today?" I didn't know if Jose would be listening right at this moment, but I could not take the chance of giving too much information away.
"Of course, Miss Lucy." Capricorn took both letters from my hand, raising his eyebrow, but not questioning my unusual behavior. There was a reason I trusted him so much.
"Thank you. It is imperative that it gets out as soon as possible," I urged before dismissing him.
Capricorn left my office with a nod, and I practically collapsed in my chair as soon as he was gone. I spent a little time shuffling through papers until Natsu returned, and I hated myself for what I was about to do.
"Time for a break! Virgo and Taurus baked some cookies, and they're fresh out of the oven," the excitement in his voice was palpable, and all I really wanted was to take his outstretched hand and follow him wherever he would lead me.
"Not right now." I barely glanced up from the paperwork I had scattered all over the desk as if I was paying attention to anything other than him.
"Oh, c'mon," he said, striding over to me. "What part of 'fresh-baked cookies' did you not understand?" Natsu then leaned down, no doubt intent on picking me up and carrying me to the kitchen. As much as I've protested this treatment from him, I don't really mind it. Gods, but not this time.
"What part of 'not right fucking now' do you not understand?" The words were practically yelled, and he froze in what I can only guess was shock. Sure, we'd both raised voices in the past, but it was usually playful or provoked. This was neither.
"I'm sorry, Lucy." Pain was evident in his voice. "I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself. I didn't mean to push."
"So, what…? As long as you're being overbearing under the guise of caring about my well-being, that suddenly makes it alright?"
"What? No, I…" He stumbled for a few moments over what to say. "I'm not trying to be overbearing. I didn't even know I was doing anything wrong… If you'd have just said something…"
"You're an adult, Natsu, I shouldn't have to explain every little thing you do wrong. If you can't figure out how to rein in the possessive bullshit, maybe you shouldn't be here."
"I… I guess I'll leave you to your work, then," Natsu replied with a sad sigh.
"We both know that's not what I meant; I know you're not so dense you don't understand simple words, but I'll spell it out for you. If this is how you're going to act, that just tells me you were right this morning." I paused, knowing that I couldn't take back any of these words and sending up a prayer that Natsu would forgive me one day. "You don't deserve me."
My words had the most undesirable desired effect in human history. Natsu's eyes shimmered and his whole body quaked. He took a deep breath, and I watched a pained expression settle on his handsome features - an expression I never wanted to see on him, but one I was wholly responsible for.
"Can we talk about this? Please, Lucy."
My heart shattered as the first tears slipped from his red-rimmed eyes, but I held firm in my stance.
"There is nothing left to talk about." I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself in check; it would do me no good to start crying, too. "I don't know what more you want from me, but I got what I needed from you. I expect you to be gone from my estate within the hour."
Without another word, I turned back to the paperwork on the desk. To him, it must seem as if I was ignoring his presence, but I was acutely aware of his hand reaching out to me before stopping inches away. I heard each shuddering breath he took as he pulled it back, and my eyes followed every defeated step he took away from me. No matter how much I wanted to go after him, I knew I couldn't so much as make a sound to indicate my true feelings.
Heavy footsteps stormed down the hallway towards the office shortly after Natsu made his exit; I was not expecting the united front of Gray and Laxus barging in to interrogate me.
"What the hell was that, Lucy?" Gray sounded pissed off, and I couldn't blame him.
"That would be none of your damn business, Gray."
"What's with the bitchy attitude all of a sudden?" Laxus folded his arms across his chest and glared at me. "I may not like the guy, but he's been worshiping the ground you walk on since you two got here and he didn't deserve to be treated like that. What the hell is wrong with you?"
If he only knew how right he was about that. Natsu deserves so much better than I gave him; maybe one day, he will want to be my friend again. After my little performance, I doubt it will ever be more than that.
"What's wrong with me? Maybe I'm tired of a bunch of men dictating what happens in my life. Maybe I want to be allowed to make my own fucking choices and live my life the way I want without some asshole pushing me to do things I don't want to fucking do! And if you don't like my attitude, you can leave, too." I looked each of them in the eyes and had to remind myself that this has to happen this way. "I have everything under control here, and your services are no longer required."
My cousin was lost to me before I could even finish my statement. Gray stayed just long enough to get in some parting words.
"I thought we were friends, but you - right now, like this - this isn't the Lucy I know." His disappointment is strong enough that I could almost touch it. "You're wrong about one thing though… it's you who doesn't deserve him."
I stayed in the office after that, my insides twisted with guilt as I listened to all of them get in their cars and leave. With little else to do during that time, I logged into the estate security and redirected all of the feeds to Dragon Imports' servers.
Once I was truly alone, I checked the time: over an hour until company would arrive. All that was left was for me to make ready and wait. I walked to my suite, putting a match to the small stack of wood in my fireplace before grabbing a trashy romance novel I picked up from Fran and Lewis last month. The book joined me in the bathroom as I prepared myself for what was to come.
The ringing of my phone made me lose focus when I was almost ready, and I nearly dropped my contact down the sink. Taking a steadying breath, I slid it into place, blinking a few times at the unusual feel before answering the call.
"Hi, Juvia. What's up?"
"Gray called," she said hesitantly. "He didn't say what was going on, but told me we should cancel brunch today. Is everything alright?"
Never have I been more grateful to Gray in my life. With everything else, I had forgotten about inviting the girls to the estate today.
"Natsu and I had a fight," I lied. No part of what happened could be considered a fight, just me being cruel. No matter my reasoning, that's what it all came down to, and I hated myself for it. "It's probably best to just not do brunch this week. I'd rather be alone for a while."
"Are you sure? It might help to talk about it, and we can be there in under an hour with the way Erza drives."
That thought was completely terrifying, but not for the usual reason. While Erza's driving frightens all of us, it's the thought of my friends being here when Jose's team arrives that chills me to the bone. I just sent everyone else away to keep them from getting involved, and I'm not about to allow more people to show up.
"Yeah, I just want to be alone." LIES! "I was going to head out in a little while anyway, so I won't be here much longer."
"Where are you going?" Juvia's concern is touching, and it made me feel even worse for being deceitful. "Maybe we could meet you there?"
"I'm not really sure," I bit my lip. At least that's not a lie, since I have no clue where I would be taken. "Can you let the others know I just want to be alone for a while, but I should be fine for brunch next Sunday?"
"Of course. Please let Juvia know if you need anything."
I hadn't realized my heart could be any more broken, but I know Juvia only slips back into third-person when she is deeply troubled about something. After thanking her and assuring her I'll be just fine, we said our goodbyes and I ended the call.
With roughly ten minutes to spare, I walked to the fireplace and tossed the book into the flames. The crunching of tires on gravel drifted to me as I watched the book turn to ash. Instead of staying in my room, I made my way back to the office to await my captors.
Another few minutes passed before my guests made their presence known. A small explosion rocked the mansion, followed by thundering footsteps of people coming up the stairs.
Fuck making it easy for them to find me, I thought, leaving the false-safety of the office and running past the room that used to be my parent's bedroom towards the back stairwell.
I made it halfway down the hall before sliding to a stop. The man at the other end stared at me, a wicked grin splitting his face as his eyes lit with recognition and he stalked closer. Just what I fucking didn't need today.
"Detective Jackal?" I matched every one of his steps with one backwards. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Looking for you, of course." His wicked smile grew, and my confidence of being taken without harm withered at the sight of it. "I couldn't really turn down the opportunity for a bit of revenge on the little bitch who got me fired."
"Have you considered that maybe you were fired because you're just a colossal asshole?"
Jackal's eyes narrowed at my question before he launched himself in my direction, swiping at me like an irritated cat would. I realized why as soon as his fingertips grazed across my right arm, five lines of pain accompanying the touch from metal claws he wore on each finger.
As much as I want to either run away or check to make sure the scratches aren't too deep, I instead chose to engage in conversation.
"How the hell did you even know I'd be here?" I reached up into my hair as I asked my question and it fell around my shoulders as I pulled the intricately-carved stick out. I had not anticipated needing it so soon, but I will not allow Jackal to attack me without at least trying to defend myself.
"My new boss sent us here to fetch you for him."
"I didn't realize you were a delivery boy now," I joked as I dodged his near-constant attacks.
"Watch your fucking mouth," he yelled, lunging at me again, his clawed hand scratching deep furrows into the plaster where my head was moments ago.
Spinning under his arm, I was able to pull the sheath off my hair stick, revealing the hidden blade. The slice across Jackal's ribs that I had hoped would be debilitating seemed to only further enrage him.
"To hell with Jose, I'm going to make you pay for that."
"Jose? What's he got to do with this?" Please, please, please let him be stupid enough to answer…
"Yeah, Jose Porla, head of the Phantom Lord Group. He's going to make sure he gets some contract, and once he has what he wants, you get to choose where you'll be going."
If I weren't so fucking terrified, I would have been celebrating. Alas, I found myself trying to figure out how the fuck to get away without losing a limb - or my life - to an idiotic freak.
"An island resort for an extended vacation would be nice." I probably shouldn't be baiting him like that, but talking seemed to distract him from being accurate - for the moment, at least.
"Not a chance," he said with a laugh as maniacal as his smile. "You will either be going back to Bora to be his little sex slave again, or you can choose to go with me. I haven't decided what to do with you yet, but after what you've done to me, I promise it will be painful."
Two claws managed to find purchase as I froze in fear of being handed over to Bora or the sadistic man in front of me. They're so sharp that two perfect slashes appear across the front of my shirt; the accompanying pain is more than I expected as I felt the skin of my stomach parting. The wounds feel shallow, but still fucking excruciating.
Jackal was close enough that I knew the next hit would be doing some serious damage. A gleam in his eyes let me know he took great pleasure in the pain he was about to inflict, and he had backed me into a corner, so I had no way to dodge this one. His arm raised, but he didn't get a chance to bring it down where he planned. The shot caused my ears to ring just before I was splattered with blood and other things I'd rather not think about.
I watched him fall dead before me, but his body did not make any sound I could hear. Looking up with a measure of hope, it disappeared when I saw the face of a man I didn't know, his arm lowering his gun. The man's eyes held no warmth for me as he slid the weapon into its holster and pulled out a set of handcuffs.
"He was warned not to harm you too much," he said, walking towards me, but not getting too close, as I still had a blade in my hand. "And I do not appreciate when people cannot follow simple orders. Now, would you like to come willingly, or will I be dragging you out unconscious?"
My whole body trembles from the adrenaline and fear coursing through my veins. It's not much of a choice, but at least one of the options will not give me a fucking headache. I dropped my weapon and held my hands in front of me, my wrists close together.
"Nice try, but they go behind your back."
Turning around, I put my hands behind me. The metal of the cuffs was cold against my wrists. They were closed tight enough to prevent me from getting free, but not so tight that my circulation was hindered. I froze when I felt his hand on my lower back, sliding down over my jeans. What I feared didn't happen; the man grasped the top of my phone and pulled it out. It hit the floor with a soft thud, before his hand returned. He felt up and down my legs, then moved on to my torso and arms, ridding me of the second knife I had strapped to my left forearm and the whip I had wrapped around my waist as a belt.
"You won't be needing those." One hand wrapped around the short chain linking my hands together and I was pulled away from the wall. "Shall we?"
As if I really had a choice in the matter. The wounds on my stomach and arm burned with every step towards the front door; or, what used to be the front door, but is now a smoldering hole in the wall at the front of the house. Every second became an eternity as I was uncuffed and settled into the car, my hands slid into gloves which were secured at the back and anchored to the seat.
For the first time since the first text came in, I allowed myself to feel the full weight of what I've done. So many mistakes made because I didn't want the blood of those I care about on my hands. Instead, I pushed away my trusted friends and deeply hurt the man I love. That last realization broke the fragile dam of my feelings, washing everything away except grief and despair.
I had the basic idea of this chapter (around 1200 words) completed when I got the idea to write 'Natsu's Grief' as a companion chapter. I was going to make you all wait until Friday for this chapter, but I didn't feel the need to be so cruel, since I finished my editing and rewriting today.
Though I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, I have a feeling you didn't, since it's a bit on the traumatic side.
TTFN, Lovelies!