Numb. That is the only thing I could feel. Every part of my skin felt cold; my stomach churned painfully, and a burn crawled up the back of my throat. Nothing felt real, everything looked slightly fuzzy. I took notice of a bed in the room, taking a moment to wonder if it had been there the whole time, or if I had conjured it from my imagination. Since I didn't know what else to do, I pulled the blanket off the bed, wrapping it around myself before leaning against the wall and sliding slowly down until I was sitting on the floor.
Time slipped past me at an unknown rate - it could have been seconds or hours or days and I don't think I would know the difference. And then there was a change. It sounded like metal lightly scraping against metal, and a slight turn and creak. A key, my mind supplied for me, a knob turning. A door opening.
The final fragment that floated through my mind had my head snapping towards the sound, and I watched as Jose stomped into the room. He went straight to the balcony door without a look in my direction. Shortly after and without warning, I hear screaming. Screaming that I slowly began to understand as words, and they were coming from Jose.
"...deceitful little bitch?" His yelling stopped long enough for him to make his way across the room to me. Jose had always seemed tall, but at that moment he towered over me as if I was nothing more than a bug waiting to be crushed under his shoe. "Answer me, damnit!"
"Huh?" I could only stare after my near-unintelligible reply, having not heard his question in the first place.
Jose moved faster than I was able to comprehend, but the pain he caused snapped me fully back to reality. His grip on my right arm as he hauled me off the floor allowed him to dig his fingers into the scratches Jackal was so kind as to give me earlier. With his hands tight on my arms, Jose raised me slightly off the floor and shook me hard, forcing my back and head to slam into the wall behind me.
"What did you do to my son, you deceitful little bitch?" One time did not seem to be enough to satisfy him, as Jose slammed me into the wall after each word, the heel of my right shoe hitting just hard enough that I felt the disk inside snap from the force.
My head swam, and I knew there was a high probability that I had another concussion.
"I defended myself," I answered honestly through the light fog. "He wasn't supposed to go over the rail."
"You murdered him!"
He finally let go, throwing me back into the wall in his outrage. Knowing everything else had been deactivated, I covered my face with my hands long enough to pull out my other contact lens, then slid it into my packet beside its broken mate.
At that particular moment in life, I would have thought I had a better hold of my tongue, but that did not appear to be the case.
"Maybe," I started, raising a hand to my head to fend off the spinning of the room. "Maybe if your son wasn't such a twisted, demented fucking lunatic, he would still be alive. Maybe, just maybe, if he had been raised to be a decent person instead of a fucking monster… or if he had been raised by a decent person instead of you."
Jose's fist was stopped mid-swing, and until that moment, I had not realized Ghost was even in the room.
"What the hell are you doing?" The rage previously directed at me was instantly turned towards Ghost. "This little bitch betrayed me, and she deserves to pay for what she's done."
"Looks like she's paid more than enough." Ghost eyed me as he replied, taking in the new cuts and bruises I had collected in the short-ish time since he had last seen me. "I've secured our exit route, and we will be set to leave shortly."
Though he was not looking at me, I knew the words were not for Jose. I held back a smile, partly because I didn't want to seem suspicious, and partly because my face hurt.
"I cannot suffer any more betrayals," Jose continued his raving. "Dispose of her; I'm sure whomever takes over will be more than willing to let me line their pockets without asking so damned many questions."
Jose turned his back on us, only making it two steps before Ghost interrupted his exit.
"Actually, there will be one more betrayal today," he said; Jose turned back at those words as Ghost raised a small gun. "But you will not suffer as you deserve."
I was surprised that the gun did not make much more than a popping sound before Jose fell over dead.
"Are you alright, Lucy? Can you walk?"
A single nod was the only reply I could seem to muster at the moment, and I followed Ghost from the room. He unlocked a different room just down the hall, ushering me inside before locking it behind us.
"The escape plan is for us to be locked into yet another room?"
My incredulous question went unanswered as Ghost slid his hand along one of the walls, his finger catching on a panel and swinging it open to reveal a glint of stainless steel flowing down into a dark chasm.
"Not a chance." He had motioned for me to enter the small space that appeared to be a near free-fall.
"It's safe, I promise. It'll take us to a hidden exit; there's a car parked where we will come out, and I have the keys." Still, I hesitated, and Ghost let out a deep sigh. "You trusted me enough to get yourself here, now trust me enough to get you out again."
Fuck! He was right, of course, but that didn't make it any easier to wiggle feet-first into a dark hole.
"Push off, then wait for me at the bottom. Do not open the door until I'm with you. I've got a bit of a diversion to take care of, then we get the fuck out of this hellhole."
With a deep breath to steady whatever was left of my nerves, I pushed myself onto the stainless steel panel and slid into the waiting darkness. I have a feeling it would have been fun if not for the series of horrific events I had witnessed and been part of in the past few hours. The stop at the bottom was less fun as there was no real slope to slow my descent, just a few thick mattresses to soften the landing - which really only meant that I didn't break my legs at the bottom, instead just receiving a hard jolt that sent spikes of pain through my ankles and knees.
It didn't take long for Ghost to join me. He took a minute to allow his knees to recover before slowly opening the door, peeking his head out to make sure none of Jose's men were close enough to stop us. The car waiting for us was dark grey with windows so tinted, it was impossible to see inside except through the windshield.
I slid into the passenger seat and got myself buckled as Ghost slid into the driver's seat. No adjustments were made, and I realized this was the same car he had driven when Jose came out to the estate. My mind tries desperately to wrap itself around the fact that so much has happened in just over one single day.
"So, what now?" Ghost put the car in gear as I asked my question.
"I need to get you to one of your friends so they can take you to a hospital," he told me as we pulled away from the curb.
"Can't you just drop me off?"
A heavy silence settled over us as he navigated through the streets of Oak Town.
"No, I really can't." There was a sadness in his voice, and I wanted to ask why, but didn't get the chance. "I need to do as my name suggests and disappear. It would be dangerous for me to be seen dropping you off - for you, not for me - and I think you've been through enough already."
"Oh." I could not place where the disappointment came from, but it pressed down on my chest like a lead weight.
"Well, at least I don't have to drive you to Magnolia to find one of your friends," Ghost told me, his eyes glancing to the rearview mirror as we took the next right into a parking garage. We circled up several levels before he pulled into a spot next to the only car I'd seen in the lot. "Just wait a few minutes, your ride will be here momentarily."
I wanted to know what he meant, choosing silence instead as we waited. Less than a minute later, a car parked itself behind us, effectively blocking us in. Judging by the look on his face, Natsu was far past irate when he stepped out of the vehicle, drawing a gun as he did so.
"This ends here and now, Jose," Natsu said loudly as he pointed his gun at the car. "Open the door slowly."
Ghost nods, and I follow Natsu's instructions, though I'm even more confused as to why he's acting this way.
"Hands where I can see them, step out of the car." He sounded so furious, and hurt.
My hands went first to unbuckle my seat belt before raising slowly from the door, as instructed, Ghost doing the same. I grasped the car with my right hand for balance as I stood, a feat which took far longer than it should have due to the pain of my injuries. A little voice in my head reminded me that all three men who had put their hands on me today had lost their lives, but that did nothing but crack my already fragile mental state. I turned to look at Natsu as soon as I was far enough out of the car to see him and pushed myself the rest of the way to my feet. The look of shock on his face confused me a moment before I remembered he was expecting Jose.
"Lucy?" The gun in his hands was lowered and he said my name as if it were a prayer.
"Hi, Natsu." Gods, but I probably sounded stupid. I couldn't really think of anything better, though, except maybe to fall to my knees begging for his forgiveness, but I didn't think my body could handle any more rough treatment today.
"How?" He took one step closer and started to reach out to me, then stopped, his hand dropping to his side again.
Pain was easy to see in his eyes; he wanted to come to me as he has so many times before, to pull me into his arms, comfort me and make sure I am okay, but he stood his ground instead. I did this to him, and I didn't know if I could make it right, but I knew I had to try.
"I don't understand what you mean." I reached towards him with my left hand as I spoke. "How what?"
His steps were tentative as he made his way closer, reaching out again to graze my fingertips with his own. He watched as our hands came together with more than a little hesitation on his part, not saying a word as his fingers gently stroked my palm. Tears glistened in his eyes when he looked up at me again.
"You're alive?" There was confusion and awe in his voice.
"And she needs a ride to the hospital."
Natsu startled a little at the sound of Ghost's voice, looking over at him before his eyes fell on me again, taking in the damage that was not covered by clothing, bandages, or gauze. The sadness and confusion that had occupied his face mere moments ago was quickly replaced with fiery rage.
"Who did this?"
"No one who was left alive to do it again," I informed him, far more calm than I was truly feeling at that moment.
"Lucy can fill you in on the way to the hospital." Ghost cut in again. "I need to get into the wind before I'm brought into the investigation. I've got a crew coming to take care of the car, and I need the two of you to take care of each other."
He walked around the back of Jose's car to clap Natsu on the shoulder.
"You're leaving?"
"You're smart, Natsu; you know I can't stay." He seemed taken aback when Natsu turned from me and hugged him tightly. "Don't worry, kid, it's not forever." Ghost returned the hug with equal force before pulling away. "Now get out of here. Get your girl some medical attention, and go home."
"Sawubona, Ghost." Natsu looked directly into his godfather's eyes as he spoke those words.
"Sawubona, Natsu."
Natsu led me to his borrowed car - I can only guess that Gray knows he has it - and we were seated and on our way back to Magnolia. He tried to insist on taking me to the hospital in Oak Town, but I wanted to be closer to home. Two blocks from the parking garage, I remembered Natsu's question, and decided to not make him ask it again; I've put him through enough today.
"It was mostly Jose and Jackal, though Bora also had a hand in it."
"What was? And who is Jackal?"
"The three responsible for hurting me," I said softly. "Jackal is a former MPD detective; I guess Gildarts managed to get him fired after my botched interview. Jose hired him to be part of the collection team that came to the estate this morning. One of the others shot him for 'damaging the goods,' or whatever it was he called me."
"He was that blond prick?"
"Yeah."
"And he… he was killed at the estate?"
"Yeah, right before I was taken away." I was curious where he was going with this, so I waited patiently.
"One fatality. A blond," Natsu whispered almost to himself. "I thought it was you. We went back, and the police told me a blond was killed…"
We were both silent as I processed this tidbit. It had never occurred to me that Natsu would go back to the estate today, or that he would think I was dead. . That must have been difficult, and I had a better understanding of why he was so pissed in the parking garage.
"I thought you would have seen the feeds; I forwarded everything from the mansion to save on your servers just in case anything happened to the equipment we'd set up."
"I…I couldn't watch it." Natsu glanced at me before paying attention to the road ahead again. "Hibiki called Loke after we talked to the officer. I thought you were dead, and I didn't want to watch it happen… I couldn't."
"Hey." I placed my hand on his forearm, hoping to soothe away the anxiety.
"I could have protected you, Lucy." I barely heard his whispered words over the road noise. "Why didn't you let me? If not me, then the Zodiacs. You sent us all away."
Magnolia was fast approaching in the distance, letting me know that our conversation would not last much longer. There was a very real possibility that this was the last chance I would have to talk to Natsu for a long time.
"In the short time I have been knowingly involved in… well, everything, I guess, I have come to know one thing as absolute truth: Jose would stop at nothing to get what he wants." I took a deep breath in a failed attempt to steady my nerves. "The only person in that house they needed or wanted alive was me. All of you were at risk of dying if you had stayed, and the guilt of someone dying to protect me is something I'm already living with. But you… Natsu, I couldn't risk you."
A slight burning on my left cheek makes me flinch a little; I hadn't even realized I was crying until then.
"I love you." I'd said the words before I knew I was going to, but I couldn't take them back. Truthfully, I had no desire to take them back, so I said them again instead. "I love you, and I would rather know you were alive and hating me for what I've done than risk you dying to save myself. I was so scared, and I didn't know what else to do to keep you safe. And I'm so sorry for what I said to you." My tears fell freely now, and I made no efforts to wipe them away as they slid down to soak the collar of my shirt. "I didn't mean any of what I said to make you leave, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Natsu did not reply, but I watched his grip tighten on the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He pulled into the parking lot of Magnolia hospital a few minutes later. After taking in my appearance again once we were both out of the car, he removed his coat and draped it over my shoulders.
With the gentle care he had shown me every day, he led me into the emergency room entrance. Though I expected him to just drop me off - I would not have blamed him in the slightest if he had - Natsu instead stayed with me as I was checked in. He came with me when I was led into one of the miniscule rooms to be checked out, only leaving my side several times - including when someone came in to ask if Natsu was the one responsible for my injuries. Through nurses and doctors filtering in and out to monitor my vital signs, remove my hastily-applied first aid, cleaning and stitching up my wounds he stayed.
Two hours into my extended ER visit, the first detectives arrived. Twelve total law enforcement officers came to question me in the hospital - half were local police from three different cities, the other half from federal agencies. I was questioned about what happened at the estate and Phantom Lord's headquarters time and time again, with Natsu sitting silently next to me the entire time.
Somewhere around three in the morning, I was finally released. By that time, I had been awake nearly twenty-four hours, as I was unable to sleep at all in my little emergency room cupboard this time around. I have all the instructions and supplies I need to keep my wounds clean, and protocols to follow for the mild concussion Jose gave me.
"I can take you wherever you want to go," Natsu said as he helped me into his car. He must have contacted Gray to swap out, because he was never gone long enough to get the car himself.
I waited until he was sitting next to me to answer. It would be easy to have him drop me off at a hotel or with one of the girls - who surely knew what had happened by now - but that's not what I wanted.
"If… is it okay if I just want to stay with you?" I paused as fear of his inevitable rejection hit me hard, and I was unable to look at him in my shame. "I understand if you don't want me there anymore…"
Natsu reached up a hand to cup my face, avoiding my bruises and he turned my head towards him. His thumb caressed my cheek several times before I met his gaze.
"Wherever you want to go, Lucy…"
"Home," I said, and he gave me a small smile. "I want to go home, Natsu."
Thank you all for sticking with me through this wild ride. I think I have another 3-5 chapters until we reach the end.
I appreciate all the love and support I've received (faves/follows/comments).
TTFN Lovelies!
Sawubona - Zulu greeting. It literally means "I see you." More than words of politeness, sawubona carries the importance of recognizing the worth and dignity of each person.