As promised, Natsu brought me breakfast that morning, but that was the only time he checked on me himself. I did as requested and spent most of the day resting - it was not difficult, given the pain I was in, and since I knew no one would try to hurt me at home, I felt safe taking the pain medication that made my head fuzzy and put me to sleep. Mavis came to check on me several times and brought my meals, though I insisted she did not need to; she countered by pointing out it was important for me to rest both my body and my mind.
When I finally left my room on Wednesday morning, the apartment had been completely transformed. Strings of lights and holly garland decorated the walls of the living room. Stockings hung on the mantle above the gas fireplace, a tree that nearly touched the ceiling stood in one corner, decorated with more ornaments than I could count and surrounded by a small pile of wrapped gifts.
With all the craziness going on, it slipped my mind that it was only a few more days until Christmas. Guilt wrapped around me like a blanket as I walked into the kitchen to make my customary morning coffee. I didn't know if Natsu would want to join me or not, but I made him a mocha in his usual mug and left it for him - just in case.
The sun was resting just below the horizon when I slid the balcony door closed and sat in the same chair I occupied on my first morning at the penthouse. This had been home for almost four months, and I found myself feeling like an intruder all over again. Sipping my coffee, I considered my options; I could easily stay in my room for the next few days, keeping out of the way of what was surely an annual tradition.
While attempting to figure out the logistics of that option, a second came to mind. The two men responsible for me living in the penthouse in the first place were both dead, and with that new reality, my reason for living here was no longer valid. I was finally free to do as I pleased with my life, and as much as I wanted that life to include Natsu, it would probably be better for me to give him space. Most hotels in Magnolia would probably be booked solid, but it would be worth looking into so that I would no longer be in the way.
Once again, my planning is disturbed by the sound of the door opening behind me. Turning to greet Natsu, I am a little startled to find his brother instead.
"After everything you've been through, have you chosen to freeze to death on the balcony?" He hands me a blanket he brought out before settling into the chair next to me. "We weren't properly introduced Monday morning. My name is Zeref, it's nice to finally meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too. I'm Lucy," I tell him as I wrap the blanket around myself. With my mind so busy, I had not realized just how damn cold it was.
Zeref looked at me with a smirk on his face. "Oh, I know who you are. You are the only woman my baby brother has talked about since your party almost nine years ago." He took a moment to drink the mocha I made for Natsu before continuing. "And you are the only thing he wanted to talk about after Mavis banned us from the penthouse yesterday. I'm beginning to think you are an enchantress who has put him under a spell."
Not knowing what to make of that, I held my tongue and sipped at my drink. Zeref looked over at me, watching me as he drank his stolen coffee. As the seconds passed by, I began to grow nervous under his increasingly intense gaze.
"You're not planning on running away are you?"
His question caught me off guard. "What do you mean?"
"Well," Zeref's fingers circled the rim of his mug as he spoke, "you've obviously been through some trauma, and from the sounds of it, you're not really doing anything to deal with it, and you've been in an understandable self-isolation for several years. You seem more than a little overwhelmed by the events of this past weekend, and since you've run away in the past, that seems to have a high probability as your next course of action."
I hated the calculating look on Zeref's face. I hated that he presumed to know me or anything about me when we had only just met. And, most of all, I hated that he was right.
"I wouldn't call it running away," I sighed and brought my mug to my lips, only to be disappointed to find it empty. "It's three days before Christmas, and you obviously have plans and traditions; I'll just be in the way if I stay here."
"So instead, you'll just check yourself into some hotel where you will be alone - as I'm guessing you have been since your father's death - spending time with just your thoughts?" He glanced into his own mug, and by the look that crossed his face, I can only guess it was empty as well. "I felt that way, once. A long time ago, several months after our parents died, when Igneel was still in the process of adopting us."
"But I thought…" What did I think? Natsu never said anything to me about losing his parents or being adopted. Not that we've really had much time to get to know each other - a fact that made me feel even more like packing up and leaving. Who the hell was I to intrude on their precious family time?
"Biologically," Zeref said, temporarily halting my inner turmoil, "Igneel is our uncle. He and our mother were twins. I was eight when our parents died, but Natsu was only around eighteen months old; he knows about them, has seen photos and heard stories, but he doesn't remember a time before Igneel adopted us."
The temperature had dropped as Zeref and I spoke, and I noticed that it had started to snow, but I was too enraptured with his story to want to leave my seat and head inside.
"I was young and I missed my parents. Igneel was dealing with his own grief, as well as suddenly being thrust into parenthood," he continued his tale. "Our first Christmas together, I did not feel like I belonged anywhere, and was planning on running away. Igneel managed to talk me into staying, telling me that things would be different than the previous years, but that he loved us as if we were his own, and as far as he cared, we were his. That we'd been his since the moment he was told about our parents.
"Where I'm going with this, is that we are not exactly a conventional family, but every member of it has love for the others. And there is always room for one more at our table." He paused, standing from his chair and dusting the thin layer of snow off his clothes. "You've already been accepted into the family, so you might as well let go of the guilt and spend the holidays with us."
"But, Natsu-"
"Is processing, but I can assure you, he doesn't want you gone." The smile he delivered with that simple statement caught me off guard. It was warm, but I could see something hidden there that I knew would not be shared with me.
Standing from my chair, I brushed the gathering snow away before giving my own hesitant smile and agreeing to stay for the holidays. I silently added that I would at least try to confirm this information with Natsu; as I told Igneel, I would only stay as long as Natsu wanted me to, and nothing anyone else said would change that.
Once inside, we followed the sound of voices into the kitchen to find Mavis preparing breakfast, and two small blond boys sitting with Natsu at the island. As soon as we entered, Natsu looked up at us, his smile immediately transforming into a pout when he saw his brother. Or, more accurately, when he noticed that Zeref was holding his favorite mug, and likely coming to the correct conclusion that his brother had helped himself to his drink.
"What're you doing with that?" Natsu tilted his head towards his mug, glaring menacingly at Zeref.
"Bringing it in to be washed." Zeref kissed his wife on the cheek before setting the mug into the sink. "What's it to you?"
"Why'd you use my mug instead of your own?"
"Because there was already coffee in yours and you weren't awake to claim it."
Natsu then turned his attention back to me. "You made me coffee?"
The surprise and affection in his voice warmed me far more than the heat in the apartment could. Mavis and Zeref watched the interaction with amusement in their eyes, but I ignored them as much as I could.
"Of course," I told him, walking to the sink to wash his mug so I could make one he could actually drink. "It's not like you can be trusted to make your own coffee."
Mavis and the two boys openly laughed at my statement while Zeref tried to hide his amused chuckle behind a cough. Not a sound came from Natsu, and I began making his drink to distract myself from the fact that I just put my foot in my mouth. I take my time pouring too much chocolate syrup into the mug and adding a few shakes of cinnamon - just the way I know he likes it - before pouring in the espresso and adding the steamed milk.
As I set the carafe down next to me, I was engulfed in a familiar set of arms, Natsu resting his cheek just above my left ear.
"Thank you, Lucy," he whispered, then pressed a soft kiss to my hair.
"Don't be gross in the kitchen, Uncle Natsu!"
The yell from behind us startled both of us, and Natsu's warmth was gone as quickly as it had arrived.
"Zip it, Auggie, you're not the boss of me," Natsu responded before sticking his tongue out at the older of the two boys - who could not have been more than four years old - and taking a drink of his mocha.
"Natsu Dragneel, you better be nice to my grandsons." Igneel stepped into the kitchen and wrapped both boys in a tight hug. "Unless, of course, you would like me to start telling stories of when you were younger? I have a few good ones I've been itching to tell…"
All color immediately drained from Natsu's face. "Nope, I'll be nice. Do not share any stories right now."
Now I know that I absolutely must hear all the embarrassing stories from Natsu's childhood; they have to be pretty good for him to turn so pale. Igneel sends me a wink, and for a moment I feel as if I truly belong here. Then a sad reality creeps in - there will be no moments like this with my parents. Even if Natsu miraculously still wants to be with me, he will never have a chance to meet my mom, and as far as I know, he only met my dad the one time.
A tug at my pant leg caused me to look down at the younger boy. His arms were held up towards me, and the gesture was so sweet I nearly cried. I winced when I tried to reach down to pick him up, the movement tugging at my stitches. Disappointment crossed the boy's face for a moment before Natsu scooped him up and stood next to me.
"I don't know you yet." He cocked his head to the side as if trying to figure out who I was just by looking at me.
"Sorry, Lark, I forgot to do introductions." Natsu looked at me with a gentle smile. "Lucy, this is Larcade, and the older one is August, my nephews. Boys, this is your Auntie Lucy." A flush rose to my face at the title as Natsu leaned closer to whisper to Larcade, "she can't pick you up yet, but not because she doesn't want to."
"Why not?" Larcade whined.
"Don't tell anyone, but your Auntie Lucy is a superhero."
"Really, Uncle Natsu?"
"Absolutely, Auggie! And she can't pick you up because she got hurt taking down a big, evil monster this weekend."
Both boys stared at me in awe before Mavis announced that breakfast was ready. August took my hand and led me into the dining room, climbing into the seat to my left as soon as I sat down. Much to my surprise, Natsu sat on my right.
It was so surreal, eating breakfast with this family that barely knew me, the kids asking questions about my 'heroic battle against a monster even their Uncle Natsu couldn't defeat' - his words, not mine. Some of his embellishments were for the benefit of his nephews, but I knew that some were just for me.
Though I tried to help clean up once we all finished eating, I tried to help with cleanup, but was shooed off by Igneel. While I would usually feel a sliver of guilt, I was too exhausted by the events of the morning to do much more than return to my room to rest.
Both Christmas and New Year's Day passed more quickly than I could have anticipated. Zeref and Mavis returned to their home on the first of the year, Igneel leaving the day after. Natsu and I still had not had our talk, but he did stop shying away from me, and as the days had worn on, the casual touching started anew, much like it had when we became friends.
Because Natsu never could do anything considered normal, I received a text from him several hours after Igneel left. He said he was ready to talk, and asked me to meet him in the garden. He must be insane wanting to talk on the roof, since it's below freezing outside and it has snowed for a few hours every day for the past week.
My nerves caused my whole body to shake as I picked on several layers worth of clothing to combat the cold that awaited me. I took a few minutes to look at the damage that had been done to my skin two weeks ago; all the stitches had been removed, the cuts were healing well, and the bruises had almost all faded away.
After pulling on all my clothes, I left my room and headed towards the rooftop. My stomach twisted and clenched until mild nausea set in as I ascended the stairs. I grasped the knob before I could change my mind, opening the door to the chill air of a mid-winter afternoon. The wooden paths had been cleared and salted, and I followed them to where Natsu was bringing a small fire to life in front of the bench swings we sat in the first time he brought me up to the beautiful gardens.
Natsu either did not hear me approaching - unlikely - or chose to ignore me in favor of coaxing the fire into something that would provide warmth, so I took a seat on one of the benches. He did not leave me waiting long, settling himself on the bench swing next to mine. I tried not to feel disappointment that he chose not to sit next to me, but I knew I needed to have realistic expectations on how this conversation would go. Knowing what I do about Natsu, I know that he would not be intentionally cruel, and I held tightly to that fact as I awaited his first words.
"Sorry it took so long for us to talk," he began, "but I know at least two people who would have been eavesdropping, and I wanted this conversation to be private."
"After spending more than a week with your family, I think I can guess which two," I replied, earning me a smile from Natsu. There was so much more that I wanted to say, but instead I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself silent; I had already given my reasoning, and would again if needed, but that was only if he wanted to hear anything from me.
Several minutes were spent with Natsu staring at the flames, their light dancing across his features as I waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts.
"I don't think I've ever felt as broken as I did two weeks ago. I spent several hours thinking you hated me, only to find out it was a ruse to get me out of harm's way. After rushing back to the estate, I thought you were dead, and the only thing I could think to do was to kill Jose. After leaving Cap and Loke with the rest of the team, I headed straight for Phantom's headquarters intending to do just that… or die trying. I didn't really care either way."
He ran one hand through his hair, pulling it back from his face before finally looking up at me. "I'm not really used to other people being reckless on my behalf; it's not something that ever really happened before you came into my life. And what you did was reckless. Do you even know how many times you could have died that day? How close it came to everything going so much worse than it did?"
"Sorry," I whispered, dropping my gaze so I could no longer see the conflict in his eyes.
"I know, but I don't want to hear it anymore. You've apologized enough already. Besides, it's not like it's reasonable for me to be angry - or even upset - with you for something that I've done countless times."
"Does… does that mean I'm forgiven?"
"Yeah, you're forgiven. Have been for a while, but wanted this to be just us."
"Yeah… So, if I'm forgiven, does that mean we can still be friends?"
The pained look that crossed his face made me nervous all over again. This is where the other shoe will drop, I thought. I'm forgiven, but…
"I mean, we can be friends if that's what you want?"
"What do you want, Natsu? Everything has been about me for months, and I'm sick of it. What you want matters to me; if you want to be friends, I will accept that and be grateful. If you want to keep doing…whatever we were doing two weeks ago, we can go back to that. And if you want me to go, then I will leave. It's your choice as much as it is mine."
Natsu took a deep breath and stood from his bench to join me on mine. He pulled his right hand out of his pocket to reach out towards me, lacing his fingers through mine when I grasped it with my left.
"Lucy, I don't really want to be friends." My heart sank, and it must have shown because he quickly corrected himself. "No! I mean, I don't want to be just friends. And, I don't want to just fuck around - as you so eloquently put it - I want more than that, and I think both of us deserve it."
"Are you saying you want me to be your girlfriend?" I smiled, hoping with all my heart that that was what he meant.
"No, I don't want you to be my girlfriend. I...I love you, Lucy, and if you'll have me, I want you to be my wife."
"I…what?"
"I love you." Natsu said again as he pulled his left hand out of his pocket. "I'm in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He slid off the bench to kneel in front of me. "Lucy, will you marry me?"
The subtle burn behind my eyes had nothing to do with the smoke coming from the fire behind Natsu, and I could see the glassy shimmer of tears welling in his as well. For a moment, I thought I must be dreaming - there was no way he was really proposing to me - but then a gust of wind brushed its cold fingers across my exposed face, and I knew this was real. Holy shit! Looking down, I noticed Natsu looking increasingly more nervous, and I realized that I had not said anything, and I should probably give him an answer.
"Yes."
His eyes lit up brighter than the sun. "Really?"
"Yes," I said again as he slid the ring he had been hiding in his left hand onto my finger. It fit perfectly, but I did not get a chance to admire it. As soon as the ring was in place, Natsu was off his knees, pulling me into his arms and kissing me with a gentle passion I had been missing for weeks.
When we pulled apart, both nearly gasping for breath, I got a good look at my ring: a star sapphire with a ring of tiny diamonds and sapphires alternating around it. It was beautiful and perfect, and I told Natsu as much.
"I'm glad. Zeref called me an idiot for picking something a little less traditional."
"When did you have time to go shopping with your brother?"
"Um, the day after you got drunk with Loke. Mavis kicked us out because I wanted to watch over you, but she said you wouldn't be able to rest if I was hovering."
I giggled at his admission, as well as the embarrassment that colored his face a brighter pink than his hair. There was so much more I could say, but in that moment, only one thing mattered.
"I love you, Natsu."
"I love you, too, Lucy."
He smiled as he took my hand to lead me back inside. The fire he had lit to warm us for our talk was getting low and would put itself out, but the fire Natsu had lit inside my heart burned brighter and hotter than I ever thought possible. Our lives would be far from easy, but I knew we would be alright as long as we had each other, and not for the first time, I was glad to be pulled away from Levy's rehearsal dinner for a service call.