"Oh Merlin."
Harry rubbed his eyes blearily, pushing aside his blankets.
"Ohhhhh Merlin."
Harry scampered out into the hallway, the feet of his pyjamas skidding on the wooden floorboards.
"What is it this time?" Harry asked, peering eagerly into Remus's room. "Is it a lion?"
A week ago, they'd found a young kitten mewling under Harry's bed, so small it could fit into both his hands. Remus had dropped the poor animal off at the shelter, but the next day there was a bat hanging from Harry's closet door. And so it had begun. Ravens in the refrigerator; koi fish in the bathtub, a little lynx lying curled up on the windowsill in the kitchen. The panther in the parlor had nearly given Remus a conniption, though it had been nothing but friendly before he'd gotten in.
Remus's bedroom was neat and spare as always. There was a cup of tea and a handwritten itinerary on the nightstand, a weathered chest that Harry knew contained medical supplies, a bed with flowery old linens, well-set with hospital corners, though Remus had his head and body half-buried in it, chasing a moving shape-
"Rabbits," Remus said by ways of explanation, rooting around further, "Aha!"
He pulled himself out of the blanket, cradling a large tortoiseshell bunny to his chest.
"Take this for a moment?"
Harry reached out, taking the warm weight into his arms. It was heavier than he'd expected, and nestled contentedly in his hands until he could set it down in the pen Remus had conjured.
Trying to find the source of the other scritching sounds, Harry glanced behind the bookcase while Remus frowned, picking up a pair of trousers. A blonde rabbit lackadaisically hopped out of one of the legs, finding a spot under his bed.
Harry put a hand to his mouth to muffle a laugh.
"It's not that funny," Remus said dryly, upending his wizard's hat on the night table to release a white rabbit at least twice the size of the hat. "Not when the next thing could be a panther or a cobra. Or a cow-"
Remus's gaze snapped to the closet and he walked over, opening it and immediately dodging as no fewer than half a dozen rabbits bounded out, chasing each other over the wooden floorboards with skittering thumps.
Harry gave up the effort, laughing helplessly. He picked up the bedskirt and reached underneath, pulling out a rabbit under each arm. Their little pink noses wiggled, sniffing the air.
Remus peered back into the closet more gingerly, holding his lit wand up, and began the process of gently extricating the small black rabbit nestling in his Christmas sweater.
"And we have to make another trip to the animal society to drop them off before the full moon tonight…" he continued, sighing.
"Do we have to?" Harry asked.
Remus just gave him a look.
"I know, I know, we can't get a pet," he muttered.
Remus frowned. "If we only knew where they were coming from…" he said. "The wards should've…" He turned suddenly back to Harry. "Have you been doing something?"
"No!" Harry said indignantly.
"Perhaps by accidental magic," Remus mused. "That snake was certainly something… "
"I didn't do it!" Harry protested. "Why would I, even?"
"I guess not," Remus said, reaching a hand out and ruffling his hair. "It's just something James might've done, that's all."
"Really?" Harry said. He liked hearing about his dad, but sometimes it made him feel bad, like he'd failed a test or something.
Remus smiled, turning back for a moment.
"Luckily for me, you take after Lily in that regard."
Harry grinned.
"Go get dressed- I'll deal with this lot," Remus said.
"I don't mind helping," Harry said. He put the two pets he was holding down into Remus's transfigured pen.
"Thanks," Remus said, tapping his wand to his wrist, "But you're best off getting dressed. Loki said he'd be in by eight thirty."
Harry looked at his own watch, yelped, and raced to the bathroom for a quick shower. He rifled through his drawers, took out his best-fitting robes and the trousers with big turn-ups, and was just lacing up his trainers in the kitchen when a knock sounded at the door.
"Coming!" Harry said, pulling the door wide to let Loki inside.
Loki always seemed a little out of place at Harry and Remus's house, beside the shabby floorboards and the floral wallpaper, despite wearing black wizarding robes instead of the battle gear he normally wore. He stood in the doorway, looking keenly at everything, and then gave Harry a long look too, as if assessing how much he'd grown since he'd last seen him.
At last, his face broke into a wide smile and he bent down.
"How's my favorite godson?" he said, pulling Harry into a hug and then straightening up.
"Uncle Loki, I'm your only godson," Harry said, following him into the hallway. "Remus's in there, fighting off rabbits."
From behind the door, there was a faint scraping noise, then a muffled, "Ow!"
"Oh dear," Loki said, his lips twitching. "Shall we?"
"Oh, you're here already-" Remus said. "Why don't you wait in the kitchen and Harry can help you to some tea? Sorry for the inconvenience, I just-Argh!"
He cut off with a muffled cry as one of the rabbits leaped over the walls of the pen, scrabbling over the corner behind the bureau.
"Of course, I understand," Loki said politely. He reached down and picked Remus's hat off the night table. He beckoned Harry, putting a finger to his lips.
Harry grinned.
"It's just- do you normally have such a problem with lagomorphs?" Loki asked. He twitched his fingers and a rabbit came up to the hat and hesitatingly crawled inside.
He picked up the hat and tugged at both brims, giving Harry a view of the inside. Completely empty.
Harry giggled quietly.
"What?" Remus said distractedly. He was now inside the closet, trying to reach a bunny that had somehow crawled onto the high shelf.
"Bunny rabbits," Loki said, twitching his fingers again. A couple more rabbits approached the hat. "Rather an unusual problem for a wizard."
"Yep," Remus said, stepping backwards out of the closet. He'd evidently decided it would be better to levitate the rabbit down and was carefully lowering it into his arms.
"Are you sure it's a real infestation?" Loki asked, ushering the last of the penned ones back into Remus's old hat.
Harry covered his face, certain that any minute he would burst with laughter.
"Pretty sure, yep. We just had this with the bats. Why?" Remus asked. Loki dropped the old hat back onto the night table with a flourish just as he turned around.
"It's just… I don't see any rabbits at all," Loki said.
"What?" Remus asked. "They're right-" He looked around at the suddenly clean room, then he looked back up at his wand and yelped. In the place of the creature he was levitating was a stuffed rabbit toy, albeit a realistic one. He looked around, half frantic and then, surprisingly, broke out into laughter.
"So it was you."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Loki said smoothly.
"You really had me going!" Remus said, looking accusingly from Loki to Harry, who was overcome by giggles. "I thought- you wouldn't believe what I thought. Animagi transformations, accidental magic for summoning animals, something strange with the wolf-" He looked at Harry, who was lying on the floor, laughing helplessly.
"And you were in on it! How- I cannot believe you managed to keep a straight face!"
"Only for the last bit," Harry managed, clutching at his stomach. He pulled himself off the floor.
"I suppose my accomplice has outed me," Loki said, magically straightening Harry's robes. "Remember, Harry- never confess to anything for which you don't want to bear the consequences."
Remus frowned, looking like he wanted to contradict that, but in the end, all he said was, "It's almost ten. You said you wanted to take him early today?"
"Yes," Loki said. "We have a couple of errands to run."
"Very well," Remus said. "And you're all packed, Harry? Do you have your toothbrush?"
"Yes, Remus," Harry said obediently.
"Nightshirt?"
"Yes!"
"Comb?"
"Sure, not that it'll do anything."
"Good boy," Remus said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Be on your best behavior these next two days…"
"I know, I know," Harry said.
"To treat everyone you meet with politeness and civility…"
"I will-"
"And don't wander off or do anything dangerous…"
"I know, Remus," Harry said. "I won't, I promise."
Remus smiled.
"I know you won't," he said. "I'll see you on Friday."
Harry looked back at him for a moment, like he was sizing him up.
"Stay safe," he said. "Don't let the wolf hurt you too much."
"I'll try," Remus said, with a small smile.
"Good," Harry said.
He returned to Loki, who was leaning across the whole doorframe with his back on one side and the toe of his foot on the other.
"Ready now?" he said, straightening up, and they were off in a flash of gold.
"And you must be young Harry!"
"The Boy-Who-Lived, in the flesh!"
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Potter."
Harry reluctantly shook the hand of a bowing, violet-robed wizard, slowly shuffling after Loki through the Leaky Cauldron.
"I don't get why they always do that," Harry said quietly, as Loki had tapped the doors to open up the archway. "I didn't defeat him."
At least everyone had been relatively happy this time around, Harry thought. The worst were the ones who would see him and show him a picture of a loved one who had died in the war, or simply start sobbing.
"Well you are my godson," Loki said with a little smile. "Everyone always wants to meet the royalty."
"They don't go after you," Harry said. "Not when you're in a rush, anyways."
"Aura of interference," Loki said, flicking his wrists by ways of explanation. Several people around them started and did double takes. "I'll teach it to you when you're ready for it."
Harry sighed. When he was eighty, at that rate.
Diagon Alley was busy today. A floating owlcage bumped past them, pursued by a hag who pushed through the crowd. A broomstick swept the storefront of Quality Quidditch Supplies, which had a poster of Gwenog Jones flying around on a Comet 260. She flew up to the front of the page, winking, then zoomed off into the sky.
"So do you really think we're going to be able to find muggle school supplies here?" Harry asked, looking around the magical alley skeptically. A woman in bright smaragdine robes passed them by, calling out that newt's eyes were two sickles a dozen.
"You can find anything you need, if you know where to look," Loki said, beckoning Harry up to the bronze doors of Gringotts bank. He approached the desk and put down a few galleons. The goblin at the register looked expression cooled.
"Ah," she said. "You."
"A room, if you please," Loki said. "I have something to discuss."
Eventually they were ushered into a back-room by a goblin named Nagrok.
"Are you planning to open an account with Gringotts today, Mr. Minister?" the goblin said, his fangs gleaming slightly in the dim room.
"I have my own ways of managing my funds," Loki said, meeting the goblin fangs for teeth. "I am here to do… business."
Harry sat on the couch across from the goblin, debating whether to take some of the old-looking biscuits.
"Our services come at a steep price," the goblin said.
Loki dropped a gold coin on the table.
"I can pay," he said.
The goblin watched, expressionless, as he withdrew another gold coin with a flourish, then another.
"Very well," he said at last. "What do you need?"
Loki reached into his pocket and handed a paper to the goblin.
"I have a list."
The goblin scanned the list, frowning.
"These won't be easy to… acquire."
"That's a shame," Loki said. "I'm sure my contacts in the Paris branch would be more than happy to supply. Perhaps I should go to them instead, but I did hear you were the best."
Harry gave in, picking up a biscuit and nibbling at the edges. It wasn't as hard as it looked, but it was very dry and no one seemed to have thought to put out a pitcher with the food.
The goblin across from him was backtracking quickly.
"That won't be necessary," he said. "It won't take long. So long as we are adequately… compensated for our services."
"But of course," said Loki, his teeth gleaming in the semi-dark. He drew out a gray bag, pushing it across the table. "Will this be sufficient?"
Nagrok carefully drew the strings and the bag fell open, throwing golden shadows across his face. His eyes widened.
"Yes," he said, baring a fanged smile. "Quite… sufficient. We will meet again shortly."
"I'll be waiting," Loki said, leaning back as the goblin redrew the bag closed, the light vanishing as he turned to leave.
Just as he reached the door Loki sat up quickly, snapping his fingers.
"Oh, one more thing. Could you please bring a glass of water for my godson?"
Nagrok turned back, startled.
"Oh, was that not supplied?"
"Yes, it's a bit of a glaring absence," Loki said frankly. "And the biscuits are dry."
"My apologies," Nagrok said, "It's the new intern, Griphook. Absentminded as sin. I swear, he hasn't changed these out for days."
"Good help is so hard to find," Loki lamented as Harry choked, dropping the half-eaten biscuit back onto the table. "Take it from a Minister."
"I can only imagine," Nagrok said, turning back for the door. "We'll have the drinks brought along as soon as we can, and then we'll be back with your… acquisitions."
"I'll be waiting," Loki said, with a little wave.
Harry blinked, leaning back into the couch.
"What-"
The door opened and a tray of drinks floated in, settling down at an empty spot on the table.
Harry poured himself a glass of pumpkin juice and drank greedily, relieved to find the drink cool and fresh-tasting. The door to the little room closed, and he turned to Loki.
"What was that?"
"Ah," Loki said. "That was your school supply list."
He looked at Harry's scandalized expression.
"In my defense, it was a very extensive list," Loki said. "Journals? Three-ring binders? Four colors of highlighter?"
"But how would they even…" Harry trailed off, imagining a goblin pushing a shopping cart down a shiny store aisle, comparing two brands of notebook.
Loki shrugged.
"Goblins trade in muggle money, so they must have some connections to the muggle world," he said. "They're resourceful and they don't like to turn down a job. And you have to admit, they're a joy to do business with." He laughed. "Reminds me of home!"
Harry frowned, turning back to Loki, just as the door opened again.
"Your goods," Ragnok said, stepping into the room. He was levitating a small tower of notebooks, plastic binders, and assorted pens, some with barcodes still attached.
"Excellent," Loki said, banishing the pile to pocketspace. "A pleasure doing business with you."
"Come again soon," the goblin said, baring a fanged smile.
"Don't worry," Loki said ominously. "I will."
They walked out of the bank.
"Nope," Harry said, shaking his head. "I wouldn't admit it at all."